*Ahhh yes, Rob it’s time to break into your mailbag since you insist on having time away, going on vacation, not being snapped by the paparazzi and having a life outside of us… UGH, thanks a lot 😉 Feast your eyes on this love letter from a fan in Indonesia who either just learned the english language or has a faulty Indonesian to English translation dictionary*

So stable... so bleeding... so feverish

Dear Rob,

I’m one of your devotee from Indonesia. You know Indonesia, right? =) . And I realised that it must be lot of people, especially girls who ever said it, but im just want to say it by myself and I mean it that I’m REALLY REALLY LOVE AND ADORE YOU!!!. Eversince I saw you played Cedric Diggory in HP and Goblet Of Fire, you fascinated me with your handsomeness, inner beauty, and your stable role in that movie, whereas we all knew you’re just 17 y-o when you played Cedric, but still your act was very good!. But it’s too bad that you must died in HP and Goblet of Fire.. =(. But my addiction about you not just fading away. When I saw you as Edward Cullen in Twilight, wwwwooooooow, that tremble has starting again. Your mysterious, cold, silent thing has pulled me closer to know much about you. There’s something about you that undescribed with any word, that make me love you more. You’re just different from other hollywood actor I’ve ever known. You have that weird passion, and also you like have magical thing that make most girls in this world screaming, dying to see you.
c

Hey is this Indonesia? I love hanging out in trees in Indonesia

Actually, in my domain, the society is kind of underestimated you . There’s several people that have mocking you, And you know what I’ve done to them??? I’m mocking thme back, even worse!. I don’t care. All I care about is just you Rob!. I love you more than I love my BF. Ypu’re always in my dream while I’m sleeping. If I see lot of high trees, I imagined that you will climb the trees around just like Edward, and I’m your Bella. How crazy is that?? hehee. I thought that i have some kind of ROB FEVER rigth now. LOL

Is your brain still working? Still conjugating verbs and putting together sentences? Well take the jump to see her advice for Rob’s management and my cure for the fever

With Rob being MIA for who knows how long now (1 blurry picture stolen off someone’s Facebook account does not count for a sighting. I barely got the butterflies) “TheOldOne” has some observations about who Rob was becoming before he disappeared into his London lair. And if she’s right, I’d venture to say that after a few weeks in the cold, rainy hills of England (are there hills in England?) he’s even worse than he was before he left sunny LA…..

It is not only brunette's blood I crave...

Dear Mr. Pattinson,

May I call you Rob? I saw a picture of you the other day by chance (really, I wasn’t stalking you or looking everywhere online for any sign of life from you…). It was one with the mis-buttoned shirt and the stain on the pants. And I was disturbed that your face looked scarily like the “Edward” face—white, sad and brooding—and it occurred to me you might actually be turning into that fictional character you are so identified with! Hear this theory out: Your former life has abruptly ended, your once hopeful, shy self has been cruelly sucked into the cold world of celebrity existence. Your youthful dreams of following your own path with your musical talents and perhaps some indie films, and a nice girlfriend, have been wrenched from you, and the world now only sees the image of you as an eternal, perfect, soulless yet devastatingly beautiful creature. You are not allowed to exist as a fully human being any longer.

New breed of vampire- the hobo. Feeds on people exiting the halfway house...

Now you must lurk in rainy islands in a gloomy England lair, hiding from the din of humanity, listening to Ambulance Blues on the iPod and clinging to your lost humanity by rockin’ the flannel plaid and dorky baseball caps. Do you see where I’m going with this–now you must live a half-life, not able to interact with humans: Your music career no longer an option. Can’t go to college or get a job at Dad’s auto dealership or go see a friend’s band at a small venue! You’re trapped behind a façade, not able to trust anyone with your real self, having to keep away from casual contact, keeping your true self tucked away (sorry, shouldn’t use that word- don’t want you to get too tucked away.

Really, I’m worried. I‘ve never followed any celebrity gossip before, as those people didn’t ever strike me as real in the first place, and were too shallow to concern me. But you- you are intelligent and complex and sweet, and up until recently, kind of dorkily vulnerable and really clueless about the way your life would become a media circus.

Don’t let them do it, Rob, don’t let them turn you! Hang on to your indie sensibilities and find your true friends and people who understand and will protect you from the fickle fan vampires! Resist, choose your own way, grow old, get more interesting, get jowly and grizzled and paunchy, be recognized for your real talent and escape eternal damnation before it’s too late!

Best wishes,
The Old One

What do you think? Is Rob becoming a vampire? Or…. maybe not so much a vampire, but have you noticed that 2009 promo Rob was different than 2008 promo Rob? I did. And I was sad.

Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day here in the states!

And did you see what we did here? We posted a letter- NOT written by us. Cuz that’s what we do!!! Since we’re called “Letters to Rob” and all. There was never a rule that Moon & I had to write ALL the letters. Of course we LOVE writing the letters and do write most of them, but especially when times get tough- like in the Rob drought we’re having now, we LOVE to hear from you! So Submit your letters to Rob! We know you want to tell “him” something! So send it on in!!!

Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum, LTT, Twitter

*In light of the whole Tiger Woods scandal, January Morning tells Rob he has nothing to worry about if he ever chose to ditch the zero and get with a hero. IfyouknowwhatImsayin’.*

Go ahead Rob, we'll never know!

Dear Rob,

I know that you’re a celebrity but with all the insane coverage EVEN you must have heard about Tiger-gate. In light of all these developments, i want to tell you how if you were cheating you would never get caught – in case you ever get sick of K-Stew monogamy.
c

1. You dont know how to text well-enough to send me dirty messages so that i could save them and sell them to the media keep them for later. Considering you just recently updated your jitterbug to a real phone I’m really not convinced you even know how to text. Or, if you do… you probably text like an 8th grade girl. Like:
c

Hi, Whts ^

U r cute

Lets hang L8 @ my rm

I ❤ hotpockets

C u L8

DOH! I got caught. I shoulda been RPattz

c
2. You wear the same clothes for days. No one would suspect anything of you, if you came stumbling out of a hotel wearing the same clothes from last night… or even last week probably. People would just assume that your being your normal hygiene-challenged sexy self. No one would have to know you spent the night with someone who isnt a cranky mullet-wearing non-smiler your girlfriend.
c

3. You could say you were hanging out with your other sister. You know, that one NO ONE knows about. What’s her name? Veronica? Victoria? Vivienne? Who knows! Which is why is works to your advantage. You just tell K-Stew your current g/f you were spending time with her and since i think MAYBE 5 people have seen her face, she’ll definitely believe you.
c

Wait, I texted you WHAT?!

4. DENY DENY DENY. Rob, i know your good at it now. You denied, side-stepped, and dodged your way through countless interviews about banging befriending Kristen, so just sing the same old song. Anytime anyone mentions it, just answer your cryptic little answers, laugh, run your fingers through your hair, and exude your orgasmic everyday robness – people will believe!
c

At the end of the day, you might be just too much Rob for one woman… let the LTR girls take care of that for you! Remember, we are the rob is more than just a song – its a lifestyle!
c

Wanting to be Rob’s mistress number 1,

JanuaryMorning
c
If you’re number 1, can I be his number 2 gal? Wait… ummm maybe I’ll be number 3. Give a big hand to January Morning and let us know which mistress you are and what other tips Rob needs…

Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum, LTT, Twitter

Dear Rob,

Now any video with you is alright in my book- I’ll even watch the boring ones with slowly moving images set to sappy love songs, and I’ll occasionally watch a Robsten love video, just to see you kiss. (I of course hold up my third finger over Kristen’s face every time she comes on screen. It’s a lot of work, but it’s well worth it) But my favorites are the ones from the video creators who have real TALENT and set your hot face to a good tune with a flashy look! You’ll recognize one of our favorites around here, Biel, in the first video, but the rest are new to me!

Happy Saturday,
UnintendedChoice

Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum, LTT, Twitter

Donate!

Dear Rob,

I’m sure you’ll understand us taking a break from talking about you today to focus on something outside of ourselves. And besides you’re living under a rock right now so no harm, no foul, right? As we all know the country of Haiti and more specifically the capitol and surrounding areas of Port au Prince was hit Tuesday afternoon by a very strong 7.0 magnitude earthquake followed by multiple strong aftershocks. Living in an earth quake area myself I understand how scary it can be when it’s a lot smaller than that but figure into it the fact that Haiti is a developing country that probably has no building codes of procedures in place for earthquakes like we do in California. The resulting damage was devastating and crippling to a country that is already on the verge.

Now I don’t know if any of our readers are from Haiti or have experienced this massive natural disaster but I’d like to think that if our roles were reversed people who love us would reach out to help. I know it’s hard to sit at home, feeling overwhelmed and wondering what can we do to help? And that’s what we’ll be doing. Besides contributing to the relief ourselves we’d like to offer some ways for you to get involved from wherever you are…

There are tons of organizations offering donation opportunities and ways to help provide relief…

• The American Red Cross

• United Nations Disaster Relief

• Donating is as easy as texting! You can even do it on your “Jitterbug!” Text “Yele” to 501501 to donate $5. The donation will be added to your phone bill. Check out Yele’s website for more information a message from musician and Haitian Wyclef Jean

• If Fanfic is your thing The Fandom Gives Back, lead by Ms. Kathy, is organizing their own way of giving back. A ton of awesome authors have signed up to send the folks who donate to relief funds a story right to their inbox! Get more information on how to participate at The Fandom Gives Back!

Read UC’s note she tweeted yesterday and grab some tissues.

Donate and give back ya’ll!
Themoonisdown

Have you donated? Do you know of anyone living in Haiti?

Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum, LTT, Twitter

Dear Rob,

Congrats on the honor of being named Britain GQ’s #1 Best Dressed male for 2010! That is quite an honor for your stylist. Your dad must be SO happy to know that his clothes are as hip as he thinks they are.

GQ stated that you were:

Extremely elegant and inspiring, the true essence of contemporary man.

It’s hard to argue with that description:

Contemporary men love the feel of crushed velvet against their skin

The true essence of a contemporary man is robbing the elderly greeter at Walmat's vest from his uniform

When visiting Grandpa P in the hospital, Rob was inspired to elegantly model his outfit after the volunteer candy stripers

GQ goes on to describe to their male readers how they can “Get the look” and dress like you, Robert Pattinson:

But to be honest, their style guide reads more like an advertisement for All-Saints clothing (And “coincidentally” the GQ Best Dressed list is ‘published in association with All Saints” Huh!) and I’m not entirely convinced of its accuracy.

That’s why I’ve put together a Rob Pattinson style guide of my own! Check it out after the jump!

Dear Rob,

The other day I was asked by a friend to explain why some fans hate on Kristen Stewart so much and I was forced to tell him (yes, him) that the hate stems from three places and those being Robsten, Nonsten and Don’t Give a Crapsten and well to say I felt a bit stupid after writing all this out would be an understatement. So to help further my idiocy I’ve decided to let you in my email diatribe and see what it’s like for us here in the struggle (aka bloggers and fans of yours).

From    Crazy Guy <dude@gmail.com>
To          Moon <stupidfortryingtoexplainthis@gmail.com>
Date     Dec 24, 1973 at 5:53 PM
Subject    Re: seriously, you don’t want to know about this stuff!

ok settle in. so there’s two (well three) sides to this asinine story.

Robsten love lives yall

First we have…

Robsten – These are the people who believe that Rob and KStew are either together or should be. Robsteners are almost always huge kstew fans as well as super (read almost obsessively) interested in the supposed love life of two people they’ve never met. They think they’re “meant to be” but are pulled apart or told to keep their love hidden by secret unseen forces aka the big bad movie studio who they’ve turned into the villian along with the media, their management, paparazzi and anyone who opposes their opinion. They are crazy.*

Now a Robsteners mortal enemy is…

Loud and proud!

Nonsten– these are people who don’t believe that either Rob and Kristen are together or that they should be together. They’re  “just friends” who may or may not be friends with benefits. These people believe Robsteners are crazy house wives who are bored with their lives so they project what they wish they had (a real life Bella and Edward relationship) onto Rob and KStew. They believe Robsteners will stop at nothing to have them together whether that means making up stuff or reading way into stuff like pictures and interviews. Nonsteners are often called single, loser, overweight cat ladies who think Rob will fall in love with them, by Robsteners. They are crazy.*

Follow the cut and read everything before you get your pitchforks out

You know when you go away for a work conference and you sit in boring meetings all day and then at 5:15pm they give out awards but you’re busy texting friends to get through the boredom then suddenly everyone is clapping because you won an award and you missed it because you were texting friends and you were like “Wtf!? How did I win an award? I blogged about vampires all year!” But you walk on the stage anyway, accidentally bringing your phone with that’s currently buzzing with text replies and you try to laugh it off when the VP of marketing says “I saw you texting instead of paying attention” then you go to cocktail hour to celebrate and then afterwards @janetrigs picks you up to take you out for more drinks and by the time you get home it’s 12:30 am and you’re many drinks in and have just NOTHING to write to Rob? Yeah… this is one of those days…Thank GOD for all of you who write amazing letters….. enjoy this one from “The Old One.” She just saved my ass 🙂

Dear Rob (can I call you Rob? I feel I know you so well),

We’ve long passed that feeding frenzy that lead up to the New Moon premiere, and I’m starting to feel a vibe from you and the rest of the cast—enough already–and there’s still two (maybe three?) films to go in the “franchise,” as you call it. It’s got to be getting so old. Let’s pull out (!) for a longer shot and look at what I personally am getting really excited about, and I’m sure you are too: your future in films! Enough of the PG-13 teen heartthrob angst! Let’s get to the juicy stuff- the MATURE audience stuff. I can’t wait! You’ve got this on the horizon (from Screendaily.com via Robsessed): “Bel Ami, the film of Guy De Maupassant’s erotically charged story of ambition, power and seduction. . . about a young man’s rise to the top of Parisian high society in the 1890s, via the beds of the city’s most glamorous and influential women. . . . In a world where politics and media jostle for influence, where sex is power and celebrity an obsession, the film has, say the producers, a contemporary relevance which should resonate with audiences worldwide.” I’ll say. That’s resonating with me, right here. Swoon.

And then you have your other upcoming film, Unbound Captives, where you’re going to learn Comanche and ride bareback (!) For God’s sake, Rob, I don’t think I can take it. You’re going to give the Wolfpack a run for their Native American money. You’ll have to grow your hair way out or get extensions (we know how you feel about those, and remember those photoshopped pictures Moon and UC did a while back?) Will you have to wear a loincloth and dash around with buffalo? That’s so manly, OMG. Will you try to get a tan? That’s Oscar material right there!!

You’ve said you want to keep yourself so busy working on the sets of these various projects for a year or two that hopefully the furor will have died down a bit and you can have a real life again. Well I for one want you to keep on working until you get your wish and your hair recedes like Jack Nicholson’s. Then you can get your Lifetime Achievement Award in Best Hair.

No really, I have all kinds of ideas for the “vehicles” that would let your light shine. How about playing a pouty, sexy 60’s rock star that’s chased by screaming groupies, a la Mick Jagger? You’ve got the musical chops AND the pout. And there would be a LOT of sex and drugs and rock and roll. Or you could totally be the next James Bond- The remake of “Octopussy”! You could wear the same suit and bowtie you wore to the Oscars. Let’s see… how about Suburban Dog Millionaire, the story of a lowly teen model from the shabby outskirts of London whose karma leads him to fortune and to get back the mullet-haired love of his youth? It is written! Okay, I’d better stop, but I’m sure others can come up with more ideas.

With eyes on the future and much affection,

The Old One

What do you think Rob should do next? What are you hopes for him outside of the Twilight saga?

Wondering why I chose to post all pics of Drunk Rob today? Well, get to know @janetrigs and you’ll know why. XOXO thanks for showing me around DC girl!!!!

Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum, LTT, Twitter

*Since we write a blog called “Letters to Rob” we receieve TONS of emails (yea, sorry it takes a while for us to respond sometimes we’re busy with uh… rob… things). Mostly people write to us, about us, about Rob or about Twilight. But then there are those “special” people who think WE ARE ROB. Cause Rob writes letters to himself on a blog, daily. Riiiiight. So let’s empty out ol Rob’s mailbag and see what the crazy has brought us today and then we’ll let “Rob” answer them cause he has nothing else to do right now while he’s holed up in his parents house*

it's true

hey rob (if your robs assistant reading please pass on0 –

you probly dont remeber me but my names also “rob” (really “robert”) and you were at this concert of your freinds band at that place hoetel cafe in hollywood? and you came outside when i was outside smoking and asked for one of mine and i gave you one. i thinkn you di’dn’t even smoke it because all these paparazis were all over you pretty fast but we made jokes about the door guy and how he thinks hes this poet and always reading his shitty poetry to people? anyway that was me. i had on a fallout boy tshirt.

anyway i know its wierd but i had a favor to ask you becasue you seem like a ok guy. i took this girl natalee to see that show and then she was all pissed that i met you and she didnt (she was inside wtching the show). and i mean she went on about how why did’nt i come in and get her and introduce her and all this. sometims she does that and comes off all like a bitch but shes always really sweet to my little brother whos “learnig disabled” and shes mosty really nice. and ill be honest man, she will do whatever thing i want hr to doin the sack so you know how it is. but now so whenever we get in a fight shes always like why didnt you even think about me and come get me you know i think hes my favrite acter, you never think about me only yourself your so selfish and i dont even know why i date you. (she means me.) blah blah blah pms shit. but now its like shes not even ltting me touc h her at all.

Read the rest of the other Rob’s letter along with Rob’s response and some more amazing FallOut Boy tshirts

Today we share part 2 of the “How my mother became aware of Rob’s hottness” fan letter!

I kinda miss the short hair

Dear Rob,

Today I got more proof that my mother wants to jump your bones every bit as much as the rest of us females (and some males) do. I left the Robsessed site open after I used the computer this morning, and when I came into the living room later today, I saw my mother sitting by the Mac staring at a picture of you. I snuck up behind her.

Bianca: “What are you doing?”
the Mother: “What?! Nothing!”

The mother makes a horrible attempt to hide the huge screen with her arms.

Bianca: “You were just staring at that picture of Robert Pattinson.”
the Mother: “Don’t be ridiculous!”
Bianca: “Oh please! I just saw you ogling at him.”
the Mother: “I did no such thing! I don’t know how to work these Mac computers, I didn’t know how to go to another site.”
Bianca: “That’s hilarious, you use this computer all the time!”
the Mother: “Hmph!”
Bianca: “Admit it, you’ve totally got the hots for him”
the Mother: “I certainly do not! He must be young enough to be my son!”
Bianca: “Yes he is, he’s my age. Young and delicious, just your type, apparently.”
the Mother: “Shut up!”
Bianca: “You’re SO into him!”
the Mother: “What did I just tell you, Bianca?!”
Bianca: “There’s no reason to be ashamed. No one can resist that level of hotness.””
the Mother: “I don’t have time for this, I need to take the clothes out of the dryer.”

My poor confused mother!

– Bianca

That’s not all! Apparently Bianca’s entire family likes to talk about Rob, read more after the jump!