Posted by: Bekah | August 24, 2009

What if Rob wasn’t famous: the Wedding crasher edition

robweddingcrasher

Dress shirt. Check. Loose Tie. Check. Dancing Shoes. Check. Bridesmaids here I come.

Dear Rob,

This weekend I was thinking about you or, I should say, the lack of you we’ve had this past week. My mind started wandering to thoughts of my life if you weren’t in it. What would I do? Who would I talk to? How would I get myself out of bed each morning? Then I remembered you aren’t actually in my life (and that’s the reason why this morning’s letter is being penned from the comfort of my bed- I’m not getting out.)

But, seriously, what if you weren’t famous? What if you weren’t “in” my life? What if you were just a regular, ol’ joe schmo, run-of-the-mill, average, every-day, ordinary very attractive British guy? We’ve explored the myspace profile you’d be sure to have if you still lived with Claire & Dick, and I took a guess as to what your life might be like as the “Nacho-Man” at a tropical resort, but what if you surprised us all, and instead of being the star of a few $10,000 budget films & the lead in a sub-par movie version of an amazing book, you were, as your picture shown here suggests, a wedding crasher?

I think there are few non-negotiable qualities of a successful wedding crasher, and I’m pretty sure they all apply to you. Such as: Be very attractive (I don’t have to convince anyone that you’ve got this down); Be the ‘life of the party’ (aka: Drunk Rob. You at your best); Be a fast-thinking, smooth talker (Whoops- okay, in your case we’re just gonna say that you being the ‘life of the party’ (aka Drunk Rob) is why the father of the bride, after he asks how you know the couple, doesn’t question you when you say you’re the “father of the bride’s, only brother’s, nephew” and instead laughs, smacks your ass and tells you you’re funny and sends you on your way). I know, I know. You’re a young, hot guy and weddings are full of hormonal, single gals looking to catch the bouquet and snatch up a man and tie him down, but I can’t help but notice that the very essence of a wedding seems like such a fit for you. You’d be the perfect wedding crasher.

Seriously, Rob. Just picture this: You’re alter ego is Paul Johnson, podiatrist. You hit 5-8 weddings a month and….

  • You get to bang bridesmaids
  • You eat free food and all the little miniature wiener dogs your heart desires
  • You drink never-ending free booze. No need to drink cheap beer when Grey Goose is free flowing.
  • You sing a tune or two- the band always takes a break mid-evening. You jump on stage, grab the mic & try out your latest song, dedicating it to the bride. You know from experience that if no bridesmaids have revealed an interest in the banging yet, they will after you’re done.
  • You give romantic speeches. You’ve read about that guy Edward Cullen. The bride always knows about Edward. She thinks she’s marrying ‘her’ Edward, so you know how to bring the audience to tears with all the “you’re my life nows” and”So the Lion fell in love with lambs” that the crowd can handle. (Don’t forget to throw in a laugh with a “Buttcrack Santa” joke about the honeymoon for those Christmas weddings)
  • You nuzzle Nana’s bosom- and you know at that point in the night you’re feeling really good….
  • You always have easy access to all the unhappy, drunk MILFs and Cougars. They love you even if you’ve maybe had one Grey Goose too many and have scared away that bridesmaid who was so interested in talking about the names of your future children. But don’t worry- those experienced MILFs and Cougars are happy to tend to a young, hot thing since their old, not hot thing of a husband disappeared hours ago to watch the “game” in the bar down the hall.
  • And you sneer at the flower girl just for being a child. And for being in your way. And for causing you to spill your Grey Goose & tonic. And for hanging all over her Aunt Stacey, all night long, who happens to be the hottest chick in the room.
robdrunk

This is what Rob looks like when TomStu leaves him alone with a Nana

Now what is there that’s not to like? What is there that is un-Roblike? Banging hot chicks, eating free processed food, drinking free booze, singing, acting, dancing with cougars, sneering at children….. sounds like Rob to me! In fact, this sounds so much like you that I’m wondering if I didn’t make this up and you really were a wedding crasher before you got the Twilight audition. Furthermore, you and TomStu used to be seen together much more. Was he your wing man? Has the Bromance faded because he’s still trying to swing the wedding crasher lifestyle but has realized you really were his ticket to all the hot bridesmaids, MILFs and Cougars and now only the Nana’s are interested in him?

I have so many questions: Do you ever accidentally add an extra hop during the Cha-Cha-Slide? Do you sing out loud to “You shook me all night long?” What’s your favorite Daddy/Daughter dance? Is it Butterfly Kisses? Do you get the key change right during “Livin’ on a Prayer’ every time? What are you like during “Shout?” Do you go low?

All I know is Rob Pattinson, wedding crasher, has a nice ring to it, and I’d be happy to do the “Cha-Cha-Slide” with you any day….. (say it: ________________)

Slide to the left,
UnintendedChoice

Discuss bad wedding music over on The Forum
See what Moon has to brighten your Monday on LTT

Thanks to Calliope for this idea & you need to come home from Italy NOW b/c I laugh a lot less when you’re gone x

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Responses

  1. You win forever for having the Cha Cha slide in this post! And Bon Jovi!

    And even though Rob’s face is 8 shades of stupid in the second picture, I’d still grab the tie and pull him behind the dumpster…or anything that provided a modicum of coverage!

    Oink

    • That second pic-he is so ready to be dragged behind a dumpster-or under a table. Those table skirts can hide a lot.

      • i would love to see rob doin the chicken dance, or maybe a high energy bunny hop, drunk of course. and then we would make our way to the coatromm for some much needed alone time. in this case only, i think i would love to be always a bridesmaid and never a bride.

        http://www.aquiredtaste.wordpress.com

        • Or maybe the hokey pokey and turning
          himself around….cause that’s what it’s
          all about.

    • pinkdolphin- LMOA at “eight shades of stupid”…can you just picture Rob with that face being pulled by his tie?????OMG, the visual.

      • I do nightly…except it’s lust and not liquor that’s got his eyes half lidded. =)

  2. “This is what Rob looks like when TomStu leaves him alone with a Nana” O M G. He looks terrible in that pc, or is it photoshopped? LMAO
    If I think of Wedding crasher I always thik of Rachel in Friends as that bridesmade with that horrible pink dress singing Copa Cabana……Her name was Lola….

  3. Paul Johnson, podiatrist..for some reason that had me laughing harder than anything.

    If you crashed my wedding, Rob, I might never have gotten married. Screw the bridesmaids-there goes the bride..

    UC thank you for making me laugh today. All this Robsten crap has been a drag lately-I needed something like this.

    • Me too! I would have had doubts getting married! I would have probably ran away with him! LOL

  4. Morning all!

    I can’t believe that I just watched all 3 mins and 53 seconds of the cha cha slide video….

    One question for Rob though:

    “How low can you go, can you go down low? All the way to the floor? Can you bring it to the top? Like you never never stop”.

    Another fabulous and funny posting to start the week off with….

    x

  5. I would pay money to see Rob do the Cha-Cha Slide – total win!!

    Just imagining him cha-cha real slow, moving those him… does a thing to a girls imagination.

    • yup monday morning alright typo… I mean to say “moving those hips” not moving those him… ugh

  6. Maybe this counts as a buzz kill, but I have to disagree. Rob would not make a good wedding crasher.

    I base this assertion on experience, as there were 4 crashers at my wedding. And despite any other factors that might qualify Rob for the job, he has one personality trait that would prevent him from ever successfully crashing a wedding: he is shy.

    The 4 crashers at my wedding were the most bizarrely outgoing people ever. One of the women (it was 2 men and 2 women) actually danced with my dad! And all 4 made an effort to be on the wedding video and congratulate us. And during one of those songs where people inexplicably form a giant circle and stand around and clap, waiting for people to “solo” in the center, one of the crasher women was the first person to dance into the middle by herself!

    Anyway – when my brand new husband and I had the inevitable conversation “isn’t that some skany relative of yours?” “no, I thought they were your skanky family”, he kicked them out. And he got so riled up that he tried to kick out the band, too (they were on a break and drinking at the bar, he didn’t recognize them . . .). We didn’t laugh about it that night, but it has since become one of our favorite stories about our wedding!

    But back to the point: Rob. Rob would make a much better random plus one. He could easily be the date for your girlfriend who is one of the only single girls invited to the wedding and who begged for a plus one so she doesn’t have to come alone. Imagine if Rob showed up as the guy who your girlfriend met three nights earlier at a bar and asked to the wedding. That is very easy for me to picture. In fact, Rob might even have accepted the invite thinking he was the one getting married. (you know how he used to ask girls to marry him all the time – now he knows better – he’d be hitched before he could say “I do”)

  7. I love me some drunk Rob, and erm I don’t think he looks terrible in the second pic, I think he just looks do-able… Ha ha, my cousin and his mate look like a couple of movie stars (although in reality were a pair of skint buyers for Harvey Nicholls) A few years ago they managed to gatecrash Ertha Kitts birthday party!!!!! I could definitely imagine Rob in this sort of scenario. (But doing the cha cha slide mmmmm, maybe not!) He’d end up tripping over his own feet!!!

  8. “Do you ever accidentally add an extra hop during the Cha-Cha-Slide?” Hahahaha

    Should I be worried that I can perfectly picture him doing this.

    Ohh and Rob… come crash some Belgian weddings. No Cha-cha-slide unfortunately, but we always have “I’m into folk”. You and TomStu ‘d fit right in. (forward until 1:30)

    • Argh stupid video embedding! sryyyy

  9. I reckon he looks more like a young Vodaphone executive at a conference afterparty. not quite doucheRob but close. You just know he’d be talking to your cleavage and try to bum ciggies, maybe even get you to buy him a drink. Then when you got all excited and dragged him behind the dumpster for some educational exchange, he’d pass out leaning on the wall with his fly unbuttoned and a half smoked Marlboro hanging off his lower lip.

    • DYING. Brilliant!

      • ROTFLMAO!

      • heh, high praise indeed from the Queen of Funny herself 😉

  10. I hope to God if I ever meet Rob he’s as drunk as he is in that last pic.

  11. Cha Cha now y’all!

    I bet Rob can’t dance. He would so do the Elaine thumb dance on the floor as Drunk Rob.

    • Elaine thumb dance!!!!! hahahaha He would rock that dance for sure! Thanks for that laugh on a moody monday!

  12. Ok, so I have a question. A serious question. You have to listen to me very carefully.

    ..

    How the HELL do you guys manage to come up with such amazingly brilliant posts every damn day? It blows my mind. Today’s especially was bloody fantastic.

    Thank you.

    In other news, I’ve never seen the second picture before. Pretty hilarious!

    • To write brilliant posts: Tears, Prayer and lots of vodka.

      No seriously…. there’s no way we’d be able to write each day if we didn’t have amazing readers & now all these amazing gals (and a few unicorns) as real-life friends who inspire us. Seriously, I’m not saying that to butter you up (but can I borrow 5 bucks?) We get a TON of inspiration from convos going on in the comments, on the forum or ideas from conversations throughout the day with LTT/LTR pals turned real-life friends!

      HUGS

  13. DId you mention both the Cha-Cha Slide AND Butterfly Kisses in the same post?

    You did.

    Will you marry me? I love you.

    p.s. 50 bucks says that Rob’s never done any of the slides…Cha-Cha, Electric, etc. We will teach him. Oh yes, we will. And then laugh when he does it while drunky. The end.

  14. I’m sure DrunkRob likes to fake spank Nana during his favorite line of the ChaChaSlide: Hands on your knees! Hands on your knees!

    Hilarious, UC.

  15. Really UC, the genius is overflowing in this post!

    Nanna
    Cha-Cha slide…..let me hear you clap your hands!
    Miniature wieners
    Toasting the Bride and Groom w/Buttcrack Santa
    Tom Stu as the wingman

    and the best of all……Butterfly Kisses!!!

    OMG

    I. am. died.

    Amazeballs!

    Happy Monday Ladies!!!

  16. I love this. Everything about this. I would elbow every damn bridesmaid in the face to be the one to hold his hips during the conga line that he would inevitably start.

    • inevitably!

    • I’d like to conga him right behind a dumpster.

      • HAHA. Now THAT conga line is going to be the longest one I’ve ever seen… But watch out, I warned you that I was throwing elbows.

  17. “I have so many questions: Do you ever accidentally add an extra hop during the Cha-Cha-Slide? Do you sing out loud to “You shook me all night long?” What’s your favorite Daddy/Daughter dance? Is it Butterfly Kisses? Do you get the key change right during “Livin’ on a Prayer’ every time? What are you like during “Shout?” Do you go low?”

    I love all of this, but my fave is “Do you go low?” Which I have to admit, the first time I read that I thought you said “Do you glo?” True story.

    • Of course he Glo’s. Why? Cause he digs a thrift store and with J.Lo. love don’t cost a thing, she’s real and knows that he shouldn’t be fooled by the rocks that she’s got, she’s still, she’s still Jenny from the block.

      True Story.

  18. jajajajajajajajajajajajajajajaja

    This is an amazing post!!!

    jajajajajajajaja

    I can’t imagine him doing the cha cha… it’s too funny to imagine… thank you for making this a good monday girls!!!!

    jajajajajajajajjaajja

  19. Yes!
    Rob Pattinson and Tom Sturridge starring in ‘Wedding Crashers 2’, coming soon to a theater near you.
    Make it happen Summit!

    • Hahahaha! Where they teach bridesmaids all across America the joys of snogging, while demanding bottles of crappy Dutch beer and singing Tub-thumpin’ at the top of their voices.

      Cinematic idea WIN!

  20. This is every guys dream. That would be lots of fun. A good time for all http://bobbygee.wordpress.com/

  21. Rob’s feet are too gimpy to do the cha-cha slide. However I could totally see him doing The Bird or the Humpy Dance.

    • The visual of Rob doing the Humpty Dance made my heart seize up. That’s just so wrong 🙂

  22. Um… I played a fill-in-the blank game today. why has no one filled in the blank yet?

    • I meant to…

      “THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID.”

      • Thanks for that bc I totes didn’t get it. I actually thought ‘vampire?’. Ha!

      • Thank you. You win a fake prize: You get the dance the last slow dance of the evening (“the way you look tonight”, duh) with Paul Johnson, podiatrist.

        • HOT DAMN. Let it be known that I WILL remind you of this “fake” prize when you, Moon, and Rob are bff’s. Never forget that you promised this lady a dance with a drunk, sweaty, uncoordinated and probably incoherent Rob. I’ll try my best to behave, but I can’t promise that I won’t have wandering hands at the time of said dance…

    • My thought was “HIT IT”

  23. Sooooo funny these make my day!

  24. TOTAL DRUNK ROB SCORE!! God Bless you!

    • I’m second on that Drunk Rob pic. God that was funny!!! Never seen that one b4. LOVE DRUNK ROB.

      Re weddings. i could totally see Robbie bellying up to the bar, his ankle chained to his bar stool, tossing back vodka tonics and laughing at the dancers with TomStu. -And then when their drunk enough, he and TomStu would do the booty poppin on the dance floor thang- whoowhoo.

      • I should clarify.. it would be booty poppin white guy british style.. which may be just a tad different. on the other hand.. if you drink enough vodka tonics.. you never know. .

  25. Perfect timing for this post..

    My sister got married on Saturday. And we happened to have two wedding crashers at the dance. Sadly they were not hot young british men.. They were too sixty-or-so-year-old women, which tried to pick up my uncle as well as my 25 year old brother. It was hiliarious.. but not hot, at all. I wish Rob had crashed the wedding, it would have been superbly awesome.

    Also, just thought I’d mention, the bride/daddy song was I Loved Her First by Heartland.. My sis and Dad cried the entireeee song while hugging/dancing, and since I was sitting three feet I bauled like a baby the wholee time.. I wish Rob had been there to comfort me.. *sigh*

  26. OMG funniest post eva!!! I swear I say this all the time but I really mean it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Pics are soooooo funny but my fave bit…..

    “Do you go low?”

    Hell yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *poof*

  27. “Bridesmaids here I come” Funny, Funny, Funny!

    I needed a laugh for Monday morning!

    Thank you!

  28. Dear Rob,

    Where were you on August 30th, 2003?!? I was waiting for you to crash my wedding so I could run away WITH you…Screw the Cha-Cha Slide, the Chiken Dance and the Stevie Wonder Step Dance…I want to do the horizontal LIMBO with you.

    Love,
    misty
    p.s. I’m still waaaaaaitng ❤

    • Try August 3rd, 1996! Oh Crap Rob was only 10! I am so freakin’ old!

      • Rob was 16 when I got married, not much better!

        • Is it still normal that I wish he still crashed my wedding????

          • Yeah that’s normal LOL!

          • Sure, then you would have got your hands on him first, pre-KStew and pre-theCougar. Lucky you!

        • In 2005 Rob was ..what, 19? He totally should have crashed my..er..registry office ceremony. Oh why didn’t you Rob? If you had done, I would now not have to pay £300 to get a divorce (so I can marry you instead).

  29. Hey there are NEW Bella + Edward Dolls:

    http://www.newmoonmovie.org/2009/08/exclusive-edward-and-bella-in-prom-clothes-dolls-by-tonner/

    this is almost too funny!

    • I need these more than I need oxygen. They’re that wicked awesome.

      • lol, did you see the price?!?

        • Actually, I didn’t even look the first time I clicked the link. But I just did and OMF how are they trying to sell that shit for $140 EACH!!!! I could fashion better looking dolls with stuff I have lying around the house!!

          • LOL I could help and then we’d be rich!!!

    • I’m waiting for the drunk Rob doll… miniature dumpster not included

  30. Never met a wedding crasher that I know (most weddings I’ ve been to have been in remote locations in the countryside) but oh boy, would I love to crash into Rob!!
    Preferably at my own wedding, when he shows up drunk on the church porch, and I just hijack him up to the altar, before he knows what hit him…

    Seriously, though, what’ s to prevent him from combining filming with a career of wedding crashing? A man’s got to eat, right? And if he refrains from touching his hair the whole time he’s there, I bet the bridesmaids won’t even recognize him…he’ll be the handsome incognito guy who drank all the booze and fell asleep on the lap of the hottest milf in the room.

  31. So at my wedding (1/16/05), the hotel wanted like $400 each just to open bottles of liquor + the cost of the bottles themselves. Dad-in-law would not have this, so he gave a bottle to each of his friends who were flying down to bring with, and served it in coffee mugs outside the ballroom. Everyone kept talking about how good the coffee was, lol.

    So I’m picturing Rob with a coffee mug, sloshing around.

    Also, I’ll bring this up since you briefly mentioned it. I don’t think Rob hates kids. Yes, I know he said that in an interview, but I really think he meant that he doesnt want to date a seven year old, because, well, that could get awkward….what to talk about? where to go? what to tell Chris Hansen when he catches you on camera? Etc. That interview was just getting the word out that he’s all about the 21 (forget legal in Georgia or anything else, he needs you drunk) and ups.

    So, you heard it here first, ladies:

    Rob wants you to have his babies!

    Bonus FACT: My husband told me he wanted to buy me this for my birthday tomorrow, “such a shame all of our showers have doors and not curtains”.

    http://cgi.ebay.com/SHOWER-CURTAIN-Robert-Pattison-Pattinson-actor_W0QQitemZ200375929331QQcmdZViewItemQQptZShower_Curtains?hash=item2ea75609f3&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14

    UC–You need to do another post about “Things My Husband Says about Robert Pattinson”! I could write the book!

    • if my husband would just say something good i’d have some inspiration! email me your ideas!

      • *harumph* it took you a VERY long time to email me back last time (regarding the 2nd hand embarrassing REELZ Channel Twi Biggest Fans)….ok, not really…but still…but it’s ok. Let’s be besties.

        In any event, here’s one from last night.

        Hubs: (out of nowhere) So, where is he?
        Me: (of course I know who “he” is): I keep telling you, he’s in Vancouver filming. I won’t be set stalking RPattz in NYC for the foreseeable future.
        Hubs: Zees, With the amount of time you spend talking about him to me, and the amount of time I HAVE to talk about him back to you, I think it is safe to say we are on a first name basis. I think we should be calling him Rob.

        Yup, we are TOTALLY normal!

  32. hey..UC the letters section linky (that you posted above got totally hijacked by this other site) Moon’s LTT is not there anymore….

    your tech person may want to check it out.

  33. Drunk Rob = Epic Win!

    Oof, tha wazh a maaarvelloouush wedding, hic, say, can we go back to your plashe now, hic, I jush wanna try one thing.. tee hee hee, hic

    Drunk Rob would totes be a hot giggly mess

  34. UC,
    Your mind is a fascinating place! How you can spin a complete Rob conjecture out of a wedding crasher scenario is a wonderful thing. I think you’ve got it just right–Rob missed his true calling. Or maybe he could still fit it in on the side. Wedding Crasher Extraordinaire.

    • you’re too kind. you mean my mind is a really weird place, right?

      🙂

      • LOL, of course! Weird and meandering and wildly creative.

  35. Rob is reading this I just know it..

  36. HAHAHAHA ! Rob really love it!! guys you’re the best…

    lol

  37. I was watching Zoolander the other day.
    Reminded me of Rob (sniff sniff)
    I miss Blue Steel.
    Also, the ” Derelicte” look, a look inspired by the homeless vagrants of New York. Rob wears it so well.

    oh Hot Hobo luv where are you!

  38. […] What if Rob wasn’t famous: the Wedding crasher edition Dear Rob, This weekend I was thinking about you or, I should say, the lack of you we’ve had this past week. My […] […]

  39. I loved this: What are you like during “Shout?” Do you go low?

    lmao

  40. Yoo hoo???? Anyone here??

    • Yes. Yes I am. lol

      How’s it going on your first day?

      • It was good. I’m kinda worried about the clinical aspect of it, but I’ll be okay. I think….lol

        How was your day? HL5 updated!! (I *was* going to start the last update of CWAIA, but I think I’ll read HL5 first…..)

        • It’s all a part of it. I’m sure you’ll do fine once you get into it.

          I hadn’t checked on HL5 for a few hours. I’m still worried about how it’s going to go. I will get it read tonight.

          • it;s good as always. Library Rondezvous also updated, i was into that one when i read it in one big lump, but not having updated for a while I read this update and went ahh, it was a bit of a nothing update.

          • I’m worried as I’m reading it now…lol. I’m not very far in at all.

            I hate when that happens Lizzie! They make you wait forever for it and then….NADA! lol

          • About LR—I know it wasn’t nearly as sexy as those days in bed but it was a relief that she finally got a job and that it is in Seattle. She’s at that beginning shit level now and I’m not sure how far she will take it. It seems a lot like R/L with the job market though. I know we want our fantasy to be a little more exciting but this Edward is such a good guy, a romantic, beautiful and from money so I hope she can find some excitement to keep it going or end it with a bang.

    • I’ll be in ‘n’ out and not in the burger capactity today!

      • LOL Hi Lizzie. OK with me. Anytime, just join in. Busy day?

        • more like moody monday has tripped in too tiresome tuesday. big sigh.

          • ooo….I LOVE alliteration! for real!

      • haha! Whatever works for you Lizzie!

        Also, I just got a notice that CoaN updated too!

        • Oh, good! This chapter will be their first time!

          • I haven’t read ANY of those updates! ARGH!!! I need to learn to read faster! lol

          • I have given up on that possibility. Can’t make myself do it. I like to really read something first time through. It’s how my brain works.

            I’ll try not to spoil anything for you but I am excited to get to this chapter. lol

            I’m loving Piano Lessons. So glad she just brought it off of hiatus cause it has been getting better all the time. A heated love/hate relationship going on that is bound to burst into flames soon.

          • I’m the same way. I should learn to accept it as you have.

        • I don’t do the email updates but have finally figured out a way to cheat with the checking rather than doing individual checks, i go to one of the FF authors profile go to the strory recs they make and then check the update date from there, sneaky huh? I could of course just be organised like FN but alas i’m not!

          • I’m kinda regretting it now, b/c as soon as I finish one I’ve got 2 update alerts in my inbox taunting and teasing me. Saying “you know you want to read me and find out what happens next. stop reading whatever you’re reading and read ME!!” They’re very chatty little buggers!

          • I have noticed that recently Lizzie as I’ve been scouring all the author recs to find the best ones then making notes to myself. I somehow lost my original name for FanFiction so I can’t really make comments or anything. It’s very frustrating.

          • I love that FN, cause i know that is exactly my prob, I print them off, put them in my bag for later then a minute later look around check everyone is busy pull it out brandish the highlighter dangerously put a serious work frown on my face and quickly read it, put it back in the bag, do some work, reach back into bag then repeat process all over again!

          • Great minds E, have learnt my lesson only go for the pimped stories not the ones i find randomly, they just tend to disappoint, and the pimped ones never do.

        • CoaN worth adding to my pile? I saw quite a lot of the authors were pimping out Bonne Foi, it is a vamp story and I am only 4 ch in, but really, really liking it, add it to your list.

          • CoaN is pretty good. This Bella is more assertive than usual. lol

          • BonneFoi was one of my early ones but I’ve never rec’d it. You know how sometimes you get some picture in your mind early on and it sticks with you? That Edward left me feeling like he was Eddie Kruger and he kind of creeps me out. I don’t think he’s very charming. But that doesn’t stop me from reading it with every update! It just goes at the end of my pile.

            CoaN–YES! Very likeable. Frustrating Edward needs a kick in the pants but slowly coming around. Cute little Delilah.

  41. Eddie Kruger!! LOVE IT EyeC!!

    • excellent looking forwrd to some Kruggerish, can see why you have said that E, but i am still enjoying it, I think casue it is EPOV, that is always brownie points in my book

  42. You know, I wish my required reading for school was FF. I find that a LOT easier to read for some reason…

    • LOL It would def spice up your school life!

      • Jenny! How are You!

        Nuggety… how would you get FF to relate to your course? In 50 words or less?

    • I hear that FN!

    • yes work and uni reading no fun at all.

      Sounds like you will be doing a fair bit of practical with the course FN, that will be good i’d much rather be doing than sitting hearing about it all in theory

      • Touche. Who wants to read about what they are meant to do, when you can see and do it?

  43. Hey ladies!

    • Hi Jenny. Anything new?

      • Hmm, new, new… aaand my life just got depressing. Nothing new. You?

    • howdy Ms J-m, two days in a row, feeling honoured!

      • Awwe! As you should be. I always have such interesting things to say.

        • i’m in that club too, funnily enough, well actually not funny which just kinda proves my point does it not?

          • I reread that like 8 times, and I still have no idea wtf it means. But I’m going to say yes. So great is my love for you!

          • LMAO! You two!

    • Hey there! 😀

      • Holla Frannay.

  44. Oh and completely apropros of nothing, this one is for you E, I am wearing red shoes today, feeling very dorothy and wizard of oz

    • Click your heels three times….

      • and don’t think i haven’t done that on several occasions, not working though i am still here. There may also have been a reference to following a yellow brick road at some point as well…

        • LOL!!

        • Weeee represent

          the Lollipop Kids….

          • i have been reading WAY WAy WAY too much FF, my mind went to a completely, completely inappropriate place right then,.

          • I think you’re right! I was just remembering the song Lollipop from way back when and comparing it to today’s–Lil’ Wayne’s?–and I think maybe I was missing something in my innocent days. lol

  45. Hey LOTN!

    • Sup bff.

      • Hi bff!

    • Good timng Ep, we just finished out FF chat! How was day 1, send anyone to the naughty corner yet?

      • My day was awesome. All of my students were perfect angels, of course.

        • how disappointing, i was sure I had arranged things to be much more interesting than that for you. Tell me are any of your students taller than you?

          • Nope, a bunch of shorties in my class. Some of them are close though. There was one kid on the playground he didn’t even look like a 4th grader. Pretty sure he got held back.

    • Sup???

      • The usual. How’s your priority fanfic going?

        • Oh, it’s good. And sad. And good.

    • Hey EP! Are you worn out from all the excitement with the little scamps today?

      • I’m tired. Student teaching will be a lot of work. I’m looking forward to January though. I really like my teacher and the kids seem really great. They didn’t cramp the fantastic mood I’ve been in, so YAY!

        • YAY is right! Too much to look forward to right now. Glad you’re enjoying the class. That’s a good sign that you’re in the right place.

          • I hope so. I really do love it.

        • i think that would be the London mood hitting you EP.

          • London probably does have a bit to do with it yes.

        • Being a student teacher is nothing like the real thing.
          Trust.
          You are under so much more pressure as a student teacher.
          And even then, it’s nothing that a glass of wine or two won’t cure.

          • Good to know!

  46. Okay. Seriously. I thought they would’ve fixed this scrolling business by now.

    This is our punishment for not migrating to the forum. Isn’t it?

    • Yep, I am with you on that one, i really did think the little thumbs up and down would disappear after a couple of days but they are proving stubborn thumbs. *insert thumbs down here*

    • I agree. This is a pain in the arse!

    • It was really bothering me yesterday for some reason.

      I think it is our punishment.

    • I’m delayed reaction tonight, but I agree bff, the scrolling blows.

      • and again i went to a completely inappropriate place, damn you FF damn it, I am going to have to start reading the classics i think.

        • that would of course be The Office, The Dom, The Forbdidden Room etc LMAO

          • LMAO!!! Oh Lizzie….you crack me up!

          • Lizzie… you are one funny gal.

    • Yes. We should have been white sheep, instead, we are black sheep.
      Ba. Ba. Bah humbug. Would rather be black than white. It’s slimming.

  47. Nuggety, how did your first day go?!
    So excited for you! Wahoo. This is the start of your new life as a professional!

    Did you guys read HL5?! OMG! Beautiful. Just beautiful.

    Ee, I think you would like a COMPLETED FF that I’ve just read… Same Time Next Year… or something… it’s really good… will get the link.

    EP – when are you off to London?>

    • Hi Nat, off to London Sept 1st. So 1 week!

      • the final countdown, dan na na na,na na, da nan na na na ok well the song plays much bvetter in my head than trying to type it out.

        • I have a deluded man whom I share an office with… the Final Countdown is his favourite song. It’s his ringtone. It’s his computer start-up tone. It’s his song. It’s all a little wrong… so that was funny!

          One week. Wahoo. How exciting for your, EP. How was the BritBoy Experience? I haven’t seen you on line since then.

          • Brit boys were awesome, all 5 times!

          • All five times?! Geez. Does that mean you get to share one of Marcus’ shirts now? As a BFF?! You could totally do the plaid.

            Sam has some new songs on his MySpace page. Your thoughts?
            Nuggety couldn’t give me anything. Apparently she’s not that committed.

          • Marcus is great, I don’t think I get to share his shirts. And as much as he was sweating, I don’t think I want to.

            I’ve listened to Sam’s songs, they’re great. I like the cover he did, “That’s How Strong My Love Is”.

          • Did Sam appear at any of the shows EP, did you get to see him live?

          • How was the Bobabthon?
            Live up to expectations?

          • But EP, remember he got all those new ones at Goodwill?

            Sam’s EP comes out on the 29th and I’ll be away from a computer until the next Saturday. Did you see his Sea Blue video from today?

          • I saw Sam twice, he did shows in Austin and Houston.

          • Bobby was awesome too. (of course)

            Yeah, I saw the video. 🙂

          • I am pleased you got to collect the set, wouldn not have been the same if you had a missing piece. LOL.

        • I don’t know Lizzie, I thought it was pretty good typed out.

    • It went well. I kept my lip ring in to test the waters and no one seemed to mind. I realize I’ll have to take it out for therapy, but I’m not ready to get rid of it completely just yet. SHHH!!! About HL5! I’m working on it now!!

      How are you??

      • Share when you’ve read.
        I think I’m still crying.

        • Nope, I’m not a crier i’m afraid, i can be moved, but rarely cry.

        • I finished. I didn’t cry, but I LOVED it!!! So many questions though…lol

          • Oh it was so beautiful. Just beautiful.

          • WP is pissing me off and posting things before I edit and combining messages and scrolling and being a complete pain ITA.

            So, my ladies of night, I bid you adieu.

            It was really nice… if Tara was here, the whole family would have been together again…

    • Yes Nat, get me the link. That sounds good. The movie by that title is one of my faves.

      • Ee, this is the link…

        http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4821242/1/Same_Time_Next_Year

        I really really loved this one. It’s not too long – about 21 chapters – and it’s really well thought out.

        • Thanks. That does look good. It’s always nice to have a completed story once in a while. I keep the chapter count and whether it’s completed or not in my notes now.

          • You have FF notes?!
            Geez. Still so much to learn.

            It’s a really beautiful story – unexpected, emotional, angsty, well written…

          • i would like a peek in your book one of these days E!

  48. Where did you pirouette off to J-m?

    • She’s either:

      A) Reading the HL5 update (which I secretly hope)
      B) Finalizing the wedding plans or,
      C) Creepin’ on us 😀

      JenNAY!!!! Come back to us!!

      • Hey! My bff is not a creeper!

      • i did kinda hope she was slaving away making my afternoon snack.

      • Sorry Lizzie!

        FRannay was right, I was reading the HL5 update. It required total concentration!

        And thanks Lizzie, now I’m hungry.

        Oh, and thanks for defending my honour bff. I have never been a creeper.

        • Never! I will defend that until my dying day.

          • This is why we’re bff. Because you are always honest and sincere, and I love you for it.

          • That’s me! ❤

          • You two are making me nauseous….LOL

          • We can’t deny our love, FN.

          • Clearly, I was just afraid it would turn into a “no I love you more” fight. 😀

  49. So none of you told me did you all go out and buy your big cut out carboard Edward or your Edward wall decalls to go with your Edward dooner covers and pillow slips? I think i did hear that the wall decal had sold ut so i hope you got your orders in quickly, i would hate to think you missed out.

    • Creepers, don’t even joke about that.

      • I’m with EP.
        A life size cutout of Robward would be completely different. Maybe.

    • I suspect the Pattinpants lady had a hand in that whole thing….

  50. Okay LOTN, I need to attempt to sleep. I feel exhausted. Which probably means I won’t sleep a wink, because the universe is plotting against me… and I haven’t figured out why yet. I recycle. Piss off world.

    Sweet dreams! ❤

    Oh, and hi and bye to Natalie, because I wasn't here when she popped on!

    • Buenos Noches!!

    • *smooch smooch* pleasant musical dreams to you J-m

      • Ok sweet peeps, i am running away too, just casue I can for a change. There is still a smidgin of light left (oh twilight how we love thee) so I am off to hunt down my edward (hope you had your buckets ready to throw up into. sorry about that should have given you a bit more warning i was going to hit you with that crap.)

        Nighty night

        • Night Lizzie! And Nat (I saw your comment way up there! lol) Sweet Dreams ladies!

        • Night Lizzie, though I’m sure you’re gone. And you could always market Edward blow-up dolls. Don’t think they have those yet…

          • Mwahahaha!

    • Sweet dreams, bff.


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