Dear Mini Edward-
When you heard Moon’s cousin Lilcrazycow was headed back to the homeland you couldn’t stand by and let her go alone, you needed to see the land that birthed two wild, whacky and partially insane cousins. Who else would carry matching Lil Edward cases in their handbags and take incriminating and embarrassing photos of you at any chance? There must be something in the water in Oklahoma that our moms drank back in the day.
So you jumped in your car and chased after Lilcrazycow…
Uhhh oops… apparently the red dirt had your sharp senses a little off or those Oklahoma police officers are HUGE fans because you totally got pulled over and read your rights… you have the right to remain devastatingly handsome… anyone you kill and drink their blood can and will be used against you in a court of the Volturi!
Luckily this particular chief of police happened to be in the Moon family and let you off with a warning. THIS TIME. But next time you won’t be so lucky you”’ be forced to listen to karaoke and impromptu stand up comedy at the next Moon family reunion (coming this Thanksgiving!) as part of your sentence. Be scared!
Put your hands up so I can frisk you!
Location: somewhere around Seiling, Oklahoma