You don’t give us anything new over the weekend? That’s okay, we know you enough to figure out what you’re thinking & saying at this point. Enjoy Moon & I breaking down the new Vanity Fair pics, Vanity Fair style. We do a little role-playing as you and Kristen & provide some personal commentary as well.
Show your face soon (or get Vanity Fair to keep releasing outtakes cuz dayyuummm),
UnintendedChoice and theMoonisDown
Kristen: yea, YOU I’m pointing at YOU. You don’t like these nasty shoes? You think they smell? I’ll show you exactly how much I care. Bang bang
Rob: Dam, I think I gotta take a dump. Those carne asides tacos from catering are doing a number on my delicate digestive system
Rob: Yes now. Right now. Do you think Peggy will notice?’
Kristen: I’ll smile and she’ll be totally dazed since I never smile- then she’ll be distracted long enough or you to do your thang. But I’m not swinging on the swing with you afterwards. Poop I can handle, vomit? Not so much
Kristen: OMG this totally reminds me of that one time at the Fall out Boy concert
Rob: wait, FALLOUTBOY???
Kristen: I mean uhhh…. elliott smith. Fine. I lied. I had a crush on Pete Wentz before he got with Ashley Simpson. I love his emo man bangs swoop!
Rob: you like emo? you should hear my dashboard covers album Let’s jump to show them how emo we are!
Kristen: can we stop jumping now?
Rob: yea I’m feeling sick again
Which end does Rob let it all come out? Find out after the jump
Rob: let’s pick on the little guy
Kristen: I bet he’s never had his nipple pinched
Cam: why doesn’t anyone pay attention to me anymore?”
Tay: If I smile maybe they’ll stop giving me titty twister
Tay: (thinks) I’m hard
Rob: (thinks) Dude, I think Tay is hard. I think he thinks Cams hand is Kristen’s
Photographer: Rob- give me primal. Give me lioness. Work it Kristen work it! GRRR baby. NO really GIVE ME GRRRRR. Like you’re a lioness on the prowl
Kristen: WTF? I’m gonna hit you…
Rob: Seriously… look at her. she’s gonna hit you
Cam: I’ll give you grr
Rob: wow, she kinda is a lioness. Kristen, wanna watch Lion King tonight?
Cam: Hakuna Matata- ain’t no passsing phrase
Kristen: it means no worries, for the rest of your days
Rob: it’s our (mumbles mumbles mumbles) philosophy!!!
Taylor: (off camera) Hakkkunnnaaa Mataataaaaaaa
Kristen: Seriously I said go find a porta potty. or don’t eat the tacos next time. You’re worse than my dad coming down off his high.
Rob: so you show me your underpants? that’ll make me leave?
Kristen: it makes most of the boys leave..
Rob: (pondering the flashing) I’ve never seen anything like it. I think she had on a Jacob thong. Bitch. I thought she was Team Edward
Kristen: maybe if I lean hard enough I can get him out of the frame all together. I look so hot today. This should just be a photo-shoot of me
Cam: dude that whole spider monkey thing was only for the MOVIE
Kristen: What is this Rob?”
Rob: you’ll find out. Keep reaching
Taylor: (thinking) I think Rob is hard
Rob: wanna have a staring contest?
Kristen: that’s so lame
Rob: Come on
Kristen: I won the stare championship in 6th grade, I’m already the champion. It’s over. It’s why I was home schooled. I beat everyone in a stare down and the kids were afraid of me
Moon: You know that special feeling you get when you climb the rope in gym class? Rob’s definitely got that feeling here
Rob: What are you doing?
Kristen: The sad salute
Rob: cool (salutes)
Kristen: You have to pledge your life to plaid, the anti showering message and being sullen. Those are the tenants of living the “sad” life
Rob: you say plaid, I salute. Can I also have sex with you in the sad life
Rob: I’m in!
Moon: this is the picture where they bet on who has the most grease in their hair. A VF staffer is gonna bring out a measuring cup
UC: Rob wins. A stylist made Kristen use an entire bottle of PSSSST dry shampoo
Moon: Plus she has to shower more often… you know “lady” reasons
UC: Yeah. the Jacob Thong gets an occasional wash
Moon: Yeah, Rob just flips his underwear inside out
UC: She carefully washes that Team Jacob thong as if it were a delicate La Perla under-garment
Moon: This reminds me of those summers at camp where we would do trust falls
UC: Rob trusts her.. and she’s like “Suckaaa” and pushes him down
You never trust a lioness
Moon: this whole photo shoot makes my hay/ragweed allergies act up just looking at it
Moon: This whole photoshoot is so amazing. This lady just needs to sell these or print a book or something
UC: It’s all soo freaking beautiful. It makes me so mad that they’re so beautiful……. I really hope they’re together in real life
Moon: Dude anyone who thinks they’re NOT together is totally blind!
UC: I know! He’s TOTALLY hitting that. No wait- he’s TOTALLY making love to that!!!
Moon: People who don’t believe should stop wishing they were her (or him). They’re sharing their magicness.
UC: Seriously. Delusional freaks.
Moon: I mean, I can’t even pay attention to the fake lesbians here because of what’s happening. They might as well just COME OUT already we all know
UC: I can’t even pay attention to Rob trying to get up on Elizabeth Reaser because I’m so distracted by their amazingness
Moon: Dude Rob knows an experienced woman who knows what she wants when he sees it.
UC: You were talking about Jackson & Ashley and how he’s kissing her here right?
Moon: Of course. Who else would I be talking about? Maybe Elizabert and Jashley can double date…to a 100 monkey concerts or something
UC: or Kellan’s Bible study… that he leads on Wednesday nights
It’s the photoshoot that won’t quit! Thankfully. Can’t wait to see what they bring this year! No pressure vanity fair! It’s not like Moon & I started this blog because of your first photoshoot….
There’s more pics where these came from. Via Robsessed