The other day I was asked by a friend to explain why some fans hate on Kristen Stewart so much and I was forced to tell him (yes, him) that the hate stems from three places and those being Robsten, Nonsten and Don’t Give a Crapsten and well to say I felt a bit stupid after writing all this out would be an understatement. So to help further my idiocy I’ve decided to let you in my email diatribe and see what it’s like for us here in the struggle (aka bloggers and fans of yours).
From Crazy Guy <email@example.com>
To Moon <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Date Dec 24, 1973 at 5:53 PM
Subject Re: seriously, you don’t want to know about this stuff!
ok settle in. so there’s two (well three) sides to this asinine story.
First we have…
Robsten – These are the people who believe that Rob and KStew are either together or should be. Robsteners are almost always huge kstew fans as well as super (read almost obsessively) interested in the supposed love life of two people they’ve never met. They think they’re “meant to be” but are pulled apart or told to keep their love hidden by secret unseen forces aka the big bad movie studio who they’ve turned into the villian along with the media, their management, paparazzi and anyone who opposes their opinion. They are crazy.*
Now a Robsteners mortal enemy is…
Nonsten– these are people who don’t believe that either Rob and Kristen are together or that they should be together. They’re “just friends” who may or may not be friends with benefits. These people believe Robsteners are crazy house wives who are bored with their lives so they project what they wish they had (a real life Bella and Edward relationship) onto Rob and KStew. They believe Robsteners will stop at nothing to have them together whether that means making up stuff or reading way into stuff like pictures and interviews. Nonsteners are often called single, loser, overweight cat ladies who think Rob will fall in love with them, by Robsteners. They are crazy.*
Follow the cut and read everything before you get your pitchforks out
Now the third and far less vocal group were dubbed by us:
Don’t give a Crapsten/fucksten – cause whether Rob and Kristen are together or not it doesn’t matter or affect these people. Or that’s what the say. They try to claim that they don’t care but secretly they care just as much as Robsteners and Nonsteners they’re just far less vocal. They are only slightly less crazy.*
While all of them are batshit crazy the most fireworks comes from the Robsteners (especially the KStew lovers) and Nonsteners. Pitting them against each other is a sure fire way for all HALE to break loose.
So yea… that’s about it. You’ve now been schooled in the ways of the fandom.
Do you hear that sound? Its the sound of your brain cells dying.
Not choosing sides!
*We’re ALL crazy, I don’t discriminate!*
So what do you think? Is this a pretty fair assessment? Have you ever had to explain this to anyone? Do you not fall into that sterotype? Do you want to get your pitchfork still?