Dear Rob,
What if you weren’t “Robert Pattinson” aka Edward Cullen? What if you weren’t the new Johnny Depp, or that guy who does “the Tuck” while playing Salvador Dali? Seriously, what would you do if you weren’t an actor? It’s hard to image (actually not at all, I have a very active imagination) but there’s some of the ideas I’ve come up with…
Inspired by HeyyyyBrother who sent this first image to us, we just had to know what other jobs you might have had
Used Car Salesmen at Cars-B-Sold in Fort Lauderdale – Let him rev your engine!
Rug Specialist as Sofa King in New Jersey – He’s Sofa King good at his job!
Lounge Singer at Blue Moon Piano Bar in Shaboygan, WI – Let him tickle your ivories!
Follow the cut to see the rest of Rob’s jobs
New Leader of the TBirds! – Move over Danny Zucko, there’s a new greaser in town!
(very dressed up) Park Ranger / Tour Guide at Yellow Stone National Park – He can’t wait to show you Ol’ Faithful (that’s what she said!)
Seasonal Sales Associate at Anthropologie – He loves to show you exactly how comfortable their over priced couches are! Why don’t you jump on here with him and give it a whirl! He’ll have this rung up and delivered just in time for Chrismukkah!
Musical Evangelists in Japan – Just them a couple mics, some suits from the Men’s Warehouse and they will be saving souls in NO time. KStew lost a bet and got dragged along. She’s NOT into singing solo’s. Ever.
So Rob I think you should probably stay an actor or at least a Rug Specialist because these others aren’t really your bag, but I’d like to see you try in your weeks off!
Xo
Themoonisdown
What jobs did I miss? What else could Rob do if he wasn’t an actor?
Good times to be had in The Forum
Enjoy LTT today and see who won the CafePress Tshirt!
Guess what I just opened? Yup, I tore into my new Bite Me notepad from Lobotome!! And seriously, it’s awesome. Like UC said over at LTT we get a lot of emails pitching us stuff and when I saw this one I knew I had to email Lobotome back and tell them that we loved the product! And they were super sweet and sent us back a couple pads to try out along with samples of their other to-do lists.
On my list?
-Investigate tshirt manufactuers/silk screeners (um, yup this means we’re trying to get LTT/LTR shirts made!)
-Design Tshirts
– Order more Lobotome lists for Xmas stocking stuffers
– Do Rob
And then I just spent the rest of the time and free space doodling “Mrs. Robert Pattinson” “Mrs. RPattz” “Ms. Needs a Life!”
So go buy some notepads ay LobotoME! and share your obsession in a classy AND useful way!
Letters to Rob 
LTT/LTR t-shirts! I would wear one proudly! Please include slogans such as “My T-Shirt gives me a Cullen Smile,” “That’s what she said” and a special one for boys that says “Unicorn.” You know you want to!
By: Shleeeigh on October 20, 2009
at 8:16 am
Haha! I want mine to say “That’s NORMAL” Do you think Moon and UC will take requests?
By: Sharpie on October 20, 2009
at 8:34 am
‘That’s NORMAL’ should be on ALL the t-shirts!
By: Shleeeigh on October 20, 2009
at 8:54 am
It would be the secret sign, to let other LTR/LTTers know that you’re one of them. When you’re at any Twi/Rob-relate event you’ll be able to find the other LTT/LTR gals by their “That’s NORMAL” T’s. Excellent.
Can you get them made up in time for New Moon? I’d love to be able to pick out the NORMAL people in the theater.
By: dazzledtodeath on October 20, 2009
at 9:40 am
So true dazzled!!!! It would be a great way to find other “normal” peeps out there! It would be much easier than carrying around a life sized cardboard cutout of the Robward….and I think I would get much less awkward stares from strangers.
By: Sharpie on October 20, 2009
at 9:43 am
haha.. good idea! our secret sign!
By: unintendedchoice on October 20, 2009
at 9:55 am
Do you think it would be acceptable to have “I wanna bang Rob” written in small font underneath “That’s NORMAL”?? Or would that be too much? It’s important to keep it classy. 🙂
By: Sharpie on October 20, 2009
at 9:41 am
maybe on the label? You’d know it was there but no one else would. It’s kinda private.
By: dazzledtodeath on October 20, 2009
at 9:49 am
Ooh…the tag idea is a great idea! Good thinkin’ Dazzled….Good thinkin’. 🙂
By: Sharpie on October 20, 2009
at 10:43 am
How about “robbanger” written in small font on the sleeve, you know, like it was a logo? Not too obvioius, not too classy, but, getting your needs out there, so to speak? (Wouldn’t want Rob to miss the point if we ever run into him, right?)
By: MariaCecilia on October 20, 2009
at 3:13 pm
Hmm…it can kind of be like the “livestrong” logo on arm bands…I think it should be on some. I like to have choices 🙂 Plus, it will also give me a better chance at “blending in” with all of the real normal people. Imjustsayin 😀
By: Sharpie on October 20, 2009
at 3:45 pm
I love it! I’d so buy one.
By: Katie S on October 20, 2009
at 10:26 am
yes!!! seriously…. request.. and you know “that’s normal” is on the list!
….
That’s Normal!
By: unintendedchoice on October 20, 2009
at 9:55 am
Brilliant!! I would ❤ an LTT shirt!!!! Other ideas…
Got Jorts
Oregano Who?
Unicorns Welcome
🙂
By: ChokingOnDust on October 20, 2009
at 8:09 pm
haha ive got one that says save a volvo ride a vampire! and there’s a pic of a car on the bottom left of the shirt 😀
By: hunnieb on October 21, 2009
at 9:40 am
I vote for making special tees for those of us who may not love the Twilight saga, but have read the books, want Rob as a lover, and obsesses over all things Twi as much as the fans.
I’ll admit it: I don’t like Twilight, but I’m on here daily, I dream of meeting Rob, and I spend too much time thinking of Twi-related things. Is that normal? For once, I don’t think it is… *averts eyes*
By: Marz on October 20, 2009
at 11:31 am
Awesome! Also….
“Dumpster Diving Since 2008”
“How To Make a Kitty Meeeoow”
By: Krystle on October 20, 2009
at 7:39 pm
Suddenly……. I feel compelled to purchase a volvo, rugs and to be “saved” by Musical Evangelists.
If I purchase said couch does it come with Rob?
It would be hard to explain to the SO but since hes taken to calling me “cougar” lately. Im sure he would totes understand.
By: Tasha on October 20, 2009
at 8:18 am
hahahahahaahahahah! Word!
By: natashadushi on October 20, 2009
at 8:25 am
amazing pun-based jokes mooniepie
“He’s Sofa King good at his job”
thats just brilliant!
By: Vi on October 20, 2009
at 8:18 am
I remember the days when everything was “Sofa King” something. Love it!
By: fangbanger06 on October 20, 2009
at 8:44 am
I think hobo Rob would simply be unemployed, and possibly homeless.
And intellectual book-carrying Rob might give readings at public libraries that no one comes to. At least not to listen to the reading.
LTT t-shirts, yah! Please make sure your shirts ship to Europe! And make one with ‘That’s normal!’ (Although that one’s obvious, right?) Oooh, and one that says ‘Respect Buttcrack Santa’. But that one’s obvious too. Can’t wait!
By: notanaddiktbella on October 20, 2009
at 8:23 am
PS: “What can I do to get you in a new volvo today?”
“Just get in that car, Rob… and don’t come out till I say so.”
Kthankxbye!
By: notanaddiktbella on October 20, 2009
at 8:24 am
I hope they indeed ship to Europe!!!!!
By: natashadushi on October 20, 2009
at 8:25 am
Oh they do! I had to order when I saw them on LTT and I´m eagerly waiting for them to arrive. The shipping was more expensive than the note pad so i bought several, I justified it with – they are great Christmas gifts for me, myself and I. And my friend Malin…
By: Cecpet on October 20, 2009
at 9:48 am
we’ll make sure they ship to Europe! 1/2 of our readers are outside of the US!
By: unintendedchoice on October 20, 2009
at 9:57 am
“And intellectual book-carrying Rob might give readings at public libraries that no one comes to. At least not to listen to the reading.”
Thank you for the mental image on that one. 😀
I would be all over that!
By: fangbanger06 on October 20, 2009
at 8:32 am
I think I would possible love Rob even more if he did readings at public libraries. Sigh…
By: notanaddiktbella on October 20, 2009
at 10:36 am
possiblY, that is
By: notanaddiktbella on October 20, 2009
at 10:36 am
TOTALLY! I would go to his readings simply to fantasize about the man with the hot, British voice. Oh, and if he reads masterpieces like Camus’ Stranger, I’d be more smitten!
By: Marz on October 20, 2009
at 11:07 am
SO GREAT! Unemployed and homeless…..at this pint I fell off my chair…LOL
By: robgirl86 on October 20, 2009
at 12:02 pm
Leader of the TBirds!!!!
I can see him in the 50s and 60s s one of the Mad Men or a Marlboro Man.
Man, the gut can make even smoking sexy!
http://twitpic.com/m8fht
By: JellybeanRainbow on October 20, 2009
at 8:24 am
The Guy!
By: JellybeanRainbow on October 20, 2009
at 8:26 am
no no, the gut is funnier..
By: vsturridge on October 20, 2009
at 8:34 am
Oh my, I just scrolled through the comments, saw your avatar, and my first thought was “OMG TomStu is commenting!”…it took 1 second to realize it’s just an avatar…I sometimes have this with Rob avatars I see for the first time as well.
I really need that “that’s normal” T-shirt, it will keep me from seeking professional help.
By: Alice not an addikt on October 20, 2009
at 2:53 pm
Dude. I’ve considered smoking because of Rob! Stupid, sexy smoker. *drools*
By: Marz on October 20, 2009
at 11:09 am
I will only buy ” fake lesbian since 2008″ LTT/TTR t-shirt.
Voloward looks hot btw!
The last photo I tought it was someting about weddingsingers.
Love the post as always.
By: natashadushi on October 20, 2009
at 8:24 am
I would wear that!!! LOL
By: Tasha on October 20, 2009
at 1:51 pm
Rob would be a really hott mechanic. Not sure that he would know anything but that is beside the point.
He is already filthy looking. Just imagine him holding a wrench.
And I will never let go of the dream that Rob will one day be my library assistant.
By: fangbanger06 on October 20, 2009
at 8:36 am
In the jumpsuit with a greasy rag hanging out of his front pocket? The kind of jump suit that just has the one long zipper down the front? … I think I need a moment alone..
By: JodieO on October 20, 2009
at 8:47 am
YES! You have it! 😀
By: fangbanger06 on October 20, 2009
at 8:51 am
mmmm….remember Bruce Springsteen’s vid for “I’m on fire”? Totes putting rob in that riiiiiight abooooout now….mmmmmm
By: Illegalwolflover on October 20, 2009
at 8:59 am
Actually no. But I looked it up and it was made the year before I was born (1986).
It is pretty hot. The mechanic guy (is that Bruce?) looks like Hugh Jackman.
By: fangbanger06 on October 20, 2009
at 9:15 am
Mmmm… Hugh Jackman and Rob in mechanic’s jumpsuits… Mental porn is ensuing… I defs need a moment alone.
Aren’t Rob and Hugh making a movie together later this year? If so… then dreams DO come true.
By: notanaddiktbella on October 20, 2009
at 10:38 am
I had to give you a thumbs down, FB06 because you made me feel old and I got sadface.
By: jodieo on October 20, 2009
at 2:58 pm
Sorry for making you feel old, JodieO! I didn’t mean it. Really.
😀
By: fangbanger06 on October 20, 2009
at 3:49 pm
Oh shizz yeah, jump suit unzipped down to waste with a white tank underneath covered with grease and grease and dirt all over the arms, taking a long drag from a cigarette and wiping sweat from the brow…. I think I need a moment now…
By: Shleeeigh on October 20, 2009
at 8:59 am
It was made the year i was born yay! i didnt know that…and yes thats the boss….
id be that desperately snobby rich girl for rob anyday….amen!
aaaaaaand “moments” for everybody!
By: Illegalwolflover on October 20, 2009
at 10:00 am
Going to my happy place now…I can just see his look! “No, I don’t actually do cars very well, but there are things I do better….”
But I would love to see him in a library, never mind the reading. Rob AND books! How erotic! I would take him to tea afterwards… 🙂
By: MariaCecilia on October 20, 2009
at 3:18 pm
the Sofa King reference and “Chrismukkah” just made my whole day – and also the possibility of LTR/LTT t-shirts – yay!!
By: adrienne on October 20, 2009
at 8:42 am
I absolutely love my Bite Me notepads and have already doodled several Edwards when I am in my dreamy state… and, oh yeah, the to do list is useful too.
I was going to keep them all for myself, but I did break down and give one away as a gift to a fellow Twilight lover who is not an avid internet user and thus does not get the advantage of your reading your imaginative blog…I feel bad for her as she could use a Twilight funny sometimes…
By: GayAnn on October 20, 2009
at 8:44 am
Hey, me too, I got mine in the mail today! I can’t wait to give them as gifts, but I ordered myself four of them 🙂
By: blvr on October 20, 2009
at 5:51 pm
I got my notepads today too! I love them and plan on giving one away as a gift, but the rest are all mine….MUUUHAHAA. Thanks for letting us know about these gems.
By: blvr on October 20, 2009
at 5:56 pm
Sorry for the double post, computer glitch…or I was too busy doodling on Edward to pay attention.
By: blvr on October 20, 2009
at 5:57 pm
I just recently made the Sofa King picture my background on my laptop.
Something about his face says “Thanks. That was so good…” So I’ve started saying you’re welcome to my computer when I turn it on. That’s normal.
By: PinkDolphin on October 20, 2009
at 9:01 am
I did too!!!! It’s my motivation to keep working and stop scanning the internet. Every time I glance up from my desk, there he is staring at me with those ‘come f*ck me eyes”. Promising me a reward if I finish my work.
Lately, I’ve become quite productive at work.
By: Christa64c on October 20, 2009
at 9:58 am
Well he could be a high-powered executive just like in The Office :-). That’s kind of stuck in my mind forever now.
These are all great though! I love the seasonal sales rep at Anthropologie. Yeah anyone would be coerced into buying a couch if he would be the salesperson. I think most of the sales would be to women!
By: southernbelle on October 20, 2009
at 9:04 am
I want to know why it is that everyone else loves The Office while I couldn’t get past the first couple of chapters? I just don’t get it. I love a ton of other raunchy fanfics. Why not that one?
By: fangbanger06 on October 20, 2009
at 9:09 am
I don’t know, maybe because he was such a jackass in the beginning? LOL He softens up a lot though. It’s a good story overall and I am not really into racy fanfics but this one’s fine w/ me :-).
Actually my favorite one is Creature of Habit. Oh and I also like Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Which ones are your favorites?
By: southernbelle on October 20, 2009
at 9:25 am
I loved Creature of Habit! I’m reading one called Library Rendezvous that I like a lot.http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4775304/1/
Also Art School Confidential-http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5208954/1/
Edward is a nude model-woohoo! The models didn’t look like that when I was in art school.
By: dazzledtodeath on October 20, 2009
at 9:31 am
I LOVE Art School Confidential!
By: tuesdaymidnight on October 20, 2009
at 9:40 am
Haha, okay I’m curious now, I’ll check these stories out. 🙂
By: southernbelle on October 20, 2009
at 9:50 am
My favorites are Edward Wallbanger, Emancipation Proclamation and The Fallout.
While raciness is fine and dandy, there is a point where I have to draw the line. There is only so many times I can read the “three c’s” before I want to throw up.
It is probably the jackass part. He just annoyed me.
Maybe I’ll try to read it again sometime. 😀
By: fangbanger06 on October 20, 2009
at 9:33 am
Yeah there has to be a limit to all the sex, I mean they have to live normal lives too! LOL. There was one I started reading and I swear literally every minute that’s all they did. Anyway I didn’t go very far on that story. I need a good story line.
By: southernbelle on October 20, 2009
at 9:49 am
Ah so I tell the truth how I feel about racy fanfics and someone dares to give me a thumbs down. Geez, get over it.
By: southernbelle on October 20, 2009
at 12:59 pm
People are mean w/ their thumbs down.
Seriously. I can’t understand people who are all about sex, all the time.
It gets a little old after awhile. You know?
By: fangbanger06 on October 20, 2009
at 1:24 pm
@fangbanger – yes it does get old after a while. :-).
By: southernbelle on October 20, 2009
at 2:02 pm
Tropic of Virgo is good – In_A_Blue_Bathrobe writes really well. Fannbanger is on it with the Emancipation Proclamation. It’s really really good. Everyone should check out The Hills of Twilight, the story and the blog, it’s a Desparate Housewives version of Twilight – it’s awesome.
By: foogirl on October 20, 2009
at 2:01 pm
keep reading, please keep reading! At least to chapter 10-if you’re not hooked by then, you never will be. But I think you’ll be drooling by that point.
By: dazzledtodeath on October 20, 2009
at 9:26 am
I am reading “Library Rendezvous” at this very moment! Thank you for the link. 😀 😀 😀
By: fangbanger06 on October 20, 2009
at 9:42 am
And Art after 5 and Counterpoint-possibly one of my favorite Edwards of all time. I laughed, I cried, I held my breath waiting to see how it would all turn out-I just love these stories. Read them if you haven’t.
By: dazzledtodeath on October 20, 2009
at 9:46 am
The List by LauraACullen- ok a lot of sex in here, but it’s fun!
My Yes My No by lolashoes- great alternative conversations on the way back from Italy
Snowed In by eclipsedawn- can’t wait for the final chapters
yeah, I’ve been a liitle too involved with fanfic as of late. I blame it on the lack of good/new RPattz pics to surface since 2008.
My t-shirt needs to say “A Vampire, A Girl, A Wolf a Cluster f*ck”
Remember that one, ladies? It still makes me laugh. You are hilar. Always.
Have a great day!
By: MrsCliveHandjob on October 20, 2009
at 10:49 am
Ahh I want that t-shirt too!
I swear I nearly choked on my tounge laughing so hard at all of those emo album titles
By: cledbo on October 20, 2009
at 10:40 pm
Really, Fang? I am somewhat shocked and awed that you didn’t read The Office. I bet it was the panty ripping. I just kept wondering how in the hell she could keep buying $350 drawers and he just keeps putting them in his pocket! She has a good ass job, throwing money away like that. I bet that’s why you couldn’t move forward with The Office.
You are healed.
Well, diagnosed, really.
By: lovemesomecullens on October 20, 2009
at 6:47 pm
You ladies are hilarious! There isn’t one post in which you don’t mention The Office in the comments! I love it. I’m still a fanfic V, but you guys are making me VERY curious to read what all the fuss is about.
By: Marz on October 20, 2009
at 11:13 am
I have always visualized Rob as a college philosophy professor. The one sitting in the quad discussing the most random things that none of us would really care about but would listen cause he would be “enlightened” and we would hope he would take us back to his “office”.
LTT/R shirts? Yes, please!
By: sassysmart on October 20, 2009
at 9:09 am
Yes! That is awesome.
I bet he would give me an “A+” after I got done with him…
By: fangbanger06 on October 20, 2009
at 9:11 am
I see him more like one of the students though, getting into deeeeep conversations with his professors all serious-eyed and getting all straight A:s! He will have to get twenty years older before I see him in the professor loafers – but then, oh, how hot he would be!
By: MariaCecilia on October 20, 2009
at 3:55 pm
YAY! Can’t wait for the shirts! (although I might never wear them in public depending on how much they out me) YAY!
By: JodieO on October 20, 2009
at 9:11 am
we’ll make sure there are some less obvious ones… we got your back…. the shirt on your back. HA
By: unintendedchoice on October 20, 2009
at 9:59 am
Wa wa waaaaa
By: sassysmart on October 20, 2009
at 10:10 am
I was actually hearing that in my head before I scrolled down to your reply. HEE!
By: jodieo on October 20, 2009
at 10:59 am
Rob could lay my carpet any time.
By: dazzledtodeath on October 20, 2009
at 9:13 am
Yes, yes, yes!
By: southernbelle on October 20, 2009
at 9:31 am
oh thank god. i thought i was the only dirty-minded individual that was lolling over “rug specialist”!
By: egregiousgirl on October 20, 2009
at 9:49 am
it was begging to be said.
By: dazzledtodeath on October 20, 2009
at 9:52 am
Wow. I’m slow. I didn’t get it until now! Hahahahaha!
By: Marz on October 20, 2009
at 11:15 am
Clever as always Moon! I would definitely buy a brand new shiny silver VOLVO from Rob. Unfortunately, if it wasn’t for his movie stardom, I think Rob would be one of those 30 somethings that still live at home with mom and dad, occasionally earning a few bucks bartending and waiting for his big record deal, as he plays a few pubs on the weekend.
I hope you go ahead with the t-shirts! I would love one saying, “That’s Normal.” This would be a perfect stocking stuffer for me, from me, since my stocking is always left empty. Thanks to forgetful hubby;oP My kids think I’ve been naughty, therefore, Santa doesn’t fill my stocking. Boo Hoo. This year I should fill it with hot Edward goodies – that will teach my forgetful hubby;o)
By: Boomin' Granny on October 20, 2009
at 9:31 am
your vision of nonfamous Rob is so sad and true – like his “how to be” character.
By: milfy goodness on October 20, 2009
at 10:31 am
This is the man I will end up with in the hopes that he does actually become the next Rob (although we all know there can only be one).
How To Be! I love that film so much – so much cuteness.
By: Shleeeigh on October 20, 2009
at 11:29 am
Milfy goodness!!! I ❤ your name – makes me smile everytime I see your comments. OWN THE MILFness!!!!!
By: foogirl on October 20, 2009
at 2:08 pm
How to be was a documentary about Rob Pattinson.
By: Emma C. on October 20, 2009
at 5:50 pm
I completely agree–he’s got some musical talent, but really his recorded songs are a little too non-mainstream. He would play at coffeehouses and pubs, work at dad’s car dealership and feel he was selling out his creativity. Thank goodness for us mom pushed him into acting and movies!
By: The Old One on October 20, 2009
at 2:15 pm
U need a life! Me too! Let’s find one…going to google now.
By: Janetrigs on October 20, 2009
at 9:32 am
@sassy: oh hell yes, professor in tweed!
T-shirt; can you get them in royal blue, like the jacket he wore to the MTV-MA? Or plaid? Black hoodies and Ray-Bans! White 1980’s-style sweats with Moon and UC’s pictures all over them? The possibilities are endless!
By: swansong on October 20, 2009
at 9:38 am
Yes, yes. Plaid tee shirts. Perfect for fall, and versatile too. You can wear plaid with jeans, you can wear it with Khaki, or, dress it up with a pencil skirt. OOOHHH, with leather.
Show us the love Moonie and UC!!!
By: lovemesomecullens on October 20, 2009
at 6:57 pm
First, I ♥ that we’re going to be able to get t-shirts! I will wear mine loud and proud!
And I would totes buy a rug or a couch from Rob….as long as he came with delivery and tested it out in an afternoon demonstration that I got to partake in! 😉
By: Jena on October 20, 2009
at 9:51 am
He’s Sofa King schmexy 😉
By: lorabell on October 20, 2009
at 10:00 am
How about Rob the masseuse? Yes please. I could totally see him passing on college for massage school. I would go see him. Yes, I would.
Also, I would totally get swindled into buying a car from Rob. And I would most definitely ask him if he would mind going for a test ride…. in the back seat. Heyoo!
By: HeyyyBrother on October 20, 2009
at 10:06 am
Does the Rob masseuse (Rob-seuse, if you will), give Happy Endings? Or would that be extra…?
By: Marz on October 20, 2009
at 11:03 am
I think it’s safe to assume that any time Rob touched me would result in a happy ending. Intentional or not… If-you-know-what-I’m-sayin-and-I-think-you-do-because-I’m-being-pretty-obvious-about-this.
By: HeyyyBrother on October 20, 2009
at 11:21 am
If I could like this a million times, I would! HAHAHA!
By: Marz on October 20, 2009
at 2:01 pm
Robseussed!
By: Emma C. on October 20, 2009
at 5:55 pm
❤ your face sister wife!
By: cledbo on October 20, 2009
at 11:16 pm
Rob the masseuse!
I said it before and I will say it again. Fanfictions are born on LTR/LTT every day.
By: Alice not an addikt on October 20, 2009
at 2:57 pm
Come to think of it, I think I DID buy a bike from him once, the likeness is striking. And that was one crappy bike… Guess I wasn’t paying enough attention to the (right) details?
By: MariaCecilia on October 20, 2009
at 3:59 pm
Don’t have time to read all the comments today, but OH LORD! I would buy a Volvo from THAT guy anyday. DAMN! That first pic almost killed me.
By: Holly on October 20, 2009
at 10:19 am
Rob as a National Geographic survival specialist.
Plop him down in the middle of any metropolitan city and watch him navigate the “blacktop jungle” as he evades the wild hordes of “squealing fangirls” and errant taxi cabs.
Surviving on Heineken and hotpockets.
Wearing only the clothes he finds in dumpsters or can bum off friends.
I see him as the Bear Grylls of Hollywood.
By: Christa64c on October 20, 2009
at 10:19 am
I SO need that ‘rug specialist’ to do home visits!
By: Xylem on October 20, 2009
at 10:27 am
he’s complete and totally Sofa King perfect. *sigh*
By: Libby on October 20, 2009
at 10:32 am
The Volvo dealer had me LOLing and my husband yelling from the other room “what’s so funny?” and me saying “do you really want to know?” (he’s home “sick” aka – just left to play golf), which clued him in that it was a Twi-thing, better left unexplained.
Anyway – the To Do list was my favorite part. I think I should get a pad like that to write notes to my kids’ teachers. That would go over well I’m sure.
By: milfy goodness on October 20, 2009
at 10:35 am
Good morning Enablers,
I have been wishing for a while that all the awesome bloggers, (LTT/LTR, Twitarded, Twigasm, etc.) get together and make something we could all wear to recognize each other.
Something small and inconspicuous. Like how Kabbalists have that red sting on their wrist. Or weed enthusiasts have 4:20.
Someone needs to design a logo that doesn’t scream “TWILIGHT dork” but WE all know what it is.
Can be put on a small pin or button, totebag, wrist. etc.
So that others in the secret society will know that I am in “the bubble” too!
It’s easier than coming out of the closet to everyone you meet only to hang your head in shame as you scurry back in.
DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!
By: Donna on October 20, 2009
at 10:37 am
I like this idea. I like this idea a lot.
By: Shleeeigh on October 20, 2009
at 11:30 am
Yes please! But what?????
By: natashadushi on October 20, 2009
at 2:36 pm
How about a miniature dumpster? 🙂
By: MariaCecilia on October 20, 2009
at 4:07 pm
It can be yet another competition!
By: Alice not an addikt on October 20, 2009
at 2:59 pm
competitions help me waste more time than reading LTT and LTR alone. Creative time wasting!
By: cledbo on October 20, 2009
at 11:18 pm
OK, I don’t know what any of that stuff means, but I get it. Like anorexics who wear red and dragonflies.
We are in fact, members of a secret society. And we need to know how to recognize our kind.
Agreed. We need a show of hands from the secret panel members, and the gavel for a logo shall fall.
And we shall travel round the globe, and they will know us, and they will fear us and we will reign…
Maybe too much caffeine today?
By: lovemesomecullens on October 20, 2009
at 7:04 pm
What can you do to get me into a new Volvo, Rob?
ANYTHING YOU WANT.
That is all.
By: lapushbaby on October 20, 2009
at 10:41 am
Singing “Where you go I will follow, I will follow where you lead..” of course.
By: MariaCecilia on October 20, 2009
at 4:09 pm
Have I mentioned how much I love your allusions contemporary Christian music culture? Steven Curtis? Are you kidding me? What’s hilarious about that is that they actually look like a church trio … Taylor:”What are we going to wear this Sunday to coordinate?”
Kristen: “How about we go with grey, black and white?”
Rob: “That’s fine, but Kristen, remember to keep it modest. No sternum, no knees, please.”
Fun fact: There is a video somewhere of me starring in a church production of The Great ARTrageous Adventure … a youth musical based on *that* Steven Curtis Chapman song and set in an art museum. Yeah.
By: allryans on October 20, 2009
at 10:51 am
That one made me snort out loud when I saw it! Then I couldn’t help but think about the rest of the lyrics. “Let’s follow our leader into the glorious unknown”. Then I started thinking about following Rob into the glorious unknown. Then I thought “I’m going to hell”. Normal, right?
By: Sarah on October 20, 2009
at 11:14 am
Last night, I heard some kind of Christian song about a Lion and Lamb.
All I could think about was Twilight.
“Oh! Hi Satan.” *Takes ticket to hell*
Hell will be full. 😉 At least, we will have good company, right?
By: fangbanger06 on October 20, 2009
at 1:01 pm
LOL…these CCM references are NEVER lost on me either!
By: Proselyte3 on October 20, 2009
at 2:54 pm
They are lost on me. I am a heathen.
By: dazzledtodeath on October 20, 2009
at 4:50 pm
Lost on me too, but that’s because I’m British.
By: Emma C. on October 20, 2009
at 6:03 pm
I think the t shirts (hoodies :-)) should be very discrete with a small “LTT: That’s Normal” or something. Then when you see a fellow wearer you can give them a small discrete nod.
If I wanted something openly Twilight-obsessed I’d just go to Hot Topic right?
By: Just me on October 20, 2009
at 10:56 am
A small nod. Like bus drivers or Harley Riders do to each other.
(I know what you are… Respect)
By: Donna on October 20, 2009
at 12:44 pm
If I saw someone wearing our Secret Sign I’d want to pull them into a corner and jump up and down and squee, then talk Rob..otherwise, what’s the point??
By: dazzledtodeath on October 20, 2009
at 4:53 pm
You’re right!!! A total squeee moment with a stranger!
By: Donna on October 20, 2009
at 5:31 pm
I think Rob would make the ideal wedding singer…! Kind of like Adam Sandler’s Robbie in the Wedding Singer. He’d woo engaged women with his adorkableness and expert mumbling. le sigh.
By: Marz on October 20, 2009
at 11:05 am
No man in his right mind would allow Rob to sing at his wedding.
By: dazzledtodeath on October 20, 2009
at 11:46 am
SO TRUE!!! lol
By: robgirl86 on October 20, 2009
at 12:18 pm
Oh, of course no MAN would hire Rob. Why would they…? The man can impregnate his fiancee with one look! But, if they truly love their girlfriends, they will 😉
By: Marz on October 20, 2009
at 1:55 pm
If he sang at my wedding, I would have had second thoughts and may end up not getting married. I would have ran away with him!
By: southernbelle on October 20, 2009
at 2:04 pm
Sorry but I have to… Sheboygan….
I think only a Wisconsinite would see that.
But I would like to see Rob as a lounge singer here ; )
By: Caitlin on October 20, 2009
at 11:26 am
Fellow Wisconsinite… I was too excited over seeing a Wisconsin town named to correct it! And I am loling so hard that DH is getting annoyed. He keeps asking, I keep telling. You’d think he’d know better by now.
I am so on board for a logo. Would save me some embarassment. No more staring at people at Hot Topic near the Twilight merch thinking, “Is she or isn’t she?”
By: Jennifer on October 20, 2009
at 8:08 pm
[…] If Rob wasn’t famous – his other jobs « Letters to Rob letterstorob.wordpress.com/2009/10/20/if-rob-wasnt-famous-his-other-jobs – view page – cached What if you weren’t “Robert Pattinson” aka Edward Cullen? What if you weren’t the new Johnny Depp, or that guy who does “the Tuck” while playing Salvador Dali? Seriously, what would you… (Read more)What if you weren’t “Robert Pattinson” aka Edward Cullen? What if you weren’t the new Johnny Depp, or that guy who does “the Tuck” while playing Salvador Dali? Seriously, what would you do if you weren’t an actor? It’s hard to image (actually not at all, I have a very active imagination) but there’s some of the ideas I’ve come up with… (Read less) — From the page […]
By: Twitter Trackbacks for If Rob wasn’t famous – his other jobs « Letters to Rob [letterstorob.wordpress.com] on Topsy.com on October 20, 2009
at 11:32 am
Yes!! I’d but a t-shirt (or a hoodie) any day.
Just make sure they ship to europe. 🙂
By: Josefin5 on October 20, 2009
at 11:42 am
With “MASEN” on the back, you mean? 😉
By: MariaCecilia on October 20, 2009
at 4:10 pm
YESSS ! “Masen” LOL
By: Tasha on October 20, 2009
at 4:37 pm
T-shirts? Yes! I know UC & Moon can come up with something that can really tell the world “I may or may not be a twilight/rob fan.” Do it!
By: unlikelyfangirl on October 20, 2009
at 11:43 am
I’m totally into Rob the park ranger / tour guide at Yellowstone. Rob? Pretty please?
By: gizmo on October 20, 2009
at 11:46 am
I love how Rob is our little….paper doll! We love putting him in different scenarios…thinking about him in different ways…
I wonder if he knows? He would laugh his ass off probably!
As far as jobs go…I could see Rob as a writer. or homeless. or a chippendale. He’s so versatile!
❤ Ash
By: Ashley Frag on October 20, 2009
at 12:22 pm
A homeless chippendale with photoshopped abs who busks outside coffee shops for a living.
Stick with the day job, Rob!
By: Emma C. on October 20, 2009
at 6:07 pm
I’ll give Rob a Job. Just sayin’.
M
By: myria101 on October 20, 2009
at 12:30 pm
Oh Yeeeaah!
By: Donna on October 20, 2009
at 12:34 pm
WIN!
By: Marz on October 20, 2009
at 1:58 pm
I shop at Antropologie all the time, and it will now never be the same.
My Personal Manservant. A job with all the benefits he’d desire.
By: ChinNubbin on October 20, 2009
at 12:41 pm
Um yes, he can tickle my ivories any day!
*Sign me up for at least 7 t-shirts! I want to have one for each day of the week. I need one with big daddy, one with fake lesbians, one with the jorted wolfpack, one “that’s normal”, one legal in Georgia, one ” I love creepy uncle” and one just plain LTT/LTR for those days I want to be discreet. I know you think I am being sarcastic, but I am totally serious. None of the people in the carpool line at school with know what the hell the t-shirts mean, and if they do, thats just awesome. They can be my new friend.
Oh crap, I forgot about “Buttcrack Santa”. I guess I need 8 t-shirts. How do I pre-order?
By: 3hboyshouse on October 20, 2009
at 1:11 pm
Microwave sales guy. He got the job because he wrote a mini-cookbook(free with every microwave purchase) titled “21 Microwave Recipes for Carrots”. It’s a pretty calm work environment at Big Al’s Appliance Haven, until Rob starts telling the surburban housewives about what he can do with a Hot Pocket- 🙂
T-shirts are a great idea 🙂
By: keller on October 20, 2009
at 1:14 pm
Rob as a hot, tan construction worker and the girls just oogle him all day long. I can’t get that Diet Coke commercial out of my mind-the one where the women all gather around the office window to watch the guy take off his shirt and sip DC. Ahhh…anyone else remember that bliss?
By: Kendall on October 20, 2009
at 1:36 pm
Dog sitter, my personal dog sitter, I would buy a dog and Rob will be all day and NIGHT in my house and I will have the best excuse to live with 2 men!
By: robgirl86 on October 20, 2009
at 1:51 pm
Chef Rob?? I’d gladly watch Rob microwave Hot Pockets in nothing but an apron….
By: foogirl on October 20, 2009
at 2:12 pm
I was thinking about the Plain Gravy teeshirt and then I saw @3hboyshouse’s response above.
So, the teeshirt for me would be black (huge) and would say “Plain LTT” on the front. Also comes in blue with “Plain LTR” on the front please.
I think Rob has incredible long legs, so if he wasn’t an actor, he could carry on with the dressing up habit imposed upon him by his cruel older sisters. A drag act called Claudia would go down a storm in London and Broadway.
By: Emma C. on October 20, 2009
at 6:12 pm
[…] If Rob wasn’t famous – his other jobs Dear Rob, What if you weren’t “Robert Pattinson” aka Edward Cullen? What if you weren’t the new […] […]
By: Top Posts « WordPress.com on October 21, 2009
at 8:08 pm