Posted by: Bekah | January 12, 2010

Rob Pattinson: Beyond the Twilight Saga

You know when you go away for a work conference and you sit in boring meetings all day and then at 5:15pm they give out awards but you’re busy texting friends to get through the boredom then suddenly everyone is clapping because you won an award and you missed it because you were texting friends and you were like “Wtf!? How did I win an award? I blogged about vampires all year!” But you walk on the stage anyway, accidentally bringing your phone with that’s currently buzzing with text replies and you try to laugh it off when the VP of marketing says “I saw you texting instead of paying attention” then you go to cocktail hour to celebrate and then afterwards @janetrigs picks you up to take you out for more drinks and by the time you get home it’s 12:30 am and you’re many drinks in and have just NOTHING to write to Rob? Yeah… this is one of those days…Thank GOD for all of you who write amazing letters….. enjoy this one from “The Old One.” She just saved my ass 🙂

Dear Rob (can I call you Rob? I feel I know you so well),

We’ve long passed that feeding frenzy that lead up to the New Moon premiere, and I’m starting to feel a vibe from you and the rest of the cast—enough already–and there’s still two (maybe three?) films to go in the “franchise,” as you call it. It’s got to be getting so old. Let’s pull out (!) for a longer shot and look at what I personally am getting really excited about, and I’m sure you are too: your future in films! Enough of the PG-13 teen heartthrob angst! Let’s get to the juicy stuff- the MATURE audience stuff. I can’t wait! You’ve got this on the horizon (from via Robsessed): “Bel Ami, the film of Guy De Maupassant’s erotically charged story of ambition, power and seduction. . . about a young man’s rise to the top of Parisian high society in the 1890s, via the beds of the city’s most glamorous and influential women. . . . In a world where politics and media jostle for influence, where sex is power and celebrity an obsession, the film has, say the producers, a contemporary relevance which should resonate with audiences worldwide.” I’ll say. That’s resonating with me, right here. Swoon.

And then you have your other upcoming film, Unbound Captives, where you’re going to learn Comanche and ride bareback (!) For God’s sake, Rob, I don’t think I can take it. You’re going to give the Wolfpack a run for their Native American money. You’ll have to grow your hair way out or get extensions (we know how you feel about those, and remember those photoshopped pictures Moon and UC did a while back?) Will you have to wear a loincloth and dash around with buffalo? That’s so manly, OMG. Will you try to get a tan? That’s Oscar material right there!!

You’ve said you want to keep yourself so busy working on the sets of these various projects for a year or two that hopefully the furor will have died down a bit and you can have a real life again. Well I for one want you to keep on working until you get your wish and your hair recedes like Jack Nicholson’s. Then you can get your Lifetime Achievement Award in Best Hair.

No really, I have all kinds of ideas for the “vehicles” that would let your light shine. How about playing a pouty, sexy 60’s rock star that’s chased by screaming groupies, a la Mick Jagger? You’ve got the musical chops AND the pout. And there would be a LOT of sex and drugs and rock and roll. Or you could totally be the next James Bond- The remake of “Octopussy”! You could wear the same suit and bowtie you wore to the Oscars. Let’s see… how about Suburban Dog Millionaire, the story of a lowly teen model from the shabby outskirts of London whose karma leads him to fortune and to get back the mullet-haired love of his youth? It is written! Okay, I’d better stop, but I’m sure others can come up with more ideas.

With eyes on the future and much affection,

The Old One

What do you think Rob should do next? What are you hopes for him outside of the Twilight saga?

Wondering why I chose to post all pics of Drunk Rob today? Well, get to know @janetrigs and you’ll know why. XOXO thanks for showing me around DC girl!!!!

Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum, LTT, Twitter



  1. “And then you have your other upcoming film, Unbound Captives, where you’re going to learn Comanche and ride bareback (!) For God’s sake, Rob, I don’t think I can take it.”

    OMG either can I….but don’t stop! lol

    “Then you can get your Lifetime Achievement Award in Best Hair.” WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lmao

    Great letter BTW and I love drunk Rob pics on a boring Tuesday morning…yum

    • I know-I love that pic of Rob -it’s one of my faves. The way his eyebrows are drawn together and that slight smirk-gaah. I agree with janetrigs-drunk Rob rules.

      • Drunk Rob is the BEST ROB!!

  2. Dear Rob,
    I have a confession to make. I’m not really looking forward to Eclipse that much. Don’t get me wrong, I love Edward. I love you playing Edward. I couldn’t imagine anyone else in that role.
    But Edward is a 108 year old virgin. The most action we might get in that movie is a short-lived semi make out scene that doesn’t even involve any tongue action because you might kill Bella. That’s kinda boring. That wolf kid is going to get more action than you in the next movie.

    I’m really looking forward to Remember Me, where you will get to use what God gave you in (what look to be) some hot sexy scenes. We will finally get some good Rob material to use in our fantasies!

    So keep up the good work on choosing sexy roles. (When will Bel Ami be released?) And we will be watching you closely in Unbound Captives. Please, please wear a loin cloth! We’re all hoping for a little peek-a-boo action.

    • Ya the movies are even more of a cockblock than the books… aye!

    • Amen. I couldn’t have said it better myself!

    • seriously REMEMBER. ME. girls. REMEMBER. ME. WOWoooooooooooooowwwwowweeeeewow.

      also your idea of a 60s rock icon,the old one? i would DIE. just DIE.

      • Stop taunting us with your early viewing of Remember Me! 🙂 I’m still not over your cockblocking us with virtually NO details of Rob’s sex scenes!!!

    • Rob…..sexscenes….*THUD*…….Rob as a man whore in Bel Ami……I.AM.DIED…When I pick myself off the floor I will be impatiently waiting for these movies!!

  3. Congrats UC on winning an award you weren’t even expecting!

    • right! UC, congrats from me too!

  4. Drunk Rob is hottest Rob!!

    • I second that.

    • 3rd-ed

  5. ROB should stop making PG13 movies and just move on to do movies that showcase all his atributes , and we know how plentiful they are, there’s not such thing as saturating the market. Not in my world (or my market) LOL

  6. What Rob should to after all his next movies? I know you’re all thinking it, and imma just say it. Porn, Rob. Make porn. Please. We’ll all buy it (let’s be honest) and hide it under our matresses. Don’t even try to deny it.

    • she went there

    • Real Robporn instead of the fake Robporn I have hidden throughout my house? Squeee! Although, I’m not sure how I would feel about Porn Rob. Would he go all Ron Jeremy on us with a nasty moustache and gold chains? I don’t think I could handle that Rob. Maybe he would wax his entire body. I don’t think I could handle that Rob either! No treasure trail to look at? No ridic hairy arms that for some reason used to gross me out and now turn me on? No, Rob, my advice is this. If you are considering the avenue of pornography, please don’t go the ‘professional and tasteful’ route. Instead, just grab one of those new iflip cameras and record whatever it is you do in your hotel room every night. Whether it’s adding to the HP box fort, playing guitar with the guys and some Heines, or actually fu*king the Stew, I will consider it all porn. And I will watch it on the daily.

      • real LTR style Robporn. I want it!

      • How could you even think of comparing Rob to Ron Jeremy woman? You’re a lunatic!

        PS – if RL Robporn is him ALONE in his hotel room doing, well, you know what, would you still watch it?

        • Oh, yes, absolutelyvic, oh yes.

          • I’ll make the popcorn and mojitos. 🙂

          • If he makes it, they will come (TWSS).

        • Of course of course I would still watch it. It would actually be better…if he was alone. Since he’s not with me.
          And the Ron Jeremy comparison was a frightening early morning thought that made me need brain bleach. Just thought I would share it so the rest of you had the godawful mental image as well. Cheers! 😉

    • Make that a movie adaptation of fanfics instead of actual porn and I’ll back that motion! (twss)

      • We should take a poll on which fanfic (or fanfics) we’d like to Rob to make!

      • Alice-best idea ever-I’ve often thought that about fics I really love.

        -University of Edward Masen-Sexy prof Rob in a bowtie!!
        -The Dominant (gulp)
        -Art After 5-make this one first, Rob, since you’re 17 in it.
        -Art School Confidential-nude model Rob!
        -Let Your Light Shine-The honeymoon the way it should have been
        -The Naked Guy Upsatirs-Hot gyno Rob gives sex lessons to innocent virgin neighbor (played by me).

        And so many more! Yes, this is def the way to go..

        • There’s a lot to choose from, isn’t there? I think all our imaginations have been very active in this area and I think that most of us have no problem with visualizing Rob in any of these role, but a hard copy (so to speak!) would be the best.

        • “Sexy prof Rob in a bowtie” -> idd Harrison Ford’s Dr. Jones is getting a bit old, we need fresh academic hotness!

          Don’t forget the romantical comedy ‘Wallbanger’ and ‘The Office’! LaPerla needs a salesboost.

          • oh god yes, The Office.

          • oh yes, the office would be delightful on screen. Tu es faite pour moi Robert Pattinson.

      • Ooooh, brill! Let’s throw in a movie version of Wide Awake for good measure too. Think of all the great video mashups we could make of Rob saying ‘fuck’ in every possible way. Sigh…

        • not to mention the shower scenes where he “takes care” of himself. I could maybe tolerate watchin summa that 🙂

    • Always an option if Rob’s career tanks. And I wouldn’t think twice about buying it.

    • ermmm.. Robert Pattinson’s OCTOPUSSY.. is that the film where he effs 8 pussies??

  7. I have to say.. I am looking forward to any movie where we get Rob-fantasy fodder.

    Drunk Rob is one of my favs.. makes you just want to drag him up to a hotel room and take advantage.. err.. comfort him. Over and over.


    • Drunk ROb is the only True Rob in my eyes.

  8. I too look forward to the day when Rob gets to act like a “man” on film.

    Frankly, I think he should come down south with all us “Dixie-chicks” for awhile and learn how to eat some real food so he can gain some real muscle for some of these upcoming roles…LOL!

    And while I would never “expect” him to gain 30 pounds of muscle… adding at least 15 would look great on his physique. He has a lean appearance already… but can you picture lean and “ripped”? Of course, he might have to cut back on the ciggies and beer… but oh, the benefits… for everyone!

    • Blasphemy woman! The best Rob is the Rob that admits he’s a little soft around the edges and enjoys his nights out with the Brit Pack instead of stuck in the gym! 🙂

      • I most definitely prefer that type of man. That is totes why I heart Rob so much.

        • Absolutely-I’ve never gone for guys with too much muscle. Get your workouts with me, not at the gym 😉 .

          • I like lanky guys myself.. muscle doesnt do anything for me.. I have to say.. like Rob just as he is.. meow

      • YES! END!

    • A smoking, drinking Rob is my favorite kinda Rob!

      • Yeah, that’s my favorite kinda Rob too! He just makes it look so damn sexy…

  9. I cant wait until hes released from the Twi-Films and can work his skills in other movies.
    I’m look forward to RM in March.

    Loincloth……….nice visual

  10. UC – your work story made me laugh!

    I skipped a large division wide meeting where I was presented an award because it was at 9 AM on NOVEMBER 20th, and lets just say there was no way I was getting up that early! Seeing New Moon at midnight or work recognition? Hmm…no contest. That’s normal, right? 🙂

    PS – Thanks for the drunk Rob pictures…what a great way to start my morning.

    • Love the avatar – is that Rob in a box of chocolates? Awesome.

      • Thanks! Yes it is. Rob & Chocolate….mmmm….

  11. Fine letter today, thanks to The old done!

    Dear Rob

    I’m sure I will LOVE “Remember me”…just because you will NOT have any make up!
    For now it’s enough for me and surely you will win an award, perhaps just invented for you like…”best-hair-eva-award” or so…
    Please don’t do any spiderman, batman, superman or some remake of Benjamin Button….!
    Never ever!

    P.S. get drunk……. looks HOT!

    • LOL P.S. get drunk…….. looks HOT!
      I ❤ you. My sentiments exactly!
      However Drunk Rob's eyefu*king is a little more leery creeptastic than Oscar Rob's eyefu*king. Just sayin'.

      • I’d take a creeptastic Rob leering at me anyday!

    • Thanks, I agree, no Batman-type stuff.

    • I agree, no batman, superman….no superhero stuff. 😉 I’d like to see him do a thriller or horror movie though. Srsly all he would need to do is look hot and he’s already doing it most of the time.

  12. Great story. So what did you boss tell after he caught ya. That must have been fun. You gotta love it though.

    • Bobbygee, I have to say I look for your comment every day because your avatar looks like a little monster in a bikini. It makes me giggle. A lot. Today I realized said “bikini” might actually be the monster’s big mouth. Now it just looks weird. And wrong.
      I’m an idiot.

      • I also looks like Bella’s womb.

        • OMG I just snorted. Bella’s womb! After Edward has bitten Renesmee out of it. Sick. I hope that is one BD scene they actually do ‘cockblock’ us from seeing!

          • No way! I want to see alllllll of what StephMeyer descibes. The blood vomit volcano, the ripping open her womb – ALL OF IT!

            Maybe Wes Craven could direct BD. Just sayin’.

          • I would much rather see the scens from Isle Esme, Then any of the birthing scenes YUCK what was she thinking. Why oh Why did you cockblock us Stephenie you married them for christ sakes!!

  13. HAHA! Loves it!

    Here is my movie pitch…Rob will play a “repair man”, donning a heavy tool belt that will *tug* at his skinny boy jeans. I will be the damsel in distress who needs her “pipes” fixed. He’ll be working under the kitchen sink, and whoopsies!! a pipe bursts getting Roberto and his flannel all wet. He slowly takes off the flannel, and then he looks at me with a twinkle in his eye, asking me if I could help him with his big, heavy, wrench. And then….

    BWHAHAHAHA!!! I’m sorry! I couldn’t resist! 😉

    • Imma add that vote to the porn box.

      • I would fully support the Rob Porn Movement (the RPM if you will), but only if I can be his co-star. 😉

  14. I’m looking forward to Unbound Captives moreso than Bel Ami–purely because Rob will surely be mostly naked, and probably tan.

    If he can make me pant with his pasty whiteness, then I know a tanned Rob might make me break some laws. Maybe he’ll get a scene with his Native American wife and there is lots of tongue and wild animal sex. Who knows?

    Reading over this I realize that I have most likely broken from reality, because no one in my RL would believe it was me saying these things.

    • thumbs up. welcome to insanity.

  15. I am so excited for Bel Ami I can’t even handle it.

    • Ordinarily a Western wouldn’t interest me , but shirtless Rob will.

  16. OMG you ladies are horrible, truly. I know better than to check this site when the big corporate man is in, but I can’t stop myself. My mistake, “loincloth” was my undoing and I spit water all over my phone and computer screen.. luckily english is not his second or even third language and he bought that said cloth would need to be used to clean my keyboard.. whew, crisis averted..

    • But just think, he could play Joseph in Joseph & his Technicolour Dreamcoat….loincoth heaven right there 🙂

  17. 3 words:

    James. F*cking. Bond.

    • shaken not stirred, just the way I like my men 😉

    • Is that a gun there Agent 007 Rob or are you just pleased to see me?!

    • i have to go change my underwear after that image 🙂

    • dont tease us like that alice… sadly james bond is supposed to be smooth and debonair… i can only see rob dropping the gun and not being able to drive james bonds HOT ASS car.

      • who cares about dropping his gun, we wanna see him drop his pants (which is fortunately a common behavior of Bond!).

    • Ooooooh … I don’t know…
      James Bond in a plaid Smoking? Might work…

  18. “Then you can get your Lifetime Achievement Award in Best Hair.”

    Ha! I love it.

    Ladies, have any of you watched Haunted Airman yet? Yes, I’m just getting around to it. It’s been on my Netflix que, but I kept knocking it down so I could watch Mystery Science Theater episodes instead. …It’s classic!

    I’m only halfway through, but good lord, that boy is stunning in this movie. And he seems to be a good actor. No. A GOOD actor! I was expecting a cringe-fest, given the “Hold on tight, spidermonkey” material we’ve seen in the past, but I have been pleasantly surprised. And he’s fuckhawt. A little femmy (or British… whatever), but definitely sexy in that wheelchair. Is that wrong?

    My whole point was that I’m very excited to see him play a non-Edward role. End rant!

    • “A little femmy (or British… whatever)”

      Katie S, that was brills!

    • i did see it, and I couldnt believe how GOOD HE WAS!! I had the same thought! He’s young, but SEXXX-Y as hell!! HOLY CIGARETTES! The whole movie is a close up of his succulent face with those ciggi’s hangin’ out of that mind blowing mouth (did i just blowing and mouth in the same sentance while talking about rob?- schwing!!). I’m the one who wrote the letter about not banning smoking because Rob’s so SMOKIN’-so you know how i feel about ciggi-rob! This film was ciggi heaven…talk about MAJOR JAW PORN!! Not to mention his AMAZING eyes!!! Okay, i have to go change my undies for the 2nd time already this morning 🙂 wait, now i just had a visual of Rob in Bel-Ami…make it a 3rd time

      • WORD!
        He was YOUNG, HOT and All the rest you said…lol

    • The smoking and hand porn in general in The Haunted Airman is ridiculous.

    • Haunted Airman is one of my fave Rob films (right after HTB and BMHB). He was dark, slightly creepy and oh so handsome. He was believable in the role and I liked the darker theme. I only wish he did more movies like this one. Hopefully he’ll have a few horror/thriller-type movies in future.

      • I’m going to watch the end of it tonight. Just me and wheelchair-smokin-jawporn-handporn-eyeporn-Rob. Mmmmmmm…

        • The end is the best! Add Lip porn!

  19. Great letter, Old One! Thanks 🙂 Love the thought of a pouty ’60s rock star…..SEX, DRUGS AND ROCK & ROLL!!!!!! Can ya dig it? Yes, yes I can.

    • Glad you liked it, and it got your imagination going!

  20. Old One, you’ve made my day! But all I could think of when I read “Octopussy” was the Octomom! Ha! She should take lessons on “pulling out”.
    The “Belle Ami” script I can totally see Rob in, but a good case of cowboys and indians? Not so much.

    • It made my day, too, to see my words in print. I think I may have to take the rest of the day off. But reconsider the cowboys and Indians, swansong–not a lot of clothes on the Native Americans, or on Rob, as an honorary Native American, who cares about the rest of the plot or anything!

      • Hi, hi, hi!
        “…not a lot of clothes on the Native Americans,…” at least he should alredy be used to that…

  21. I want to see Rob in something a little more mature, ie, something where he is naked for a good portion of it.I don’t really care about the subject matter (just not a sports movie,k?) and I’d also like some cursing.
    You said you’d consider full frontal, Rob-now put your money where your mouth is!

    Oh and a gay theme is cool with me too.

    • I agree with you Dazzle, a mostly naked, cursing bad boy Rob is what I’d love to see! Yeah, Bad Boy Rob would be too HAWT for words!

      And full frontal nudity… G*d help me…

    • When did he say that? O.M.G. He’s such a tease.

      • Twimilf, I don’t remember exactly which interview but when asked if he’d consider full frontal nudity he said yeah, he would but it would shatter the illusion women have of him. Something like that…

        I don’t think so!!

        • Silly boy…there is no illusion going on with him. He is pure sexiness.

          • Have you guys not looked at the scenes from Little Ashes? He is making out with another guy. And I do mean full on tongue kissing and caressing!!! It also has a pick of Rob naked with his d**k tucked between his legs giving that feminine look. Must see!!!

    • this is why i’m so excited to see Bel Ami baby!! Mature sexxy Rob seducing woman…sleeping his way to the top [on top, underneath, from behind, against the wall :)] We’ll also get to see some major eye-f*cking going on as well. Okay, I think I’m up to the 5th undies changing so far this morning :).
      Has anyone read the book? I’ve started it, and I CANT WAIT for this movie!

      • Usualnurse~
        I’m reading Bel Ami right now and Rob will be perfect for the role of seducer.

        • hell yeah!! makes my eyes water just thinking about him 🙂

        • I ordered Bel Ami- it’s in the mail! We’ll break it down when we’re both done with it, k?

    • I secretly hope for a leaked Rob sex tape… one that you could super impose your head into like those videos over at JibJab… I often sit around and ponder exactly how much I would pay for a Rob sex tape…. its usually about half a months pay

    • My brain, and perhaps other parts of my anatomy, exploded when reading a sentence about full-frontal Rob nudity, and “put your money where your mouth is.”

      • I understand your confusion-you must have been thinking about Rob putting his mouth somewhere, not his money. Perfectly understandable, happens to me all the time.

  22. I want them to do a remake of “The Money Pit” and I want Rob to do the lead role. It’s one of my all time favorite movies.

    Ok, that was totally random, but yeah….that’s what I want him to do.

    • Are you kidding me?!?!? I love that movie!! My husband and I quote that movie all of the time.

      “He just thought that you were good looking wool.”

      We are moving into a new apt. in Chicago, and we noticed that the heat wasn’t working that great. The first thing my man said was, that I wasn’t going to have to sleep with the maintenance guy, just maybe dinner and a little dancing.

      With Rob’s comedic timing, I think that he was be great is Tom Hank’s character, but he would also be perfect as Maestro. “Let’s talk about love and sex. No, let’s just talk about sex.” LOL

  23. Do you think Rob would do a remake of Mr. Bean? Would you see it? I would.

    • Only Mr. Bean can be Mr. Bean, so that would be weird. But on the other hand, why not a film where Rob can play up his silly sniggering awkward side, and make slapstick comedy with his awkward walk and flippy hands? It would still be totally hot!

      • Monty Python or Benny Hill style Rob? YES!

      • Pink Panther Rob.

    • Oh gosh no! 🙂 I like Mr. Bean and I agree w/ the Old one that Mr. Bean is Mr. Bean. I love Rob too and I’m sure he can come up w/ his own antics. He seems really good at making us laugh already anyway!

  24. how about a remake of pretty woman? with a little piano action going on?

    • Maybe with the roles reversed… Rob could be the prostitute?

      • Can’t believe I said that…

        • Can’t believe I have second that!

      • LMFAO!!!

      • I think he could probably rock the blue and white hooker outfit!

        • Totally! I’d pay to see him try to walk in those boots 😉

          • …Or in a bubble bath!!!

    • how about a remake of 9 1/2 Weeks to banish thoughts of Mickey Rourke from your brain? I’d crawl on the floor for Rob.

      • OMG. You just blew my mind. I’d test out the mattress without any hesitation.

    • They can call it “Pretty Man”. So appropriate!

  25. Right now I am just happy to see Rob on RM and we’ll see about the other stuff. But I agree that -as much as I love Robward- I am really really excited to see him doing other movies aswell.

  26. rob as bond …. i can’t picture it yet, but maybe in 12-15 years … we’ll have to wait and see, hehe!

  27. Am I alone in wanting him to play a super sexy villian? Dare I say it, a killer even?
    He needs a role that will allow those eyes to run rampant with all of the lust he only hints at in the “Saga”.
    I want to see him in a no holds bar role where he takes what and whomever he wants. No questions, no apologies!!!
    Plus, lots of skin and finger action.

    • I was seriously trying to find a Rob pic yesterday where I could zoom in on just his fingers for my avatar. I’ll keep looking but I’m picky. For now I will stick with FrustratedRob with fingers AND hair. It’s a win-win just like your av too!

      • your avatar photo This may sound dumb, but his PINKY RING in that photo BLOWS MY MIND. I dont know what it is about him and that damn pinky ring, but holy hotness. From that same photo shoot, there’s the black and whites with him in the dressing room mirror…more pinky ring porn. If your looking for handporn, you could simply zoom in on that same photo and i’d be d.e.a.d.

        • I know!! Who woud’ve thought that a F*cking pinky ring would drive my lust factor up to “11”?

          I also love the b&w photo of him leaning back on the table and the one with the double mirror shot. Jawporn, fingerporn and pinky ring. It’s the trifecta!

          • Ooops, forgot the l. Would’ve. Got a little excited.

          • I know!! WTF is it?? Trifecta!!! Triporn!! Agree about the lust factor!! I’ve since started searching for a pinky ring for my husband to wear 🙂 My husband said “I’m not wearing a pinky ring, i’m not gay!!”. I said to him “Lenny Kravitz wears one!” It would NOT have gone over well if i would have said “Robert Pattionson wore one”.

          • Well any ornament that Rob uses becomes an icon or symbol for hotness. It could be a pinky ring or watch. I once saw this pic of him where he had his arms up or something and I thought he was wearing a watch but I couldn’t be for sure. I looked at that pic for a very loooooooong time! It was so addicting.

            Rob stop messing with my head please.

        • Thanks. I keep thinking I should update the ol’ avi but why mess with perfection.

        • I like that you brought up Lenny Kravitz, UsualNurse. Good strategy, always.

          • Thanks Mountainlion…you cant get much cooler that lenny kravitz…which is basically what my husbands’ reply was… “Well he’s LENNY KRAVITZ! He can pull anything off! I cant!” I’m gonna keep workin’ on him till I turn my husband into my little personal boytoy.

    • No.. you’re not alone. I wanna see that too. He’s so limited in the “Saga”.

    • SOOOO true! I know American Psycho was, well, psycho, but Christian Bale as Patrick Bateman was a great casting choice (read: he looks GREAT in a suit and was creepily seductive). I recently made my bestie a Rob-Calendar with a caption saying: “Watch a Costume Drama and Imagine Rob As the Villain Day! Rob as Willoughby or Rob as Wickham… Yes, please!”

      Villains are also known for smoking and drinking heavily… Any excuse to watch Rob smoke or drink is fine by me!

      • Rob would have been a PERFECT Willoughby. Because he’s not completely villianous…but oh, I picture him as every lead in any book I read.

        • Younger than Uma.. LMAO!

      • Oooh, they also have lot and lots of sex!!!!!

  28. Dear Rob,
    I would love to see you play this role:
    Scruffy hobolicious guy in mid-20s stumbles through life with misbuttoned flannels and patched up pants. Gives responses in press interviews like “What?” and “Umm, I dunno” and never seems to get why people like him. Has an adorably obnoxious laugh and turns women on all over the world just by walking down the street.

    Errr, wait. I think I have blurred Hollywood with reality. What was I saying? Oh right, Rob, I adore your acting, singing, playing, etc. but really all you have to do for me to love you is be you. Cuz I like it.

    • He’s already starring in that role and winning praise and adulation from all of us! Its award winning material!

  29. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I’m a terrible fangirl. This is the first I’m hearing about this Unbound Captives business. Am I the only one who is worried about that being a disaster? I can’t picture him doing that…

    • Yes, you are the only one. 🙂

      • You’re probably right… You’re always right. Peeta, Alex, purity rings… When will I learn to stop questioning? If the almighty Janetrigs approves, then it’s good enough for me.

        Now let’s go do shots.

        • WORD! After you.

    • I’m a little fearful of Unbound Captives as well, but if he has to grow his hair out and he looks even remotely as hot as Brad Pitt did in Legends of the Fall with the long hair, I’m there. I can just block out all the other bad stuff, like him riding a horse – which probably won’t be him anyway. It will be a stunt double, he is much too uncoordinated to ride a horse and look natural.

      • It’s the hair and horse business that is throwing me off. I just have this awful mental image of him clinging to the back of a horse for dear life with a greasy KStew-inspired mullet. Why do I have no faith in our man? Bad fangirl, bad.

    • he’s going to be straddled on horseback with face scruff!! there’s no disaster in that! the only disaster, truly, is that it’s not me he’s straddling.

      • ” there’s no disaster in that! the only disaster, truly, is that it’s not me he’s straddling.”

        You are not alone, I totes feel the same way.

        • or that i am not straddling him! even better.

  30. As much as I’m stoked for Unbound Captives, I gotta wonder… Can Rob TAN? Or is he one of those peeps who burns, turning into a human-size lobster?

    Regardless, I’m sure his future movies will be a lot better than the Twilight series if only because he will most likely not be dating his co-star (at least I hope not!), he’ll be smoking/drinking in his role as Hot Male Lead and he won’t be ivory pale!

    And UC, any excuse to use Drunk-Rob pics is fine by me! He looks scrumptious in those pics. *drool* You are wonderful. Looking at those pics makes me giddy.

    • Oh, forgot to add, I would LOVE, LOVE, LOOOVE Rob in a costume drama. Rob as Mr Darcy would be magic. But Rob as Edward Rochester would be even better…

      • watch pride and prejudice just last night and had the SAME thought!!

    • hahaha…I like your tecnical question…

      “Can he TAN?”

      and now?
      orange make-up or CGI-Rob

      • I wouldn’t want to see him with one of those fake orange tans that so many in Hollywood (and elsewhere) have- they’re so obviously fake and unnaturally creepy looking. Pale is okay with me!

        • Oh pls no fake tans…NO!

      • Heard him say he “burns.” I’ll 2nd that…

        • No sunburns for Rob! His skin is too nice to mess it up with UV rays. But other types of burning, well, those are evident and necessary!

    • See first Vanity Fair pix (with KS and the gang) for whether or not Rob can tan. He looked pretty yummy with a slight tan in those photos.

      • yes he looked yummy, but I think that WAS actually a bit orange make-up….or good light…???

      • i thought he looked yummy and tan there too. although he was pink when he was in Cannes. Maybe he’s like a lot of people who get burned on their first “tanning” on the season, then get brown after that. Either way he looks good. It’ll just be nice to see him with ANY color, and no red lipstick!

        • The make-up doesn’t bother me so much but I definitely prefer his Twilight look over New Moon. Most guys look incredibly hideous when they “manscape” but GAWD Rob looked sexy with groomed brows.

        • Definitely no lipstick please. I think he already has nice kissable lips as is.

    • WORD Drunk ROb RULES

  31. mountainlion, where are you???? I’m dying to hear your thoughts on Rob’s next moves. Acting moves, that is…
    BTW, I don’t see nothin’ wrooonng… 😉

    • haha..yeah we need lion
      I guess she’s writing her own Rob-skript!
      SS thx for making me hear HIS voice with the quote!

    • How about Rob in the Mickey Rourke role of “9 1/2 Weeks?” I see blindfolds, table sex, strip teases…do I need to go on? Because I wanna go on…

      • hahaha I see we had the same thought!

        • d2d, that’s funny. I’ll look for your comment now!

      • Now that’s what I’m talkin bout!

  32. Congrats, UC, on your award!!

    I love this letter! Can’t wait for Bel Ami, and his ensuing affair with Uma on set!

    Janetrigs needs to kick my ass because when I read “let your light shine” I immediately thought of fan fiction.

    Oh, and I’m happy to report that I figured out how to get Robward saying, “you are my life now” as my iphone ringtone. Hale yes!

    • genius you are… jealous!

    • TLG, Please tell me how you get that ringtone on my phone. I NEED THAT!

    • I now hate you officially!

      • Awwww, don’t hate me, Janetrigs! Just help me. Start a FanFic Rehab or something. You’d make a sh$tload of money.

        • Okay, good idea!

    • Are you for real? How~!?????I want it too!!!!

    • Once you figured it out it’s kind of fun though, isn’t it?
      I just did, too.
      Now my phone screams “WHHHAAAT” everytime someone calls. It’s hillarious!!!

  33. Personally, I would like more movies where he is actually British. His American accent isn’t AWFUL, but his british accent is SO MUCH BETTER!!!!!

    • His real accent is soooo attractive! A whole movie in which he speaks like himself? I wouldn’t care at all what is was about, just so long as he didn’t stop speaking.

      Though it would be good to hear him say ‘moist’ a lot! I loved when he said ‘shirt (misbuttoning) on the Jimmy Kimmel show- I nearly slid off the couch for that one.

      Of course, him speaking like himself paired with hot visuals- nothing better!

      • I liked hearing him say “candy” and “sidewalk” on Letterman. He doesn’t even need to say anything suggestive.

        • Everything he says is suggestive, whether he means it or realizes it or not!

          • Truth!

        • Love his british accent too. My favorite was on a radio interview when asked about women wanting him to bite them…

          I cahn’t bite you, it will huhht (hurt)…

          • LOL. My first thought after typing this was..

            “But Rob, I want it to hurt! Hurt me Baby!”

            I’ve really lost it now for sure!

          • I’ve lost it too. It’s normal! Right?

            I’ve always had a major weakness for British Isle accents and Rob’s natural accent hits the right frequency for me (if you know what I mean). Something like the Jaime Lee Curtis character responding to the Kevin Kline character speaking in ‘Italianese’ in A Fish called Wanda just about describes my response to Rob’s voice!

          • We need Minuit here.

            Isn’t “fais moi mal,” French for “Do me bad?”

            That says it all for me.

    • I second this!

    • Do you think his accent in Bel Ami will be British? They couldn’t possibly ask him to speak English with a French accent, will they? I might be 2nd hand embarrassed for him.

      • They wouldn’t dare or would they? Brit accent all the way!!!

      • Haven’t seen Little Ashes yet (it’s coming from Amazon in just a week or two! yay!), but didn’t they have them speak English with Spanish accents in that? A little bit odd. I don’t see why that’s necessary.

        • He is speaking english…to my german ears…lol
          I will say nothing else!

    • I love his British accent. It makes me forget everything else. Everything just fades into oblivion.

    • yeah.. English accents in general make me swoon.. I have this guy friend in London.. and I love to just sit and listen to him talk.. I told him he needs to just come hang out in the states cause american girls are suckers fot brit accents.. he could get any girl he wanted.. he has that thick cockney accent though

      I love Rob’s even more though.. it makes me all dizzy to hear him talk sometimes… I am a sucker..

    • Yes, more British accent please!
      In similar roles that Hugh Grant used to play (now he’s thinking of retirement and being a writer instead of a movie star): romantic comedies where he’s awkward and nervous (and sometimes a dick), similar to HTB or BMHB, but with much better wardrobe and him discovering he’s actually hot and loveable …. and a lot of lovemaking (=nekkid Rob) at the end.

  34. Old One,
    I ❤ you! Thanks for a great letter.

    • I ❤ you, too, mountainlion! thanks!

    • Hey, I thought I responded already but it didn’t show up. If it does, then I guess I ❤ you, too, twice! Thanks!

  35. I heard Rob say he wants to do the Job (from the bible) biopic. Rob, unless Job get’s laid, please don’t.

    • Unless Job gets laid, please don’t.

      mountainlion, I love you girl! Hilar!

    • hilar! love me some laid Rob!

    • Job did get laid(sorry Lord), remember he has lots of sons and daughters!!!!

      • “sorry Lord?” I think it’s a little late for that SB….

        Please don’t kill me. YOu know I ❤ you.

        • Ha! Nah, you’re too valuable for me to dispose of right now! LOL. Just kidding.(on the tone and the joke). Pfft. You know I ❤ you too! Srsly our hubbies should be buddies too.

  36. What’s about quitting acting for a while…. for SINGING/making music again and doing some life-acts ?

    • What “life-acts” did you have in mind, Robgirl. Please be specific…

      Do you want him to go to University?

      • hahaha…damn girl I’m busted again with bad english!!! gahhhh

        • Oh “live.” Yes, that would be so amazing.

        • what sort of “live” acts are we talking about here? 😉

    • I want him to make an album…I don’t care what’s in it, I’ll buy it :-).

  37. Wonder what Rob would think if he read some of this?

    • rosy cheeks
      smiling and looking down,
      looking up doing f*ck-me-eyes,
      smiling again….saying ohhhhhh….gooood…..jesus….I had no idea….
      looking down
      (not really)
      the end

      • Robgirl, yeah I think that’s exactly how he’d react! You know him so well… LOL.

        • haha…it’s not the knowing…it’s the loving and unfortunately…I’m NOT the only one….lol

      • awesome. truly.

        Robgirl, is that you in your avatar?

        • kinda….

          • Explain kinda…

          • my twin…lol

    • “Wonder what Rob would think if he read this”…reminds me of the post on RAoR today. Did anyone read it? I too am a complete skeptic, but it is fun to wish.
      BTW- I’m supposed to be working on my thesis and am getting NOTHING done because you crazy ladies are making me laugh so hard today. Now you all will owe me tuition reimbursement when I dont graduate.

      • I saw the Robert-comments this summer and it was really strange….but WHO knows???

    • He will probably feel flattered and embarrassed at the same time! 🙂

      • I like embarrassed Rob!

        • Me too!

        • He looks hot embarrassed. :-). He will be so embarrassed, he may even bite his lips and then run his long, agile fingers thru his beautiful sex hair.

  38. I thought I would get some work done today and wait until later to look at LTR, but of course that plan didn’t last very long, and then what do I find! I’m so thrilled you used my letter! And happy to help out a drunken sister– Congrats on your award UC! And thank you and everyone for all the kind comments. Let’s all raise our virtual glasses to Rob’s fabulous and sexy career!

  39. *Off Subject Question*

    Do any of you know if Eclipse is going to be in IMAX 3D or just IMAX enhanced? I keep hearing two different stories.

    If 3D Robward is as close as I get to the real thing then I’ll gladly take it.

    • im pretty sure its just regular old imax… to show it in 3d they would have had to shoot with special cameras and such. and im pretty sure theyre WAY too cheap to do that. sadly.

  40. Loved this letter, Old One! Good thoughts.

    Sorry UC. 😦 I still say it was the crazy old, drunk dude who spiked your drink. He was soooo sloshy. Oh, to one day see Rob in the same state. That day would be indeed, glorious.

    PS how old is Old?

    • Thank you, Jane Trigs. I’ve always admired your wise comments from afar. If you’re asking me how old the Old One is, let’s just say I was on the team that drew up the plans for the Pyramids and leave it at that . . ..

      • haha…too funny that…I don’t believe you at all….you sound like a 23y old …just sayin

      • I also don’t believe that, either. But okay…..”OldOne.” And you’re correct about my wise words: “I love Drunk Rob!” “Let’d Do This!” and “They’re NOT bears!” are very wise words indeedy. *Sarcasm* 🙂

      • You’re funny…I love your answer to me about 2 weeks ago when I asked. Do you remember? 😉

  41. I love the bog, too funny! I had an awesome dream last night about Rob. It was exciting and I woke up in a great mood. I’m planning on following the same bedtime ritual as last night in the hopes of a repeat dream. 🙂 I’m so glad there are other Robsessed people out there!

  42. I would love it if he would play a villain/bad guy for once. Maybe he could follow in Anthony Hopkins’ shoes and do a Hannibal Lecter. That way the crazies can continue asking him to bite them. I, on the other hand, would just ask him to eat me (that’s what she said).

  43. I want Rob to be Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice. He would be so perfect for that role! 🙂

    I can be Elizabeth Bennet. 😛

    And I thought he’d be a wonderful Marius in Les Miserables, if they make a movie again. And yes, I’ll be Eponine…haha! Or if he’s older, he can play Jean Valjean.

    • honi goes for the romanticlol
      that Mr.Darcy, was he sometimes nekkid??? If yes I would second that role pretty much!

      • Hmmm sorry robgirl, not really at least not on screen. But oh you would die from all the romantic dialogue and of course eye candy especially if it’s Rob. Squee!

  44. There has been some talk around the net about Rob being considered for Spiderman 4 since Tobey backed out!?? Not sure what I think bout that!?

    • I read that too, but I also read that before they even announced that Toby was out. I just can’t see Rob as Spiderman. Like at all.

      • Initially I was excited but then my excitement faded quickly when I realized I would have to see him wearing spandex and I really would prefer he wore plaid and shiteous Nikes. 🙂

  45. What about a UK version of “Wedding Crashers” starring rob and tomstu…just sayin’

    • Haha…

    • Wow that sounds very promising!!!! That will be really funny! Now which one would Rob be? Vince Vaughn or Owen Wilson’s character? 😉

  46. RPattz – Beyond Thunderdome

    I personally would love to see Rob getting down and dirty in a post-apocalyptic desert in a yellow Interceptor.

    Or just down and dirty generally, you know. I’m not fussy 😉

  47. He needs to do a movie that heterosexual men will voluntarily see. I’m thinking a stoner comedy. As much as I would like him to simply continue working his way down my fantasy checklist (may I suggest priest? Sexy naughty priest?) if he doesn’t diversify his fan base he will totally become Orlando Bloom Part II (but still hotter, obviously.)

  48. After lurking forever (hangs head in shame) I have finally found the balls to comment. I was thinking of this the other evening. Hubby and I were watching A Streetcar Named Desire (young Marlon Brando, YUMMY!) and I thought that Rob could make a really great, albeit, drunk, Stan Kowalski. Hubby thinks I’m nuts and stated that Rob was entirely too unattractive for the role. What a shit!

    P.S. You girls make me giggle entirely too much!

  49. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by LetterstoTwilight and LetterstoTwilight, Jackie. Jackie said: save […]

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