Posted by: themoonisdown | October 13, 2009

Rob Pattinson’s the new Johnny Depp?

A combination of the perfect man?!

A combination of the perfect man?!

Dear Rob,

The cute and somewhat delusional folks over at People Magazine are calling you “the new Johnny Depp.” Um, where’d the old one go? Last time I saw him (at ComicCon) he looked pretty darn good to me. Here’s what they say…

Johnny Depp made girls swoon on 21 Jump Street, but the actor went on to downplay his pretty boy looks by taking on chameleon-like roles, including playing a suburban curiosity in Edward Scissorhands and a transvestite director in Ed Wood.

Like Depp, Robert Pattinson has sharp cheekbones, that hair and a blockbuster movie franchise in Twilight. While the British actor has gained mass appeal playing brooding vampire Edward Cullen, he continues to go against type with quirky indies like How to Be and the Salvador DalΓ­ biopic Little Ashes.

(How to Be and Little Ashes? Seriously? Rob, we need some new material to talk about here. Help us out!)

And of course I wondered what if you were indeed the new Johnny Depp, what would that be like? And furthermore, what would Johnny’s movies be like if YOU had played the roles and not Johnny. So I ran over to IMDB like I always do and ran through Johnny’s body of work so see what we could Rob-ify, and here’s what I came up with… this is a look at some of Johnny Depp’s best known work, remixed to include YOU!

Follow the cut to read the Robified roles of Johnny Depp’s beloved movies

Arrrggghh matey's who be messin' wit da Heinie's?!

Arrrggghh matey's who be messin' wit da Heinie's?! (click to enlarge)

Pirates of the Caribbean franchise:
Capt. Rob Sparrow in The Pirates of South Barnes: Curse of the tainted Heineken – Rob remakes the mega Pirates franchise in his home town of Barnes London with friends Bobby Long playing BSchlong Turner and in a surprising (not really) turn of casting Tom Sturridge will play Rob Sparrow’s love interest: TomStuella as they embark on a swashbuckling pub crawl adventure through South Barnes to find the dastardly villain (*Spoiler alert: it’s Kristen*) spoiling all the town’s Heineken.

Sweeney Todd – The Demon Barber of Fleet Street:
Dirty Rob – The Unlikely Barber of Fleet Street – Rob is cast in theΒ  role of a barber who’s only client is an angsty teen movie star named Smristen Smewart. What was once a good hair stylist/client relationship turns nasty with Dirty Rob gives Smristen a mullet haircut in an attempt to “butch her up a bit.” Smristen reeks havoc on Dirty Rob’s barbershop by hanging out there non stop, frowning, smoking and attracting paparazzos, giving Dirty Rob’s barbershop a bad name.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Rob and the Hot Pocket Factory – A Documentary filmed, directed, starring Robert Pattinson. After Rob is personally invited by the company president to tour the Hot Pocket factory he decides to film his moving journey to the factory. Along the way we meet Bessy, the sassy filling inserter and Fred the cranky dough maker with a heart of gold. We also are treated to a ceremony where the employees and owners of Hot Pockets give Rob the key to the factory for single handedly saving their business with her personal endorsement.

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas:
Sulking and Frowning in Vancouver – Rob stars in this movie about a journalist turned paparazzo ordered to fly to Vancouver to try to get the million dollar shot of two supposed actors in love but hiding it on the set of their upcoming blockbuster movie. All he captures while following the pair though are hundreds of pictures of boring frown-y movie stars in dirty clothing. Though he tries every trick in the book from climbing into the male stars bedroom to bribing a maid for her uniform and master room key, he is unable to catch the stars in a pose that’s anything but sulky. He is fired.

Hold still... this won't hurt a bit

Hold still... this won't hurt a bit (click to enlarge)

Edward Scissorhands
Edward Cullenhands – Summit Entertainment buys the rights to Tim Burton’s classic (over Tim’s dead body) only to recreate the movie to include Edward Cullen as the main character: a hands-y vampire born with scissor’s for hands with a knack for cutting peoples hair and hedges with his “fangs.” Will the town of Forks accept this unlikely newcomer? Or will he be doomed to trim the grass forever?

So Rob and Johnny (of course you’re reading this, J!) what do you think? Time to switch up roles a bit? Johnny are you ready to tackle Cedric Diggory or Daniel Gale?! Ok… ok… it probably won’t work. And Rob, as much as I love you, you won’t ever be Johnny Depp! And that’s a good thing! You got your own deal going and we can’t wait to see how it plays out.

Bored and Smiling in Los Angeles,

So IF Rob was to ever remake a Johnny Depp role, which character should be be?

PS While perusing IMDB I found that Johnny has a Dali film in development… maybe there is more to this comparison than we originally thought…
Head on over to LTT for good times
Talk about Johnny Depp in the forum!


  1. OMG laughing sooooo hard don’t know which is my fave either Rob and the hot pocket factory – the synopsis for that I sooo good I’d totally see that film – or Sulking and Frowning in Vancouver ha ha – Am I first get in there !!!

    • Rob & the Hot Pocket factory… for sure. Will Dr. Evil make a special guest appearance, as well?

      • maybe they’ll get a golf cart stuck in a hallway!

        • I don’t know why, but that is absolutely killing me. I might have to go take something out to the warehouse so I can laugh and no one will notice.

  2. I have my $10 all ready to see that pirate movie. Just tell me where the line forms.

    • by the dumpster of course!

      • You know, when I first saw the Pirate poster I was like “WTF? Two Robs and a Bobby? I don’t get it.” Then I realized it was TomStu. They really are either secretly related or secretly doing it. Boys don’t look that much alike without some gossip being involved.

  3. Rob and the Hot Pocket Factory had me rolling on the floor laughing out loud! Yes, I just spelled that out, that’s how funny it was!


    You had me at “Hot Pocket” πŸ™‚

  5. Dude, Rob as Jack Sparrow?
    Effing BRILLIANT!!!
    Love, love, LOVE!


  6. I am an extra in ‘The Pirates of South Barnes: Curse of the tainted Heineken’ – I’m in the scene where Capt. Rob Sparrow, BSchlong Turner, TomStuella enter the third pub ‘The Golden Dumpster,’ where they go through a prolonged period of completely forgetting what the point of their adventure was. If you look to the right of TomStuella you can see me sitting in the corner drinking Jack Daniels and falling off my chair. Method acting, of course.

    • That sounds like this movie is a big improvement on the third installment of The Pirates franchise, because in THAT movie all the script writers were falling over drunk and as a result the audience had to go through a prolonged period of completely forgetting what the point of the movie was…

      I just came back from a trip where I had the opportunity to enjoy a lot of “method acting” in bars. I have to remember that this is what it really is next time I see it… πŸ™‚

    • pub name “the golden dumpster” HAHAHAA

  7. Of course Johnny Depp reads this. He keeps up on all of Rob’s blogs. I’m surprised he hasn’t sent you a picture of himself in a bikini that he took in his bathroom.

    This entire post was complete hilarity. Very switched on, Moon. One for the “best of” reel.

    • …or a picture of himself doing the “tuck”

      • Never say that again. I mean it! It is bad enough that Rob does the “tuck.” We do NOT want this trickling down into becoming something that is socially accepted.

        • Imagine if the tuck started becoming like…normal. My husband says that alot of guys have tried at least once and then he reminds me of the scene in Clerks 2 where Jason Mewes doe sthe tuck( so sad cuz I LOVE HIM, in a dumpster kinda way). WTF is going on here? Why is there this sick underground man thing( that’s what she said) making otherwise hot and funny men tuck their junk?

          It’s all his fault! I love you Rob but why? Sweet baby jesus why? Why would you bring this level of filthy dirty filthy dirt into my life?

          • I want to ask Mr. Fang about the “tuck” but I don’t want to explain to him why I am asking that. He already thinks I am mentally ill.

            I love Jay (Jason Mewes). I refuse to call him anything but Jay though. πŸ˜‰

            He does the “tuck” in Clerks 2? I need to watch that again obviously. It’s been awhile.

    • hahaha “very switched on” hahaa i dont know but thats just making me laugh

  8. Can I possibly be the second response? That is unusual for me! I’m normally more of a 2pm LTR-er (while I wait for the kids to come home from school).

    Anyway – the Pirates one was obvious but so funny! And with TomStu as the Kiera Knightly (is that how you spell her name?) role – so perfect! And the hot pocket factory actually got an out loud laugh.

    So, I know there was “first time” reminiscing here a few days ago, but I didn’t get time to post, so I’ll do it now. I think it is mine and Rob’s 1st anniversary! I read Twilight last Sept 25th (yeah, in one day) and had all 4 books done in a week. So then I read them all again. And then I read them all a 3rd time (weird for RL but normal for this group)

    After 3 full times through, I finally decided it was time to take this obsession to the internet, and I quickly discovered Rob. It wasn’t love at first sight, but after watching a few dozen videos and hearing him awkwardly stumble through interviews, I began to feel the love. And now, a full year later, I just bought a $10 (?!) US weekly special magazine about Rob & co. and, um, “read the articles”

    So Happy Anniversary Rob! If you and I actually knew each other, this would (possibly) be a more meaningful day for you. As it is, I think I’ll “celebrate” by eating cinnamon toast crunch for breakfast, microwaving a hot pocket for lunch while I pretend to play the guitar and having a few Heines and cigarettes for dinner while I read some obscure literature.

    Thanks for all the laughs UC & Moon!!!

    • it took you THREE reads to get to the internet?? you have a strong will!

  9. Dear Moon,

    Thank you for making my dreary day in which I have to take a Death & Dying test more livable.

    Is is weird that I find pirate Rob a little hott? No. Didn’t think so.

    ❀ Me.

    • Johnny Depp made finding pirates hot acceptable years ago. Savvy? πŸ˜‰

      • sigh. Johnny can definitely pull off the dirty pirate look… I never go for dudes with eyeliner, but dude. Johnny. Looked. Good. Rob’s halfway to pirate-fashion with the whole “dirty” thing…

    • Dear fanbanger, you are welcome! even though pirate rob kinda freaks me out


      ps please notice the hair on top of pirate rob’s head

      • Oh Hale. I completely missed the hair. The hotness is now gone. *sigh

      • so 80’s hair! yuck!

        • If KStew can rock that shiteous moolay( that’s french for mullet) then why can’t Rob? If he screwed up his again it would only make them even. For the record I’m team I hate that bitchsten. It doesn’t matter though cuz when my time machine is finished I will be hunting him down and making him love me.

          That’s normal.

  10. Dear Rob,

    You are not Johnny Depp. You are Robert Pattinson. Just thought I would clear that up. Also I saw a photo album on facebook yesterday entitled “Angel & Robert’s wedding.” Are you planning something w/o telling me? I do not like wedding surprises!

    ❀ Your favorite fangbanger,


  11. I think my head just exploded from the funny.

  12. I’m so loving this post, that words are escaping me. I’m left with just six: Rob and the Hot Pocket Factory!

  13. This is so spooky!! I was watching Once Upon a Time in Mexico this weekend and lusting over Antonio Banderas, Enrique Iglesias and Johnny Depp (I’m only human!) and thinking to myself that Rob’s career could develop like Johnny’s. He’s done a few quirky roles, well nearly all quirky roles so far – a vampire, a wizard, a mad bi artist, a completely loony airman (love him in uniform!!), etc. etc.
    We all know he’s got the looks and I genuinely think he has the talent to turn his hand to just about anything.
    Well here’s hoping he has a very long and continuing successful career that develops his talents.
    I’m looking forward to watching Rob for many many years to come (and not just my dvd library of RP movies).
    ps. yes I would applaud every single scene xxxxx

    • he needs to have a johnny depp style career! for sure

    • Did anyone see that The Haunted Airman is on sale at Best Buy this week?

      • Just ordered that movie, along with Vanity Fair, from Amazon. So excited!! Now I just need to figure out what to tell the hubby, when it arrives…

        Oh, forgot to mention that I have not seen The Haunted Airman, but now I own it, so I hope that I like it. I loved Rob in How to Be, so I am sure that he will be great…

        This is normal, right??

        • The Haunted Airman is weird, but Rob in uniform is HOT (real surprise!)

  14. Rob in a pirate movie would make me all kinds of happy. Plus, I’ve still got my slutty pirate Halloween costume from a few years ago, so…you know, there’s possibilities there.

    Also, can we got Rob animated a la Tim Burton?


    • Rob already looks like an animation in a Tim Burton movie:

      Tall, skinny, pale, awkward.

      • Love you for this.

      • I swear fang, sometimes you read my mind! I could so see Rob jumping from a rooftop all animated up with his lanky self with wild hair! I heart you

        • I try (to read people’s minds, that is). πŸ˜‰

          & I am thinking about making a decree that forces everyone to call me fang or fangbanger in RL. It makes me smile every time.

          • You will be smiling from your cell wearing your straight jacket if you try to enforce it. Just do it the right way. Have it legally changed.

          • True. As I work for an attorney, I could have him do the name change for me.

            Would people still take me seriously in this world?

  15. Johnny was my first movie star crush when I was a teenager. Rob is my current movie star crush now that I’m . . . well, not a teenager. It just doesn’t get any better than a post that combines the two.

    Now if we could get Johnny and Rob to star in a movie together (Brokeback Mountain 2?), I could die a happy woman!

    • ARGH! I love Brokeback Mountain! Seriously. I do.

      But J. Depp & R. Pattz together would be all sorts of hawt! And, yes, I now have a one way ticket to HALE.

      • I’ll be coming with you!

    • Oh no.. Rob and Johnny should NEVER be in a movie together.. EVER.. Can you imagine what that would do to TomStu?!

    • Yes! Rob and Johnny – the new Newman and Redford, Clooney and Pitt, Cusack and Piven, Affleck and Damon, Wallace and Grommit!

    • the movie film would melt from sexiness.

      • Would it be Pattinson and Depp or

        Depp and Pattinson?

        Things to ponder….

  16. This is too funny! Love the Edward Cullenhands manip with Johnny’s reflection in the blade, lol.

    I think for Rob to ever get to Johnny’s level he needs a Tim Burton in his life. Some hot, up and coming director to bring out his best.

      you seriously aren’t implying that Cougar Cathy did not bring out the best in Rob’s abilities?
      Surely, you jest

  17. Oooooooo it has to be the film Chocolat with Rob playing the part of Roux. As the film’s tag line says “sinfully delicious”….and let’s face it, this would like being in heaven, chocolate and Rob all for the taking in one film πŸ™‚


    • Ignore sentence structure, can’t type anymore after reading fan letters from yesterday!!!

      Kassa x

  18. There was talk a while back about Rob being in the next “Pirates” movie-I was imagining him in pirate gear, with a swagger and sexy slur (not much of a stretch, except for the pirate gear) and prayed for it to be true. Now,I’m not so sure.

  19. What JAG, no Ed Wood? You don’t think Rob could handle angora sweaters and pencil skirts while rocking a truly creepy moustache?

    I’d love to see Rob have a career like Johnny’s. And I think that he has the talent and brains to achieve it.
    I heard a rumor that Kellan is going to be in the remake of Nightmare on Elm Street, which we all know was one of Depp’s first major roles. Does that make Rob 2 degrees of separation from Johnny?

    • jag doesn’t write here. But WE (moon and uc) would love to see rob as ed wood.

  20. HE GETS FIRED? How about including a spoiler alert for ‘Sulking and Frowning in Vancouver’? Geez, Moon.

    I’m sure Johnny reads this. If there’s one thing Johnny is, it’s on top of all things pop culture.

    This was pure undiluted brilliance, fyi.

    • oops…. SPOILER ALERT! better late than never!

      and so true johnny is always on top of pop culture: alice in wonderland, he MADE pirates cool again

  21. “All he captures while following the pair though are hundreds of pictures of boring frown-y movie stars in dirty clothing.” Oh, you crack me up!

    I just watched Benny and Joon (again) this weekend. I think Rob could pull off Sam… or maybe I just want to dress him up like a silent movie star because apparently I have a vest fetish now.

    • ohhh benny & joon! it was on my list to “remake” but i couldnt figure out how to remix the title… NEXT TIME

      • I think KStew could definitely play a mentally ill woman.

        You can take that however you want. πŸ˜‰

  22. These are so funny, thanks for making me laugh! The Pirates of the Caribbean. Haha! You have some awesome photoshopping skills! I love how you have TomStu as the love interest :-). Keira Knightley would be jealous!

    I love Johnny Depp! I think he’s a great actor. I agree Rob can’t be Johnny Depp but at the same time Johnny Depp can’t be Rob either! I can’t imagine Johnny playing Edward Cullen!

    • “…Rob can’t be Johnny Depp but at the same time Johnny Depp can’t be Rob either. I can’t imagine Johnny playing Edward Cullen.”

      Johnny, while being enormously (that’s what she said) sexy, just could’t be the remote, very pale and austere, Edward Cullen we know and love/lust. Johnny is hottspice but he just isn’t aloof and mysterious as Rob. On the other hand, even though Rob, his three shirts and scruffiness just aren’t quite pirate-like enough (at least not for me, anyway).

      I just want to think of him as hot, smexy Robward, our adorkable man. In as little as possible. With his clothes on my bedroom floor.

      • Yeah Rob’s not very pirate-like. He’s more hobo-like and I heart him for that! Of course I won’t object to tux and suits either!

  23. LMFAOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    hahahahhahahhah thanks for making me laugh sooo hard. i totally choked on my breakfast (true story) thats prolly the best post ever!

  24. Rob as Gilbert…an extra hottt guy stuck in a small town with a mentally challenged sidekick. Wait, no, that’s Twilight except Bella just has a speech impediment and a few tics.

    • LMFAO!!!

    • HAHAHA what about the mom? and leo?

  25. I would like Rob as Crybaby, if not just for this scene alone!

    • @Superhumanmoron – OMG that got me all hot and bothered! Who do you think should be the leading lady if Rob plays this part? πŸ™‚

      • me

        • LMAO! Okay I was gonna say me earlier but I didn’t want to be so obvious!

          • I have no shame

    • OMG – we just wiggle our tongues together…..I just dies πŸ™‚

    • crybaby!! suuch a good movie!!

    • Is it normal that I giggled the entire 1:05? I think if Rob was doing that scene, he would giggle too.


    • @superhuman…WIN!! I would LOVE to see Rob play that part!! I love that movie!!

      @southernbelle…thank god it got you hot and bothered TOO! I thought something was wrong with me!! Whew!! πŸ˜‰

      • @LuvnRobAllDay – I meant to tell you that I love your screen name.

        We’re hormonal, hot-blooded females, yup normal to be hot and bothered! πŸ™‚

    • LMFAO!!!! I’ve actually never seen that scene!!! “If you don’t like, I’ll stop.”

  26. Uh…*highfive* for getting to see Johnny Depp at ComiCon or as I like to call it “added bonus” for one of the best days EVER!!!

    LMAO at your movie synopsis, I think you may have a few winners there. Just don’t let Summit give them to Catherine H bc they will make them all SUCK!!!

    • *high fives* we did rule that day and johnny made people go NUTS. more nuts than twilight!

      and nO cathy. NO NO NO

  27. Oh geez! How can I choose from all of Johnny’s great works?

    “Finding Neverland” would be great. He gets to be British, have TomStu running around in tights as the boy who doesn’t want to grow up. It could truly be brillant.

    “Sleepy Hollow” as Icabod…I would love to see him opposite the tiny little sprite Christina Ricci.

    And really how could you NOT include:

    “DONNIE BRASCO”!!!! opposite Al Pacino…brillance!

    ps. Rob will NEVER be Johnny.

    • I have to agree with you Sass….as much as I love our little dumplin Rob, he’s No Johnny. He may turn out to be something wonderful as well but there is only one Johnny and he’s damn near perfect.

      • And the choir said “AMEN!”

      • Aaaamen, halleluja, aaaamen, halleluja, aaaamen, aaaamen, aaamen!

    • True; Rob will never be Johnny!!

    • “have TomStu running around in tights as the boy who doesn’t want to grow up”.
      I visualised this (the tights were green and he might have been singing some cheery tune while pointing his wooden sword at everyone) and it made my day.

      Btw Rob would make a great madhatter too. He could write his own lines.

  28. I know Johnny would never do Daniel Gale (that’s what she said…), but he would be TERRIFIC in that role. I definitely heart Johnny, though I don’t lust for him like I do Rob.

    My vote for a Johnny movie remake starring Rob is Benny and Joon. He would be oh so darling as Sam.

    The topics you ladies come up with…! ❀

  29. I know the winner here – it would be Don Juan DeMarco!!!

    Rob as the greatest lover the world has ever known – it practically casts itself!!!

    I loved Johnny in that movie – he was hot as hell. The only one I think could possibly remake it and come close to Johnny would be Rob.

    Just imagine Rob romancing the woman stood up by her date at the hotel, Rob making all the nurses at the mental hospital insane with lust, Rob sexing up the queen of the harem!!! Holy crap!

    • And it starred one of Rob’s heroes – Marlon Brando!

    • “Rob as the greatest lover the world has ever known – it practically casts itself!!!”

      this would defs be some acting


      • OK, OK. So maybe I’m thinking of fan-fic Rob, as opposed to RealRob.

        I Love L.A. Rob would be great for the part!

  30. I think I am the only female on the planet who doesn’t like Johnny Depp. The man does nothing for me. However, I adored him as Jack Sparrow, cracked me all kinds of up….but other than that….nothing. I’m sorry….it can’t be helped! LOL!

    • WOW. Though I don’t lust for Johnny as much as I do Rob, Johnny still has appeal. I don’t see the allure of Brad Pitt, though. To me, Brad Pitt looks like a blonde monkey… Especially in the movie Troy.

      • Yeah, I don’t like Brad Pitt at all. He looks
        more like a girl to me.

        • You’re not alone on the Brad Pitt. I don’t really like him either. I don’t like Tom Cruise either. To me Tom and Brad kind of go together. πŸ™‚

          • True that! Tom Cruise is yuk to me. And Brad? Pass. Glad to see I am not alone

      • I knew there had to be more of us! hahaha, Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise, who? I just never saw their appeal.

    • Depp does nothing for me either.

      You’re normal…

  31. “Rob and the Hot Pocket Factory”! WIN!

    I can’t stop laughing!!!!!!

  32. Um Edward Cullenhands? AMAZZING. I’m a little disappointed we don’t get to hear about “Finding Neversten” though…

    • HA! Now that’s a movie I want to see.

      • I wish I had Edward Cullen’s hands on me.

        Yes, I know he’s fictional but a girl can still dream.

    • sadly the doorbell rang and i didnt get to finish this till LATE. no finding neversten this time around

  33. Wonderful post! But let’s hope Rob doesn’t read this, because this would intimidate him so much when choosing his future film projects.. How could he ever live up to this??

    Funny that you are pairing up Rob with Johnny now at LTR – I would do anything to get those two men in a room (yeah, like, have a heart attack probably…). But Rob is nowhere near Johnny Depps acting skills (or dark good looks) as yet, so putting him in one of JD:s movies is a sarky, but slightly cruel idea.. Let them run their separate courses, like the heavenly bodies they are. (Twinkle, twinkle, Rob!)

  34. TomStu is pretty.

    • I think you mean pretty hot. πŸ˜‰

  35. OMG! The resemblance is AMAZING!!! the hair and the style…. lol But I do agree with MariaCecilia, Johnny Depp has better acting skills than Rob… (sorry Rob, I love you but no lol) >_<…

  36. Bwahahahahah!!! Awesome!!!

    In that last one, all I can think of is Edward trimming Bella’s grass after reading LTT’s entry today.

  37. Come enter our TwiMilf’s TwiPornOff in the Forum:

    Yes, it’s a dreary, rainy day (MONTH!) here in Texas, and I decided to come up with a contest that would make me happy. I’m too lazy, uh, BUSY, to search for porn myself, so I’m asking everyone to bring it to us deprived (depraved?) TwiMilfs. Call me selfish, but post your best porn and win a prize!! Woo hoo!

    • Hey Bella’s Enemy (can I call you that?). Just kidding.

      I’m bad at posting pics but I’ll see what I can come up with. We need some decoration in the MlLF thread fo sho! Are you feeling better now? Why is is that we are all sick mostly at the same time!?

      • Cybergerms. They get me every time.

        I thought we could use a little decoration, too. I love looking at the perty Twipeeps, but don’t have much time to go hunt down the good pictures. I thought I’d see if we could get some other people to do our dirty work!

  38. I usually NEVER coment on this kind of stuff. But NO NO NO and NO!
    Robert Pattinson can NOT be compared to Johny Depp!!!
    Johny Depp has had a legacy of great work and different characters! And let’s face it HE KNOWS HOW TO ACT!
    Robert Pattinson is it at the beginning and yes he does have the potential to being a good actor but he still has a long way to go!

  39. I usually NEVER comment on this kind of stuff but NO NO NO and NO!
    Robert Pattinson can not be compared with Johny Depp!
    Johny Depp has had a legacy of great work and different, intresting and well played characters and lets face it…HE CAN ACT!
    Robert has the potential of being a good actor but he has a LONG way to go. He’s just started and he needs to work hard at it. He’s started!

  40. You have outdone yourself. I was laughing out loud in anticipation, even before I got to the cut. Nothing wrong with sitting around by yourself, laughing out loud, right?

  41. I love Johnny Depp! I don’t think that I’m ready to give him up for Rob yet. I’ll know the time has arrived when JDepp (thought I’d try that out) makes a movie where he is playing Rob’s dad…

  42. How about “What’s Eating Spunk Ransom”?

    Synopsis: Despite being accidently named after ejaculation, Spunk Ransom helps his mentally handicapped brother (Played by Kristen Stewart, who does surprisingly well portraying a small boy with a mental handicap) through everyday life in Forks, WA.

  43. Loved “Sulking and Frowning in Vancouver” lmao! That rocked.

  44. As long as you compare Rob to someone who has a long and relevant career, I’m fine with that.

    Comparing him with beautiful James Dean, who died driving his Porsche around LA (uh oh) after making just three movies was a little creepy.

    When I think about Rob and his career, I think of James Stewart. (and no, I’m not 98 yrs old)

  45. I loved skulking and frowning in Vancouver . .. it pretty much sums it all up. Please Rob, get some new clothes and have some real fun for a change!

  46. […] Rob Pattinson’s the new Johnny Depp? Dear Rob, The cute and somewhat delusional folks over at People Magazine are calling you “the new Johnny […] […]

  47. I would like Rob to play Depp’s character in The Astronaut’s Wife. There’s some hot sex in that one…and impregnating Charlize Theron with alien twins is just badass.

    Hot sex. Aliens. Twins. Rob. Total WIN!

  48. HAHAHA! This is too funny. I’m not going to lie, I would probably watch all of the movie re-makes you just named.

  49. As a die hard Johnny Depp fan, if Rob ever redid a role of Johnny’s I would hate him forever and ever and ever.

  50. This was amazing! I laughed so hard WELL DONE!

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