Firstly, I have to say that you’ve been making my work life quite unproductive lately what with all your Bel Ami set pictures and videos coming out every day. But today as I was going about my usual business, I happened to be stopping by the mall later today to do some credit card swiping so I decided to give my dearest boyfriend (shall we call him Mr. Pie) a text asking if he needed anything in particular. He then texted me back asking me to pick up a couple v-necks for him at H&M since he was in need of replacing some old ones. Now when I saw the word “v-neck”, the first thing I thought was “Rob’s black v-neck! In Eclipse! OMG he looks so hot as Robward in Eclipse with that black v-neck on!” you know…because that’s normal. And then it hit me.
Rob, I think I’m inadvertently transforming my boyfriend into…YOU! Observe…
Exhibit A: The black v-neck…looks great on you, but even better on my floor.
Exhibit B: Button-fly jeans…Rob, what brand of button-fly jeans do you wear? Because if they are Lucky Brands, can I unbutton them to see if yours also says “lucky you” on the inside of the fly like Mr. Pie’s?
It’d be quite awkward to have actually taken a picture of Mr. Pie’s jeans while he was wearing them…moving on…
Exhibit C: Ray-Bans… every Rob fan should own a pair.
Exhibit D: Adidas Sambas…apparently you’ve recently changed from your Nikes to Adidas so I blame you for copying Mr. Pie on this one. (Hi Tom!)
Exhibit E: White undershirts…everywhere and all the time, even when sitting in a press interview.
Exhibit F: Fruit of the Loom boxer briefs…which you probably bought at the same place you bought your white undershirts. Walmart or Mark & Spencers when you’re in London?
Lots of nice rob crotch shots today…yum.
Exhibit G: Plaid. No description needed.
Exhibit H: Guitar. The only thing you’ve spent your millions of Twilight money on since you’ve become famous and the only thing Mr. Pie has spent his money on since he’s gotten a job.
So Rob, it seems that ever since you’ve taken over my life, I’ve been unknowingly channeling my inner desires for you through my boyfriend. Because seriously, I live in LA and you’re here a lot and I have yet to see you in flesh. Even if I did, let’s face it, you’re too distracted by the mullephant nowadays to care about the rest of us girls who’d graciously undo those button-flys for you. So my subconscious solution: make my own Rob! You see, Mr. Pie has a habit of only shopping when I’m around and only buys things after asking me for my approval. I guess that would explain why Mr. Pie’s wardrobe is slowly becoming more and more like yours. Plaid shirt? Yes. Button-fly jeans? Yes. K-Swiss sneakers? Noooo. Blue V-neck or Black V-neck? Black! Always BLACK! Plus, I sometimes even get to play “what would it be like to undress Rob?”
I do have one confession though. No matter what, Mr. Pie could never possess the jawporn/handporn/weakatthekneessmileandgiggle/wonkylegs …uh…fame… that you have. I did NOT just say that! =X
Oh and did I mention, Mr. Pie’s refrigerator contains a box of Hot Pockets and is always stocked with beer…but neither of which are due to my influence.
Here’s to Mr. Pie never ever seeing this! (I love you babe =])
You’ve made me delusional,
Ok, so I treat my boyfriend like he’s a real life Ken doll and dress him up like Rob..is that normal?
Applepie (cutest name ever), I don’t think you’re alone! I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t encouraged Mr. Choice to put on a few more flannel shirts than normal lately (although- I tried to get him to wear my knock-off Ray-Bans and he said, “No.. those are for teenagers.” HA!) What about the rest of you? Fess up! Have you swayed your man in the direction of more Rob-like!?