Posted by: Bekah | July 1, 2009

Captioning the new pics of Robert Pattinson because they’re too good not to caption

Dear Rob-

This week’s been like Christmas day in June. It’s been like my Super Sweet 16, 5 years later, ahem. It’s been like my first time all over again. It’s been like winning the lottery. It’s been like the Oscars on rewind. It’s been like Montepulciano, Italy and you shirtless and hot.

Ok… ok, I’m exaggerating just a bit, but yesterday was another one of those days when we’ve been flooded in more ways than one with pictures, video and hormones. First you were wobbly on a 10 speed, then you were ashing a ciggie on a bunnies head, then you were talking to your little girl costar and then all our ovaries spontaneously combusted in unison around the world because of the cute overload. At about 3PM, after my 15th viewing of a video of you filming, I was begging for mercy, and I NEVER beg for mercy wherever you’re concerned so it must have been Rob overload. To help alleviate the insanity of it all UC and I couldn’t help but caption our way through picture after picture, sending our favorites and then laughing our faces off… and since it would be a mortal sin not to share these pictures we will AND we’ll tell you exactly what you’re thinking. Because you told us. And we can read your mind. We’re Edward. Duh.

heh… heh… kristen’s cat is gonna die someday

This kind of stuff just doesn’t exist in my world… it does in mine!
Wait… wrong movie Rob, this is Remember Me!

What’s it to you little girl? You think life is all just Barbies, and Yoohoo and movie stars? Yea, well I’m here to tell you it’s not! Sometimes there are bunnies! And you just have to deal, damnit!

I can’t believe my life! Guaranteed there’s some people on twitter swooning over me and this lil’ kid. Jokes on then! I hate kids! I hate this girl! She stole my snack, bitch!

Ok, ok… fine you’re kinda cute

Oh my god, you’re killing me! I know right? It’s un-freakin-believable… Mr. Bunny.. I’m so glad we had this little chat…

So this is what it’s like to be a girl? What are they complaining about? This position is GREAT!

If I wear this blue shirt I stole from a Club Med employee over my Russian Immigrant Vodka shirt that reeks of B.O., surely the crazies will realize I have zero taste and I’m not the hunk they think I am… (Courtesy of EastFriend)

So what’s the over under on whether one of those women would give me a kidney if I asked right now? Oh you’re not a betting lady? Your loss.

Wait, your older sister said to tell me she’d do WHAT??

WHERE?! Behind a dumpster? Is that legal in New York? How old are you again?

Dear Rob… AGAIN?? Damn these Letters Bitches weren’t lying when they said they write a letter every day

Yes, Robbie dear we’re SO for serious about these letters every day. If you keep reading (and even if you don’t) we’ll keep writing. Also a word of warning… please be gentle with me today, I don’t know if I can handle this much sexy today and still be able to talk coherently.

You’ve been warned, now don’t be naughty! Or else!

Kellan canceled his tickets on the Twilight Cruise! Whatever will we do?
Wanna see anything Twilight or Rob related that’s been on TV over the last decade? Yea, check out Jena’s treats at the forum! She has EVERYTHING! For serious!


  1. “WHERE?! Behind a dumpster? Is that legal in New York? How old are you again?”


    Rob in the missionary position in a Alice in Wonderland sculpture? It’s like my FF-ruined mind is even more seriously ruined than I realised.

    P.S. Rob, fuck the Gucci sunglasses. Bring back your Ray Bans. No matter how hideous your limited wardrobe might be, the Ray Bans are all-forgiving. Trust me on this. Thank you.

    • haha.. i think that was supposed to be a position in the obgyn office… (actually i know… since i did the caption) but i like where your mind is….

      • check the title of the pic! i changed it up a squosh

        • Oh, but you are good to us, Moon.

    • Dear Rob,

      Photos on Popsugar today show that the Ray Bans are back.

      It’s one thing to see you drinking Pepsi in the name of ‘product placement’, but to see you wear Gucci sunglasses instead of the Rays was wrong. Just plain wrong.

      Any time you need Ray Ban advice, you just ask, okay?

  2. Yep for Rob I’ll be ‘that girl’ in ‘that position’ or any position for that matter…….
    Love the captions, you girls rock and make my day every day ❤

  3. Your captions were fantastic, as always. If I send you the pictures I took when I visited the set yesterday, can you give them funny captions, too? Though most of mine probably don’t lend themselves to funny – I focused on capturing all the hand in the hair action. And I’m not surprised that there are so many pics to choose from – there were at least 2 dozen paps there all day, with those crazy cameras with the 2 foot long telephoto lenses, like they use at sporting events.

    • YOU WENT!? girl! email! now! recap! needed!


    • milfy!!!!!!!! you cant say that and not share!!!!

  4. Bwahahahahaha! I can’t stop laughing!

    My faves:

    “I hate this girl! She stole my snack, bitch!”

    “Mr. Bunny.. I’m so glad we had this little chat…”

    I’m lmao over here. =D

  5. I know, right!?! Like yesterday was too freakin’ much! I got zero work done and just about squeeled every 5 min. Now I’m totally f-ed today.
    And the memory of that sweet patch of skin exposed by the wind whipping his shirt up will forever be burned in my memory. Shiz, I sould like a Harlequin romance novelist.

    • i know. i was incapacitated.

      • wait.. does that mean my head fell off? cuz i didn’t mean that..

        • Uh, decapitated, but that’s quite possible too. haha Spontaneous combustion?

      • Incapacitated = a state arrived at by consuming vast amounts of alcohol…..

        Something we WTV’s can do very well I’m sure {after all we have to keep up with the Master, yes I read the sub/the dom, mmmm}.

        Decapitated = to loose one’s head…….

        Something Rob makes us do regularly {mind wanders to finding head to ‘giving’ head hhmmmmm…sorry one of those days today}….

        • we could be incapitated off of rob’s presence… haha
          add the alcohol in and we’re havin a jolly holly time!

  6. Totally unrelated, but not. I was reading a Rob post on The Awful Truth yesterday (don’t judge!) and I got to the comments. For once, there was a funny one on there by… UC. You go girl. Although pearls, swine, you see where I’m going here.

    • haha… i can’t leave a normal comment. must.always.comment.funny

  7. oh man, rob in that small white shirt with the (somewhat weird) short sleeves? EFFING HOT!
    I was totally unprepared for how badly i wanted to bang him after i saw him wearing that shirt.

    and the pics of rob with that cute little girl? jeebus, it was cuteness overload. so that’s how he would look playing with our kids. *sighs*
    oh and as an added bonus, twifans no longer have to look for random “man and kid/baby pics” to create pretend pics of edward and renesmee so happiness all around!

  8. Today’s post Was PRICELESS I can’t tell you How perfect it is in everyway .. I loved all the captions .. and the one about Kristen’s cat .. that was AWSOME ..LOL

    “Wait, your older sister said to tell me she’d do WHAT??”
    “WHERE?! Behind a dumpster? Is that legal in New York? How old are you again?”
    I really don’t know what to say about these .. I can’t stop laughing to comment 🙂

  9. These were classic and a great way to start off the day. I personally fell alittle more for Rob with the pics with the little girl from yesterday…

  10. Hahah! Just last night, my friend and I were creating captions for his “surprised” look with that little girl. Your captions are total win though.

    “Wait, your older sister said to tell me she’d do WHAT??”

    That is EXACTLY what my little sister would be saying to Rob if she met him.

  11. Yes your captions are great!

    The picture of him laying with his legs wide open is really torturing me! Have mercy!


  12. So this is what it’s like to be a girl? What are they complaining about? This position is GREAT!


    hahahha!!!! i loooooooove the pic w/ the caption
    ok your kinda cute!

    he looks amazzzzing!! i def had a good laugh. its a good thing that there’s no one here at work just yet bc i def did LOL!

    • I totally agree! Love that line!!

    • you said ‘amazeballs!”

    • Yay, someone else who uses Amazeballs regularly! Damn that Perez for getting it stuck in my head!

    • HAHAH i knoww! im hooked! thankkk youuuu perez!

  13. He needs to do more movies with kids.

    He is going to single handedly keep the OB/GYN doctors of the world in business.

    Captions are perfect:

    “Wait, your older sister said to tell me she’d do WHAT??”

    Fess up, which one of the LTR ladies paid this little girl to tell him that???

  14. yesterday was the best Rob Porn day in a while…*sigh* even though I really still have no clue what the heck this movie is even about!

  15. I LOVE all the different captions for the pics from yesterday. Luckily, we had plenty to choose from and play with (that’s what she said!).

    • that’s what eddie said!

      • Total Eddie derail –> I know exactly what van Eddie drives . . . Tyler’s wrecked-but-miraculously-okay-for-a-trip-to-the-beach van. Eddie bought it off him cheap because of the giant handprint in the side.

        Approximately the worst, lowest resolution screenshot known to man:

        • the twi-shag mobile?! haha
          i def laughed when i saw that one hahaha

          • the shaggin wagon!

            dude i totally forgot that he ran her over in that truck and then they took it to the beach! HAHAH OOPS

  16. Hee! Kristen’s cat! That’s one of my favorite interview moments with him. Mainly because that’s the sort of thing a pesky brother would say. You don’t tell a girl her cat will die soon when you are trying to get into her pants.

    • exactly. pesky brother. therefore they are NOT together. Robsten does not live..

      i hope…..

    • hit the nail on the head jodie! you dont tell someone you wanna get with their cat is gonna bite the dust

      • OR he’s just so socially akward that he doesn’t think about what’s coming out of his mouth.

        …That’s what she said?

        Really. I think he just says whatever comes to mind. This is why these cpations are TRUTH!

  17. Moon. Brilliant.
    love the ‘you’re not a better girl’ one (i’ll give you my kidney rob)
    the letters one (of course)
    and the ‘your older sister’ one.


    • yes no probs and thanks for getting this one rolling!

  18. Oh, the dumpster references.

    Is that legal in New York?
    No, seriously. Is it? Well what if you don’t get caught?

    I have a sick and terrible mind.

    • No, no…this is a pertinent question…anyone?

    • in a fortnight it will be even better….

      • “Fortnight.”

        I’m counting on it.

        Oh, and yes…I DO love you. Indeed.

    • Do you care if it’s legal? Rob says to you, “You. Me. Behind that dumpster. Now.” Are you going to say, “Wait, let me check the city code first?”

      • Rob says to you, “You. Me. Behind that dumpster. Now.”
        You say to Rob, “Yes Sir. how do you want me?” No other question, query worry…….My waking day dream voiced out loud we truely are all spiritual sisters here….

      • i ALWAYS carry a copy of the PENIEL code with me everywhere. uh huh.

  19. “So this is what it’s like to be a girl? What are they complaining about? This position is GREAT!”


    “heh… heh… kristen’s cat is gonna die someday”

    Hilarious! These are hilarious!

    “Wait, your older sister said to tell me she’d do WHAT?? WHERE?! Behind a dumpster? Is that legal in New York? How old are you again?”

    I can’t stop laughing!

  20. Love them all, but this one has to be my fav!

    “What’s it to you little girl? You think life is all just Barbies, and Yoohoo and movie stars? Yea, well I’m here to tell you it’s not! Sometimes there are bunnies! And you just have to deal, damnit!”

    Why you gotta put out the ciggy on the bunny’s head? Poor bunny.

  21. I lurv action captioning – Good Job!

  22. Hahahahahaha!

    You picked some gems. My fave, I think, is the “Bunny Chat” one. Somehow I missed that one yesterday with the sexplosion of photos that I had to catch up on at night cuz work was super Nuts!

    I love action capitoning. Keep ’em coming!


  23. Yesterday’s pics were pure gold dust and today’s LTR is also ….

  24. “She stole my snack. Bitch!” is easily my fav. Ok, no, that’s not true, I can’t pick a fav. Hilarious.

  25. Is he trying to kill us, no really….this is not a rhetorical question, is he trying to kill us?

    Cause I figured my inappropriate crush would wane sooner than later, I run hot and cold like that. But clearly, I am in trouble. Can’t he just, I don’t know….get fat and flabby, or get caught in a compromising position with Paris Hilton, or start quoting Nacho Libre in interviews, or confess to banging two co-stars and possibly his best friend, or not recycle, or go bald, or begin wearing dockers, or attend Mariah Carey concerts, or….

    Nah…I’d still want him…damn.

    • Quoting Nacho Libre….

      LMAO!!! I so want that!

    • dockers!

  26. I’ve been on vacay for a week… so good to get back on and see all the WIN CAPTIONS! Seriously, if you ever start an intern program… I can be had… real cheap!

    i almost don’t want Rob to finish the TL series. I enjoy seeing him look normal! He looks very relaxed working with children. Nice eyes and face and smiles. ALL WIN!


    • you can be our unofficial intern. first task. find rob. bring him to us.

  27. Oh, and the photo captions, and quad days are my favs!

    • Especially Mr. Bunny!

  28. LMFAO best captions!

    “So what’s the over under on whether one of those women would give me a kidney if I asked right now? Oh you’re not a betting lady? Your loss.”

  29. p.s. – Someone may have touched on this already, but how many girls, do you think, are going to show up in Central Park to reenact this scene on the Alice and Wonderland statue? Hundreds? Thousands? I’d like to start a betting pool.

    I’d also like to DO him on that bronze mushroom. Just sayin’.

    • haha… we should take bets on THAT!

      • u r soooo right Katie!!!! those statues are going to be so visited!

        great post! cant stop laughing!
        best pic… ok u r kinda cute! & heh… heh… kristen’s cat is gonna die someday!

        hahahahaha thank u for make me luagh!!!! today has been a bad morning.

        • Oh sorry to hear about it being a bad morning.. never fun.

          Yeah I’d take that bet too. Reenact the scene, or rub up against or lick the statues inappropriately. (ewww)

      • YOU HAVE TO TAKE P.E. to the mushroom you MUST!!! us girls here in Europe that can’t get P.E. live for your posts pleasepleaseplease……

    • I’ll be in Central Park next week doing just that…will report back how many folks I have to beat off with a stick to get to Rob’s little spot 😉

  30. I just woke up from a great dream rolled over and grabed my iPhone had to tell you guys about it. I won’t go into details but let’s just say in my dream rob and I were on that bunny and I was dressed in that little private school uniform however I was not playing his sister ifyaknowwhatimean.

    • LOL idoknowwhatyoumean… after surviving… err, I mean attending… Catholic grade school in which we had to wear similar uniforms… mmm yes I’ve had some dirty little fantasies myself since seeing that girl in that uniform…. well, youknowwhat*I*mean teehee 😉

      • I wore those little gems in Catholic school as well. I hated them back then, but I’m glad I held on to the skirts. They came in quite handy later. (ahem)

        p.s. – Do you have Post Traumatic Stress from grade school? I hear it’s common. 😉

  31. “Wait, your older sister said to tell me she’d do WHAT??”
    “WHERE?! Behind a dumpster? Is that legal in New York? How old are you again?”

    love, love, love it!

  32. SUPERB!

  33. Life 301 in 140 or less is not my bag, so let me repeat myself in just one: SUPERB!

  34. This kind of stuff just doesn’t exist in my world… it does in mine!
    Wait… wrong movie Rob, this is Remember Me! — Ahem Rob, are you sleep talking again. Even when you are not sleeping. I told you to be careful when you shoot hun. But its okay, you can reshoot the scene.

    *Girls, honestly, this caption=EPIC WIN. Love it*

    …well I’m here to tell you it’s not! Sometimes there are bunnies! And you just have to deal, damnit! — why are you complaining about Bunnies. You seem to be all up for it when we played dress up behind the dumpster. You are the bunny and i was the lion. Rob…RAWRRRRR


    So this is what it’s like to be a girl? What are they complaining about? This position is GREAT! — I never complain and you know that. You always give me pleasure.


  35. who is moderating what? it ain’t possible to moderate one word without altering (?) it–must i be a member to comment on the best Robporn i’ve seen today–send me an e-mail, please–i do exist–i really, really do!

  36. More info from my set visit:

    3 friends and I went yesterday. Checked a very helpful website –, which told us where to go. We showed up at 11am, so we missed the rehearsal on the Alice & Wonderland statue – too bad, those are pretty hilarious pictures.

    We stood on 5th Ave & 76th street, across the street from his trailer, along with at least 50 other stalkers/girls. After 1/2 hr, one of the P.A.s came over to us and cleared a path for Rob. We had to promise not to run into the street and attack him or yell at him when he came out of his trailer. The paps all lined up on the other side. Then his body guards and personal assistants and other folks formed a circle around him and walked him across 5th Ave and into the park. (I have a picture to share, but I don’t know how to insert it here)

    When he was safely at the set, we were allowed to follow down and stand on the other side of the path from the statue. Then we watched them film the scene a few times. I took a lot of pictures – he touched his hair a lot during the breaks – I like that Robporn the best, so I captured that a few dozen times. Again – if I knew how to insert a pic here, I would.

    Then he put the RayBans back on (or are they Gucci now?) and the bodyguard group reconvened. Rob paused to take a pic with some girl who must have a connection on set – she was sitting with a bunch of the crew. He put his arm around her and sort of smiled for her phone camera. Then the posse walked him back to his trailer and we took a lunch break.

    We wound up at a deli a few blocks away with one of his personal assistants. My friend suggested that she would offer to um “take care” of the guy if it got us Rob access. We just laughed an laughed. “Taking one for the team” she called it. Really, giving one for the team. We watched this guy like a hawk. Was the chicken noodle soup and tuna on a roll for our boy? I then trailed the guy into the drug store to see what he was buying. Ciggys for Rob? Condoms? We worked ourselves up into a frenzy – but it was just 2 large bottles of water. We trailed this dude back to the set, but he must have known by that point that we were following him and he sprinted across Park to beat the light and lose us. I would have run, too, but my girlfriends weren’t that committed. Wimps.

    So, we went back to the park and sat on some benches and ate our lunches (which was really hard to do – I was too nervous/excited to eat!) and waited for Rob to return. Unfortunately, by then (it was 2pm), the crowd had swelled to at least 200 and at least 2 dozen paps. So, after all the waiting, we were very disappointed when Rob was packed into a car and driven into Central Park from the other side! His crew of protectors then led him down a hill and on to the set. All the fan girls were lined up behind fence like barricades and kept a very safe distance away.

    To our great annoyance, the paps were given much better access than the fans. They were lined up on the other side of a path from us, between us and the set. It was very hard to take pictures in the afternoon because the set was in the shade. Rob spent a good amount of time behind a black screen getting his makeup done – this scene must be after the fight scene, cause they made him look all bruised.

    Finally, they rehearsed and filmed a scene where he is talking to the cute girl that plays his little sister. Did I mention that I have a 3 degrees of separation connection to her? Her name is Ruby. Anyway, she walked on a bench and he walked next to her, rolling his bicycle.

    During this scene was the only time we heard him speak. At the end of the walk, he would lean on the bicycle and put one leg on the bench and talk to Ruby. But one time, he put both legs up. The director called cut and said “right leg up only” and Rob repeated it loudly. All us fan girls then oohed and ahhed because we had actually heard him speak! There was much analysis of the comment (not that any was needed – I did mock one or two teenagers near me for their swooning over his repeating his blocking directions).

    After filming that a few times, they moved the whole scene one bench further from all of us. Now it was 4pm and the sky had gotten really dark. I decided to leave before I got poured on. I chatted up one of the P.A.s briefly – he had been in charge of all of us – keeping us quiet and reminding everyone over and over to turn off their flashes on their cameras. I asked him what his job title was. he said “security production ass’t” and I said that it thought it might be “fan girl wrangler” and he laughed and admitted that it was pretty much what he had been reduced to. I was just laying the groundwork so when I visit again, maybe he’ll recognize me and remember how funny/clever I am, so he’ll agree to give Rob a note from me.

    Anyway – I’ve got 100 pics I would love to share with the LTR girls, but I don’t know how to upload them onto this site. Just tell me how and I will.

    • Send them to LTR headquarters or post them in the forum, I would really like to see them all. What a great day you had watching the set. What a commitment standing there for hours. I am always jealous reading set reports but always too lazy to go anywhere. I wanted to go set stalking in Montepulciano, then decided not to.

      UC, Moon, captions: “I’m not worty!” bowdown

    • amazing. yes. email me pics. i emaield you:)

  37. UC, you are brilliant; HOW do you come up with these captions? I love it when you do these;they make my day!!
    tiffany and sloopy1975: I know what you mean about the Catholic school uniform, went to 12 years of it myself and that fantasy stays in my head forever!!
    UC: “white shirt = o.m.g. – I secomd that; I just wished that he would’ve had to raise his arms in the air at some point. Oh. well, it’s probably coming up soon!!!!

    • well, i helped, but today was Moon’s day to “do rob”

  38. Oh, and I forgot to say that I loved the Dumpster comment (wanting to be a RobDumpster-Lurker) and “Sometimes there are bunnies…” priceless!!!!

  39. I went to NYC last Spring and my guy friend who lived there didn’t know where the Alice in Wonderland statue was in Central Park. He had NEVER EVEN HEARD OF IT!! I was pissed I didn’t get to see it. It’s at 5th and 75th or something and I’m finding that shit at Christmas. I’m jealous of Rob for being able to play on it. ::le sigh:: And I love him.


  40. Oh I love you two! I just knew you would decipher what he was really thinking! I guess we are lucky he gives us such great material to work with, all those expressions and quirky, idiotic moves. Reading your site everyday makes me feel my Robsession is almost……normal. Many thanks. 🙂 My fav is the “your sister said she’d do what..?” and the pic that follows. I bet it echos whats in my mind too.

  41. I’m in the world’s most boring staff meeting. Thank you for providing some entertainment!!

  42. What’s with all the 6 year olds? WTF is this film about? Is it a remake of Alice in wonderland?

    Will Rob be arrested for schtuping a minor? Will he be arrested for smoking in New York? Or for being too hawt without carrying a health warning? Tune in tomorrow for another episode of “Soap”!

  43. “So what’s the over under on whether one of those women would give me a kidney if I asked right now? Oh you’re not a betting lady? Your loss.”

    hahahahahahahaha ROFLMAO


    *showme raises her hand*

    Do you think he’d marry me if i did?

    or you know, i settle for giving me a hug, kissing on the cheek, staring at me, talking to me, smiling at me, hearing him giggle, holding my hand during surgery….

    what’s a kidney to THAT goodness..LOL

  44. Gold, all gold ladies! And totally worth all the weird looks I got in starbucks while snort laughing through this whole post. I have to say that my fave was def “WHERE?! Behind a dumpster? Is that legal in New York? How old are you again?” The look on his face in that one is effing priceless!

  45. Hehehehe can’t stop giggling.
    once again, great job ladies!

    Happy Canada Day to my fellow canadians~!

    • happy canada day! someone asked me what that was.. and i said “it’s just like 4th of july” is that true!? i think i made it up…

  46. […] This post was Twitted by katelin […]

  47. Great Post! Hilarious! “Damn these letter bitches” Come on, you know he loooves your letters and I do too!

  48. Heeeee!!!! Loving the captions!!

  49. If I ever hear Rob tell Oprah that “beneath the man you find his nucleus” he will own my heart forever.
    Or if a fan girl offers him a corn on the cob to which he replies “get that corn outta my face!”

    A girl can dream…
    Nacho+Rob=solid gold

  50. The kidney caption cracked me up and made me a little ashamed at the same time.

    I would totally give him a kidney.

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