Posted by: Bekah | December 11, 2009

Coo Coo for Pattinson

Dear Rob,

I’ve been hanging on to some of these letters for awhile now, I thought today might be a perfect day to pass them on… I took the liberty of responding to these letters. As you. Hope that’s okay…!

Is she the 1 to make you, the vampier, week at the nees?

Dear Robert,

Well what can i say, i was a girl who said to everyone around me that i would never read the books or watch the movie, funny to hear that now because i am well hooked the characters, i can never put the books down. It must be such a thrill to make the movies, it would be so much fun i mean travelling to different locations and seeing different sights. i actually saw an artical about you the other day and it got me thinking, you are in everyway like Edward, you arent to keen on dating anyone because you are famous and you dont want them involved with the media and just like Edward he didnt want to be with bella cause of what he was. A Vampier. Well all i can say is as long as you find that some who makes you happy, and gives you butterflies, and makes you weak at the knees, as long as they are the person you want to see every day and be the last person you see at night and the first you see in the morning then you will always be happy no matter what. That is what will be all that matters and you will be happy. hopefully that can happen for eveyone and hopefully everyone can be as happy as Edward and Bella

From Barbara Queen

Thank you for writing Ms. Queen. That artical was write. I am lik Edward in evryway. Im just lik a vampier. I hope to oneday be as hapy as Edward. He was a vary hapy guy.

Love,
Rob

Dear Rob,

Hi my name is Mary Parathan and i just saw New Moon like 2 hours ago and I think that it is my favorite movie in the world now!

– the one, the only,
MICKEY MOUSE! ºoº

Mickey!? You found me! My mum told me you weren’t real….

See who signs their letter as Winnie the Pooh after the jump!

"Happy Birthday Bella Lynn Smith"

Hello:

I am writing this not for me but my friend Lynn Smith. She is a mature lady of 68 not married and she adores Edward and Twilight. Her birthday celebration is January 2 where we work it would be awesome if Rob Pattison should just show up. Lynn was Alice for Halloween and she looked great. If he should possibly be in the Tampa, Florida area on January 2, it would make her so happy if he could come here in person for just 2 minutes to wish her a Happy Birthday. I know this is a long shot but I thought I would try she is a good hearted friend and I just wanted something special for her she has had a tough year financially along with the rest of us as well. Thanks for listening.

I’m interested in what you mean by “mature” lady of 68 means. Are there “immature” ladies of 68? All the 68 year old ladies whose birthday parties I go to seem fairly mature to me. Oh there was Ethel, grandmother of 14, who touched me in my no-no place, but I think she was just drunk. She got really upset because her depends leaked and so she loaded up on vodka prune juice.  Sure. I’ll come. Can you make sure Lynn has some candy though? I love it when the older ladies want to fatten me up.

To Robert Pattinson,

Iam a crazy girl in australia that is madly in love with you. I love your style,looks,voice and all together personality. We have sooo much in commen and trust me i have not changed myself for you besides my voice. When you come to australlia for your new moon premire i am coming to sydney to see you. My room is full of you that you can hardly see my walls and soo is my desk at school. All my friends would rather taylor lautner for there husband but i would by far chose you. I Do no that it will never work out and i probaly wont even get close to meeting you in sydney but i just want to let you know that you deffs have one crazy stalker. thankyou soo much for reading this if you do

lots of love,
ally pattinson xxxx

Hey! Pattinson is MY last name too. We do have so much in commen. See ya at your trial you crazy freak stalker in Sydney! -Rob

Detroit Rocks

Hello Rob,

I’m one of your recent fans, I watched Twilight a few months ago and now I cant get it off my mind, or you for that matter lol. My names Samantha and I’m from Detroit. I just wanted to say you’re a brilliant actor, and from watching interviews and such, you seem down to earth and a great person to be around. I know in an interview on the Ellen show you said no girls want to get in a relationship with you and commit. I just wanted to say that you are wrong! You must be looking in all the wrong places, like I have been. You’re a wonderful person and the perfect guy I think. I’m also a musician, I’ve been singing since I could talk, and your music is so inspiring. Let me Sign, I Was Broken and I’ll be your lover too are my favorites. For a college trip I was thinking of going to London, is there a certain place you recommend seeing? I heard it was beautiful there! Hopefully there will be a book signing or something near Detroit and I can meet you then!  I applied for an extra role in the film through talent hunter but never heard anything. My best friend I grew up with named Don Brocko is now an actor in Los Angeles, and he always talks about how hard it is going out in public or having a relationship, but keep your head up! You’re an amazing actor, musician, and person. Don’t let anyone tell you different. Well like I said I’m not sure if you will even read this but I am hoping you do. I look forward to your reply, or some kind of contact from you. Best Regards, and I cant wait to see you in “New Moon” and “Remember Me”. I wish it was easier to get in contact with you but hopefully you’ll come to Detroit soon, I’d love nothing more than to meet you! =)

-Samantha

Hey Sam! Do you just want to meet me? Or do you also wanna f*ck me? Cuz I’ll only come to Detroit if that’s your intention. Also- tell Don I said what’s up!? I haven’t seen him in awhile. I hope he’s doing okay as an out-of-work actor, keeping the paps off his back when he’s out in public and finding a real, true relationship with someone who loves him even though he’s an out-of-work nobody actor that no body has heard of. I’d love to do a book signing. Those are really fun. What should I sign this time? Since I never wrote a book it doesn’t really matter. I could sign..hmm… let’s see.. know of any good pregnancy books? That could be worth quite a big on Ebay. I’ll sign it “Aspiring young Dad, Rob Pattinson”

Um… people are crazy. I love that I have an opportunity to prove to you in my daily letters to you on the blog I run about you how not crazy I am. Happy Friday!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

*I change most details on these crazy letters, including the names. I wish I didn’t have to… I wish I could tell you where the woman who has the 68 year old friend works. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you, but I wish I could. It’s not at an insane asylum- working in custodial in the kitchen for $.25/hour since she’s committed. I can understand why you might think that…

Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum, LTT, Twitter


Responses

  1. “Do you just want to meet me? Or do you also wanna f*ck me? Cuz I’ll only come to Detroit if that’s your intention.”

    *raisehand* same here!
    ……….

    awwww. so naughty.

    • That would be my intention of he ever came to Iowa!

    • All of the responses were hysterical but that one was what really got me.

  2. Hoooooly shiz.
    That is crazy.
    P.S. Edward is a vampier?! Holy crow! Here I was thinking he was just a regular old vampire. I’m so pissed.

    Oh and the spelling and grammar KILL ME.

    • sooooo mean 😉

      “vampier” is the german spelling of “vampire”. i guess she just mixed it up 🙂

      • german: “Vampir”
        perhaps she mixed it up with french?
        minuit?

        • It’s Dutch! Or just bad spelling!

        • Vampier is how you spell it in Dutch. In french it would also be vampire.

        • Nope, not French either. I think she’s all (mixed) messed up.

        • OMG – LOL

          german = vampir – of course!!… i should have known. *facepalm* (and ashamed)

          …go sit in the corner..

        • Spanish, Italian & Portuguese = Vampiro
          I know I’m sad/obsessive etc. etc.

    • I think she just mispelled it! lol.

    • The spelling makes me afraid for the future.
      Why can’t people grasp basic spelling skills?
      I will say that the letters are damn hilarious.

  3. I wish those weren’t real. I really wish those weren’t real. I’ve been rendered speechless once again.

    • me too

    • I’m glad they are real. Maybe I’m evil. But now I want to sing like Homer: “I am so smart, I am so smart. S-M-R-T. I mean, S-M-A-R-T”.

  4. I love vampiers.

    • …and Detroit Rob….sexy muuuvvv!

      • ähemm..I mean Detroit Rocks Rob!
        Love me some chewing gum…lol

        • My goodness girl, aren’t you supposed to be baking a cake today? LOL.

          • I guess someone just secretly went to the small store of an Italian family who happen to do great deserts.

          • You both are sooooo mean…:-)
            Tirami su Rob!

          • 1. Girl I’m giving you lazy professional advice. No one can do it better than me.
            2.Tirami su Rob inspires me smth SOFT, and that’s not how i”d like (him) it to be.:)

        • I want that gum.

          • museum gum?

          • Do you mean will I put it in a museum (or sell it on e-bay)? No way. I want a taste.

    • Me too. Just as much as I love wearwolfes. (I’m sorry. I couldn’t resist. I’m being mean….)

      • LMAO!

  5. OMG- these are tragically hilarious!

    If Rob ever sees any letters to him that are like these, what must he think? That everyone is nuts, a poor speller and terrible at grammar and did I mention, nuts?

    If he has seen letters like these, then his cordial behavior to fans is even more impressive.

    • I agree. If he knows these nutters are out there, no wonder he went through a phase of worrying. Top marks for being such a nice guy – or maybe that’s to keep all the nutters onside?! No no no, don’t shoot me. I know he’s adorable!

      • I think he’s an adorable, nice guy. IMHO. But it never hurts to keep every one on his side!

      • I like the way “we” talk ’bout everyone else being nuts. That’s funny.

        • Kmountainlion, I kind of feel funny about labelling these letter-writers, besides bad spelling and grammar, there’s only shades of gray between the pot and the kettle. They are more clueless and sincere, and we have the snark powers, but really, I’m cringing for myself too.

          • Well said, Old One. I agree with everything you said especially the parts about them being more sincere, and yes I’m cringing, as well.
            Love your avatar.

          • Hey I’ve been curious of your avatar. What is it?

        • Aren’t we all nuts and crazy in our own little Rob-way? LOl

          • The Old One. So old I’m mummified.

    • i believe we receive only a small PERCENTAGE of the crazy fan letters he receives!

      • OMG! That’s really scary! These people are just OUT there. Walking the streets. In the shops, cafés, bars. Sitting next to you on the tube……….

        • Omg you’re right! It could be our niece, or even our s/o. They always need a cover you know.

  6. These people all obviously have access to the internet, which makes me really nervous. Rob, you might need even more security.

    love,
    another vampier lover
    M.G. Pattinson

    (I know – how crazy! Our last names are the same!)

  7. Anyone else find this part particularily disturbing?

    “trust me i have not changed myself for you besides my voice”

    What does it mean?
    Has she been training herself to speak as if she is “from another time”?
    Or to make her pick up lines sound like James Dean?
    or is she just pausing occassionally in conversation to drop a few f-bombs cause she knows Rob will think that’s sexy?

    Any other guesses ladies? I am ‘sooo’ interested!

    • Yes, what did that mean? Is she trying to speak in his (really attractive) British accent?

    • That was the part that scared me the most.

      Maybe she takes speech lessons? Or had her voice box tightened*?

      The possibilities are endless.

      *I don’t know if you can do that.

    • I wondered the same thing. I was a bit creeped out by that..
      I’m thinking she probably tries to make her accent British instead of Australian? I would so love to hear what it is that she does.

      These letters crack me up. I feel so normal after reading them.

      • I know, it’s a shame she didn’t fully explain these voice change antics.

        I suppose she didn’t want to ruin the suprise when Rob meets her!

      • Um weird but I sometimes switch from my regular accent (which, coincidentally, is Aussie) and slip on and English accent. But only when I talk cute to my cats or I’m being silly with my mum. Plus I have 2 English besties so some of their language has slipped into my everyday speak. And I’m like, 1/4 English hahahahahahahhahahaha

        • Okay now I’m embarrassed.
          You should all be 2nd-hand embarrassed for me. *Facepaw*

        • I’m the same, I’m from Louisville and I have a southern accent(yee haw). But when I talk to relatives from Michigan, my accent changes a little! Haha.

        • What, that isn’t normal??!

          I always pick up accents whenever I spend more than a few hours with someone. I’ve had like British, Portuguese and Italian. And I can’t help it. But I guess that because English is not my first language it is acceptable…
          But it’s still embarrassing/funny when my Italian friend yells: “Stop speaking with my accent! You’re not Italian!”

    • I guess she is trying to speak just like the Bella-girl
      ….as Rob!lol

    • I think she means that instead of speaking normally, she now stutters like crazy, thinking that will undoubtedly reel Rob in.

      Throw in a few spastic blinks and he’s yours.

    • i bet she’s talking in a British accent now…. hahaha

    • I’m guessing the voice change is a clue to another change…..of the gender variety. What tranny could resist Robward’s Covergirl Outlast coated lips in New Moon??

      Who let the Vampiers out? Woot, woot, woot, woot!

  8. Oh for the love of all that is holy!!!

    Stupid aint pretty.. Hahahahahaha..

  9. Mmmm it may just be me or is Rob
    *semi swoon at the mention of HHH*
    making a rather rude sign language gesture with his hands in the first of those pics? To none other than NR? I’m not 100% but I’m sure someone knows what I mean ifyouknowwhatimsayin.

  10. These people are not only crazy but have never heard of spell check!!

  11. UC, your responses to the letters were brill and made me snort my coffee yet again.

    Depends leakage! ha! I know, I’m 12.

  12. UC-Thank you for the big bag of crazy this morning! I truly needed it. I think my personal fav is the one regarding the 68 year old. Rob could bring the sexy back for shuffle board. And bingo.

    I would also like to thank the nut-o’s that actually wrote these letters. Thank you for making me seem NORMAL. And that’s not always easy.

    And srsly…VAMPIER??? That had me lmao’ing. I will no longer refer to the Robward as a vamPIRE, but rather a “vampier” followed by sinister laughter, while tapping my fingers together. Let’s try it: “That vampier is sparkly..MWAHAHAHAHAA” *finger taps* Yes. It works.

    • I will picture you as Mr.Burns from now on. “Eeeeeexcellent.” *finger taps*

      • I just choked on my coffee…Mr. Burns. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!! When I first read “vampier” I kept picturing Dr. Evil holding Mr. Bigglesworth talking about “lazzzzzzer beamssss” 😉

  13. Wow, I cannot believe..these people are crazy….they made much more mistakes than me!

    …I wish it was be easier to get in contact with you….

    Samantha…me too me too……:-)

    • Robgirl-Maybe if we write Rob a grammatically incorrect, looney tunes letter we just MIGHT get Rob’s phone number! He’ll take one look at the letter from Crazytown, fall madly in love with us, and magically appear at our doorstep. And the first words out of his mouth will be, “I just love a woman that can’t spell and thinks that I’m really a vampier. I just love the crazy, so bring it.” 😉

      • …fall madly in love with us…
        ❤ if he wants I will speak chinese!

    • Girlfriend, your English is much better!

      Samantha echoed my sentiments as well….

      XO

      • much??? honey, I expected much MORE! lol

  14. Dear Rob,
    Please come to Main so we can sign all my books and touch each other’s no-no places all day. I was in a play in high skool, so I know how hard it is for you to find tru love.

    Love,
    JodieOpattinson.

    PS. I bite like a vampier, so you don’t have to worry about hurting me.

    • Hey, your spelling is all wrong! It’s Pattison.

      • How silly of me!

    • ❤ you, Mainiac.

      • ❤ you back. Are you one of us?

        • No, I’m a “Masshole”. We only visit you in the Summer. 🙂

          • Damn you! Stop driving so crazy!

    • Main- haha

  15. “Are there “immature” ladies of 68?”

    “Hey! Pattinson is MY last name too.”

    My favs.
    That was fun therapy!
    I lit’rally can’t form a decent sentence. I’m so second hand embarrassed right now …
    WTF people!

  16. Speechless 🙂

    x

    • Hahaha…thumb up..you’re rarely speechless….
      I always love your comments 🙂

  17. Ah……right then.

  18. Maybe letters from from the thorseen from lunch bunch. Lets do the thorazeen shuffle. It is fun. I love it. The old lady in depends with vodka and prune juice I love it http://bobbygee.wordpress.com/

    • i have no idea what you’re talking about!

      • He’s probably drunk on vodka and prune juice …

  19. I am trembling under the weight of my secondhand embarrassment.

    • I forgot to tag this post as 2nd-hand embarrassing. WHAT was I thinking!?

  20. Absolutely hilarious. Immature 68 year olds…that response from you, UC, was priceless.

  21. Why can’t you say where the 68 yo is working? Is she a stripper? Is she a celebrity PA? Both?

    • ..it is CHER!:-)

      • …or C.H.’s mother…omg..omg..

    • no. she has such a shockingly NORMAL job…

      i just fear that the crazy people read the site. I want them to laugh along at the name changes (and age changes, she was actually a few years different in age!) and location changes and think “wow- they’re crazy” without realizing it’s their OWN letter!

      • Hahaha…tricky…and I’m 100% sure….
        they will NOT/can NOT/are NOT able to
        realize…..

    • I was wondering too! 😛

    • Yeah, come on UC…tell us, please.

      • Begging is so (not) attractive, what am I a 5 yo…

      • I’m begging UC! Pretty please? 🙂

    • Can you give a clue? Is it for the government? (Just a guess.)

  22. Oh my… this is beyond hilarious! The 68-year old grandma’s friend was cute though. It was probs a huge effort to remember all the steps of writing an e-mail in the correct order as her grandson taught her. Yet she succeeded! Someone, steal a cardboard Edward from a Burger King and mail it to that woman!

    • She won’t notice the difference anyway.

      (The number of thumbs down will be a crude estimate of the magnitude of the 68+ demographic on LTR. To those people -> I didn’t mean it. To the others -> I did)

  23. Dear Rob,
    I too have had a very tough year financially.I thought maybe, since you have NOT had a tough year financially, you could charter a jet and come whisk me away from my dirty house and neglected family and we could barricade ourselves in a hotel room and microwave Hot Pockets in between special hugs in your unwashed, unmade bed.I know it’s along shot but you’re all I think about, talk about, read about. C’mon, it’s not like you can’t afford to fly in complete strangers for Hot Pocket-fueled sex romps.
    Eagerly awaiting your answer,
    d2d

    UC,
    C’mon, spill-where does the lady with the Alice costume work?? A Heineken/HP factory? Pleeease.

    • No, it’s the bitchy PR. She made it! Rob came visit her and now that she’s working for him, she paid herself a couple of surgical improvements.

      • You’re talking about the grumpy blonde woman? 🙂

      • if it’s the PR lady, a couple would so not to be enough…lol

  24. I do love it when you bring out these crazies.

  25. These letters make me cringe. If I could shrink back into my own skin, I would. shudder…

    I need to make a pact with someone now that if I decide to dress up like Alice Cullen when I am 68 that I will face dire consequences and some psychiatric evaluation.

    p.s. – “Cocoa” for Pattinson would be the best cereal ever.

  26. UC-Before I forget…I remember you saying that you and Moon were going to make LTT/LTR T-shirts. I have a request. I would like mine to say, “I ❤ Vampiers (Cause that's normal)".

    Please and thank you 😉

    • hahaha…. oh gosh.. we have SO much on our to-do list.. Shirts next! right after the other important thing we’re working on! And Chrsitmas! And the Rob drought we’re in for for the next few months….

      Okay, we’ll consider it
      🙂

      how about “Vampiers give me a Cullen Smile?”

      • No rush, no rush. I just wanted to throw that out there. 😉 And I would proudly sport a “Vampiers give me a Cullen Smile”! And here’s another idea (not to add to the already long list of To-Do’s (Rob is at the top of mine btw)), but how ’bout a sweet line of jorts for the “wearwolv” lovers out there? They can have fur fringe to make them more authentic. 😀

        • Jacob Jorts, Pattinson Pants and Cullen Capris – OH MY!

  27. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by LetterstoTwilight, tiffanized. tiffanized said: He makes me hapy. RT @letter2twilight: Do you lov Robrt Pattison the Vampier? http://tinyurl.com/yebvwzn […]

  28. A Vampier. They’re NOT bears.

    Good Lord. I’m still confused after reading ONE post on this site, ONE!, that they still think its a real Rob fanmail outlet. *slapping my forehead

    • Hahaha. Forgot about that. I went to see NM again last night and snorted embarrassingly loud when Bella ran in and said “They’re NOT bears!”

  29. Dear UC,

    I jas lab dis laters! 🙂

    LOL

    SB

  30. “I hope he’s doing okay as an out-of-work actor, keeping the paps off his back when he’s out in public and finding a real, true relationship with someone who loves him even though he’s an out-of-work nobody actor that no body has heard of. ”

    Hehehehe. I assume you googled “Don Brocko” right? Or were you waiting for me to google him? Your post must have made his google alert’s day.

    Did that 68 year old really dress up like Alice for Halloween? I bet she was mistaken for Marcus the entire evening.

  31. I wish the girl with the Rob wallpaper would give tours. I would totes go….I am sure Pattinson Pants Patty needs a part time job anyway for the holiday season…I know she would give an amazeballs “all about Mr. Pattinson” tour….I mean iron on patches are not cheap people. 🙂

  32. I kind of ❤ the third one. It's decent and my parents are from Detroit. Funny how in the pic, Rob's wearing a Yankess hat and then the caption says "Detroit rocks!" 🙂

    And I love Rob's (ahem yours) response! He's got a legit reason for going to Detroit. Although, Rob, make sure you bring a lot of bodyguards! Trust me Detroit is not a safe place to be! :-).

  33. Crazies make the world go round.

  34. Love everything about these. I find the best way to get someone to talk to you is to tell them you’re a completely batshit crazy stalker. Works like a charm every time!

    Have you ever heard back from any of these crazies? I can just imagine them checking for updates, seeing you post their letter with a response from “Rob,” and believing it. Love it.

  35. “Touched me in my no-no place.”

    *speechless*

    • Haha! I usually call the hohaas!

    • Is that a “no” for each one? ahemmm!

  36. I would just like to give credit to ‘Samantha’ for being able to spell words n stuff. Definitely doable.

  37. “Also- tell Don I said what’s up!? I haven’t seen him in awhile. I hope he’s doing okay as an out-of-work actor, keeping the paps off his back when he’s out in public..”.

    Wow, he REALLY does know all the actors (working & non-working) out in Hollywood!!!

    Ahh.. I love seeing these letters. They are so cringe-tastic.

    They also et me know that yes, even though I have an “acute fondness” for all things Rob and Twilight, I really AM the NORMAL one.

  38. I always enjoy these letters to Rob. Love how Samantha so very earnestly tries to woo him. Obviously no other fan is as deserving of, and compatible with, Rob. A fellow “musician”? A potential London visitor? She’s perfect for him! If only he knew….Hopefully she enclosed a topless photo of herself to seal the deal.

  39. Damn. All this time, all I had to do was write a letter to Rob on this site to get him to show up at work for my birthday or come to Detroit to f*ck me. Damn. Wish I would’ve known that sooner. I could’ve avoided the 6 months in jail for stalking……

    Great post UC! ❤ I love how even though you make fun of them, you change their names, ect – you're a nice mean girl. LOL. I still read your post everyday (u guys still crack me up) but just don't get to play online anymore. Too much RL. Tell all the girls who remember me I said hi. XO

  40. i actually googled the real name of the actor that girl mentions. he’s like a d-bag who plays d-bag E-list roles in d-bag films.

    never heard of him

    looks like a total d-bag. Guarantee no pap has EVER snapped a shot of him

  41. Talking about 2nd hand embarrassment and going to birthday parties, I just realized that Rob doesn’t have a look-alike  who could indeed honour all these invitations to all sorts of great events: marriages, birthdays…In France, it’s known to be long and stable career. You can’t imagine all the balls where 80yo are going crazy about 80yo men who swears he looks like X or Y (feel free to imagine any ridiculous singer as X or Y). So there is hope, even for the lady with the letter.

    • There was one look alike, apparently in Sweden(I could be wrong). I think he’s a soccer player. We were talking about this in the chat months ago, I just can’t remember his name. He does look a little like Rob in some angles. Not completely. I won’t kick him out of bed though.

      My BFF said my husband looks a little like Rob and I told her NO WAY! She is delusional!

      • Jared Leto was trying to “look like HHH” last night on Conan. Good luck with that Jared. I’m so mean.

        • I agree, good luck Jared Leto. There is no one like Rob! No one will ever come close.

    • I’ve never seen anyone who looks like him–he’s got such unique features. Except, sometimes, I think he looks like my sister. That’s so scary I can’t think about it.

      • He looks like your sister! LOL. Oh no…

        It’s true, he is so unique, he’s going down thru history.

    • Rob sometimes looks like his own lookalike…lol

  42. I’m outing myself as a geek here…. but when I read “vampier” I think of Kendra from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Her accent was always interesting.

  43. Social comments and analytics for this post…

    This post was mentioned on Twitter by letter2twilight: Do you lov Robrt Pattison the Vampier? http://tinyurl.com/yebvwzn

  44. I heart crazy stalker day!! At least Allie Pattinson can admit to what she is! I am still in denial.

    UC Seriously we need to be putting these LTT/LTR shirts as the number one priority! I am ready to drain the kids college funds for a good cause!

  45. Dear Rob,

    Run.

    That’s all.

    • Good idea, but that’s impossibile, he is not so able!

  46. mmm…I knew there had to be a better reason why I hate living in Tampa (I was using the sucky weather as an excuse)…CRAZY OLD WOMEN!!!! Some letters ago we read about a potential serial killer, today we read what, a “mature” stalker?!?
    SOS! anyone knows about a company somewhere outside FL that wants to hire a recent Econ Grad? I need to move to a more mentally stable state with NORMAL TwiFans…NY, IL, DC?!? Please!!!*puppy eyes*

  47. I seem to enjoy these letters from crazy fans. Makes me feel more ‘normal’.


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