Posted by: Bekah | January 24, 2009

Robert Pattinson vs. Taylor Lautner

Have you ever checked out our comments? You should cuz they’re HILARIOUS. All of you have theMoonisDown and I cracking up so hard all day long that I think we’re both gonna get fired for our lack of work getting done. Anyway, this conversation was going on in the comments section our most recent letter to Rob about his (possible) need to bulk up if he wants to compete with Taylor, and we just had to share it with you. DISCLAIMER: We are Team Rob through and through.

Dear Rob,
Can you share the following message with your fan-base? Thanks xo

Anyone seriously considering swapping to the dark side (Aka Team Taylor) need only compare the following:

shaking-legs-look aaaaaVS.aaaaa taylor_lautner_adam_brody


Rob’s Day

-Up at crack of noon
-Diet coke and bagel
-Write music / smoke
-Listen to music / smoke
-Watch movie whilst smoking
-Read book / smoke
-Measure hair to report to studio
-Brush teeth*
-Go to pub



Rob’s meal
-5 cheeseburgers
-2 cokes
-6 pack



Rob’s extras
-1 pack cigarettes

Taylor’s Day

-Up at 6am
-Protein breakfast
-Run / interval training
-Second breakfast
-Shower / measure chest to report to studio
-Workout with trainer
-Tanning session
-Afternoon workout with trainer
-Play with PSP whilst whitening teeth
-Carb loading meal
-Attend opening of envelope
-Bed by 9pmaa

Taylor’s meal
-3 eggs
-2 cups of soy milk
-5 steroid pills
-3 servings of pasta
-Rocky Balboa’s Special Milkshake Limited Edition
-Fruit salad with extra banana.

Taylor’s extras

– Slim Girl 50% less calories Diet Jello

Thanks to NatalieCastle, theCaptain & Sass for this hilarious comparison!


  1. No competition! Besides, I like cheeseburgers and sodas (soy… bleh!), and can totally kill a six pack with the best of them.

  2. Okay I just found this link, Robert Pattinson unknown at the time eating a hamburger none-the-less at a hamburger joint in a news cast?

    look 0:09 seconds in….

  3. Is the bed optional, or just the sleep part?

  4. Okay I just found this link, Robert Pattinson unknown at the time? eating a hamburger none-the-less at a hamburger joint in a news cast?

    4 some reason my stuff won’t post?

    • @Angela- it was throwing your comments in our spam filter- not sure why. it might be from the links? I think it should be fine now b/c once we approve one it should auto-approve the rest- WEIRD!

  5. Under Rob – Avoidance of all water/soap based products on skin and hair.

    Love your blog…it brings me a much needed chuckle every day.

    • @Sophie (bellasmama) welcome!!! and good addition to the rob list!

  6. Yeah but which one will be more fun to hang out with, with that schedule? I think that comparison makes the decision clear.

  7. This is hilarious! Well, I think I know who I am better suited for — since I am still in my PJs at 2 p.m.

    • @Laura – i got you beat. it’s 4:30 and i’m in my robe, showered, by my hair is plastered to my head and i think i have to shower again!

    • haha wel me too laura!! And i just love cheeseburgers! Taylor is no competition for our rob!!

  8. Atta girl Laura!

    And I hope those PJs are cheap and unmatched!

  9. You lost me at 6am.

  10. @ Sass — LOL! Even better, old sweats and a random t-shirt. Rob and I are a mismatch made in heaven, right?

  11. uh NO WORDS!! hats off to the captain/natalie/sass for creating this master piece. amazing

    the measure chest/measure hair report to studio was GENIUS!!

    • hair/chest measure is my favorite part! hilarious :0)

      LOVE, love, LOVE this photo…

      these archives are great!

  12. Okay I just found this link, Robert Pattinson unknown at the time eating a hamburger none-the-less at a hamburger joint in a news cast?

  13. Bravo ladies, Bravo!!!

  14. @ Laura – Did you get them at a thrift store?!? Then they would truly be perfect!

    @ Spank – The bed is always optional! There is always the couch, the floor, the kitchen table… 😉

  15. Thanks for the kudos UC and moon, but Natalie and the captain made up the menu and schedule…I merely suggested the Cinnamon Toast Crunch, hee!

    • @Sass… whoops- i knew you had that cinnamon toast crunch suggestion- i thought i put it in there.. i dunno what happened!

  16. Aha.
    I think Rob would be more fun, he is not working out 24/7. 😛
    I loved the “Attend opening of envelope.”
    AHAHA. Rob gets up about when I do! 😀

  17. I think in Rob’s daily list there should be a line that says this:

    Eeny, meenie, miney moe – to pick which chic wins the lotto of spending the evening back at his hotel!!!

  18. Hahahahaha this is hilarious!

    @Spank Ransom – The bed will never be optional again once he meets US!!!

  19. That list is great. I too would sleep til 2 pm if possible. But I have kids to get ready for school.

  20. @NatalieCastle & theCaptain
    I’m LOVING this list! It’s bloody Brilliant!
    Thx for another good laugh!
    – playing guitar and ‘crooning’ could be another addition to Rob’s day
    – 1000 ab crunches could be added to Taylor’s list

  21. *flattered*

  22. oh geez, thank you so much, girls!
    i have been having the worst day/week of my life, and you always know how to crack me up! this was amazing!!!
    and i definitely know im suited for Rob. Sleeping is my specialty, and so is eating junk food! 🙂
    Thanks so much for being able to put a smile on my face! 🙂

  23. @sam you’re back. Sorry about your week. For a second I thought you had taken me up on the assignment to procure a strand of Rob’s dirty, dirty hair! Hope all is better today. In case it’s not…take a peek at this:

    Don’t forget to breathe!

    • @vickyb i made an orgasmic sound when i opened that link. i’m not kidding. i’m gonna do it again- ready, set..pushing link…. um, see ya’ll in a bit..

  24. @ Angela – That may be Rob at the BK…if not, then a guy that looks an awful lot like him.

    If that is his style of eating out, then I’m thinking we should go out and I’d even be willing to pay. You hear that Rob, free meal right here!! Well, almost free…afterwards, there’s just the one thing I want to try…

  25. i love taylor so taylor all the way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    smokings disgusting and im a vegitarian

  26. @the captain – idem

    @Amber – hahahahahahahaha

    Hey, everyone, look at this pic:

    our rob was sooooooo adorable!!!! *.*

  27. @vickyb… yeah im back! ha. its so hard for me to even catch up with all the comments and respond… that i just made a general one.. lol. ive missed you guys! ive been busy over the past couple of days,and it hasnt been fun, so im always happy when i can come on here and laugh!:)
    and yes, thank you, breathing is good.. im just taking one day at a time! love you guys!!

    and btw… that picture was amazing, vicky!! 🙂

  28. @vickyb – le SWOOOON that picture is soooo splendiferous.

    @natalie – WOAH. that was a tad disturbing. totally like he says he used to look super androgynous but now he looks like a ‘man.’ THANK GOD.

  29. I was just thinking the same thing…what a difference a few years and some chest hair make!

  30. @moon you say splendiferous, I say spanktacular 😉
    BTW crossing my fingers that Rob will show up at the San Jose Film Festival for How to BE *crosses fingers and toes* next month!

  31. rob only brushes his teeth before going to the pub as apposed 2 in the morning because he refuses 2 smell like he’s been working on a train all day while getting drunk. (for all u non-witty people, smoking)

    • Non-witty people? I’ll have you know this place reeks of wit! 😉

  32. @vicky…I take it you will be there? Well if he is, you know you have to bring us some good crack!

  33. @Natalie – That pic is a little scary. Burgers and beer have done a body good over the past few years…

  34. And can I just add that the picture of Rob at the top of this post? Drop.Dead.Delicious. (since we have a food theme going on!)

  35. @Sass Yes I am. Just got the okay from the hubby. Weird, I asked him to go with and he said no…too bad! 🙂 And I will bring you back Rob if I can, or what’s left of him I mean 😉

    @Natalie I saw that pic, drooled a little, then came to my senses b/c I realized he is like 16 in that pic. In the famous words of one of our Twi-Sisters, If I was 16 “I’d tap that!”

  36. @vickyb – I’m hoping you went over the “freebie list” with the hubby again, just in case… 🙂

  37. @Amber…thanks for the reminder. Hmmmmm

  38. LMAO @ “Rocky Balboa’s Special Milkshake”!!!

  39. Bit o’ genius, that. Well done, people.

    And lost me at 6am, indeed! I definitely prefer to get up bright-and-not-so-early.

  40. @ Amber My first official business for Obama is that he make
    “The Freebie List” an official and binding contract. I live in Cali girls, I can’t afford to give my husband half my shit!

  41. @vickyb – Can we make that happen? Yes We Can!

  42. i just came across this rather interesting pic…

    i don’t know how to do a link thingy, so just copy and paste

  43. oh whadda you know, it makes a link automatically!

    enjoy ladies

  44. @Verbena Oh yes, the infamous Interview interview. It is one of the first of many pics that got my pulse racing. Thanks for the reminder! 🙂

  45. @ UC.. thank you for using my favorite, make your legs shake” picture of Rob! It is comical to have the pictures said by side.. not that Taylor isn’t darling.. but one is a man, and one is a boy. No contest.

    Yesterday I was at a high school basketball game, watching my daughter play. There was a lady about 1/2 way through Twilight, completely engrossed, not watching the game at all. I was dying to know if she was a newbie to the series, or completely addicted, on her 4th read like me.
    At the 1/2, I walked over and asked her what part she was at, and she started laughing. She said, well, this is actually my 4th time. This series is like CRACK!
    Nice to know I’m not the only one 🙂

  46. @Verbena – LOVE that picture. It is one of my faves!!

    @vickyb – As long my hubby takes the crappy half, I’m fine!

  47. Best comparison ever! Oh man…I am so Team Rob. Loooove him 🙂

  48. Taylor would be our type cuz we aren’t with people that smoke or drink or we are thinkin right about drinking cuz iy said 6 pack so we assume he drinks. Taylor is also way hotter 2 & if they are still thinking about fireing Tay then they need 2 go 2 gedt a check up Kaylin says i also agree with her OMG who would EVER EVER think about fireing him come on my freakin gosh ever-1 in my class agrees i mean EVERY-1 agrees who wouldn’t i will never ever ever watch or talk abouy Twilight again if they do fire him i’ll make sure no-1 i mean no-1 watches Twilight again i mean NO-1 so who ever is talking about fireing himneeds 2 shut up & by the way i no who is talking about fireing him /CHRIS WEITZ/ u need 2 shut up cuz we bet Tay is so depressed come on y woul;dn’t he be up-set so do NOT i mean NOT 2 fire him DO NOT PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE we r asking PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE k thank u that should be enough 2 get my point acrossed don’t u think so!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • @Kaylie & Kaylin WELCOME xoxo

    • You may not be with people who like to get drunk but you sure do like to type like one. I couldn’t understand 1/2 the craziness you were talking about. And since I’m from the future, don’t worry, they didn’t fire him.

  49. […] Taylor, I know you lead a busy life: working out, school, working out, eating egg whites, running, being the real life version of […]

  50. lmao i love this comparison XD

    “Slim Girl 50% less calories Diet Jello” <- hilarious!

    awwww i could always do with a lie in, now that’s my kinda guy, team rob ftw!

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