a
Dear Kristen,
It’s your birthday and Rob wanted to get you something special. Of course he was too busy, so he sent us out to get you this following list of items. Oh, and this Rob porn above was made especially for you… shhhh don’t show Oregano.
a
Happiest of Birthdays,
Moon and UC (on behalf of Rob)
Moon and UC (on behalf of Rob)
a
Gifts for Kristen’s 16, 37 uhhhh 19? Birthday
- Screening of Little Ashes hosted by myself in Dali wig & ‘stach, giving special commentary whilst doing THE TUCK
- Three shots of whiskey (for her first drink ever, since the legal drinking age in Canada is 19) followed by a “special hug” with a special smoke (while D’Angelo plays in the background.)
- Couples massage… (call to make sure NReed is avails)
- Signed Rob Porn (above) sent to Kristen c/o Oregano’s address. (heh heh, that should get him)
- Two MORE nights that are… “productive“
- Navy knit cap, just like mine
- 2 more weeks of California time for Michael Oregano and Nikki Reed. (This will help ensure two more productive nights as mentioned above)
- Gift basket (shrink wrapped to ensure freshness) including new bong and “smokables,” brownies, and gift card to IHop
- Private performance of Kings of Leon’s “Soft” covered by yours truly. Please print out a lyric sheet highlighting the following:
I’m passed out in your gardenI’m in I can’t get off so soft
I’d pop myself in your bodyI’d come into your party, but I’m softa
- (This gift’s more for me) Some sort of memory machine/time changer so I can forget the things I’ve done with a girl born in 1990. Never mind that she’s legal and I’m only 3+ years older than her, I still feel like Chris Hansen is gonna show up any day with Dateline NBC…
BIG thanks to JBell for the b-day reminder and The Quad for the help. And to Michael Oregano… cuz we think you might need a hug today… 😦
Letters to Rob 
Hey ladies,
Long time lurker, first time commenter here. 😛
Just wanted to let you know I got distracted by the RobPorn and almost forgot to read the letter, hehe. Zomg would you look at those arms…
Isn’t Rob so thoughtful with his gift giving?
By: Leslee on April 9, 2009
at 5:10 am
Rob is incredibly thoughtful. Moon hit that Rob Porn outta the park today! Thanks for coming out of lurdom to say hi! HUGS
By: unintendedchoice on April 9, 2009
at 8:13 am
Welcome to Leslee!
By: Jena on April 9, 2009
at 10:59 am
hi leslee!! thanks for the comment, making that RP i about died. so great.
and glad you came outta lurkdom! welcome!
By: themoonisdown on April 9, 2009
at 2:29 pm
Yay!!! I’m the first post on KStew’s big day – legal drinking age in Canada. Good to know she wasn’t actually drunk in that cab this weekend with RP.
Of course, why am I the first post? It is because I was one of the last posts from yesterday and hopped over here to see just how many posts we had. Well over 1200!! Is that a record?
UC/Moon – what can I say? You leave me in complete and utter awe of your wit and humour (spelled in a british way in honor of our british boy)! Drinks on me today in honour (also british I think) of KStew, the one and only teenager I am completely jealous of and for all the right reasons.
Happy Birthday!
By: byrdie on April 9, 2009
at 5:10 am
Hi Byrdie – do you ever sleep? Looks like you were one of the last on here and one of the first back on? Where are you based or are you off on your travels at the mo? Hang on, you’re a vampire really aren’t you – no sleep necessary? I am def. a nighttime person, hate getting up early. My husband is one of those who wakes up and jumps straight out of bed, and as he works in a timezone which is an hour different to the UK it means he wakes up at 5.30am UK time at the weekends when he is home. Groan. He knows better than to wake me then …
Had a quick flick through last nights late late chats – such a shame I’m not up then, but I do need to get some sleep – last night went to bed at 2am UK time as it was. Downside was I turned my alarm off at 7.30am almost in my sleep and got woken up at 9.30 by the cleaning lady arriving. All 3 of us, teenage son and daughter emerged sleepy eyed from bedrooms. Very very very embarassing. I feel like a very bad person. Needless to say, I can only be this lazy and indulgent when I am not working properly, but I’ve got a few weeks of not too much on presently.
By: English Girl on April 9, 2009
at 9:00 am
byrdie, that MIGHt be a record.. there’s no easy way to see besides go to each post that “might” compete with it…
after we have a forum are we gonna go back to like 12 comments? !
By: unintendedchoice on April 9, 2009
at 10:00 am
Nah. People will be able to run their mouths about all things Twilight all the time on your cleverly run site. It might cut down on sidebars, but we’ll always be back to comment the silly snarkastic witicisms that are uniquely yours and Moon’s.
By: '86 Rabbit on April 10, 2009
at 4:26 am
Bawahahaha!!!! omg UC and moon!!!!! You two are sooo hysterical! I’m laughing like crazy down here! You got me at bong and smokables!!! LOL !!
By: Sherin on April 9, 2009
at 5:26 am
Yay!!! happy birthday kirsten!!!!!!! And at byrdie * waves* hi!!!!!! I was also reading up on the reunion part from last night, missed that one * cries* and wow the lADies were on the roll, took me two hours to read all the posts!!!!
By: Sherin on April 9, 2009
at 5:38 am
TWO HOURS! wow.. committment!
By: unintendedchoice on April 9, 2009
at 10:00 am
So it’s Kristen’s birthday, huh!? How come I would have totally forget about that one if you didn’t remind me? And I’m not sure if I wanted to be reminded 😉
By: junsikat on April 9, 2009
at 5:57 am
Forgot to mention that I’m curious if we get to know what Rob REALLY gave her for today…
By: junsikat on April 9, 2009
at 5:58 am
i’m thinking its, unfortunately, gonna be along the lines of those productive nights….
By: unintendedchoice on April 9, 2009
at 10:01 am
Lalalalala *covers ears and eyes*
Please, UC, stop it, my jealous heart can’t handle that 😀
By: junsikat on April 9, 2009
at 1:16 pm
I am curious too junsikat 🙂
But then I am curious about everthing Rob-related……
Happy Birthday Kristen 🙂
Hope you have fun…….
PS Surely MO will be WITH KS?
By: SummerGirl on April 9, 2009
at 7:00 am
SURELY!!! (*hopeful*)
By: junsikat on April 9, 2009
at 7:06 am
Is the legal drinking age really 19 in Canada?
*wonders why they picked 19?*
By: SummerGirl on April 9, 2009
at 7:06 am
i think so… my husband remembers going to canada @ at 19 for drinking…. i dind’t look it up though.. cuz it would ruin my ideas for this and LTT 🙂
By: unintendedchoice on April 9, 2009
at 10:02 am
It’s 18 here in Alberta (Roberta)! Depends on the province.
By: Genevieve on April 9, 2009
at 12:36 pm
OMG! For one moment I thought my secret was discovered:
“Are you thinking of me when you’re with him?” “No?”
But then I realize that it’s probably not ‘a secret’ anymore.
So
Happy Bday KStew!!
xox
By: Giseli on April 9, 2009
at 7:35 am
LMAO “Busted, Giseli!!! Yes. we’re talking about you! YOU! YOU!” MUAHAHA LOL
By: Dany on April 9, 2009
at 8:11 am
I know… and then I realize that is not my b-day… LOL
Anyway, a girl can dream… hehehe
xoxo
By: Giseli on April 9, 2009
at 8:59 am
haha so cute!
By: unintendedchoice on April 9, 2009
at 10:02 am
also.. is that you on your gravatar? b/c if so you look like kelly clarkson
By: unintendedchoice on April 9, 2009
at 10:02 am
Yeah, it’s me! My ego said that Earth is really blue! LOL
I wish I could have that kind of body too… hehehe
xoxo
By: Giseli on April 9, 2009
at 1:02 pm
You guys may have seen this already, but: http://twilight-gossip.com/exclusives/2009/04/08/exclusive-robert-pattinson-spotted-at-fork-high/
Someone spotted Rob on set!
By: limeslice on April 9, 2009
at 7:50 am
ome I have no idea WHY but I LOVE this pic…it is just sooooo ROB lol
By: TWILIGHTED on April 9, 2009
at 8:51 am
I love the sheepish little grin like “damn, they’ve caught me…might as well make them all swoon” *ching*
M
By: myria101 on April 9, 2009
at 10:03 am
Great bday post, UC and Moon! on LTT as well, what a great start to the day 🙂 Thank you
By: limeslice on April 9, 2009
at 7:56 am
Hey girls!!! Good morning!
@limeslice: I hadn’t seen that one! thanks!
@UC and Moon: It’s a great birthday post!!! But I gotta be honest with you, if you’d posted that pic only, and wrote the rest in Chinese I’d still be thinking it’s the best post in the story of freaking internet LMAO
By: Dany on April 9, 2009
at 8:15 am
haha.. i know.. that picture…. what moon wrote… amazingness
By: unintendedchoice on April 9, 2009
at 10:03 am
~~~~~~~~~Happy Birthday, KStew~~~~~~~~
@UC and Moon
LOVE today’s post, that picture, ok let’s just say it’s gonna be a long time for me at work today thinking about that! Luckily I only work until 12:30 PM EST, but that is still gonna be long…I love you both!
“Signed Rob Porn (above) sent to Kristen c/o Oregano’s address. (heh heh, that should get him)” —-Love your evilness heh heh!
@Melissa and Calliope
Lookin’ forward to celebrating KStew with you when I get back.
@Byrdie
Dude, did you stay up all night?! Get some shut eye!
@Sherin
Missed posting with you last night.
@ls (limeslice)…you are now ls for short…
Great find on the picture this AM! Look at that smile on HHH, he is so freakin’ (my morning language) beautiful. He is so turning into Bella from Wide Awake fan fic though, I just want to rip that friggin’ hood off his beautiful head!
Hi everyone else! *waves* Gotta get to work.Bye!
Dear Rob
You are too beautiful to cover yourself up like that. Pull that hood off your sexy head and let all your glory shine out! You are loved. You are perfect. You are holy and a god. And I want to have your baby. Well, at least I want to practice for that…a lot.
Love,
SpunkMe
XXX
By: SpunkMe on April 9, 2009
at 8:23 am
Hi there – I see I’m not the only one worrying about Byrdie getting some sleep.
Loved the final bit of your post. I’ll second all that. But no I don’t want to have any more babies, ever ever ever. But very happy to join the practice schedule if you’d like to write one up. We mustn’t exhaust him too much.
By: English Girl on April 9, 2009
at 9:05 am
Awesome Post guys, nothing funny to say, again, am left brained.
@SpunkMe – loved your video, yesterday!
@Calliope I sure hope there are some knew captioning photos around today.
Talk later, back to the mondane.
By: Janetrigs on April 9, 2009
at 8:29 am
happy bday to my homie, kstew! im watching the cake eaters today and smokin some ganga in ur honor. and HA HA @ the robporn..sooo amazing.
By: Melissa on April 9, 2009
at 8:30 am
Happy Birthday SourP…ehm, KStew!
Moon/UC: how thoughtful of you to help Rob out on this “special” occasion…
May I have a fangirl moment?
SQUEE! SQUEE! SQUEE! SQUEE! SQUEE! SQUEE!
I just got my copy of GQ!!! RobQ proudly displayed on my desk at work!!
WARNING: no work will be done henceforth!!!
SQUEE! SQUEE! SQUEE! SQUEE! SQUEE! SQUEE!
By: Monica on April 9, 2009
at 8:30 am
About that GQ – did sales sky rocket?
Anyone know….?
By: SummerGirl on April 9, 2009
at 9:56 am
can i have the shrink wrapped gift basket instead?
By: trixi on April 9, 2009
at 8:30 am
haha.. yes
and i’ll take a shrink wrapped rob
By: unintendedchoice on April 9, 2009
at 10:04 am
And actually:
*waves* to everyone – a wonderful day to all of you
*welcome* to Leslee, limeslice and the other newbies!
re RobPorn above: just fell of my chair this morning when I saw this. I posted it to the LTR Facebook group, this pic is my brand of Rob…hot and damned!!
By: Monica on April 9, 2009
at 8:32 am
@limeslice
I love that candid pic of Rob because he looks like he is totally laughing at anyone wanting his picture. He still doesn’t GET it!
And I also like that he put down his window so that the fans could get a shot – still humble, still considerate of the fans…still OUR Rob! That’s why we love him..that and oh, the Rob Porn from today…I still don’t get it – how was THAT picture an OUTTAKE?
By: chinamother on April 9, 2009
at 8:33 am
toadly agree, Rob rocks! The Outtake also rocks!
By: Janetrigs on April 9, 2009
at 8:37 am
@chinamother: re OUTTAKE: you really have put your finger on the crux of the matter. it seems that all gorgeous pics of rob are outtakes!!! not that the ones that make it to the press are not worthy, how could they? But the hottest, mind-boggling, heartbreakingly beautiful and utterly breathtaking ones….ARE ALL OUTTAKES!!!
Can anyone please appease my soul and tell me why? How does it do it?
By: Monica on April 9, 2009
at 8:38 am
I don’t know either, but it is driving me absolutely bloody crazy.
I keep looking at his shoulders and chest in todays robporn (not really had such a good shot of them before out of a sleeved shirt have we?) and salivating. And it’s not because he’s super toned (just a little toned), thank god he’s not ripped like kellan or Taylor because I absolutely hate ripped, waxed men, he is just ………….. gorgeous. Someone please shoot me. I must stop looking at that photo as I need to get a few things done …
By: English Girl on April 9, 2009
at 9:12 am
@English Girl…put down the RobPorn and step away from the computer..Do it..do it now. Kids need a feedin! Clothes need a washin! haha Hope that helped..that was my best attempt at not being an enabler lol
Brummielover
By: TWILIGHTED on April 9, 2009
at 10:29 am
I know I know … *hangs head in shame*
Thank you for being a friend ….
By: English Girl on April 9, 2009
at 11:11 am
Well just to show my level of friendship..true blue. I will “browse” through all the new Rob pics..just so you know..well cause thats the kindof friend I am tee hee
By: twilighted on April 9, 2009
at 12:01 pm
@chinamother: re OUTTAKE: you really have put your finger on the crux of the matter. it seems that all gorgeous pics of rob are outtakes!!! not that the ones that make it to the press are not worthy, how could they? But the hottest, mind-boggling, heartbreakingly beautiful and utterly breathtaking ones….ARE ALL OUTTAKES!!!
Can anyone please appease my soul and tell me why? How does he do it?
By: Monica on April 9, 2009
at 8:38 am
Sorry for the double post!
By: Monica on April 9, 2009
at 8:39 am
I loved today’s post! But of course, I think I am completely in the minority here when I say that I actually like Kstew. Sorry! She just seems totally not into ‘fame’ and just wants to do her thing. Some of her earlier interviews for Twilight show a much more relaxed girl than the one after all of the hoopla started. I think she’s just young.
I still haven’t decided yet whether I think she and Rob did the dirty deed or not…I can see it both ways….Ted Casablanca has been hinting for weeks that Rob and Kstew have been major flirting but Rob won’t continue on until Kstews relationship status with Ospice is finito. If that’s true, that makes me like Rob even more…he doesn’t want to be a homewrecker!
By: chinamother on April 9, 2009
at 8:44 am
How would Ted C know? Does he claim to have a source on the inside?
I had my hand on my hubby’s robust butt last night and had an epiphany. I met my hubby when I was very young – still a teenager – so I’ve done the whole friends-with-guys-while-in-a-committed-relationship thing a LOT over the years. I’ve even had guy friends with which I’ve had a lot of chemistry (all denied for the sake of my relationship with hubby of course). Now, granted, I’ve never been in a position where it was my job to make out with said guy friend, but I just can’t see ever being in a position where it was “normal” for one of my guy friends to call my butt robust. Why would he know my butt was robust unless he’d touched it a lot?
So, on that flimsy premise, I’m coming over to the dark side completely. He’s tapped that ass. Or at least rubbed the booty – a lot.
By: WastingTheMorning on April 9, 2009
at 9:02 am
LOL! “So, on that flimsy premise, I’m coming over to the dark side completely. He’s tapped that ass. Or at least rubbed the booty – a lot”.
I have to agree with you and since I too have been in the same relationship since I was a teen I totally see what you mean…and you having this epiphany while handling your hubs robust butt makes it even more obvious that you are right.
By: vickyb on April 9, 2009
at 12:12 pm
don’t apologize for liking her! you can think and say whatever you want (as long as it agrees with ME) jk 🙂 that’s why we love everywhere here.. we all respect our differing opinions…
now if you say anything back about Rob… well, then.. get the hell out! 🙂
LOVES
By: unintendedchoice on April 9, 2009
at 10:39 am
@UC haha yea anything about Rob.. then….. GET TO STEPPIN!
By: twilighted on April 9, 2009
at 12:03 pm
woah i was just reading some comments at ted casablancas blog and there are some conspiratorial people out there..talkin bout mormon cover-ups and paid off paparazzi..its too early for all that! ha ha.
By: Melissa on April 9, 2009
at 9:01 am
Oh – some of those people on Ted C’s blog are hard core. While we speculate here all in the name of fun – some of the people there are SERIOUSLY and PERSONALLY offended at the idea of Rob with Kstew, and then others who are SERIOUSLY ANGRY at anyone who questions that they have been together. To take off on the post from yesterday here at LTR, they take themselves WAY too seriously! That’s why I like it here…I said I like Kstew and even though some people probably threw up a little in their mouths, no one has sworn at me (yet!) or told me to get a life or written to me in all CAPS! We are relatively sane here, I think 🙂
By: chinamother on April 9, 2009
at 9:09 am
no worries, spunkme and i are kstews number one fans here..”all are welcome all are welcome” LOL
By: Melissa on April 9, 2009
at 9:15 am
Relatively. Sane that is.
Well I was until about, er 4 months ago.
I am beginning to doubt it now!
x
By: English Girl on April 9, 2009
at 9:25 am
RELATIVELY= yEA thats us lol
“in comparison to other comparable twilighters”
“in contrast to other contrastable twilight moments”
“in relation to other related twilight events”
“with reference to other elements of similar items” ie TWILIGHT
“not by an absolute qualification”
“in comparison/constrast”
By: TWILIGHTED on April 9, 2009
at 10:39 am
The Tuck recreated, D’Angelo, Kings of Leon, a gift basket, MORE productive nights, and a new navy knit cap? Best Birthday Ever.
Nineteen is so gonna be her year.
I’d buy her a round of Buttery Nipple shots (in honor of the nipple mention in “Soft”) but that would only lead to a hangover–and puffy eyes. So non-Bellaesque. Instead I’ll gift her with champagne. She needs bubbles in her life, of course.
By: Leigh Anne on April 9, 2009
at 9:04 am
i ❤ bubbles
By: unintendedchoice on April 9, 2009
at 10:43 am
Did anyone see Criminal Minds last night with Jackson Rathbone? He makes a disturbingly attractive woman. I wonder if he and Rob compared notes on how to “TUCK”?
By: Briar Rose on April 9, 2009
at 9:08 am
Hah I did see it, and thought I saw some Jasper-esque “thirsty” looks in there as well.
By: limeslice on April 9, 2009
at 9:10 am
this is what i’ve heard from a coworker! i gotta check out jacksper the woman!
By: themoonisdown on April 9, 2009
at 4:26 pm
Whew just got to work. Glad everyone liked that sneaky shot of Rob, he looks so sweet and goofy heh. I found this last night and lit’rally loled to myself, I thought it was rather fitting:
By: limeslice on April 9, 2009
at 9:09 am
Love it limeslice. i should print it out, laminate it and stick it on my screen.
But I think my other half might wonder what i am up to.
By: English Girl on April 9, 2009
at 9:15 am
Ha the boyf actually found this on a blog he likes – I saw it over his shoulder and casually asked him to send it to me while holding in my glee – hope he didn’t get too curious
By: limeslice on April 9, 2009
at 9:17 am
lol! Excellent.
By: Annie on April 9, 2009
at 9:17 am
@byrdie – r u there? Did you get your Twilight decaf coffee this morning?
By: WastingTheMorning on April 9, 2009
at 9:09 am
P.s. Thanks for all the welcomes!! Also I’m totally down with the ls nickname
By: limeslice on April 9, 2009
at 9:14 am
I’m off to study, talk to some of you when I get back at night.
Hugs!
By: Dany on April 9, 2009
at 9:21 am
Bye! Have a good day in the real world 🙂
By: limeslice on April 9, 2009
at 9:22 am
@byrdie: Check your email!! lol
By: Dany on April 9, 2009
at 9:22 am
OK, even though I’m not the hugest KStew fan, I have to wish her happy birthday too. I don’t wish her quite all the presents listed above that some do … but that’s just me. Projection people is all I’m gonna say. Projection. Don’t see the Robsten stuff at all … just my opinion of course. Hope she has a lovely day with spicerack – he seems dependable and solid enough to fit her character.
As I watched Twilight again for the first time since New Year yesterday (DVD only just available in the UK) it made me appreciate her a bit more. I do think she fits my idea of Bella quite well, even if I’m not super keen on the stuttering stuff.
By: English Girl on April 9, 2009
at 9:22 am
Ok..not stalking you I swear lol…you just keep saying stuff that makes me wanna respond lol
Anyways…”prepares to speak, Looks for escape route”
I think Kristen is a perfect Bella…always have from day one. BUT everyone who read the book..had a diff pic in their head as to what she should be..Kristen just happend to fit mine.
Thats right I said it and I ain’t skeeeered haha well maybe a little 😉
By: twilighted on April 9, 2009
at 12:08 pm
Rob porn! Yes, Rob I so am, and he should just shut up and enjoy it.
So because I never paid any attention to anything about him except on LTR, I thought his name was really Oregano until yesterday.
By: Annie on April 9, 2009
at 9:23 am
lol brilliant
By: limeslice on April 9, 2009
at 9:26 am
Oh, god, hilarious!
Poor oregano / spice rack
he must feel like the most cuckolded man in the United States at present.
By: English Girl on April 9, 2009
at 9:26 am
Wait- it’s NOT Oregano? Oops. ^^;
By: Twitchlet on April 9, 2009
at 11:10 pm
Good morning…
right-click-save
RobPorn & coffee, what a way to start the day.
Tried to catch up on yesterday=fail.
Few notes…
@MJ the PattinPervs over at twilighted.net loved your so hot video. I have to watch your new vid today ❤
@SpunkMe Can you link me to your vid I haven’t seen it. Still working on the audio clips, RL in way lately.
I’m working on new vid yeah using a cool retro song that of course is pervy ;-P
To the married ladies out there , I went hardcore on my post yesterday…and blushed the whole time I wrote it. I think it’s pretty accurate though…you tell me ❤
By: Just a Girl on April 9, 2009
at 9:29 am
Oooh ooh! Something for the married ladies. I’ll be right back.
By: WastingTheMorning on April 9, 2009
at 9:35 am
That was freaking awesome! I love it — sooo true (as stated in my letter to Rob yesterday)! “Don’t look a gift whore in the mouth”. That was brilliant.
My hubby asked me the other day if I was having an affair or something cuz I had all these new moves. I just said “it’s the fan fiction, honey”. Now he doesn’t ask any questions when I chose the computer over snuggling in front of the TV.
By: WastingTheMorning on April 9, 2009
at 9:41 am
I just bookmarked you.
By: Annie on April 9, 2009
at 9:56 am
Oh no, do I have to trawl through 1000+ posts to find it JAG? What time roughly?
By: English Girl on April 9, 2009
at 9:56 am
Oh no I don’t post that often LOL first one on the page.
By: Just a Girl on April 9, 2009
at 10:00 am
Just thought to visit your blog and found it.
Had a huge laugh, a flushed blush, a warm fuzzy moment …. and agreed with all that.
Especially the bit about not interrupting us girlies at our pc’s ….
JAG – you just said it like it was. SAY IT OUT LOUD. And you did. What a wonderous man he is.
By: English Girl on April 9, 2009
at 10:00 am
@JAG – I saw the post on your blog yesterday. I was lit’rally laughing out loud when I saw “the magazine cover”. My DH thinks I’m crazy but on the other hand is happy because I laugh all the time!
As Rob/Dali would say:”Bravo! Bravo! Superb!”
By: HOT4ROB on April 9, 2009
at 1:42 pm
This is a very special day for me. It’s a very special birthday!
For my daughter. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to HER!
oh yeah, and I guess you too Kristen.
Somehow I don’t think my gifts of a bubble rocket and crayola products will please you. Sorry, I quit buying weed YEARS ago so I can’t send you a gift.
By: therealrobzilla on April 9, 2009
at 9:35 am
Morning Ladies!!!
UGH!!! Am reading post from last night. No more drinking and posting for me. 😉
I think Rob might also let KStew have his Robnana. They are going to making Robnana splits all night long.
I am still not on team RobStew but will let her have Rob on her birthday.
By: Carrie on April 9, 2009
at 9:41 am
I thought you were adorable in your tipsiness. If you weren’t already subbed to SpunkMe I’d have you too.
Come on there has got to be some yummy man in your area who will at least do for a bit of robporn relief.
I want a full report when you find him. Juicy details an’ all …
By: English Girl on April 9, 2009
at 10:02 am
Thanks English Girl!! Am totally on the hunt for a Robstitute (Rob Substitute not prostitute 😉 )Will totally let everyone know once I find him.
By: Carrie on April 9, 2009
at 10:14 am
#
This might be a double post. B/c I am hungover and can’t spell my own name. So have another comment awaiting moderation. Moon/UC u can delete that one if you want.
Morning Ladies!!!
UGH!!! Am reading post from last night. No more drinking and posting for me. 😉
I think Rob might also let KStew have his Robnana. They are going to making Robnana splits all night long.
I am still not on team RobStew but will let her have Rob on her birthday.
By: Carrie on April 9, 2009
at 9:43 am
Oh yea and Happy Birthday to Kristen, I know I’m in the minority her but I think she’ s ok.
BTW, you only have to be 18yrs old in Quebec to drink. Canada home of free healthcare and booze for young-uns. LOL
By: Just a Girl on April 9, 2009
at 9:44 am
Oh, 19! I remember 19! Yes Canada picked 19. One of the great things about being Canadian rather than American is this little fact!
By: PishPosh71 on April 9, 2009
at 9:45 am
Of course, Rob is a sweetie. He poured so much thought into all those gifts.
Dear Rob,
For my birthday, you can keep it simple. I just want the 2 productive nights. That’s it. Easy peasy. I’ll bring the gift wrap.
Love,
me
By: Amber on April 9, 2009
at 9:46 am
mmmmm 2 productive nights *visualizing*
By: Just a Girl on April 9, 2009
at 9:47 am
Events from I Love LA come to my mind.
By: WastingTheMorning on April 9, 2009
at 9:49 am
Thats my fave I love RealRobPorn.
By: Just a Girl on April 9, 2009
at 9:59 am
It felt like cheating to me — as a 34 yr old married woman with a crush on RPatz READING about a 34 (maybe 33?) yr old single woman screwing RPatz. It was so damn hot. I was in heat the whole time I read it.
By: WastingTheMorning on April 9, 2009
at 10:08 am
@Calliope – R U there? Can we have a little Twilight Theater on the new Rob stalking fan picture? That was hiiiilarious yesterday.
By: WastingTheMorning on April 9, 2009
at 9:48 am
I think this is ridiculous: http://www.entertainmentwise.com/news/47974/robert-pattinson-faces-backlash-for-glamourising-smoking
He is not and never claimed to be a “role model” haha WHY can’t the media stop lumping him in with Zefron/Jonas/Disney guys? RAWR!
By: limeslice on April 9, 2009
at 9:50 am
Plus, he makes me want to BE his cig, not smoke one
By: limeslice on April 9, 2009
at 9:53 am
On the right there is a link to an article 10 guys who rival Robert Pattinson or something like that. The first picture that comes up is Efron who looks like a girl. Seriously, he’s as pretty as my daughter. The second is Slumdog Millionaire guy. ICKKKKKKK! As if they even compare.
By: WastingTheMorning on April 9, 2009
at 10:01 am
I just.don’t.understand. They need to stop. He doesn’t fit in a pre-existing category.
By: limeslice on April 9, 2009
at 10:02 am
Perfectly said — he is category-less.
By: WastingTheMorning on April 9, 2009
at 10:09 am
haha! Prettier than my daughter! Wasting, can you link me the pic again? is it he one of him in a car? bc you know my mind started to wander on that one! haha!
By: calliope on April 9, 2009
at 10:05 am
Yep the one from today where his window is down and he’s in the car laughing at all the crazy TwiMoms in their mock-turtleneck sweaters (I can say that cuz I’m soo not a TwiMom – no denial here).
By: WastingTheMorning on April 9, 2009
at 10:11 am
i find it completely annoying when the media clutch at a straws for SOMETHING to talk about. for real, i’m thinking the mass majority of hollywood smokes. who gives a shit? it’s not illegal.
i’m not a smoker, or a habitual one, but i would totally take a cig breaks with him.
By: Lan on April 9, 2009
at 10:03 am
he’s british doesn’t most everyone europe smoke? besides we all have our vises. at least he is only harming himself and not others (and don’t start on the second hand smoking bullshit because everyone has freewill and is able to walk away.) rob, as a smoker i support your smoking habit!
By: trixi on April 9, 2009
at 10:16 am
UC & Moon
LOVE LOVE LOVE the post… favorite part? D’Angelo song… don’t ask me why… i just picture Rob being like “Oh Kristen, i’ve got a new song on my ipod … want to hear” and BAMN! Sex Music. Clothes off. Roar. He’s a sneaky little brit.
Then he whips this out to top off the gift (all you twiporn ladies can let your imagination run wild with this one):
moving along…
@Melissa
“im watching the cake eaters today and smokin some ganga in ur honor.”
hahaha hysterical
@SpunkMe
yes, yes very excited to celebrate the birth of the Stew today. see you this afternoon!
@Janet
fingers and toes crossed for an awk paparazzi candid to “Twilight Theater” about!
@Byrdie, ErPatzz
thanks for the late night lovin of TwiTheater. Hope you ladies, along with EyeC, got some sleep last night!
@wastingthemorning
did rob call kstew’s butt robust? i think i missed that one…
@chinamum and Melissa (i think)
Teddy C has some serious twispiracys… also, his commentators are (except for some intelligent few) INSANE. like cracked-out, living in a box, using he free 15 minute internet at he library, never heard of a punctuation mark loonies. but, i do love me some shameless gossip…
http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b117715_rob_nikki_not_ldquodatingrdquo.html
By: calliope on April 9, 2009
at 10:03 am
Haha yea on the DVD commentary during the credits he goes “is that your bum? your robust bum?” or something similar when an outtake of the kissing scene rolls.
By: limeslice on April 9, 2009
at 10:05 am
well hello robbie! what i wouldn’t give to have him call my bum robust.
By: calliope on April 9, 2009
at 10:36 am
I think comment was because of the “hoopla” yes I said hoopla..that initially happened when they shot was first released and everyone was talking about how big her butt was …I dunno I could be wrong.
By: TWILIGHTED on April 9, 2009
at 1:20 pm
Holy crap! See he is waaay too familiar with her robust bum. He even “smacks that”!
By: WastingTheMorning on April 9, 2009
at 10:15 am
i think this picture is going to be the death of me.
no wait. the one of his peeking in bed, in GQ is.
or his puppy eyes one…
shit.
By: Lan on April 9, 2009
at 10:05 am
they’re all the death of me, Lan
By: unintendedchoice on April 9, 2009
at 10:46 am
@TRR
happy birthday to your daughter! yay!
By: calliope on April 9, 2009
at 10:11 am
Aw, thanks Calli. Can I call you calli?
By: therealrobzilla on April 9, 2009
at 10:31 am
yes of course you can!
By: calliope on April 9, 2009
at 10:33 am
to be honest, calliope isn’t even my real name… so you can shorten it however you want! my real name is actually kristen stewart! and today i’m 19! and i want to tell you all Rob & D’Angelo is as heavenly as you all think! WHoopeee it’s my birthday and i get the Brit in the bed!
(haha…sorry got carried away. to much sleep last night.)
By: calliope on April 9, 2009
at 10:40 am
jizzed.my.pants….nuff’ said!!! 🙂 Thanks for that picture girls!!!
By: krazykidd on April 9, 2009
at 10:14 am
@calliope Can’t wait for next installment of “Twilight Theater”
@Robzilla Happy Birthday to daughter.
Here’s birthday present for her-
http://www.converse.com/index.aspx?mode=shoes&fid=3#productdetail
By: Carrie on April 9, 2009
at 10:20 am
Try this link.
By: Carrie on April 9, 2009
at 10:23 am
Aw, those are so cute. My daughter just saw them and said she wanted ’em. Maybe I’ll get them as a guilt gift for robglecting her.
By: WastingTheMorning on April 9, 2009
at 10:25 am
WTA should def get them for all your Robglecting. If DH complains just read some new fanfic and try out new moves on him. He won’t know what hit him and will forget what he was complaining about.
I LOL’d at your comments “My hubby asked me the other day if I was having an affair or something cuz I had all these new moves. I just said “it’s the fan fiction, honey”. Now he doesn’t ask any questions when I chose the computer over snuggling in front of the TV.”
By: Carrie on April 9, 2009
at 10:31 am
I think I’ve already spent our entire tax refund on clothes and shoes for me and the kids. I’ve been giving a lot of hummers to erase his memory as a result.
By: WastingTheMorning on April 9, 2009
at 10:35 am
Your killing me WTA-“I’ve been giving a lot of hummers to erase his memory as a result.” Almost fell out of chair…. LMAO!!!
By: Carrie on April 9, 2009
at 10:39 am
Thanks CareBear! I really dig those. Maybe she will too. We are heading out in a few to have a fun day. I’ll stop by the store and try and get her a pair.
Y’all have a great day!!!!!!
Dear Rob,
I have to do RL things today but I will be thinking of doing RL things to you. R=Really, L=lecherous.
Love,
Me
By: therealrobzilla on April 9, 2009
at 10:33 am
Have fun Robzilla!!!! Will miss you lots and lots!!!! 🙂
By: Carrie on April 9, 2009
at 10:41 am
Twilight Theater is my fav!
Clever clever girl and the converse Bday presenft. Didn’t he give her a guitar last year? Maybe this year a tamborine?
By: Janetrigs on April 9, 2009
at 10:35 am
omg, I laugh so hard every time I see “Oregano”. seriously, girls…this one is superb.
and D’Angelo. lol!!!
M
By: myria101 on April 9, 2009
at 10:27 am
Ok, I have a confession to make. I *might* be going to the gym more than usual in preparation for the HTB screening. I also *might* be listening to “Closer to God” (NIN) during said workouts and thinking of Rob. Is that so wrong?
By: limeslice on April 9, 2009
at 10:29 am
Do you live someplace where he might actually attend the screening?
By: WastingTheMorning on April 9, 2009
at 10:31 am
Boston? April 23rd? I doubt it. But in my fantasy, yes, yes he’s there. And I pretend to smoke so that I can linger outside for him after the autographs (since I won’t be partaking in the fangirldom). And then somehow I ask him/slip him a note asking if he wants to go to a jazz club where no one will recognize him. And then we go to Wally’s where it’s a bunch of old dudes in the hood playing jazz and have a beer or five. And then…. yea
By: limeslice on April 9, 2009
at 10:36 am
I haven’t thought about this at all, btw.
By: limeslice on April 9, 2009
at 10:37 am
Pretend to smoke — I did that for most of high school 🙂
I love your fantasy btw. I won’t tell a soul your plan just so that it works.
By: WastingTheMorning on April 9, 2009
at 10:40 am
Ha thanks I probably just jinxed it
By: limeslice on April 9, 2009
at 10:41 am
Give him a squeeze for me.
By: myria101 on April 9, 2009
at 10:53 am
Nah, course not.
By: English Girl on April 9, 2009
at 11:18 am
Nope. Whatever keeps u motivated at gym. Maybe i need to try that out. Have been a slack azz about working out lately.
By: Carrie on April 9, 2009
at 10:32 am
Try the Tostitos and Guacamole diet. It really works!
By: WastingTheMorning on April 9, 2009
at 10:37 am
GOOD MORNING SUNSHINES!!!!!!!
Ok, so I love that the robporn of my gravatar is the letter today!
I saw that Howie is awake already and Carrie…part of the triple threat – mornin to ya!
I do love the pic of him in the back of the car, so sneaky, but he just had to peek up to say hi to us, he knows we’re watching.
Best part of the letter today is the song lyrics, because they made me imagine him poppin himself in my body 🙂
By: snmlamb on April 9, 2009
at 10:35 am
Isn’t “Soft” about erectile dysfunction? Are we saying that Rob can’t get it up for KStew? Not sure if melikey or medislikey.
By: WastingTheMorning on April 9, 2009
at 10:38 am
I believe I could cure him of that if he ever developed it.
By: snmlamb on April 9, 2009
at 10:39 am
Did anyone watch Jacksper last night on CSI????? I did, I still have it on Tivo.
I kinda like the crazy version.
By: snmlamb on April 9, 2009
at 10:36 am
i did! 🙂 it’s actually Criminal Minds and i really dug his performance.
he has some crazy big eyes!
By: Lan on April 9, 2009
at 10:41 am
@SpunkMe just finished watching your video. Awesome!!! I am so impressed. 🙂
Domward- “You pleased me tonight, SpunkMe,” I said, my lips so close to her skin I could taste her. “Now it’s my turn to please you.”
By: Carrie on April 9, 2009
at 10:38 am
@Carrie – WTA? Is that WastingTheAfternoon? I’ve been doing plenty of that as well.
By: WastingTheMorning on April 9, 2009
at 10:43 am
I’m hungover!! Sorry. But you knew who I was talking to. Sometimes me not Smart!!! 🙂
By: Carrie on April 9, 2009
at 10:58 am