Posted by: themoonisdown | December 30, 2009

Robert Pattinson is spotted in London and we Break It Down and learn more about Barnes

Dear Rob,

You came out of hiding!!! Congratulations are in order for your parents I assume. I’m pretty sure Clare had had enough of your nasty shoes being all over and couch and you refusing to shower on the regular probably made keeping the windows open a necessity and with it being freezing ass cold I’m sure everyone’s ready for you to step out for an hour or so. So with an alert on my phone and a spring in my step I jumped out of bed ready to Break It Down with UC.

Is there anything else to say but: Let’s Do This!!!

Lizzy um I mean VICTORIA tricking Rob into leaving the house

The one where we figure out It’s Not LIZZY! (said in the “They’re NOT bears!” voice)
can we first talk about the title of the post?! “rob out with sister LIZZY” what about DICK?!
UC: and PS i’m pretty sure that’s NOT lizzy. she has better style that’s Victoria. Victoria wears cashmere, fringey coats and platform boots
Moon: they look like twins but youre right she doesnt really look like lizzy
UC: she looks older
Moon: older sister is ready to throw down with the paps in that one pic. maybe SHE started her own RESPECT the pattz campaign
Moon: Claudia! nice call! twi nerd of the day award for you
UC: thanks! ps a little google search finds me this picture
that’s DEF not lizzy in these pictures. victoria is more plain than lizzy
Moon: victoria fooled the paps! she is a crafty one. older siblings are like that!

The one where we figure out what’s REALLY going on, like the new shrubs

Omg look at that shrub Ron, is that a ficus or an african violet?

Moon: so here’s what i think is happening in these pictures: the pattinson family all agreed that rob needed some new clothes in a BAD BAD way
UC: they know someone in the family who owns a cashmere shop
Moon: so victoria lures him out tell him theyre going to grab some beers or maybe hit a bookstore and then dick opens the door to the prius or whatever car that is and victoria throws him in and they drive off to the store. dicks like ROB we’re just going to Mervyns/khols you NEED a new sweater. youre wearing like 10 shirts and my old windbreaker right now.
UC: and those jeans from the HP days you’re getting really handy with a sewing kit but… they’re falling apart
Moon: exactly he is in desperate need of something made in the last 5 years
UC: and Victoria’s like “I’ll bring my fancy jacket and a cashmere skirt in gray” so we can call him Claudia while he tries on a new sweater. Ps the fam has big feet
Moon: shes got big feet
Moon: jinx
UC: of course!
Moon: her coat is like all kinds of insane. A wookie died for that coat
UC: it’s clearly from a trunk of Claires where they used to pull clothes to dress Rob up in. do you think we’re looking at the Pattinson residence in South Barnes? I’d like to think so
Moon: yea i think they came out the front door or maybe nana’s house
UC: look at the way those bushes are up around the front. (she has a great ass) I think Dick planted them to lure Rob to spend a little time at home
Moon: victorias pointing out the new shrubbery Dick put in while he warms up the car
to trick him. this is clearly a diversion tactic. and her ass is fantastic and she is TALL!
Moon: do you think Victoria was in Clare’s Barbazon school of modeling like rob?
UC: yes! However, I think Dick sold a few extra Porsche’s to get all those photos confiscated. they learned their lesson from the zygote rob fiasco

Want to learn more about Barnes? Want to see Rob’s new wardrobe in 5 years? Follow the jump

Big feet means big... shoes...

The one where UC teaches us about Barnes, London
UC: so i’m going to teach us EVERYTHING there is to know about barnes… first the notable residents
Moon: awwww rob is a notable resident. shouldnt dick and clare be the notable residents?! and DUDE freddy mercury?! Now THAT’s who Barnes should be excited about.
UC: don’t think i’m not google-mapping barnes right now. it’s like SUBURBAN london
Moon: thank god. We need to find his house in street view
UC: i was picturing him living in more like that street in Love Actually. Where Hugh Grant picks up Natalie
Moon: you mean “the dodgy end.” love that movie

The one where a crazy Robsten-er keys Dicks car

You see that son... R-O-B-S-T-E-N wtf is a Robsten? Damn hooligans

Moon: what do you think dick is showing rob? son, now this is a KEY it opens the door….
UC: yeah it could be that OR he recently got keyed by a crazy who wrote “I LOVE ROBSTEN” on the side
Moon: So was it Nikki or Kristen?
UC: it was TammyO
Moon: damn tammyo is going international! Then she keyed a “thumbs down” on it
UC: so le’ts think about this. cuz it’s odd. Papa P is opening the DRIVERS side but it looks like he’s opening the door for Rob
Moon: hopefully he doesnt have a death wish and let’s rob drive
UC: This is his one last act? before Rob drives them to their deaths? Did he send Victoria inside so she didn’t have to partake?
Moon: theres a later pic and i think he’s NOT driving thank god
UC: looks like he took one look at the steering wheel and realized it was REAL and not a fake one-  and got in the back..
Moon: he was like damnit dad i thought this was one of those battery powered ones

Who wants to die today?! Rob, why don't you drive?

The one where girls talk about cars
Moon: so what kind of car is that?
UC: mercedes?
Moon: ive been trying to figure it out it doesnt look like a mercedes
UC: jag b/c they’re british?
Moon: it looks like a Kia
UC: Kia or a Hyundai Sonata. Hard to tell
Moon: if it was a merc. the lights would be circular, I think you’re right its defs the sonata or a ford festiva. They love those small ass cars over there. like i can talk….
UC: for their small ass streets. on the dodgey ends

The one where Dick models “Dad Couture”

You'll look great in purple, Rob

UC: do you SEE his dads shirt? that’s his in another 2-3 years
Moon: YES
UC: purple! That’s a new color or him. it has a ZIPPER!?
Moon: the purple zip up pullover. That was clearly a clare/victoria/lizzy gift from xmas. “theyre like here’s the hottest thing dad, PURPLE zip up! You’ll be so hot down at the dealership”
UC: and Rob saw him open it, his eyes got big as he thought of what i’ll look like in 2-3 years, with a few small holes around the breast
Moon: rob was like what am i going to match that with in 10 years? all my stuff is blue, black and olive green hmmm maybe dad will give me that north face puffy jacket too….
Moon: Robs new look will be classified at “south barnes retiree chic”
UC: notice he’s holding what seems to be a black peacoat clearly from the Dick Pattinson 2008 collection since he dons the north face in 2009. He was walking out and Clair said “Where do you think you’re going without a heavier jacket, Mister?”
Moon: that wind breaker plus 293489324 shirts isnt going to keep you warm
UC: he’s like “Mom, I’m 23, and a millionaire actor starring in a film that just made 640 mil world wide”
Moon: seriously im counting 4-5 shirts/layers
UC: “plus i may or may not be screwing a girl younger than 20. why are you on my back?” then she gave him The Look. So he grabbed the jacket. you don’t mess with The Look from Claire
Moon: not at all thats from her advanced modeling class “guilt with your eyes” is what the looks called.
Tyra stole it for top model and i think maybe my mom was in the same modeling class, shes GOOD with that look

I won rock/paper/scissors fair and square Rob, stop pouting!

The one where nothing changes

UC: it’s why he never goes home, that look…plus this
UC: nothing ever changes. it doesnt’ matter than he’s a millionaire in a hot relationship he’s a hot actor on the red carpet BUT Vickie still gets to ride shot gun in the Sonata
Moon: he’s in the BACK of the sonata and he’s pissed cause he has to straddle the car trash bag back there
UC: i bet that’s why it looked like Dick was holding him back as they got into the car. He was afraid he was going to leap around the other side and take Vicky’s seat and She’s wearing her cashmere so he knows she’s in a serious mood you don’t mess with Vic when she’s in cashmere so.. he held Rob back.
Moon: never
UC: guided him into the back of the Sonata
Moon: and Dick’s seen his Edward moves in getting around a car in lightening speed. He had to hold him back
UC: i think this is some european car we don’t have
Moon: its defs a euro car we know nothing about. European readers, TELL US what this is
Moon: So besides Mervyns/Khols for a new sweater where did they go? (whats’s the UK version of Mervyns?)  i would love to see the Pattinson family out for the Sunday sale at khols. I would die of laughter while clare’s trying on outfits from the simply vera wang collection for khols. Rob trying on new nikes cause im pretty sure that the only place where you can still get that model

The one where we go on the Rob Pattinson Tour of London

Worthy of it's OWN tour

UC: ps. barnes is around 7.5 miles from Buckingham palace
Moon: OHHHH fancy
UC: I wish we knew MORE of where he lived..
Moon: i wonder if they salute the queen every time they drive by we need to visit take the “Robert Pattinson’s London” group tour trip
UC: YES, i’d love it
Moon: the tour guide would wear plaid shirts and holey jeans and her little tour guide flag would be a ripped up piece of flannel on a stick
UC: hahaha
Moon: “Robert Pattinson’s London” would be like 3 stops: his parents house, the South Barnes Theater and that alley way behind the bar in the tweet/dumpster picture and the tour would take place in a Hyundai Sonata
UC: So you know the name of that theater? I need to find the address
Moon: Nope, but you need to find it cause we need to know all about Barnes. I wish england made their contribution records public
UC: what would we look for?
Moon: than we could find out if his parents contributed to any political campaigns and that would give us their home address
UC: Cause Tha’ts Normal

So there we have it Rob, you’re back in London… what else will you be up to? Will we be treated to another bearded drunk fest with an unnamed kid? Will La Stew show up? Will you throw your mom a bone and go on a couple modeling gigs for her? Whatever it is, we can’t wait!


So what so do we think? Is that a Sonata, a Kia, some rando VW? What about Lizzy/VIctoria. Does anyone else love that silver fox, Dick?!


Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum, LTT, Twitter


  1. This is just what we’ve been talking about yesterday!!!
    And me and Robgirl found out we have similiar boots to robs sis and we love her handbag…

    • And I missed, missed, missed you girls breaking it down!!!

  2. HILARIOUS girls…..GENIAL, I can’t find words…

    -that’s Victoria
    -the lila sweater…..hahaha…the Pattinson clan has great fashion skills
    -the non-driving MEN…..too funny
    -the car…I have no clue

    – but of the ass-es….oh MAN… great genes there around in Barnes!!!
    P.S. Sign me for the Barnes-tour, plz!!!

    • I am so glad the Quad actually looked at that ass cause I felt like a perv when I did yesterday!!!

      • No you’re def not the only one :-). LOL

        • Also guilty of ass-staring. I couldn’t help myself.

  3. OK girls, I was IN BARNES on Monday when I think these papped shots were taken. I want to preface this with the fact I was there for a reason other than to stalk Rob (although that was a big motivational factor in going!).

    It’s very nice – although waaaay posher than I thought it would be and I could not afford to live there (but then I’m not in a multi-gazillion pound movie franchise). I went to a couple of pubs and spent a good while wondering if anyone there knew Him or if he’d sat in the exact seat I was in at any point and if I would get chucked out if I casually asked the bar staff if he’d ever been there/where he lived/his phone number. Then I got drunk and totally forgot about Rob altogether and was just merry with my friends.

    There was no sign of him (obviously, he was being whisked away to get some new threads!) and I went home happy because I was drunk and my friends are funny. THEN I went online and saw the first pics of Rob in about a MONTH actually out in Barnes and I nearly threw up because I was SO CLOSE (that’s what she said). One day I WILL go to a pub with Rob – I don’t care if it’s when we are both geriatrics on day release from our respective homes at the same time! It’s gonna happen. LET’S DO THIS.

    • I would so like to be your friend…in Barnes…drunk….WITHOUT any stalker purpose
      I swear

      • ME TOO ME TOO !!!

    • Of course, the main reason to go to Barnes, THE place where he happens to be, was to have some beers, right? 🙂 You’re a lucky gal to live that close.

      • Lets just say when the planning was happening I was pretty forthcoming with Barnes idea and I lucked out that it was convenient for everyone!!

    • Wow you know eventhough you didn’t see him, I still feel jealous that you were so close!!!!

      So what’s it like around the area? I’ve only been to London and I’ve never heard of Barnes. Is it more a residential area? Teeheee…ok Moon and UC made a good suggestion on googling it and maybe we could see a street view.

    • YES! it’s expensive there. I looked up real estate (that’s normal) and found a house for moon & I and I think it was like 6 mil pounds.

      • That sounds about right! That’s totally normal as well.

      • So would the houses be like from Lifestyles of the Rich and famous? Kind of like Beverly Hills?

        • @southernbelle

          Some houses in Barnes are A.MAY.ZING – HUGE and beautiful and excellent location etc.

          But some are pretty ordinary, esp towards Hammersmith Bridge. And most of them are somewhere in the middle – I reckon that is the area that Team Pattz live in 🙂

          • Thanks for explaining it to me ;-).

      • UC we could all go in together with a bunch of us from LTR and split the cost. It would be like a big pajama party every night. If we build it, Rob will come.

      • Yea. . . So normal to check real estate in South Barnes. Already did that a month ago (news was slow). Had to check it on the off chance that I may never ever get the chance to live there. I do like the idea of sharing it as a communal pad where we can all take turns admiring (stalking) the Pattinson house on the off-chance Robert decides to visit. That would be VERY normal too. . .

    • Heyy, I was in Barnes too that day! I have a non-stalking reason- I live in Richmond and decided to pop by and take a walk in te freezing cold, by no means hoping to bump into him.

      The area is pretty huge and I walked the length and breadth of it. Again, for fun. I went into the Red Lion. Did u go there? I have it on excellent authority that it’s his local favourite. You’ll catch me living eating and breathing there up until the day he departs. Joking. Not joking. Hmm.

  4. Bearded Rob makes a triumphant return!! I love it. I wouldn’t mind catching a little beard burn from that…

    When you said Vickie won shotgun, I was all not uh! She is clearly driving. American who hsn’t has her latte, right here!

    And what they’re looking at on the car is my phone number. I’m expecting a call any minute now. I heard Rob was into destruction of personal property.

    PS. This ties in perfectly to something I feel needs discussion. I was playing Twilight Scene It last night (because I’m THAT cool) and noticed something very wrong. Laurent has no facial hair in Twilight. New Moon? That vamp grew a goatee. Someone please explain this to me. We all know they can’t do that!!!

    • Pink,
      I want to know more about Twilight Scene It and you ARE that cool!

      Thanks for the keen eye on Laurent’s facial hair.

      • It’s so much win. You can set it to party shuffle and just let the questions roll. The board is small though. My Friends and Harry Potter ones both have big boards. PLUS, you can put it your computer and create Twilight invitations for a party. Guess what I’m gonna do!

        • Fun! Thanks, PINK!

  5. I think the purple sweater could go really really great with the Bahama blue shirt!

    • I forgot…
      TammyO = Robsten hooligan ???

    • Yes, and purple’s cool!

  6. “Vicki’s wearing cashmere, so he knows she’s in her serious mood.”

    Hahahah! I wonder what would have happened if Rob wore his tweed?

    What’s more serious, cashmere or tweed?

    • hmm… tweed is clearly more serious than cashmere b/c cashmere is soft and cozy and tweed is slightly uptight and sometimes itchy.

      • I agree with that… I am all for the tweed! (If Rob wears it that is)
        And I mean it sounds waaaay better saying ‘this is tweed serious’ than ‘this is cashmere serious’ right?

        • totally! saying “this is cashmere serious” sounds really wussy…

  7. Dear UC and Moon,

    I think this Car must be an Opel… At least it looks that way… probs a Opel Corsa or Astra…

    • ok I looked at the pictures carefully and I bet it’s a Opel Meriva…

      • Meriva is REALLY small though …

        • and the door handles are wrong

          • Actually the door handles are typically Opel… Trust me my Dad had a Opel for 10 years and my Cousin recently bought one… I grew up with Opel…

          • …I grew up with Opel…!!!
            hahaha…me too me too

            Opel plant=Bochum=ME
            every german drives Opel….
            it’s/was cheap!

          • Cheers for the car enthusiasts!!!!

          • Bleriana I meant the handles were wrong for the Astra – not the Meriva. 😀 My bad for replying pre-caffeine fix.

      • OMG you’re right. It’s a Meriva!

        I got one of those suckers as a rental once, instead of a cute little one. Upgrade my ass. I swear I aged 40 years that week. I’m kinda disappointed in Dick. But I guess it explains the green Porsche.

        P.S. If you have that car, I’m not apologizing. Buying it was your choice. Plus, you’re twinners with the Patties.

        • See…
          You know I wanted to buy this one but it’s quite expensive (I want a brand new one) and therefore I gave it up…
          But it’s really cute isn’t it?! And also very small… wondering how Rob fits in…

          • You could call it cute in the my-grandma-is-driving-it kinda way. Srsly, you can get a BMW Z3 E36/8 for that money! Now that is one helluva car if you clean it up nicely (read classy not doucheish). But I digress… Your money, your decision, but if you want to accelerate properly and drive on the highway without making over 3000 RPM -> get a Corsa or an Astra. Take it for a testdrive and you’ll know what I mean ;).

          • I decided to get an Audi actually… I love, love, love Audi (almost as much as Rob) and therefore I just decided to give the Audi A5 a go…

        • Leave it to you to actually know what car that is… I KNEW you would know this the minute I saw UC & Moon’s call for the European’s help. 😉

          • I didn’t expect to know it but since Opel is like “The German’s favourite Car” and I want to buy one right now I am pretty great with Cars…
            Aaaaaand I feel like a stalker now for watching those pictures so closely and comparing it to every single car in my memory… But that’s normal right??

        • They’re all so tall…how do they all fold up and fit in that little bitty thing? Rob would have much more leg room in my little Kia Sportage 😀

          …or maybe that’s why Clare and the real Lizzie aren’t with them…no room?

    • I wonder if Rob knows WHAT car it is?
      No, never!

      • he doesn’t even know what boxers he’s wearing.

        • USA = Edward’s !
          GB = Daddy’s ?
          nightmare call!

          • France=My undies? NO. So no undies. he def needs more trousers.

    • are those expensive? are they nice? I thought he sold luxury cars?

      • Well depends on what you value as expensive.. a new one cost about 20.000 €… I know this because I am in the midst of buying a new car and thats why I possibly know about every car in the world…
        And Opel is nice but not luxurious at all.. which would go with the pic I have of Clair and Dick being down to earth and all…

        And I am damn sure it is a Opel Meriva from experience… I just saw one on the street and people possibly thought I was crazy because I looked at it closely comparing it to the car in the pictures…

        • I love how this is becoming a car discussion today…I learned a lot! Bleriana you are the Opel-Meriva-Rob-backseat-QUEEN!

          • Jippie!!! And what’s my prize??
            I never ever thought that my interest in cars would help me getting to know a little detail in Rob’s world…

          • plastic-Rob in a plastic-car????

          • Well… huh….
            I want a Date with REAL Rob in the backseat of his dad’s REAL Opel Meriva!!! HAHAHA

      • I don’t think Opel (and it is called Vauxhall in UK) is a luxury car, it’s like middle range, like Ford or Volkswagen or Peugeot or Fiat.
        I might say I’m disappointed, I expected Dick to own a Bentley or Rolls Royce, because that’s the type of luxury cars the silver foxes in UK usually drive ( as seen on TV )

  8. Playing Edward in Twilight – $2 million dollars

    Playing Edward in New Moon – $10 million dollars

    Going home and being treated like the kid brother that you are and forced to sit in the back of the car – Priceless!

    (For everything else, there’s Mastercard)

    • That’s really true!!! I know exactly how Victoria feels. I’m the oldest, I have a younger sister and the youngest is a brother, close to Rob’s age. Wow, let me tell you, my sister and I really bossed my brother around(but I’m the boss). We still do. When he was young we did the same thing, dressed him up, put make up on him(my mother’s). We introduced her as Christine. LOL.

      • No you didn’t!!! HAHAHAH
        My brother is also the youngest but we never boss him around.. Actually I treat him like a prince… When he was in Kindergarten I would pick him up with a sleigh from Kindergarten when there was snow on the ground… HAHAHA

        • Seriously? Lucky for your brother. Nowadays when my brother is here, I make him pick up trash and make him change dirty diapers. Bwahahah. Srsly I love my little bro but he needs a kick in the rump sometimes, reality check.

          • Yeah but my brother is like 10 right now and when I did that he was 5 so it’s okay… I still have lots of time to kick him in the ass if needed to be…

          • I’m sure that’s exactly what Lizzy and Victoria say–“He needs a kick in the rump”! Nothing quite like the family Christmas to take you down a couple notches, right, Rob?

    • WIN!

      • This is hilarious…& I bet, true.

        It’s sibling law that if something noteable happens to one of you the rest of you have to rip the piss out of them. I hope his sisters take him out in the hall & beat him up every now & then, just to keep him in his place. I bet they look him up on line & then scream at him in high pitched fangirl voices & repeat what they’ve seen on blogs, in an uber sarcastic way. How could they not?

        However, this does not mean they will not fight to the death to protect him if they have to…siblings…doncha just love them?

        P.S. Confession – I also dressed my lil brother as a girl – then pushed him out the front door & locked it. Tee hee.

        • @beakerj I’m glad I’m not the only one. And guess what, my sister and I have pictures to prove it! LOL. Ammunition for when the younger brother gets out of line.

          And you’re right, if someone tries to hurt my brother, my sister and I will fight to protect him. I’m sure Rob’s sister’s will do the same. 🙂

    • and im pretty sure thats the most thumbs up a comment has ever received! congrats!

  9. The car is some kind of Vauxhall – the car mad tech guy in my office thinks it might be an Astra.

    He also thinks I should have better things to do with my lunchbreak than zooming in on pap photos of homeless looking people. He agrees about the great ass tho. Meh.

    • which ass, Rob’s or his sisters?

      At first I thought it was an Opel or maybe even a Lancia, but I’m thinking it might be a Peugeot. Which would explain everything. Dick and CBird clearly bought it for him for his Christmas pressy, and he was all like “WTF – I know I can’t drive worth a crap, but seriously? A Peugeot? Dad, c’mon, you’ve gotta drive cuz I can’t be seen about town in a 207. People will laugh.”

      • Definitely the sister – he’s down with my Kstew girlcrush but manlove really isn’t his thing 🙂

    • Yep, the car is a Vauxhall Meriva. It’s weird ’cause in all other European countries we call that thing an Opel, but in GB it’s called a Vauxhall. Personally, I don’t think the size of it is all that bad, maybe to US standards (no offense!) it is. I remember going on holiday to the US and my dad took a rental: a white Ford Mustang convertible, which was awesome but didn’t have enough room for our luggage, so he swapped it at the rental service and got a Town Car, and those are just total BEASTS… And I think Dick thought about his son while buying it, since it has adjustable rear seats for his looooooong legs!

      • no offense taken. and dude town cars are like land bound yachts theyre SOOO huge! thats what she said. i drive a 2 door so im sure people in the back hate me

  10. Robs jeans are too big He almost lost there. Cool. Are they trying to break into the car or did they lose the keys?

    • honey, we LOVE that…the loosing jeans…I mean!
      thumb up for the rest!

    • Honey, honestly who wants a guy with a big ass? I love how Rob’s jeans hang lose that way, won’t have it any other way. 😉

  11. Simon Le Bon of Duran Duran is also on the notable citizens of Barnes list (major cute back in the day)! Must be something in the water!

    I love that he was relegated to the back seat!
    And there are at least 4 layers of shirts/coats on him.

    • Rumor is Simon’s kids went (are going?) to Harrodian. See, it’s a small, small world. lol

  12. I would have liked for more discussion of The Return of Beardward. *Rejoicing over here!*

    • YES! I missed Grizzly Rob – Close Shave In Japan Rob was not doing it for me!

    • ME TOO!!!!!!!!! i LOVE beardward!

  13. Ah, the purple sweater! I was talking about it yesterday with Robgirl. She noticed it first. And the dilemma of the day was: did Dick ran shopping by himself and thought everything was permitted while Clare wasn’t watching, or was it a present and from who? Now that I’m thinking, it could be Rob who told his dad vintage was trendy and Dick dug out of the garage his skiing clothes from the 80s. Those were the days.
    That being sad, I’m putting on my flashy hoodie.
    And thanks for pointing out he had an extra coat, the fandom was all distressed at the thought of him getting a cold. I’m guessing some North Face jackets will be send to his house very soon.

    • YEAH…the fandom was distressed…..
      that’s why we need the NEW CAMPAIGN-S!!!
      Respect Claudia!
      Respect Barnes!
      Respect the weather in Barnes!
      Respect the NIKES!
      ahemmm Rob…
      laces open???
      you will loose them
      I’m getting…distressed

      • let’s hope he loses them.

        • i hope he loses the jeans… when i’ll meet him.

      • hahahahaha
        I’m in for all the campaigns.
        We should do some Valium &co provisions cause with his “risky” life plus these gals with huuuuge motherlly instincts, the pharmacies will run out of it soon.

    • minuit…did you resolve the question of the wrong-side, I mean left side in England? Was the conversion too expensive? Is it HIS new car? Is Rob suppose to “DRIVE” here around in Europe???

      • Dick was driving, no chauffeur in a Opel. The shadow to Rob’s left could be: Edward, his imaginary friend, kStew or the bush across the street (a Barnes alternative for the dumpster).
        What conversion?
        Rob shouldn’t drive anywhere, for objective reasons we all know.
        I’d love to see him on a bike, the European city way.

        I have another vey serious question:
        Does anybody know what’s the story with his New Year’s Eve party from last year?

    • Do they have Goodwill in Barnes? Maybe that’s where it’s from? 🙂

      Minuit is your hoodie bedazzled? You said it’s flashy!

      • don’t really know what “bedazzled” means, but I think the answer is yes. i just feel it.

        • MP you can google it (that’s what Edward said). lol

  14. muwwwwwwwwwahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahaha
    I havent laugh this hard in a long time!!
    oh how i missed the breaking downs…
    I like grizzly rob, I think he looks good, older, more interesting…

  15. “Where do you think you’re going without a heavier jacket, Mister?”

    Yep … sounds like Clare.

    The car is Volvo. Yea, not really.

  16. “In recent years, Barnes has been cited as the leading area in the United Kingdom for internet shopping, with £150 pa per head being spent.”

    I don’t know why, but I love knowing this about Barnes.

    I would LOVE to hear a regular conversation between Rob and his sisters. I’m guessing they give him hell, and while doing so they quote LTR verbatim, because you KNOW they read it.

    Great Break Down, as always, ladies!

    • Only imagining this possibility makes me laugh hard!!!
      But what LTR quote would they most likely use?

      • Well, I’m hoping the sisters don’t talk to Rob in a sexually suggestive manner, which would eliminate roughly 73% of all quotable LTR material. I think they “speak LTR”, though. Second-hand embarrassing, they ask him if he’s seen any good dumpsters, ask him if he wants to build a fort, casually throw in comments about tweed, Werthers and jorts, etc etc.

        When it comes time to put away the X-mas tree, Victoria says something about “Breaking it Down Vanity Fair Style” and Lizzie laughs, and Rob gets the wide eyed look because he, of course, reads LTR as well. Then there is this silent look of acceptance and understanding passed between all three that says “Never speak of this to Mum and Dad”.

        I think I’ve thought about this too much….

        • HAHAHAHa….. This sounds soooo real!!!

        • sounds like you think of this as much as we do zees!

  17. seriously, Pattinson Family!!

    can you not see that your boy needs new jeans plus sweaters from kohl’s??

    someone in that family has to have gotten him a pair or ten.

    bring yer fine ass this way, RobLove. We’ll drag my mom with us (so you can ride in the back seat again and pout all sexy) and get the Senior Citizen discount. if you are going to dress like a grandpa, you might as well get the discount, too.

  18. Dearest Roberto,

    I understand all your sadness. I, too, have to sit in the backseat. It isn’t fair, is it?

    I’m fairly certain that this makes us soul mates. Pizz had a magic eight ball thing, maybe I should ask that…

    ❤ Fangerella.

    PS. Don't let those meanies get you down. They just wish they could still fit in the same clothes they wore five years ago.

    • I wish I could fit in to the clothes I wore five days ago, damn holiday weight

    • HAHAHAH I loved your comment fangbanger!!

    • For realz, Fang. If I could fit in the jeans I bought just last year, I’d be happy. Which brings me to the fact Beardward should be smiling all. the. time…he saves so much money by not buying new clothes – just think of all that money he has for beer.

    • LOL. I hate it when I am not the one driving….I like to be in control! I wonder if Rob’s a backseat driver, telling his sis how to drive?

      • In all my fantasies, Rob likes to be in control.

        • He’s the one in control in my fantasies too. But I get to drive the car. 🙂

  19. Yay! It’s been too long since the last time. I love Ron.

  20. I bet he was heading to Marks & Spencer’s….you can’t beat M&S and their underwear department! Seriously, everytime I go home I stock up on dubious pieces of elastic….so I reckon Rob has acquired some fresh pants and by pants, I mean knickers 🙂


    • Yes, def, M&S and I bet they bought some “reasonable priced” cashmere as well.

      • followed by an egg & cress sarnie in the food hall ; )

    • I tot agree that Marks & Spencers would be perfect… they’re probably waiting for January clearance sales!

    • marks and spencer?! i love learning all this stuff!! opel, vauxhaul and now marks and spencer! its almost like i live there now!

      uc and i are moving there now

  21. I feel slightlyguilty about looking at the photos. (Not that it stopped me from leering at that sweet *ss.)
    Poor guy, he’s on vacay for cripes sake.

    Personally, I think Vic is dragging his butt off to a spa for a mani/pedi. I doubt Clare allows mangy man feet up on her couch. That’s why no laces. So he can put his shoes on without messing up his toesies.
    Dick likes the way his feet smell after soaking in the rose petal water.

    • I never thought about this possibility… You cracked me up Christa64c

  22. You ladies made me cry this morning! With laughter of course. “Robsten? wtf is a Robsten? Damn hooligans.” Oh Dick you don’t know the half of it.

    Lizzy and Victoria are very attractive, but Rob is clearly the prettiest of all. Must suck to have a brother who’s prettier than you are.

    And those pics match the pic of the Pattyrents house in my Film Fantasy: Countdown to NM mag. Only here would I admit to not only having that magazine, but remembering the tiny pic of their house and comparing it to the new pics .

    • I did the same thing, DtD! Only my motivation was to see if the mag actually listed their address. I’m shameless, I know.

      Loved the breakdown, especially “Robsten, wtf is a Robsten? Damn hooligans.”

    • yes truly it must suck to have a brother prettier than you. 😉 Mr. Pretty.

      • Mr. Pretty has a nice ring to it…

  23. Wow UC and Moon this is awesome!

    I’m kind of mesmerized by his hands on the 4th picture….holding the windbreaker. What lovely hands he’s got. My goodness.

    I love the sister’s outfit, looks like something I would wear.

    Rob jeans, seriously it’s falling apart…hmm, that might be a wonderful sight to behold won’t it? 🙂

  24. Oh, how I’ve missed the break down.

    Nice shoes, Dick.

  25. Dear UC & Moon,

    I’ve been away for a few days, but I came here today and you did not disappoint. I really would love to see some more ‘break it down’ posts. They’re the best.

    Team Shiteous Nikes rejoice!

    (Dear Clare, please get Rob to eat something – he is wasting away. He cannot be thinner than Uma when he starts shooting – this will not be sexy)

    • we love breaking it down too. problem is, there is little to break down these days. sad

      • Fear not, there’s definitely a Vogue shoot on the way!

      • Hilarious hilarious breakdown…just discovered your website,,,and it’s fast becoming one of my very few favorites to help feed my Robsession! ❤

  26. Ahhh, Beardward is my (and LiLi’s) favorate Rob!! I could just set up camp in the beard….live in it….roll around in it….you get the picture! 🙂 Le sigh.

    Happy Hump Day!

    • wow….can’t spell or type today. sheesh.

  27. Whahaha it has been broughten!

  28. I love it when you all are breaking it down! Makes me run around and giggle. OK, at least giggle.

    One thing I may add, the pic from this same time where Rob is giving major stink eye to the camera, the one where he looks very pissed? Well, thats the look he shoulda given the bad guys in Twilight when he saved Bella. Seriously, show Sparkles that picture and have him practice in a mirror. That was the perfect mean-Sparkle look.

  29. Social comments and analytics for this post…

    This post was mentioned on Twitter by letter2twilight: RESPECT CLAUDIA:

  30. moon. did you mean to caption a pic Ron? i hope you did not. I love you

    • i couldnt type rob for the life of me yesterday so i left it. i lvoe ron

  31. the car is a Vauxhall Corsa

  32. The BREAKDOWN! Yes!!!

    I loved this posts my girls….and this:

    “damn tammyo is going international! Then she keyed a “thumbs down” on it”

    Heh. 😉

  33. So so much I want to say! Why is there no edit button, or delete button? Might have to pop to the forum 🙂

    So funny today, so so funny, LOVEIT!

    Toooldforthis – Mastercard comment is hilair!

    What is Mervyns/Kohls? Not here in London 😦

    Maybe they were off to Marks & Spencer or John Lewis or House of Fraser, instead?

    Now the papps have found him, he will never be in Barnes again and this makes me sadface.

  34. gosh i wishi had been around for this. i’m looking at prices for london and barnes trips as we speak.


    also… i thought i was good at stalking… but moon with the contribution data. that’s intense.

    • Come visit Calli!

      I *heart* Twilight Theatre, I think you are my people 🙂

    • yes lets take a trip and dude contribution data is where its at!

  35. Also – did Rob get a Kindle for Christmas?

    And is he also holding a Blackberry?

    How many mobile phones do you need dude?


  36. Did the Pattinsons not get a white Christmas? Bummer. I was out shoveling snow for 3 days and during that time had a lot of time to think… about Rob (what else?). I wondered if Clare and Dick made Rob shovel their snow, if a Rob snow angel is more beautiful than anyone else’s snow angel, if Rob water proofs his shiteous Nikes, what it would be like to have an amazingly gorgeous brother, does Rob shop on-line or does he have a personal shopper or do Stephanie/Nick shop for him, was Rob plastered on Christmas Eve night cuz I know I was! On Stoli bought just for his honor. Does he even drink Stoli or just wear the shirt, did Rob ever play Joseph, a wise man, a sheep, or a lobster in a nativity play….
    Gawd, I need a snow blower so I don’t have all this time to think! He did keep me warm though

    • These are the best questions anyone has ever thought of.

      “I wondered … if a Rob snow angel is more beautiful than anyone else’s snow angel…”

      Yes. Yes it is.

      • Please ask this via the Remember Me Facebook Page.

        Thank you.

    • We didn’t have Stoli on Xmas Eve, but we did have Heineken. My husband came home with a keg , and I said ” you know, that’s Rob’s favorite.” He rolled his eyes and said “As sick as it is, I thought of that when I bought it.” I love how Rob has infiltrated even my husband’s life.

  37. This is quite possibly the most awesome website/blog I have ever encountered will ever encouter. My life is now complete.


  38. Hello Ladies (and Rob of course)

    My first post here after following for quite awhile now. I had to out myself to tell you that I know the address to the Pattz Chateau and you can find it easily if you just do a little Google research. The house if viewable on Google Maps with the Street View and I spent quite a bit of time last night researching to see if this was the same place. It is the same place. The car they are getting into is in the Street View as well.

    So yes, I spent my evening cyberstalking. What else am I going to do on a perfectly good Monday night. Make dinner for my kid? Converse with the Hubbs? That is crazy talk.

    Also, I am pretty sure that is his Mum in the passengers (drivers?) seat. Check out the hair. Compare it to her on the recent Ellen appearance. Pretty sure.

    Wow after typing that out I realize I need a hobby. Oh who am I kidding, I have one – this place. Love the posts. Keep up the good work!!!!

    • wow Wendy….LMAO
      that was better than any TV-Thriller
      Wendy is going Sherlock Holmes…..

      • Thanks…sometimes I feel like this is the only place that justifies my obsession!!!

        • I understand you, because not so long ago I googleearted Barnes from my friends house (she lived in Richmond, that’s 2.4 miles away, but she moved and I hate her for that).

          You must have some incredible detective skills: to me, all the brownstone houses in UK look the same. 😦

          • GoogleEarthed

    • Question:did you use a pay service to get the address? I tried and found one site that had the info, but you had to pay for it, as the address is not listed (natch).

      Maybe my stalking skills just aren’t up to par.

    • I spent all summer working in Barnes (& searching) and you find all the relevant info on one night WendyT.

      Pffffttt! I am a rubbish stalker!


      P.S. Electoral register?

    • Hi,

      I too have been searching Google Earth and Street View!! Lol

      But I’ve had no luck 😦

      How did you find his house WendyT?


  39. I don’t think I told you guys this yet and today’s post seems like an appropriate place to share an amusing tidbit.
    So, my husband does a ton of business travel and his latest trip was to London. He was walking down Piccadilly past all the souvenir shops and he noticed that in addition to the little Big Bens & Towers of London and other chakas that you can buy to remember your time in London, you can now buy RPattz calendars & posters. He’s become a souvenir of a visit to London!

    I tried to think of something equivalent for NYC, but I could not. There are Yankees posters and crap in every store in Times Square, and tons of Broadway stuff, but there are no movie stars who just happen to be from NY whose calendar you can buy in NYC souvenir shop. Pretty intense.

  40. the theatre mite b the BAC jus saying.

  41. o n in england u cn get nikes loadza places-they;re not hard 2 find jus walk in2 a shoe shop look around and some where u will spot some. promise.

    • Use English please.

  42. Out of respect I gotta call Rob’s dad, “Richard,” and yes, I like him. Look at that stylish hair, and I’m sure Rob taught him that.

    • I bet he did… or its smth thats in the family… Good genes and everything…

    • that’s how Rob will look like 30 yrs from now.

    • Mountainlion, are you by any chance trying to get cyber-friendly with Dick (ew sorry Richard).
      *And then one thing lead to another and she was invited to dinner at the Pattinsons* 🙂

      • Yes she’s invited and I made myself fit in mountainlion’s purse. 🙂

      • Minuit,
        Honestly, I don’t know what I’m trying to do when it comes to Rob….

  43. I don’t know where I’ll get my early morning laughs if LTR and LTT do not exist…Gosh, I wish my friends are as hilarious as UC and Moon or as into Rob and Twilight as well!!!

    • Omg don’t even think about smth like that.. A world without LTR… that’s almost worse than a world without Rob!!!

  44. Hmmm… so close… Fine, the Channel still separates us, Rob dear, but people swim the Channel all the time. All. The. Time.

    • Oh lawd.

      I just pictured Rob in a speedo.

      And laughed. Out loud.

      • Re: “Rob in a speedo?”

        1. I can handle anything after the snail.

        2. Ordinarily, any man in speedo = major revulsion, but not with Rob. Nothing he’d do could possibly turn me off, not even a speedo.

        With that said, I can honestly say, I am unconditionally, and irrevocably in lust with him…or whatever that line is.

        Thanks, Fang.

        • G-d bless the snail. It makes every weird/gross thing about Rob, or any man who does not have a snail (or dragon) seem sooooooo normal.

        • Contemplating if I should see The Snail or not. Is it one of those things you can’t unsee like Zygote Rob? Am I going to be like Phoebe seeing Monica & Chandler and yell “MY EYES! MY EYES!” ?

          • Yes, Keisha, You can’t undue it once it’s done. If you can’t help yourself Teamseth posted it on 12/29 at ltt, but I wish I hadn’t of looked.

          • I looked up the snail after reading this….I missed the post just underneath the link that had the emergency CAPS LOCK warning over content….

            Just when you think you’ve seen everything…along comes the snail. Did he fall willy first into a threshing machine or what?

            And how does he…& doesn’t wee go everywhere? And why? And who? And…I bet you end up looking!

        • Oh yes, and I’m guessing there will be no speedo padding necessary.

      • How about skinny-dipping Rob? 😉

        • I’m there…

  45. “Who wants to die today? Rob why don’t you drive?” = photo caption perfection!

  46. I just want you to know.. I was on the phone trying to make a Dr appt… when I read that “A wookie died for that coat” line and laughed so hard that I had to hang up on the nurse who FINALLY answered to make an appt…


    you guys make my day on a regular basis

    • AWWWWW that is awesom e and sucks at the same time! but seriously… that coat!

  47. “You’ll look great in purple, Rob”

    OOHHHH I ♥ you for that!
    “Purple’s cool!”

  48. “A wookie died for that coat”


  49. I’m so glad that I wasn’t drinking anything when I read this. I knew I was in for a treat when I read “Respect Claudia”. UC and Moon – that was hysterical. I’m cracking up over the comments as well.
    Let’s hope that Dick holds on to the purple zipper sweatshirt thing because can you imagine that with the mended and stained blue pants?
    All I’m adding is that I don’t know if that is Victoria or Lizzie but I do know that Patz sister’s kung fu is strong.

  50. Just out of curiousity, what is a wookie? 🙂

    • I believe a wookie is a very furry animal from Star Wars, right? Is the furry dude that hangs out with R2 D2 a wookie? OK, I Googled it:

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