There’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for this…

Were you planning on throwing out that shirt? I have an old holey pair of jeans that would look great with it...

Dear Rob,

So you and Kristen were caught, huh? Are you freaking out? You thought you had at least another year plus didn’t you? Until Breaking Dawn promotion began and you and Kristen were inevitably on a late night TV show where they introduce a clip from the film and you realize it’s “the one” and decide to right then and there kiss Kristen with tongue in front of the live audience so that they don’t have to see the disaster that is the Breaking Dawn birth scene on film? Don’t panic. Sure the Robsteners are celebrating the moment of you, Kristen & the little girl who has a shoe on her shirt, but the nonsteners still aren’t convinced. Take these two comments on came across on this blog’s version of the story:

Susannah says:
I dont think much of the British fan who gave the photo to the press. I dont consider them a fan, I consider them a betrayer. Is there any wonder that Robert and Kristen become more reluctant to pose with fans, if all that fan does is betray that kindness. Sorry Rob, I am in the UK and a more mature fan, and I am shamed that people in your home country can be so thoughtless of your privacy. Come on people wake up, they are not our property and are entitled to live private lives just as you and I are. I reiterate the early comment – leave them alone!!!!!!!!!!!

Jennifer says:
I think all this is bullcrap. The story is made up and the picture may be old. There is no actual proof that they are dating, yet everyone is eating up the stories that they are. Also, why can’t they just be friends? How come whenever they’re seen together outside of Twilight, they have to be dating. Geez louise, people. Just because you see two actors that play each onscreen love interest does not mean that they are dating. I don’t know why I said that. You all won’t

Jennifer says
That’s still not proof that they are dating…

You can fix this yet. And everyone else who doesn’t fit in the Nonsten or Robsten catagory? Aka the majority of the world? They don’t give a shit.

Here are some reasons you can give when you are asked the inevitable: Why is Kristen in the UK? Are you two together? Have you been sleeping together since she was underage? Did you make a deal with Chris Hansen that you’d stay away from Kristen until her 18th birthday as long as you’d introduce him to Ashley Greene? How is your love-making by the fire going? Is your bear-skin rub soft enough? I am confident you will find any of these answers satisfactory to explain why Kristen is visiting and you can, once again, go back to your private lives of pretending you’re not together:

• Kristen likes Dick. And wanted to visit him

• Kristen racked up some frequent flyer miles this year and had some time to kill over the New Years holiday and wanted to get out of LA since her two closest friends of days past (Nikki & Oregano) are on longer in her life. She decided to jump the pond to the UK and while there look up her buddy Rob for a few pints and fish & chips.

• Kristen found out Miley Cyrus & Lady Gaga have met the queen and got real pissed that she hasn’t had that chance yet. And the queen is old family friends with the Pattinson family so…

• You and Kristen are entering witness protection from Catherine Hardwicke
  More reasons after the jump!

• 

  Ugh, I call this shirt first.

  The real reason you and your sister Victoria or Lizzy but most likely Victoria were out together the other day is that she confessed to you that she likes girls. You thought, “BRILLIANT! I know just the girl for you” and flew Kristen over to the UK to introduce them properly.

• You are secretly performing in the bobsled competition at this year’s Winter Olympics in Vancouver. You’ve been practicing nonstop for the entire last year. Now everyone will understand why New Moon & Eclipse shot in Vancity! You got a head start on the competition by practicing on the mountains you’ll be competing on.

• The Queen is a Robsten-shipper and you literally had to BEG Kristen to come over and let you kiss her in front of some paps outside of Buckingham Palace. You’ve been really worried for your citizenship. There have been rumors….You’ve seen heads outside your windows at night….it wasn’t an easy thing… you had to promise you’d introduce Kristen to Prince William in return.. and you only met him once.. and you were drunk.. and you may have disgraced the Pattinson family name….

• Ya know those rumors of a big blow out Kristen & you had on set with Nikki Reed? They’re true. Turns out Nikki is a fan of the marmite while you prefer vegemite. Kristen was put in the middle. Unfortunately for her, Kristen chose your side since over the years you’ve convinced her all things British are superior, and she lost her friendship with Nikki. She decided to fly to the UK over the holiday season to do a proper taste test and, once and for all, answer the age-old question: What is better vegemite or marmite? And hopefully gain back the trust and friendship of Nikki Reed.

• The Queen is a Twigranny and really wanted to meet the famed “Bella” and “Edward” (she warned the British guard to “take down that Jacob fellow” if he came within 30 feet of the Palace)

• And Finally, WHO SAYS that both of those pictures were taken at the same time, at the same place or even on the same day? The little girl in the shoe t-shirt? Are we gonna believe HER? She SOLD you out by sending her personal pictures to a website. She probably made more MONEY by saying that they were taken on the same day and at the same time. Don’t you think if that was the case the 3 of you would have taken a picture together? What do you think she had YOU, Rob Pattinson, take that picture of her and Kristen? Have you ever seen yourself try to button a shirt? What makes anyone think you can hold a camera still enough to get a clear shot?

Let’s blame this on the little girl with a shoe on her shirt. Let’s start a campaign against her. She is trying to ruin everything- Kristen & your attempt at hiding from Catherine Hardwicke, your plot to retain your citizenship for the UK, the nonsten dream of one day Rob falling for them and the Robsten fantasy that you and Kristen have a sex life that is so sweaty, creative and frequent that you have no need to ever leave your hotel room.

I say down with the little girl with a shoe on her shirt!

Fired & up and reading to puchase “Downwiththelittlegirl.com,”
UnintendedChoice

What do you think? What other excuses could Rob & K come up with as to why Kristen is in the UK? Thanks to Calliope for helping me with some or today! XO

Psst: Was one of your new year’s resolutions to get in shape!? Join the club! no seriously.. Join the club. Big a big Loser in 2010 on the Forum is a place where you can join other Twi/Rob-loving friends to work towards your 2010 goal!!! Thanks to Emmeloowhoo and all the other gals!!!

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