If you missed Part 1 of “Rob’s top 10 moments of 2009,” make sure you read it first!
Did I forget to mention Cannes when recapping your 2009 yesterday? Really? REALLY!? I’m so sorry. How could I forget your “I’m trying to be a cool dad” polo-shirt and the morning you read the newspaper to Stephanie Ritz and how I fell in love with the French paparazzi as they called out “Robear, Robear” to you? I’m sorry. You’ll see that added on the poll today as we vote for the “top 10 moments of 2009 for Robert Pattinson.” Plus here’s a video recapping your time at Cannes that I’m pretty sure will make you forgive me:
Here’s a quick refresher on what you were up to in the latter part of 2009:
-you had a summer to remember in NYC and we have thousands upon thousands of pictures to remember it by, as well. we tried to figure out what Remember Me was about, and you discovered that while wearing the trucker hat from the hotel gift bag doesn’t hide you from the paps, it does give you a ‘hat hair’ look you enjoy- plus you save money on hair gel.
-your fame grows to a level unprecedented (and by “unprecedented” I mean to a level that can be expected for a famous person since, well, you’re famous.) and girls run after you, paps chase you down the street because you refuse to change your outfit and, therefore, are the most recognizable man, next to the naked cowboy, in NYC.
-a new holiday is minted when a “Rob overload” is declared on July 17th.
-the philosophy of the pattinson pants lady, who was discovered and fallen for many months before, was discussed, at length, in our first, full-feature interview with the brilliant (fake) lady herself.
-you decide to throw us a fast one and wear a new shirt to the teen choice awards. little do you know, we know so much about you we should be institutionalized and we know it’s the shirt your friend Marcus sweated in at a show the night before. We consider for a split second that maybe that makes us want to have sex with you less, but then we remember GQ-Rob and forget that split second.
-you learn how to text
-you take a cab ride with your friends Kristen and Marcus and then forget about it 2 seconds after closing the cab door while we never will forget and robsten fans all over the globe still remember intimate details of the day they heard about the “Robsten Cab ride” and begin all conversations with the question, “WHERE WERE YOU WHEN IT HAPPENED!?”
-we consider, yet again, what if weren’t famous but were, instead, a wedding crasher?
Read the rest, after the jump!
-you inspire a song of epic proportions that joins the hands of the Robstens, Nonstens and “I don’t give a crapstens” as lyrics better than the ones Michael Jackson penned are sung in every household across the world: We are the Rob.
-we remember how much we miss rob porn and bring it back to the basics
-OK magazine hacks into Moon’s computer and reads the personalized fanfic she was writing for ME about ME and ROB and changes MY name to KRISTENs and decides to sell it as the story of you and Kristen’s “Palatial Pad”
-martha’s vineyard (or the hamptons or the entire area in the USA north of New York City) will never be the same after you licked lobster off your buttery fingers in its presence. and vanity fair does it again.
-you’re photographed on a motorcycle, in front of a palace-like building, and acting like the lover in a Harlequin romance novel with some girl for Harper’s Bazaar.
-you “out” your relationship with the girl through a wrist holding picture
– just as quickly as you out yourself, you closest your ‘are they, aren’t they’ relationship somehow again. who knows why. an interview where you lie? an interview where you’re confused. an interview where you mistook the interviewer’s question of a ‘love affair with Kristen’ as a ‘love affair with hot pockets’ and you answered that it was only a passing fancy?
-you fall in love with uc & moon in the riff raff room at the ellen show
-a guy who looks strikingly like you, but is most likely your grandpa in the 40s, was in some new movie, barely.
-moon gets all controversial with the fandom as campaigns are started speaking out against the very same media that made you the star you are in the first place.
No wonder you’re growing a beard! With all that action in 2009, you’re clearly too tired to shave! Maybe something on the ‘highlights from 2010″ list will be “Rob hires new girl to shave his beard and they fall madly in love. Her name is UnintendedChoice and just last year she was writing a list just like this.”
Here’s to an even better 2010!
You know how this works! We’re going to vote for your top 10 moments of Rob’s in the latter part of 2009. First here are the results from yesterdays poll. We’ll compile all the results to come up with the final list!
10: Word Vomit #1: Inappropriate things to younger girls
9: Action Figure Edward
8: Biel’s fan vids
7: Word Vomit #2: Coming out of your pants
6: Dumpster Diving
3: Twilight commentary