Presenting another great Fan Letter! (Update: A perfect term was used in the comments by vertigo to describe this post: Handporn– enjoy!)

Dear Rob,

(sigh…… **shaking my head**)

Robert, Robert, Robert….  What are we to do with you? You said something awhile back and it’s been bothering me ever since I read it.  I have a compelling urge to set the record straight.

Hardwick, incidentally, says you have these “long, beautiful vampire fingers.”

RP:  I think what she meant is:  I have very weird hands.  There’s a scene in the film where my character plays the piano, and I actually had to learn it myself because they couldn’t find a hand double that was convincing enough to match my weird fingers.” (March issue of Costco Connection)

What?  WHAT? Weird fingers?!  I don’t even know where to start, my man!

You absolutely, unequivocally, without a doubt have long, beautiful vampire fingers!  Ah, ah, ah…. Don’t argue with me.  I know hot, sexy fingers when I see ’em.  I would like to state – on behalf of all of us fangirls out here – that your long, sexy fingers are definitely part of your appeal.   Lest you think I’m making much ado about nothing, I offer up some photographic evidence documenting said sexy fingers.

See how those beautiful fingers stroke the piano keys, making all of the fangirls swoon…..

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Again, the long, sexy fingers stroke an instrument – this time guitar strings.  More swooning….

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To quote Miss Swift:  “But you’re just so cool… run your hands through your hair, absentmindedly makin’ me want you…”

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See how the fingers caress the microphone and gently touch your face…. (sigh…)

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And how the fingers play with each other….very sexy…

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Love the fingers here…what they’re doing, what they’re touching, how they look…  **thud**  The fangirls have had all they can take….

And Robert – dear, dear Robert – if all of this photographic evidence was not enough, all of us will look at these pictures and imagine these very fingers stroking, touching, playing, running through hair…

No, Robert.  I’m sorry, but you’re wrong.  There are many words to describe your fingers, but “weird” is definitely not one of them….

Hoping to someday see these marvelous fingers for myself,

Twigal

Thanks, Twigal! It’s Friday. We like Rob a lot on Fridays! Today is no different!

Dear girl at Universal NBC who just sent this video to me,

I really appreciate the heads up on the video, but what I’d like even more is a private re-make of the scene between me and Robert. Are you the person I need to talk to about having that set-up? Can we do that NOW? I’ll fly to LA, Vancouver, London, wherever..

Love,
UnintendedChoice

PS: I’m still shaking from the joy of this moment

Dear Rob,

Picture this: Moon & I are chatting on instant messenger late into the night- cracking up over videos posted by Glow Worm (our term of endearment for the craziest Twilight fan who has ever existed) and discussing the complexities of your relationship with Kristen during the 1 hour “Behind the Scenes of the Vanity Fair shoot.”  It was at this moment that we decided the world needed to hear our opinions about the craziness surrounding Twilight and the actors. And we needed a safe place to go fangirl crazy over you.  Thus, our sites were born.

Starting the world’s best blog, we knew the following things: most Twilight fans were crazier than us, sometimes we embarrassed ourselves for joining in the crazy (especially when it came to you) and the only solution to remaining sane was making fun of it all- ourselves included. But we’ve discovered that our favorite thing is when our readers poke fun of themselves and admit to the crazy.  We believe that this admission means one is NOT crazy but is, in fact, quite sane (well, as sane as a person who subscribes to 23 Twilight blogs, writes letters to a celebrity they’ll never meet, spends 10 hours a day reading fan fiction and responds to fake Twilight characters on Twitter can be)

Love,
UnintendedChoice

(Stop asking to see vids of the Glow Worm- we’re so mean to her behind her back that we fear we might end up in hell if we share)

Two of our favorite “crazy” letters arrived this week. Enjoy them. And remember. Admitting your craziness means you’re not actually crazy. We hope…

Crazy turning 30

This is only crazy if you're turning 30. Not if you're 25 and married. Nope

Dear Rob,

I can’t believe it’s come to this….I know I keep saying that I’m turning 30 soon, but I do that because I really think a crisis is going to hit because this is something 30 year olds don’t do: hang up posters of 17 year old movie characters in their bedrooms. But then I thought, oh hell, grown men have swimsuit models hanging on their walls as bachelors so what’s the big deal? Since you’re actually 22 though, Dateline NBC won’t come knocking on my door, so this is a good thing!

But I had today off. I’m suppose to be doing really responsible things, you know like cleaning, laundry, running errands, get my sister’s birthday present, balance my checkbook, you know, the norm. But instead I remain in my pajamas and…..I hang an Edward Cullen poster on my bedroom door.  (First of all I must say I screamed like a school girl in the phone when I called Blockbuster to see if they had these in yet and they told me they did!) I think this classifies as #1 on my list of “Crazy things you don’t normally do but you do because you’re turning 30!”

I wanted to do something that most people do like pierce their tongue (nope, don’t have the balls), or get a tattoo (nope I hate needles) so instead I go back to jr. high and hang up a poster of someone who I can’t stop thinking about daily but will never ever have. Yep! It’s all good though because it’s your sexy face!

However, I may have to take it down late spring because once the humdity comes (you know pre A/C when you have your windows open for a while) the sticky wears off on the tape.  That like, use to happen all the time to my N.K.O.T.B. posters in the middle of the night. I’d hear a loud crash and wake up realizing one fell off the wall and I’d have to get up and make sure Jordan Knight didn’t have a tear on his face. And I would hate for your gorgeous face to get all bent and wrinkled because it fell….that just wouldn’t be good.

Sigh….Rob, Rob, Rob…how am I going to explain this one to my friends, especially the male ones? I’ll say it’s suppose to help with good dreams. 😉

Love you, mean it, Jena

Crazy in Scotland

Hello,

I fear my Twilight obsession is turning me into a Big Fat Liar. I’m from Scotland and encountered T while on holiday in Florida last November/December. I lied to my husband, telling him the books were only available in the US so I could buy all 4 volumes without too much whining. I then lied and said we’d go to see Australia at the cinema, but bought tickets for Twilight instead. Honestly, his gullibility drives me to it.

Once home, I shut myself up in our workroom telling him I had important stuff to do for work, so I could read Midnight Sun undisturbed. He even brought me tea – bless.

-Nancy

Crazy people who are actually crazy after the jump!

let's get physical, physical!

Dear Rob-

These pictures of you post workout came out today and it left me wondering a few things…

-did you get self conscious in Japan being around buff Taylor so you thought you needed to step up your workout game a little? More leg presses less pints… and repeat

-do you workout in those doc martens? what about arch support?

-actually do you workout in that entire get up? cause i’d LOVE to see the faces of the hollywood gym rats as you pump iron in your best johnny-cash-man-in-black get up

-was the workout really strenuous? or did you take a shower there cause you’re totally glistening or is that just straight sweat, cause we all know you love the stench baby

-where are your sunglasses? it was bright in LA today. the ray bans my dear, the RAY BANS. Here’s a hint from a sunshine native: keep a spare pair in the car!

yea, the left pocket!

so in my imagination i see you working out with “let’s get physical” playing in the background… ok well maybe that’s just my weird twisted fantasy, but I’ve decided to put together a little workout playlist for your ipod.You can thank me after you get home. In fact why don’t you share it with all the muscleheads and make some friends…

Lets get physical – Olivia newton John
Baby Workout – Jackie Wilson (for my pal LA)
Gonna make you sweat – C&C Music Factory (gonna make you sweat till you bleed!)
Sexyback – JT (uh let’s face it, you’re defs bringing it back)
Too Sexy – Right Said Fred

Ok so this will get you through about a 14 minute workout but I don’t think you really have the attention span for longer than that cause you seem the type to get bored and go out for a drink and cig instead.  I totes understand. If you do, shoot me a text and I’ll meet you.

Oh and i left you a spare key to my house in your pocket! see ya in a few!
Themoonisdown

Thanks to: Robsessed and Robert Pattinson Source

Thank you for being a friend

Dear Rob,

Today’s letter is a simple one. It’s not filled with pictures for everyone to lust over with captions like “Bang me now” or “You’re just full of sex on fire.” No, no… this letter is more innocent. We spend so much time drooling over you and not enough time appreciating you for anything other than your looks. So today we’re writing just to Thank You.
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Thank you for being a humble, charming guy in your interviews. Thank you for being so nice to fans and signing autographs and posing for pictures, even when you’re “off the clock.”

If the Devil wears Prada, then you're the FINEST Devil I know!

Thanks for hating Hollywood and the superficial nightlife that goes along with it and for being “real” and saying you’d rather be reading 2666 by Roberto Bolano than out partying with the girls from The Hills. On a slightly superficial note, thanks for keeping it real in ripped, dirty jeans and then being able to look so delectably delicious in Dolce & Gabana and Prada.

But most importantly, thank you for increasing the libido for the hundreds of woman visiting our site. The frequency and intensity of our sex lives has increased TENFOLD. (Oh, and the males in our lives thank you too- although most of them are patting themselves on the back thinking they are the cause for our screams of pleasure. They are unaware it has 100% to do with YOU)

Love,
UnintendedChoice

PS: Stop being humble, Robbie! I PROMISE you our sex lives have ROCKED since you came in the picture. Haven’t you ever spent any time reading the comments we get on your letters? The hormones are RAGING, and they’re being let out on someone (cuz as far as I know, none of the girls have met YOU yet- but just wait.. when they do… well, you’re gonna need to take a lot of naps, i’mjustsayin’) Now, as further proof for your sexual prowess, read this letter we received after the jump!

Dear Rob,

Can you help a sister out? I watched this video (minutes 1:56 to 2:05 specifically) 58 times in full screen, pausing on 2:04 every time, took 3 different screen shots and zoomed in as FAR as I could, and I STILL can’t tell if you’re wearing boxers or going commando.  Can you let me know? Thanks!

Love,
UnintendedChoice (oh and theMoonisDown is wondering too. She thinks she broke the zoom feature on her blackberry but is grateful she didn’t total her car while driving down the 101 and attempting to figure out the mystery of “is Rob or is Rob not naked?)

Sing us a song you're the piano man... sing us a song tonight

Dear Rob-

With you being out of town in Japan and all I had to show Lilcrazycow (my visiting cousin) the sights of LA. And since you weren’t available the trusty pocket sized version of you had to suffice. Come back soon Roberto!

Location: Capitol Records- Hollywood, California. Who knew little Eddy could sing like a bird? Piano sure, but this kid’s got a future in the recording business. Be on the lookout for “The Very Best of Edward Vol. 1” coming out never.

Much love and we’ll bring you more from this weekend of mini Edward and Robert fun!
Themoonisdown

PS See where else little Edward has been

Dear LTR Readers-

This isn’t our usual Saturday Morning Delight video but my cousin and fellow twi-hard is in town and she helped me comb through videos just for you awesome readers and nothing we watched got quite the reaction like this one did. Like tears streaming down our faces. And besides we really couldnt watch anymore terrible Evanesence / weird rob pic videos, we’ve gotta get back to our Rob-lumber party complete with Edward pillows and blankets (pictures to come!)

Try not to pee your pants!
Themoonisdown and lilcrazycow (moon’s cousin and one of our original readers!)

PS this is funny because we’re either 12 yr old boys at heart or we’ve totally gone crazy wrapped in our Edward snuggies

street lights, people living just to find emotion...

Dear Robert and Taylor-

We just wanted to write you boys a letter while you’re in Tokyo to say we really hope you’re out living it up, eating sushi, buying sneakers out of a vending machine, teaching Taylor how to do Sake bombs and buying ridiculous electronics. After that, I can just imagine the two of you stumbling into a karaoke bar and drunkenly singing “Don’t Stop Believing” and “Total Eclipse of the Heart” with your arms around a couple of Japanese businessmen. Then you guys’ll make friends for life with these gents. I can tell, that’s the type of boys you are. Then said Japanese business men will take you to meet with some Geisha’s, and you all can teach young Taylor a thing or two about women (but not TOO much, robbie, he has to come home to Wolfgirl). Let him find out what those gals REALLY wear under those Kimono’s.

Oh and don’t worry about Kristen, she’s too busy back at the hotel crying and commenting about how mean we are to her over at LTT. Oh and Reba McEntire showed up, WTF!?

Have fun and bring me back some Hello Kitty shiz that i don’t have!
XO
Themoonisdown

Rob+Tay=BFF

After the jump, JBell has done it again with all the best Japan coverage. Thanks girl! XO

Dear Rob,

I know you were gagging while complimenting Zac & Vanessa on their performance in HSM3 (good job pretending you’ve even heard of it- and props to the quick thinking on behalf of your manager, Nick, for giving you a heads up)

We all know you were really just wanting to wanting to tell Vanessa “Fabulous performance tonight, but you’re still no Leah…”

And instead of joking with Zac about your matching bow ties, we know you just wanted to give him some pointers on having sex with a co-star. “Dude, I just hit it and ran…why you hitting it and sticking around?”

'Hit it and run. That's how I roll'

Speaking of co-stars you’ve hit and run from, was it awkward seeing PapaStew (Kristen’s dad) at all? You guys seemed pretty casual.

JStew: "Then you're gonna say 'This is Hollywood, got it?" Rob: "Got it" JStew: "Now Rob, did you fool around with my daughter while shooting Twilight?" Rob: "Uh, what? I mean, ye- no, what did you hear? huh? did Michael say somet... did she like it? I mean, did she say something? Does she want a round 2? Wait, what's the question?" AND ACTION Rob: "This is Hollywood"

Love,
Us

We keep thinking we’re retiring the Oscars. Then we remember how damn hot you looked and decide to bring it out of retirement.

In other news, happy 26th birthday to one of our first blog readers and UC’s in-real-life friend MushroomMexLover. In honor of your birthday, Mex, I am sharing with the world my favorite quotes you have ever said about Rob or Twilight.

At the end of an e-mail to me about a party we were attending. p.s.  please bring rob.  i’m planning on wearing my blue blouse that clings to my frame.

um so today i was telling the guy I started dating how i sometimes have a hard time reading him…. it went something like this:
“i’m usually very good at reading people…with just one exception.”

i met my future in-laws today.  still didn’t meet alice…i mean trish (his sister).  his father is so compassionate and his mother incredibly loving.  just like another couple i know….

he also has a brother that can alter the moods of others.

Love you MushroomMexlover. Happy Birthday!

We got a whole slew of Oscar-related letters sent to us after Sunday and decided to post the highlights after the jump.