Posted by: themoonisdown | September 15, 2009

Forgettable Rob…

Hey guys, just me Rob Pattinson... no I'm not a waiter but I can get your a drink...

Hey guys, just me Rob Pattinson... nope not a random PA

Dear Rob,

Does it make you even the eensiest bit sad that you were like the last thing anyone talked about Sunday night? I mean besides the obvious Kanye/Taylor Swift nonsense and Lady Gaga’s cracked out costumes, but out of the Twilight cast? I was thinking back on it today and I couldn’t even remember clearly what you wore. My whole viewing crew was too busy swooning over the jailbait and Karen O’s twin to worry about if your shirt was even buttoned up correctly (it was).

So why the fail? Maybe it was the bland outfit, I mean you didn’t even try to rival the suit coat from the Color Me Badd collection at the MTV Movies Awards, so instead you just faded into the background next to the sparkles and the brawn.

I’m left here trying to figure out why I didn’t really notice you or care what was going on with you Sunday night. And that is just a travesty. With that in mind I revisited the videos and combed through all (read: 4) of the pictures from Sunday and came away with this conclusion: Besides the totally drunk slurred delivery of your lines before the trailer you purposely wanted to slither by in the background. Though I can’t say I totally blame you, this is a televised event that we ordered take out, baked baked goods, and dragged out the Edward pillow were looking forward to getting a little Rob fix. So to say it was mildly disappointing would be… about right!

When I looked back at the pictures trying to figure out why you were forgettable it became pretty obvious: you were the drunk shrinking violet while those two were stealing every shot… so of course here’s what I thought went down…

KStew: Ugh, can you believe we got all dressed up and this bozo shows up in a wrinkled shirt? PS I secretly love it, Shh don’t tell Rob, it’s all about keeping the mystery in a relationship Taylor, you’ll learn someday when you’re older and wiser like me.
Taylor: Um, ok you’re 19… So about Rob he’s all rumbled and blah it’s like I got this suit tailored so I’d be pulled together and not repeat that whole popped collar/Twilight premiere fiasco and he didn’t even try
KStew: For serious, that collar was gross, but can we talk about how amazing my mullet is and how Rob’s in a grandpa suit coat again and how he’s totally trying to get my attention but I’m faking not being totally into him?
Taylor: I know, he’s totally making a face at you right now, don’t look! But why hasn’t he acknowledged the tailoring on this suit, I mean it’s TAILORED for Taylor… get it???
KStew: What? Sorry was trying act aloof for the cameras again and totally zoned you out. Acting like I’m not with Rob and totally pissed at everyone is such a buzzkill
Rob: *thinking* I make the best funny faces!! This one’s gonna kill them, I practiced it in the bathroom mirror

KStew: Oh Em Gee you guys I’m so pumped to be at an MTV event talking to Twilight fans in my sparkly sparkly dress, with impeccable makeup and styled hair. This is SOOO me!
Taylor: *through clenched teeth* you’re laying it on a little thick, dontcha think?
KStew: So like I said whether you’re Team Jailbait or secretly dating the dude on my left, New Moon is totes about ME! You’re gonna love it! I scream, I ride motorcycles, I wear hoodies, I smile 3 times! There’s something for everyone!
Taylor: *through clenched teeth* don’t forget my pecs! I gained 30 el bee’s for this!
KStew: So enjoy this exclusive trailer for The Twilight Saga: New Moon Bella RULES!
Rob: *thinking and squinting* wow, I must have had way more to drink than I thought cause whatever she’s saying is totally not on the teleprompter. Crap, am I supposed to make something up too?

You see why I’m kinda forgetting about you?! All this other craziness was going on… so don’t make this a habit! Steal some of KStew’s lines next time, even if you slur them all! Unintelligible Rob is better than forgettable Rob! Truth.

Unforgettable… in every way!

So was I the only one who glossed over Rob? Was it just the excitement of the trailer and how awesome Taylor looked and how excited it was that Kristen glammed up a touch? Do share!

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  1. No, you weren’t. KStew and the trailer stole the show. I didn’t even notice the ovbious slurring and un-Roblike slapping of hands until I rewatched it this morning.
    In terms of Rob the night was a near complete letdown. No red carpet, no photos of his less-famous friend lurking behind his shoulder, no glimpses of him in the audience being oogled by Lady Gaga, no drunk Rob taking a swing at Perez for tweeting his location…

    If we couldn’t talk about how drunk he was we wouldn’t have anything to talk about at all.

    • I’m with Jodes… totally didn’t even realize Rob opened his mouth, I was way too transfixed on KStew. Didn’t notice Taytot either… It wasn’t until everyone started talking about how drunk Rob was that I went back and watched it again… and again… and again…. I think by the third time I finally cought Rob’s slurring.

      I swear I’m only a Fake Lesbian…

      • I noticed it on the second viewing, but only because I was looking for it.

        • I don’t know what you guys are talking about. The only thing I saw was Robward saying, “You can go to hell!”

          • That made me SQUEEE so hard!

          • Yeah – Robward saying “you can go to hell” was super hot. FAVORITE part of the trailer!!!!!!!!!!!!

        • I recognized as soon as he stepped onto the stage…before he slurred his first sexy word. Of course I’m a drunk and we can spot each other πŸ™‚

    • Agreed. It will require a bottle of wine, chocolates and a best-of-Rob video on Nat King Cole’s Unforgettable, to erase this deplorable media performance from my memory.

    • i defs had to rewind a few times otherwise i wouldnt have caught it either.

      • SLACKER!! I hear DRUNK ROB in my sleep

    • I totally got that the Mullet and Wolf Boy were stealing the the show!
      In fact she actually DAZZLED!

      As much as I get a kick outta him, Drunk Rob better pull himself together, or he’ll just fade away all together into obscurity in a year or so after all this is over. In the meantime, Mullet and the Wolf Boy will have gotten a toe hold to advance their careers, while Robbie may end up as a footnote of the Vampire mania sweeping the country in the late 2000.

      Good call UC/Moon

      • Ok, so someone just said down here in the blog that she dazzled cuz she was wearing some sparkly cream on her body.
        (sorry about that)

        So she pulled faux dazzle!! .. still the girl dazzled.
        She smiled too, which really quite nice.

        ps. normally I’m not so fake lez about Stewie… but WOW.
        talk about cleaning up. The short hair doo was cute too.

  2. KStew: So enjoy this exclusive trailer for The Twilight Saga: New Moon Bella RULES!

    Rob: *thinking and squinting* wow, I must have had way more to drink than I thought cause whatever she’s saying is totally not on the teleprompter. Crap, am I supposed to make something up too?

    Love these two comments!

    It is a funny old world but the thing I remembered most that night was the new trailer line where Edward says “and you can go to hell”. That was it for me, just hearing him say that made me forget that he wasn’t even in the audience, that it had taken me several minutes to actually find the MTV channel and that the final episode of True Blood that night was totally crap.

    Dirty Edward rules….ggrrrrrrrrr.


    • I was also more interested in KStew’s shoes – wow, I gotta get a pair!

      • KStew’s shoes were the star of the VMAs !

        • and they can be ours for $300 – I’ve already looked. They also come in a red colour πŸ™‚

          • I thought they could be ours for $245… that extra $55 dollars is a deal breaker for me….

            But the shoes were hawt!!

          • Oooooooo I am going to look again, $245 sounds a lot better than the pair I found yesterday online.

          • My bad, you were right $295… *sigh* they’re still freaking adorable


          • ordering…. now i will be 7ft tall….

    • That line kills me. Every. Time. So hot! So, so, SO hot.


  3. You weren’t the only one who glossed over Rob. Although I did maybe… perhaps… squeal like a little girl when I realized he was hammered. Cuz his accent sounds even hotter all slurred together. And he just looks so happy and relaxed.

    I think that was his goal though. And after Kanye’s utter douchebaggery, he didn’t even have to worry about being tweeted about on that wicked cool thing they had.

    So he showed up, slurred his one line, and managed to slip under the radar. He’ll be pushing New Moon soon so I don’t really mind so much.


  4. rob slurring his way through the teleprompter was quite awkward, its like he started out sort of drunkity kanye gangsta “Weerree briiggen taa yooh”
    then he suddenly remembered he’s British and slipped back into English slurring

    • “then he suddenly remember he’s British and slipped back into English slurring”
      = epic win!

    • i should do another picture and robs line after his slurred line would be:

      Rob: oh crap I’m british in real life… i should use that accent

      • Moon – “oh crap,I’m British in real life…I should use that accent.”
        Win – Epic Win !!!!!

  5. OMG this post was GENIUS! LMAO Had me laughing the whole time…I feel kinda guilty because although i really wanted to see Rob…I was MORE excited to see the trailer!! IDK with that has been going around him…I feel kind of bad for him and the way he’s being pushed in reclusion…I miss the good ol’ days when he could be more himself and be more relaxed and carefree in interviews and on the street! 😦

    • me too! happy/jokey rob was good times! he is my favorite!

      • Mine too πŸ™‚

        I love slurring, drunky, private school educated Brit boys, which is lucky as I am surrounded by SummerBoy, my brothers, his brothers, my male cousins, and all of SummerBoys friends.


    • Ditto… I hope those days aren’t gone forever.

      Maybe after BD is over and done and some of they hype had died down, happy/jokey Rob can come back out to play…

  6. I didn’t watch the VMAs, so I have nothing intelligent or entertaining to add.

    However, I will share with you that yesterday I passed a girl on the street who was wearing ‘Bella’s jacket’. Can’t decide whether it’s hilar or sad.

    • PP = hilar. hilar is fun.
      Bella’s jacket = sad. I draw the line right there.

    • *takes off bella jacket*

  7. Nopers. I completely agree. I was more fixated on KStews super cute dress and shiny locks, and Jailbaits sparkly-yet-sleak suit, then I was on my adorkably blah boyfriend (which is Robward btw). I was more in a tizzy about Rob when he was all like, “You can go to hell”, and showed off his bronzed enhanced abs in the trailer than I was when he read off of the teleprompter all “Heineken style.” Oh Rob…I still love ya my little wall flower. πŸ˜‰

    • Totally agree! When they all appeared on stage, the first thing I said was “wow, look at KStew, doesn’t she look great” and then I realized that I should really be looking at Rob.

      • Exactly. I was too busy have a mini-girl crush then I was ogling Rob. What’s wrong with that picture??!?!

    • “Heineken style” haha, I love it!!!!!

  8. Umm no.
    I kinda didn’t think much of him.
    I know, I know. I’m a terrible person.
    I am ashamed.
    But I think I was more gobsmacked at how ah-may-zing! Kristen looked.
    I mean, W-O-W!
    And while Tay is cute, I was more focussed on regulating my breathing before seeing the trailer.
    So, to conclude: ROB! I wanna hear you speak MORE next time! That accent is sexy as hell and kinda gets me hot.
    Okay? Okay.


    • girl you know i didnt! aint no shame. he’s just gotta bring his a game next time!

    • I thought New Moon was the whole idea of playing down…

  9. Yep, Taytay and the Kgirl totally owned it…….well the trailer OWNED it, as I said yesterday the Rob being beat up thing had me all the way and I do mean ALL THE WAY!!!!!

    I must admit {ducks for cover} but I was kind of hoping MamaClaire was watching and got on the phone and gave out to him, ’cause much as I love me {and I would DO} some drunk Rob, he has got to get with the program a bit. Having a 17 year old pulling the professional thing off so well doesn’t make you look good at 23…..yes the Mum in me is here today as the COUGAR is sleeping……..for a little…..

    • True, Taylor is very pulled together for a seventeen year old-but I love that Rob doesn’t care or feel the need to compete with that. Yes it was obvious he put no effort whatsoever into getting dressed (or staying sober). I love that he’s not a typical Hollywood golden boy, impeccably dressed and saying what he’s told to say(ok at the VMAs he was told what to say-but he said it while DRUNK). There must be dozens of designers dying to dress him(nice alliteration, no?) and he wears whatever the hell he wants. And I like it that way. I don’t think I’d find him nearly as attractive if he was a good boy and did everything he was told, dressed the way he was told to dress,etc.

      • Hear hear!

        That is exactly what I like about him too. He knows that with glamming up a bit he could easily outshine the others and get all attention on himself (again), but he decides not to do this and instead gives the other two a chance to take center stage. I can’t see any other golden boy do this.

        Way to go!

      • Yes… this! All of it!!

  10. To be honest he’s going to go to Promotional Hell in about a month so I’ll give him a little respite from the limelight this time!!

    KStew is the poster child for ‘scrubs up well.’

    • TRUTH!! that girl can look SO awesome when she tries even a tiny bit

  11. Yay, Rob! You went unnoticed, that night! I’m happy you were able to get jiggy with it backstage when Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” played and that you got all drunk on us, ’cause let’s face it: Drunk Rob is the BEST Rob πŸ™‚

    The thing I realized at this year’s MTV awards is that Rob is the sweetest person EVAR! (Okay, maybe I didn’t just realize it, but the awards show made it more obvious.)

    He bent over (nearly falling off of the stage because 1) he was drunk and 2) the fangirls musta pulled him down a bit) and was super amicable to the fans. Kristen just waved… I dunno. I thought it was cute on Rob’s part to be so friendly! (You know… especially since most fans… ok, just the crazies… MAUL him whenever they see him…)

    The thing I missed most was the lack of TomStu in the background! Come on, Rob! You chilled with him practically 24/7 in NYC this summer! Did his invitation get lost in the mail?! I wanted some bromance time… Snif. Wonder when I’ll see those two together again…?

    • TomStu is currently on stage in London in a BRILLIANT play called “Punk Rock” and he is excellent.

      But if you knew this and you were just being funny and teasing Rob then…..

      YEAH, more Bert and Tommy together!!!!! please


      • Oi, please don’t say Bert ever again! Makes me thing of gay Sesame Street puppets.

        (Don’t hate…you all know Bert and Ernie are life partners!)

      • Hahaha, I thought you had written Bert and ERNIE! hahahahaha! Too funny!

        Anyway, I was jokin’ *sigh*… Though I still hope that TomStu will fly wherever Rob is so that they can have some quality amigo-time. I know, I know… I’m a romantic when it comes to platonic male friendships. πŸ˜‰

        • Bert (haha, sorry) NEEDS to come to London to see his best bud making his stage debut.

          TomStu is freaking awesome and Bert needs to see it!!!!! Srsly!!

          πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

      • TomStud.. er.. TomStu !!?

        YES! he’s on stage in London, got GREAT reviews. Critics were hoping he’d do more theatre!! (sigh). After London, he’ll be in Manchester with PunkRock and then by Nov. he’ll be able to be with Robbie and the Order of the Plaid will commence once again.

        Long live the bromance.

    • HAHA you KNOW he was loving seeing beyonce since he used to ALWAYS mention her in interivews. nice reminder!

      • Patty reminds him of Beyonce.

        He needs to come see Patty too.

        31 October – LONDON – please RoBERT!!!!



      • OOOHH
        Where is the vid of Robbie Dancing to Single Ladies backstage at the VMA?
        You’s got to post it pronto!!!..
        I missed out on that.


  12. Rob didn’t disappoint me: he was there, he was slightly drunk and although his shirt was buttoned properly, his collar was wacky and uneven AND the shirt was kind of wrinkly. Classic Rob.
    Plus there are several HQ photos of him smiling and looking relaxed.
    That’s enough for me – and remembering the big drought of august 2009 that lasted 9 (?) days, that’s plenty of Rob for one week.

    • Draught 2009!!!! Epic Win!

    • what about the draught of xmas 08-winter 09?! god that was horrible!

  13. I don’t think Rob really stood a chance in the midst of the three ring circus that was going on-Kanye, Lady Gaga, Pink’s high-wire act-he came out drunk, slumped over and wearing the most nondescript clothes ever. Not even any plaid. Who was looking at him-everyone was wondering who that attractive, clean, mulletless female in the middle was-oh. It’s Kristen.
    Really they should have let poor Rob stay in Vancouver and relax, for all we saw of him. I’m hoping we see a lot more of him promoting NM-65 days!! That trailer had me in goosebumps.

  14. I didn’t watch so I can’t really comment.

    But I CAN say that the manips that JodieO did yesterday in the forum of these pictures were awesome!

    I prefer the made up lines that we (LTT/R) put in their mouths (that’s what she said) than what actually happens. Much more interesting in my opinion.

    • I’m with you girl…..the one that suggested windy Rob had be in tears….I ❀ JodieO….

  15. Moon! Love it – can we have more posts like this. You write so perfectly about what they’re thinking. How about the one where he has his arm around her, her hand in INSIDE his jacket and poor Taytay is sort of scrunching up alongside them like a big gooseberry wolf.

    • i have what my grade school teachers call an “overactive imagination”

  16. Yeah, it’s pretty sad when more people were concerned with whether or not KStew cut her hair than with anything concerning Rob…

    And to be honest, as awesome as the trailer was, it was pretty much the exact same thing that I had been watching all weekend. Of course other than the “You can go to hell” That was awesome!

  17. Mmmmkay, so K, Tay, and Tray owned the night.

    But…Rob was SAUCED! Possibly with more than a few heinies…IYKWIS! I had several reactions..they went s/t like this:

    Excitement! Wonder… Enthralled. OMG? Wait. LOL!!! CRINGE. LOL!!!!! Um…that’s hot.

    And this is all before the trailer.

    I am, however, hoping this doesn’t indicate a permanent pattern for our boy. But my fam is English/Irish…so I, uh…know better.

    • english/irish power!!! maybe we ARE related!!

      • DOOD! It’s just getting creepy. Wait….do you order chocolate shakes late at night from the drive thru window using your best Jimmy Stewart impression, whilst naked wearing only a boa constrictor around your neck??????

        I KNEW IT!

        ❀ U…xoxo

  18. I was dissapointed that there was not enough Rob sighting. But still I was so happy to see him, drunk or not! I’ll take anything I can get!

    Yeah Kris and Tay looked amazing but I was still focused on Rob :-). It’s a good thing my husband works at night because I was squealing a lot when Rob finally showed. He would never understand.

  19. I didn’t notice him really either. Both R and K are so awkward, but K takes the cake – she is painfully awkward. I get transfixed on how she will act, what she will say and everything else just fades into the background, sadly even Rob in this instance.

    • me too! i kept wondering if she’d trip or drop something like the movie awards. no dice though

  20. I thought Rob looked relaxed and happy for a change. He actually looked excited to see his fans.
    So Rob slurred a little. If I had to sit through that truly heinous show, I know I’d need a few cocktails to get me through it. So he wasn’t dressed as nicely as Taylor (who looked amazing).
    Isn’t that one of the things we love the most about him? That he doesn’t have to be the “shiniest” star out there. He’s just Rob. He shines regardless of what he’s wearing.

    The trailer was absolutely amazing. I’ve never been so excited about a movie that doesn’t come out for 65 more days. Hearing Rob deliver the
    “You can go to hell” line nearly had me in flames!

  21. AGREED!
    He probs didnt want to be there. I mean why were they presenting a new Movie trailer at a MUSIC video award show?

  22. Can I just for a moment say that I feel sorry for Taytay! I mean you know good and well he probs has a mini crush on Kstew…..I am sure we also know that she probably acts like she doesn’t even know him during filming and such…..then when the publicity stuff rolls in she is hanging all over him to look like she is “not into Mr. Amazing”……awwww poor Taytay….chopped liver. He just wants to be one of the cool kids! πŸ™‚

    I glazed over Rob until he started speaking and then I couldn’t look away……Drunk Rob forever!!!

    • I know! I definitely agree. It’s so obvious that Taylor was trying to get in on the group shots and Kristen was totally blocking him out. 😦

      Poor little fake Jake. No Bella in the movie or real life.

      • Hahaha!! “Poor little fake Jake”…..lurvs it. Seriously….he is just the smoke screen. πŸ™‚

  23. I noticed Rob, but not as much as I would have had KStew not been glammed up. She looked fierce. It’s funny because if it were any other celeb, we’d probably be all over her for wearing the wrong color for her pale skin, but we’re all just so happy that she was wearing something tasteful that we’ll let it slide. I personally didn’t even notice Taylor – dude does nothing for me. Too young and clean cut for me.

    But when it comes down to it… the trailer rules it all.

  24. “So like I said whether you’re Team Jailbait or secretly dating the dude on my left”

    bbaaahhh, Team Jailbait.

    Loved Kristen’s makeup. Girl can clean up!
    I also noticed in the HQ shots over at Robsessed that she had on shimmer lotion….she was totes sparkling!

    Love Rob’s hair….le sigh.

    How in the hell is Taylor so damn charming and sophisticated and well mannered at the age of 17? Wows!

    • It’s the Filet-O-Fish…they have lots of Omega-3…proven to make your kids sophisticated and well mannered.

      The FDA says so.

      • Omega 3!!! YOU WIN! hahahaa

        • LMAO!

      • LMFAO!!

        Hey, wait… if that’s the case, I totally need to get my kid to eat those! I love her, but she’s a little monster…

  25. LMAO. I loved the dialogue you attached to the pics Moon. I like Kristen & she was very pretty that night, but I couldn’t help but shake my head every time she would get “cozy” with Taylor & pretend not to be into Rob. Puh-leeze Kristen, get over it. And I can totally see her being all “when you’re older …” to Taylor and Taylor being all, “Dude, you’re only 2 years older than me. Duh.” LOL.

    I agree Rob was nondescript but I preferred this outfit (Dries van Noten suit BTW) to the one he wore to the MTVMA. That purple blazer was just ugh, altho Rob’s speeches were adorable. I guess it’s also because he just presented this time so limited screen time. Altho color me among those very disappointed when they didn’t walk red carpet & sat in their seats. :(( When was the last time we heard from Rob? That’s ages ago. I miss Rob. 😦

    • seriously, just give it up guys and be together if you are!

  26. I’m with most of you – I did not even realize Rob was sloshed until someone pointed it out to me the next day. Gotta admit – it was so cute! I should’ve been tipped off since he was the only one really smiling and slapping fans’ hands on his way to the front of the stage. Tay-tay seemed a bit uneasy – maybe he knew just HOW drunk Rob was and was too worried his pal would take a digger off the stage to enjoy his big moment with KStew! Poor kiddo! The two of them looked great, though, and totally stole the show away from Rob. But the trailer was the real star – loved it!
    Moon and UC – you guys rock my world! Love both posts today!

    • I heart you hard for saying take a digger!

    • awww thank you ldawg!

  27. I agree, I totally think Rob needed an ‘off’ night where he didn’t have to do much of anything. They’re having to attend so many of these damn things and will be doing more, he was probably like “the VMAs can suck it!” Booze made it tolerable. Don’t blame him one iota.

  28. Um, yeah, I was sort of transfixed by how good the other two looked. I made Mr LPB watch later, and he said, ” He looks kind of strung out.” I told him to shut it, because my boyfriend is TIRED. He has been working very hard, and he needs a vacation. He looks like he needs a vacation, doesn’t he?

    • He can take a load off at my place….

      • Oh, yeah, and by a vacation, I mean a month at my house…

    • My thoughts exactly… Rob definitely looked tired. Tired of the whole mess. I didn’t realize that he was drunk either, until the next morning. I feel bad for him, because this is only the beginning of many events that he will have to deal with. Let him get drunk, if that is what he needs to do to get thru the next 65 days. I love drunk Rob!!
      Taylor looked great, but I was the most impressed with KStew. She looked amazing, but did a really bad job of hiding the fact that she’s totally into Rob. Watching her pretend to talk to Taylor, made me sad for him.

      UC and Moon rule. Great post!!

  29. I don’t know what you all saw but I didn’t even know there was anyone else on the stage with him until I read this. All I saw was my sweet hunk of drunk love, heard some angels singing (like they do every single time I see him) and then there was some mumbling, slurring and a movie trailer.

    • yes. yes. yes. πŸ™‚

    • *Sigh* I know the feeling.

    • I agree, I barely noticed Taylor and Kristen, looking all put together and normal…whatever! Rob was glowing and now I know why–it was the Drunk Rob Glow! It was the same glow he had in that old paparazzi video of him leaving a bar in LA back when he had the sex hair. I think he looked amazing. Anytime when he looks clean and is wearing clothes that don’t look like they smell = WIN!

      And Takechargeward saying “You can go to hell” ??? Um, that’s hot.

  30. Rob was there? I only saw Adam Brody…

    • AAAAAMMMMEEENNNN SISTER!! i squealed like a little girl

  31. Is it just me or does KStew look like Rumer Willis in the first pic?

    • I thought the EXACT same thing!!! But figured I would get skewered if I said anything. But she does a lot when she does that jut the chin out bite the lip thing she does in just about everything.

  32. that post is hilarious, KSTEW LOOKED AMAZING, Kuddos to her for fab dress & shoes yes couldnt keep my eyes off her, taylor looked perfect of course, and rob the shirt is just classic rob & thats why we loveum!~

  33. I agree with ItsLauraHoney – are you sure there were other people there? I only had eyes for Rob – lovely, drunken, slurry, smiley Rob *sigh*

  34. this post was hilarious, and while I wish the entire three hour suck-fest that was the VMAs had been simply Rob in front of the camera doing whatever the hell he wanted, I’m sure he was perfectly content with the way the night turned out. Let’s face it, it must be a lot of pressure to know that thousands of women across the globe HATE Kstew because of you. And it must feel pretty strange that despite all your attempts to duck the spotlight by wearing rumpled clothes and getting smashed (which are obviously major turn-ons for those of us here) and push attention toward your eager, earnest, hardworking costar, Taylor, all the attention still comes right back to Robward. Yes, we were distracted by the glorious trailer and by how well Kstew cleaned up and by how pristine Taycob looked, but now the smoke has settled and we’re right back to obsessing over you. Apparently even boring, forgettable Rob casts a pretty powerful spell.

    • Ahmen, let us not forget at whose altar we kneel before.

  35. Whether it’s Taylor, Taylored or Jacob, none of them seem to get me past my defrosted state. I really tried this time, since the suit looked really great, but still…nothing. I’m sure there must be something wrong with me for not getting it. Does he come with a manual or something?

    • It’s not just you. I think it’s because he’s 17 and I’m . . . not. It’s feels a little (and by a little, I mean a lot) creepy for someone my age to be panting over a kid. He is adorable, he’s built and he’s polished. It’s nothing against him personally, but Rob is just more my cup of tea (and age). I like the dirty and sometimes drunk Rob. One of the first things that drew me to him was the fact that he just blurted out whatever he was thinking during interviews. I really like the unpolished and candid Rob that we used to get.

    • Manual or no manual, the kid is smokin’!
      I am team edward all the way, and then some, but part of me wants to be a mentor to taylor. Just take him under me, um, ahem, under my wing and teach him the ways of life and love. And sweaty sex. I mean, and morals, teach him good morals…
      I can’t help it, dude has assets!!!
      Just sayin’

    • No it’s not just you. Taylor genuinely seems like a nice guy tho, very eager & articulate, and best of all, doesn’t come across as just fake & trying too hard. But does he ever make me forget Rob? Never.

    • I agree, too. I’m just not getting the Taylor attraction – pecs or no pecs. All he seems to do in the trailers is flex his muscles and look intently into the camera through his eyebrows. Also, he’s the anti-Rob: always dresses well, says the right things, acts professional. I’m mean, who needs another Hollywood robot boy? Give me Rob – you never quite know what’s gonna happen when he’s around. I like surprises. :^)

  36. Fully agree – Taylor looked like he was auditioning for Sat Night Fever and he should have sent his tailor over to Kstew to help her with that dress fitting. Now that I am watching the clip again I am remembering how I love that Rob gets drunk at things like this. It is so Rob to get schnockered at the VMA’s. I hope he gives us some better second had embarrassment next time…

  37. My first thought…the boy is totally hammered. Second thought…he looks like s*%t compared to KStew and TayTay. What goes through this kid’s mind? He need to try…just a little. The ladies are going to get a bit peeved at the stale, nonchalant performance. Step it up Rob! You are beautiful and loved. Let it out Boy! We miss you.

    • I disagree! πŸ™‚ I don’t think I’ll get sick of his nonchalent performance, because I don’t think it’s a performance. I really think what you see is what you get. I thought he looked good Sunday night. His look is just different than Taylor’s. Taylor has the more polished and clean-cut look, which is great for the studio. I have not doubt he will be fantastic in promoting NM. The kid has serious media skills! But Rob is more for us *ahem* “older” ladies, who like our men tall, dark and dirty!!

  38. I was left a little relieved after watching it, honestly. I mean, wasn’t it just a few days before we were lamenting on his need to word vomit the first thing that comes to mind as soon as he gets a mic in his hand? I mean, he didn’t talk about making a poo on national television. He didn’t exhault the hotness of fourteen year old girls. And, he wasn’t wearing a purple suit, which in and of itself, is impressive.

    Yes, he may have imbibed a little bit before hand. Okay, maybe alot. Honestly, when he first came out and was doing the happy hand slappy thing, I thought, Oh no! the Sweaty Drunk Rob Train is a comin’, look out! But, he pulled himself together for the five minutes that was required of him. And then he danced like a bitch backstage to a song that I secretly adore, and dance like a bitch to in private.

    So, all and all, I was good. And by the way Rob, the “You can go to hell” thing rocked!

    • I ❀ u for this post! Sides still hurting…. "sweaty drunken Rob train"!!!

  39. Who says we don’t love KStew! She was smokin’!

  40. Well, I didn’t watch the VMAs; I have an intolerance of screaming teenagers. But, when I finally watched the introduction, I did notice Rob! When Kristen said, “Whether you’re Team Jacob or Team Edward,” my heart stopped. It was something about the way Taylor looked and the sultry look on Rob’s face while scratching his lip that made my heart stop. I was, until recently, Team Robward, but it was just something about those looks made me want them to compete for what team I’m on. Taylor with his looks (and muscles), but Rob with his raw sex appeal (oh yes). But unfortunately when Rob opened his mouth, that magic was gone.

    I just couldn’t help but think that he feels he can do no wrong. Which, I don’t blame him; sometimes we (the fan-base) give off that vibe. I think he believe that he doesn’t have to try anymore and the ladies will still swoon anyway! To be honest, he’s probably right.

    It just makes me sad. I don’t blame Rob for wanting to fade into the background, but I want to see him try to impress us! It’s like when your in a relationship and your SO suddenly starts slacking off, and all you want is just to know that he/she is trying to impress you (and maybe appreciates you) just a least a little! I just don’t want to be totally in love with a movie star and every single picture I see is him absolutely miserable! He’s turning in to KStew and it makes me want to punch him. It’s a little alienating as a fan and hell of a lot annoying.

    Nonetheless, I’m glad he had a good time that night. πŸ™‚

    • In his defense, he was mobbed in the streets of New York while trying to film a movie. He’s been chased down alleys and followed through airports. He’s had to listen to his friend/girlfriend KStew being called a bitch by some random “fan”. I’d probably be starting to get a little bit pissy too.

      Not to mention that he had to sit through that 3 hour crapfest called the VMA’s. I’d be drunk too . . . oh wait, I was! πŸ™‚

      • Re; the New York filming.. and mob scenes.
        It was really odd, how the fan girls just knew where to show up when they were filming. Some say that Summit’s PR was responsible for that little fiasco (to gain more PR for the movie) and that folks knew about.

        I’m sure Robbie wasnt happy about it, but he seemed resigned to having to deal with it for PR sake.

        • Oh, I guess you didn’t hear the other rumor. The other rumor is that Emilie De Ravin’s peeps (with her encouragement) gave out locations quite freely. They were also the ones who tried their damnedest to generate some heat between their (recently separated and soon-to-be-divorced) client and the Hobolicious One.

          Supposedly Rob and his peeps found out that Emilie and her peeps were helping to generate the chaos that surrounded that shoot and put the kibosh on it. It almost seems plausible, too. Remember at the beginning of that shoot that Angelface and Ms. De Ravin were carpooling and being friendly and whatnot? Not to mention there were suddenly zillions of GAH(!) Robpix available? By the end of that shoot, pix were trickling out and Babeston Churchill and Ms. De Ravin were arriving to the set separately.

          As with all gossip and rumor, YMMV.

    • “It’s like when your in a relationship and your SO suddenly starts slacking off, and all you want is just to know that he/she is trying to impress you”

      To me, he doesn’t seem to be slacking off at all. He’s the same as he’s always been… which is one of the things I love about him.

    • Ah I can see where all of you are coming from. I completely understand him being miserable. Being mobbed all the time, not being able to stay in one place for more than 20 minutes. But I just want to see him SMILE! I just don’t want him to be miserable!

  41. Rob,
    Don’t worry, I noticed you. And I know that means the world to you. I noticed within the first 2 minutes of Russell Brand’s opening comments that you weren’t being shown like everyone else when he said your name (ERRRGH) I noticed every time they introduced someone that was NOT you (seriously Megan Fox needs to take her thumb toes and stand in front of a mirror all day, I’m sure she be very happy) And of course, when you stumbled out and tried not to smile when girls screamed “TEAM EDWARD” but you did anyway. And then, the crowning glory, my favorite DrunkRob. I literally said out loud “Aww he’s drunk” like it is the most endearing thing ever to be sloshed at a televised event. But darling, when you do it, it is. If no one else wants to notice you, you can bring that Color Me Badd coat over to my house (yes I was a fan) and serenade me with your best wasted version of “I Wanna Sex You Up” I will notice.

    • O.M.R. DrunkRob serenading with I Wanna Sexx You Up? Can someone puhlease make a video of that? Right now? I need to hear that OUT LOUD.

  42. Let’s face it. We were too busy stuffing cupcakes in our face and trying to decide what LADY GAGA was wearing…

    ALSO. If Rob looked any hotter I think our heads would have exploded…Kstew had my attention as it was…

    I am died.

    ❀ Ash

  43. Oh KStew.. taking the spotlight like that.. At one point when they first got on stage, the camera zoomed in on 2 girls looking confused and all whispers. And I knew what they were thinking ’cause I was thinking the same: “Where’s the mullet?!” And that’s when I started panicking and Rob was apparently saying something and I was all like Shut up Rob, you told her the mullet sucked didn’t you? You go on and do something like that and she looks respectable again. Why do you always have to tell the truth? Shit.
    So yeah, the night was a fail for me too.

    • When they show the two girls, if you listen closely – Rob said something like “go ahead – you look cute”. Maybe K was nervous about when to begin.

      • Oh.. I see.. If that’s the case the girls were probably thinking “Did he just say that? Robsten is so on.”

  44. I noticed Rob almost fell off. Was he drunk on booze or valium ? being on stage in front of Beyonce must have put so much pressure on him. He hearts Beyonce.

  45. Moon, your post is hilarious—from your point of view—was relieved that i’m not the only one wondering what you’ve all been smoking—so Rob was a bit sloshed, so it looked like he came in his pyjama top, so he slurred a bit here & there—when Rob appears there are no shoes for any price, no Ralph Lauren suits—there is merely heaven—i really think of him as an inverted male version of Lady Gaga: she overplays, he underplays—bottom line for both is along the lines of f_me_sideways—love it—<3

  46. What??? Rob forgetable?? I think not. The man look smashingly beautiful to me. Everyone around cease to exist whenever he is around.
    I’m not a kstew fan at all. She is not pretty. She looks like an average highschooler going on her prom.
    I think everyone is blinded by the fact cus she is bella.

  47. funny thing after the vmas were over I totally noticed that I didn’t notice him I sure as hell noticed Edward in the trailer but Rob not so much. Maybe because I was annoyed that he shaved for this i’m not the biggest fan of a clean shaved robward, or maybe it was the wrinkled bland shirt or the fact that his pants were as high wasted as a pair of mom jeans. All in all I think I prefer rob in his usual beenie, scruff, t shirt and his one pair of jeans. If he would have shown up like that I would be swooning for sure.

  48. Pedestals. Don’t we just love to spin them to the top only to spin them even faster on the way down – the swivel ones are the best.

    So, has it started? Is it now cool not to like?

    Who ya gonna start writing to now?


    • You must have just started reading…

    • Rob, is that you?

    • bow wow yippi yo kai yea!

      TammyO is back?

    • Mama clare, is that you?

  49. mmmm he was scrumptious! haha.. tho ur right.. i didnt squeel too much this time 😦

    he needs to come back into the spot light so i get my daily crack/rob fix ❀

  50. Didn’t you know?! Rob and Kristen have a VERY elaborate and foolproof way of deciding who takes the spotlight by dressing better, acting responsibly, and talking in scentences, while the other one can enjoy themselves however they please, when they have to do events like this….

    R&K: Rocks, papers, scissors…. shoot!

    kristen: F*CK!

    Rob: YESSS!!! haha! FINALLY i get to take the backseat tonight!

    Kristen: how did you win?! i always win?! i always get to take the backseat!


    Kristen: ughhh! (calls stylist) i lost so i have to wear the girly outfit and hair and makeup… send the leather pants back. (to rob) you still have to wear a suit…

    Rob: i know… but i’m NOT IRONING ANYTHING!!

    • WIN! WIN! WIN!

    • SUCKER!!!


    • …but I’m not ironing anything!

      Classic. x

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