How I fell for Robert Pattinson: A Swedish story

In continuing with “UC goes away for the week so that she can hopefully be a more sane person when she returns from vacation,” we go back to an old LTR theme we used to run on Sundays but have stopped doing since we don’t post on Sundays anymore! We miss hearing your stories about “How you fell for Rob!” Enjoy this one today… all the way from Sweden:

Someday I'll look less like someone Chris Hansen is protecting and more like someone you'll want to bang

Dear Rob

I think the first time I ever saw you was in Harry Potter, since it premiered in 2005 I probably didn’t see it until 2006, I’m not the biggest HP fan, I just see the films because there is such a hype around it and I haven’t had the urge to read the books, yet. Well, I was about 17 years old, about to be 18 and I was a little to old to have crushes on actors, so I secretly kept it to myself that I thought “that nice boy looked really, well…hmm… nice. But I didn’t take it any further- you were really good looking- that’s all.

Two years later a friend introduced me to a book written by Stephenie Meyer (the name is all too cheesy in Swedish, but if you translate it directly it would be “if I could dream”). She told me that it was a real romantic young adult novel. She had borrowed the book from a 15 year old friend, (by that time I was 19 and she was 22) Since I’ve always had a soft spot for romantic young adult novels, I promised her I would read the book sometime. Then she told me that they were about to make movies based on the books (yes, she also told me there were several books, but at that time only two were translated into Swedish). I wasn’t all that enthusiastic- my love for romantic books isn’t my biggest pride. By this time I was reading KAFKA! A youth novel would just seem as a step backwards in my literary education. But then she dropped the big bomb: the lead would be played by Robert Pattinson. To be honest, that name didn’t resonate with me at first, I must have looked dumbfounded. She had to describe who he was, so she just told me that it was the one from Harry Potter- Cedric, you know, the good looking guy. I immediately understood, and she had peaked my interest again!

Something bad happened after this. I didn’t read the books, I didn’t see Twilight. I didn’t even think about you, Rob.

But this autumn New Moon came to the cinemas here in Sweden. I heard debates on the radio about how people thought it was wrong to scream and shout every time the vampires were on the screen. “It’s just fourteen year old crazy girls” they said. But I understood them- I knew that the vampires were good looking. Now I started to think about you again, and I decided that it was time to read the books. I went to my library and borrowed Twilight. I thought that I should read it slowly- I had a lot of other things to do and I usually get all to caught up in books (you know, the usual reading while walking, eating, watching TV, studying, sleeping, etc) but I couldn’t resist, I started reading a week before Christmas, and the week after Christmas I had read all four books! I was in a desperate mode. I even ordered Breaking Dawn in english, since the queue in the library was too long and the Swedish version was too expensive for my empty wallet.

And I saw the movies, wanting to scream every time you were on the screen!

But to be honest, the Twilight books aren’t the best books in the word, (PLEASE DON’T KILL ME FOR SAYING THIS) but because I visualized you every time Edward was mentioned, I loved reading them. The books are addictive and sometimes they are really funny too. But the feminist inside of me isn’t completely fond of Edward, he is too overprotective and he is all too driven by his jealousy. I would not take Bella’s place in the book, but I SO would in the movies (all because of you, Rob).

I started to google you on a daily basis- it became an obsessive behaviour. I watched a lot of YouTube videos, I acted in a way I never had before. Suddenly I realized, I had fallen for you. Everything I read about you, every video I saw made me fall even deeper.

"I got my first real six-string... In the summer of '99"

And you made music, good music! I’m a little bit of a snob when it comes to music, so I first didn’t believe those who said you were an excellent musician. But then I listened and liked it. I’m the one who falls for the guy with the guitar- yes I am, but not if he plays bad songs and sings like Bryan Adams when everyone clearly can hear that the guy doesn’t have a raspy voice at all.

I think we’re a perfect match, we have at least some things in common. We both think showers and shampoo are overrated, the hair cleans itself after a while and if you shower too often you ruin your body’s own natural defense. I will not be one of those girls who think you should shower more often or buy more clothes, or wash them more often. I love your style, and by loving your style I do not only mean your photo shoot or red carpet style. I love your street style- I’m a sucker for flannel shirts. And I definitely love your stubble. A clean shaven Robert does actually lose some of the sex appeal (but not my love!). I also have a thing against new technology- when my two year old cell phone stops working I’m considering taking my old cell phone back (It still works, though it’s five or six years old) and when that phone breaks I ‘ll borrow my sisters old nokia with SNAKE and no color screen. Recycling 4-evvahh!

Finally, I really want to thank you Rob for making Robert a sexy name. Let me illustrate why it’s not sexy to me. This is a collage I made of Sweden’s most famous Roberts:

Except the animated guy, none of them are young, fresh and sexy at all. The animated guy, well, he’s not a big turn on either. When my mother said that if my sister would have been a boy instead of a girl her name probably would be Robert I laughed for days. I still laugh when I think about it, Robert is for me a name that belongs to people over 50. But you proved to me that things can change. Now I can think about you instead.

A little greeting in Swedish, feel free to google translate it.

Om du någonsin kommer till Sverige så kan du alltid kontakta mig. Min säng dörr står öppen för dig. Jag kan bjuda på kakor och sen kan vi jamma tillsammans.

Yours truly,
Gabriella

AWWWW! All across the world people fall for Rob in similar ways! My favorite part of emailing with Gabriella was the conversation we had back & forth:

Gabriella: I am a non blonde, not named Inga, am short, and am not in possession of the swedish sin.
Me: But were you writing this while sitting in an Ikea chair & eating meatballs!? AND wearing clothes from H&M? What is the swedish sin?
Gabriella: I was definitely sitting on an IKEA chair, wearing H&M clothes and eating meatballs. What else could I be doing? The swedish sin is an old myth (from the late sixties) that said that swedes were more sexually outspoken, I think it has to do with naked females in old movies. Thanks for the answer, now I’ll party to some old ABBA music.

I love making friends around the world!!!

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