OMG! You went thrift store shopping with Kristen & purchased some old dirty clothes? Wow. Thank you so much. You have given me AMAZING content for a letter to you.
Remember when it was cool to say “NOT” when you were 12? Those were the days. ALSO “the days” were when you used to show up more & do stuff other than look dirty in a nasty ‘cap,’ (I hate the word ‘cap’) frown at the camera and wear flannel. Throw me a bone here! (that’s what she said)
It all started when JodieO read that article on MTV.com where, as she puts it, Cathy the Cougar can’t stop talking about Twilight because she is desperate for publicity. The article said,
“I thought it would be cool if Rob had long, romantic hair,” Hardwicke told the gathered attendees. “So we put extensions on Rob and he just hated it. He sat there in the chair for eight hours and was like, ‘No.'”
Impromtu letter to Cathy the Cougar:
It would not be “cool” for Rob to have long hair. #1 because no one over the age of 11 has said “cool” since ’96. And #2 because long hair is not romantic. It’s sicknast. Does this look romantic to you? My guess is you dreamed up this idea at 4:30 am after you finally decided to put down the latest Harlequin romance novel and get some shut eye.
Or perhaps at 2 am during your late night TV watching alone in your flannel PJ bottoms (a gift from Rob & Kristen from their last thrift store shopping expedition) stuffing your face with Tuffuti vegan ice cream sammys, Fabio jumped on screen and reminded you that he can’t believe it’s not butter.
robio is my fabio
Or was it that you were feeling insecure because you once you were seen in public looking like Michael Oregano’s Rastafarian dealer? So you figured if you could get everyone’s dream man, Edward, looking romantic & handsome with long hair, people would forget your fashion faux-pas?
People didn’t forget.
Instead, they felt obligated to share this “what could have been” with the world:
Glad you lost that battle, Cathy. We’re still friends!
Back to you, Rob, after the jump…. we’re not done with you quite yet…
The girls at The Forum were having way too much fun imaging you as a long-haired vamp. They tried you out as Louis from Interview with a Vampire:
It worked nicely. Maybe the crazy cougar did know what she was talking about. But we all feel it came together best with you as the vampire Lestat:
Do you see what we do when you give us nothing to freak out over? We’ve resorted to imagining you as a long-haired Creole vampire, Fabio or on the cover of a romance novel. Don’t make me photoshop you as Frodo from Lord of the Rings. I’ll do it, I really will…….
Badly needing another hobby,
Girls at Rob’s Flat on the Forum (specifically JodieO & Emmeloowhoo) you RULE! Big kisses to JodieO for photo-shopping almost all of the pics. And to Moon who didn’t question me when I sent her a link to Fabio & a link to Rob. She knew what to do. Good Moon. x
Oh just a few more “Long-Haired Rob” for your pleasure: