Posted by: themoonisdown | January 3, 2010

How I Fell for Rob: She doesn’t want a cure!

*Welcome back to our regularly occurring post we have called “How I fell for Rob” where LTR readers write Rob a letter explaining how they fell for him. Today, Heathcliff writes a hilarious letter for us*

Where it all starts for Heathcliff

Dear Rob,

Well, by now you know but perhaps you still don’t fully understand the mania.  You’re wondering… What is it about you that makes you so irresistible and addictive?  I’ve heard you say in interviews that you don’t get it, and I have friends on the “outside” who share your opinion.  I don’t say this to insult your intelligence, Rob, but those “friends” of mine?  They’re idiots.  So I’ll try to explain it to you, just like I try to explain it to them.  It’s kind of like explaining what a sunset looks like to a blind man, or what a comb looks like to Kristen Stewart… but I’ll try.

Like everyone else, I wasn’t always obsessed with you.  I saw you in The Goblet of Fire.  You were hot, in a wonderfully Cedric sort of way.

But the first time I looked at you and felt my girly bits get tingly was the profile shot of you from the kissing scene in Twilight.  I guess you don’t get much of an opportunity to see your sideburns, your hairline, or the wonderfully lickable mole that skirts along it.  So I’m here to tell you– you look hot from the side.  Well, it soon became apparent to me that you look hot from every angle, but this was the first one in a long line of them that “did it” for me.  But I wasn’t obsessed yet.

God bless this scene

I read Twilight the week before the movie came out.  I didn’t plan it that way, it just sort of fatefully happened.  I finished the book on Thursday and went to see the movie the next day– the premiere day– by myself on a cold, dreary November day.  I still barely knew your name, and when you walked into the cafeteria to the sound of Lizzie’s voice, the girl behind me kicked my chair and squealed.  Literally… squealed.  I scoffed and rolled my eyes at her and the rest of the teenagers in the theater.  I felt a little out of my element there, being 27 and the oldest person in front of the screen.  Before the movie even started, I heard a girl telling the mortifying story of having her dad overhear her conversation about birth control pills.  Yep, I was definitely feeling too old for this.


What happened afterwards was sort of a blur, but I’ll try to recount.  I saw the movie in the theater four more times.  I maniacally looked for pirated, low-quality YouTube clips of it and tried to string them all together into a playlist so I could “watch” at home.  I watched you eye fuck Kristen as you talked about being “frustraTed” and told her how watching her sleep was kind of fascinating to you.  I watched your lips curve up into that adorable half-smirk as you murmured to her, “Well, I could always make you” in Edward’s bedroom.  I did all of these things multiple times a day, with the repetitive obsession of a twelve-year-old boy who has just discovered Internet porn.

Read the rest after the jump

Oh hey heeeey heeeey

Yep, I was definitely developing an obsession with you, what I would later learn is professionally termed a Robsession. I heard lots of talk about how people only liked you because you played Edward.  Well, I admit there was huge appeal in that.  If I wasn’t drooling over your sex hair or your one vamptastic tooth in the theater, I was, in fact, losing sleep over Edward’s love notes and leg hitches.  But to say that my obsession with Edward and my obsession with you are inextricably intwined, I’m afraid, would be a falsehood.


Because the moment when I realized I was in love with Robert Pattinson, completely separate and apart from Edward Cullen?  Well, if I had to pinpoint it, I would say it was the cumulative effect of watching every single interview or press junket you ever did that is available on YouTube.  Chief in my memory are the MTV ones with Kristen, where you joked so lightheartedly (and dorkily) about “Chilean kisses” (a joke which nobody got… yes, it was that bad, Rob); the one where you talked about how you hated your name and preferred to be called Spunk Ransom; or the one where you were baffled over people’s obsession with your hair, imitating their wonderings with, “It must be mousse!”

And then, as more and more people started to pay attention to you, and after my friend sent me a link to a little site called robsessedpattinson.com, I started getting multiple daily (and by that, I mean hourly) glimpses into Robert Pattinson, the man.  The dingy, devil-may-care, hobotastic clothes he wore.  The sexy way he stroked his hands through his hair.  The beautiful way he pronounced his T’s and the adorable way his eyebrows would scrunch together when he was thinking really hard about a question.

Just a big tool... yup

You know, Rob, on paper, you should be an absolute tool.  Honestly.  You seem too good to be true.  You play music– brilliantly, I might add– you have a perfect London accent that has been melting panties worldwide since you spoke your first words on screen; you are utterly fucking beautiful, from your cheekbones to your steely blue-gray-green eyes, to your lithe, tall body; you are “mysterious” and quirky and indie and educated and a wonderful actor.

Some people might claim that you are TOO perfect because of all of this, and in that way, I think a lot of people are blind to who you really are.  Ergo, they are jealous, they think a package like that MUST make you egotistical, they think you are just like every other Hollywood tool trying to get a piece of stardom.  Clearly, they haven’t watched your interview videos enough.

Because what I see when I watch them?  I see a man who is, yes, perfect in all of those ways listed above, but who has SO much more than that underneath the surface.  It bubbles up in you every time you laugh that big, hearty guffaw, every time you break into that brilliant smile, every time you tell a story about sleeping in the dog’s bed and then spending three days apologizing to her for it.

You’re not a non-conformist because you are TRYING to be.  I genuinely do not believe you wash your hair and your clothes so seldomly because you believe it’s going to help your image, because you think it’s going to fool someone into believing you are cool.  The reason? You know you don’t need to convince anyone of anything, Rob, and in so doing, you simply ARE cool.  And with that comes one of the healthiest doses of true modesty, humility and graciousness I’ve ever seen in a celebrity.  Truly, you are sexy and you don’t even know it.  And that spells the difference between simple adoration and obsession.  The difference between a passing admiration and a full blown ignore-your-husband, waste-half-your-days-at-work, tie-me-to-your-messy-hotel-bed and fuck-me-in-Edward’s-Volvo Robsession.

No cure needed thankyouverymuch

I have no desire to be cured, and you shouldn’t be surprised to know I have had no trouble finding a healthy pool of enablers and cohorts.  Because honestly, Rob?  The best thing to come out of my addiction to you?  The wonderful family of Twihards and Robsessors who share their fantasies about you with me through amazingly written fan fiction and emails and forums and blogs.  Who make me laugh so hard some days that my sides hurt and my co-workers wonder what the hell is wrong with me.  Who make me turn red and blush so much at my desk on other days that I attack my husband the moment I get home.  But most importantly, and less frequently, the ones who have become dear and true lifelong friends to me through the paradoxically impersonal computer screen…. friends who I share more with through this medium than people I have known for years and see in the flesh on a daily basis.


So in that way, I feel very grateful to you, Rob.  Not just for the beauty you add to the world (in more ways than one); or the increased quality of my sexual fantasies; or the full blown laughter and amusement I get.  But for the meaningful things, like these friendships, that have added a quantifiable depth and value to my life.  What a powerful thing you have done, to have an effect like that on not just one person, but thousands, perhaps millions.  You have truly found your calling in life, and I can’t think of anyone who could do a better job at it than you.  I hope perhaps I’ll get the chance to one day tell you that in person.

Until then, please keep on keeping on, by doing the adorable things you do– fondling microphones and water bottles, lifting your eyebrow with your finger, sewing up the holes in your clothes with the wrong color thread, and being absolutely incompetent at that great American pastime of driving a car.  And if you ever need someone to oh, I don’t know, run lines with, play the guitar with (or simply for), go to a KOL concert, or watch NC-17 rated movies?  Well, keep in mind that you do have more than one option, and she’s waiting patiently right here.

Love and Hot Pockets,

Heathcliff

Share your love for Heathcliff and her letter about how she fell for Rob? Can you empathize? Who wants a cure?

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Responses

  1. Wow! Great letter, but you lost me at “fuck-me-in-Edward’s-Volvo” mmmmm! I don’t remember anything after that!

    • I agree but only in the silver volvo 🙂 RIP

      • I could not agree with you more, Cazza! And at that– the silver Volvo from the BOOKS only, please. Even the car in Twilight is wrong. (BIG pet peeve of mine, grr. Don’t even want to describe the meltdown I had when I saw they had changed it to a black SUV for New Moon…)

        • What!? You didn’t like the silver hatchback?

          I just thought Edward needed the extra space to help Bella get groceries after school.

          Or maybe he volunteered to be the chauffeur for the local kid’s soccer team.

          • or extra space to……..ya know…….do “stuff” in….. and I’m drooling again. GREAT! My dry cleaner is starting to think I either have a really big dog or some srt of glandular problem. Loved the letter. Rob being Rob is what makes him so appealng, not Edward. I lovez me some Edward, don’t get me wrong, but Rob ……..hmm. Better than fiction.

            http://www.aquiredtaste.wordpress.com

  2. Great letter!
    Agree very much with the non-conformist-things………..
    BUT
    he knows…..he knows…..

    • Robgirl, I agree with you that he knows that he’s non-conformist in a way, but I’m not sure if gets the extent of it. I think this because of how he talks about his time in school and how he doesn’t listen to anybody else.

      I can’t decide if he’s truly aware and just doesn’t care about some of the things that make him ‘unique’ or that he’s truly unaware of these things. He does seem clueless and then embarrassed when something is pointed out to him. I’m thinking of the Jimmy Kimmel show where a fan asked him about the shirt mis-buttoning trend that he has going on.

      If he’s really aware or not of these things, I like it, a lot!

      • I was thinking about that exact same example from Jimmy Kimmel before I even finished reading your comment, drsaka. The key is in his reaction, which, in my opinion, is 100% genuine surprise, cluelessness, and embarrassment. (He’s a great actor, but I think these moments are real.) 🙂

        • I think it was genuine too! I think his comment ‘I never did anything normal anyway’ is key. As Robirl said, ‘he is what he is’ and we all appreciate it and melt.

        • I love that moment from Jimmy Kimmel. He was so mystified! “Misbuttoned? What?”!

          • Hey, they have the clip over on Robsessed today for anyone who missed it. . . or wants to see it for the 18th time!

      • Right!
        To me it seems like…photoshoots,films,and public appearances…he is aware of everything….and it’s a good thing
        ALL the rest…I don’t know….I think HE is what HE is….and that’s a very good thing as well !!
        He is somebody who gives himself away…….. in a simple, human and very adorable way!
        I love him mostly for that! A lot!:-)

        • “He is somebody who gives himself away…….. in a simple, human and very adorable way!” – absolutely! I love it a lot too 🙂

        • Word!
          For the rest of the discussion on non-conformism, I didn’t get it. No, it’s not the new year telling me I can’t handle 2 hours sleep a night anymore. Or at least I like to think it’s not.
          I don’t think Rob could be called a non-conformist, first because in Europe a lot of people are like that (don’t get me wrong, we all know he’s effing special but I was speaking of his style). He is fortunately different from Zac & Justin and the others but it’s coherent with what he wants to do and also I’m not sure we can really say non-conformism really exists in today’s society where people express themselves.
          But he def. knows what he’s doing when he’s in front of cameras, photoshoots OR interviews.

          • I am totally with you….many guys here around have “similar” attitudes…def. NOT Zac (Efron)-style that….
            I like his humour to find/see/look at tiny everyday-things….like words, situations (self-analyseing…lol) and so on.

            He does that in a very SPECIAL way ….for me!
            Plus….the rest….<3

          • The non-conformist ……I understand it in this letter like…as YOU said……NO typical Hollywood behaving THAT!

          • I’m high fivin’ ya, minuit and robgirl. Thanks for your insights!!!

    • brilliant letter heathcliff, you summed it up perfectly, “fondling microphones and water bottles, lifting your eyebrow with your finger, sewing up the holes in your clothes with the wrong color thread.”

      ..I can’t decide if he’s truly aware and just doesn’t care about some of the things that make him ‘unique’ or that he’s truly unaware of these things..

      i’ve wondered that too but i think he’s totally aware about the things he does but just doesn’t care whether people like him or not because of them.

      he seemed so shocked that someone actually took notice of his shirt misbuttoning on jimmy kimmel, but i think he’s totally aware that he does it.

      • Hi undecidedsten, I am undecided [ 🙂 ] if he’s aware or not and/or just doesn’t care about mundane stuff. Either way, its charming!!

  3. What a sweet letter, Heathcliff! I feel the same about the community.

  4. No cure required thank you, I mucho prefer my life this way 🙂 I mean its not even 8am on a Sunday and I am reading this site and ignoring the requests for breakfast from some teacups that apparently live with me – I don’t know who they belong to or where they came from……

    x

    • Haha! Why is it that I turn on the computer before doing anything else in the morning????

      • First thing when I wake up and I am not happy if I wake up to early for my dose of daily letters (it’s 2 pm here).
        And I don’t want to be cured either.
        Great letter!

        • So I’m guessing you are in the UK then?!

          • No, I’m in central Europe.

      • Because you are an *adrenaline junkie* and know what is good for you…

      • Shoot I do the same thing. LOL. I’m so addicted.

  5. Wow…. H… Now THAT’s a letter!!

    You’ve said so much of what I feel so much more eloquently than I could ever say it. I marvelled at being able to visualize nearly every video and gesture you referenced. Nearly, because I apparently missed one. WHERE THE HECK IS THIS? every time you tell a story about sleeping in the dog’s bed and then spending three days apologizing to her for it.
    please share. Thanks!

    As I was reading your letter it struck me how odd and equally amazing it would feel to be able to go online and receive affirmation about yourself the way Rob can obviously and certainly does. I even daydreamed a little about being able to come home after a hard day at work and being able to log on to LettersToXylem.com and reading: Dear Ms. Xylem, you are the best teacher I’ve ever had and here is why…. *Sigh* I can dream, right.

    • Aww, thanks, Xylem! Oh my gosh, the dog bed quote is one of my faves from Rob EVER! It’s actually not from a video but the GQ magazine interview. I pasted the quote below, and here is the link to the article. (The part where he says, “The dog was looking at me like, ‘You’re a fake’ cracks me the eff up EVERY time!)

      http://www.gq.com/entertainment/celebrities/200903/robert-pattinson-harry-potter-twilight?currentPage=4

      He doesn’t want to watch himself on film because he’s worried he’ll look like a fraud. Even before he started acting, he says, “I was constantly thinking that I was faking my emotions. I was constantly attacking myself: You’re a fake, you’re a fraud.”

      “I remember when I was a teenager thinking my girlfriend was cheating on me, and going around riling myself up. Pretending to cry. It was totally illegitimate—I actually didn’t feel anything. I went to some pub and then went crying all the way home. And I got into my dog’s bed. I was crying and holding on to the dog. I woke up in the morning, and the dog was looking at me like, ‘You’re a fake.’ ”

      Was she actually cheating on you?

      “No,” Pattinson says, laughing. “I thought I’d seen her with another guy, but she wasn’t even there. I spent three days apologizing to the dog.”

      • Priceless. Thanks. i really shouldn’t underestimate printed interviews.

      • That was a such a treat for today. Just when I thought I had viewed and read every single Rob interview out there, you post this. Kuddos!

        • I think that GQ article is my fave print interview of Rob.

    • Xylem, I agree it does seem like it would be helpful/encouraging to read all this positive stuff about yourself, but I heard Rob in an interview recently (I think it was just an audio interview in Cannes).

      He was asked if he reads all the stuff online about himself. He said that he has, but that he tries not to. He said that there is nothing good that cane come from doing so. He said that only two things can result from him reading that stuff: #1 – become even more paranoid or #2 – get a big head….I think that’s how he put it….basically read so much praise he gets full of himself.

      Smart boy, imo!

    • Dear Ms. Xylem,
      I’m sure you are a great teacher because you have a fine subtle humour that I love!
      And I’m also sure that the day a student of yours will call you Ms Xylem (I suppose it’s not your real name) you’ll probably freak out and then do some good jokes about it.

    • Dear Ms.Xylem,
      I’m a teacher too…and on the internet here actually exists a site where students write things about their teachers…good and bad ones….assigning marks,
      I’m actually TOO afraid to go there….too creepy…I just know that almost everything they write is SHIT!
      lol

    • @Heathcliff: thanks for sharing that awesome article… Is it just me, or do you also hear his accent when you read any of his quotes?

      @Minuit Passé: awww that’s so sweet. Yeah… They don’t always appreciate my humor… I’ve had really great convo with students (even about Twilight) who think they are getting over only to learn I’m still suspending them and or calling their parents at the end (I’m actually an admin). Around that time….they don’t find me so funny…. Even though I do it with a genuine smile. I don’t get it. 😉

      @Loving40s: first of all, I love your name… Gives me hope for the not so distant future. Secondly, yeah…. I’ve heard Rob say that. I also read in Bazzar that he and Kstew get on each other about how much they Google themselves. He’s got an iPhone 3Gs (sick that I know that) like me and it’s just so easy to look…. I know… Cause my phone spends so much time on Rob that it autocompletes Robsession, LTT, LTR, hobolicious, Kstew, jawporn, Hot Pockets and Heinekein… I wish I was making that up.

      @Robgirl86: Yay, you are a survivor teacher too! That’s awesome. I realized that from this point forth anytime my crack iPhone I mispell something you’ll be shaking your head in disgust at the notion that the future is being shaped by the likes of me. ( did I say I teach? I meant to say “I.T.” I can see how they can sound similarly). Ok… End of Caffeine-induced Rant.

      • Xylem….noooo I am NOT that type….the only thing I can think of….is your TONGUE!!!! Dirty that!
        I like YOU and YOUR humour too
        Every day…

        So dear MS. Xylem
        I think you are a great……

        noooo I cannot do that
        my english is too poor
        and sometimes I have to read your comments twice because of it….
        but when I get it…………..
        it’s sparkling around….
        lol

      • Oh Lord, Xy, I hear his accent in all the quotes of his I read. For ex., “Lit’rally.” How he really enunciates his T’s.

        I was just thinking when I was providing the link for the GQ article that it was a real shame I couldn’t see him tell the dog bed story on video.

  6. It was the GQ article, page 166, center column. ( I looked it up)

    For me I cant explain it, I dont want to explain it, Im just enjoying all that it is giving me. Laughter, Cullen smiles, dirty thoughts (rowr) and sillyness on a daily basis.

    Goals for 2010:

    Meet Rob and some LTT/LTR ladies

    • I don’t do resolutions, but goals for the new year are good. And I like yours 🙂

      “Meet Rob and some of the LTT/LTR ladies”

      …anyone near Toronto? haha.

    • Yay. Love your 2010 goals.

      “Meet Rob and some of the LTT/LTR ladies”

      …anyone in South Wales?

      • I’m in the US, but I do love Wales. Wish I could join you JUlieP.

        • US also.
          Sad, frowny face.
          In WV to be exact…

          • I’m in the U.S too. Tennessee.

      • I’m in Kentucky :-(.

        • well, hey SB and TH we aren’t too far from each other!

          • Yes you’re right, it depends where in WV. I’m in Louisville.

          • I’m just north of Memphis. Is that anywhere close Louisville? I know Kentucky is only a couple hours away.

          • I meant close to Louisville. Can’t type worth crap! I’ve been to WV. Where are you Loveme?

          • @tupelohoney-I’m not sure, I know Nashville is a 5 hour drive. Not sure about Memphis. Btw, your name means “your hair honey” in Spanish :-)..

          • Southern Belle,

            Your hair honey? Interesting.

            My name actually comes from my favorite Van Morrison song. Tupelo Honey.

            “She’s as sweet as Tupelo Honey, just like honey baby, from the bee”

          • She’s an angel of the first degree…
            I’m in Missouri. Might drag my one RL Twisister to LA in June. We shall see…
            I’m back ladies. After so many travels for the holidays, we finally made it home today from the last trip. I am exhausted and we have no water. Find out tomorrow morning if we have a frozen pipe or if the brand new water meter is busted…I don’t care which. Just want my water back. At least I had internet tonight to catch up on two weeks worth of LTT and the last few days of LTR! 🙂

        • @tupelohoney -yeah so I thought you meant yourhairhoney, referring to Rob’s sex hair :-).

          Thanks for letting me know. But yeah I guess the meaning of your screen name could be two differnt ways….I like of like “yourhairhoney.”

          • SB,

            tupelo honey= Rob’s sex hair…

            Yeah, I definitely like that!

      • Louisiana anyone? All of my friends are seriously beginning to think I am insane. I have to try really hard to think of other things to talk about besides Rob or Twilight when I’m around them, lol. Maybe I am insane. Do I care? I think not. I wish I had friends that understood my “acute fondness” like you guys and that were as funny as Moon and UC.

        • twimilf,
          I’m from Louisiana…New Orleans and Lafayette to be exact, but don’t live there anymore. If I visit, we’ll have to get together. My rl friends don’t get me either and according to my 2010 robulutions I can’t talk about him anymore…
          mountainlion

          • Can’t talk about him anymore! 😦 Frowny face, frowny face! You know you can always email me and talk about him til you’re blue in the face. I will listen and email back with all my Robthoughts that I have no one to share with! Missed you the past few weeks but I’m back now!

    • I’m in Atlanta… but one of my BFFs lives in London.. so I go to the UK as much as I can afford to (which isn’t much).. London isn’t Wales.. but hey.. I vote for a UK LTR meet up!… or a souther LTR meet up! hehehehe

      • A southern LTR meet up. Sounds good!

  7. Amazing letter. I almost could have written it myself. It was that close. Only exception.. I think I first realized it was Rob Pattison that I was obsessed with and not Edward when I watched the twilight commentary when the dvd came out. That sexy british voice, the laugh… That’s when I started watching every interview I could find on youtube.

    My name is tupelohoney and I am obsessed with Rob Pattinson…..

    …and I don’t want to be cured!

    • “I first realized it was Rob Pattison that I was obsessed with and not Edward when I watched the twilight commentary”

      that was the start of my interest in rob too when i first heard his voice, all the interviews and clips on you tube just compounded the obsession!

    • Dear Tupelohoney,

      I AGREE! I loved Edward form the moment Bella first saw him in the book and the movie.

      But Rob, well, that giggle and the silliness, well, Edward would never giggle, he is much too Tweed for that.

      Rob just brings it home in one delicious package.

      I love Edward, but I love, lust and long to do things to Rob that are only legal in a few third world countries.

      And I surely hope no one is searching for a cure for that.

      xoxo,
      loveme

      • Legal only in a few third world countries…. sounds naughty! Can I come? (twss).

        • Of course. I have to have someone to help me guard the door so he can’t escape.

          And to hold the video camera.

          • We’ll take turns! I’m sure the boy’s got enough stamina…

    • I fell even FURTHER in love with him (to a ridiculous degree) when I saw the commentary… and I really did not think that was possible.

      If I’m not laughing so hard my stomach hurts, I am considering humping the TV.

      • Me too, Girl! Me too!

      • Oh the commentary really made me fall in love with him too. I could listen to Rob talk all day. I don’t care, I could just sit and listen to his dreamy British accent and watch those red lips move.

  8. Thanks so much Heathcliff for sharing your feelings with us… It was such a beautiful letter… And your honesty is just lovable…
    I think I will print your letter out, laminate it and remember what great things happened to me because of Rob and recall why exactly I love him every single time…

    Thanks honey!!!

    • Aww, you are a sweetie! Thank you! 🙂

  9. One of the sweetest letters, especially the part of the people you have met because of him.

    • That really is the most amazing part to me. I never would have dreamed I would make friendships (well, mainly just one, really) like this. If only Rob knew! 🙂

  10. That letter was adorable. And rings true for more than just her, I think.
    I feel like I could have written a lot of it, too.

  11. You took the words right out my mouth honey. I couldn’t have told it any better and I don’t want a cure either.

  12. Agree so much with your letter Heathcliff.

    Somedays I think a cure might be nice, I can’t really remember what RL was like BR (Before Rob), but I know I wouldn’t want to be w/o my daily dose of LTR.

    • haha
      there’s a BR and an after (aka the ruin of our actual RL).
      And I need a cure!

  13. HaHa. “your one vamptastic tooth”.

    I have often thought about Rob’s mouth.
    (OTHER than for THAT, ladies). I ponder to myself, “I wonder if cougar Cathy looked at that mouth with those teeth, and thought how it does look somewhat vampish. You know, how Edward has to “swallow the venom”.

    He does that brilliantly, dontcha think?
    Bravo, Rob!! Award winning acting…

    Sigh.

    Think I will watch Twilight today.
    Bring back that loving feeling for Edward…

    xoxo,
    loveme

    • lovemesomecullens~
      Have fun watching Twi! Not to be too personal, but how many times have you seen it? I’m a rookie. Figure I’ve only seen it 20 times.

      • I am stunned that you have seen it only 20 times.
        I am probably close to 50. HaHa.
        *Facepalm*

        And if you count the additional times I have watched the commentary along with the movie, well, it’s just a little scarey…

        • lovemesomecullens:

          I know…it’a an embarrasing small number, but I only discovered the twi movie in July, and I’m trying to pace myself.

          I love that you’ve watched 50 times. I bow down to your rob-devotion.

    • “Swallow the venom”

      Never thought the word “venom” could be so meltingly sexy! After seeing Rob as Edward I kinda shivered a little every time I read the word in the books!

      That’s normal, right?

      • Totes!

    • I never get tired of watching Twilight. And each time I see it, Rob still takes my breathe away….sigh. 🙂 Dreamy.

    • God. I LOVE that damn tooth. LOVE. IT.!!!

  14. Heathcliff, you took the words right out of my mouth. I don’t know how many times a day I have to explain that it’s Rob not Edward I love. I truly believe that what Rob has is rare and we would be remiss to not acknowledge it and how he makes us all feel. I only hope that we are lucky enough to witness this beautiful man “do his thing” for a long, long time! Put me down for time in the Volvo, I don’t care what color, cause if it’s Rob I’m not looking at the car. Did anyone else see the pics of Rob and Kstew in the Uk supposedly taken over New Years? Those two are making it really hard to keep my little “de-nile” boat afloat!

    • Yeah, I saw those photos, and reality came crashing down on me, that it is definitely true, that they are together. My heart broke a little, but I realize that I want him to be happy. I hope that she makes him happy, and appreciates what she has, while she has it.

    • I’m trying to ignore those photos (even though that out of control beard is sexy as hell, ugh). I’ll float down the river a little while longer.

      LOL– touche on the point about the Volvo. It can be puke green and filled with dead fish, for all I care. 😀

  15. Well, the fact that I am at work, and first thing that I did after logging on the computer, is come here, proves that I love the community here.
    I am never disappointed with reading letters from other people who “fell for him”. Yours is the best so far.
    I think if I really think about it, it was the “documentary” that he did for Goblet of Fire, about his time on the set, that “did it” for me. I saw the potential of the amazing man that he is today. I too, after seeing Twilight for the first time on DVD, started watching every interview and video about him, and stumbled onto the Cedric video. Then I would say, the GQ photos and interview, “sealed the deal” for me. I was sent “over the edge” then.

    My favorite line in your letter:
    “The difference between a passing admiration and a full blown ignore-your-husband, waste-half-your-days-at-work, tie-me-to-your-messy-hotel-bed and fuck-me-in-Edward’s-Volvo Robsession.” That is my life to a tee.
    He is definitely became more than Edward to me, after watched him in How to Be. I only want the best things for him, because it is what he deserves.

    • Me, too, Katie. You can just tell about some people. I’ve NEVER been into following celebrities but there is something different about Rob. He’s real. I’m a lifelong fan, and I really hope he is able to live the life he deserves.

  16. H~
    I 3> you. Great letter and the “chilean kiss” really got me, too.

    Who knew that watching the most desireable man to walk the planet during my life time would lead me to LTR/LTT and so many cool woman. I never expected this.

    Is there a cure for this? So what if I’ve become powerless over my addiction and my life has become unmanagable (See 12 step program).

    love to all of you,
    mountainlion

    • don’t know the 12 step program but I’m thinking in desperate cases one is not trustworthy to follow a cure by herself. professional help might be needed.

      • Minuit,
        The 12 step program is a program that helps alcoholics stop drinking. One of the first things you have to do is admit you have a problem. “My name is ___ and I’m an alcoholic” hence my post above about my Robsession.

        I’m assuming a Robsession 12 step program wouldn’t have many members!

    • Honey…you want a cure?….throw out of the window TV, DVDs plus laptop plus put yourself to one little island with only one DVD…”High school musical 1,2,3,4?”
      Could work, but I guess you won’t try!

  17. The best to read on a Sunday lazy day morning. ❤ ❤

  18. That was amazing I absolutely had to read this bit to my bf who I also end up ignoring half the day as I catch up on my Robsession 🙂

    “a full blown ignore-your-husband, waste-half-your-days-at-work, tie-me-to-your-messy-hotel-bed and fuck-me-in-Edward’s-Volvo Robsession.”

  19. I love this part..
    ” The reason? You know you don’t need to convince anyone of anything, Rob, and in so doing, you simply ARE cool. And with that comes one of the healthiest doses of true modesty, humility and graciousness I’ve ever seen in a celebrity. Truly, you are sexy and you don’t even know it. And that spells the difference between simple adoration and obsession.”

    Wonderful letter! And I totallly LOL’d at “explaining what a comb is to Kristen” 😀

    <3<3<3

  20. This letter was amazing and I agree with you. I think people are so attracted to Rob because he is breathtakingly beautiful inside and out, but he doesn’t seem to relize it. He makes the ‘everyday guy thing’ sexy. Hollywood has not turned him into a diva yet, lets hope it never does.

  21. I have a letter similar to this but don’t have the nerve to send it or post it online…so thanks for voicing out your thoughts. It’s so true and I agree with you 100%.

    Rob is the epitome of hotness. No words are enough to describe him. When I see him, I see him as a perfect package. Not that he he is infallible. But the fact he is so unperfect in some things and he doesn’t have a problem with it. I love his naivete, so cute.

    When I see Rob I see an adorable guy, it’s amazing how he can be this hobolicious looking dude who looks homelessw and then transform to a beautiful tux-wearing man.

    I’ve been saying too that I don’t want a cure. I don’t need help. I’m fine with what I am doing!

    • That’s very sweet…what you are saying…I could fall in love with you

    • Shoot, excuse moi for my bad grammar!!! I meant “not that he is infallible” and “the fact that he is so imperfect.”

      Major brain fog today. Sorry.

  22. Thanks for a letter that expresses so much I’ve thought and felt about my own obsession and why it exists, only in a much more articulate and perceptive way! Knowing there are others out there who feel the same way makes me feel I’m not totally insane.

    • We are all normal here.

      • Thanks for enabling, mountainlion. Or I guess I should say “affirming”.

        • “Normal” is relative anyway. I’m sure Rob would affirm that as well.

        • Old One,
          I love being an enabler when it comes to HHH.

  23. Is it weird that each time I see or think of Rob I think of a song and I want to sing it? LOL.

    • Nope, I hear beautiful music when I see or think of him, too.

      I imagine if I ever see him in real life, an orchestra of angels will descend from the clouds, perhaps playing “Ode to Joy.” Either that or “I’m Too Sexy.” Not sure which. 🙂

      • Or how about Claire de lune playing in the background when Rob shows up.

        The I’m Too Sexy is great though! LOL.

  24. Brilliant letter, Heathcliff!

    I just wish I had it in my possession earlier today when my son and daughter-in-law felt a “Rob Pattinson” intervention was in order.

    You articulated our descent into robsession clearly and succinctly. My attempt to convince them I’m normal was futlie. I think they really want to have me see a shrink. The life size posters in the living room did me in, I’m sure.

    But that’s ok…I’m holding my own…I decided to keep the fact that my ‘Rob dream cherry’ was popped last night and it involved Nine Inch Nail’s Closer to God, and rubbing one out for The Pretty….don’t think the kids can handle that one, yet 🙂

    Too much fanfic?

    • IMO, TiAmo, one can NEVER have too much fan fic. I don’t care what our concerned family members say!

      And oh, so jeally of you and your recently popped Rob dream cherry… mine, unfortunately, remains intact. Damn it.

      The only viable cure I can see is MORE FAN FIC! 😀

      • Ok, more fan fic, but try a dose of ‘crotch shots’ before bed. Call me in the morning…:)

        • LMAO! Will do! You don’t have to tell me twice.

          Might throw in a few “butt crack” ones, too!

          (Heh. I just realized Rob really is the only person who can make butt cracks sexy.)

          • Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, my mind wanders to the photo of Rob in the red & black plaid shirt, fluffy white rug and the sexiest bit of butt crack………ummm. You know the one I mean?

            Oh yeah, I think he’s got that eye f*ck look going on in that photo, too.

            I think I better go find that photo.Fast.

  25. You know, I totally got the “Chilean kiss” reference. It’s because he’s a cold vampire so his kisses are “chilly”. Get it, get it?

    Of course I doubt Rob meant any thing that coherent when he said it, but I’m going with it.

    • LOL, RB– oh, I got the joke, all right. And yup, that’s how I interpreted it, too.

      It’s just that… well, the joke is SO BAD.

      Honestly. I think the joke was just SO bad that no one got it at that moment. And sigh… another reason why I love him all the more. He isn’t afraid to tell corny jokes that are so bad no one gets them. 🙂

  26. Things that didn’t get done because of LTR (thanks, heathcliff) and my robsession:

    -eating
    -exercising
    -reading actual books (I’ve only got time for fanfic and robfic now)
    -talking to people

    All normal, right? I’m really not complaining…I’m just sayin’

    • I’m so lame and feeling like a bad mom. My child has been begging me to bake her a cake or cookies for a whole week. I haven’t done it. My parents are coming in 3 days and will stay for a week and I’m stressed out that I won’t be able to go online(LTR and robsessed) or worse, my mother would browse thru my robporn again! Wow that’s not normal!

      You’re not alone, I’m just barely getting things done. lol

      • Tell me about it! I just spent five days with my family and was a) worried that my mom might want to use my laptop and I hadn’t moved my Robporn labeled file on my desktop and b) going through serious withdrawals trying to catch up on Rob news on my iPhone when I had a few spare moments (i.e. in the bathroom and in bed at night). My husband was like seriously, you have a problem, and I was like, shutupinyourface, I don’t care!

        • Singlestrand – my DH said that to me too. I have a problem. He even said “why can’t you obsess over me instead!?” I felt terrible after that.

    • Yep, I’d say it’s quite normal to be malnourished, sedentary, illiterate and agoraphobic in the name of Rob! 😀

  27. Thanks God I have the good habit to stop by here every night and thanks LTR for posting this exceptionally well written and right to the heart letter. I am still in awe!! Simply BEAUTIFUL

    I’ve passed from smiling to almost tears of emotion in seconds. I’ve already read it three times in a row and I can second each and every line (maybe with the exception of the moment I undoubtedly knew that I was hopelessly lost)

    Dear Heathclif, thanks, thanks, thanks for such a sweet masterpiece!! I hope you don’t mind, but I couldn’t help but saved/treasured it on my pc. So that next time that I feel kind of disoriented about my irrational feelings (not to mention my surreal life since Dec 2008), I’ll just re read your text to accept the actual origin of the whole thing and embrace the evidence!

    • Oh my. Well, Biel, of course I have seen your incredible videos (and re-watched THEM myself many times in a row on many occasions), so I am truly, truly appreciative and honored by your words here!

      I loved how you worded that… “embrace the evidence.” It does help to do that sometimes, I think, hahaha.

      And of course I don’t mind that you saved the letter. Wow. I’m honored. 🙂 Thank you so much for these words!

  28. Absolutely brilliant letter, Heathcliff!! I loved it!

    Can we have an Ode to YouTube letter someday? I believe a lot of Robsessions would not have been started without that piece of culture. I know that I went to YouTube to find some Twilight stuff and then ended up just watching Rob videos for days, nights, hours on end. And now, thanks to Biel, in order to drag myself out of bed when I’m still dead tired, I have to sing “I’ve completely lost myself and I don’t mind….” and then I’m happy and awake and alert. 🙂
    (Forgive me if there has already been one. I’m still working through the archives.)

  29. your letter expresses eloquently my thoughts and feelings. my robsession is affecting my RL. i have even refused to go on a vacation just because my DH said i could not bring my laptop.

  30. I’m a day late but that letter made me fall in love with Rob Pattinson again. (For the millionth time.)

  31. @heathcliff
    So I just had a chance to read your letter today and it is wonderful. You are an articulate writer and thank you for putting into words to Rob what I myself have thought and felt on numerous occasions.

  32. So, let’s pretend I get in touch with you. Real life. Would you leave your husband for that?

    • absolutely.

      • Absofuckinglutely.

    • I guess that depends on whether you’re the real Robert or not. Are you? 😉

      • I guess you’ll just have to stick one’s neck out

        • I would do that!
          this is soo lame….lol

        • Fair enough. Tell you what. If you want me to answer your question, how about we take this conversation private? heath.cliff2@yahoo.com

          How’s that for sticking my neck out?

        • IMHO, Rob would never say:

          “I guess you’ll just have to stick one’s neck out”

          This is not proper english and Rob has mastered the language.

          Bye, faker:)

          • …also, remind me again why Robert Pattinson would be lurking around here?

    • Wow, look I wonder if this is really Rob? 🙂 If it is, well look you’ve got an abundance of women here who want you including yours truly.

  33. Depends. Are you better in bed than my BF? 😛
    Who am I kidding…. OF COURSE!

  34. And just because I am 89% sure that some weird guy who posted that on here for spits and giggles, that last 11% of me will take the time to say:

    !!!!REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY!!!!

    Rob, don’t wear the stolie shirt. We hate it. Its ugly and tattered. Don’t wear the black one either because its not flattering on you.
    And those bondage pants with the hanging suspenders? Totally bad 90’s punk/goth. Give them to a homeless guy.
    We love the lobster hat and grandpa sweaters. Totally in right now. And that purple shirt from Remember Me that you obviously washed incorrectly and is badly faded? Hott with two T’s.

    !!!!REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY!!!!

    Please don’t kill me if he suddenly ditches the sexiness and sticks with the creepy uncle Rob clothes!


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