FACTS about Rob Pattinson in London

Dear Rob,

FACT: This week has kinda been insane with all the pics, vids & promo shizz you’ve done for us. FACT: I don’t think I’ve even watched or seen half of it. FACT: I’ve been wanting to do another FACT post for awhile since last time we did it it was so freakin’ fun. FACT, I may have had a glass or two of wine on an empty stomach and FACT I’m a light-weight so FACT I’m quite tipsy cuz FACT I’m utterly depressed that because Moon lives in LA she gets to do every fun thing in the history of ever like see a pre-screening of Remember Me today. FACT: I might hate Moon.

Moving on, as I was gazing at the before pictures from when you were on “What not to Wear” pictures of you in London yesterday, I was struck by a ton of FACTS about you.

I hope I got them right. Actually I know I did cuz tipsy UC is always right. That’s a FACT

Love,
UnintendedChoice

FACT: Nick took one look at Rob’s outfit and said, “Oh no you don’t.” and Rob said “You’re not the boss of me.” Then Nick said “Oh, yes I am.” So Rob grabbed a random cougar off the London streets knowing she would be okay with his outfit because, what cougar would disagree with Rob? Turns out THIS cougar would disagree with Rob. She wants in Nick’s pants, so she got an invite in the car and Rob got pissed at the two of them.

FACT: Rob mistakenly thinks of his co-stars and director as examples of high fashion and in an effort to copy their fashion taste will be seen wearing a soccer goalie’s shirt paired with mustard-colored pants to the LA premiere. (Taylor is “too young to know what real fashion is” so he’ll ignore him)

FACT: Rob asked Kristen for an autograph. When she looked at him puzzled he exclaimed, “Oh gosh. Hey K. I thought you were this guy from my favorite team.”

FACT: Rob said ” ‘Sup ” to that bodyguard once he realized they had the same jacket on

FACT: Whoever this woman is in the reflection of the car window has already blown-up and framed this image and sent a copy to her family and friends with the caption, “The night I almost kissed RPattz”

FACT: Since they never see each other, while Rob was home for one day, Clare Pattinson threw every holiday meal back-to-back. The chubby cheeks are a result of celebrating Thanksgiving*, Christmas and Easter all in a row. Plus after the final meal, Rob was still hungry so heated up a hot pocket.

FACT: When asked to sign Stephenie Meyer’s book “The Host,” Rob didn’t think twice because he thought the cover of the book with the girl’s one eye represented that cool fanfic he read last week starring himself and that ‘really hot blind girl.’

FACT: This conversation took place, “Rob what a great jacket you’re wearing tonight. That looks so warm. Who designed it?” Rob, “Thanks, Sally. It’s actually my dad’s. I liked it because it was TWEED and TWEED is pretty serious and I felt I needed a serious edge tonight.” Sally, “Uh. Oh. That’s, uh, interesting. How did you come across your dad’s jacket?” Rob,”I don’t get home much and when I do I like to reminisce about when I was a 10 year old lad. I escaped into my dad’s closet when my mom was trying to convince Kristen to let her do something to her hair. That’s when I came across the jacket. And guess what else is cool? It’s the same jacket that I was conceived in!”

FACT: Due to Rob’s increase in money and famousness, he has fired his stylist and prefers to close his eyes, spin in 3 circles, walk 2 blocks to the closest thrift store, go around back to the dumpsters and pull clothes out of the thrift store reject pile when in need of an outfit for a big night out.

FACT: Rob can make us forget all about the catastrophic TWEED ensemble from the Dick Pattinson 1988 wardrobe collection with one touch of his lips from his long-fingernails-for-guitar-playing hands. *Swoon*

What FACTS about Rob have you thought of during the press tours this week?

FACT: The Forum rules and so does LTT

FACT: All my pictures are from Just Jared Jr. except the soccer goalie pic from@estrellititita
*FACT: I’m not dumb, I know T-giving is an American holiday!