*Now that Rob is back in the states, it’s time to let him in on some of the fantastic places he’s missing out on. JennB wants him to come to Vermont and we kinda want to too! Rob, if you don’t we will!*

Oh these cities... give me Vermont

Dear Rob:

Sick of the city life? Tired of not being able to dine al fresco because of the fumes and the paparazzi? Weary of having your underwear selections so closely scrutinized? (Let’s face it, we all squealed when you chose the LARGE pair).

Then come to Vermont!

You’ll arrive at our first-class International Airport located in Burlington, our state’s largest city (maybe 50,000-60,000 people total) overlooking Lake Champlain, our state’s largest body of water. Several years ago there was an attempt to have it classified as a Great Lake, much to the chagrin and anger of the states who actually DO have a Great Lake. I know you’re an airport maven, and the 6 gates that construe the Burlington International Airport won’t confuse you. By the way, it’s an International Airport because Vermont borders Canada, and there are frequent flights to Toronto and Montreal. I’m happy to meet your plane and help you collect your guitar and dadcase (or are you schlepping a murse lately? What about the yellow bag?) and drive you in my M-van to your hotel (we have to stay in a hotel, or else my husband will get suspicious). We could stay at The Mid Town Motel, or the Bel-Aire Motel. How about the Hilton?

Whacky, wild, bustling Vermont!

I’ll take you to Burlington for a night on the town, where we can stroll up and down Church Street, the well-known pedestrian walkway lined with shops and restaurants. There are plenty of places to grab some good beers, so we’ll check those out as well. The Vermont Pub & Brewery is one of my favorite places to enjoy a beer, and we’ll be sure to get the pint-sized version of the beer sampler. Then on to American Flatbread, for some feel-good flatbreads (also known as pizza, but healthier and organic thus the “feel-good” sell). There’s an Army & Navy Store and a bunch of second-hand clothing stores, like Old Gold, to stock up on skinny jeans and old flannels since you packed so lightly. We’ll hit Nectars for some after-beers fries & gravy, then retire to the Hilton for our own dance party. The best thing is, there won’t be any photographers in your face! With a couple of days of facial-hair growth, your dirty jeans, and flannels, you’ll fit right in with the Woodchucks around these parts (we call the natives woodchucks). Just be sure to get yourself a Boston Red Sox baseball hat – people don’t take kindly to the Yankees in Vermont. They have a small-ish following, but I would say that Vermont overall is a part of Red Sox Nation.

Hmmm need more Vermont beer

The next morning, you express a desire for more beer and a rural tour of Vermont. Can do! We head south of Burlington and hit up a couple of local breweries, Magic Hat and then Otter Creek in Middlebury. If you want to head further south (!!!) we can go to Killington and to Long Trail brewery. There’s not a lot to look at after you leave the big city, but it’s a beautiful, quiet part of the world. Bring your camera, we’ll take some snapshots of you next to a cow, I’ll take you to a purveyor of maple syrup (you can only get maple syrup in the Northeastern part of New England) for some samples, then we’ll go look at some livestock. If you’re really drunk, you can attempt to tip a cow, but be careful because those bovines can move FAST.

If you’re interested, I could drive us across a covered bridge and I wouldn’t mind if you put your arm around me like the courtin’ people used to do. The bridges were usually a place where a kiss was stolen, so maybe we can consider them old fashioned dumpsters and steal some other stuff. Like I said, there’s not much to see around here. I’m perfectly content to just stare at you, personally. I think the best part for you is that you won’t be hounded by photographers and rabid fans. I think that the Twidom does have some constituents up in the Green Mountains, but we’re pretty laid back.

Perfect on your Eggo Waffle!

We can go hiking on part of the Long Trail, but watch your wonky legs. We can visit our state’s capital, Montpelier, with the largest gold dome in New England (I think). There are some other breweries to hit, then we can drive WAY up into the sticks and see the Northeast Kingdom. This is a part of the state that really hasn’t changed much in recent history. I think they’re now getting dial-up for their computers that are run off a generator, but I could be wrong. Now you’ll get some stares, as will I, not because of your fame but because you’re from “away”. Remember those woodchucks I was telling you about? This is their den and they truly don’t take kindly to strangers. We should back away sllooooowwwwwwly and head back to the city, where I’ll put you on your plane. No need for disguises or shielding your face, there won’t be any pictures taken. No need to get to the airport at least 2 hours in advance due to “ORANGE ALERT”, the longest I’ve ever waited in security is about 20 minutes. Besides, with your new sweatshirt from UVM and your Red Sox hat, you can enjoy some long-awaited anonymity.

Believe it or not, these guys make the best ice cream!

It might be boring up here in Vermont, but those who live here appreciate a slower pace, good local food, beer & wine, and the beauty that surrounds us every day. Not everyone’s a hippie, but overall, we love our state. Who cares that our ancestors probably fought one another in the War of 1812 and the Revolutionary War. For the Robward in you, there is a tribe of First People here – the Abenaki.  I think you’d love to unhurried, unpestered side of it all (unless it’s mosquito season, then you’ll be hurrying away from those pests). There are a lot of celebrities who live in Vermont – Ben & Jerry, Luiz Guzman, and Sandra Bullock’s sister. Mia Farrow’s brother lived here until just recently. There are celebrities who come here because they like the feeling of getting away from it all. Granted, you can’t find a decent place to have dinner if it’s past 8:00 (9:00 on weekends if you’re lucky), and we don’t get new releases in the movie theatres as frequently as the cities do, but we have electricity and running water for the most part, and it would be a great chance for you to get away from the flashbulbs and fangirls. Come to Vermont. I’ll show you all around….

Maple syrupingly yours,

jennB

Hmm maple syrup… Ben & Jerry’s… covered bridges…. let’s go to Vermont everyone!!!!!! Thanks JennB! Anyone else from Vermont, whats the best thing for Rob to do there? Where else should be go in the US (besides my house?)

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter

Dear Rob,

Tomorrow is the BIG DAY. It is the day when Chicago FINALLY becomes interesting* and you show up to grace the stage of the Oprah Winfrey show for the big Eclipse- Twilight saga taping between you, Kristen, Taylor & Dakota that will air next week on your birthday!

Will she ask you and Kristen “THE” question.. and will you answer it? Remember- this is the woman famous for causing a really normal guy- Tom Cruise- to become really weird and jump on her couch, declaring his love for a girl that once had a schoolgirl crush on him and wore a lot of American Eagle clothing. Seriously. Don’t let Tom Cruise happen to you. This morning you’re just Rob- really normal British guy- and tomorrow you’ll be jumping on couches, talking about how Christ was a scientist or how medicine is bad or how Brooke Shields is the devil or something….

Leave the jumping to Taylor (And the photoshopping to people with photoshop installed on their computer)

Leave the Tom Cruise-isms to Taylor. It’ll be cute if he jumps up, jokingly declaring that Swiftner IS, in fact, real, and in the middle Oprah throws out a curve-ball to HIM- “Taylor, when did you realize you were gay?” How will you react if Taylor admits it? Are you prepared to offer up Tom Stu as a potential mate? Do you think they might make a good match? What if Kristen & Dakota reenact a scene from the Runaways and start feeling each other up on the Oprah couch? Imagine it now Rob- You’ve turned into Tom Cruise, Taylor has a melt down because he realizes HE is actually the one allergic to vaginas and he’s about to see some from the girls who are making out right in front of him. Is this really Oprah? Sounds more like Jerry Springer to me! Next thing you know Oprah will bring Nikki Reed in from backstage to add to the drama while Ashley Greene comes down through the audience wearing the latest product she’s sponsoring- nothing.

I threw out a question to the twitterers about what you might show up wearing today to the taping. There were some great suggestions:

The ever classy Armisette said:

I’m hoping for a casual suit w/white button down, no tie, a la CBS morn show

The one who knows you all too well, katytx77, told us:

the today show jacket with the torn cuff on the arm. U know his mom had that in the goodwill bag and he nabbed it.

And libbyrenee, the one who clearly thought about it long before I asked the question, added:

if he dresses himself: the new jeans, tshirt, plaid on top, sambas or nikes. if he doesnt: nice gray or black suit with a button down shirt

"Have Mercy" if he pairs a flannel with this

But it was after JGroismyEdward tweeted me that I figured out what I know will be happening today! Oprah will let you dress yourself. Maybe you’ll try to go classy to please armisette & throw the Uncle Jesse Blue blazer over a flannel over your conan shirt. And depending on how much Malort you drank the night before, you may or may not come wearing pants at all that match. But about halfway through the segment, after Oprah makes Taylor & Dakota answer honestly whether or not your lack of fashion skills ever embarrass them (they do), she will bring out the up and coming stylist who was lucky enough to sit next to her at an Obama fundraiser and became her pet project to MAKE YOU OVER! Good-bye mom jeans and Conan T-shirt (Can you hear Moon screaming NOO!!!?), Marks & spencer underdrawers & Uncle Jesse’s date night jacket circa 1989. Hello hip, hot, fashionable Robbie-pie! And while you’re in the back getting poked and prodded by a VERY lucky stylist, RACHEL RAY will treat the audience to her homemade GORMET HOT POCKETS! You will even get to keep the recipe, Rob, so that in your rented LA home this spring, you too can make your very own gormet hot pockets, in 30 minutes or less, of course, looking very hot & fashionable while doing it!

But…. at press time (12:18 am Wednesday morning) there has been no sign of you in Chicago, so what if, after all is said and done, you’re just there via a satellite FEED or something. How will we know if the spark between you and Kristen is true love or not when Oprah asks the inevitable question? Will we be able to feel the chemistry with you on camera & Kristen live in the studio ?

By humping this dead bear, you will see how much I care for you...

Maybe you should see if Kristen can pick up a bear-skin rug before she goes on stage. That way, when Oprah asks and you gaze at her lovingly through an HD video projector, Kristen can whip out the bear-skin rug, lay down on it and give you the sexy-eyes, so that we can have a visual & truly understand the depth of your feelings for one another.

At the end of the day though, Rob… my advice to you is to just use this Oprah time as cheap therapy … Talk about your Kristen woes- does she get the toothpaste cap all messy? Rag on David Slade- is he just jealous of your great height? Lament about Patty or Hell, even throw Summit under the bus… Because we all know there is one reason and one reason only as to why you are all taping this show an entire WEEK before it airs. That’s right… your tendency towards verbal diarrhea and staring at Kristen’s legs. The great powers of editing will no doubt be inflicted on this show. And, after having studied your interviews at length, i have to wonder if we will even end up hearing you speak during this Oprah show. Suddenly, the need for Dakota and Taylor becomes, oh so much clearer…….

Can’t wait to see how it all turns out,
UnintendedChoice

*I think there’s this Philly-girl thing in me that means I have to hate Chicago because it’s a city of a similar size but with worse pizza. Plus I went there once and the crazy-ass wind blew my skirt up and a boy I liked saw my panties. They weren’t cute. True story. Seriously Deep Dish= Grossgusting

So what do we think might happen today!? Will Oprah ask THE question? Do you think the audience will have to sign something not to spill the secrets. Do you think it’s possible we REALLY won’t hear!?

Rob/Couch .gif found on the internet. (seriously I don’t know where- from lissashoff on twitter!)

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter

Dear Rob,

It all makes sense now… I finally get it. We’ve spent years… ok we’ve spent year (almost yearS) talking about how you only wear like 4 things. How you have two pairs of pants, a jacket, some tshirts you stole, etc. And we wondered and wondered why would a guy like you only travel with a couple pieces of clothing when you’ve got more money than some 3rd world countries, and probably get more free stuff sent to you than we’d like to think about. THEN I saw this picture and it all made sense…

There’s just NO room in the duffle bag for Mr. Bear AND more than one and a half outfits. As a gal who still has a blanket from childhood, I TOTES understand. Who needs changes of underwear when there’s childhood nostalgia involved? So now we know… it’s not vanity or wanting to be cool or some kind of hipster. It’s because there’s simply no more room in the bag for anything other than Mr. Bear.

*needle scratch*

Upon dying and swooning over this image with Calli in the dead of night we just couldn’t leave well enough alone and debated back in forth whether it could be real or a fake.

Soooo maybe things aren’t exactly what they seem. Calli sent me this picture of “Rob” and this was our ensuing conversation… REAL OR NOT REAL… that is the question…

Follow the cut to see whether it’s the real deal or not… and whether we need to be hired by the government.

HOLD UP

Dear Rob

I’m BACCCCKKKKKKK and by the looks of it, so are you!!! We came back to the country within a DAY of each other. I have no idea the significance of that or what that means for US but I do have to say that the hubby & I met a couple from Vancouver who stayed at the same resort in Mexico that we did. She was in her early 50s, smoking hot (proven by the fact that my husband removed Penelope Cruise from his “list” and added Barbie to it- YES her name was Barbie). She was from VANCOUVER- where you just were. You probably passed her walking through the airport- did any cougars catch your eye? So add our new Vancouver hot older friends plus the fact that we returned to the US within 24 hours of each other, well….. I’m just gonna go with the feeling that this means big things for us.

But seriously, I come back from vacation and it’s like you’re an all new person!

Who ARE you? Is this a NEW shirt!? Are those NEW pants? Are those FLAT-FRONTED jeans? I’m so confused. I didn’t know they made that wash-color denim anymore. Were they on clearance at Marks & Spencers? Did you steal them from a terrified TwiMom who wore them to a meet & greet & believed you were serious when you asked her to “strip naked” to show her devotion?

And have we seen that jacket before? It’s been so long… I was only gone for 7 days. And WHAT is ON your jacket. I just did a quick browse of LTR over the past week and realize Moon was wondering the same thing (Bird shit on a picnic with Sam for the mother-effing WIN)

And Rob- are you carrying a DIAPER bag? What? Are you helping out the woman who sat next to you on the plane because during the awful, boring 2nd hour she whipped out the boob to feed her baby and you caught a peek? And you felt you owed her (because let’s be honest, you’re not getting much boob action in the bedroom these days) so to show your gratitude you helped carry her baby crap?

Well, this picture proves some things I know you are NOT doing with your money (besides spending more than $7 on new clothing) buying a new guitar case. That thing is BEATTTTTT. Seriously.. you must be rolling in money these days…. I hope you have a good financial advisor. Got a Roth IRA set up? Let’s back it up and start even more simply- have you heard of a savings account? Don’t tell me you roll up hundred dollar bills (or the £ equivalent) and hide them in your LB hat or beanies….. Or is it money that you actually have in that beat up guitar case?

And I’m not entirely sure, but …. are you holding an Eclipse “Bella” poster? Are you going to ask Kristen to sign it for you? Wanna auction it off to maybe raise some cash to get your jacket dry-cleaned? Or did she already sign it & you’re hand delivering it to the poor TwiMom who is walking around pants-less through Vancouver? If so, how rude that you’re wearing your TwiMomJeans for the drop off! That’s just mean! (Let’s pretend that that annoying dude in the sparkly white Nikes isn’t the one actually trying to get Rob to sign the poster. My idea is WAY better…)

Those two dudes behind you are either gay and trying to work up the nerve to ask you out, discussing the fact that their ladies just yelled out your name in a heat of passion the night before OR you’ve developed Edward’s mind reading ability and are laughing along at the dirty joke they just told. Oh wait- did I just call it “mind” reading? *Throw back to 2008 alert* I meant “ming” reading….

Dang…. I was all ready to do a big exposé of my thoughts on all the news/photos/gossip I’ve caught up on that I missed while I was gone.. and well, it seemed kinda quiet on the Rob-front. Sure, I heard the rumor about you and Slade fighting (seriously hope that one is true b/c that’s just good programming right there), I know Oprah is coming up this week and Ellen is in a few weeks. Don’t get me wrong, it was nice to see some airport shots of you, rocking that Long Beach hat once again, but I just expected there to be more. Well, now that you’re back in the US, let’s get this party started! Are the “guys” playing out in LA anytime soon? If so, let Moon know which show you plan on going to- I know you’ve missed seeing her in the audience! And save some In-N-Out for me! I’ll be out there in a few months and that’s #1 on my list!

Glad to back, both of us,

UnintendedChoice

I MISSED YOU ALL!!!!! I had a long chat with Moon Saturday to catch me up with the non-drama-drama that occurred while I was gone (oh nothing to do with the sites, just crazy stuff that happens in the life of running a blog- people emailing us shizz that may or may not be true- figuring out he said she saids, etc. etc. all MAJOR eye-rolls (and also SO MUCH DAMN FUN- otherwise we’d be outta here 🙂 ) ) So it sounds like I missed a little, but not a ton. You missed an AMAZING time on a beautiful Mexican beach. I ate too much, drank too much- don’t remember TWO of the evenings I spent in paradise (remind me that straight gin martinis shouldn’t be my thing) and I’ll admit…. I thought of you all.. and of Twilight… and of Rob… around every corner (I even kept a list- look for that on LTT sometime this week!) Glad to be back (kinda), I don’t think my body could have taken one more day of vacation eating/drinking/relaxing schedule! Now on to salads, water, blogging & a week of hell at work! WELCOME BACK, UC! xoxoxo

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter

Thanks to, who else, Robsessed, for the pics & keeping me up to date! (where ELSE would I go!?)

I completely forgot about the most important picture of all…

It’s Big-Mother-Effing DADDY! He heard I was back in the states and decided to make a cameo! Thanks to the many of you who sent this picture to us! I love that seeing Big Daddy makes you squee just as much as it does us!

Dear Rob and David,

Rumors are swirling down from Vancouver that you two may have had a little tiff. Sure Rob showed up a day after the other kiddos and sure he was wearing that paint splattered jacket and you look sorta snappy usually. But why would you boys be fighting? You’re both Brits, you’re both… interesting… why wouldn’t you be BFF’S?

• Is Rob a Tottenham fan and David is an Arsenal fan and it came to blows when debating who was the better team?

• Did Rob misplace his favorite lobster  hat and David grabbed it by accident thinking it was his? You know baldies get cold!

The only picture of you two in the same frame!

• Now that Rob’s been off for a week you guys fought over who had the better beard. Taylor thought Rob did but KStew liked David’s and it just went to hell from there

• They’re both awkward talkers slash mumblers. Was it all just a big misunderstanding at the coffee machine over cream and stir sticks being confused for “you dream of their dicks.”

• Who ate the last hot pocket at craft services? Clearly David Slade is a big fan as well, obviously it shows a little more on him than Rob. Sadly, the production will be without a microwave for the rest of the shoot because it lost it’s life in a battle till the death.

We got enough shiz to worry about with Eclipse, we don’t need you guys fighting over the last Capri Sun in the cooler. So boys it’s time to declare a truce or at least save the fighting for behind closed doors, you know Fight Club Style. And you know what the first rule of Fight Club is, right?! YOU DON’T TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!

Can’t we just all get along?
Moon

HAPPY WEEKEND everyone!! What other reasons could Rob and David possible be fighting? What are things Brit boys fight about? EDUCATIONAL MOMENT! Share!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter

Hey pretty lady, where you headed to??

Dear Rob,

You’re back and I wanna sing “Robbbiiiieeee’s BACK ALRIGHT!” Sung to the tune of Backstreet Boys “Backstreet’s Back” of course, but I’ll contain myself. As much as I love boybands from the late 90s (HOLLA NSYNC!) I’m more worried about the fact that you seemed to have either decided to repaint your hotel room at 3am in this jacket or you and Sam Bradley had a romantic picnic under a tree that housed like 3294082394 birds. WHAT in the ding dong is going on with your jacket (enlarge that pic to the left)?

Some bored ass eagle eyed tweeters are reporting that it’s a 550 dollar Ralph Lauren jacket. Obviously, you got this for free because we know you buy 5 dollar underwear thus negating the possibility you would buy a jacket that involves a price in the hundreds. You probably don’t even know money went past the 20 dollar bill. That’s why you have a “team” they do all the heavy lifting. Like finances and 50 dollars bills.

Just hanging out... on the loading dock...

I’d also like to point out that you’ve been hanging out in a lot of alley ways and loading docks since you came back into our lives. Now I’ve never been to the ol ‘Couve but are there regular walkways around there? Do front doors actually look like back doors up there? Did Dean/Steve and you actually think you could pull the ol “slip out the back door” trick and think you wouldn’t be caught? That shit didn’t work when Jesus was alive let alone now when we’re connected with stuff like mobile phones and common sense.

Come on now.

Hey Ladies, you see this jacket... and the GUITAR *WINK WINK*

While we’re recapping I will also say I’m even MORE convinced now that you read LTR because ummm what do my eyes see but the BROWN BUBBLE JACKET that I asked wtf it went like 3 weeks ago… You knew we’d see this… you knew we’d talk about it. And now I’m even more embarrassed.

Dude all you’ve done is show up, wear some stuff and walk around and I’m already energized and excited about the next month of craziness. Now if there’s one thing I can ask before I let you get back to painting the hotel bathroom, can we please not have any big ginourmous mammoth elephants? Thanks!

MOOONIES BACK ALRIGHT! (Actually UC should be back soon, YEA!)
Themoonisdown

Sooo anyone else kinda excited to see Rob back on the scene, and what about that guitar case. What kind of a tease is he?! UGH. Any clue what the crap is going on with that jacket in the first photo? Predictions for Vancouver?

THX PopSugar!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter

What's there to explain dear, I'm ROB and he's a mere mortal

Dear Rob,

I have a serious issue to discuss with you, so serious that this conversation needs to take place in the forest and make sure you wear your tweed (because tweed=serious).

Ready Rob?

So today marks a year that I have been living the single life and I’ve decided its time to put on some big girl panties (of course I couldn’t go a whole letter without discussing my panties with you) and get back into the dating world.

No Rob this does not mean I’m breaking up with you.  I wanted to have this serious conversation about how I should break it to the new guy that he will never be my #1 because let’s face it Rob it will always be you.  Since the new guy (let us call him Jacob, just because it seems fitting) can’t make me choose, he will just have to learn to accept my love for you.  But Rob how do I let him in on our relationship without scaring him away?  Do I do it all at once and unleash the full force of our passionate love? Should I show him the giant poster of you I keep next to my bed, the saga AKA bibles that are worn and tear-stained, and the fanfiction (AKA smutfest fantasies of you and me)?

you mean THIS jaw porn?

Or do I hide you while the relationship with Jacob is still new and change the “jaw porn” folder on my computer to “boring tax return info” to hide my pictures of you? Do I lie and tell Jacob that I am attending my grandparents golden wedding anniversary that he would be bored to tears at when I’m really flying to Boston for a Twilight convention?

Then there are the awards nights and the midnight premieres when my fangirling becomes a questionable medical condition….how do I explain that Rob?  I do not think Jacob will be convinced that the Eclipse countdown is for an actual ‘eclipse’ displaying my new found love of astronomy.  And I can assure you Rob, Jacob will know I am not checking the DVR 872894 3 times to make sure the MTV movie awards are taping so I don’t miss watching more blue Avatar people.

You see Rob, I have lived in the Twi-closet for over a year now and I need your help on the “Jacob situation.” Do not forget Rob, I promise to love you every moment of forever but there has to be room in this heart of mine for Jacob.

Love,
Rocky

Has anyone has a Rocky-like situation. You found your man after falling head first into a Rob obsession and now you’re wondering wtf you’re gonna tell “Jacob?” What’d you do? Did he understand? Did you break up with him a month later cause he just wasn’t Rob?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter

In continuing with “UC goes away for the week so that she can hopefully be a more sane person when she returns from vacation,” we go back to an old LTR theme we used to run on Sundays but have stopped doing since we don’t post on Sundays anymore! We miss hearing your stories about “How you fell for Rob!” Enjoy this one today… all the way from Sweden:

Someday I'll look less like someone Chris Hansen is protecting and more like someone you'll want to bang

Dear Rob

I think the first time I ever saw you was in Harry Potter, since it premiered in 2005 I probably didn’t see it until 2006, I’m not the biggest HP fan, I just see the films because there is such a hype around it and I haven’t had the urge to read the books, yet. Well, I was about 17 years old, about to be 18 and I was a little to old to have crushes on actors, so I secretly kept it to myself that I thought “that nice boy looked really, well…hmm… nice. But I didn’t take it any further- you were really good looking- that’s all.

Two years later a friend introduced me to a book written by Stephenie Meyer (the name is all too cheesy in Swedish, but if you translate it directly it would be “if I could dream”). She told me that it was a real romantic young adult novel. She had borrowed the book from a 15 year old friend, (by that time I was 19 and she was 22) Since I’ve always had a soft spot for romantic young adult novels, I promised her I would read the book sometime. Then she told me that they were about to make movies based on the books (yes, she also told me there were several books, but at that time only two were translated into Swedish). I wasn’t all that enthusiastic- my love for romantic books isn’t my biggest pride. By this time I was reading KAFKA! A youth novel would just seem as a step backwards in my literary education. But then she dropped the big bomb: the lead would be played by Robert Pattinson. To be honest, that name didn’t resonate with me at first, I must have looked dumbfounded. She had to describe who he was, so she just told me that it was the one from Harry Potter- Cedric, you know, the good looking guy. I immediately understood, and she had peaked my interest again!

Something bad happened after this. I didn’t read the books, I didn’t see Twilight. I didn’t even think about you, Rob.

But this autumn New Moon came to the cinemas here in Sweden. I heard debates on the radio about how people thought it was wrong to scream and shout every time the vampires were on the screen. “It’s just fourteen year old crazy girls” they said. But I understood them- I knew that the vampires were good looking. Now I started to think about you again, and I decided that it was time to read the books. I went to my library and borrowed Twilight. I thought that I should read it slowly- I had a lot of other things to do and I usually get all to caught up in books (you know, the usual reading while walking, eating, watching TV, studying, sleeping, etc) but I couldn’t resist, I started reading a week before Christmas, and the week after Christmas I had read all four books! I was in a desperate mode. I even ordered Breaking Dawn in english, since the queue in the library was too long and the Swedish version was too expensive for my empty wallet.

And I saw the movies, wanting to scream every time you were on the screen!

But to be honest, the Twilight books aren’t the best books in the word, (PLEASE DON’T KILL ME FOR SAYING THIS) but because I visualized you every time Edward was mentioned, I loved reading them. The books are addictive and sometimes they are really funny too. But the feminist inside of me isn’t completely fond of Edward, he is too overprotective and he is all too driven by his jealousy. I would not take Bella’s place in the book, but I SO would in the movies (all because of you, Rob).

I started to google you on a daily basis- it became an obsessive behaviour. I watched a lot of YouTube videos, I acted in a way I never had before. Suddenly I realized, I had fallen for you. Everything I read about you, every video I saw made me fall even deeper.

"I got my first real six-string... In the summer of '99"

And you made music, good music! I’m a little bit of a snob when it comes to music, so I first didn’t believe those who said you were an excellent musician. But then I listened and liked it. I’m the one who falls for the guy with the guitar- yes I am, but not if he plays bad songs and sings like Bryan Adams when everyone clearly can hear that the guy doesn’t have a raspy voice at all.

I think we’re a perfect match, we have at least some things in common. We both think showers and shampoo are overrated, the hair cleans itself after a while and if you shower too often you ruin your body’s own natural defense. I will not be one of those girls who think you should shower more often or buy more clothes, or wash them more often. I love your style, and by loving your style I do not only mean your photo shoot or red carpet style. I love your street style- I’m a sucker for flannel shirts. And I definitely love your stubble. A clean shaven Robert does actually lose some of the sex appeal (but not my love!). I also have a thing against new technology- when my two year old cell phone stops working I’m considering taking my old cell phone back (It still works, though it’s five or six years old) and when that phone breaks I ‘ll borrow my sisters old nokia with SNAKE and no color screen. Recycling 4-evvahh!

Finally, I really want to thank you Rob for making Robert a sexy name. Let me illustrate why it’s not sexy to me. This is a collage I made of Sweden’s most famous Roberts:

Except the animated guy, none of them are young, fresh and sexy at all. The animated guy, well, he’s not a big turn on either. When my mother said that if my sister would have been a boy instead of a girl her name probably would be Robert I laughed for days. I still laugh when I think about it, Robert is for me a name that belongs to people over 50. But you proved to me that things can change. Now I can think about you instead.

A little greeting in Swedish, feel free to google translate it.

Om du någonsin kommer till Sverige så kan du alltid kontakta mig. Min säng dörr står öppen för dig. Jag kan bjuda på kakor och sen kan vi jamma tillsammans.

Yours truly,
Gabriella

AWWWW! All across the world people fall for Rob in similar ways! My favorite part of emailing with Gabriella was the conversation we had back & forth:

Gabriella: I am a non blonde, not named Inga, am short, and am not in possession of the swedish sin.
Me: But were you writing this while sitting in an Ikea chair & eating meatballs!? AND wearing clothes from H&M? What is the swedish sin?
Gabriella: I was definitely sitting on an IKEA chair, wearing H&M clothes and eating meatballs. What else could I be doing? The swedish sin is an old myth (from the late sixties) that said that swedes were more sexually outspoken, I think it has to do with naked females in old movies. Thanks for the answer, now I’ll party to some old ABBA music.

I love making friends around the world!!!

How did YOU fall for Rob!? Read other stories like this

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter

*I was just persuring through our emails and this jumped out at me because “Look At This Fucking Hipster” (look at this love connection!) is one of my faves and well it’s true… read on…*

Look at this love connection

Dear Rob-

Someone once said “I really miss “my Edward” and “my Bella” — the way I imagined them before Rob & Kristen came on the scene. Now my Bella & Edward are chain-smoking, always slightly dirty, poorly dressed hipsters. I hate that”*

Rob, the idea of you being a hipster froze the blood in my veins (I don’t give a shit about what’s-her-nose being a hipster- all I care about is YOU). So being the logical woman that I am, I decided to do some research and scientifically prove once and for all whether you are indeed a hipster or not. Research on the Interwebs is scientific, right? I found this website (http://lookatthisfuckinhipster.com/) and spent way too much time on it, trying to figure out if you are a hipster. And since what I saw on the LATFH website gave me nightmares for a solid week, I *really* hope you aren’t, Rob. That would defs might be a dealbreaker for us.

Evidence you ARE a hipster. You:

• wear plaid shirts
• get your clothes from thrift stores
• wear knit beanies
• like Indie music
• wear hoodies
• wear trucker caps
• wear v neck t-shirts (one of my favorite looks on you, actually
• smoke cigarettes
• wear Rayban Wayfarer sunglasses (and look fuckhawt doin’ it!!)
• have that “doesn’t shower” look

I think you're forgetting THIS look Obava! The hair!

Evidence you AREN’T a hipster. You don’t:

• have ironic facial hair
• have any tattoos (that I know of yet- need to do some more research in that department, wink wink!)
• drink Pabst Blue Ribbon beer (holla Heineken!)
• wear thick-frame glasses with no or fake lenses
• wear day-glo clothing (*shudder*)
• have your head shaved in weird places
• have any facial piercings
• drink Starbucks (remember last summer in NYC? Dunkin’ Donuts coffee all the way!)
• have hair that covers your face (in fact, I love the way you’re always pushing your hair off your face *sigh*)
• ride bikes (you wish you were that coordinated!)
• have a Where The Wild Things Are obsession
• do cocaine (that was powdered sugar all over your pants at that Vancouver party- really!)
• wear headbands
• like to party in your underpants, usually neon briefs (boo on the lack of underpants parties, TFG on the lack of neon briefs!)
• wear a white belt
• wear Chuck Taylors/Vans/Pumas (shiteous Nikes for evah!)
• wear Uggs
• wear a bandana/big scarf around your neck
• wear a fedora
• wear fitted blazers
• have plugs
• have man bangs
• wear skinny jeans

Look at this fucking hipster, in an airport!

and lastly, the LATFH website said “hipsters kiss in between trash cans to get them more street cred.” I can’t figure out if this applies to you. I guess it’s “yes” if those dumpster rumors are true, “no” if they aren’t.

So, Rob, are you or aren’t you? By my tally, you have 10 (or 11) hipster points, but -23/-24 hipster points, which brings you solidly on the side of NOT a hipster! Rest easy, my angel- our love lives on!

Xoxo
obava

OH Obava as much as I’d like to not think he is, Rob just IS without even trying. He’s definitely not the annoying lame kind of hipster, thank God!!! What do you all think? Dork on his own? Hipster WITH a cause? Who loves Look at this effing hipster like me?!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter

UC is STILL gone on vacation and hopefully tanner than she was yesterday (yes, this is UC, posting a future post, in the past) Today with the help of applepie, we discuss turning our MEN into Rob!

Dear Rob,

Firstly, I have to say that you’ve been making my work life quite unproductive lately what with all your Bel Ami set pictures and videos coming out every day. But today as I was going about my usual business, I happened to be stopping by the mall later today to do some credit card swiping so I decided to give my dearest boyfriend (shall we call him Mr. Pie) a text asking if he needed anything in particular. He then texted me back asking me to pick up a couple v-necks for him at H&M since he was in need of replacing some old ones. Now when I saw the word “v-neck”, the first thing I thought was “Rob’s black v-neck! In Eclipse! OMG he looks so hot as Robward in Eclipse with that black v-neck on!” you know…because that’s normal. And then it hit me.

Rob, I think I’m inadvertently transforming my boyfriend into…YOU! Observe…

Exhibit A: The black v-neck…looks great on you, but even better on my floor.

Exhibit B: Button-fly jeans…Rob, what brand of button-fly jeans do you wear? Because if they are Lucky Brands, can I unbutton them to see if yours also says “lucky you” on the inside of the fly like Mr. Pie’s?

It’d be quite awkward to have actually taken a picture of Mr. Pie’s jeans while he was wearing them…moving on…

Exhibit C: Ray-Bans… every Rob fan should own a pair.

Exhibit D: Adidas Sambas…apparently you’ve recently changed from your Nikes to Adidas so I blame you for copying Mr. Pie on this one. (Hi Tom!)

Exhibit E: White undershirts…everywhere and all the time, even when sitting in a press interview.

Exhibit F: Fruit of the Loom boxer briefs…which you probably bought at the same place you bought your white undershirts. Walmart or Mark & Spencers when you’re in London?

Lots of nice rob crotch shots today…yum.

Exhibit G: Plaid. No description needed.

Exhibit H: Guitar. The only thing you’ve spent your millions of Twilight money on since you’ve become famous and the only thing Mr. Pie has spent his money on since he’s gotten a job.

So Rob, it seems that ever since you’ve taken over my life, I’ve been unknowingly channeling my inner desires for you through my boyfriend. Because seriously, I live in LA and you’re here a lot and I have yet to see you in flesh. Even if I did, let’s face it, you’re too distracted by the mullephant nowadays to care about the rest of us girls who’d graciously undo those button-flys for you. So my subconscious solution: make my own Rob! You see, Mr. Pie has a habit of only shopping when I’m around and only buys things after asking me for my approval. I guess that would explain why Mr. Pie’s wardrobe is slowly becoming more and more like yours. Plaid shirt? Yes. Button-fly jeans? Yes. K-Swiss sneakers? Noooo. Blue V-neck or Black V-neck? Black! Always BLACK! Plus, I sometimes even get to play “what would it be like to undress Rob?”

I do have one confession though. No matter what, Mr. Pie could never possess the jawporn/handporn/weakatthekneessmileandgiggle/wonkylegs …uh…fame… that you have. I did NOT just say that! =X

Oh and did I mention, Mr. Pie’s refrigerator contains a box of Hot Pockets and is always stocked with beer…but neither of which are due to my influence.

Here’s to Mr. Pie never ever seeing this! (I love you babe =])

You’ve made me delusional,

applepie

Ok, so I treat my boyfriend like he’s a real life Ken doll and dress him up like Rob..is that normal?

Applepie (cutest name ever), I don’t think you’re alone! I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t encouraged Mr. Choice to put on a few more flannel shirts than normal lately (although- I tried to get him to wear my knock-off Ray-Bans and he said, “No.. those are for teenagers.” HA!) What about the rest of you? Fess up! Have you swayed your man in the direction of more Rob-like!?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter