Posted by: themoonisdown | April 15, 2009

My first date with Robert Pattinson

Dear Rob-

I was reading through the comments from yesterday’s post and was astonished that so many people thought they had 0 chance of ever meeting you/shagging you but, I am quite delusional the opposite because not only do I think I WILL meet you, and you WILL fall madly and stupidly in love with me, I actually already have our first date all planned out in my head! See, I plan ahead! This is one of the things you will grow to love about me. I know. So thanks girls who are giving up, more Rob for me!

You see after I saw this little video I knew we were meant to be… so when you’ve got a free night here’s the plan…

8:00 you pick me up at my place and I fear for my life as you drive to the restaurant. You dodge 3 cats and an old lady. I pray to god we make it… “I’d never given much thought to how I would die… but dying in the place of someone you love seems like a good way to go”

8:17 we make it. barely. the near death experience has given us the shakes so we immediately order some booze to make all those bad memories disappear

8:32 two bottles of wine later we drunkenly gaze at each other as we FEEL that “special spark” between us ignite. We shoo the waitress away who keeps asking us to order

8:32.5 we call waitress back over to order another bottle of wine

8:47 we realize this “special spark” just can’t be contained anymore and we lunge for each other and then realize PDA might not be appropriate in this venue at the owner tells us to “get the H-word out you sicko’s! There are kids around!”

8:48 we stumble to the car laughing and procede to SPECIAL HUG in the backseat like a couple 16 yr olds at lovers lane on prom night

8:52 (let’s keep it real here girls, 4 minutes is probably generous) spent, drunk and hungry we roll over to In-n-Out

9:01 Order cheeseburgAHs and eat them in the dark of the parking lot before we special hug again

See ya at 8!


  1. Love it Moon.

    Especially 8:52 comments. 4 minutes! Ha ha ha, too true!

    • watz up to al! Hahaha love how u planed ur date! 4 min?! Not enough :(!!! And i to hope that i can meet gorgues rob!:) hugs and kisses

      • ur right 4 min NOT enough.. but sadly realistic…

  2. Haha Moon! 3 bottles of wine πŸ™‚ Can I just say that you guys have the best tags ever? After reading each hilarious post I get another laugh just from reading the tags underneath.

    • you’re the first to ever comment on our tags… we do love them! and sometimes we feel like we’re possibly running an X rated site b/c of them…. πŸ™‚

    • i know i mean who isnt looking up the tag “special hug?”

  3. See, that is eerily similar to MY date with Rob I had last night… hm. You creepin’ on us again Moon??

    “We only got 4 minutes to save the worlddddd… no hesitating. Grab a boy; grab a girllll.”

    • AWESOME I love that song!!! 4 minutes is more than enough time…. πŸ™‚

  4. Love it.

    Although I’d be okay with skipping the restaurant altogether and drinking the 3 bottles of wine in the backseat. More alone time you know.

  5. p.s. good morning, ladies! not sure if these were posted last night but very sweet outtakes from cosmogirl of the 3 guys, rob looks delicious:

    more on pages 3 and 4 here

    • I love the first one where he’s pinching their cheeks, LOL! Cute!

    • ahh i wasnt prepared for that white tee

  6. Special Hug – lmao I love it!

  7. love this date… altho if he’s not with me he’s poundin’ spam, even though it’s you, just sayin’

    • Ooooo, SNAP!


  8. I’m sooooo going to get in trouble at work.

    The pics with the undone tie and untucked shirt, makes me shiver. Yum.

  9. O moon you are sooooo on top of your game!!! πŸ™‚ ‘8:52 (let’s keep it real here girls, 4 minutes is probably generous)’….you really dont need more time…as Smokey once wisely said ‘give me bout 35-45 mins…he’ll be wanting to marry a n’…O you know the rest LOL except you’re so good you only need 4!!! Happy Hump Day!!! πŸ™‚

  10. I’m with you on the optimism thing Mooon, but just reminding you of the pact, it doesn’t matter which LTR lady gets him first, once one of us has him you know you will have to share with the rest of us!

  11. This might be more appropriate for LTT, but I just saw that Cam got a new gig:

    • Oh yay! I feel kind of sorry for Cam that he can’t come back to the installments.
      He’s the only one, that must be a bummer for him.

  12. Oh. My. Gawd. Let me catch my breath for a minute, willya? pantpantpant….Rob…..please…..pantpantpant….my heart…..pantpantpant….. you’re KILLING me….. what a way to go. I can die happy now.

    Whaddaya mean there are two other guys in the picture? I din’t see nobody but Rob Fucking Pattinson!

  13. Good morning!

    Perfect date, Moon! Who needs a slow romantic date with maybe a little kiss in the end when we can have drunkRob doing the special Hug for 4 minutes!!

    That’s what love is all about!

  14. Four minutes is generous, indeed.

    “You’ve only got 4 minutes…to save the world.”

    (Moon, you know I will always find a way to bring it all back to JT. And Madonna…whatever.)

  15. Nice Moon, nice. I love the detail of the timeline. 8:32.5 LMAO!

    • yup the whole thing takes about a hr… we’re time efficient and i’ve got shizz to do. and by DO i mean BANG. πŸ˜‰

  16. 4 minutes in HEAVEN is better than 3 minutes in HEAVEN .. that’s what I always say lol

    • love flight of the conchordes!!! LOL

  17. Pretty sure any of us would take that date any day…and have probably all imagined some similar antics. Moon you crack me up!!!

    • sign me up sister!

  18. LMAO! Especially the quote placement in “8:00”. I love special hugs, LOL!

    • im glad you caught it jena!! i was like i wonder who’s gonna get that…

  19. What all did I miss last night? I wasn’t here after 5pm.

    • Hey Jena!

      Not much, well, SpunkMe is trying to get us all into her side of the R/K fence, but other than that, not much LOL

      How are you this morning?

      • I’m good, Dany! Tired, didn’t want to get out of bed, but good.
        How are you?

        • Good, but I had the same problem, I hate getting out of bed! And yet at nights it’s so hard for me to turn off the computer and go to sleep. The ironies of life, huh?

          Well, I’m off to study now, talk to you in the afternoon!

          • omg this is my life exactly! late to bed, late out of bed

  20. Morning Girls πŸ™‚

    @moon – I am pretty sure that 4 minutes was generous enough. I do have to add though…after your second special hug, I pull up and he gets in the car with me. Just sayin’. πŸ™‚ I really wouldn’t mind sloppy seconds with him. Not at all. LOL!

    Off to the gym, back in a bit girlies! *smooches*

  21. I got a hardy laugh out of the “4 minutes is probably generous” comment, too. The thing for me is, if I had downed a bottle and a half of wine and then special hugged anyone (even *sigh* super sex-is-on-fire Rob) I would probably have to take a post-coital snooze because my body would feel like a warm rubberband and my head a big pile of mush. The cheeseburgAH would have come closer to 9:23.

  22. Wait was that 3 minutes and 4 bottles of wine OR 4 minutes and 3 bottles of wine…

    I was never very good at math lol but I do know square root of pie 1.77245

    • LMAO!

    • It doesn’t matter , just the bangin ‘ matters LMAO!

      • Rpats spam banger upper extraordinaire lol

  23. So moon,is he like,gonna see the top of your head at that in n out or what ? Deets, girl, deets LMAO! and I too, love your tags here.I press the iPhone the wrong way and it sends me to good places! Weeeee!!!! Good morning my lurvely LTR ladies!

    • Good morning! To Dany, Jena, Kristin, and brummielover too! And everyone! Make sure you see the pictures I posted above πŸ™‚ So cute, Rob looks just… GAH.

      • Hey limeslice! I saw them! Lovely. It’s like you could order them by catalogue LOL!!

        “Hello, I’d like to order the one in the middle…how much is it?….oh, sure, I’ll pay with my Visa. Thanks!”

        • hahahaha love it.

      • I saw…I am DIED!

  24. Ive thought of so many scenarios for my first date with Rob. I guess realistically it would probably be more like drinking some beers at my place, eatin some hot pockets, seeing if he would teach me a thing or two on the guitar and then not being able to control the sexual tension anymore, we would have a wild night with his Robnana.

    but your date sounds just lovely too Moon. Ill take whatever I can get =)

    hope all you ladies are having a good morning

    • OMG … gotta love the term “Robnana”. kudos! and I’m soooo stealing that!

  25. Morning!

    Nice Moon, 4 minutes and 3 bottles. I hope you got your IN-n-Out “Animal Style”.

    Oh, I wonder if the hater will be back today…

    • WE can only hope and pray she comes back. They was awesome. I love the haters. They are so much fun!!

    • we probably scared poor Oh-ehm-gee to death bwahahaha !!

    • ALWAYS animal style my friend… it’s all about the secret menu!

  26. 8:32.5 nearly killed me. That was hysterical.

    And four minutes is generous, lol. Too funny!

    • I love that it only took 15 minutes to drink 2 bottles of wine. Nice.

  27. @moon – you’re welcome. I’m glad that my giving up has given you more hope. And, for the record, I have -175% chance with Rob (Husband = -50%, each kid is -50%, the dog is -25% because she would cause a custody battle).

    @limeslice – why do those CosmoGirls pics make me sing the KOL song over and over “I loosen my tie, I loosen my tie”.

    • I really wanna loosen Rob’s tie.

    • You too? I loosen my tie…I shake it your way

      • Crap now I’m going to be singing that song alllll day long. Need to listen to Beyonce or Brittany to get a new song in my head.

      • you cant get enough… no no you cant get enough!

    • hahaha I absolutely had that same though! Thats probably because anything Rob/KOL control my every thought. Cant wait for the concert!!

      • Even before those pictures, I always had lovely visions of Rob in my head when I heard that song for some reason. Oddly, I don’t think of him during Soft or Cold Desert – only during Be Somebody.

        I’m dying to go to the concert! Lucky! They’re coming here but my ONE KOL friend is going to be out of town. And I’m not self confident enough to go by myself πŸ™‚

        • You should definitely go, regardless of your friend being around! You’ll make new friends at the concert. =)

          I bet KOL are amazing live!

        • Oh man I would totally go by myself. I bought two tickets and I think my hubby will be gone so im searching for a friend to go with. cant friggin wait though.

          I always think of Rob during “I Want You”
          wait a minute… scratch that… I just ALWAYS think of Rob.

    • Haha! That’s normal.

      • YESSSS bringing out a “that’s normal” that’s what i like to see!!

    • I’m going to go b-roke from all the iTunes I keep buying cause of all you girls…yes, I’m lame and have yet to buy KOL. I am buying ….now.

  28. Good Morning Carrie Bearie

    • Morning Robzilla. I got all sucked into reading WA last night and totally bailed on the conversation last night. What was the “wazzup up??” quote from? I know I should know it.

  29. and i cannot type this morning…

  30. Morning Ladies!!

    Great letter Moon.

    That’s all I got. I’m all dazzled by my BF Simba.

    Am listening and watching him on you tube. There are tons of videos from his shows in NYC from the past couple of days.

    • Oh sweet! I’m at work so I can’t watch/listen now, but is the show from last night posted?

      • Yep. Just go the link and then there are bunch more posted by same user. I’m looking for the audio stream from last night but no luck so far. I’ll post if I find it.

        • Thanks so much!

  31. I must have missed something, but someone explain the “BUTTER” to me. I see it all over sometimes and I don’t get it, LOL!

    • I don’t get it either. Must have been a late night convo that we missed!

      • I’m thinking so.

        • I know it’s something to do with Last Tango in Paris. Maybe we should watch it and we’d figure it out.

        • Oh dear. You might rather not know. In the movie, let’s just say it is used as a… lubricant.

          • When um, how did someone put it – when her bum loses it’s v-card?

          • Ew. My b-hole puckers just thinking about that.

        • mmm I don’t know either, I thought it had something to do with Tango In Paris, scene where Brandon takes someone from behind and uses butter as a lub, but now you got me thinking maybe it’s something else…

          • Then I was right! Yay!

            ok, now I’m REALLY going…I’m so late!

          • Now Butter is something I would not want shoved
            into such crevaces! EW! LMAO!

  32. @Carrie – what do you think of Wide Awake? I have one more chapter of Midnight Desire left and I decided I’m going to start Wide Awake next.


    I’m leery of the S&M stories. I know y’all rave about them but I just can’t pull the trigger. I’m just too impressionable to be reading that kind of stuff. I’m afraid they’ll push me over the edge of kinkiness..

    • WA is NOT S&M. It’s actually a great story. I think if she changed the names and cleaned it up a little she could publish.

      • I know Wide Awake is straight lovin’ (which is why it’s next on my list). I was referring to the other ff stories like Dominant or Sub. I’m afraid of those and what they’ll do to my innocence.

        • Hey,let’s pop your FF cherry! Btw,I like saying FF cuz it sounds like eff eff ,which leads me to f**k F**k and then to rob. LOL

  33. @Carrie and WTM – WA is my absolute favorite. It will suck you in bigtime!

    @Carrie – Whazzup! is from the old budweiser commercials I think. you know all the guys just screaming whazzup at each other and nothing else.

    • To be apart of commercial memories–>>> Wuuuuzzzz Upppp!

    • AHHH! Thanks for clearing that up. WA is great so far. I got thur chapter 5. Love me some Darkward.

  34. I just sent a “how about for my bday you take me to a KOL concert” email to hubby complete with tickets link.

    Maybe if I offer a hummer, he’ll oblige my request.

    • Don’t offer the hummer unless he says no first. You must save the big guns for the appropriate time. Never bid high first. LOL!

      • TRR – Chinamother pointed out that a hummer can get you almost anything in your marriage. Am taking notes as I am newly married and need to know these things. Thanks for the advice

        • Always glad to help. The best way to get anything you want is to give the hummer when there is the risk of exposure. Driving down the interstate, for example. Must save the slutty stuff for big request. You get extra points when the truckers going by blow their horns.

          • *writing this down in my notebook*

            save the slutty stuff for big requests, got it. am already planning which slut maneuver will get me plane tickets to the LTR convention


          • wait…what LTR convention??????


  35. on a totally random note. Am totes watching la femme nikita reruns now and I was totes thinking the guy who plays michael, Roy dupuis has the same eff me eyes like rob does * Le sigh*

    • Must see this! I love me some eff me eyes. Not sure if you were in on it but some of us decided that Henry Cavill from Tudors (SMeyers pick for Edward) has the eff me eyes as well. Well maybe not nearly as much as Rob but he’s effable.

      • I’m going to have to rent the Tudors!
        Gads, I do not need ANOTHER celebrity crush, LOL!

    • Sherin- Love me some La Femme Nikita.

      • Carrie watch the blooper reels on YouTube! So effing hilarious!! Michael shoots the bad guys with water guns n operations is wearing vampire teeth !LOL

  36. @Sherin – I’ve kept it pretty tame so far with the FF. I’ve read Isle of Esme, I Love LA, and now on Midnight Desire.

    I’m really really slow to read, however, so it takes me a while to get through them.

    • Take ur time girl! Try reading the office! Woohaaa!hot!*winks*

  37. You’re not the only delusional one. Rob and I will meet…”someday somewhere.” There will be lots of “special sparks, hugs and bumps.”
    Thanks for keeping hope alive!

    • keepin the dream alive one blog post at a time!

  38. @Carrie

    Read back chappies of the Office last night. The Beautiful Bastard gets me every time…

    • Damn that Beautiful Bastard. Need new chapter STAT. I think the next chapter is going be so good I can’t wait.

      • Agreed! I have chillz

  39. pictures of a lot of the cast at 100 monkeys concert last night:

    (no rob :()

    • ashley looks amazing. i have such a girl crush on her

      • I agree she looks gorgeous – wish I could pull off red lipstick like that!

    • Boone from Lost? Yeah! I hope they are dating. I love them both! Ashley looks so pretty.

      • Ditto. I would love that. They would make a great couple. And would also mix my two acute fondnesses, LOST and Twilight. πŸ™‚

        • Now if they had a 2-male threesome with Jack from Lost, I’d die a happy woman.

    • I realize Rob may have had another comittment and
      what’s why he wasn’t there, but it makes me sad to think
      that the possible reason he doesn’t go to these things
      is because of being bombarded by fans. 😦
      Everyone was there but him….sniff.

      • I mean and “that’s” why….I can’t spell.


    Look but don’t touch ladies, that is, until the honeymoon…

    • He has the best smile.

    • Here’s my man. Don’t be hatin b/c he’s so fine and all mine.

      • Oh Carrie, he has the most luxurious mane of hair!

  41. i love the letter. Plain and simple. Most impressive part? Those first 2 bottles in 15 minutes flat. I lit’rally sat here and counted the time difference twice to make sure I was correct! I am seriously in awe at your and Rob’s drinking ability. I’ve never heard of someone drinking that much one in such a short time and I’m Italian and was in a sorority!

    Morning ladies!

    • Good thing Rob’s 22 or he wouldn’t have been able to perform the special hug after that much wine!

    • Calli – Maybe they are reliving the old sorority days of keg stands. I can hear Moon and Rob now chanting “Chug, Chug, Chug!” to each other.

    • Hello nanny Calli.

    • Morning Calli!

      Don’t mean to sound too demanding, but where’s the Twi-theater?
      Ok, I guess I did mean to sound demanding. But now I feel guilty for it.
      Srsly, I need to laugh today, it’s like living in Forks (sans Edward) down here in DC. Yuck.

    • thats how we role here… 2 bottles 15 minutes. it was a scary car ride.

  42. OT – My husband informs me that he must take all the women who work for him out to dinner tonight to celebrate the end of tax season. He is also taking my car so they can all fit and he can drive them home safely when they drink too much.

    Side note-he only wants women to work for him so he can “be the only rooster in the hen house.”

    I’m soooo not jealous of this. Why is he a smidgen jealous of Rob?

    This makes no sense.

    • I hear ya. Such a double standard. My hubby put Jessica Alba with her boobs all pushed up in the air (pre-kid) as the backdrop for our playstation (which my son uses more than he does) and I didn’t say a word. But I put Rob as my computer desktop and he draws a ‘stache and devil horns on him. So not fair.

    • Ummm, He knows that no matter how nice he is, or how many women are in the car with him, he will never be as utterly amazing as HHH. He is jealous that he cannot obtain the same status.

      (Not trying to be mean, just offering a suggestion!)

    • TRR ….excuse me??? yea that is messed up girl!

  43. Mornin’ sunshines:)

    Ok, so I have to finish watching Twilight today…I had to stop last night while Billy Black was driving up and being the complication.

    So, Um, I read all of The Arrangement last night, and that woman hasn’t let out a new chapter in like 2 weeks…but overall I’m sucked in. I read 18 chapters in 5 hours. I love how FF’s make you stay up for no apparent reason.

    • The Arangement is AWESOME!!! I’m totally ready for some more of that story!

  44. @Moon- Thank you so much for making me LOL this morning! Great post!!! xoxo

    @Jena- butter conversation had me *cracking up* again! LOL

    • good morning gen!!!!!! you are very welcome!

  45. Best Letter Ever….

    • wow big words! thanks!

  46. Okay, this may be TMI but I tried something new on hubby last night (y’know, special hug stuff) and he said “oh my god, did you learn that from your books?” (he meant fan fiction – I hope – or he hasn’t been listening when I tell him that Twilight is straight laced and virginal). Ha! I actually learned the move from Glamour magazine. So then he said “PLEASE keep on reading the way you have!”.

    Yeah! I’m all clear to sequester myself in the computer room tonight again!

    • What move was this, I have the last 3 Cosmo’s – need page number etc.

      • Oh, well I guess I have to get Glamour, since I have Cosmo lol.

    • Yay!! very nice ! * is taking this down *

    • Yeah, which issue of Glamour??? I get it, but haven’t read the last 3 months worth. I’m down for trying anything.

      PS – I tried some new things I’ve learned in FF lately on my hub since I’m usually a taker I decided to be a giver…and my hubby was like “keep doing that…I like it”…it made me feel are warm and fuzzy and by warm and fuzzy I mean hot and bothered….hey-ohhhhhhhh!!!

  47. Not sure if anyone here is a Flight of the Conchords fan, but the “4 minutes” comment is totally making me think of “Business Time” πŸ™‚

    “Makin’ love for 2 minutes. Cause with me all you need is 2 minutes, because it’s so intense.” Ha!

    I love Bret & Jemaine. Though my love for Rob is on a completely different level. (That level being the “insanely irrational” level.) πŸ™‚

    • Flight of the Conchords is playing Red Rocks (big ampitheater near Denver where I am) next month and it’s already sold out! I was so sad when I heard

      • They’re playing two shows here in Chicago and both shows sold out in minutes. I’m quite sad that I can’t see them live. I’m sure the shows will be phenomenal!

    • lmao!!! yes!!!! oh, business time…lol!!

    • it IS wednesday!

      • Ha! Conditions are perfect. Wonder if Rob is wearing his business socks?!?!

    • i totally went to youtube this morning to watch the business time video prior to posting my 1st comment lol..

      i love flight of the conchords!!!

  48. @Carrie and Ceri

    Pictures of your man from last night!

  49. LMAO!!!!

    Oswald is on TV for my daughter and they are having “Happy Big Banana Day” Made me think of the Robnana.

    Singing songs about having such a huge banana and how they are going to make banana splits all day.

    A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.

    • I can’t stop laughing!

  50. Nice interview and pictures with Bobby Long!

    For the future Mrs. Long

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