Dear Rob,

This mash up of sound from you and your costars during the New Moon press junket made me laugh my arse off, especially when Taylor joins it… Don’t you love it when someones finally super creative with a video and doesn’t just use a bunch of pictures of you with some crappy song by Savage Garden playing over it? Yea, me too.

ummmm

and this one still cracks me up

I’m a weirdo like that,
Themoonisdown

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTT, Twitter

Dear Rob,

Remember the days when we used to post ONE RobPorn and call that a blog post? Those days are LONG gone now that our friend and LTR reader, Alice from Not an Addikt, upped the ante with TWENTY-SEVEN RobPorn images of you baking her blog partner, Bella, birthday cupcakes!!!!

see MANY more after the jump!

2010!

Dear Rob,

Because there’s like absolutely NOTHING going on in the Twi/Rob world and because that Girl with the shoe on her shirt and any news about your time on the Isle of WIGHT PWNS me, I read this little tid bit about your New Years Eve celebration over at our pals Spunk-Ransom.com.

The lovely bar owner fills us in on your New Years Eve spent on the lovely island has his fine drinking establishment. And of course it got me to thinking about what your night was really like and why on earth did you end up at that place?
c

The site of the most amazing New Years Eve party ever partied

While figuring out where to go on New Years Eve is a huge item of contention among my friends because going anywhere in LA basically means ponying up some serious coin to even get into any sort of facility with a bar and disco ball, you guys opted for a more rural approach. As it turns out you, KStew and the mysterious “friends” chose to ring in the new decade at some place called the Winter Gardens. Which sounds like the lamest place ever created but after 1 minute much research I figured out that Winter Gardens is some sort of beer garden that is also the site of both town council meetings (FREE event yall!) AND wrestling matches (tru fax, you can google it). Klassy with a K! And instead of throwing down serious coinage, you paid a 5 dollar cover fee and drank your way into oblivion the New Year with 1.50 shots. YES you read that right A DOLLAR FIFTY!!!!!!! You couldn’t even look at a bouncer for a buck fiddy at places around here much less drink yourself silly on spare change you found in Clare’s couch. Now I’m not sure who’s the jackass, probably me, but you were at a beer garden with your secret lady friend getting wasted off “Screaming Orgasms” and “Slippery Nipples” or whatever other lame-o shots you and your friends ordered while trying not to giggle like a junior high boy in his first sex ed. class.

Follow the cut to read the rest, for a surprise and for more naughty shot names

Dear Rob,

I bet when you took that call from that Summit Exec (only because once when you were at a meeting he stole your phone and changed his name on your phone from “Exec at Summit- always ignore” to “Hot Pocket Delivery Truck”) asking you to answer a few fan questions from the Remember Me fan page on Facebook you had no idea you were going to be asked 4,461 questions. Well, you were. And that number is daunting. How do you pick just a few to answer? Do you just go with the first or last 20 because that’s the easiest? Maybe look for 20 that were obviously asked without the use of google translator? You’re a busy guy! Why should YOU be picking questions to answer anyway? You’ve got romantic getaways on cold islands to get to and pictures with shoe shirt little girls to take. Have no fear, I am here to save the day. I have picked out some of the best questions for you to answer, as well, as given you some answer options in case you’re really that lazy.

Andrew
By watching the trailer it looks like the story has multiple layers. What’s the story about?

You’re right. It does have multiple layers. There is a layer of confusion plus another layer of…I have no idea. I acted in it, I saw the trailer and even saw the final product and I’m still not sure what this movie is about. I think Moon was close with her guesses back in the summer. However, I notice your name is Andrew. Are you…. a guy! If so, how spectacular! I had no idea I had male fans! Let’s grab a pint sometime! And talk about boobs!

Holly
I love you Robert. (:

I don’t know how to answer this question

Yep. Just like real life

Fanny
Is the Remember Me story related in some way to your own life??? or the part that you play??

Yes. It’s quite a coincidence since it was written by two screenwriters who I didn’t meet until I signed onto the film, but that’s why I signed on. I read it and was like, “Holy S*it! They got me completely” It was kinda creepy actually… they even have Tyler wearing the same brand of underwear that I wear.. and he really loves microwavable food…. Anyway, yes, it is quite autobiographical. The love for 90s grunge clothes, food fights after sex and getting into bar brawls in the streets of New York City are completely Rob Pattinson moves.

MandiJo
hey rob, dont mean to sound stalkerish but i have watched every movie that you have been in and i love all of them, your distinct acting intrigues me!! I was just wondering what a cherished memory of yours is, what always makes you smile when you think about it?

Why, MandiJo, I cherish the moment you asked me this question. It was when you asked me such a beautiful question and chose to keep my name and the word “I” lowercase and refused to use an apostrophe that the clouds parted, birds began to sing and I realized that you, MandiJo, my possible stalker, are the one I want to cherish for the rest of my life. But before you? One time TomStu and I egged Sam Bradley’s house. It was worth it just to see his mom come screaming outside in her nighty.

Isabella
Hello, Robert Pattinson. I really admire you. I am your secret admirer. I have a question. Are you really so fond of Kristen Stewart, that made her an offer?

Yes. And it was an offer she couldn’t refuse. I told her I’d show “it” to her if she’d always make sure to look less good than me in public. “IT” of course being my Hot Pocket Fort.

Valeria
Hi!!!! well…… I LOVE YOU!!!!! you can be my friend please???

No.

Read more, if you dare, after the jump!

*On the heels of another (not intentionally) wild day we let Freya take the reigns and try to beat some sense into us all about both Paparazzi and Fan pictures… laugh with her, cry with her, send her a muffin basket and a 5th of Makers. Take it away Freya…*

Listen up: RESPECT ME!

Dear Rob,

Oscar Wilde once said “The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.”  Believe me, we know you’re being talked about (witness an entire site writing letters to you), but recently there has been an outcry across the fandom about paparazzi and fan pictures of you.  The demand being squealed from hardcore fans?  “RESPECT ROB!”  This has been accompanied by many sadface pictures of you, along with the assertion that “Rob doesn’t want this, and neither do we!”  Grown women have taken pictures of themselves with one arm over their faces to show solidarity and called a little girl a “sell out” and “not a true fan.”  I wonder, however, if that is precisely the truth.  Are you, indeed, going back to your luxury hotel at night after drinking beer with various members of the Britpack, weeping into your 300-threadcount sheets?  Do you boo-hoo and blubber that “The paparazzi are so MEAN to me!  Why do they take my picture all the time?  I just want to be NORMAL!”, soaking the fine down pillow with your salty tears?

God, I hope not.  Because then, Robert Pattinson, you would be a gigantic pussy and I have this thing about not wanting to ravage gigantic pussies.  (I’m a heterosexual female like that.)  Or if you’re not a puss, then you’re incredibly naïve.  If you didn’t know what might happen to you going into the film business after working on a Harry Potter film, you did just fall off the turnip truck.

Respect me while I smoke this...

See, I want you to stay famous.  I want sexy red carpet pictures and moody Vanity Fair pictures (can I take that lobster bib off for you?  With my teeth?), but I also want goofy air guitar pictures and drunk Rob (*ahem* Janetrigs—your fave).  I want pictures of you taking off your shoes at security where your boxers are peeking saucily out of the top of your jeans, lingering tantalizingly under a strip of naked lower back. And I want picture of you with cute little girls who probably called you “Edward” when they met you on vacation. This is the media age.  Paparazzi follow the famous; it keeps celebrities in the public eye, which makes those stars more marketable, which means that these stars are more likely to get roles in films that they want, make lots of money, and allow us to be the giggling fangirls that we are.

Not convinced about the necessity of those mean paps yet?  Let me tell you about my great fear, Rob.  I’m afraid that you will realize too late what a service those pictures are doing you.  That you will find yourself unable to get the roles you want, as all that respect dropped you off the radar.  And I am afraid that you will begin to perform horrible publicity stunts.  Let me tell you what I envision in my lowest moments.

Opening a Taco Bell in Des Moines: Robsten 2012!

Nightmare scenario #1:  In the manner of “Speidi”—Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt.  (This scenario rated NSFN—Not safe for Nonstens.)  This scenario involves the Stew, as presumably the #RespectRob campaign will eventually become #RespectStew as well, for those on the Robsten train.  You and Kristen will no longer hide your “relationship”, but instead will flaunt it.  You’ll call the media and walk hand in hand down Robertson Blvd, jokingly telling the press that you’re going to name it “Robsten Blvd” in honor of your lurve.  KStew will go to those celebrity plastic surgeons on those E! reality shows for a boob job, and then will appear in a bikini on the cover of Life & Style.  You will take suggestive trips to the grocery store together, where you will push Kristen in the cart and she will stroke a banana meaningfully while giving the old wink ‘n’ nod to your crotch as the TMZ cameras roll.  Rob, you’re from England.  You will understand what I mean when I say DON’T BE A PRAT(T).

Follow the cut for more or less respect, the introduction to Roboyle and more

Were you planning on throwing out that shirt? I have an old holey pair of jeans that would look great with it...

Dear Rob,

So you and Kristen were caught, huh? Are you freaking out? You thought you had at least another year plus didn’t you? Until Breaking Dawn promotion began and you and Kristen were inevitably on a late night TV show where they introduce a clip from the film and you realize it’s “the one” and decide to right then and there kiss Kristen with tongue in front of the live audience so that they don’t have to see the disaster that is the Breaking Dawn birth scene on film? Don’t panic. Sure the Robsteners are celebrating the moment of you, Kristen & the little girl who has a shoe on her shirt, but the nonsteners still aren’t convinced. Take these two comments on came across on this blog’s version of the story:

Susannah says:
I dont think much of the British fan who gave the photo to the press. I dont consider them a fan, I consider them a betrayer. Is there any wonder that Robert and Kristen become more reluctant to pose with fans, if all that fan does is betray that kindness. Sorry Rob, I am in the UK and a more mature fan, and I am shamed that people in your home country can be so thoughtless of your privacy. Come on people wake up, they are not our property and are entitled to live private lives just as you and I are. I reiterate the early comment – leave them alone!!!!!!!!!!!

Jennifer says:
I think all this is bullcrap. The story is made up and the picture may be old. There is no actual proof that they are dating, yet everyone is eating up the stories that they are. Also, why can’t they just be friends? How come whenever they’re seen together outside of Twilight, they have to be dating. Geez louise, people. Just because you see two actors that play each onscreen love interest does not mean that they are dating. I don’t know why I said that. You all won’t

Jennifer says
That’s still not proof that they are dating…

You can fix this yet. And everyone else who doesn’t fit in the Nonsten or Robsten catagory? Aka the majority of the world? They don’t give a shit.

Here are some reasons you can give when you are asked the inevitable: Why is Kristen in the UK? Are you two together? Have you been sleeping together since she was underage? Did you make a deal with Chris Hansen that you’d stay away from Kristen until her 18th birthday as long as you’d introduce him to Ashley Greene? How is your love-making by the fire going? Is your bear-skin rub soft enough? I am confident you will find any of these answers satisfactory to explain why Kristen is visiting and you can, once again, go back to your private lives of pretending you’re not together:

• Kristen likes Dick. And wanted to visit him

• Kristen racked up some frequent flyer miles this year and had some time to kill over the New Years holiday and wanted to get out of LA since her two closest friends of days past (Nikki & Oregano) are on longer in her life. She decided to jump the pond to the UK and while there look up her buddy Rob for a few pints and fish & chips.

• Kristen found out Miley Cyrus & Lady Gaga have met the queen and got real pissed that she hasn’t had that chance yet. And the queen is old family friends with the Pattinson family so…

• You and Kristen are entering witness protection from Catherine Hardwicke
  More reasons after the jump!

*Welcome back to our regularly occurring post we have called “How I fell for Rob” where LTR readers write Rob a letter explaining how they fell for him. Today, Heathcliff writes a hilarious letter for us*

Where it all starts for Heathcliff

Dear Rob,

Well, by now you know but perhaps you still don’t fully understand the mania.  You’re wondering… What is it about you that makes you so irresistible and addictive?  I’ve heard you say in interviews that you don’t get it, and I have friends on the “outside” who share your opinion.  I don’t say this to insult your intelligence, Rob, but those “friends” of mine?  They’re idiots.  So I’ll try to explain it to you, just like I try to explain it to them.  It’s kind of like explaining what a sunset looks like to a blind man, or what a comb looks like to Kristen Stewart… but I’ll try.

Like everyone else, I wasn’t always obsessed with you.  I saw you in The Goblet of Fire.  You were hot, in a wonderfully Cedric sort of way.

But the first time I looked at you and felt my girly bits get tingly was the profile shot of you from the kissing scene in Twilight.  I guess you don’t get much of an opportunity to see your sideburns, your hairline, or the wonderfully lickable mole that skirts along it.  So I’m here to tell you– you look hot from the side.  Well, it soon became apparent to me that you look hot from every angle, but this was the first one in a long line of them that “did it” for me.  But I wasn’t obsessed yet.

God bless this scene

I read Twilight the week before the movie came out.  I didn’t plan it that way, it just sort of fatefully happened.  I finished the book on Thursday and went to see the movie the next day– the premiere day– by myself on a cold, dreary November day.  I still barely knew your name, and when you walked into the cafeteria to the sound of Lizzie’s voice, the girl behind me kicked my chair and squealed.  Literally… squealed.  I scoffed and rolled my eyes at her and the rest of the teenagers in the theater.  I felt a little out of my element there, being 27 and the oldest person in front of the screen.  Before the movie even started, I heard a girl telling the mortifying story of having her dad overhear her conversation about birth control pills.  Yep, I was definitely feeling too old for this.

What happened afterwards was sort of a blur, but I’ll try to recount.  I saw the movie in the theater four more times.  I maniacally looked for pirated, low-quality YouTube clips of it and tried to string them all together into a playlist so I could “watch” at home.  I watched you eye fuck Kristen as you talked about being “frustraTed” and told her how watching her sleep was kind of fascinating to you.  I watched your lips curve up into that adorable half-smirk as you murmured to her, “Well, I could always make you” in Edward’s bedroom.  I did all of these things multiple times a day, with the repetitive obsession of a twelve-year-old boy who has just discovered Internet porn.

Read the rest after the jump

Dear Rob,

I had this amazing idea of kicking off our first Saturday morning delight post in 2010 with the BEST videos we posted in 2009, but I started looking at all the past letters and videos we posted and I got distracted watching them all. I think 3 hours went by and I STILL couldn’t decide which were my favorites. So I decide instead to kick off Saturday AM delights in 2010 with some of the best videos that I had forgotten about, from the past year! Enjoy!

UnintendedChoice

The one where we feel like a creeper

The one where we get hot

The one where I get hungry for candy

It’s like a porn I can’t stop watching…

The ones where we remember why we heart Rob so much….

The one we’ve watched more than any other in 2009!

If I missed any of your favorites, post them in the comments!

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTT, Twitter

Dear Rob and your lovers (aka you guys reading this),

It’s New Years Day and I’m pretty sure you’re all hung over from drinking too much champy and starting fake count downs just so you can kiss that hot guy or girl that came to the party you were at. Trust me, I understand. But anyway since I’m sure you’re reading this with one eye barely open,  one hand on a bottle of water, and about 20 empty champs bottles rolling around under your bed I thought we could take it a little easy and give you some hot eye candy aka Biel’s new video of hottness… she truly is gifted…

Whew… what were we talking about? Yes… New Years… So did you kiss anyone? Did you make any resolutions? Share and share alike people!

Happy 2010!
Themoonisdown

Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum, LTT, Twitter

Dear Rob,

Is it really the end of 2009? I have a suggestion for anyone wanting a year to pass by in the blink of an eye- run a blog about you. This year FLEW BY for me! It wouldn’t be the end of the year without telling you what our Rob-solutions are for 2010. So without further ado, in 2010 we promise to…

I printed out LTRs latest post to read before bed...

1. Have some sort of LTR representation at the Remember Me premiere cuz seriously, there’s going to be one in NYC right? I mean, the movie was shot there. It’d kinda be a kick in the face of NYC if there wasn’t a big screening or something you’d show up to. Plus it would make it SO much easier for me to be there. I’m pretty sure if I try to have THIS conversation with my husband, I won’t be going anywhere. “Hey hunny. I want to go to LA for the weekend to…. visit Moon” “You just saw her. And aren’t you going in June to see some stupid Twilight movie?” “Yes. But…. well, she’s sad. I want to comfort her” “Why is she sad?” “Uhh…something happened and… she…” “Are you lying?” “Um..” “Why do you really want to go to LA?” “Uh, Rob Pattinson has another movie…” “Is this one about vampires?” “No…..” “Will you lust over him more than you already do.” “Um…. probably” “You can’t go.” So with all the executive producer power bestowed on you, can you make a NYC premiere happen?
2. We vow to become BFF with Stephanie Ritz and while we’re out for a “girls day” Moon will distract her with the newest Blahniks at Barneys while I grab her phone and text you, as Stephenie, and ask you to meet her and her “hot new friends.”
3. When we watch Remember Me we’ll try to stifle our moans to only 3-4 times. It’s not really fair since Moon has already seen the movie and knows whats coming and can prepare herself, but I figure if I’m generous and allow her 1 moan and take her other 3, I can moan 7 times and it’ll all average out to 3-4 each.

a secret message




We can even take bets on how many times he will wear a shirt in a months time

4. In 2010 we will create a counter to tally every time you duplicate an outfit
5. Infiltrate the Land of Dreamers pyramid-scheme steet team for Sam, Bobby and Marcus by befriending them and learning their secrets. Then after being voted Vice Presidents, we will usurp the presidency with a hostile takeover. This will give us the freedom to drive the britpack EVERYWHERE they want to go when they’re in our town(s). Boys got the munchies at 4 am but we’re sleeping soundly? Too bad. We’re gonna get our asses up and take them to the 24 hour Sonic. Our jobs as presidents of a pyramid schemey street team depend on it.
6. Watch every film or TV show that Rob has ever been in enough times so that next time we’re together we can dramatically reenact important scenes for your viewing pleasure. Moon already called Daniel Gale, so I’ll reluctantly be Salvador Dali.  We were so excited about this resolution that we started discussing it yesterday:

   Moon: I can’t wait to see The Tuck
   UC: I can’t wait to do The Tuck
   Moon: oh wait… I can see The Tuck at any time!
   UC: Not mine!

Here’s to the BEST year in Rob-blogging EVER!

Drink a toast of champy for me tonight,
UnintendedChoice

After the jump, find out the results of Rob’s top 10 moments in 2009 PLUS some special eye candy!