Dear Rob,
I just sat through 2 hours of the Teen Choice awards and I have to say it: You are an amazing liar!
Delivered in perfect awkwardness off the script Stephanie and Manager Nick whipped up in the limo. Good job!
The whole thing was quite painful and godawful but of course there’s nothing else on Mondays night TV besides never ending reruns of John and Kate Plus Eight and that might just be a torture worse than this. But just barely… so here are a couple things I noticed during the whole thing that made it just slightly more bearable…
You on the red carpet
Choice Bromance! You should ask Jackson if you can borrow his Blu-blockers and Kellan if you can snag his shoes
Yup, still there
Rob: Damn this surfboards getting heavy and I need another Maker’s on the rocks this buzz is wearing off… hopefully this crazy bitch will shut her yap and carry it for me with her toe thumbs so I can hit the bar quick like
Rob: UC and Moon are on the phone, they think DrunkRob should help accept the 11 awards Twilight won, what do you guys think? Yup, ok DrunkRob is a go!
And to round out the night the obviously awesome folks at Gossip Cop must be huge Twihards/Robfans/LTR gals cause they made this:
Vodpod videos no longer available.
The Rob hair stroke counter of the night. Oh touch it one more time! That’s what she said!
Oh what a night it was Rob… just don’t ever make me do that again… or if you must please watch it with me and a house full of the good stuff.
LTR gals are the hottest hotties! (and that ain’t no lie!)
Themoonisdown
Don’t miss out on UC’s coverage of the Teen Choice Awards over at Letters to Twilight
Talk about your favorite moments in The Forum!
Letters to Rob 
Rob looked very yummy – but no TCA in UK 😦
Off to check out YT 🙂
By: summergirl on August 11, 2009
at 8:18 am
“The hottest hottie, the hottest teens are the Twilight fans…”
I nearly died of embarrasment for Rob. He was probably struggling to remember the exact words his manager made him memorize.
Boooo! Just let Rob say what he likes. Perhaps something in the fashion of ‘I’ve got a little popcorn, er, surfboard coming out of my pants’? Now thát would have made a hilarious acceptance speech!
By: Bella on August 11, 2009
at 8:20 am
Your right. .. that WAS an a painful & awkward moment for our boy… I think Melissa Rosenberg wrote his speech. LMAO. i.e,. “The hottest teens are the “Twilight Teens.”… (fyi their also batshit crazy jail bait so watch it).
I imagine what Robbie really wanted to say was to them was:
” You crazy bitches SHUT THE FUCK UP and QUIT YOUR BLOODY SCREAMING SO I CAN HEAR MESELF THINK” …
HEY did ya notice he did the Rob smirk?
xH
By: Hermes on August 11, 2009
at 1:30 pm
HAHHAA if melissa wrote it the speech would have been like this:
uh the teen choice awards are cool. surfboards are great. ANIMAL ATTACK!
the end
By: themoonisdown on August 11, 2009
at 6:17 pm
I love the Rob smirk. That’s one of the clips on replay when I watch Twilight.
By: JulieP on August 16, 2009
at 11:12 am
Oh Jesus. I love the guy but those sneakers are KILLING me. They look heinous.
Now off to watch the vids . . .
xox
By: Jaydey17 on August 11, 2009
at 8:28 am
All I think of when I see those sneakers are Heaven’s Gate Cult. Talk about a hose-down. *off to find some Rob pics from the ankles up*
By: Sarah S on August 11, 2009
at 9:03 am
HAHAHAH heavens gate cult shoes. I LOVE IT!!
By: themoonisdown on August 11, 2009
at 6:17 pm
I LOVE the shiteous Nikes!!! lmao!
M
By: myria101 on August 11, 2009
at 11:41 am
Love them too!
By: toyang on August 11, 2009
at 12:13 pm
That was pretty excruciating-watching all the celebs pretend to be happy they won a surfboard. Especially Rob-he didn’t look at all like he wanted to be there and that line about Twilight teens being the hottest or whatever-he actually looked embarrassed.
Do you think in his more reflective moments he wonders “what the hell have I done? I have to attend these humiliating awards shows, I’m on a Burger King crown and I’m probably going to have to chew a baby out of the womb..”
By: dazzledtodeath on August 11, 2009
at 8:29 am
yes.
By: unintendedchoice on August 11, 2009
at 10:50 am
Love you.
By: Katie S on August 11, 2009
at 11:26 am
“chew a baby out of the womb”…ROTFLMAO…that is funny. Don’t forget about:
– being attacked by some crazy bitches on the streets of New York city
– now having to worry about KStew getting shot by same crazy bitches
– taxis trying to kill me…..oh no, now I’m extremely paranoid
By: Lynda from philly on August 11, 2009
at 11:40 am
Oh God I forgot about the baby womb chewing thingy. and here I was eeking out over the hickey stuff. ugh. NOW THAT’s a “Hosedown” moment.
Yeah, I can image Robbie having to say over and over to himself.. ..
” One more year and I’ll be 50 million richer.. one more year, one more
year and I can leave all of this behind, no more pimping myself out, no
more screaming pubscent girls… I can get back to TomStu..”
Robbie sold himself to the devils of Hollywood.
Yeah, this was a bit painful to watch.
By: Hermes on August 11, 2009
at 1:38 pm
Yeah, he really must feel like such a whore when he sees all the tacky Twi-merch that’s out there.
By: dazzledtodeath on August 11, 2009
at 5:52 pm
@ Dazzled:
Yeah, but you forget they don’t have Pattz Pants for sale yet, you gotta make those.
The one Twilight item i get a kick out of is…..little Eddy, or pocket Eddy/Edward as he is sometimes called.
You got to admit, little eddy’s a gem, pop him in your purse, on your shoulder, strap him down in your car, I sometimes have him hugging a Heini beer bottle, or put him naked in a glass of vodka and tonic… drink up.
ps. I love those little Eddy posts that UC and Moon used to do.
bring em back..
(can’t wait for a little pocket TomStu as well) I’d put him on top of a cup cake and lick the frosting off of him, (naked of course).
By: Hermes on August 11, 2009
at 6:38 pm
@Hermes-
I have a pocket Eddie! He’s not tacky.
Can you get yours naked? Hmmmm.. Mine has his clothing painted on. Only the flaps on his jacket have a realistic, opening effect.
Or do you just pretend he’s naked?
He’s hands are realistically molded to the perfect shape to hold a beer bottle, though.
By: dazzledtodeath on August 11, 2009
at 8:41 pm
Yeah I agree!
By: southernbelle on August 11, 2009
at 3:22 pm
Dear Moon and UC:
You really took one for the team by watching this crap last night. I kept flipping back and forth between the ball game and the awards.
Every time I turned back to Teen Choice, the Jonas Brothers were on. I finally decided I just couldn’t do it.
I knew you two would hit the highlights this morning so I wouldn’t have to suffer.
God Bless You!
By: toooldforthis on August 11, 2009
at 8:31 am
Moon gets the award! i did not partake!
By: unintendedchoice on August 11, 2009
at 10:50 am
Slacker. No fan points for you.
By: Janetrigs on August 11, 2009
at 12:03 pm
But I really tried! There was not enough liquor in my house. About the time the Jonas Brothers were getting their hair cut I thought, “You know, life’s too short.”
By: toooldforthis on August 11, 2009
at 4:26 pm
janet you and i racked up about 20 round trip flights on air rob by watching that. HIGH FIVE!
By: themoonisdown on August 11, 2009
at 6:19 pm
@ tooldforthis.
DITTO here as well.
By: Hermes on August 11, 2009
at 1:43 pm
I love how he awkwardly tried to hold the surf board horizontally. Gave us some good finger porn.
Was anyone else hoping he’d turn around just a little too fast and smack Megan in the ass with his board like some old slapstick routine?
By: JodieO on August 11, 2009
at 8:40 am
“Was anyone else hoping he’d turn around just a little too fast and smack Megan in the ass with his board like some old slapstick routine? ”
Now that’s all I’m picturing. And it’s PURE GOLD.
By: Jax on August 11, 2009
at 8:46 am
LMFAO!!
By: milfy goodness on August 11, 2009
at 10:35 am
That would have been hysterical……then he would be RUNNING to the bar after dropping said surfboard right in Kristen’s lap and tripping on his untied laces in those shiteous nikes !!!!!!!!
By: Lynda from philly on August 11, 2009
at 11:44 am
I would have sat through an entire Jonas Bros concert and kissed Justin Chon on the mouth to have seen that whole scenario.
By: JodieO on August 11, 2009
at 2:01 pm
I so detest Megan Fox.
By: Bellasnemisis on August 11, 2009
at 2:02 pm
I had such a dilemma watching the hotties award. Let’s be honest, I had a little trouble watching most of the whole show. I love Rob but I HATE Megan Fox. Hate her with a passion. But I love Rob more. So it was a Love-Hate thing sitting there watching it. I would have changed the channel, but my love of Rob won out and I sat through that crazy b’s acceptance. For being all Rob-like and awkward, I think it could have been worse.
By: Meg O on August 11, 2009
at 8:41 am
I agree it was very painful to watch. Two hours of my life gone, never to be returned.
Like everyone else, I died when he said the hottest hottie comment, made even worse when he tripped over the words and couldn’t get them out first time – shit, should have rehearsed more in front of the bathroom mirror. Rob, the minute you said that, I thought “oh god, this boy is gonna end up in jail!”
My main question of the night is, what the hell does he do with the surf board he won? Turn it into a coffee table? Hang it above the fireplace at Mum & Dad’s pad? Use it as a chat up line to get the “chickeybabes” back to his pad, “You wanna come home and take a peak at my extra long but hard and colourful surf board?. We can ride some waves together all night long” Or like Miley, does he use it as a stripper pole and attach it to the nearest ice cream cart?
So Rob, I think we all felt your pain last night….
x
By: Cazza on August 11, 2009
at 8:44 am
you know all that shiz is going to a storage unit or poor stephanie ritz’s guest closet.
By: themoonisdown on August 11, 2009
at 6:21 pm
Well my DH taped it for me but I watched bits of pieces of it in between getting my DD for bed. I let my little toddler stay up late so she can watch her Robert. LOL. It was so funny, she and I screamed a lot at the same time!
It was cheesy but I watched it because I miss him and I want to see him! 🙂 But I was sorta tired of the Jonas brothers, they were on a lot.
I like the Nikes but I must say it didn’t go w/ his outfit that time. How I would have loved to put some nice pair of leather shoes on his feet…heck I’ll even shine it for him.
By: southernbelle on August 11, 2009
at 8:49 am
However embarrassing I would still have liked to have a chance to watch the whole thing. Will check the videos, though!
Couldn’t someone nominate him for something worthwhile? The Noble prize? The Golden Globe? The World championships in swimming 100 metres? (bath trunks and goggles – awesome!)
Would have liked to see him juggle that board – Awkward-Rob is my favourite!
By: MariaCecilia on August 11, 2009
at 9:02 am
I love the Jonas Brothers. They were the best part of the evening for me. They were cute, slightly awkward, charming as hosts, and didn’t have some random English d-bag berating their personal convictions. An all around WIN for me.
Don’t judge the JoBros. I’ve seen ’em live…they rocked it out and kept it real.
And Rob was adorkable. Except for the shoes.
I feel safe in assuming he drank a serious amount of Jack Daniels & Coke following this “choice” awards ceremony. Bless his baggy-booty. (Those pants were seriously sagging in the seat. Yeah, I noticed.)
By: Leigh Anne on August 11, 2009
at 9:02 am
Who is the random d-bag please?
By: summergirl on August 11, 2009
at 9:23 am
Done my research – Russell Brand?
By: summergirl on August 11, 2009
at 9:28 am
Ack, he’s back on this year to host the MTV Music Awards
next month. PUKE!
By: Jena on August 11, 2009
at 9:41 am
Triple puke. He’s awful. Ashamed he is English.
By: English Girl on August 12, 2009
at 7:58 am
I noticed the saggy seat too..didn’t do a thing to lessen my lust.
By: dazzledtodeath on August 11, 2009
at 9:39 am
Me neither….he still made my heart pitter patter.
By: southernbelle on August 11, 2009
at 9:49 am
Enjoyed the JoBros too. I took my daughter to see them a few weeks ago and now I’m actually a fan. Before that, just barely tolerated. But I’m a sucker for a good live concert, and they were awesome. And now that Joe (the middle one) seems to have stopped flat ironing his hair . . . well, cough, he’s not so hard on the eyes.
So, yeah, I liked that part of the show. But I didn’t understand why they used shells and surfboards. Is it always like that?
By: milfy goodness on August 11, 2009
at 10:39 am
I hope I didn’t sound like I was judging the JBros. It’s just that I felt last night they were there almost every minute of the show and I couldn’t wait to see Rob. Sorry! One of them is actually cute, the one that got the haircut from Mike Tyson(was it Mike Tyson?).
By: southernbelle on August 11, 2009
at 12:44 pm
good grief—does anyone seriously defile Jack Daniels with coke (& i don’t mean the powdery kind)?—the saggy jeans i learned elsewhere were Dior, the shirt was allegedly lifted from his friend Marcus, the jacket is some specially shorn wool & the shoes are the Nikes we all love—the result was Rob at his hobo best, bless his heart—
By: expat on August 11, 2009
at 12:44 pm
i did NOT enjoy the jobros because they sing from their nasal cavities and not their diaphragms. oh boys who is your vocal coach?
By: themoonisdown on August 11, 2009
at 6:23 pm
Hear, hear! I think Rob has proven time and time again, that he could wear a polyester Dickie’s unisuit and still look freakin’ INcredible. That’s the thing, he’s SO un-Hwood! You know all these other twits hate him for the fact that he always looks cool, regardless.
By: LizD on August 12, 2009
at 1:33 pm
They don’t let him speak. Borrrriiing.
Sad times. Will we ever see him do indie spirited interviews again ??
Off to watch my little ashes DVD
By: niahid on August 11, 2009
at 9:09 am
Amen to that sister!!!
Could watch that shizzle for ever!! No limits 🙂
By: summergirl on August 11, 2009
at 9:23 am
let Rob speak.You can so tell when he’s being fed lines-he doesn’t bother trying to put any conviction at all into what he’s saying. It’s his way of saying “F you” for trying to shut him up.
By: dazzledtodeath on August 11, 2009
at 9:43 am
He did seem very much told, “Don’t say anything that isn’t on this cue card.” Sort of like how CougarCathy gave him lines to say after he jumped out the window and he picked “You better hang on Spider Monkey.”
They need to learn…never give Rob a choice of stupid things to say, let him say his own stupid things. That’s why the girls love him.
And confession time…I think I might have downloaded that last Jonas Brothers song.
By: sassysmart on August 11, 2009
at 9:14 am
Confession time part two: I might think the youngest Jonas brother (Nick?) is kind of cute.
By: JellybeanRainbow on August 11, 2009
at 9:50 am
I don’t know their names – I usually distinguish them as follows: the cute one, the funny/sensitive one, the diabetic one.
By: HeyyyBrother on August 11, 2009
at 10:05 am
I didn’t know their names until I happened upon their show on Disney.
FML
By: sassysmart on August 11, 2009
at 10:34 am
The cute one I assume you mean Joe – former flat ironer? The funny one – maybe you mean Kevin, the oldest – just got engaged (’cause they have a whole chastity thing going, so no banging all the fan girls and groupies, I guess) and the diabetic one is Nick, the youngest.
I’ve got an almost 8 year old. I am up on the JoBros, ICarly, Hannah Montana, etc.
By: milfy goodness on August 11, 2009
at 10:42 am
I have a 9 year old. I can’t figure out if I am a lunatic, or if iCarly really is funny. It makes me giggle…
By: lapushbaby on August 11, 2009
at 11:24 am
No, I find iCarly funny too. The brother cracks me up and Sam with her love of food…ah, good times.
By: sassysmart on August 11, 2009
at 1:04 pm
@sassysmart: I TOTALLY enjoy iCarly too. It’s a guilty pleasure. The brother is pretty hilarious (and kinda adorable). Wow… I’m a disgrace to all 25 yr old women everywhere.
By: HeyyyBrother on August 11, 2009
at 3:34 pm
OMG, I watch Icarly too! My toddler got me into it….now my DH even watches it! Heck he even tapes it so he doesn’t miss an episode! How sad is that? LOL
By: southernbelle on August 11, 2009
at 5:01 pm
i refer to them as the ugly one, the cute one, the talented one (nasally singing aside) and the bonus jonas. apparently the attractiveness genes in the jonas family trickle down….and stop at nick (poor frankie).
By: 2far2care on August 11, 2009
at 12:31 pm
You are not alone. Nick Jonas is adorable. I hate the way he sings through his nose, but he’s still cute.
M
PS – The only time I’ve ever listened to a JoBros song is on an awards show so I’m not a closet JoBros fan. Trust.
By: myria101 on August 11, 2009
at 11:53 am
you’re all dead to me
😉
By: themoonisdown on August 11, 2009
at 6:24 pm
I, too, swtiched back anf forth, cringing every time I had to watch a few minutes of the show. Thank you for watching and reporting, ladies!
Did anyone else notice how creepy Zack Efron (sp?) looked? With his hair styled like Rob’s and the plaid shirt and jeans a la Remember Me?
It was like Single White Female… or Single White Rob. Terrifying.
By: Katie S on August 11, 2009
at 9:22 am
I think it’s sad, how hard Zac Efron is trying to look like Rob. So obvious. Doesn’t work.
By: dazzledtodeath on August 11, 2009
at 9:44 am
Zac’s cute but he’s he still kind of looks like a boy. Rob on the other hand looks like a man! *swoon*
By: southernbelle on August 11, 2009
at 9:52 am
Zac’s kind of cute but he still looks like a boy, to me at least. Rob on the other hand looks like a man….a very good looking man! *swoon*
By: southernbelle on August 11, 2009
at 9:55 am
Uggh….comp acting up again, sorry for the double comment.
By: southernbelle on August 11, 2009
at 9:56 am
I like your double comments. 🙂 Twice as nice, bb!
By: Katie S on August 11, 2009
at 10:26 am
Totally agree – he’s far too “pretty” to pull off the scruffy look. Also, it helps to be able to grow some facial hair, and I just don’t think he has the testosterone in him to accomplish that.
By: HeyyyBrother on August 11, 2009
at 10:08 am
Ha! True. I wonder if Disney slips estrogen in their water supplies. That way even their male stars look soft and pretty for many years to come. Very creepy.
By: Katie S on August 11, 2009
at 10:28 am
re; Zac
Is it me or does he look like a “bobble head”?
I took a look at those old GQ photos …. and then up at the screen.
Its like his body is small than his head.
xh
By: Hermes on August 11, 2009
at 6:48 pm
I noticed when during his acceptance, he ran his hand through his own hair and it stayed all messy and stand-upidy like Rob’s. Zac’s known for his trademark man bangs, so that’s a pretty suspicious change…
By: sft on August 11, 2009
at 10:03 am
Rob called me a hottie! WIN!
You mentioned the toe thumbs! Double win!
By: Jena on August 11, 2009
at 9:30 am
I DIED when I read the whole ‘toe thumbs’ shiz!!!! LMAO That definitely is a WIN!!! 😀
By: krazykidd on August 11, 2009
at 10:32 am
i try to spread the toe thumbs message anyway i can!! take that boys! she’s NOT perfect! thank god!
By: themoonisdown on August 11, 2009
at 6:26 pm
I didn’t see that! Now I wanna see it!
By: southernbelle on August 11, 2009
at 8:00 pm
Can I just say that I’m pissed we only got one audience shot of Rob and that was when Selena Gomez won her award. However, there was one moment when you can see Rob, Catherine and Kellen on the couch during Miley’s performance and the look on their faces is pure priceless. It’s almost like they’re trying to be polite and not throw up.
I’ll have all media show coverage up in the forum video section tonight.
By: Jena on August 11, 2009
at 9:38 am
“It’s almost like they’re trying to be polite and not throw up.”
Hahahahah! TRUTH!
I muted it at that point and turned away to bleach my eyeballs, so I missed their faces. Pictures anyone?
By: Katie S on August 11, 2009
at 9:50 am
Miley Cyrus + trailer + mini stripper pole = vom in mouth
By: rpgirl27 on August 11, 2009
at 10:15 am
ironic how she gave britney spears the award…she’s a couple of cocktails and a pantiless photo away from being britney
By: 2far2care on August 11, 2009
at 10:42 am
LMAO! So true!
By: Jena on August 11, 2009
at 11:12 am
Don’t forget the see through bra she was sporting. AND that her DAD was in the audience witnessing his daughter dance on the mini-stripper pole. Poor Billy Ray.
Shooooot, you know he only sees dollar signs when she’s performing.
M
By: myria101 on August 11, 2009
at 11:56 am
he probably choreographed the routine. stripper pole + slutty daughter=new house for billy ray
By: 2far2care on August 11, 2009
at 12:43 pm
dont tell his heart, his akey breaky heart, i just dont think it’ll understand.
HOOLLLAAA billy ray!
By: themoonisdown on August 11, 2009
at 6:27 pm
Can I just say that the Black Eyed Peas were AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I ♥ them so much I want them to come play my backyard!
By: Jena on August 11, 2009
at 9:41 am
yeah except for the fact one of the dudes thanked the autotrack when accepting his award.
By: tiffany on August 11, 2009
at 1:56 pm
Was Rob dancing to the BEP?
By: summergirl on August 11, 2009
at 4:08 pm
Someone said on twitter that the whole cast was on their feet during
BEP, but when I watched they were all sitting.
By: Jena on August 11, 2009
at 4:31 pm
There is nothing, not even Rob, that can make me sit through that torture again. But hey, when Rob mounted up on that surfboard for a minute, everything was right in the world again.
By: Amber on August 11, 2009
at 9:43 am
I didn’t have the strength to actually watch this mess. I did, however, watch a ton of vids yesterday and I gotta say, I think I may be tiring of it all. I never thought those words would leave my lips (or in this case my fingertips) but I’m Twilighted…or is it Twilit?…out!
By: ItsLauraHoney on August 11, 2009
at 9:55 am
You should probably sit back, relax, and give yourself a Twibreak. Maybe look at The Tuck? That might cleanse your brain.
By: Katie S on August 11, 2009
at 10:30 am
hahahahahaha: here you go: https://letterstorob.wordpress.com/2009/04/01/the-tuck/
By: unintendedchoice on August 11, 2009
at 10:52 am
O M R. LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! luv the “tuck”
By: Tesha Cullen on October 3, 2009
at 9:30 pm
It wasn’t that bad, there was Rob, and Kristen in a nice dress, there were glimpses of Kellan and Jackson laughing in the public, there were drunktweets from LTR/LTT girls, and there was Rob.
By: JellybeanRainbow on August 11, 2009
at 9:56 am
I think I had more fun blogging about the lack of fun-ness on the TCAs than I did watching it. It SERIOUSLY fell short of my much needed Twilight fix, and I’d been anticipating this for weeks!
Among my many observations for the night, Megan Fox looked super vampirific next to Rob. I think she was subliminally lobbying for an Eclipse role.
By: sft on August 11, 2009
at 9:59 am
Ugh, I hate myself for it but I sat through these last night… I was hoping for just a liiiittle more screen time for Rob. Honestly though, I went back and forth between squees of delight when seeing him, rage for all things Miley/Jonas/Efron/etc, and pity for the poor people like Rob who are normal and forced to sit through that garbage.
Best part of the night: Rob’s awkward juggling of the surfboards. Seriously, why did they let him hold those? And why surfboards? What does one do with such an atrocity?
Oh also, HOLY TOE THUMBS! That’s news to me. I don’t even know what to say about that. In my brain, Rob wasn’t at all interested in her and her flirty ways which made me VERY happy.
By: HeyyyBrother on August 11, 2009
at 10:00 am
those toe thumbs are s-i-c-k-n-a-s-t
i have a friend with toe thumbs.. but they are NOTHING like that!
and only Moon would know about the toe thumbs!
By: unintendedchoice on August 11, 2009
at 10:53 am
Ok so I could totally tell he was lying…what a load of Mac n Cheese!!! I wonder who put him up to it…anyway so was it me or was he all kindsa handsy with Megan Fox…and did Hughe Jackman not look like he was falling in love??? Swear I thought he looked like he was sprotin a woody when Rob was talkin’ LMAO Probably thinking ‘man that Twilight guy IS really hot!’ 😀
By: krazykidd on August 11, 2009
at 10:29 am
“and did Hughe Jackman not look like he was falling in love???”
Thats halarious! I said the same thing to my sister when I saw that part! The grin on jackman’s face was effing priceless. He looked like a fangirl. I love it so much.
By: Katie S on August 11, 2009
at 10:32 am
Yea you would think someone told him that he was starring in another musical by the way he was looking at him…he totally fangirled out!!! It was effing awesome!!!
By: krazykidd on August 11, 2009
at 10:50 am
remember rob and hugh had their “moment” singing karoake back in tokyo last winter … maybe they shared more than singing?
By: movingtoforks on August 11, 2009
at 7:48 pm
OK – so I’m not going to re-watch the TCAs, but it wasn’t all that bad, esp if you watched on a TiVo. I liked all the musical act, except maybe Miley, who kinda freaked me out with the sexy girl routine. Isn’t she, like 16 years old? Is it legal to let your daughter dance on a pole on TV in short shorts?
But my biggest gripe – insufficient Rob time!!!!! One audience shot (when Selena got her award?!) and two surfboard fondles with canned but poorly executed speeches is not enough!!
By: milfy goodness on August 11, 2009
at 10:47 am
Just wanted to share that last night, after my dutiful husband watched part of the TCAs with me, he said, “Honestly, babe…he looks like he kinda smells.” To which I replied, “He does. Robert Pattinson smells like cigarettes and rainbows.” Luckily, he found that funny, and my Robsession can continue a bit longer without sending me to a marriage counselor.
By: Sarah S on August 11, 2009
at 10:50 am
haha.. ‘rainbows’
LOVE IT!
By: unintendedchoice on August 11, 2009
at 10:53 am
Like Skittles, I’d like to taste that rainbow!
By: Jena on August 11, 2009
at 11:14 am
“Frenemies” reference?
By: Katie S on August 11, 2009
at 11:30 am
Haha!
my hubby only watched a few minutes….long enough to make fun of me and tell me that he’d like to grab Ashley Greene’s ‘jubbliees’
By: rpgirl27 on August 11, 2009
at 11:39 am
Took me exactly 4 beers to watch this shizz, but at least I got my fan points!
By: Janetrigs on August 11, 2009
at 11:12 am
Does Nikki spray tan or is she just naturally that dark?
By: Jena on August 11, 2009
at 11:15 am
the TCAs were the nexus of my inappropriately-aged-hottie universe. i may or may not have gotten myself arrested had i been there.
By: 2far2care on August 11, 2009
at 11:17 am
So, I DVRed the show so I could cut through all the horrible bits. It didn’t help much. It was still all kinds of embarrassing.
Not to mention I was trying to be all stealth about it while my husband was on the computer in the other room. I managed to fast forward through the majority of the the show, when my man decided to join me in the living room. I have never tried to turn the channel so fast in my life. He instantly knew somethin’ was up and accused me of watching porn. (ha, if he only knew) Porn would have been better. I could have explained porn. I spent the rest of the night, watching Mythbusters reruns with him, wearing my shame face. I felt dirty. Not to mention, he kept turning it back on and pausing it when Rob was on the screen so he could make fun of me. Fucker. I never got to see any of the bits I was waiting for. It was all completely in vain!
By: raven on August 11, 2009
at 11:18 am
@ Raven LMAO!!
what a great post!
Husbands and lovers, should be told that they’re benefiting by the Robsessionsexual fantasies.
I betcha your man would proactively go out and find as many Rob porn pics for you as possible. He would be downloading rob porn pics day and night… just to feed your habit and so that he could benefit!
Good post. thanks for that.
xH
By: Hermes on August 11, 2009
at 7:03 pm
I did not watch the teenybopper choice awards, but can I just say that Kellan looked hot! I usually don’t notice him too much with Rob around.
Thanks for the recap it saved me lots of time and 2nd hand embarrasment.
Is it just me or did Rob have some major unibrow going on? I love him, but time to pluck babe! I do love me some scraggly Beardward though!
By: Jaybird on August 11, 2009
at 11:22 am
I missed the show, too,but the recaps are great! I did see a clip of Miley’s “dance” on E later, though and was thinking wtf? And my little girl came in and asked why they were making a thing about her dance, and I told her it was because her skirt was too short…..I’m the kind of mom that gives out info on a “need to know” basis, and decided my 9 year old doesn’t need to know the details of stripping…..
Oh, and Rob looked hot.
And why did Ashley wear such a complicated dress? She is so pretty, she should just wear something simple, like a paper sack, to play up her beauty. Seriously, Tim Gunn would say that dress was too “overworked.”
By: lapushbaby on August 11, 2009
at 11:31 am
He’s so arkward, I love it.
So yeah, I stayed up untill 3am to watch the live feed in the UK. It was totally worth it 🙂
“The hottest hotties are the twilight fans.” Haha, and then the little air punch. 🙂
By: Redgie on August 11, 2009
at 11:46 am
Okay. Stop. Hold the presses. I could barely read through the end of this post and I definitely did not read any comments.
because.
Am I the only one who just stared, mesmerized at Rob’s hands holding the surfboard? Because honestly, my brain short-circuited at that picture. OhaiRobsfingers.
By: Mary on August 11, 2009
at 11:48 am
No you’re not the only one :-). I was awestruck by his long fingers as well while he clutched onto that surfboard…actually he looked like he was protecting himself from Megan Fox :-).
By: southernbelle on August 11, 2009
at 12:50 pm
I thought he was having a Waynes World moment, trying to hide some schwing beneath the board!
By: Jessica on August 11, 2009
at 1:12 pm
The surfporn did it for me too. Long fingers holding a long hard object can be very sexy…And only Rob would hold the board horizontally… I kept thinking he wanted to hold it with BOTH hands, so he wouldn’t have to touch anyone else on the way out… maybe he got hives from MF on the way up!
By: SesannE on August 11, 2009
at 6:24 pm
LMAO toe thumbs oh I’m so glad I didn’t see those! TCA was horrible I couldn’t stand Miley Cyrus before well yesterday made me wish the girl/slut would fall off the face of the earth *grrrr* ok back to Rob yep still sexy still aloof *sigh* Jackson was looking hella sexy too ,Kellan too hmmm they should do a calendar of the Cullen men SHIRTLESS (ok we know we want more but it’s a start lol 😉 ok rambling
By: LunaStarz on August 11, 2009
at 11:48 am
Well, I didn’t see TCA cos I live in London but loved all your funny posts & Moon’s blog. The pic captioned “Yup, still there” looks like Rob just scratched his head & re-discovered a nice big scab – save that one to pick in the limo, Rob. Or get Kristen 2 pick it for you – what’s a (girl) friend for, if not for grooming you? The shi**us Nikes must be welded to his feet, I think. Anyway, roll on November & New Moon.
By: Emma C on August 11, 2009
at 12:03 pm
I have no doubt the answer was rehearsed.. but I do believe that he is not comfortable accepting awards for these types of categories… I don’t know.. I’m not trying to be all moral or anything but these were just lame and really they don’t need to do it again.. it’s not really even set for teens it’s like “just teens” 13 yr olds and below… no respectable teenager would watch something this horrific.
OK that said.. He looks great.. I loved seeing him… I love the pics that came out of it… Megan Fox may have reached her peak by saying the smartest thing she might ever say “I’m gonna shut up now so you can look at Robert Pattinson”
He was believable to the teens.. and well I guess that’s what matters right..
I think I’m just kicking myself for watching this show sober… would have been so much more fun if the Captain and Ginger had made an appearance with some lime 🙂
I think we need a game plan when these things arise… form small groups to watch together…
Maybe we should just avoid watching and catch the highlights on You Tube the next day 🙂
By: Kelly on August 11, 2009
at 12:06 pm
” no respectable teenager would watch something this horrific.”
just what I was thinking the whole time I was watching it….I never watched this crap when I was a teen…I was out doing angsty, naughty teen things
oh the things I do just to glimpse Rob on tv…
Megan Fox may have reached her peak by saying the smartest thing she might ever say “I’m gonna shut up now so you can look at Robert Pattinson”
that was an unexpectedley smart comment from miss Fox…I don’t understand her appeal, but then, I don’t have a dick so….
I just think she’d be a lot hotter if she pealed off at least 8 layers of that trannie makeup she wears
By: rpgirl27 on August 11, 2009
at 1:32 pm
Can you imagine how good looking those kids would be if Rob and Megan ever procreated? Haha, Rob’s speech was so awkward, but so adorable. Kellan was just like, “Let’s see how you handle this one, Rob.” And Hugh loved it. Heh. I can’t wait to see them in Unbound Captives.
By: Rachel on August 11, 2009
at 12:10 pm
“Can you imagine how good looking those kids would be if Rob and Megan ever procreated?”
I was thinking the same thing when I saw Rob and Megan with their arms around eachother.
Then I pictured Rob seeing her thumbs for the first time, cringing, and then running (as much as Rob can run) to me.
…It could happen!
By: Katie S on August 11, 2009
at 2:47 pm
Forget about what the kids’ faces would look like… what would their HANDS look like? Rob’s spindly fingers meets Meg’s toe thumbs? I don’t think the world needs to know, quite frankly.
Disclaimer: I totally like Rob hands, but you cannot deny their spindly-ness!
By: HeyyyBrother on August 11, 2009
at 4:00 pm
Hahaha. His hands are probably like that because he has played piano since he was little. I have the same spindly-looking fingers, I’m a piano player too. I play guitar too but I suck at it.
I don’t like chubby hands and fingers…I find long fingers and slim hands to be very alluring (not because mine are like that ok). LOL.
By: southernbelle on August 11, 2009
at 8:05 pm
The pic where it looks like Rob has a phone to his ear is hilarious. Catherine, Kristen and Nikki look like the Cougar Mama and the two smitten kittens swooning over Rob. Ashley is like, meh, not so much. LOL I so wish Rob would start dating Ashley.
By: Sarah on August 11, 2009
at 12:22 pm
Cougar Mama & two smitten kittens = WIN!! LOL, you are so right, just look at them, there are practically little hearts coming out of their eyeballs!
By: MacyBlair on August 11, 2009
at 9:14 pm
“Delivered in perfect awkwardness off the script Stephanie and Manager Nick whipped up in the limo. Good job!”
My thoughts exactly. Poor guy…I felt embarassed for him.
By: Jessa on August 11, 2009
at 12:26 pm
I too can’t believe I actually watched the TCA’s.
Oh, the things I will do for Rob! It was lame, it was practically torture. And I agree, Rob didn’t seem to thrilled to be there.
JoBros lame fake dares, Miley upping her skank factor…and what was with the clams? *shudders*
By: jtwilightaddict on August 11, 2009
at 12:27 pm
I can barely look at him holding the surfboard, its just wrong on so many levels altho the akward smile stopped me breathing. was that absolutely necessary.hes 23 for gods sake. what is anyone gonna do with a surf board especially our Rob and its not going to fit in the porsche!!!!!
What a load of crap the TCAs!
you do some awesome work.. thanks moon
By: Im Going Down on August 11, 2009
at 1:04 pm
thank god, where i live there is no Fox so i didn’t have to watch the show—the vids and website commentary have filled in the picture nicely (& hilariously)—clearly we’re better than the pros & a lot funnier—
golden emasculated male statuettes at one spectacle—buckets of golden popcorn that falls off when dropped at another—but award shows that distribute surfboards should probably be prohibited by law—
By: expat on August 11, 2009
at 1:07 pm
Cannot BELIEVE I’ve resorted to watching the TCA just to get a glimpse of Rob. Everything about it was painful (xcept for the black eyed peas performance-they totes rocked it) for me.
Anyhoo, I have to get this off my chest. I Read a seat filler’s account of the TCA, and all I have to say is this: ROBSTEN LIVES. It does. Its over. Beef Stew gets the guy, we all go home. Srsly, the part where he tells Tay to “MOVE” to me just screams “I know were sposed to be not sitting together cause the whole worlds, but dammit, I’m tired of tryin to talkin over Taylor’s face.”
There. I said it. Now I need a beer.
By: la vie est belle on August 11, 2009
at 1:20 pm
what seatfiller account? where? need to read it!
By: movingtoforks on August 11, 2009
at 7:55 pm
here it is:
http://www.newmoonmovie.org/2009/08/seat-filler-at-teen-choice-awards-gives-detailed-account-of-night-of-twilight-stars/
Judge for yourself, but it seemed obvious to me after reading…just too many little things….*raises white flag* I give up. Robsten it is, but i dont have to be happy about it.
By: la vie est belle on August 11, 2009
at 9:07 pm
this is actually a better link:
http://www.twifans.com/profiles/blogs/my-experience-at-the-teen
By: la vie est belle on August 11, 2009
at 9:17 pm
Just noticed…and trust me, it’s very hard to see anything but Rob…but in the “cell phone” pic…it looks like Kellan is totally trying to catch a glimpse of boob. He’s not particular, any will do.
By: Sarah S on August 11, 2009
at 1:23 pm
I think Rob should take a public speech training – he always embarrasses me with his off the peg, careless word throw. He has confused the whole team, they don’t know how to present themselves anymore. what happened to his English manners? (am English by the way)
I know he is smokin’ hot whatever he dawns but please! get yourself a clean shirt that doesn’t smell of sweat! you’re a celebrity not a damn compost pit! Get someone to style you up or get some one to send you some Marks & Spencer or something.. (if you can’t afford American ones….)
OR just quit the job and become homeless.
No wonder Hugh jackmann seemed so entertained – the saddest is that he is still adorable even with the thousand flaws.
@Rachel – I’d never pair him with Megan Fox – she looks like a control freak, she would put him in a washing machine before sex – believe me….
By: Marie on August 11, 2009
at 1:24 pm
“…she would put him in a washing machine before sex…” classic.
x
By: Cazza on August 11, 2009
at 1:40 pm
Ah Maria
so well put.
“put him in a washing machine before sex” …… I had to stifle my laughter at that one.
I’m all for borrowing your friends clothes if the need takes you … but give ’em a wash first for cying out loud … not still damp and sweaty from their back the evening before.
By: English Girl on August 11, 2009
at 4:15 pm
No! I like no-style Rob. That’s part of his charm. I don’t want him turned into a Zack Efron clone.
By: toooldforthis on August 11, 2009
at 6:04 pm
I have to comment on the Surfboard thingy.
British guys and surfboards.. do not mix. Especially this British boy, who’s gone on record that he hates sports, any and all sports (except apparently drinking sports).
He looked at his surfboard like “WTF”…
and is probably trying to figure out how he can turn it into a table to hold his liquor.
xH
By: Hermes on August 11, 2009
at 1:41 pm
Agreed.
& thanks! this reply literally made me laugh out loud =]
By: KatOfDiamonds on August 11, 2009
at 5:39 pm
Hermes -LMAO, yep he probably was looking at his surfboard and trying to figure out how he can turn it into a table to hold his liquor…..
that’s our adorkable Brit-boy Rob !!!!!
By: Lynda from philly on August 11, 2009
at 9:18 pm
The only thing that got me through that show was moons sarcasm. Her tweets got me through most of it. To be honest I couldn’t even watch the last half hour I almost missed the twi part.
Best parts: miley saying thank you god my father for putting me on this stage (and setting up my stripper pole).
Megan Fox stopping Rob b4 they go on stage to tell
Him he gonna have to basically carry her up the stairs because of her crazy ass shoes. (he’s a gentlemen)
The fact that they cut to Corbin Bleu 29 times during the show but cut to Rob once.
People who actually had real acceptance speaches and were legitamitly honoured that they won. (ahem ashley Greene, salema gomez)
All in all I regret that I will never get those two hours of my life back again.
Literally the worst show since last years vmas ala russel brand
By: tiffany on August 11, 2009
at 2:09 pm
The TCA were painful to watch but seeing Rob straddle the surfboard during the acceptance speech of all the Twilight awards, made it all worth it! Gah!
By: addictedtorob on August 11, 2009
at 2:40 pm
Moon! I am actually a little disappointed because neither TCA posts on LTR or LTT have a 2nd hand embarrassing screen shot of the chick in the white dress and her “i heart rob” poster that the camera man had to find… [acceptance speech video 1:18]
By: KatOfDiamonds on August 11, 2009
at 5:35 pm
uh oh….. moon’s gonna have hurt feelings…. that was her…
By: unintendedchoice on August 11, 2009
at 5:38 pm
jk
I NEED TO SEE THAT
By: unintendedchoice on August 11, 2009
at 5:38 pm
WHAT?! i didnt see it!!!
By: themoonisdown on August 11, 2009
at 6:33 pm
Here I captured it for you =]
http://twitpic.com/djz6z
By: KatOfDiamonds on August 11, 2009
at 7:40 pm
I was going to start off with how much Megan Fox disgust me but I’ll start with Mr.Zach Effron!
At first, during the whol ‘High School Musical Mania’ crap I didnt really care and didnt really like him. Then I was forced to watch 17 Again about four times on a 9 hour flight to this summer and I thought,…ok so maybe I’m just a crazzy black girl and Zach Effron is actualy ok…
And THEN,…
I watched the Teen choice Awards for the man of our lifes, Robert Pattinson and I saw Mr.Effron at the awards shoe and nearly laughed my ass of with annoyance, anger, and amusement.
NOTE* To ALL Male Celebs. THERE IS ONLY ONE ROBERT THOMAS PATTINSON. So dont go trying to shit up your hair and where casual beach going shirts and running your hairs randomly in your hair because its just going to make you look like a copy cat, idiot dip shit. Thank you and good night.
Now that, thats over.
Its Megan Fox Time!
I just have to put this out there,…When Rob and Megan Fox were next to each other for both winning the Hottie award my eye started twitching anc I wanted to throw Megan Fox off stage. On a brighter note, Rob looked so cute with the surf board.
:))
By: Chantel on August 11, 2009
at 6:35 pm