This is a difficult letter to write because I’m discussing one of your flaws (yes, this will hurt similarly to when I made fun of your fugly shoes). I don’t quite have the best words to articulate what I’m feeling, so I’m going to let my friend say what I cannot. She sent 3 of us this e-mail after seeing this picture for the first time:
“He is an adorable dork. That face…oh, dear. And girls…he so cannot dance. I mean, not even if we were standing naked in front of him and said, “Dude–all 4 of us at ONE TIME–if you can break it down” we wouldn’t even be able to get an Electric Slide out of his self.”
Ever since the HQ version of this pic was posted, cries could be heard all over the world with phrases like,”he CANNOT get his groove on.” and “dude cannot dance.” and “WORST dancer ever!” and “This is his one tragic flaw”
Robbie? What happened? You’re British! Isn’t dancing like a requirement in order to graduate high school? I thought it ranked right up there after “how many spoons of sugar would the Queen take if she dropped by your home for some tea?” You’re high class! You did MUSICALS. How did this tragedy happen? (And are you wearing a PIECE on your head! Dear Lord!!?)
Yesterday wasn’t all tragedy. Moon & I, of course, broke it down Vanity Fair style with two of our fav gals:
Friend #1: Rob is redeemed–look how high off the ground he’s jumping.
Friend #2: Umm…can you imagine Rob as they were instructing him what to do?
UC: he probably listened intently, just in case the Queen showed up
Friend #2: He is probably smoking in that picture where his face is obstructed.
Friend #1: he was shiizzzzzing himself.
Friend #2: That’s why they picked that pic. They couldn’t let the ciggy show.
Friend #1: have you seen the harry potter special features where he talks about having to dance at the ball? he HATES dancing. but dude did this…he knew he better.
UC: dude would LOVE grinding up on me
Friend #2: what about the mattress mambo? that’s sort of a dance
She’s right! The mattress mambo IS a ‘sort-of’ dance. And I bet you’re the Mambo-King!