I recently gathered together a group of single ladies to talk about all things Twilight in a little series I’m calling “Living Single in a Twilight Kind of World” and of course any conversation involving Twilight naturally devolves into a conversation about YOU! And what would single ladies talk about other than who you may or may not be banging! Of course in particular we discussed Kristen and whether you were in fact together or not, if we really cared and why. I think you’ll find it interesting that a portion of us didn’t really care who you were with as long as the fantasy wasn’t ruined and still others thought if you did end up with KStew that might really change how they think of you. Interesting, no?
So I know you would have much rather been here in person for the single ladies chat but you were busy so I interviewed them alone… next time you can be the one asking the questions and we’ll try to put two sentences together and come up with an answer for you. “Yes, no, to get to the other side, 1.772…”
Yea yea we don’t want to know the square root of pi…
Some single ladies discuss Robsten, Nonsten and I could care lesssten…
Moon: what do we think about the brouhaha that is ROBSTEN??
freya: BAH! FUCKERY. NONSTEN.
janetrigs: Fuckery and Nonstein
Brooke: i’m don’t give a flying fucksten
freya: I refuse to even look at your picture, Moon.
Marta: Hahahaha, NONSTEN
Marta: i think they’re cute, but i’m not obsessive about if they’re together
Calli: we all know i love the Robsten
Follow the cut to listen to more single lady goodness
Everyone just wants to get BONGED
Moon:Now it seems to me there is a larger group of Robsten-ers who happen to be married why do you think marrieds (not you calli) want to believe in Robsten so much?
freya: They want Rob and Kristen to be Edward and Bella.
janetrigs: Exactly, making the story come to life
Brooke: i just don’t understand why people have to declare themselves one way or another
Brooke: sorry nonstens, he boned her hard (ps, why do i keep staying boned?)
freya: The idea IS romantic. But to force it is not right. And not respectful of either of them.
janetrigs: Fuck, I don’t care itf he’s gay as gay can be, he’ hot, and don’t care if he’s banged KStew, but I would still blow him behind the dumpster
Calli: but i only love Robsten bc i think they actually have something going on. if i didn’t really think they had something going on… i wouldn’t care.
freya: Brooke wants to get BONED.
Brooke: i do hard. Multiple time
Brooke: from behind
Moon: but bonging and being together are two different things
Moon: I mean BONING not BONGING!
freya: Maybe Brooke wants to get Bonged, too, I don’t know.
Marta: that should be our new word for it. it’s covert
Brooke: i do want to get bonged
Moon: bong me please rob
Moon: So Nonstens, why not kristen then? If not her than who instead?
freya: Me, instead, of course.
Moon: BESIDES US
freya: Whatever. Take the fun out of it, Moon.
janetrigs: Brookie I think they Bonged to, but who cares? I don’t want the story to be true, cause it ruins my sexual fantasies
Moon: TRUTH JANET. I think thats a lot of it for most people. Nonstens i mean
Brooke: smoke a little doobie with robbie and then bone
janetrigs: Again, don’t care who it is, I just want to bong him myself
Don’t mess with my fantasy. Stay in your room and read books. No BONGING!
freya: If not with us then no one. I want to believe that he’s reading esoteric, poncy books, waiting for the right woman to come along, saving up his sperm for the magic moment.
janetrigs: He’s MINE
Moon: yea sometimes I like to think no one too but is that plausible? On the other hand really WHO is he meeting that we dont know about, ya know? If he pees it’s on Twitter in 2 seconds
freya: Honestly, I don’t care who he’s bonging, as long as it’s discreet and the fantasy stays intact.
Moon: ok so he’s a nun if he’s not with us, is that what I’m hearing?
Janet has a one track mind
janetrigs: Okay, or I want to get him drunk and “Smoke ciggs with him behind the dumpster”
Moon: HAHAHAHA I’ll smoke his cigg
Calli: i love rob
Brooke: LMAO calli
Moon: from the SINGLE standpoint do you think they can really be “just friends.” Cause I’ve said it up and down that they could be just friends, cause i have those relationships…
janetrigs: Moon, they could be friends with benefits, or he’s bonging Kellan cause who wouldn’t want to?
Calli: is it weird that i sorta want to be friends with him too?
Hooking up? You come here often?
Brooke: okay, lets talk about the fact that he’s fucking someone
Marta: they definitely hooked up in some way
freya: I think they’ve hooked up. LTR has convinced me.
Moon: HAHAHAHA, using our power for evil apparently!
Brooke: there’s no way that boy is not getting ass almost every other day
Moon: damn how do i get in on that?!
freya: Wait in line…
Marta: not sure about that
Calli: i really don’t think he gets ass every day
Moon: i dont think so either Calli
Brooke: i said every other day!
Calli: i just can’t picture him making the moves
Marta: me neither
Moon: i really think he might be very isolated. Which also makes me sad
freya: I honestly think he’s like a scared little hermit crab. All the crazies have kept him from getting ass.
Marta: especially when he’s filming. Unless a friends visiting. Or filming the Twi
Brooke: he doesn’t make the moves. The girls make the moves on him
Calli right and i don’t think he likes it
janetrigs: Nooo, he mos def has no game unless he’s drunk, hence why DRUNK ROB is the best rob
Marta: give us a pic Janet! hahaha go to your archive!
Moon: how about this pic? (to the left)
Brooke: that picture just killed me… brb searching for batteries
freya: DAMN–that picture! I just had to put on some Kings of Leon to get me in to the correct mindset.
Marta: that would make me think less of him. i have to say
Calli: i don’t think he wanders out of his social circles much
Marta: i want to believe he’s not like that, but with all the stuff around him, prolly not
janetrigs: I don’t think he’s ever been a game player unless the chick flirts with him first, he doesn’t have that confidence
Calli: and i don’t think he’s got much of a circle in NYC
Brooke: no, i don’t either, but I’m sure we don’t see everything
Calli: i’d believe that he was doing lines of coke everynight before i believed he was manwhoring every night
janetrigs: I think that he now probably has peeps that go get his bitches for him though
Moon: The bodyguard sends some over
janetrigs: He just sits back and waits
Calli: i think he sits in corners and counts the number of matches in a box
janetrigs: Or tiles in the ceilings. Or # of shots to give him to get him to be drunk rob
calli: then when he’s done that he makes itty bitty lists of what books he wants to read
Brooke: I’m back, rob works his magic quickly…actually with reading LTR everyday, I’m pretty much on the verge at any given moment.
So friends, enjoy your Tuesdays and let us know what you think, married, single, in a relationship SPEAK OUT!
Play us out…
Special Thanks to this weeks single ladies: Marta, Janet, Calli, Brooke, Chelsea and Freya!