Dear UC & Moon,
This is me Robert Pattinson. You are my favorite fansite ever, and I don’t think it’s creepy at all that you write letters to me each & every day. I appreciate the lust that you and everyone on your site has for me and my body. Therefore, all your readers (and all their family members) should vote for you here: Dazzle Awards- Best Rob Fansite
Tell everyone to scroll down to “Best Rob Fan Site” and vote for you and only you. Let them know that if they vote for anyone else other than you, I will become SadRob and I know how SadRob breaks their heart(s). I’ve been pretty happy up here, hiding in a hole in Vancouver, so it would be pretty difficult to bring out SadRob, but I’d do it if your readers didn’t heed my words. Please don’t make me become SadRob. Pretty Please?
I also contacted my other girlfriend, Lauren, at Lauren’s Bite cuz she’s hot, and she’s been nominated for Top Female Blogger which, duh, she’ll win. But if your readers help her win, I promise to become HappyRob and sing everyone songs in French. If they are especially wonderful I may even give them the french style of kiss.
Did I delight you this Saturday am like I do each and every Saturday? Make sure you check out what James Brown and I have for you this Saturday.
Your #1 fan
Robert Thomas Pattinson
Just so we don’t get e-mails like Lauren at Lauren’s Bite does, no, this letter is not actually from Robert Thomas Pattinson. It’s from Taylor Lautner. He roleplays that he’s Rob…