*Now that Rob is back in the states, it’s time to let him in on some of the fantastic places he’s missing out on. JennB wants him to come to Vermont and we kinda want to too! Rob, if you don’t we will!*
Sick of the city life? Tired of not being able to dine al fresco because of the fumes and the paparazzi? Weary of having your underwear selections so closely scrutinized? (Let’s face it, we all squealed when you chose the LARGE pair).
Then come to Vermont!
You’ll arrive at our first-class International Airport located in Burlington, our state’s largest city (maybe 50,000-60,000 people total) overlooking Lake Champlain, our state’s largest body of water. Several years ago there was an attempt to have it classified as a Great Lake, much to the chagrin and anger of the states who actually DO have a Great Lake. I know you’re an airport maven, and the 6 gates that construe the Burlington International Airport won’t confuse you. By the way, it’s an International Airport because Vermont borders Canada, and there are frequent flights to Toronto and Montreal. I’m happy to meet your plane and help you collect your guitar and dadcase (or are you schlepping a murse lately? What about the yellow bag?) and drive you in my M-van to your hotel (we have to stay in a hotel, or else my husband will get suspicious). We could stay at The Mid Town Motel, or the Bel-Aire Motel. How about the Hilton?
I’ll take you to Burlington for a night on the town, where we can stroll up and down Church Street, the well-known pedestrian walkway lined with shops and restaurants. There are plenty of places to grab some good beers, so we’ll check those out as well. The Vermont Pub & Brewery is one of my favorite places to enjoy a beer, and we’ll be sure to get the pint-sized version of the beer sampler. Then on to American Flatbread, for some feel-good flatbreads (also known as pizza, but healthier and organic thus the “feel-good” sell). There’s an Army & Navy Store and a bunch of second-hand clothing stores, like Old Gold, to stock up on skinny jeans and old flannels since you packed so lightly. We’ll hit Nectars for some after-beers fries & gravy, then retire to the Hilton for our own dance party. The best thing is, there won’t be any photographers in your face! With a couple of days of facial-hair growth, your dirty jeans, and flannels, you’ll fit right in with the Woodchucks around these parts (we call the natives woodchucks). Just be sure to get yourself a Boston Red Sox baseball hat – people don’t take kindly to the Yankees in Vermont. They have a small-ish following, but I would say that Vermont overall is a part of Red Sox Nation.
The next morning, you express a desire for more beer and a rural tour of Vermont. Can do! We head south of Burlington and hit up a couple of local breweries, Magic Hat and then Otter Creek in Middlebury. If you want to head further south (!!!) we can go to Killington and to Long Trail brewery. There’s not a lot to look at after you leave the big city, but it’s a beautiful, quiet part of the world. Bring your camera, we’ll take some snapshots of you next to a cow, I’ll take you to a purveyor of maple syrup (you can only get maple syrup in the Northeastern part of New England) for some samples, then we’ll go look at some livestock. If you’re really drunk, you can attempt to tip a cow, but be careful because those bovines can move FAST.
If you’re interested, I could drive us across a covered bridge and I wouldn’t mind if you put your arm around me like the courtin’ people used to do. The bridges were usually a place where a kiss was stolen, so maybe we can consider them old fashioned dumpsters and steal some other stuff. Like I said, there’s not much to see around here. I’m perfectly content to just stare at you, personally. I think the best part for you is that you won’t be hounded by photographers and rabid fans. I think that the Twidom does have some constituents up in the Green Mountains, but we’re pretty laid back.
We can go hiking on part of the Long Trail, but watch your wonky legs. We can visit our state’s capital, Montpelier, with the largest gold dome in New England (I think). There are some other breweries to hit, then we can drive WAY up into the sticks and see the Northeast Kingdom. This is a part of the state that really hasn’t changed much in recent history. I think they’re now getting dial-up for their computers that are run off a generator, but I could be wrong. Now you’ll get some stares, as will I, not because of your fame but because you’re from “away”. Remember those woodchucks I was telling you about? This is their den and they truly don’t take kindly to strangers. We should back away sllooooowwwwwwly and head back to the city, where I’ll put you on your plane. No need for disguises or shielding your face, there won’t be any pictures taken. No need to get to the airport at least 2 hours in advance due to “ORANGE ALERT”, the longest I’ve ever waited in security is about 20 minutes. Besides, with your new sweatshirt from UVM and your Red Sox hat, you can enjoy some long-awaited anonymity.
It might be boring up here in Vermont, but those who live here appreciate a slower pace, good local food, beer & wine, and the beauty that surrounds us every day. Not everyone’s a hippie, but overall, we love our state. Who cares that our ancestors probably fought one another in the War of 1812 and the Revolutionary War. For the Robward in you, there is a tribe of First People here – the Abenaki. I think you’d love to unhurried, unpestered side of it all (unless it’s mosquito season, then you’ll be hurrying away from those pests). There are a lot of celebrities who live in Vermont – Ben & Jerry, Luiz Guzman, and Sandra Bullock’s sister. Mia Farrow’s brother lived here until just recently. There are celebrities who come here because they like the feeling of getting away from it all. Granted, you can’t find a decent place to have dinner if it’s past 8:00 (9:00 on weekends if you’re lucky), and we don’t get new releases in the movie theatres as frequently as the cities do, but we have electricity and running water for the most part, and it would be a great chance for you to get away from the flashbulbs and fangirls. Come to Vermont. I’ll show you all around….
Maple syrupingly yours,
Hmm maple syrup… Ben & Jerry’s… covered bridges…. let’s go to Vermont everyone!!!!!! Thanks JennB! Anyone else from Vermont, whats the best thing for Rob to do there? Where else should be go in the US (besides my house?)