Does it make you even the eensiest bit sad that you were like the last thing anyone talked about Sunday night? I mean besides the obvious Kanye/Taylor Swift nonsense and Lady Gaga’s cracked out costumes, but out of the Twilight cast? I was thinking back on it today and I couldn’t even remember clearly what you wore. My whole viewing crew was too busy swooning over the jailbait and Karen O’s twin to worry about if your shirt was even buttoned up correctly (it was).
So why the fail? Maybe it was the bland outfit, I mean you didn’t even try to rival the suit coat from the Color Me Badd collection at the MTV Movies Awards, so instead you just faded into the background next to the sparkles and the brawn.
I’m left here trying to figure out why I didn’t really notice you or care what was going on with you Sunday night. And that is just a travesty. With that in mind I revisited the videos and combed through all (read: 4) of the pictures from Sunday and came away with this conclusion: Besides the totally drunk slurred delivery of your lines before the trailer you purposely wanted to slither by in the background. Though I can’t say I totally blame you, this is a televised event that we ordered take out, baked baked goods, and dragged out the Edward pillow were looking forward to getting a little Rob fix. So to say it was mildly disappointing would be… about right!
When I looked back at the pictures trying to figure out why you were forgettable it became pretty obvious: you were the drunk shrinking violet while those two were stealing every shot… so of course here’s what I thought went down…
KStew: Ugh, can you believe we got all dressed up and this bozo shows up in a wrinkled shirt? PS I secretly love it, Shh don’t tell Rob, it’s all about keeping the mystery in a relationship Taylor, you’ll learn someday when you’re older and wiser like me.
Taylor: Um, ok you’re 19… So about Rob he’s all rumbled and blah it’s like I got this suit tailored so I’d be pulled together and not repeat that whole popped collar/Twilight premiere fiasco and he didn’t even try
KStew: For serious, that collar was gross, but can we talk about how amazing my mullet is and how Rob’s in a grandpa suit coat again and how he’s totally trying to get my attention but I’m faking not being totally into him?
Taylor: I know, he’s totally making a face at you right now, don’t look! But why hasn’t he acknowledged the tailoring on this suit, I mean it’s TAILORED for Taylor… get it???
KStew: What? Sorry was trying act aloof for the cameras again and totally zoned you out. Acting like I’m not with Rob and totally pissed at everyone is such a buzzkill
Rob: *thinking* I make the best funny faces!! This one’s gonna kill them, I practiced it in the bathroom mirror
KStew: Oh Em Gee you guys I’m so pumped to be at an MTV event talking to Twilight fans in my sparkly sparkly dress, with impeccable makeup and styled hair. This is SOOO me!
Taylor: *through clenched teeth* you’re laying it on a little thick, dontcha think?
KStew: So like I said whether you’re Team Jailbait or secretly dating the dude on my left, New Moon is totes about ME! You’re gonna love it! I scream, I ride motorcycles, I wear hoodies, I smile 3 times! There’s something for everyone!
Taylor: *through clenched teeth* don’t forget my pecs! I gained 30 el bee’s for this!
KStew: So enjoy this exclusive trailer for The Twilight Saga: New Moon Bella RULES!
Rob: *thinking and squinting* wow, I must have had way more to drink than I thought cause whatever she’s saying is totally not on the teleprompter. Crap, am I supposed to make something up too?
You see why I’m kinda forgetting about you?! All this other craziness was going on… so don’t make this a habit! Steal some of KStew’s lines next time, even if you slur them all! Unintelligible Rob is better than forgettable Rob! Truth.
Unforgettable… in every way!
So was I the only one who glossed over Rob? Was it just the excitement of the trailer and how awesome Taylor looked and how excited it was that Kristen glammed up a touch? Do share!