Posted by: Bekah | January 10, 2010

What my family thinks of Robert Pattinson

Today we share part 2 of the “How my mother became aware of Rob’s hottness” fan letter!

I kinda miss the short hair

Dear Rob,

Today I got more proof that my mother wants to jump your bones every bit as much as the rest of us females (and some males) do. I left the Robsessed site open after I used the computer this morning, and when I came into the living room later today, I saw my mother sitting by the Mac staring at a picture of you. I snuck up behind her.

Bianca: “What are you doing?”
the Mother: “What?! Nothing!”

The mother makes a horrible attempt to hide the huge screen with her arms.

Bianca: “You were just staring at that picture of Robert Pattinson.”
the Mother
: “Don’t be ridiculous!”
Bianca
: “Oh please! I just saw you ogling at him.”
the Mother:
“I did no such thing! I don’t know how to work these Mac computers, I didn’t know how to go to another site.”
Bianca
: “That’s hilarious, you use this computer all the time!”
the Mother
: “Hmph!”
Bianca
: “Admit it, you’ve totally got the hots for him”
the Mother
: “I certainly do not! He must be young enough to be my son!”
Bianca
: “Yes he is, he’s my age. Young and delicious, just your type, apparently.”
the Mother
: “Shut up!”
Bianca
: “You’re SO into him!”
the Mother
: “What did I just tell you, Bianca?!”
Bianca
: “There’s no reason to be ashamed. No one can resist that level of hotness.””
the Mother
: “I don’t have time for this, I need to take the clothes out of the dryer.”

My poor confused mother!

– Bianca

That’s not all! Apparently Bianca’s entire family likes to talk about Rob, read more after the jump!

I miss seeing Rob on set... I miss Rob...

Hello, Rob.

I would like to tell you about my brother’s reaction to the refrigerator magnet. I was sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast, when my brother came into the room.

the Brother: “What the hell is this?”
Bianca
: “Thats Robert Pattinson, as you very well know”
the Brother
: “He’s smoking.”
Bianca
: “That’s what mom said”
the Brother
: “Who the hell does he think he is? James Dean? Has he deluded himself into thinking he’s as cool as Jimmy Dean?”
Bianca
: “He doesn’t try to BE James Dean. The photoshoot is just inspired by James Dean. And it was the photographers idea, not Rob’s”
the Brother
: “So he’s a f*cking moron without any opinions”
Bianca
: “What the hell are you talking about? What a stupid thing to say. You’re just jealous”
the Brother
: “Jealous? JEALOUS?! Of course I’m jealous! I have to slave myself through law school for several years just to end up in a crappy boring job, and this guy right here is like 10 years younger than me and is making a shitload of money just by standing around looking creepy and weird. And even though he looks like he has some major BO issues and dresses like a homeless person, he gets ass all the time. So yes, I AM jealous”
Bianca
: “Wow.. You know, he’s 23, only a year younger than you”
the Brothe
r: “I stand by what I said”
Bianca
: “What about K-Stew?”
the Brother
: “What about her?”
Bianca
: “Well, she’s only 19 and makes as much money as Rob does. Are you jealous of her too?”
the Brother
: “No, she’s a girl. And kinda hot”
Bianca
: “God, you’re dumb”

-Bianca

What does YOUR family say about Rob!? Share below! Happy Sunday!

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Responses

  1. Omg this reminds me of my mum calling me every time Robs on the news… She’s all like: “Bleriana!!! There’s dad dude you stalk online!!!”
    And my dad always says: “Oh! He really looks like a vampire!”
    You just gotta love them both don’t you…. *sigh*

    • ^^I meant “There’s THAT dude …”
      me needs to learn tiping..

  2. While perusing my VF magazine with The Rob featured, my mom said ‘He seems nicer than your last boyfriend.’ So…either my mom thinks I’m dating a man that is in VF OR she’s as deluded as I am about the status of my and Rob’s relationship. Either works for me.

    • I join you in the ‘deluded about the status of my relationship with Rob’ club. The one friend that I’ve shared a bit of this with, listened to my ramblings about Rob, and then asked me why I was getting so excited! I was speaking faster than I normally do and I was gesturing like crazy. Shades of Bella: I like my delusional state just fine!

  3. Well… in my case I’d be the mother in this little scenario! Or I would have been until I finally admitted my intense fondness for Rob!

    My 19 year old cant decide if she like’s Rob or Taylor best and my 11 year old is totally Team Jacob. Me… I’m Robsessed to the extreme!

    My husband just doesn’t understand any of it. lol.

    • Tupelohoney~
      It sounds like you have a very fun household.

      • LOL. Yeah, it definitely has it’s moments.

  4. well…
    mother….mhmm..does ..”rolling the eyes” ..count as a “proper” reaction?
    brother…pretty much the same words as Bianca’s bro

    I guess…GUYS do NOT understand his HOTNESS….
    NORMAL that!

    • No, not every guy…
      A few weeks prior I talked to someone and we discussed the Edward candids and I said that I would have liked Henry Cavill aswell… And guess what he answered: “I think Robert Pattinson did a pretty good job. I totally get why girls obsess over him”
      SAY WHAT?!?
      I was really shocked… And hated myself for thinking about someone else being able to be Edward…. *shame*
      But anyhow… that showed me that some men actually get it…

      P.S. That guy is not gay, nor bi… I know it first hand…

  5. “is making a shitload of money just by standing around looking creepy and weird”

    O.Kay.

  6. Back in November when we saw alot of Rob, (Oh..how I miss those days). Anyway a New Moon trailer came on the television. My 21 year old nephew, who rarely speaks mumbled ” That dude has got to be the luckiest son of a b$tch on the planet right now”. The women in the room spontaneously began giggling. Nephew shakes head, “awe..that’s just wrong”
    So is Rob lucky? Yes. But what most men don’t understand is that it’s so much more than just luck. We know what it is, don’t we ladies?

  7. I don’t talk about my Robsession with anyone.

    My 9 yo daughter takes great delight in teasing me every so often… in front of others… and that’s when I know I deserve an Oscar for “acting” like he really doesn’t matter to me.

    Can someone get Nick on the phone for me?

    LOL!

    • I talk about Rob as little as possible and I minimize the screen when my kids come in the room. My DH and kids know about about my crush but have no idea of the extent of it. My 11yo loves to tease me too, that’s why I try to avoid being ‘caught’ with my Robporn! LOL!

      • I try to hide it as much as I can too!

        Dear Rob,
        I’m sorry! I’m not ashamed of my love (obsession) for you! It’s just that if I let people know too much about it my husband would probably divorce me and I’d get sent to the loony-bin!

        Love,
        tupelohoney

        • Tupelohoney – me too, divorce and looney bin. I’ve resolved to putting the pics of Rob to an extended drive and hide it so DH doesn’t see them.

          loving40’s- I try to hide my robsession as well but ever now and then I slip! A lot of times I tell my sis or friends that see me with stuff w/ Rob in it that it’s for my toddler. :-). It’s true though, she loves Rob too, maybe just not as much as I do. I got years to work on her on that.

          • Um, we must be twins. My hubs knows of my acute fondness for Rob but not the full extent. When he saw my Rob stash of pics on my laptop and commented on it I blew it off. Then I bought a jump drive and told him I was using it for work but what it really contains is all my pictures of Rob. Then I deleted the ones on my laptop to a less than ridiculous number of 10. Every so often I have to go in and move them over so it doesn’t get out of hand.

  8. My mom accompanied me to the midnight showing of NM, and she admits he’s “nice looking”. My sister flat out thinks he’s “eww, gross”. My daughter (she’s only 7, give her time) runs around yelling “Team Jacob!”

    My husband alternates between calling Rob “that asshole”, “that skinny British jerk” or “your vampire” depending on his mood.

    • Dazzle your husband sounds like my husband. Maybe they were separated at birth! πŸ™‚

    • ..”your vampire”…me like…sounds so familiar..lol

    • your 7 year old daughter sounds just about Jacob’s type.

      • HAHAHAHHA… That was a good one Alice!!

    • My husband once called him a “skinny white-skinned S.O.B.” He didn’t get to reap any benefits (wink, wink) from my Robsession for a week!

      • That’s harsh!

        • yeah… but much deserved, I think.

      • Good call!

  9. Well, my daughter is obsessed more than I am. In fact, she is the only person I discuss it with. Our loathing of all things KStew is pretty funny sometimes. And motherly love is strong…I gave her my RPatz calendar I recieved for my birthday.

    • Now that makes me wish for a mama like that… Mine’s pretty awesome but she does nothing but call me when Robs on TV…

  10. My hubby is busy taunting me with “your sparkly, gay vampire” comments most of the time. However, he did purchase me an Edward poster for Christmas, that is currently hanging proudly in my closet.

    He can’t see the hotness of that “skinny foreign douche”—but I certainly can.

    • I think the husbands are resentful of the fact that they should be thankful for Rob!

      • “Thankful for Rob”– yes, yes, yes, we should ALL be thankful for Rob!

        • Mine is very greatful for Rob, because he definalty reaps the rewards of my Robsession. He keep his mouth shut most of the time.

          • Becky, mine keeps his mouth shut most of the time too, only occasionally does he make comments like the “skinny S.O.B.” one. He’s learned that it’s in his best interests not to!

  11. My family and friends are fully aware of my Robsession. My daughter gave me a cardboard cutout Robward for Christmas last year and we brought him on our family summer beach vacation! He is a huge hit at parties. Some of friends occasionally threaten a Robvention, but most just shake their heads and laugh.

    • I wanted to give you 25 thumbs up for being so hilariously shameless. I love it.

  12. He looks a lot like my ex in the first photo, my ex wasn’t very nice. I’d like to think that Rob is a much nicer person. I will dwell on that thought.

    Bianca’s mom is funny! My mom thinks that Rob is hot and she says it :-). No shame. She’s perused my robporn and she had fun~! She read Twilight too. Haha. I have to admit I felt weird when I saw her going thru my laptop though.

    The brother, um well yeah he’s so jealous! I have a younger brother and for some odd reason he also likes Rob. So I asked him, “are you gay?” And he said, NO! He said he thinks Rob is handsome and a decent guy. It was nice to hear that for a change, especially from a man. My DH usually don’t have nice things to say about Rob. He asks like I’m about to run away with Rob or something. Geez, I wish right?

    • OOps typos again, sorry. I haven’t had breakfast yet!

      I meant to say “He acts like I’m about to run away with Rob…”

    • lol
      decent guy = maximal-Hottie
      that’s guy-language..
      sweet!

  13. His short hair iz cute but i like when he runs his hands through his hair and he cant do that with shot hair.

    • I was just thinking the same thing!

  14. My husband just shakes his head, but points him out when he sees him on tv! My son calls him my “boyfriend”! My mom is in love too! And my mother in law supports my habit by buying me Rob and Twilight stuff! I got all kinds of stuff from a jewlery bow, tshirts, a jacket and calendars!

  15. i logged onto my facebook the day after new years only to see that i had recieved a “happy new years blingee icon” from my mom. sure, it says “happy new year” and has glittering confetti on it, but there is also a picture of rob. color me intrigued.

  16. “skinny foreign douche” WIN! Best jealous guy quote of the day!

  17. All my friends say “Why the fuck do you love that skinny foreigner jackass?” So I say “Because he’s sexier then you’ll ever be and he seems like a nice guy in real life.”

  18. I’m not a teenager (only at heart), and my obsession has gone to the point of spending every possible free minute , just looking at every possible picture of ROB in the Internet. Can’t go to sleep without watching certain Robscenes from twilight , it’s my own personal lullaby. My sister thinks that I am CRAZY , he could definately be my son. I don’t even think that I’m innapropiate, I’m that delisonal … my biggest mistake was to link my youtube account to my facebook, so now every person I know , knows about how CRAZY I am about ROB. And now that everyone kows , even my avatar is all ROB… LOL.. Watching him is like having an orgasm.
    He makes me CRAZY and I’m loving every minute of it:)

  19. Bianca’s mother seems funny.it’s just my sisters who knows my robsession and looks like they don’t get it and don’t care too. i also have teenage cuosins who likes Twilight but they are just on Edward/Jacop thing .They ‘re not aware to understand how a wonderful man Rob is.i have no one to share my robsession around but thanks to fandom makes me feel better and happy and of course normal

  20. My husband doesn’t mind Rob. Sure he makes the occasional random comment about why I’m on my laptop so much but then he bought me the Rob calendar for Christmas. He gave the disclaimer, “Just don’t put it in the middle of the living room or something, k?” I was grinning from ear to ear. Of course, only my husband would realize that anymore for me it’s not as much about Twilight as it is about Rob himself. Gotta love him!

    • ..your hubby was cute to buy you that calendar with GOURGEOUS STUNNING Rob!

  21. *misses the checkered jacket and the short hair too* When will he wear it again? :-/

    C’mon, Rob, run out of clean clothes again and wear the checkered one! For old times sake! *sigh*

    • Yep, Love it too. He looks much more manly with his shorter hair. Short hair Rob would order for you at a restaurant while long hair Rob would ask you to explain half of the menu.

      • LMAO!WIN!
        Is there a similar analogy for plaid-Rob/suit-Rob?
        just asking, that was too funny!

        • When Rob’s in a suit, I think several things:

          1. He is temporarily a slave for Summit

          2. I will remove said suit slowly, disrespectfully…and thoroughly…

          When Rob is in plaid shirt:

          thoughts (still) involve removing plaid shirt, disrespectfully but on a bear skin rug with his hop bone exposed.

          • Tell it, girl! I love plaid shirt Rob!

          • Yes! He only ever wears a suit when he’s slaving for Summit! Although he might choose to wear tweed on his own, but only because it takes him back to his British roots, kind of a nostalgia thing. I think someone with cleverer skills than me could make a whole chart of the symbolic meaning of everything Rob: Long hair = ?, short hair = ?, beard = ? suit = ? Stoli shirt = ? misbuttoned plaid shirt = ? Then we could De-code the messages!

          • Meant to say “hip” bone. WTF is a hop bone?

          • Old One,
            Love your idea of de-coding the meaning of everything, Rob!!!!
            I ❀ you!

          • ML- suit Rob or plaid Rob, I like them both ;-).

            Love how you said “hop” bone! LOL. I thought of a meaning but I won’t post it here.

          • A “hop” bone, hmmmmm, I have a few ideas about what it could be!!!

        • I think suit-Rob would hire someone to buy you a Tiffany necklace for your birthday, while plaid-Rob would forget about it and improvise a second hand embarrassing song.

          • “Improvise a 2nd hand embarrasing song?” Brills, Alice!!!

          • Alice(NaA) LMAO again….!!
            Thank you! That was brills like lion says….

            Lion
            summit slave…brills too
            “hop bone”…too funny…that was surely… a Freudian slip..!
            were you thinking to hop on the hip or was it all the hoppla of the hip bone???
            Anyway I’m sooo with YOU!!!

        • I’m pretty sure Rob enjoys being suit Rob from time to time, as long as the suit has a plaid lining. πŸ˜‰
          Suit Rob has a driver, picks you up right on time, and holds your hand has you get out of the backseat. He proceeds to eyefu*k the sh!t out of you over an expensive dinner complete with great wine and dessert. Then he takes you back to his place and loosens his tie right when he walks through the door, taking you over the arm of the couch because he just couldn’t wait for the bedroom.
          Plaid Rob calls about ten minutes in advance to see if you want to ‘grab some grub and a few Heines’, meets you at the bar, forgets his wallet so you have to pay, and takes several smoke breaks in the freezing ass cold. The eyefu*cking still happens but instead of taking you back to his place, he takes a detour on the way to your car, stops behind a dumpster and gives you a quick pounding.
          I’d take either Rob. And perhaps I’ve read to much fanfiction this weekend! *blushes*

          • “forgets his wallet?” Awesomesauce, SS.

          • LOL!!!! “takes you behind a dumpster for a quick pounding”
            Thanks for the huge morning laugh my dear πŸ˜€

          • But of course. I’ll be here all week folks! πŸ˜‰

      • …and then eat your plate too.
        Nuh uh. Screw that. I’m taking him to McD’s! GET YOUR OWN BURGER, ROB!

  22. On times like this I am happy that I live alone and cyber Rob is all mine mine mine!

  23. Haha…lucky! My mom still says he’s too young…she hasn’t admitted that she has the hots for him yet.

    YET.

    πŸ™‚

    • That’s ok Ash, MammaFrag will come around sooner or later. In the mean time…more for us!

  24. My hubby reckons he is gay πŸ™‚ And he quotes to numerous peeps when drunk “I don’t really care, as long as I’m getting some, she can drool over whoever she wants”

    I knew I married him for a reason.

    x

    • Mine too (re: thinks he’s gay). I think that’s just what they tell themselves to feel better.

      Poor Rob is the endless target of many jokes also involving Richard Gere and hamsters in our household thanks to my significant other (don’t ask). The jokes get dirtier in relation to the quantity of wine that has been consumed.

      • Oh no! The Richard Gere-hamster thing (I can’t even type ‘Rob’ in with that) wasn’t an image that I was looking for! Gah!!! Sorry that you have to hear it though.

    • I don’t really care, as long as I’m getting some, she can drools over whoever she wants”

      Yeah, Cazza, I think my husband pretty much feels the same way. And he does get quite a bit thanks to Rob! lol.

      • This is my husband exactly

      • I meant drool not drools! Can’t type worth crap.

  25. My nine year old daughter has her first mini-crush on Edward Cullen… But she still can’t decide who she loves more- Edward Cullen or Edward Scissorhands.

  26. my mother thinks he has beautifull hair πŸ™‚
    she has potential for twi-mom, i can see that πŸ™‚
    when i was reading twilight books my family thouht i was crazy because i did that like 24/7 and my dad teased my about vampires

  27. Dear Bianca,

    I think I want to be your best friend now. Your family sounds pretty awesome and very entertaining.

    Also, is your brother single? Just curious…

    Lets be besties
    XO
    Chelsea
    aka Rosalie with the awesome rack~

    • Yes, lets!
      You can imagine how much arguing there is in my house, though. I mean, everyone gets in a state over an effing refrigerator magnet!
      Luckily, I live 8 hours away, and I only have to put up with their crap during the holidays πŸ˜‰ I can enjoy my Rob porn undisturbed 47 weeks a year!
      And yes, my brother is single. Go right ahead!

  28. My mom thinks he’s attractive and fully pretends not to. She won’t admit it, but I saw her trying to discreetly read my Rob VF in the car one day.

    I think my favorite family moment though was when my 4 year old cousin was looking through some of the pictures on my blackberry and came across a couple shirtless ones of Rob and Taylor. She asked me why I “like to look at naked boys.”
    She eventually ended up telling me that Taylor might be her “prince.” It was too cute for words.

    • We have something in common Jess. I like to look at naked boys too! (Just Rob tho, not Taylor).

      • Haha, I guess we do. I had to clarify for her that they were not fully naked. The last thing I needed was her running up to the Thanksgiving dinner table telling the entire family that I have “naked boys” on my phone.
        I’m with your 19 yo though (perhaps it’s something about this age group?). I can’t decide between Rob and Taylor. It alternates depending on my mood.

        • Jess, that’s what my daughter says too. She’s got Team Edward and Team Jacob t-shirts and panties that she wears depending on her mood. I can always tell who she likes on any given day. I try to sway her Rob’s way tho…

  29. My family knows better than to mess with me. The only one that usually dares to is my brother, but he can’t say shit because his wife is as far gone as I am.

  30. My husband always teases me about licking my phone and computer screen because Rob is of course my wallpaper. I just say ‘yeah, so’ LOL

    I sent my mom some Rob eye candy to her office email and she sent it to all of her co-workers. So ay Christmas she told thank you from everyone in her office!!

    I miss Rob Too….

  31. BTW, Bianca. I LOVE your family stories, re: Rob. Thanks for sharing!!!

    • Thanks! πŸ˜‰

  32. my soon to be EX husband calls him “that emo hipster english asshole” but then my ex is an idiot anyway.. my mother does things like leaving rob calendars on my steps that I find when I get home from work… and my four year old daughter actually picked me out a “edward” magazine for christmas… every time she sees him in something (like harry potter, which she loves, or a magazine at the store..) she will grab me and go “Calm down mom! there’s edward”… it’s adorable… hehe

    • Aww… your daughter sounds so cute!

      • I will add… the child loves twilight as much as me.. I took her to see New Moon in the theater, and although she is only 4.. she paid attention to the entire thing.. and even shushed my husband for talking… “dad be quiet I can’t hear jacob!!!!” it was hilarious

  33. My mom said if i date anyone in Hollywood (because of course i have my fair share of options) to date him.

    Says my mom: look at him. LOOK AT HIM! ARE YOU LOOKING AT HIM?!?

    Of course I’m looking. I’m drooling in fact.

    “Well, you’re not drooling enough. Keep looking at him.”

    I wish this was punishment when I was younger, but then it wouldn’t be punishment would it?

    • Your mom is cool! πŸ™‚

  34. I love the second part of the letter, serious LOL’s

  35. I think my DH suspects, but he doesn’t say anything. He’s a bit more concerned with my ff obsession that keeps me up too late.
    I’ve tried to camouflage my Robsession by making sure my computer Webshots wallpaper & screen savers are mostly Twilight/New Moon, rather than just Rob, but that failed royally early on. I HAD to add photo shoots, stills and set pics from Rob’s other films!
    I have had the pleasure of seeing Sam & Bobby perform, so I can get away with photos of all of the Brit pack now, too.
    My kids know, & their friends know. One of my DD’s bffs was over the other night & told me she saw a poster of Rob at the mall & thought of me. My son & his bff were going to bring me the NM chocolates, but forgot to go back by that store when they headed home. My enablers!
    My sister knows I love the saga – I took her & my nephew to see Twilight – but I haven’t told her a thing about Rob. She really would think I was pitiful!

  36. […] What my family thinks of Robert Pattinson Today we share part 2 of the “How my mother became aware of Rob’s hottness” fan letter! Dear […] […]

  37. My mom says she can’t conceive of him as sexy because he’s just too young (she’s in her 70’s). But over Christmas I was using my laptop to play CDs, and my Rob slideshow screen saver came up.

    She sat and watched pic after pic after pic, saying, “I like that one” and “Ooh – that’s a good one” and “Oh, it’s like he’s waiting in bed for you” etc.

    When I called her on it and told her I’d roped her into thinking he was hot, she claimed that she couldn’t just ignore the pictures when they came up. Yeah, EXACTLY!

    • LMFAO…. I don’t know your mom, but the thought of a lady in her 70’s saying β€œOh, it’s like he’s waiting in bed for you” about Rob TOTALLY makes my day πŸ˜€ hehehe


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