Posted by: Bekah | February 5, 2010

Robward in tweed & khakis? No no, give me a plain gray t-shirt…

Rob: remember how you wore a lot of TWEED in New Moon? Well, we’re gonna take a time out from you for a second (cuz let’s be honest- there’s nothing to say) to discuss your Edward attire with a fab fan letter!

Hello Isabella. My name is Edward Cullen. Can I help you open a checking account?

Dear New Moon Costume Designer,

Sit down, have a heine and let’s chat.

Edward Cullen does not wear Khakis! I repeat, Edward Cullen DOES NOT WEAR KHAKIS! Our husbands, dads, bosses, dudes working at Target and English lit professors wear khakis. Edward Cullen does NOT receive the JCrew catalog.

When we picture Edward’s pants on our bedroom floor, they are not khakis. Why? Because khakis are a reality. In fact, many of us probably do have wadded up khakis on our bedroom floor. It just reminds us that our husband was too drunk tired to find the hamper.

We were sad in Alice’s vision of Edward and vamp-y Bella running through the forest, garments flowing in the breeze. But (ugh) they were beige and… bad. I know it is cliche, but can you please put a g*d-damned vampire in black pants? Black pants are universally hot. Black is the new black.

Wait! Come Back! If not a checking account, how about a money market with a 3.5% APY?

With aforementioned khakis, there is also a beige vest in said vision. Ummm, no. Firstly, beige is not a good color for a pallorous complexion. Seriously, I have experience with pale, look at my screen name for goodness sake. Secondly, it’s a vest,… a vest.. for Edward. Ew.

Overly Emo? Retro Gilbert Blythe? What was your inspiration here? It could *gasp* work if the white shirt was unbuttoned, a vintage “Clash” tee peeking through, triangle scarf, fidora, and dark jeans… and only if he were auditioning for American Idol, season 7. No! No vest! Vests are not for frolicking in the woods with your immortal beloved. Vests do not frolic. Vests mean business.

This beige vision is a sad contrast to the Phoebe Cates-in-the-red-bikini- slo-mo dream sequence in “Fast Times.” This could have been an “Ohhhhhhhhhh Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” moment for Edward, but it wasn’t. This slo- mo, well, was ho-mo. Down with khaki on any Cullen (except maybe Carlisle, somehow it suits Carlisle. Mmmmmm, suit… Carlisle.. anyway).

Less Tweed, more gray thermals

Let’s look back at Twilight Edward’s wardrobe. Pea coat.. yummy, clingy grey, tee… delish. But the Volterra wingtip shoes? A hot, rich, 17 year old immortal is NOT going to be sportin’ the Florsheims.

And what is with Edward’s tweed coat with the back velvet collar? Too metropire. Only Lestat can pull off velvet.

[Also, in this beige vision of bad clothes why a Dorthy-of-OZ dress for Bella? How about a Betsy Johnson or Vivienne Westwood dress? Bella could do better. There is a fabulous Nordstroms in Seattle. I’m sure Alice would take her. Go Bella, go!]

Call me costumer on this one.. I have some sketches and fabric samples.

Please get off this downward spiral before Breaking Dawn. Unborn Resemee is frightened that she will be swaddled in hot pink Lederhosen. Ask Clinton Kelly, he’ll back me on this one!!

Signed,
Snow White Driftted

(No street cred aside from being a costume design major (that’s a major?? Yes it is. From a real University?? Yes, Fight On!) so of course I am an expert even though I have never worked one day in the industry outside of college.)

Vests remind Snow White Drifted of Business Time, Treat yourself and see what reminds me  (UC) of business time after the jump!

Yeah, you thought this was gonna be some hot manip of Rob acting out scenes from The Office fan fic, right? Nope. It’s better:

“It’s time for business that’s why they call ’em business socks- ooh!”

Seriously we spent a lot of time discussing the tweed (Tweed is serious) BEFORE New Moon released, but  why haven’t we complained about Robward’s outfits since!? Let’s talk it out!

Our internet game is still ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter

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Responses

  1. You had me at “ho-mo”.

    • That scene reminded me of a bad commercial for some laundry detergent powder!

      • It reminded me of a Summer’s Eve commercial.

        • you nailed it. excellent.

        • 17 milly thumbs up for that one Katie 😀

        • Vampax

          • haha, you remember that. Good one 😀

      • Maybe in Alice’s vision, Bella turns vamp on Halloween and they’re pretending to be the Maria and Captain Von Trapp.

      • May I know which one? I am sure I’ve seen it…

  2. NM was terrible in the costume design department for Rob. Tweed jackets, khakis, and vests. I mean, really? Really?
    Loved the letter, Snow White!

  3. Yes. Bring back the clingy grey thermals (yummy) and pea coat. (Sorry, Rob)

    In New Moon, Edward was way too tweed serious and I couldnt place what he was trying to “sell” me. (Auto insurance, real estate, stocks) or if I should listen….because “when E.F. Hutton talks…..”

    Edward needs to be dressed as a hip, detached 17 year old vampire with 91 years of life “experience” (mostly)

    You know, Tee shirts and button fly 501’s…….. crumpled on my floor

    • All that, but the thermals need to be navy.

      This: http://twitpic.com/11hr4a is the guy I dream about, not the guy going to safari in 1952.

      Great letter, Snow White Driftted!

      • Jellybean, that pic made me whimper. Truth.

      • Yes. THAT right there is the Edward I would have moaned “out loud” over in high school. Or right now. Whatever.

      • Damn right !

  4. You know what’s even worse than the Tweed jacket? Knowing that Rob himself picked that out. He thought it was a good look for Edward in NM.
    So the guy who goes out in public in flannel, dirty t-shirts and ripped clothes that came directly from his bedroom floor, decides to go with a tweed suit?

    And whose brilliant idea was it to let Rob decide his wardrobe? Have the costume designers not seen how he dresses?

    • Exactly!

      I can kind of see how his reasoning went though (not that that’s an excuse for the tweed…). Since he mostly feels like he’s the exact opposite of Edward (ah, adorkable self-deprecation…sigh), he probably thought that if he picked out something he would never wear voluntarily in real life, that that would be suitable for Edward. Wr-ong. I have to hand it to Cathy Hardi, at least she got the wardrobe right in Twilight.

      • She has ONE redeeming quality!!! Oh, um… was that uncalled for?

        • She has two… She can also do a ten-second keg stand!

          • Three . . . she cast Rob as Edward.

          • 4 – she owns “the bed”.

          • She owns the bed?
            bahahahahahhahahah I just spilled my drink…

        • I’m a little more generous with the “Cougar”. She got a few things right. Wardrobe, scenery (my husband watched TW for the first time a couple of weeks ago and even he commented on the beautiful scenery) and we can’t forget that she knows how to film a kiss scene.
          I can watch the bedroom kiss over and over (because I’m a perv like that!). The kisses in NM were such a let down. I felt like I was watching over someone’s shoulder the whole time.

          Maybe they could bring Cougar Cathy in to film the romantic scenes?

          • Yup. And she used Rob’s music too.

            Basically, she really captured a certain sexy, alluring, and cool mood in her movie that you could really feel.

            NM felt slick and hollywood, with a canned score and flashy CGI effects. AND BAD WARDROBE!

          • I always feel like I’m in the minority when it comes to the soundtrack of Twilight. I just liked it better. I can’t listen to the NM soundtrack – maybe just one or two songs. But TW, I can listen to that over and over. The songs were perfect for the movie.

            And I think someone on LTR or LTT coined a phrase for the NM movie – “slickified”. I think that sums it up perfectly!

          • yup, i have to agree that i liked the “feel” of tw better. the vamps were all hipper, cooler and hotter. waaaay cooler clothes, great colours for clothes and scenery. just really crappy effects. and one liners.

        • CH picked Rob, so I’ll always love her for that.

          • THUMBS UP!

          • well…”love” is a strong word 🙂 jk…

          • Jinx!

          • I only love her because of that!
            Whatever else she did with Twilight was pure… it was just bad ok I won’t say what’s on my mind exactly but you girls figure…

    • haha…
      I guess this brilliant idea had Chris W., YES!!….he saw Rob’s dresses, ok …but have YOU see the pants of Chris W.? NO comment! 🙂

      • RG- right you are!

      • Ah, it all makes sense now!

        • Oh gawd! I had forgotten LondonChris.
          @-@

    • Dear Rob, we know that you have many talents and positive attributes: acting, executive producing your new movie, skilled musician and singer; you’re smart, funny, thoughtful and of course, uberhot. But, however, please do not consider designing your own clothing line, unless you have major help from Micheal Kors and Nina Garcia.

      We love you and will support your many ventures, but as evidenced by your choosing your wardrobe in NM, please don’t go there.

      Love,
      drsaka and co.

      • …BUT drsaka, I WOULD buy a “Rob-essence”perfume-line…lol

        • Then we might finally know if he’s a bit ripe or not. Maybe we’d better go with a sample first instead of a whole bottle!

        • And I would spray it all over my pillow and sleep with said pillow. Just because it smells like Rob…

          p.s. do you think I could send him a pillow and ask him to sleep with it like 2 weeks and then send it back? 😛

    • Yes.
      I usually agree with Rob’s take on Edward’s character, his struggles, his “arc”, etc. But he was totally wrong about the mature wardrobe choice.

      If I were Bella, I’d be all, “Dude, you’re hawt, but all this dry-humping on your scratchy tweed is giving me a rash.”

      • dry-humping on your scratchy tweed is giving me a rash
        Hahahahahaha!

      • Too funny!

      • Hilarious!

    • i bet not to wear underpants at the scene when Edward steps to the light was Rob ‘s idea too…ıımmm what he was thinking?

      • Maybe he just wanted to TEASE us?

        • hahaha
          i’m ok with that, he can tease me as much as he wants

        • shoot, he can use my belly button as an ashtray if he wants (I’m making an albiet reaching stretch reference to the ashtray in RM being “just there to tease him”….I fell I need to explain that, otherwise if you didn’t get the connection you might think my comment SERIOUSLY random and somewhat disturbing. But it’s ok. I’m Normal)

          • no need to explain belive me i memorized all words Tyler says after watching soo many times the RM trailer
            i’m normal too
            and mine too 🙂
            i’m a big hater smoking but when it comes to Rob everything is ok
            i did even consider to start once (no way! i didn’t )

          • Belly button ashtray with RM references = ftw!

  5. Dear Rob,
    be honest, the whole Edward costume disaster was your idea! The Tweed, the pants, the other pants, and all the rest made you looking like an ol’vampire!All I can say is, that you have no clue about WHY WE watched NM!
    Huge failure honey!
    Me

    P.S. But your chest was HOT! 🙂

    Dear (lucky) costume designer of NM
    Admit! Rob dazzled you!
    So it’s not your fault.
    Me

    P.S. I wanna have your job!

    • Snow White Driftted-
      Loved ‘metropire’. Maybe Rob was missing his red velvet jacket from the HP and BMH days and just needed a little velvet to inspire him.

    • That’s all I thought when she blaimed the costume designer. I was like ‘It’s not her fault Robward dazzled her!!’
      and I want to have her job too… probs next time?

  6. I have mixed feelings on Rob’s NM wardrobe. On the one hand, I think it was terrible because he did look like an old insurance salesman and it was in no way as flattering or as hot as his Twilight wardrobe. But, on the other had, he (Edward) is 100+ years old…and old men wear tweed and khakis. So while, it was not nearly as hot, it did seem to be more character accurate. Although, if the Cullens were really trying to blend in, wouldn’t they be up to date on fashion trends. Wouldn’t Alice dress them all?

    It’s totally normal that I’ve thought all of this through, right?

    Maybe in Eclipse we’ll finally get that sleeveless white button up shirt with a tan sweater over it that Stephenie teased us with in Twilight.

    • I think we were commenting at the same time. 🙂

    • “sleeveless white button up shirt with a tan sweater”

      Oh my. Our man’s gonna be a total boxtease in that saucy ensemble!

      • Has anyone ever seen a man’s sleeveless white button up shirt? Me neither.

        • Certainly not on a straight man.

          • it makes me think of a Chippendales dancer-white sleeveless shirt, tiny black underwear and bow tie. Voila.

      • here it is-just imagine the khakis..

        I bet his Chippendales undies are under those jeans.

        • That is soooooo horrible

        • Arghhh….WHAT’S that??…I mean we have ugly things here as well, but compared with THAT I prefer the white socks in sandals!!! 🙂

          • I think it scared robgirl.
            Does Chippendales even exist anymore?

            RG- its a series of clubs that feature ‘entertainment’ for (mostly) women to see men (looking very much like in the link) who ‘dance’ and strip down to their underwear while the screamingly drunk woman catcall and try to grope the men. the men are required to dress a certain way and the sleeveless white button up shirt was involved.

            As Alice- NAA points out below, its was very 90’s and even 80’s- it was way ‘cooler’ with the collar popped up.

          • The chippendales are still around. LOL Gotta watch for the sabretooths loose in the club when they’re around.

            Though I would PERFER that the men wear their white Calvin Kleins manties. HELLOOOO………. have you see Kellen?? RAWR.

          • THX drsaka for your explanation…..I would never drool over a man wearing this……..but NO judge!
            Just two questions…who PAYS? The men or the women? And..where these “men” put the sleeves?
            …and I think I know already the answer….
            🙂

          • Not even cougars go there. It was gross in the 90’s.

          • 2 things:
            Robgirl, did Rob really take your mind and you forgot that extreme “ridiculousness” and embarassement existed (hello!!! the Chippendales)?
            Draska I appreciate your fine knowledge of the phenomenon. What a culture! 🙂

          • minuit…me is perhaps too young to know them!!!! and why DO YOU know them honi???

          • Yeah, I’ve got all sorts of stuff cluttering up my mind. Not good for work, but useful in some situations. Not that I know about Chippendales from personal experience (really).

          • For those of you unfamiliar with Chippendales:

          • Robgirl
            I may be 20 smth but I know EVERYTHING.
            Everybody has heard at least one cheesy joke about the Chippendales. I can’t believe you haven’t heard of it.

          • hahaha
            dazzeled thank you for your kindness, but that wasn’t necessary. really. 🙂 I will not press play, since I don’t want to be sex traumatised for tonight. PLus, it’s Friday. C’mon.

          • minuit…never heard of them…so I lived under a rock…looking at the video….I will remain under the rock….gahhhh!!!

          • Don’t know what’s worse…Lederhosen or THAT…And esp. my mental images of Rob in combination with one of them…I don’t know what’s wrong with my mind today…Somehow it’s very creative on a visual level today…That’s OK, but not in combination with those particular items…

        • I wish you’d have left that in the nineties. It was doing no harm there.

        • Dazzled, I supposed if a tee shirt, wife beater and dress shirt could copulate, that would be the result.
          *shudders

    • ‘the sleeveless white button up shirt with a tan sweater over it that Stephenie teased us with in Twilight’.

      I remember reading that and thinking WTF? Really, a sleeveless button up shirt???

      • All Edward’s clothes described in the book were hideous. I guess he could dazzle Bella past the fact that he had no fashion sense. Then again, neither did she.

        • I was confused by this. When he takes off the tan sweater for the hike, I had to go back and re-read what he was wearing when he showed up at her door. Then I re-read the taking off the sweater bit again and I couldn’t understand what he was wearing (and why).

          Maybe I just really liked that Edward was taking clothing off!

          • He had on a long tan sweater, the infamous white shirt and leggings. Not really-jeans. What guy wears a long sweater?

          • see comment above by superhumanmoron

          • Hahaha!!! Exactly.

        • Ugh, yes, the book clothes were so bad! I remember reading Bella describing her “going to meet the family” outfit consisting of a long beige skirt and some shirt. I thought WTF? Even a tomboy living in the sticks isn’t shopping from the Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman collection.

      • Seriously. And the fact that Bella had a matching ensemble? What?! StephMeyer (long live the queen) should not be allowed near the costume department. Ever. Anyone remember her dresses to the premieres? I rest my case.

        • Exactly.

        • It’s time for another letter to Stephenie (who we love).

          • And it’s because we love her, that she needs a letter. And Clinton and Stacey.

    • Yay! Fashion talk, great post!

      I do agree that Edward’s 100 plus years old and that’s why tweed, vests and such wardrobe items are not such a far fetch, young man were wearing that back in the day.

      BUT I also think that the Twilight wardrobe was much better; I mean, Edward knows that he has to blend in with the normal folks…Tweed jackets for a 17 year old does not say blending in…It says; eccentric, probably gay…haha…Not immortal hottie…

      But on the other side I can imagine (sorry, shoot me) that Rob chose some of that tweed…Because somehow it shows Edwards human side, to me it seems that I’d like to hold on to something from the time when I was still human if I was immortal. I could see Rob using that logic, if he did choose part of the wardrobe…

      I do agree that beige on a pale complexion (being a pale girl myself), is not a good idea, but I think they choose it because that scene was all in shot in soft ligt, like a hazy dream…

      And to my shame I have to admit, that I like vests…(ducks and hides)
      And tweed also…Uhm, it’s just so British and really something Rob would never wear normally…But I sort of enjoy him indulging his countryside style…
      I know, I’m crazy…;-)

      Hate khaki pants though!!! And coincidence is, that while I’m typing this, some guy from queer eye for the straight eye is declaring on a show I’m watching that Khaki pleat pants don’t look good on anyone…haha…Talking about synchronicity…

    • Yeah, let’s remember it was Smeyer herself that described the matching beige sweaters E and B wore to the meadow, and I think she mentioned Edward wearing beige “slacks” at another point. I’ll blame her Mormon upbringing for the general boring tastelessness of the clothing choices.

      • Oh, I should read the comments first so I’m not being redundant! And I feel bad about ragging on Stephenie’s religion, but have you seen the guys that hang around airports trying to convert people to Mormonism. That’s the fashion sense I’m talking about.

        • I heart you Old One.

      • Soooo agree with you! I mean beige, it’s just so beige…For khaki the same…I just think that if you were immortal and such, you’d prefer more of an edgier look…Even if you try to blend in. They would probably look less suspicous if all the Cullen kids were goths…Instead of dressing up all beige…

        • That’s a great idea, Cath. If the Cullens dressed as Goths no one would think twice about the white skin, sun-avoidance, emo behavior, etc.

          • Thanks Old One,it just occured to me. I guess it’s one of those things that’s almost too logical and stares one in the face, and that’s why you just overlook it. They would make perfect sense as Goths…But coming back to the mormonism, I don’t think they really are down with Goths. (Don’t ask me why she was down with the immortals. It’s one big contradiction. Vampires being the ultimate Goths, even the sensitive, romantic ones)

            I’d say black is the new beige…I especially have been missing a great black designer leather jacket on Edward. That’s classic AND brings out the hot…

      • TOO, what, you dare to blame Mormon religion? Good. Cause apparently that doesn’t shock anyone.

  7. Edward might be pushing 100 but immortal vampires named Cullen are supposed to BLEND IN. With their respective age group they were frozen in. Not the geriatrics at the nursing home.

    • Exactly.

    • LOL @ “geriatrics”!
      Exactly! Edward’s chaste old soul may yearn for the tweed and vests, but he must suck it up and rock the smexy jeans and tight tees like all the other 17 year olds so he doesn’t call more attention to himself than he already receives.

      Also, being rich doesn’t mean you have to wear old folks clothes. Designer clothes do not necessarily = serious attire. We know this from all the celebrihoors. Alice should sex it up more too.

      • I agree! Suck it up, Edward, and borrow some clothes from Rob for once. How about that Stoli tee and some shiteous Nikes for a start? You can skip the too-small bomber jackets though.

        • Mmmmm. Now that would be my kind of Edward!

        • LOL, somehow I think that IF Edward had a coffin he’d role around in it, at the thought of having to wear Rob’s clothes…haha…Cracks me up though, the thought of Edward dressed in plaid…

  8. Yep the tweeds are cool. The white stuff stinks bad. Maybe a hot tweed suit with a ski cap that says go Eagles. Or a tweed suit with a green shirt.
    http://bobbygee.wordpress.com/

  9. Vests do not frolic. -> ftw!

    • Yeah, what’s with the attempt at getting vests to be okay again (see Rob’s photoshoot in the sweat pants and vest combo). And you’re right- vests do not frolic!

  10. I just think Rob looked a zillion times better in Twilight compared to New Moon, full stop!

    The clothes, the hair, the PECS (you know, in that one scene.) OK, so the make up was better in NM, but I liked the boufant!

    “Black pants are universally hot. Black is the new black.” This is a statement I am 100% behind – OK, so maybe it is vampire cliche-erific, but I kind of wish Edward was in a black shirt and black trousers for the entire saga. ‘Cause that shits hot. Throw a black tie on that bad boy for the more formal scenes, and I am died.

    • I definitely agree with you. Across the board Rob looked better in Twilight. I liked the boufant, too! Frankly, I thought he looked way older than 17 in New Moon, and the tweed wasn’t helping matters…

      Mmm… I’m with you on the black tie.

    • I miss the bouffant too. And the peacoat.

    • Edward’s prom attire made me think of unspeakable things.

      Finest prom date ever.

      • He looked soooooo good!!! sigh*

      • Did you ever notice that his skin tone is almost normal at the prom? I went back and watched Twilight for the cough*cough time and thought this:

        In the beginning we get the powder puff makeup and the Maybelline #347 red lipstick, but by the kissing scene, its not too bad. Do you think that they deliberately made the makeup more human progressively through the movie?

        Sorry if this has been discussed before, but I was just wondering.

        • That’s a great question! Never thought about that one. There must’ve been a reason behind that. Maybe he got to look less colder because he found Bella/Love.

          He also looks extremely bad in New Moon at the Volturi scene. Very, very grayish pale. Later on he looks more human again. I think you’re right. It’s strange though, although I like the reasoning behind it, their skintone shouldn’t be able to change. I mean, being all marble like and immortal…

        • drsaka,
          I love your attention to detail and you ideas about making him look more human as the movie progresses.

          xoxo
          lion

        • I don’t think it was on purpose, since they didn’t film the scenes in the same order as the final movie. Just low budget, bad continuity! But that’s why we love it.

          • You’re right, it could have just been crappy film making. See how much I (we) read into everything!!!!

          • So true, I always forget that they filmed the fight scene first and there is no order to the filming, typically.

          • Yeah, scenes are not shot chronologically…
            Still dig the theory though…But it also has to do with bad continuity…
            But apparently somehow it was so bad, that it turned out great at the same time…Even discoloured Edward…I like the poetic reasoning of drsaka…

        • Vampire’s complexion are supposed to get less pale/ greyish after the feed.

          Like in Interview with a Vampire.
          Why do I know this?

          Edward must have gone to the all-you-can-catch- mountain lion buffet before the prom.

      • Edward’s prom attire made me think of unspeakable things.

        Me to Mountainlion me too… *sigh*

  11. I’m not a fan of the tweed, either. I was a fan of the James Dean, look-at-my-shirt-billow-in-the-breeze Parking LotWard.
    I’m totally playing devil’s advocate here, but the velvet lapels are all Bella’s fault. I mean, they’re in HER dream…and we’re all quite aware that she has no fashion sense. And Khaki-Fest and Frolic 2011? That’s Alice’s fault. But remember, she can see the future…so maybe retro Ingalls family will be what’s hot that season.
    Speaking of Alice and wardrobe fail….

    • Yeah, Alice is supposed to be the fashionista- major fail, Alice!
      ‘Retro Ingalls family”- brill! If Edward comes back dressed in super high-waisted pants with suspenders, we’ll know that you were right!

      • 🙂 the suspenders, no Rob, just NO!

        • Not all suspenders are bad !!!!

          Some are good really really good !!!!

          • Yeah, when they’re drawing your attention to his hips and crotch areas, okay!
            But the traditional usage, nonono for a hawt immortal stuck at 17.

          • That aren’t suspenders, that are sex-hips ADORNED with ribbons!!!

      • “Edward dressed in super high-waisted pants with suspenders”. I’d totally dig that. Just sayin’…

        • I think there was some of that in “Little Ashes” where they’re wearing the white linen pants whilst riding bicycles. Very manly. We won’t talk about some of the other things he wears in that movie. A whole different subject.

          • T.O.O.
            What about the head scarves? One of my fav. scenes…

      • Mehhh, I agree, I just don’t get a fashionista vibe of Alice, just don’t…With all that money, imagine what she COULD wear. She should be more Victoria Beckham and less, well…I don’t know who to compare Alice with stylewise…I would have like to see THE heels, The It-Bags and so on…That’s how true fashionista’s roll…

    • Retro Ingalls Family”-FTW!!!

  12. Retro Gilbert Blythe! <– Cracked me up! While that vest was absolutely ridiculous, there are cases where a vest can be a good thing. See: Jackson Rathbone. Just saying…

    • I think Johnny Depp might have rocked a vest in his time – the key is layers and attitude! Rob needs an unbuttoned shirt under the vest… and to have a cigarette on the go… and run his hand through his mussed up tresses…. mmmmmm….

      WOAH. Sorry.

      • Oh yeah, Johnny Depp has rocked the vest a time or two! With an unbuttoned shirt… and a cigarette… and messy hair… haha. Okay, Rob, start taking lessons from Johnny!

    • He’s rocked a vest once before, no? Not that denim studded one, that was bad news. But wasn’t there a photoshoot of him in a black pinstripe vest playing a piano or something? My Googling skillz aren’t strong like Harry’s kung fu, so I can’t find it… but I swear that it’s not just my imagination.

  13. I think most of the wardrobe choices in NM were horrible. But aside from that, it hurts the continuity of the series. In the books, Edward doesn’t go from being a 17 year old to being a 40 year old banker. But in the movies, he does. From the few pics we’ve seen of Eclipse, it looks like they’re going back to dressing him like a high school student. Guess he decided the financial industry wasn’t for him. Or maybe he lost his job, like so many other unfortunate people in that field. In any case, I hope they don’t screw up again in BD. That will have enough problems without screwing up the wardrobe too.

    • Hahaha, that was exactly the problem! Rob’s too old to be playing Edward for multiple movies in the first place, so dressing him like an out-of-work broker was just ridiculous. Though, he did look quite serious. 🙂

  14. LOVE THIS LETTER! I have had such issues with the god-awful wardrobe (and make up/hair) departments in these movies. Honestly. I hope I meet one of them someday. So I can burst into tears and sob in front of them for making our hot, sexy, HARD man look like he’s trying to sell me my recalled Corolla.

    “When we picture Edward’s pants on our bedroom floor, they are not khakis.” and “A hot, rich, 17 year old immortal is NOT going to be sportin’ the Florsheims.”

    PREACH!

  15. FOTC BUSINESS TIME FTW!!!!

    I hated most of the clothing in NM, but it’s a far sight better than what SMeyer had dreamed up originally. Let us not forget she had him hiking in sleeveless button downs…

    • maybe it was trend at Phoneix in 2003 🙂

  16. “A hot, rich, 17 year old immortal is NOT going to be sportin’ the Florsheims.”

    LMAO!

    I do love the black pants that he’s wearing at the end of New Moon when he confronts Jacob in the forrest. Wardrobe department got one that right!
    If there’s anything that needs a total remake it’s Alicie’s f*cked up wardrobe….it scares me.

    • Say it sister! Alice is lots of things, but NO style icon the way they’re dressing her…

  17. Vests mean business. Ha! Well done, Snow White!
    I don’t really even get what they were trying to do with that flashback scene. Are they switching the story up and foreshadowing that once Bella becomes a vampire, they will also ride in a time traveling machine back to 1918?
    Why couldn’t they have shown them in the cottage, lounging by the fire, Edward with his shirt off and Bella in something at least semi-stylish?
    I have to whole heartedly agree that Edward’s wardrobe in Twilight was one thing that was for sure way better. Honestly, Edward’s whole look in Twilight is better. I can’t look at him in New Moon without thinking he looks like a constipated grandpa.

    • Or, more to the point, lounging by the fire in the cottage with her ripped lingerie and his pants thrown in the corner. Now that would be the flash-forward I’d like to see . . .

      • Amen!

      • My mind went to exactly the same place, T.O.O.

        • We are much alike, you and I.

    • NOT intending to sound like a stick-in-the-mud, cuz I so love the flashforward to cottage/fireplace/strewn clothing much much better than “The Frolic”, but I think the idea was to have Bella “sparkle” so that it was a confirmation she was indeed turned.

      • Get out of the mud, Abs, and into the gutter with the rest of us–she could have red eyes in our flash-forward if you must be a stickler!

      • My thoughts exactly, TOO! Let the light from the fire make her skin sparkle and show that her eyes are amber, but good lord with the frolick!
        Come hither to the gutter, abs 😉

        • Ok, I’m back in the gutter, ladies. I’m back in the gutter 🙂 Aaaaaaah, that’s better.

          • The gutter is my happy place.

          • Mine, too! See, we’re the same!

  18. My response in the theater when that scene appeared, was “Are you kidding me?” I actually said that out loud. What were they thinking? Why didn’t Rob and Kristen say something, like “This is so stupid!!”

    Too awful for words…

    I liked Rob in the dark grey coat, though. I thought he looked too beautiful in that scene.

    I just like to focus on his strut across the parking lot.**sigh**

    • Oh, the slo-mo strut in the parking lot… Le sigh. Is there a gid of that somewhere or what?

      • *gif, rather.

        • Like this one?

          http://tiny.cc/HHpG8

          • This one’s better:

            Working the parking lot:http://tiny.cc/SP5AV

          • Oh, Cath! Please be my Valentine for posting that.

          • I sooo needed that today. Thanks.

          • Ha! You’re welcome! I feel honored, but you still have some time to find another one before Valentine’s Day…Although I’m a cheap date…haha…;-)

          • Thanks, Cath. That was just what I needed!!!

          • THAT was NICE. Thank you

  19. btw…snow white drifted…i think i have a crush on you!

    you nailed it all and i looooooove costume design! this was an awsome read for a dreary friday morning.

  20. i think not just wardrobe but his make up was worse than Twilight and of course hair too.he looked absolutely older.but it wasn’t all awfull he was good at “slow walk” scene

  21. “Unborn Resemee is frightened that she will be swaddled in hot pink Lederhosen” …. omg. let the nightmares begin (again).

    Also a thought about the Khakis. As a former American Midwesterner turned Canadian, men in khakis always remind me of “home.” If you go through the Detroit, Cleveland, Minneapolis or Cincinnati airports, they’re swarming with men in khakis. Maybe Edward is wearing khakis as an ode to his hometown.

    Forget it. Hot men do not wear khakis. Pudgy washed-up manufacturing managers on a regional jet flight to Grand Rapids with cell phones clipped to their belts do.

    Rich, undead 17 year olds definitely wear designer jeans, no matter what city they’re from.

    Great letter!

    • Uhhh operarose…I skipped the “Lederhosen” quote, as a german I’m a huge expert of this bavarian pants = NOBODY should wear them, N.O.B.O.D.Y.!!!!

      • Not even at the Oktoberfest, Robgirl??? 😉

      • NO WAY for Lederhosen & Oktoberfest & red-white plaid + Edelweiss..gahhh…..I truly hate that we are known in the world for these bavarian things!!! 🙂

        • I feel your pain Robgirl, although I know that Germany’s way more that that. (love some Weissbier though…) I just think Berlin! It rocks! Forget about the Lederhosen!

          • thanks Cath…and yeah….Berlin rocks!!! and Cologne as well!!!

          • Yeah, went to some great gigs in Cologne. (Aber das ist leider schon viel zu lange her… ;-))

        • But Rob could wear almost everything and I would be all over it. Seriously Robgirl… imagine him in Lederhosen!! I did and I need to take a cold shower again…

      • Hahaha! Well I guess no lederhosen for DH anymore!

        He wore it when he was a teen and working at a German restaurant. He had the whole outfit down to the shoes and socks!!!! We got pictures!

        And his twin’s wedding song was Edelweiss. :-).

        • Horrible…..I prefer the orange pants of Chris W.!!!

        • Edelweiss! Classic! Why? Do they both love ‘The Sound Of Music?

          (and I don’t know why, but all of sudden I’ve got a mental image of Rob in Lederhosen…help…)

          • brain bleach, quick!

          • Cath, I have no clue. My husband and his fam grew up in a huge German town. The whole city is decorated like Bavaria, it’s a tourist spot actually. In reality hubby is 2nd generation Irish-American. LOL. And he absolutely hated that lederhosen outfit. Haha.

            Now I have no clue why the wedding song was Edelweiss, obviously his brother is also Irish descent, the bride was Polish. I have no idea! They even did a little German dance. It was so funny.

            Robgirl no offense, you know I heart you. I know you hate these stereotypes.

          • Holy crap, Rob no lederhosen please!!!!

          • SB…your avi is HOT!!! 🙂

          • Haha SB, and that for an Irish-American, your poor hubby!
            And also a dance…too funny!

            And yes, brain bleach please…(or just a hot Robpic WITHOUT lederhosen…)

          • Yeah, cool new avi, SB!

  22. “Can I open you a checking account?” LOL – brills!

    Forgive me, I haven’t read the comments. But I read the letter and I totally agree. New Moon = wardrobe fail. Bigtime. With the exception of his outfit in the slo-mo walk in the school parking lot.

    I liked how Laineygossip called the velvet-trimmed dress coat “banker douche.” So true.

    I may or may not have made my husband do away with his leather jacket this week and I may or may not have made him wear his navy pea coat, witch collar up, all week. Like this:

    http://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/features/2009/12/robert-pattinson-outtakes-D-200912#slide=17

    In the one still I’ve seen from Eclipse, it looks like Casual Edward is back. Plaid and all.

    • TippyL = TLG (youngerthanUma) – oops!

  23. Snow~

    I wouldn’t want to be the “act” that followed SS’s brilliance yesterday, but you brought it and I love people that have great fashion sense and ideas!!!!

    YOu had me at “only Lestat can pull off velvet.”

    xoxo
    lion

    • snow= awesome today
      SS = awesome yesterday
      all awesome girls here……!!!
      it’s all fun!

      • Thanks for clarifying so well, what I was trying to say to Snow, robgirl, but I may have failed.

        I guess I need my English to be interpreted to German and then back to English to get my point across….

        Snow = awesome post today!!

        xoxo
        Lion

        • lion…..LION!!! what? I understand NOTHING! you like “lederhosen”????
          hahahaha

    • It could’ve been worse, far worse:

      ‘Red velvet and that little boy’s smile’:http://tiny.cc/G9FAA

      Those shoes…uhm…

      Yeah, only Lestat…

      • can’t forget the shoes- this whole outfit was hilarious! I kind of love it!

  24. Flight Of The Conchords!!!!!! I love them!!!!

    “Can I help you open a checking account?” LMAO!!!!

  25. Great letter, SWD! I hope Summit sits up and takes notice, ’cause Rob isn’t getting any younger and the wardrobe person from NM doesn’t have a clue. And Flight of the Conchords Business Time! I love this site.

  26. Didn’t read the caption before: Classic!

    ‘Wait! Come Back! If not a checking account, how about a money market with a 3.5% APY?”

    Haha, it totally works!

  27. Metropire…totes in my vocabulary now. WIN!

  28. 4 – she owns “the bed”.
    Ooops, should have said solid post! Can’t wait on your next post!

    • OMG I HAVE A CLONE!!!!! (uncle Leo?)

      • LMAO!!!

        • so I’m not the only one seeing someone else post under my handle, right? I was beginning to think the daytime boozing was getting the better of me (I”m kidding…I mean about the daytime boozing…not kidding about the fact that I see someone else posting under my name…I’m a little weirded out by that now 😉 )

          • I see it, too, Abs, but please tell us about Uncle Leo. lmao.

    • Talking about Twiligt Zone-ish…*shivers* 😉

  29. That “Business Time” video is SOOO funny!! Maybe because it hit a little close to home, lol.

    I’m going to have to work really hard to get that out of my head now. I think a little fanfiction might be the perfect antidote…..

    • Fanfic seems to be the perfect antidote to everything.

  30. Seriously? You people never really read the books. He wore sweaters AND khakis! He dressed conservative, not the crappy way he was dressed in Twilight the film

    • there are BOOKS!?

      • bwaaahhaaaahahaahha! That made my night!

    • I read the books, & when i did every time mrs stephanie meyer said some nonsense like Khakis or turtle neck sweater, in my mind i thought Jeans & v neck shirt. Let’s face it Stephanie isn’t really up to speed on fashion, but that’s OK no biggie she gave us the twilight series that we all love… so we can let it slide. But in the movie not so much… don’t really want to think of Edward as a grandpa… much rather think of him in tight v necks, thermals, tight jeans where i could possibly see a litte PO (peen outline 🙂 ) ya know the good stuff. That’s not to much to ask! The only good outfit E got to wear in new moon was in the slow mo sex walk from the car in the parking lot… they should have kept that look going.

    • We all don’t read or write too goo.

      • I love you.

        Have you seen the Creme Egg ads over here in the UK? I don’t know how you’d find them, but they’re really goo.

  31. Great post and I agree with the clothing choices. It was kind of a fail for me as well. I don’t hate the tweed, it actually grew on me, but I didn’t like the red velvet or velour jacket that Edward wore. And I cringed at the khaki pants. I would have loved for him to wear something like Armani suit…or maybe just some dark black pants with the white shirt. You’re right the khaki color washes him out, he’s so pale.

    I do love the parking lot scene, I love his outfit there….simplicity is beauty.

    Twilight Edward had some awesome wardrobe. Ahem I may have bought every single look-alike so I can dress my hubby like Edward. 😉

    But I like Rob as well and so I also bought a ton of plaid and whatever similar clothes he wears. My DH will never wear those Nike’s that Rob wears, very unfortunate.

    • This cracks me up, you dressing your hubby up as Edward and Rob…LOVE dressing men up…Have to find me my own hubby to dress up…Uhm, like soon…Or…

      Dear Rob,

      You’re still available for playing dress up? I’m sure Kstew’s okay with it…

      Love,

      Cath

      • Cath you know my brother makes fun of me but in a good way(or I’ll kick his butt). He wears a lot of plaid too and each time he will take a pic of himself and send it to me. He will say “is this plaid enough for you?” LOL. He knows I love Rob and he’s never judged me about that.

        Yes on your comment, it’s nice to dress up men. 🙂 I certainly enjoy buying DH’s clothes and watching him transform.

        • SB- great new avatar!!!

          • Drsaka thanks. That’s how I look when I want to pull my hair out.

  32. […] LTR ; LTT ; RAoR ; Rmw […]

  33. Wardrobe…hair…makeup…all sucked in NM. I find it so interesting that perhaps even only a year ago, people were getting down on Catherine, “oh poor Cathy did the best she could with what she had”…me included…when the reality is that she made a kickass movie that had some sense of reality to it. All the actors looked more their parts, clothes were more real, hair certainly was, and the makeup was not as fakey-pasty as NM.

    I’ll take Edward Scissorhands Jasper over poodle-hair grandma wig Jasper any day.

    I’m loving Twiight more day by day. Saw it in the theatre at least dozen times. Seen NM twice. I’m just hoping and praying Slade doesn’t completely screw the pooch on it. If so, maybe it would be a blessing to have CH back for BD. It needs a woman’s touch, I’m afraid. Can’t for the life of me figure out why they went with male directors.

    But I figured NM is all about Taylor and the wolves and since they don’t wear clothes most of the times, they all look pretty good! Please, David, don’t let Edward look like a geek in Eclipse.

    • Do we know if they used the same wardrobe and makeup people in Eclipse and New Moon, since they were filmed so close together? This information is out there somewhere. Too lazy to Google it.

  34. Looked it up at IMDB, and yes, the same…
    I also don’t understand why they went with male directors. It does need a bit of a woman’s touch, although there’s not much choice in H’wood. A guy could do a good job, I just feel Chris Weitz forgot ‘the romance’ a little…And that’s my fear for Eclipse as well…But hey, here’s hoping for the better…

  35. I remember people laughing in that ‘ho-mo’ part at the theaters….both times I watched it.

    I sunk in my seat more. So embarrassing.

    Def something wrong with that scene.

    OH! and the elevator scene with the awkward elevator music? wtfuckery was that?! Why Weitz? WHY?!

    • ps. How did Edward go from Highschool chic to Retirement fund old man? talk about looking like a creepy ass-grabbing older uncle you stay away from on holidays. Though he can soo grab mine anytime he wants.

      oh wait. Scratch all of the above…He IS a retirement fund old man. PFFT!

      • I’ve read the EW interview I linked below with the costume designer…And what I got from it, that we can blame the old man look completely on Rob…He got his way…haha…

  36. Also:http://www.examiner.com/x-4908-Twilight-Examiner~y2009m11d30-Costume-director-reveals-The-Twilight-Saga-New-Moon-wardrobe-decisionmaking-processes

    Apparently Rob wasn’t a fan of the peacoat…And wanted to portray him more as a gentleman…

    • What was he thinking? Thanks for sharing, Cath.

      • All part of the mystery of Rob (that we desperately want to solve).

    • You have all the good links again today, Cath! Thx.

    • A gentleman? Oh, I think I just fell in love even more with Rob! Is that even possible?

  37. Sorry if this is repeating a comment made by anyone else, but in the movie, Edward did wear teenage-appropriate attire to school and before Bella’s b-day party. He changed into the tweed outfit to dress up for Bella’s b-day party and then basically never changed his clothes after that. After the attack by Jasper, he made the decision to leave Bella and he withdrew himself from the human world–no need to change clothes if you could care less about the world and keeping up any kind of appearance.

    Also–I kind of saw the change from high school clothes to more adult clothes (okay, older adult clothes…) as a subtle sign that he wasn’t going to need to pretend to be 17 for much longer…

    ps-sorry for any typos–my laptop keyboard and mouse do not like me very much.

    pps-hilarious post and comments–I love this blog!!!

    • I see your point. However, if Edward will dress up for a party, it wouldn’t be like that. He’s much more fashionable and tries to update to the latest trend even though he’s 109 yrs old because they want to be able to blend with the humans.

      I’m afraid the costumes for Eclipse would still be a FAIL since they used the same costume designer as in New Moon. And why is Edward’s hair so short in Eclipse (based on a single official photo and paps pics)? I miss his bouffant! He looks a just normal human now.

  38. Sorry I am a bit late today, but I just had to say how much I love you today! Rob and Flight of the Conchords. My two absolute fave things in the world. Now I must add UC to this fave list!

    Love the letter Snow White Drifted!

  39. Actually Edward wears khaki pants during the honeymoon in Breaking Dawn

  40. hahah omg, its so true, i was so disssapointed when i saw his clothes on new moon. he dresses like a old guy and not like a 17 year old trying to fit in.. hahah

    everything was wrong. i think the only moment he looked close to normal was at the school scene w the grey shirt and thats it, hahaha the rest of the times he dressed like an old man! haha sorry but thats the truth, haha.
    something i didnt like was that in twilight he dressed kinda normal and in new moon they change eerything and it looks weird coz he passes from dressing normal to dressing liek an old man and also, from some pics ive seen from eclipse, he goes back to dressing normal.. thats gonna look awkward.

    but what i hated the most from the vision is that i always imagined the dress bella wore to be like really short and sexy but this is all the contrary. its long and looks like alice in wonderland or smthng like that, ahahahha..

  41. Awesome post! You had me with ho-mo and then I got a Flight of the Conchords ref too!! I should have read yesterday! Great job.

  42. *LMAO* This was a brilliant post! 🙂 You hit the nail right on the frickin’ head. The Alice-vision of Edward in khaki & Bella running like a demented doll had the opposite reaction from the audience than I’m sure was intended BOTH times I saw it.

    The audience literally wet themselves laughing. It was by far the most camp-tastic and lame scene in the entire movie and I’m fairly darn sure that was not the reaction that Chris was going for.

    I remember when the still picture came out and I was pretty stoked at the idea of a scene involving them both in vampire form, but the reality of the final product was like Mills’n’Boon meets a Ed Hardy catalogue.

    Edward…love…just say NO! As for the Bella-dress….I don’t have the energy to go there. I was too distracted by the craptastic hair & make-up job. She looks like a gangly lamb one leg shake away from death with that hideous blue shade to her skin.


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