Posted by: Bekah | May 10, 2010

10 reasons why Rob should love Moon on her birthday…

Dear Rob,

Yesterday was Moon’s birthday. Hopefully you remembered and you zipped up the hill to her house & wished her a happy birthday properly in person, but in case you didn’t, I have an idea.

You should date her. I already live vicariously through Moon’s boy stories, and I’m pretty sure I’d enjoy them even MORE if they had words like “Then Rob & I got Kogi & went back to his place.” or “I bought Rob shampoo yesterday- and taught him how to use it.”

So here is a list of 10 reasons why I KNOW you’d like Moon enough to date her:

  1. She’s got a nice Rack
  2. She’s extremely intelligent. She’ll discuss the latest pretentious book you are currently reading (she probably already has it on her nightstand) and then discuss pop culture with you in the next breath
  3. She’ll throw you a damn good birthday theme party- it’ll be something no one has ever thought of before… like a Hot Pocket party or a party where you come dressed as your favorite Frozen Snack (I call the Klondike bar). Or something really cliche- like Harry Potter. (I CALL CHO CHAN)
  4. She’ll introduce you to bands you’ve never heard of and then get you tickets to their shows.
  5. She’s a great DD.
  6. She LOVES to karaoke
  7. She likes younger men
  8. Her mom ALREADY loves you- no pressure there.
  9. She loves dogs. Flash & Patty RIP
  10. Dick & Clare would EAT her up. Seriously. Parents DREAM about their kids bringing home girls like her. Plus she’s NEVER been caught smoking pot by the paparazzi. GRANDMA PATTINSON APPROVED!!

After the jump, enjoy more birthday surprises for Moon!

(don’t know what PSSSST Is? DUDE- it’s the only reason I pass off unwashed hair as cute hair some days! Get it now!)

Happy Birthday Moon! Love me & Rob,

I asked a few people to share some thoughts about Moon today. Read these and then tell me she’s not the best person who has ever lived! Or that Rob should SERIOUSLY date her like NOW!


  • I love Moon because even though we’ve never met, I feel like we’ve known each other for years.
  • I love Moon for her flamboyant love of ‘Nsync and how she owns it.
  • I love Moon for our late night chats whether I’m baring my soul or complaining about the kool-aid drinking.
  • I love Moon for making me crack up on a regular basis
  • I love Moon because she’s always so calm, cool and collected, it sure takes a lot to rattle this girl
  • I love Moon because we’d make EPIC quizzo partners (if only we lived in the same city!)
  • I love Moon because she asked me in all seriousness if there are tofu cheese steaks in Philly, to which I laughed and then laughed some more


The truth of the matter is–we were instant friends. It was the moment that we were standing in the Hot Topic line for the Twilight DVD release…we turned to each other in disgust after we heard the girl on the other side of the barricade screaming “I LOVE YOU EDWARD CULLEN!” and our friendship was immediate. “That girl needs to shut up!” We both declared. and so it was. Funny how such a small thing can turn into such a great and hopefully lifelong friendship. I love your humor, kindness, and our “family” dinners at Big Daddy’s favorite, The Olive Garden, where we took the “tour of italy” by storm. I love waiting in line with you for premieres and our schemings of where to go and where to look for Rob when he’s in LA (even if we are a bit “creepy” sometimes). But hey, that’s “normal” right? Here’s to a few more years of crazy Twilightedness and more “normal” years down the line. I love u, Moon! <3.

Hisoneandonly *real life friend of ours!

  • Moon can tear it UP on the dance floor, girl can shake her booty and is a good time
  • Moon is super thoughtful and caring and shows it real well through gifts/cards/creative stuff
  • Moon is true to herself. example: is unashamed of expressing her love for underage boys;
  • Moon can dance to glasvegas and then be just as excited when beiber comes on right after
  • Moon is hilarious! keeps it real and doesn’t take shit
  • Moon makes delicious cupcakes


  • I love moon because she knows the location of delicious fish tacos and knows that Kogi is a special gift from the Gods Of Korean Barbeque to her and I.
  • I love Moon for being afraid of fangirls.
  • I love Moon for knowing the location of youtube videos starring a one Mr. Ryan Gosling in all his Mickey Mouse Club glory.


“I know your shits not weak!”


  • The way you always says ‘myello’ or how you send a shock to my senses with a link to a picture of rob hugging a teddy bear instead of saying hello. This makes us trade 4 letter words back and forth for the first 5 minutes of our conversation.
  • I love you for all the plans we have, basements with dogs in doily collars, intersections with wedding dresses on…
  • Anytime I want my heart ripped out of my chest, I just chat you up and we listen to Rob sing and lament about how yes, in fact, we do still love him more every time we hear him sing.
  • On a serious note, I am so richly blessed to have you in my life, a friend i think of far more often than I get the chance to talk to. Love you Moon!!!! xoxoxoxo


I love Moon because:

  • There’s zero drama with Moon. And that’s saying a lot with this fandom!
  • Moon’s seen Rob in person a bojillion times & never fails to text me gems such as, “OMG–Black beanie!” Brilliant.
  • Have you seen her hair? It’s better than Barbie’s hair. (I said this last year, but seriously…it’s worthy of repeating.)
  • When I quote random lines from Steel Magnolias or Almost Famous, she gets it. Every time! (“Feck you!”)
  • She appreciates The Golden Girls. “Your heart is true, you’re a pal and a confidante…”
  • For better or for worse, Moon introduced me to Justin Bieber. ‘Nuff said.
  • Hedges.


And I love you Moon because whether it’s talking twitter avis, bitching about her, feeling like giving up, forgetting why we started, worrying about jobs and money, or talking faith politics or boys…you are the only one who truly makes me feel normal in all of this. I know that if you think it too, then I’m a-ok 🙂 I love you Moon!

Thanks to Brookie, Janet & JodieO for all the help! Most of the RobPorn was JodieO’s creation for Robsten4Life’s birthday last week. Big LTR Happy Bday to R4L! XO

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter


  1. Happ B’day, Chica!!
    Hope you had a super fabulous day. You deserve it!


    • What she said.
      Hope it was a fabulous one, Moon!

  2. “There’s zero drama with Moon”

    YES, I love that! Then Rob should surely date Moon!
    Eviva RobMo!<3

    oh my, now I'm jealous !

  3. Happy Birthday Moon! My love of Rob has waned a bit – it is hard to keep the fervor unrequited (he never calls), but I had to drop by today and wish you a very happy bday. You have given my many LOL moments in the last 18 months, so I owe you a big thank you.

    • i heart you and your comments milfy! never forget it when the flames die a bit.

  4. Oopsies.

    • WHY is this comment still at the bottom? I don’t get it and it bugs me!!!

      • Hm, this was supposed to be a reply to SHM’s “Oopsies” comment. Technology is playing a trick on me today.

        • It’s weird how I can’t reply to my own comments.

          *This isn’t even remotely interesting. Why am I still commenting on this?*

  5. Happy birthday Moon!
    Ryan Gosling was in the Mickey Mouse Club?!

    • I wondered about that too.

    • HECK YEA he was!!!

      feast your eyes on a baby goz

      • Unfuckingreal!!
        THAT is some freakydeaky shizz.
        *shakes out brain*

        • oh my god that was a mid 90’s wet dream!!!!
          ah what we had before rob…

  6. Grandma Pattinson FTW.

    Rob & Moon have my blessing!

  7. I hope you had a great birthday Moon!

  8. Wow–she really does have good hair. I bet she has better shoes than Barbie, too.

    Rob should seriously date her. I agree.

    • hahaha i opened this page and i was like WOAH picture of me next to rob!!! GOOD MORNING.

  9. I’m sure Rob stalked Moon on her birthday not because I suggested it but because she is fun and brillz and I think he’d love to meet her. If he didn’t show up it’s because he’s a terrible stalker. PLus that punch mixture didn’t help.

    Moon, when I land LA (sometime this century) I may or may not stalk you because I’d love to meet you. I’ll make the punch after.

    • Happy belated bday moon. Thanks to UC and your good self for LTR I don’t know what I would have done the last 5 months or so without it……probably I would still have a job!!!

      MP – yes we should have drinks together sometime, you can do the singing and I’ll (pretend)play the frying pan 🙂

      • Count on me for the singing. I am a famous singer. On *cough* late nights *cough*.

    • Obviously he stalked her. Why wouldn’t he. She’s smart, beautiful and hot and she occasionally makes fun of him. Girlfriend material.
      I hope it was a lovely evening, Moon! Tell us about a birthday kiss you got from him, in details.
      Happy birthday!

    • Minuit, I hope there was some kind of stalking going on, one way or the other. If Rob’s in Europe, he should be going out with you, but if he’s in LA, Moon is an excellent alternative. I’m sure you won’t mind sharing!

      • Robon FTW!!! Or Moob! Or Ron (Rob+moon)! They’re meant together!!!

        PS TOO ILY

    • he totes should. i wouldnt make him feel awkward at all that i write a blog about him every day. ya know. cause that’s not weird!

      ps PLEASE COME VISIT!!!!

      • I’d love to!!! “squeeing in fangirl mode*. Also what’s up with your “I’m coming to Europe” idea, cause I noted that one down, ya know?

        And I think he would drunk laugh at your blogging because you’re hilar and smart. Can totally picture a night out when you’re making fun of each other. And I think you’ve been in the vicinity of HHH without mentioning any of that. I think.
        I think he would like you a lot.


    • let’s all ignore all the mispelling, shall we? you’re now used to it.

  10. Happy Birthday Moon! Though we haven’t met, I love you (and UC) for running this amazing blog where I can come every day to laugh, (sometimes) cry and find hilarious Robporn like Rob failing at making punch. That killed me. The face-oh my.

  11. Happy Birthday to Moon!

  12. Happy Birthday Moon.

    I’ve got the beiber song stuck in my head, again.

  13. happy birthday moon!! 🙂

    loved the drunk rob happy easter manip… siiiigh…

    • I know, right?!?

  14. Happy b-day, Moon!
    I heart you because the fact that you are funny, smart and hot is evident by your writing and ideas, so one can only imagine the genius that is you in person!

    P.S: I heat UC as well, but it’s not your birthday, sorry!

  15. “I love waiting in line with you for premieres and our schemings of where to go and where to look for Rob when he’s in LA (even if we are a bit ‘creepy’ sometimes). But hey, that’s “normal” right?”


    That’s Totes Normal!

    (I do it when he is in London, with Icy!)

    Happy Birthday Moon!


    • We do need to see a picture of the side of Moon’s face next to Rob, just like we saw yours!

  16. I’d give up my Rob fantasies to see Rob and Moon together. And this is obviously saying a lot. I’m a true friend like that.

    HEDGES! ❤ It!

    • WOW. you are the bestest of friends to give that up.

      but you’re a good person. ill take it. if i must.

  17. Happy Birthday Moon! I just took down the ultra cheesy ‘Nsync Twitter avi I had up for you. I know you’ll be super sad now.

    Only a few weeks until we meet!


    • i am sad. nsync in gross trunks in a pool needs to be up ALL the time

  18. Happy Bird Day, Moon!!!!!!

  19. Aww, these were so sweet! Warmed my heart.

    Happy Birthday, Moon! Many Cullen smiles your way! Thanks for your work as one half of the original dynamic duo that will lead to my pink slip one day!!! ❤

  20. Happy Birthday Moon!

  21. happy birthday Moon – thank you for making me laugh so much for almost a year and a half…and i hope Rob calls you soon after he ditches shewhoshallnotbenamed…

    • “and i hope Rob calls you soon after he ditches shewhoshallnotbenamed”


      p.s. Happy Birthday Moon today and forever more

    • WHO???!! 😉

  22. Happy Bday, Moon! What a f*cktastic week….your bday, mine tomorrow, and Rob’s on Thursday!? Taurus’ rule! LOL

    We haven’t met, but hope to do so when in LA for Eclipse!

    Thank you for bringing together all these amazing women through our love for HHH.

    • Hells to the YES! Taurus’ absolutely rule. My b-day was on Friday (7th). 😉

      HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Moon. May ALL your dreams come true!

      And — Happy early b-day to loving40’s.

      *scratched head with confused look* hmmm … seems like there was somebody with a birthday on Thursday? Wonder who? Hope I think of it soon. 😉

    • in LA?!! make sure you email us so we can meet up!

      and go taurus! bulls 4 life! we rule

  23. Mooon!!!! happy bday!! thank you for everything u do for us ur readers… u r the best!! and rob doesnt know what he´s missing hahaha.. xoxo

  24. Actually, both of these porns I made were Moon birthday originals. Happy birthday, Moon! I hope you had a great birthday weekend!

    • oh they ARE! you are even more spectacular than I once thought then!

      • Yup! Only the KStew ones I sent you were for R4L. The other three were all Moonie!

    • Dear JodieO,

      Please publish a book of your RobPorn. My birthday is next week.

      Thank you,

      • I would love to, but then I’d have to make deals with the paparazzi about use of their photos and I just wouldn’t be able to sleep nights if I did that…

    • the porns are HILAR!!! (among the) I can recall.

      • the bestest I meant. midnight wine fail.

    • OHHH i got originals! now i feel special!

      • You ARE special!

  25. You forgot the #1 reason Rob should date Moon — because she’s totally hot!

    I’d go fake lesbian for her. 🙂

    Happy Birthday Moon!!!

  26. Happy birthday Moon! I mean, errr, Happy Easter!

  27. Moon and Rob should date! I think this is a wonderful way to celebrate your b-day and you would have an awesome couple name. Moob or Roon whichever you choose.

    Happy B-day Moon!

    PS Please post pics of you and Rob on dates and such… I have 4 kids, so I must live vicariously through you!

    • MOOB and ROON!!! thats amazing.

      • Then we could write YOU a letter asking you to share pics of you and Rob kissing. And crop yourself out.

        • And replace you with us…

  28. Happy Birthday Moon.
    You seem like a really nice and cool person. I like your writing , it says a lot about you . Even though we’ll never ever meet, i wish we could be friend. I’ve been a loyal reader of your blog since January 2009.

    PS : I believe in RobOon or RobMo. Someone needs to write fanfic about you two 😀

    • RobMo! SO coo!

  29. I’m sorry, but that photo of Rob with his insanely long tongue should be at the beginning of every post here, ever.

    And I am totally photoshopping my face over her face.

    (Happy BeeDay Moon!)

  30. Moon, I hope you had a wonderful birthday weekend! Did you get nice presents? Did Rob come as a big birthday gift wrapped in a red bow(wearing nothing else)? 🙂

    My b’day is this week but since my sis is going away for a business trip, she wanted to celebrate this past weekend! I claim this entire week for me to celebrate although I really don’t want to remember I grew a year older.

    • Happy Birthday to YOU, sweet SB! My birthday is next week. There are a lot of Tauruses up in heeeeerrrrreee.

      • Taurus… holla!

      • Hon I was just gonna say wear the plaid….remember our plaid Catholic a-la-Brittney style uniforms? HA!

        • Oh yeah! Hahah! Rob LOVES that!

    • honi…a hugeeee kissss ❤

    • Happy Birthday SB sweety……….may all your wishes come true!!! Hope this whole week will be… for you!!!! 😀

      Kinda am in the mood for Robbirthday now……..wonder what I should wear on his birthday???

      Have a nice week you all!!!
      Love you!!!

      • What to wear on Rob’s birthday? Plaid!! 🙂

        • Don’t forget the beanie!

        • Preach!

      • Oh I don’t want to steal Moon’s special day, it’s not my bday yet but thanks for the happy wishes! 🙂

    • When exactely is your birthday?
      Happy birthday week!!!
      I like that concept.

  31. Hope you had a fabulous time. I see both posts (LTR and LTT) were done by UC today. What are you guys not telling us? Did Moon meet up with Rob last night, and is she still holed up with him at the Chateau Marmont, or wherever the heck he’s staying?

    • yes.

  32. Myello there and Happy Birthday, Moon! XO

  33. “But the point I’m trying to make is Happy Easter!” LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL!

  34. Moon,
    You love younger men? I’m shocked.

    Love your haircolor…it’s gorge and Rob’s hands will look great there!

    Happy Birthday!!!!!


    • age aint nuttin but a number babay!

  35. Happy B-Day, Moonie! ❤ ❤ ❤

    When people write on your FB wall or text you "Happy BD" do you automatically think "Happy Breaking Dawn? What the H?"

    • LOL! When people do #FF on Twitter I think, “What’s with all the fan fiction hash tags??” It’s normal.

      • Totes normal!

  36. Happy Birthday Moon!
    Thank you so much for these blogs. Your wit is truly amazing and I owe you a million thanks for making me laugh everyday.

    …and watch out for Rob’s Birthday Punch, someone may have spiked it with stewlaid.

    …and so jealous of your hair! 😉

  37. W-o-w
    Ron was W-A-S-T-E-D big time (<–does anyone say that anymore?)
    Anywho, Happy Bday! You're hilarious!
    P.S: I love the Golden Girls, too! lol
    Rose and Sofia are my favorite.
    The St. Olaf stories are so stupid and hilarious! lol
    Speaking of, did anyone watch Betty White on SNL last Saturday?

  38. By God you DO have great hair Moon (and a beautiful face to go with it).

    It came to pass that this weekend just ended I was having a mid-life crisis moment (as one does occasionally when one realises that one is no longer 20 …. or 30 for that matter) and decided that I would go some form of red-head at the salon when I visit next week.

    Please ask your hairdresser what colours she uses (‘cos I can see about 5 different tones there) so that I can ask for a “Moon” when I go in. I don’t want to have a disaster and end up having to do a Britney and shave it all off.

  39. Hope you had a great b’day Moon! And that pic of Rob’s tongue (and Anna) it has haunted me and will forever and evah!!!

    • You’d deserved one of these! Almost as good as the real thing…

      • I think it looks more like Beethoven.

        Ludwig Von Robward?

    • Hey choco-Rob is cool! But I don’t think it looks like him. LOL

      Sorry I missed u on google dear.

  40. Happy Birthday!

  41. Happy Birthday Moon! I hope you had a wonderful B’day! See you in a few week! Squee! 🙂

  42. Since I’m not familiar with y’alls American abbreviations, I had to look DD up.

    This is what I found:
    * Really big breats – Double D
    * Designated Driver
    * Disease and Drug
    * Dunkin Donuts
    * Damage Dealer
    * Death Dot
    * Drunk and Desperate
    * Drug dealer
    * Daddy Dick
    * Drunk Dialing
    * Drunk Driver/Drive Drunk
    * Digital Death

    WOW. I’m gonna play it safe and go with designated driver (congrats on that, I’m never able to refrain from drinking!) although DoubleD doesn’t sound half bad either.

    • haha. WHOA good job researching!!!!!!!!!!!

    • You forgot Dear Daughter or Darling Daughter :-).

      • You can abbreviate pretty much everything. It’s confusing.
        Imagine getting an email from your mother that starts with “DD,” when you are used to hearing “Daddy Dick” jokes from your friends.

  43. happy birhday moon, if there’s ever a letters to justin (bieber not timberlake) i’ll read it .. a lot.
    please post the you tube link to ryan gosling on MM club!!

  44. Still hate you….but strangely excited about meeting you.

    • PS Happy effing burfday that you share with my mom

    • strangely?!


  45. Dear Moon,
    I hope that your birthday was extraordinary.

  46. Happy birthday Moon!

    Sorry I’m so late but I have a good excuse:

    My PC caught a virus and I’ve had pornsites popping up on my computer all morning. I don’t think the tech guy believed me when I said I never visit those sites (I really don’t). haha

    Somehow my phone wouldn’t let me post here either, Anyway, happy happy birthday!!

    • Robs 11 cocks.

      • OMG! AP hahahaha, you know it!

        • Bwahahahahaahaaaa *singing WIN WIN WIN!

          • no one got my 11 cocks joke except you two! haha #SSBCjokes

    • @Jules

      I know how you feel re. the tech guy, same thing happened to me….and I can’t get my phone to post on here either…strange.

      I’m having a really difficult time today consentrating on anything, the media in our country are driving me insane. This hung government thing is nuts. No deal yet between the Cons and the Libs, Gordon Brown still PM…the media are on the side of the poxy Conservatives. Nobody seems to be pointing out that though the Cons got more seats they didn’t get a majority of the vote and therefore the cons can only reach a stable government with a coalition (though coalition is not really very stable in this country..we’re not use to it and we haven’t had once since 1974 and that only lasted for about three months before another general election was called)

      The way how we vote in this country is barmy 62% of the population didn’t vote for the bloody Conservatives, therefore they did not get the mandate to govern. It’s a bloody shambles and I’m hoping for another election by October. Also I’m sick of hearing that GB is squatting in No. 10….NO, HE IS NOT….constitutionally he must remain as PM until he can go to the Queen and resign and suggest the next PM which at the mo would be Cameron (God help us). It would be irresponsible to resign before the next government is formed..we went to the polls but we didn’t not vote any party in to goverment on a majority.

      We are now waiting to see if GB goes to the Queen and resigns or whether he will resign from the Labour Party and thus Harriet Harmen will take his place as caretake PM until an agreement is reach by Cameron and Clegg. Just wish they’d hurry up and decide so we can start campaigning for the next general election which, more than likely will be very soon, and a return to a Labour government.

      Sorry for the rant!

      • Mine – Sorry to hear about your political woes. We have the same system here and have had minority (or coalition) governments for the last many years. They are unstable and elections are more frequent than I would like.

        Screw politics, you’ve done your part by voting. Go view so Robporn, you’ll feel better. 🙂

      • Have you seen boulton vs campbell?? Is totes hilar.

        • Politics are unfortunatelly usually hilar. This Sunday, on a terrace, guess who shows up with a rock star attitude and a 20 smth blonde girl? A famous political man (of the party I support). Obv. smb forgot to tell him he is still a bold old man.

          • Can you top this: our premier (I voted for his party too ) is called Barbie, he’s in his 40s, former model, still likes to pose shirtless…I think I’d prefer and “older” serious man in a suit, someone obsessed with solving financial crisis in Europe and not so much obsessed with his sixpack.

          • hahahahahaha. Yes I think I can top this! Ask Berlusconi!
            Actually the Fr. guy I saw is decent otherwise. Also OMG, I don’t support the majority party in Fr., just had to mention, the thought of a confusion makes me nauseous.

    • Are you sure you didn’t mistake you porn for you tube? I’m sorry but the story is so hilar.

      • HAHA! Min, I was gonna get busted for REAL porn, with titties and peen. The sites were hardcore. I’m wondering if perhaps I typed Robporn too many times on my computer and this virus searched and decided I was a porn affecionado. Anyway, tech dude gave me the “yeah riiight” look when I told him I had never been to those sites.

        • I’m sure it’s the Robporn typing because this stuff doesn’t come out of nowhere. It’s like behavioural targetting. Except it’s porn invasion at the office. bahahaha!

  47. Dear Moon,

    happy birthday from the bottom of my heart. I thought about Rob being long and hard… I mean about what I should give to you long and hard and I came up with… nothing. The stuff I came up with was not enough for the greatness that is you. So I just settled with a birthday wish and a Handshake a la Spongebob and hope UC’s presents are enough…


  48. CHO CHAN! thatsRIGHT, “rob pattinson loves asian” 😉

  49. […] 10 reasons why Rob should love Moon on her birthday… Dear Rob, Yesterday was Moon’s birthday. Hopefully you remembered and you zipped up the hill to her house & […] […]

  50. I’m late to the commenting tonight but Happy Birthday Moon…and yes we do have fake cheese steak in Philly and it is AMAZING:

    “Philly Pepper Steak Sandwich. Soy steak (not vegan) and Rainbow Peppers grilled in olive oil with Govinda’s special gravy & cheese”

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