Since we’re rolling down the Rob shame spiral this week with all kinds of non sense concerning you, I thought I’d continue the trend. You’ve pretty much disappeared since arriving in Vancouver and it’s been a bit of a relief. I was talking with Ashley one of my LA twi co-horts in crime the other night, yea she is the gal who was with me when we saw you and La Stew get into the cab last Thursday, and we both talked about being glad you had left LA because we didn’t know if our hearts, wallets and nerves could take any more run-ins or chase-downs with you. And though we never got to “meet” you it still got me wondering what if I met you one day and it you did/said/had something that was a total buzzkill. What if you were one of my deal breakers? Some friends and I call things that would make us break up with someone/not date them called “Deal Breakers.” So I hit the Twitters and compiled some of the very best deal breakers out there…
- Moon: 1. Puka Shell Necklaces 2. listens to crappy music like Creed or Nickelback 3. Wears Ed Hardy
- UC: a real guido in real life. wife beaters with chest hair sticking out and a gold chain
- Pange: Gold bracelets on men
- VickyB: Crocs
- Pinkfluffgirl: sandals with socks. Crew socks with running shoes and shorts. Short Sleeve Dress Shirts
- Freya: Tight-ass Wranglers. I don’t need a topographical map to your junk. If I’m interested, I’ll find it.
Follow the cut for more Deal Breakers! And we find out what Jorts are!
- TwilogWhitley: bad breath
- Veddersgirl: Whitesneakers and bad teeth
- Alison4828: Any guy who plays air guitar so thoroughly they get down on their knees on the dancefloor…true story..broke up with him
- TeabagmeRPattz: Guys who wear CAPRI PANTS!
- Lovebeingme76: Fan of the WWE
- TX_LiLi: Jorts, thumb rings, socks with sandals, man makeup.
- Calli: dudes who don’t know how to open a wine bottle… seriously? if you can’t get me drunk, you can’t get me at all.
- Jellybeanrainbow: Tony-Soprano-style jewelery, glittery hair gel, white dress shoes+ white pants
- BrookeLockart: Missing teeth. A strong accent of any sort that isn’t foreign, sorry Joey Bagofdonuts from south philly, “yo” yourself back on home
- SNS825: his Twilight tattoo can’t be larger than mine
- TewTiffany: jeans that are so tight that I can count the change in their pockets, telling me that they used to think they were gay
When I opened the discussion up to Deal Breakers Specific to YOU (besides the above) Rob, here’s what I got…
- Fakerpattypattz: If Rob ever owned a cat or a St. Bernard
- (Rob- make sure underage Taylor isn’t around for this next one) Itshowtime: If Rob had a Snail or Dragon Penis (SERIOUS SO NSFW!! Prepare for nightmares! No kids! Danger ahead! Don’t click if you have a fear of snail & dragon male genitalia)
- Tedracat: Rob dealbreaker? Hmm. He would have to call me ugly and stupid. Or invite Kristen to join in
But the consensus seemed to be summed up best by PinkFluffgirl when she said…
- Pinkgluffgirl: his ass could be in jorts, wearing crocs, with guido rings, a short sleeved white dress shirt and I’d STILL do him
Isn’t it good to know that even with all these deep seeded deal breakers us gals have, you could show up looking like the crazy ran over you, grow out your chest hair, invest in a couple gold chains, let your teeth go and YOU COULD STILL GET LAID?! So my advice or more my plea to you is when you get tired of doing the Stew and you feel like going out in Vancouver in front of the paps PLEASE PLEASE wear some “Jorts,” a puka shell necklace and a NASCAR Tshirt. You would MAKE my day!
Love me, Love my jorts!
PS What’s YOUR Deal Break?
You wanna hear UC and me break down the new Tay/Kris videos from EW? Of course you do! Head over to Letters to Twilight!
Go chat more in the forum about Jorts, Guido Rings and oh how about Rob?!
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