What's there to explain dear, I'm ROB and he's a mere mortal
Dear Rob,
I have a serious issue to discuss with you, so serious that this conversation needs to take place in the forest and make sure you wear your tweed (because tweed=serious).
Ready Rob?
So today marks a year that I have been living the single life and I’ve decided its time to put on some big girl panties (of course I couldn’t go a whole letter without discussing my panties with you) and get back into the dating world.
No Rob this does not mean I’m breaking up with you. I wanted to have this serious conversation about how I should break it to the new guy that he will never be my #1 because let’s face it Rob it will always be you. Since the new guy (let us call him Jacob, just because it seems fitting) can’t make me choose, he will just have to learn to accept my love for you. But Rob how do I let him in on our relationship without scaring him away? Do I do it all at once and unleash the full force of our passionate love? Should I show him the giant poster of you I keep next to my bed, the saga AKA bibles that are worn and tear-stained, and the fanfiction (AKA smutfest fantasies of you and me)?
you mean THIS jaw porn?
Or do I hide you while the relationship with Jacob is still new and change the “jaw porn” folder on my computer to “boring tax return info” to hide my pictures of you? Do I lie and tell Jacob that I am attending my grandparents golden wedding anniversary that he would be bored to tears at when I’m really flying to Boston for a Twilight convention?
Then there are the awards nights and the midnight premieres when my fangirling becomes a questionable medical condition….how do I explain that Rob? I do not think Jacob will be convinced that the Eclipse countdown is for an actual ‘eclipse’ displaying my new found love of astronomy. And I can assure you Rob, Jacob will know I am not checking the DVR 872894 3 times to make sure the MTV movie awards are taping so I don’t miss watching more blue Avatar people.
You see Rob, I have lived in the Twi-closet for over a year now and I need your help on the “Jacob situation.” Do not forget Rob, I promise to love you every moment of forever but there has to be room in this heart of mine for Jacob.
Love,
Rocky
Has anyone has a Rocky-like situation. You found your man after falling head first into a Rob obsession and now you’re wondering wtf you’re gonna tell “Jacob?” What’d you do? Did he understand? Did you break up with him a month later cause he just wasn’t Rob?
Letters to Rob 
Rocky, this is my greatest fear. When I finally find a nice boy (who wears plaid and Ray Bans) how do I break it to him my love for Rob? And how do I do it in a way where he doesn’t look at pictures of Rob and then in the mirror and think “Is she only with me because we dress alike, my hair is also constantly bed-head sexy and I also play the acoustic guitar mumble style?”
It’s a dilemma!
Also, remember after the BAFTA’s where my love for Rob waned for weeks? Well, it’s back, it’s back HARD.
By: Shleeeigh on April 29, 2010
at 8:14 am
TWSS. It just needed sayin’. Bad.
By: Bella_NaA on April 29, 2010
at 8:45 am
That’s what she said!
“play the acoustic guitar mumble style”
bwahahaha….
By: Rob's slow mo' strut on April 29, 2010
at 8:50 am
Hear all the objections – and the dissing of Rob *Gasp* then show him some FF and explain you may be willing to “act out” certain scenes – Problem solved
It works for all of us married gals – no Rob therefore no FF therefore no vast improvement in the bedroom dept.
By: h2oforelephants on April 29, 2010
at 8:16 am
Amen! Once he sees the benefits of your love of Rob he’ll be thanking him.
By: Cam on April 29, 2010
at 9:00 am
FF will always help a man hate Rob less. It should be utilized by relationship therapists.
By: Katie S on April 29, 2010
at 9:43 am
Hurrah for FanFiction
🙂
By: @BarnesGirl11 on April 29, 2010
at 10:41 am
Being married myself, I often wondered how would I feel if my husband lusted after some girl and blogged about her everyday, saved pics of her in secret folders (on a shared computer), see her movies ONLY with his guy friends, read any book that she’s affiliated with, buy magazines and T-shirts with her face on them (oops did I mention that out loud), googled searched her daily and have daily mind sex with her???? I would not allow it and YES I KNOW I’m a hip.
I know, I know but it only makes sense that girls can have crushes and guys just have to understand that.
Long Live the Robsession!!!
boyfriends, husbands, friends w/ benfits and plastic toys will ALL HAVE to understand that Rob is IT for us. Nothing compares, he is Mr. Walking Sex and that’s all there is to it.
By: misty on April 29, 2010
at 8:49 am
I dunno why but I love that you sound sooooo determined when it comes up to Rob….like
Misty’s love for Rob against the rest of the manworld…
🙂
By: robgirl86 on April 29, 2010
at 9:05 am
I also wonder how it would be if the tables were turned and my DH was lusting after some hot chick, saving pictures with suggestive names like “panty melt” and “mmm lickable” and reading FF (aka porn) about said chick, and I don’t think I’d like it one bit. My husband tries to bait me with pictures of Helena Bonham Carter but I don’t care b/c I know he’s not into her like I am into Rob.
But I do think it’s true that girl crushes are different, and therefore perfectly acceptable. My husband’s pretty cool about it-he knows I won’t be running off with Rob and he reaps the benefits of my Robsession.
By: dazzledtodeath on April 29, 2010
at 9:32 am
We girls understand because we live in fantasyland where celeb crushes are normal. We know they exist only in our heads, but since men seem to act out more (i.e. stalk), we are less accepting if they have one sole object of obsession. Men seem like creepy stalkers if they focus on one woman, but since women weren’t historically the sexual agressors it seems less threatening. Women are more vocal about their perviness, men have to hide it.
Wait, whaaaaaaa am I talking about? Ouch, this Tweed is itchy.
By: snowwhitedrifted on April 29, 2010
at 12:16 pm
I’ve pondered this question, and I think your tweedy explanation is very accurate.
By: The Old One on April 29, 2010
at 2:40 pm
Misty you brought up a good point, I feel the same. I wonder if I would feel jealous just like how he is jealous of Rob(irrational, I know).
A week and half ago my laptop caught a virus and DH had to fix it and therefore he found and saw all my pictures and the extensive Robporn! I was so embarrassed! He asked me “why do I save his pictures?” I was stumped so I said “because I want to look at them over and over again.” So last night he brought this issue up out of the blue and I just let it go. He said it wouldn’t be any different if he was looking at women online and saved their pics in a file on his computer. Well I insisted it’s not the same but maybe it is.
What do you think? 🙂 I think this is just all for fun for me you know.
By: southernbelle on April 29, 2010
at 9:36 am
How can anyone compare Rob to a girl, or a woman?
Our love, lust, hotness, whatever you call it, for him is on completely another level… he’s Rob, HHH, The Pretty,….. after all. He’s beyond comparison.
By: JellybeanRainbow on April 29, 2010
at 11:04 am
Jelly, I know right? Geez louise, I was saying the same thing to him, the girls he would be looking at would be half-naked! Rob is always fully-clothed. Well in reality he is….;-) but you know how our pervy mind works!
I need to go to confession now.
By: southernbelle on April 29, 2010
at 3:14 pm
I don’t think it’s the same at all…women think differenly then men..we analyize what Rob wears or what he borrows from Dick and TomStu, we analyize his floppy to bouffant hair, scruff to shaved, where he shops…these are innocent things. BTW yesterday’s pics of Rob in London airport…brown bubble jacket and white undershirt is back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so damn hot
But I do lust over his LONG legs, scruff, eyes, JAW, long fingers, his moan, his accent, his voice…omg there is so much…..I dunno…all I do know is that my hubby CAN NOT lust over anyone like I do Rob…I would be heartbroken. This is the way I am, I can’t help it. BUT hubby really dosen’t know the extent of my Roblove. thank GOD
By: misty on April 29, 2010
at 11:06 am
Misty, yeah I agree, we women are looking far beyond Rob’s body and face(say it is so!). We analyze his clothes and shoes and everything else….and realize that he is just so darn special and we all really just WANT him!
By: southernbelle on April 29, 2010
at 3:16 pm
…and Rob is clothed in Robporn pics. If men have pics saved on their “hard drive”, there def isn’t any plaid on those women!
By: snowwhitedrifted on April 29, 2010
at 12:19 pm
I like how you put “hard drive” in quotes, SWD. And maybe women aren’t as straightforward and blatant about their perviness, that we like the whole package (TWSS), the clothes, the accent, the weird interviews, and not just plain old boring nudity. Although I would appreciate that, too, if HHH would care to indulge us.
By: The Old One on April 29, 2010
at 2:45 pm
I’m slow clapping you right now…
By: Shleeeigh on April 29, 2010
at 12:21 pm
I have no idea. Luckily, I already had my man before Rob came along. But basically, I just keep him out of all things Twi/Rob, and he seems content with the situation. When I’m doing anything Twirelated, I’m just ‘out with the girls’. So my advice is not brave or honest, but I’d say: stay in the closet. It’s cosy there.
Plus, think about it… It’s not like your future Mr. Right is worrying right now about how he’s gonna tell you about his collection of Playboys. If men feel entitled to porn, then we’re entitled to rob.
*my internal feminist just did an air fist pump and roared “yeahhh!”*
*and now I’m staring my internal feminist down*
*hm… awkward*
By: Bella_NaA on April 29, 2010
at 8:49 am
Srsly, with all my Rob (almost ex) “fondness” if I had a new guy who would totally be OK with it, I’d ditch him pronto. Because without knowing him, that would tell me he’s plain stupid and thinks being a “fan” is cool.
The robsession is only ‘normal’ and funny for us, here, full stop.
So I’d leave him ouuuuut of it, really out (with maybe one drunk joke exception, cause you can’t always think when you speak).
By: minuit passé on April 29, 2010
at 9:10 am
True! Talking too much can only be counterproductive…, for BOTH!
Love your drunk joke exception, cause in that case the only one who would laugh about it might be the drunk….and that may cause new problems when not drunk anymore…….
❤
By: robgirl86 on April 29, 2010
at 9:30 am
by drunk jokes are always hilar, k? it’s just that people don’t get them.pfft.
By: minuit passé on April 29, 2010
at 10:01 am
that’s what I said….lol
By: robgirl86 on April 29, 2010
at 10:13 am
there is always a little bit of joke in every joke, isn’t it?
the rest is the truth.
By: Rob's beanie on April 29, 2010
at 5:45 pm
I’m so far in the closet that I’m starting blend in with the clothes.
I’m speak not of my Robsession, unless it’s with other Robsessed ones.
It’s like being in a super secret cult.
By: Jules on April 29, 2010
at 11:01 am
Jules, I love being part of your SSC.
xo
lion
By: mountainlion on April 29, 2010
at 12:25 pm
Lion – I love having you as a sister-in-Rob
By: Jules on April 29, 2010
at 12:46 pm
Jules,
Couldn’t have said it better.
Muah!
me
By: mountainlion on April 29, 2010
at 12:49 pm
Jules
NOW I want a bit of your love as well…..it would fullfil a void in my life 🙂
By: robgirl86 on April 29, 2010
at 2:16 pm
uhm. me too! me too!! lion AND jules!! =]
By: applepie on April 29, 2010
at 2:33 pm
RG and Applepie, you are both in the SSC!
We are ALL sisters-in-Rob
By: Jules on April 29, 2010
at 2:38 pm
Can I join the club too, hahaha! No one else knows except y’all! Not my RL friends(except for 1) or my relatives!
By: southernbelle on April 29, 2010
at 2:56 pm
I could use some Sisters-in-Rob too! My real sisters don’t get it.
By: Keisha on April 29, 2010
at 3:35 pm
Keisha, you’re in. RL sisters have no idea what they’re missing.
SB, ofcourse, you’re also my tweeter-in-Rob.
By: Jules on April 29, 2010
at 4:27 pm
Me too!
By: drsaka on April 29, 2010
at 5:27 pm
Drsaka, You and Cath are automatic members of the SSC!
By: Jules on April 29, 2010
at 6:01 pm
Thank you, Jules!
By: drsaka on April 29, 2010
at 6:13 pm
I love being in the SSC too!
Although I do find it difficult to restrict my use of some words; Adorkable, wonky legs, mumblish, tweed, jawporn, just to see if there are any Normal people in my RL.
Nice letter Rocky, and heed the warnings!!! You don’t want Jacob thinking it’s all hot to actually pretend to be a vampire, mentioning noone (Mr Plaid )in particular.
By: Goodgirlgoneplaid on April 29, 2010
at 12:52 pm
@jules,
I’m so far in the closet I’v become a resident of Narnia!
A rather worrying thing happened the other night – I had a phone call from my lovely (60ish) mother who informed me that she thought ‘that actor in twilight was lovely’!!!! Excuse me? Who are you talking about??? it would appear that my mother now possesses a Rob calander which as pride of place in her kitchen. What is the world coming too when mothers are falling for the HHH!!!! it’s all a little disturbing and of course I’m not letting on the extend of my interest in ThePretty, but I did start thinking after the phone call that for one in my life my mother and I have actually got a shared interest……..needless to say I’m slightly freaked out!!!!!
By: mine!mine!mine! on April 29, 2010
at 1:28 pm
Maybe she’s a lurker on here & you just don’t know…yet.
By: eatmyjorts on April 29, 2010
at 2:12 pm
hahahahahahha….or maybe me is 60y old!
By: robgirl86 on April 29, 2010
at 2:15 pm
HAHAHAHA! Jorts!!!!
Mine – You need to sneak on your mom computer, see if she’s got a folder with Robporn, it may be labeled “boring tax returns” “target” “tweed seriousness” “HIM” “golf commentary” etc.
Goooooo, check!
GGGP- I used mumblish with a coworker 2 days ago, he looked at me like I was an idiot. that’s normal.
By: Jules on April 29, 2010
at 2:44 pm
@jorts
Please, please don’t say that. I’m slightly wigged out by the fact that she thinks he’s ‘a really handsome boy’!!!!
@jules
My mum and a computer…hah! She can’t even switch one on. She’s been watching twilight and new moon!!!!!!!! I told her about RM so she’s now waiting for the DVD release! Up until now she’s always been a big johnny depp fan – in fact JD’s been her No.1 squeeze for as long as I can remember. I think the Rob’s replaced Johnny 🙂
By: mine!mine!mine! on April 29, 2010
at 3:25 pm
Okay, Mine! As long as she does not google ROBERT PATTINSON (cf. RG’s warning of yesterday) she should be safe.
By: Jules on April 29, 2010
at 4:29 pm
Is there an initiation ritual? Either way, count me in!
By: pumagirlsf on April 29, 2010
at 4:28 pm
Puma, you’ve already been initiated. Say it, out loud.
By: Jules on April 29, 2010
at 5:01 pm
HAH! SWEET.
By: pumagirlsf on April 29, 2010
at 5:06 pm
Wait, wait, back up. MP, what do you mean “almost ex”? You’re not thinking of getting off the Rob drugs and going clean, are you?
By: The Old One on April 29, 2010
at 2:53 pm
yeah, MP- what’s this ‘almost ex’ thing???
By: drsaka on April 29, 2010
at 5:29 pm
Min hasn’t yet realised that almost doesn’t count.
By: Jules on April 29, 2010
at 6:03 pm
almost ex- doesn’t exist
By: drsaka on April 29, 2010
at 6:15 pm
I’m curious too. Is that even possible?
By: Rob's beanie on April 29, 2010
at 6:11 pm
Once the robsession has you, it doesn’t let go!
By: drsaka on April 29, 2010
at 6:16 pm
I think “robsession” is a bit like an alcoholism. There is no such thing as an ‘ex-alcoholic’ – you just learn how to control it/live with it, at least that’s what I’ve heard.
And there is no such thing as “ex-robsessed”, you just learn how to live with it!
By: Rob's beanie on April 29, 2010
at 6:44 pm
Truth.
By: The Old One on April 29, 2010
at 7:57 pm
truth, but unlike HHH, the booze is smth 1) u have lit’rally tasted (twss) 2) always grab-able. It’s the unacessibility of HHH that kinda makes the whole thing pointless.
Rob, you’re such a party breaker!
By: minuit passé on April 29, 2010
at 9:53 pm
Minuit, you’re just grouchy because he’s in my time zone instead of a few hours away from you right now!
By: The Old One on April 30, 2010
at 12:02 am
haha, maybe just maybe
By: minuit passé on April 30, 2010
at 2:08 pm
I found Rob after I married my Jacob and had three of his puppies…so I’m stuck at “The Rez”. I have since then started a blog and my Jacob has to look at my Rob wallpaper on our laptop everyday.
By: Mrs. P on April 29, 2010
at 9:23 am
“Jacobs” cannot win…
just look at that b/w pic……!!!!
By: robgirl86 on April 29, 2010
at 9:24 am
so it’s better to shut up!
By: robgirl86 on April 29, 2010
at 9:35 am
Amen sistah….
Ripped white shirt and the wild hair….jawporn, absolute win! Oh and his bicep is looking mighty good there too!
By: southernbelle on April 29, 2010
at 9:46 am
Yes, yes it is.
By: The Old One on April 29, 2010
at 2:54 pm
JACOBS can not win
WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for the day!!!!
I so heart u right now 🙂
By: misty on April 29, 2010
at 11:09 am
No pasaran!!!
By: Rob's beanie on April 29, 2010
at 6:14 pm
Dear Rocky,
I am in the EXACT SAME SITUATION. I want to hug you for writing this. Really.
I was actually thinking something like this the other night, whilst finishing up with a little Hockeyward: “how I should break it to the new guy that he will never be my #1 because let’s face it Rob it will always be you” That’s normal, right?
So, you are not alone. I am here with you. (Sorry, I REALLY didn’t want to quote that song, but it just came out [twss]).
I will see you at the Boston Convention.
Love,
me
By: Katie S on April 29, 2010
at 9:40 am
Who can measure up against Rob? I dare say, no one!
By: southernbelle on April 29, 2010
at 9:42 am
Preach!
By: Jules on April 29, 2010
at 11:03 am
SB,
All I saw was “up against Rob.”
Ok, where do I sign up?
kiss,
me
By: mountainlion on April 29, 2010
at 12:28 pm
Oh boy, LOL, ML….don’t get me started! 🙂
You, me and our sexual innuendos!!!! haha woot!
By: southernbelle on April 29, 2010
at 2:58 pm
Hold onto that hug until Boston then!
And yes Its normal!!! Or we are just in the crazy boat together and would that really be that bad?
I’m lovin the responses on here!
YES Jacobs CANNOT win…nor do they get porn without me getting Rob!
Rob and I are basically attached (TWSS) No way to get one without the other!
By: Rocky on April 29, 2010
at 12:49 pm
Katie S- you’re talking about the mid-July Cambridge Twilight convention?
By: drsaka on April 29, 2010
at 5:17 pm
Rocky, good luck on the dating scene, it’s tough, I know, I’ve been there. Wish we all just had a Rob.
I’m already married but it’s weird because I seem to be measuring everything now against Rob. It’s as if he’s become my standard, the measuring stick against other men.
FTR I named my robfiles “Daniel Gale.” I had to rename it. Robert Pattinson file or Robfile was so obvious.
By: southernbelle on April 29, 2010
at 9:40 am
lol @ naming your files “Daniel Gale”! I love it. My files are named “RobPorn”. Ah, the joys of being single. <3you
By: Katie S on April 29, 2010
at 9:45 am
KatieS, LOL, well maybe you can rename it a less obvious name? My husband doesn’t have a clue who Daniel Gale is so I thought it was perfect.
Enjoy your single life! Trust me once you’re married….well you’re just married! LOL. It’s all lovey dovey the 1st yr and it’s hell after that. LOL. Just kidding(slightly).
By: southernbelle on April 29, 2010
at 9:50 am
Mine are Rob Porn and Rob Porn 2. I needed the second one for pictures that were less hot (like that’s possible). Now RP2 is overtaking RP Original in the hot dept. Like I said… it’s unpossible for less hot!
By: Keisha on April 29, 2010
at 9:57 am
lol love the “Daniel Gale”…Mr. Pie knows I have a folder labeled “Rob” and sometimes he’ll use my laptop and I have to warn him not to touch that folder, which he then proceeds to threaten me by saying he’s gonna delete it. Mr. Pie is starting to use my robsession against me!
By: applepie on April 29, 2010
at 12:46 pm
Oh no Apple! We’ve got to find a weapon to use against Mr.Pie now!!!! Think of something!
Bad Mr. Pie! No one deletes the ROB!
By: southernbelle on April 29, 2010
at 3:01 pm
I name my newly created Robfile, HIM. That’s it, HIM.
Any Robgirl would recognise it instantly.
By: Jules on April 29, 2010
at 11:06 am
Perfect!
By: Katie S on April 29, 2010
at 11:11 am
Ofcourse they would Jules! Because it’s just HIM! Good one!
By: Cath on April 29, 2010
at 12:17 pm
Awesome, it’s just HIM, there’s no one else, absolutely no one!!!!
*sighing from giddiness*
By: southernbelle on April 29, 2010
at 3:00 pm
my Rob folder is named “awesomeness overload”. Simple and to the point.
By: Rob's beanie on April 29, 2010
at 6:20 pm
I have all of my RobPorn labeled “Credit Card Bills” because Mr. Puma NEVER looks there.
Not only does this allow for me to spend freely and easily cover my tracks, but it also allows for photo after photo of every body part of Rob to sit safely tucked away in a separate folder labeled “Target”.
By: pumagirlsf on April 29, 2010
at 12:12 pm
Ha! That’s perfect.
By: Katie S on April 29, 2010
at 12:18 pm
hahaha – Puma, I love “target”!
Rob is a target for so many ummm…things.
Nice avi of tatward.
By: Jules on April 29, 2010
at 12:19 pm
Yup, “Target” totally has it’s own meaning. Sad thing is, I don’t even HAVE a Target card.
By: pumagirlsf on April 29, 2010
at 12:21 pm
Target and Rob are both my Happy Places so I might steal this.
By: Keisha on April 29, 2010
at 2:38 pm
LOL, that’s great! Men can be so gullible sometimes!
If I labeled something credit card though, Mr. Belle would be checking it for sure! Then I’ll be in trouble, lol.
By: southernbelle on April 29, 2010
at 3:02 pm
Tucked? ; ))
By: Rob's beanie on April 29, 2010
at 6:22 pm
Finally someone noted the tucked reference! YAY Rob’s beanie 🙂
By: pumagirlsf on April 29, 2010
at 6:35 pm
I wouldnt be a Rob’s beanie if i havent noticed that, right?!
By: Rob's beanie on April 29, 2010
at 6:40 pm
And yeah, I know, I will go to hell for what my dirty mind is thinkin’ )))
By: Rob's beanie on April 29, 2010
at 6:46 pm
Dear Rocky and Girls
Wouldn’t your RL boy prefer that you lusted after an unattainable movie star than the man next door or a work colleague or (worst of all) one of the RL boys chums?
BarnesBoy11 is an enabler, and fully supports my obsession. He even quotes “Twilight” at me and has now started saying
“I guess it was just here to tease me”
BUT
it is NOT a new romance, not by any stretch of the imagination, so maybe a new RL boyf would not be so understanding……
Good Luck with what you decide
❤
🙂
By: @BarnesGirl11 on April 29, 2010
at 10:40 am
Unattainable??? I don’t know what you’re talking about!!!
By: Katie S on April 29, 2010
at 12:19 pm
Especially since we know BG11 has actually met Rob and we’ve seen and heard all about it!
By: The Old One on April 29, 2010
at 5:50 pm
I just love that artist on artist pic of Rob. Just something about him with anything in his mouth! twss
Anywhoo, Rocky don’t bring the man into it, trust! He doesn’t bring out his porn, so don’t bring out yours. Just let him find all your dirty little secrets out after the ring is on the finger!
Love the letter!
By: 3hboyshouse on April 29, 2010
at 11:07 am
anYthing in his mouth…
why did you say that?!?
*melting off chair
By: misty on April 29, 2010
at 11:10 am
“let him find all your dirty little secrets out after the ring is on the finger”
Too bad it works both ways. I didn’t know Mr. Snow was allergic folding laundry until after the honeymmoon.
By: snowwhitedrifted on April 29, 2010
at 12:53 pm
lol. SNW where have you disappeared to? I miss you on twitter.
By: applepie on April 29, 2010
at 1:31 pm
ooooh, weird. I just reply-tweeted to you!
By: snowwhitedrifted on April 29, 2010
at 2:01 pm
At least he isn’t allergic to the same thing Rob is..
You know lady bits.
By: 3hboyshouse on April 29, 2010
at 4:58 pm
Amen, put a ring on it! 🙂
By: southernbelle on April 29, 2010
at 3:05 pm
Someone should start a “finishing school” for guys to learn the ways of Rob-they’ll need it now that Rob has come along and set new (impossible high) standards for guys.
They need to learn how to dress, do their hair, not shave, play guitar, mumble…
By: dazzledtodeath on April 29, 2010
at 11:20 am
Ola! i’m back! Anyone missed me?
@Rocky:
I have just the same problem as you girl. Well kind of. Most of the guys I knew were ok with my Robsession which somehow freaked me out…
At some point one of my bf said that “That Rob dude did a pretty good job imo”.
How can I take someone serious if he says that in a “whos the better edward” discussion?
Seems like men are never right for me…
And btw I got a hate letter by either TammyO or her sister… Don’t know. Sounded like her anyway…
But I took the higher road and dedicated a post to her with lots of RobPorn… Cause thats how we handle it in TheColdShower 😉
By: Bleriana on April 29, 2010
at 12:09 pm
wow, I just went to your site to read your letter, and I had to close it because I’m at work (remember I’m a teacher) it’s very hot…I’ll read tonight…btw that sux about getting ahte mail….chin up! At least your noticed!
By: misty on April 29, 2010
at 12:43 pm
…and that was only half of it. But I only used the one’s I could answer with RobPorn… 😉
By: Bleriana on April 29, 2010
at 1:52 pm
A guy ask me to try out serious relationship with him. I turned him down because really what’s the point . I’m still looking for someone like Rob or half a man than Rob. THAT’S NORMAL 😉
By: niahid on April 29, 2010
at 12:16 pm
A very smart someone once wrote here: Rob is everything I never knew I wanted in a man.
I forgot who it was, but it’s so true. Can the author reveal herself again please. She’s going to the Rob (comments) Hall of Fame.
And yes, niahid, that’s normal. Because after Rob, no one is ever good enough. Ok, Maybe TomStu.
By: JellybeanRainbow on April 29, 2010
at 3:00 pm
I lost my Edward, found The Rob, and am not quite sure yet about wanting a Jakob.
To quote the great wise Rob:
Life is weird! 😉
By: Cath on April 29, 2010
at 12:20 pm
He said that? Wow I missed it! Do tell!
By: southernbelle on April 29, 2010
at 3:11 pm
and change the “jaw porn” folder on my computer to “boring tax return info” to hide my pictures of you.
Too funny, I have my “personal docs” saved as a file called, well, “house and kid photos”
By: snowwhitedrifted on April 29, 2010
at 12:22 pm
Dear Rob,
In the first photo you look like a little kid sippin’ a coke…waiting your turn in a whore house?
What up?
love,
lion
p.s. I know RG will tell me the exact date of the photo, what pants you wore and location of said photo.
By: mountainlion on April 29, 2010
at 12:34 pm
lol! lmfao! lol!
+1
By: misty on April 29, 2010
at 12:45 pm
p.s. I quit smoking…when I see Rob smoking I want a smoke real bad!!!!
By: misty on April 29, 2010
at 12:46 pm
Me, too, Misty, me, too!!!
By: mountainlion on April 29, 2010
at 12:48 pm
Lion, I loved that first sentence of your comment so much, I tweeted it. heh
By: Jules on April 29, 2010
at 2:57 pm
I don’t know time/ date specs, but I’m pretty sure it’s being taken at the same time as the Myspace artist/artist interview with Hayley Williams.
By: Goodgirlgoneplaid on April 29, 2010
at 12:56 pm
Zomg! This is why I keep myself in the back of the closet.
By: Goodgirlgoneplaid on April 29, 2010
at 12:58 pm
Thanks GGGP…I figured it was the Hayley thing, but it still looks like a whore house.
xo
lion
By: mountainlion on April 29, 2010
at 1:01 pm
Oh I posted before I read your comments.
By: southernbelle on April 29, 2010
at 3:08 pm
hahahahahahahah….you nailed it honi!!!and what can I say? GGGP said it already…lol..another (Rob)nerd 🙂
By: robgirl86 on April 29, 2010
at 1:02 pm
I think the Coke pic is the first Rob pic I ever saved.
Rob – are you even sucking? It’s still full (That’s what _____ Said)
By: Keisha on April 29, 2010
at 2:50 pm
That was from a myspace interview with Haley Williams(Paramore), sometimes fall 2008 ;-), sorry I don’t know the exact date!
By: southernbelle on April 29, 2010
at 3:07 pm
They serve “Jack(off) & Coke” at that whorehouse.
By: snowwhitedrifted on April 29, 2010
at 12:59 pm
@ snowwhitedrifted ~ LOLOL Best Post Ever.
By: pumagirlsf on April 29, 2010
at 1:03 pm
Oopsie, that was for Mountain Lion’s “Coke in Whorehouse” comment. I didn’t mean to taint the main comment section with masterbatory references. 😉
By: snowwhitedrifted on April 29, 2010
at 1:13 pm
you made me spit coffee all over my screen.
By: applepie on April 29, 2010
at 1:32 pm
That’s awesomesauce, Snow…
By: mountainlion on April 29, 2010
at 3:09 pm
I’m going out to see 100 Monkeys in Providence tonight. I am so in the mood for a Jackoff & Coke now. I will order it in your honor, snowwhitedrifted!
By: Katie S on April 29, 2010
at 1:23 pm
OMG, LOL…..I am lost for words, in a good way! What you said just reminded me of something really, ummmm, naughty.
By: southernbelle on April 29, 2010
at 3:18 pm
Spill! You’re among “sisters-in-Rob” to quote Jules above 🙂
By: Keisha on April 29, 2010
at 3:39 pm
There are so many dirty responses I can come up with for ordering a Jackoff & Coke that I will not even post one of them.
By: pumagirlsf on April 29, 2010
at 1:26 pm
Why not?! We’re all adults here! Not mature adults, but adults none-the-less.
By: Katie S on April 29, 2010
at 2:17 pm
Hahah, yes not all of us are “mature adults!” LOL
Go on and say it puma…or tweet it instead!
By: southernbelle on April 29, 2010
at 3:09 pm
Okayyyy… you asked for it. Thumbs down for crudeness is expected.
Ad slogans cumming soon to a RobPorn Bar near you:
Jackoff & Coke – now with more protein!
Jackoff & Coke – the cream floats to the top!
Jackoff & Coke – because pineapple DOESN’T WORK.
Jackoff & Coke – because it tastes better than Jaeger (barely).
By: pumagirlsf on April 29, 2010
at 3:18 pm
I ❤ U!
Thank you for going there!
By: snowwhitedrifted on April 29, 2010
at 3:31 pm
Heh, well – I see a line and my smutty mind and I stomp right across it sometimes.
In my company we have a “Protein Engineering” department and I always think of that being a hooker’s professional title, if it were on a resume. Then I giggle and immediately remind myself that I am not a 15 year old.
By: pumagirlsf on April 29, 2010
at 4:00 pm
LOL! Oh god… coke laughed through my nose hurts.
By: Katie S on April 29, 2010
at 4:06 pm
@ Katie S – JUST COKE, RIGHT? No additional ingredients there? 😀
By: pumagirlsf on April 29, 2010
at 4:09 pm
you are so full of win today! *slow claps*
By: applepie on April 29, 2010
at 4:45 pm
Filthy McPuma. ILY.
By: Jules on April 29, 2010
at 5:08 pm
LOLZ I may make that my new screenname.
By: pumagirlsf on April 29, 2010
at 5:15 pm
Yes puma I asked for it!!!!! LOL, awesome!
Btw I saw a puma yesterday at the zoo…just thought you’d know!
By: southernbelle on April 29, 2010
at 6:09 pm
Because my mood is still like yesterdays black screen… I prefered to “listen” today…instead of “speak”… but sisters…….I am sorry to say…
Men have pics of WOMEN (in prulal) on their computers… yeah…mostly halfnaked…and it’s mostly about sex… or just lovin to look at some pretty faces/bodies….no feelings involved here…….
Women have pics of just ONE MAN on their computer… and that’s not even the worse….they have THIS MAN… in their hearts and minds…and have feelings for HIM that would make any men jealous as hell….
So girls………sorry…….but we are in very deep shit…excuse my language….and our bfs/hubs…know it!!!
By: melronin on April 29, 2010
at 3:23 pm
Hi Mel!
Glad you are here today..
xoxox
lion
By: mountainlion on April 29, 2010
at 5:13 pm
Hi Mel
I totally missed u here today!
❤
By: robgirl86 on April 29, 2010
at 6:07 pm
Good evening mel! XOXO
By: southernbelle on April 29, 2010
at 6:10 pm
Hey Gals did we all note the BBJ made an appearance @ Vancouver Airport?
I’m so thrilled to recognise an article of clothing!
fan girl WIN!
although i’m probably late in mentioning it
and has anyone else wondered what they are going to do with Robs long hair? get him a fresh Edward cut?
oh thank god i’ve got a safe place to share these thoughts. and have you all think THATS NORMAL and actually understand what i mean. xox
By: MsLiss on April 29, 2010
at 8:11 pm
Since they’re re-shooting for Eclipse, they will have to try to make his hair look as much as possible as it did last summer/fall during the original shooting. Maybe they could tweak the makeup too and get rid of that “dipped-in-flour” look. Please?
By: The Old One on April 29, 2010
at 8:51 pm
It’s my first comment after reading this site for months now and I finally decided to say something. I am dating someone again after a year of not speaking and I slowly started to talk about my new appreciation for Twilight…and now its come out that I have a certain appreciation for “Rob Patterson” as he likes to call Rob. He wanted me to “choose” between him and Rob because he couldnt understand how I could like such a “tool” . Doesnt he know Rob will always be first now?!?
By: dmbness on April 30, 2010
at 1:43 am
well obviously that dude is a tool calling someone he’s never met a tool. LAME.
By: themoonisdown on April 30, 2010
at 2:56 am