Hi Yes, I just used a smiley face. Sorry, I just get all gooey inside when I say your name..
Anyway, I’m actually writing to criticize you. Or your stylist. But.. I’m sorry.. I actually think this might be your fault because I can’t imagine there’s a stylist in the world that would allow you to wear the SHOES you do.
Take for example, your photos from today in Paris:
You look hot, as always. And look at cute little Kristen in her adorable little heels. And Catherine is rockin’ the hell out of those boots. But is there a war in Paris that I’m unaware of that you’re planning on fighting in after your photoshoot?
Also, I get the “I just got up and I’m so sexy and don’t give a shit” look, but sometimes when you give a shit about tying your shoes, you don’t fall on your face (just a nice little FYI from a girl who falls on her face all the time)
Now, I know what you’re thinking. “How can you hate on my Nike’s?” I know, I know.. Their a classic shoe- an American shoe (are they really? Or did I just make that up..?) But here are my reasons why these shoes are a no-no:
1) You’re British, so stop trying to make this classic American shoe work . It doesn’t work on Americans either
2) They’re black sneakers- ew
3) They just don’t fit with your utter-beautifulness
4) They make you look like my 15 year old sister’s boyf. They are totally shoes for people born after 1990.
I have other examples, but this is already a hard enough post, critcizing you, so I’ll stop.
But I know what you’re gonna ask me. “What DO I wear?”
Try this for starters:
Yeah, yeah, I know. Not practical shoes for an every-day photo opp, but yummy pic, so I had to throw it in!
I’m not gonna lie. I’m a fan of the chucks. Always have been, always will be. In fact, a pair in light grey, just like the ones you wear here, are on my xmas list. What a coincidence. Maybe we could wear them together? And hold hands while doing so… just like twins… or lovers.. or whatever.. You could put your head on MY belly..?
Just promise me you’ll stop it with the combats and black sneaks. I can’t handle criticizing you. It hurts me just as much as it hurts you. I’ll stop if you stop…