Warning: this post will be controversial. And we love controversy! You might not agree with me. And that’s fine. Cuz Moon & I disagree about it, but she’s wrong. She is. Ready, set Go:
I have a confession: Some pictures were released of you yesterday and I was so underwhelmed. The fandom was freaking. I think twitter broke & I heard there was a 40 car pile up on I-95 because some chick opened the link on robsessed and slammed on her breaks, hyperventilating. And I thought this:
He looks really British. And not like hot Jude Law British, but bad British. Like inbred British Royalty.
I felt alone. Everyone was going on and on about how good you looked for this photo shoot. And all I could think was that there was a reason why these were outtakes and released almost a year after the initial photos were seen. So what does a girl do when she feels very alone in her opinions? Goes to the The Quad who, of course, wouldn’t dare disagree with her, would they?
EastFriend: No, these pics are NOT hot. At all. He looks exactly like every other English lad–scruffy, mildly cute, and kinda smelly. Some of these fans are so hardcore and feel it’s treason to ever call him anything other than hot. He’s not always hot. And that’s not blasphemy for me to say–there just happen to be less than flattering pics of him out there- Like that GQ cover of Zac—-ewwww, he looked like a bobble-head. Worst pic of him ever. And I love me some Gayfron.
Moon: It’s like half ‘gotta go potty’ half ‘school picture day.’ He does have intense eyes though, I’ll give him that. The bedazzled denim vest he wore makes him look like an English redneck or something, and I could SWEAR a member of NSync wore the same damn vest for Rolling Stone like 10 yrs ago.
EastFriend: He looks like a wanker who needs to have the piss taken out of him. That’s my thought upon first view. Second view, He looks tired, scrutty, mildly cute (like- “Hey, that guy by the bar is not too bad!”- cute), and he reeks of ciggie smoke. Duh. Like…old ciggie smoke. Man, I’m hoping he was wearing those old black slippers…with his big toe sticking out. That would redeem every one of the pics. He’s also thinking, “The second I leave here, it’s cheeseburgers, beers and a nap–all in that order.”
WestFriend: The only thing I keep thinking of when I am looking at that wet picture is the part in OC season 3 when Summer tells Cohen she likes to look at him when he is navigating the sailboat and Cohen says, “Summer…are you telling me you like ‘seaman’?” Wow…
Moon: This one he looks like he might be a special needs class. or have one VERY short midget arm
UC: Lifting his leg, about to fart
Oh we’re not done. The Quad doesn’t suddenly show up for a SHORT post now!
Secret msg to Rob
WestFriend: The last time I actually died was from the New Moon set pics. I love him as Robward. And then the pics of him in front of the church marquee! And then the GQ pics.
Moon: This is my big secret, but I gotta say I’m not a huge fan of the Sex Drive pics! SHOCK! STUNNED SILENCE! Died: The Italy pics (well mostly the vid of them put together), GQ (sad rob pic), original Dossier when the first couple came out, um FRENCH PREMIERE- my all time fave rob look i think. LA premiere. and of course the beard pic from LA Times.
EastFriend: We’re breaking up. Sex Drive pics are my ALL TIME FAVES. Well, except for Urban Cowboy, via GQ. And I hated his hair at the LA premiere–he looked like Wolverine. But looooooved him @the London premiere. You need to do a post where you reveal your dislike for the Sex Drive pics. And you may quote me as saying, “Beotch, please!” ‘Cause he was THE sex that night. That’s “THE,” all capitalized.
UC: First time I died: London premiere, and then like every day ever since except for today (especially GQ day, Robscars day, and the yacht day in cannes) and I agree…. sorry EastFriend, not a big Sex Drive fan.. his chest looks shaved. ew
Moon: God! I thought I was alone in that one! We’re in this together people! a Rob for everyone
WestFriend: I don’t like the Sex Drive ones either! That was a “BEEEEOTCH PLEASE” moment for me. Oh goodness! Umm hi. I HATED his hair at the LA premiere. It’s like he decided to spruce up for the home crowd at the London premiere.
EastFriend: How can you not LOVE this picture? I’ve always particularly loved the way his chest looks in these pics. That’s the one which made my friend say, and I quote, “That look right there? That’s foreplay. And I’d stretch that shiz out all day.” Truer words have never been spoken. Or quoted.
I also love it because it was said that the minute he finished walking the red carpet, he got the heck out of Dodge. That’s so James Dean…he was all, “Yeah, Summit…pimp me out…I’ll do the job…I’ll pose, I’ll smile pretty…until I get to the end of the line, and then it’s dive bars and whiskey for the rest of the night.” Brilliant. I love the Sex Drive pics. And what an appropriately titled movie for these shots, too. Ahem.
Moon: I don’t know girl… it’s the hair and like how its like the greasiest that it ever was. And the weird chest hair. I don’t know, just not my fave. And the look is like “ruh roh” scooby doo style or something.
UC: He kinda looks pale like he had a cold that night… and that he might barf & that his nose is runny
WestFriend: Rob looks like snoopy – vulture style in that sex drive pic. I would be afraid if he looked at me that way. I would throw him my wallet and anything that could possible be pawned if he looked at me that way.
EastFriend: Y’all are bitches. Straight up bitches. I love the Sex Drive pics because of the hair. It’s fab. Love his slightly-sheeny silver shirt. Love his completely bored-yet-still-working-it facial expressions. Love all of it. I even love the London premiere of Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire pics…in that terrible red velvet jacket with the leather pants. He’s so Prince-wannabe and I love it.
WestFriend: Someone please tell me EastFriend was joking about loving the velveteen-rabbit jacket of horridness.
(She wasn’t joking)