While listening to “Rob Radio” at MyRobPattinson I thought about what would have happened if you had decided to quit acting and you’d never been cast in Twilight and we probably would have never started this blog. Would I know about you if you were a musician, since brits who sing Americana folk music seem to be a dime a dozen these days? And what in the HALE would my life look like right now if I hadn’t spent the last year and change writing letters to you with my friend? Would her and I even be as close as we are now?
I know I definitely wouldn’t be sitting on my bed in the middle of the afternoon intermittently plucking my eyebrows and writing a letter to you for a blog. I might still be in that office where this all began wanting to die or be run over by a car crossing the street. Or maybe I would have made the same decision to leave and would have even more time right now to pursue my goals.
Instead of photoshopping you in jorts and a mullet, I might be doing the same to Ryan Gosling and then sending it to some of my friends. Or maybe I would have really made a go of the LOLHipsters site I created with a good pal and I’d currently be typing text like “Can haz neon spandexes?” instead of words like “Jaw porn” or “Robgasm.”
Or I might be writing letters to someone completely different say…
Dear Justin Timberlake -
I’m writing you cause I have no one else to occupy my time with and since I was 15 you’ve been it for me. Please write and record another album. This 4 year (FOUR YEAR) drought is entirely too long. I don’t want to see you running around town with Jessica Biel again unless I have a new album of future sex love sounds in my hand.
GET IT DONE
Thanks for saving me from that ultimately sad entry into my blogging career. I’d much rather contribute to someone’s “Rob Porn Collection” or write about your armpit hair that beg ol Timberfro for some new aural action. Cause these things have become normal, right?
Can you imagine what the last year of your life would have been like without Rob? What would you have been doing? Is there anyone else who can hold a candle to him? Were you a JT or a JC girl?