Take One – Themoonisdown
Dear Girl next to Rob,
You’re right. No one’s EVER going to believe you when you tell them you met Rob. Or that he smells like rainbows, jelly beans and the bookbindings of your worn out Babysitters Club books. They’re also not going to believe that his eyes are like depthless oceans of emeralds. Or that his voice sounded like Jesus himself and all the angels in heaven singing when he told you “Um, excuse me, I need to get by, there’s some dumb biotches telling me to come listen to theirs friends terrible band.” And finally they’re definitely not going to believe that when he stepped on your foot while walking past you that it felt like kittens and puppies licking your toes.
Seriously they’re not going to believe a word of it. Good thing you have this picture.
PS if this was me in this picture, I would get it blown up poster sized and hang it over my fireplace because this is seriously the best picture ever.
Take Two – Unintended Choice
I know what’s going on here:
Girl crazed over you: “Oh my, Mr. Pattinson. You look dashing tonight.”
You: “What the? Is that?… It is! Nikki Reed just pulled off Kristen’s glasses and let down her hair! And.. oh, my! They’re…they’re KISSING! Here, girl, hold my heine, I’ll be right back.
(mumbling to himself, shaking head)
Why didn’t I think of this last year? A threesome would have caused so much less drama. Plus, doing both of them at once will give me free time to iron my one shirt, microwave Little Debbies and work on my new songs, all in the same night!! (Although if I’ve figured out how to please them both, and keep us all happy… where will the angst come from for my songs?)
I’ll tell you what. Add me into your love-mix, and I can promise the angst will be free-flowing.