Gifting with Robert Pattinson

Dear Rob,

People send us stuff. It’s great. I just got some New Moon chocolate & Bobby Long & Marcus Foster CDs in the mail from Vickyb this week. Jena sends Moon and I letters on Robert Pattinson stationary (I think she even sprays it with your “scent” because last letter smelled strangely musty, smoky and with a slight hint of B.O.) Natasha blew our minds by sending Moon & I custom-made “UC & Moon” Heineken bottles the other week all the way from Holland. Seriously. That’s pretty amazing.

(Oh- and she sent us Dutch gifts too!)

But I feel like for the most part, people could use a little help when thinking of a gift for me. Since Christmas is coming up, I’ve started collecting ideas of what I might want Buttcrack Santa to bring me. You are obviously a huge part of my life, although you don’t know it. I know I’ve talked, in the past, about how I hide my obsession acute fondness of you from my “real life.” Well, I’m over that. Just like I’m over you never showing up in public anymore and never writing me back. Come on- I’ve been writing you daily for ten nine months now. What’s a girl gotta do?

Hopefully showing my devotion to you by being seen in public with the following items will finally get you to write a “Letter to UC” (and, if you’re willing to that, do you mind also meeting me out back by the dumpster for 6-7 minutes?)

Lay with me Rob (seriously, I dare you)

This pillow would look so nice on my bed, next to my husband & faded, orange stuffed giraffe named “Giraffealufagus” Plus it completely beats Moon’s Edward Cullen pillow and everything is a competition with us, so I win.

A pouch for my pencils (or your pencil, whatever)

With this pencil pouch, I’ll never have to worry about losing my pens & flinging a wandering tampon from the bottom of my purse in the face of the older man sitting next to me at church when he asks to borrow a pen to make out his tithing check.

A Remember Rob Necklace (not to be confused with the “Remember Me” necklace that I haven’t yet found on Etsy)

Currently I wear a locket around my neck holding a picture of my aunt who passed away a few years ago. It’s a pretty special momento for me, but I think she’d understand if I ‘upgraded’ to a beautiful necklace with YOUR face on it. I knowww she would’ve liked Rob and I’m pretty sure he would’ve liked her. She was a cougar. Helloooo

There’s more after the jump!

Wet Rob Earrings

While we’re on jewelry, why doesn’t someone pick me up a pair of these bad boys? Nothing says “I love Robert Pattinson” like a pair of dangling “wet Rob” earrings that aren’t even made from a real picture of him, but from a photo-shopped one! No hiding my acute fondness with these hanging from my ears! I’m sure to get some bonus time by the dumpster for this move!

Some Rob art

I went to an art show this past weekend and picked up some new prints from one of my favorite artists, Kurt Halsey. I hung them on the wall, but it still felt like it was missing something. I think this print where Rob looks like a member of the Huxtable family is just what the wall needs.

Rob-lace

Can you wear two necklaces at once? Because I need this necklace just as much as I need the vintagey-looking one above. I want two Robs around my  neck. They can talk to each other (Don’t think I won’t make that happen) Or kiss… Oh my.. did it just get hot in here?

Old Man Rob

No! NOW the wall is complete! Adding Huxtable Rob plus Old Man Rob to my wall of whimsical Kurt Halsey prints means my house is Rob-perfect!

Laptop Rob

Sometime when I’m sitting in the park with my lap top, I just feel soo guilty that people don’t know about my Robsession. I think by adding this decal, I can subtly say, “Yeah, I’m a fan. Not a crazy fan or anything- I wouldn’t do anything to deface a piece of expensive equipment per say, but yeah, I like Rob. I’d do him being a dumpster, in a thrift store or somewhere- anywhere. But I wouldn’t say I’m a crazy fan or anything.” Subtlety is what it’s all about.

A pouch I really desire

I  know I picked out a pouch above, but that was before I found THIS POUCH! This is the one I need. This is the one that needs to hold my pencils. This is the one the guy at church needs to see when he asks to borrow a pen. I will forever cherish this “Armpit hair Rob pouch.”

Can’t wait to see what gifts you get me! (please get me them all)

Love,
UnintendedChoice

It’s FRIDDAAAAY

Discuss Rob’s armpit hair on The Forum
Get caught up on the week’s news on LTT

all this crap found on Etsy. Search for “Robert Pattinson” you’ll find all this plus much, much more!