Rob Pattinson’s February M.O.M

Dear Rob,

I’ve been inspired- inspired by a certain Twilight blog that likes to spotlight one of their members once a month- to do the same on LTR. We’re calling it: Rob’s M.O.M. (Match of the Month). Let’s not waste any time. This month, our match for you is….. TIFFANIZED

Tiffanized was the perfect first match choice for you because she’s gorgeous, witty and looks SMOKIN’ a pair of jorts:

Tiffanized- all dressed up for a hot date night

Tiffanized won our “Perfect New Moon premiere outfit” contest back in the fall and got to pick out her very own Twilight-themed cafe press shirt as a prize. The woman running the contest asked me to have our winner submit a picture in the Tshirt. The picture above is what Tiffany submitted. Notice the attention to details: The jorts, the fanny pack, the Bella Wig, the T-shirt tucked in with a belt. Brilliant.

After the jump, get to know Tiffanized, our February Rob’s M.O.M!

Tell us about yourself:
Status: Divorced
Age: 33
Sex: Yes, please
Height: 5’6”
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Nice N Easy #115
Smoke: Only when I’m on fire
Drink: Can you make an Edward Wallbanger?
Occupation: Mostly it seems I get paid to make snarky comments on Twilight blogs
Hobbies: Traveling the world with my Pocket Edward. Beating my friends at Twilight: Scene It. Reading Twilight en Francais (they call it “Fascination” over there). Making cakes that look remarkably like a certain sparkly male appendage.

What makes you the perfect match for Rob?

• I have hands on experience dressing my kids in the morning. Never again will Rob show up at a press event with a misbuttoned shirt or untied shoes.
• With a closet full of bridesmaid dresses from weddings past, I’m red carpet ready.
• I shop at thrift stores and have a Kohl’s credit card.
• I have short dark hair, so from behind, I’ll totally look like TomStu.

Just a little fun on a Saturday night

Have you ever dated anyone that reminded you of Rob?

Just that one guy I met behind a dumpster. I thought he was a scruffy hipster, but it turns out he was just homeless. I bought him a Jitterbug, gave him some Marks & Spencer wool socks, microwaved him a Hot Pocket and sent him on his way.

Have you dated anyone that reminded you of Edward/Tyler/Daniel Gale/Cedric Diggory/Whoever else he’s played?

My ex-boyfriend was just like Edward: he stalked me, laughed at any attempt I made to assert myself, thought I needed constant supervision and turned his nose up at everything I cooked. I kid, I kid.

If you had to pick a character of Rob’s to date, you’d pick:

Daniel Gale, because:

• he would appreciate my rack
• he would bring me jars of jam and pregnancy tests
• he makes out in bathrooms
• he’d listen to George Foreman with my grandma
  he wouldn’t mind that I already had kids since he was totally cool raising that girl’s baby from another dude

Craziest thing you’ve ever done or thought of in the name of Rob:

Drove to New York City to sit on the Alice in Wonderland statue in Central Park to get some of Rob’s butt germs from when he was filming Remember Me. I even pulled out my Pocket Edward, and from the giggles that ensued, I wasn’t the only one there who spent June 30, 2009 looking at pictures of Rob sitting on a big mushroom.

Leg Hitch!

Quick fling or life long relationship with Rob?

Quick fling. He’s aging at an alarming rate. He’s like a science experiment to see how cigarettes, cheap liquor and Kristen Stewart wreak havoc on the physique of a young British man.

Which Rob is your favorite?

I’m going to have to go with Vanity Fair Rob – The one from 2008, not the corn-eating one from 2009 wearing a horse blanket.

Reason you’re a Different “TwiMom”

I’m not your average TwiMom since–apart from my complete lack of t-shirts with “TwiMom” bedazzled on–my kids hate Twilight. They hide it well, but the second hand embarrassment my kids have endured in dealing with my Twilight/Rob obsessions will keep the mental health profession afloat for quite a few years. Also, I’m still pretty cute. I’m like a TwiOlderSister or a TwiYoungAunt, really.

Do you have a Rob Shrine and can we see a picture of it?

I do not have a shrine per se, but I do have a lenticular New Moon water cup that I carry around the office with me like it’s a normal thing to do. When I’m in long meetings, I pivot the cup to and fro so it looks like Robward is winking at me. Totally normal. Oh, and I have a Robward pillow. And a life size Cardboard Edward.

Tell us about your life BR (before Rob)

I like to think that there was never really life before Rob. Oh, I ate and breathed and slept and birthed a couple of children, but before Rob there was never a Holy Grail to which I could aspire. My heart didn’t stop every time I saw a tall dude in a stocking cap and denim jacket with a plaid collar. I never considered the seriousness of tweed. The words “dadcase” and “Pattinson pants” were not part of my vocabulary. It was a barren existence, let me tell you.

Just a little light reading

Have you ever called out the name “Rob” in the throes of passion (and his name wasn’t Rob)?

Yes, so now I mostly date Robs to cut down on the awkward factor. Or sometimes, I suggest a little “role play” where the only role being played is that the guy lets me call him Rob and the lights are off.

Do you read more Fan Fiction than real books?

I force myself to read real books (like Independent People) and reward myself with fan fiction when I’m done reading that boring crap. Fan fic is my literary deep fried Twinkie.

Tell us the truth: have you ever written a one shot starring you and Rob?

No, but I have written an epic poem entitled, “Rob Me All Night Long”. It’s very classy.

Thanks Tiffanized! And congrats on being our first ever Rob’s M.O.M.

Love,
Unintenedchoice

Do you want to be considered for March’s Rob’s M.O.M.? Send us a short paragraph with the reasons why and we’ll consider you! FYI- you don’t actually have to be a mom…. 🙂

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