Posted by: themoonisdown | May 31, 2010

Robert Pattinson gets a Brazilian Blowout from Tom Cruise

(It’s Memorial Day here in the States so we’re busy celebrating in backyards across America by charring meat on grills and jumping in pool or through sprinklers to show our appreciation for our servicemen and women. Thank you for all you do! Comment moderation may be slower than normal on a weekday but we’ll get to it! And go have a hot dog in our honor!)

This hair is perfect!!! You should never cut it... oh wait...

Dear Rob,

I just heard all weekend about this magical MTV promo clip you did with Tom Cruise and I FINALLY just got to see it. So I turned it on and watched some gross fat guy say the f word about 10 times before I realized the greasy old man WAS Tom Cruise and he just called his kid a fat ass. I couldn’t help but think he was some weird old man version of Frank TJ Mackey from Magnolia. I can imagine you’d learn A LOT from a weekend “Seduce and Destroy” seminar with Frank TJ Mackey.

Once I figured out what was going on  all I could think about was how did you keep a straight face when Tom Cruise said he was going to send someone to give you a “Brazilian blow out?” I wanted to give someone a high five and yell “that’s what she said” as I watched it sitting here in my room. That must have taken like at least 15 takes with your penchant for giggling.

Also do you love the fact that something you said flippantly almost two years ago is still talked about and is now fodder for a MTV Movie Awards Promo? This will teach you to joke about showering in the states in all future interviews. Need I remind you about hot pockets?

soooo disturbing...

It also took me about 3 rewinds to figure out what the crap you said you were going to wash your hair with. Was it: doit, dark, duh-t, dart?? OHHH DIRT!!! That was like your Rob/Edward/Confused hybrid accent coming out.

HUGE high fire for using my favorite Luda song of ALL time “Get Back“, aka the song if you hear coming from my computer/ipod/car/office you probably shouldn’t talk to me. Can you make someone in the fandom put picture of you angry and clips of you  getting in fights in Remember Me and Eclipse to this song?! That would make my day forever!

Double Pound It!

I came… I saw… I hit ’em right there in the jaw… so do we love it? When the crap ARE the MTV Movie Awards this year anyway? Remember when it was such a huge deal last year and now we don’t even know?! WTF?! Are you celebrating Memorial Day?

Thanks Robsessed for the video!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter


  1. I keep watching lame MTV (Canada) shows to see if I can catch this promo on tv but so far i’ve only seen Efron’s “my heads on a squirrel!” one #lame 😦

    • oh Efron’ is totes lameeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
      Bieber’ is mehhhh
      but Rob’s is awsome
      Feel the Difference 🙂

      • Feeling the difference che sista…… 😀

      • Ugh, did you see Taylor Lautner’s? It wasn’t even remotely funny. Except Tom saying ‘Mr. Abercrombie’ and ‘sugar tits’ cause I thought he was referring to Mr. Lautner. L O L

        • Yes, I just watched it! I was soo disappointed! I couldn’t barely understand what they said…and they have American accents!!! Could have been better!

  2. Oh, I know when they are and it’s still a big deal to me. June 6th- 9:00pm EST.. Yeah, I can’t wit to see Rob and the new Eclipse clip. This MTV skit was awesome and I love that these two can make fun of themselves like that. I also had to watch the end like 5 x”s before figuring out what he said.. Now I play it on a loop because it makes me all giggly. 🙂

    • But isn´t it obvious to all of you that they didn´t shoot the clip together?! why would they otherwise never show them in the same frame, only over “toms” shoulder? if they acutally had met they had of course done frames with their faces together and at least one or two 5-seconds when you can see them together

  3. Love the promo- ‘Diiiiirt’ and Rob’s facial expressions- simply the best.

    • YES, YES and YES!!!
      Brillz idea, brillz writing, brillz presence, I totally played it over and over, and I didn’t do that since the Twi interviews (which btw resulted in a very…ahem normal, detailed knowledge of said interviews). Love his expression at the end, there’s something discrete and adorkable about it that always dies me.
      Oh, and I totally thought of “burp” when he said dirt, it’s not even the accent, it’s the way he said it. (Yeah, I know, sorry).

      • Hi MP- it was just adorkable how unsure he looked right before he said ‘diiiiirt’.

        • always playing with his hands……

          • nice

          • you keep getting spammed. weird

          • What did I do?

  4. I also couldn’t understand what he said, I thought he mensioned a shampoo brand. But then I read somewhere that it wad DIRT (SMEXY)
    We don’t have memorialday here in Holland. I am planning to watch the MTVMA live on monday june 7th at 03.00 am. I hope we can live chat again like last year. It was HILAR!

    • Yes again for the live chat, love the idea, depends just if I have smth serious early next AM since it’s a week day.

  5. Duuuuuhrt.
    This is why I have a thing for English boys.
    I have loved their accent since I was like, 13.
    I want to date an English dude just so I can hear him speak like that 24/7.

    • Jayde….agree absolutly…
      but I really want to date just THIS ENGLISH DUDE!!!

      • Jayde, I am so with you. But Mel, I sooooo have to agree with you!! Love the accent, but love his accent even more! I do think Rob’s right about losing his accent, it’s not quite as strong as the HP days. Although I love having him 20 mins away I think he needs to spend more time in his hometown to bring that accent back!

        • Am sooo with you honey! Agree totally
          he absolutly has to spend more time in London 😀
          to bring that accent back…ofcourse!!!
          Thumbs up girl!!!

          • Thanks mel! I would also love to go to London. I’m saving my quid! 😉 Hopefully whenever that happens Rob will be there and not in LA!!!

    • Jayde, I love you.
      That is all.

    • Jayde, I love the Australian accent.

  6. I was apparently absent all weekend and JUST saw this for the first time this morning.
    I, too, had to rewind a thousand times to figure out what he was gonna wash his hair with. Weird accent there.

    Also, I had no idea that was Tom Cruise until just now. Even when I read the title I was like.. wtf? Where is Tom Cruise?

    Happy Memorial Day! I’m jealous of you. We don’t get a holiday this weekend (though we did have one last weekend, so I suppose it’s fair).

    • Oh yeah, you guys had a bank holiday right? BTW, what exactly is a bank holiday?!

      • Bank holiday? I don’t really know what that means, other than that the banks were closed. Although since banks are government, they pretty much close whenever they can. I should know.. my mother works for one, haha.

        No, we had Victoria Day. Which is supposed to be a celebration of Queen Victoria, I think, although I was talking to Jayde and they celebrate it in JANUARY. So I think it’s just a long weekend to party.
        It’s the May 2-4 weekend. It’s called that for a reason. Beer! And BBQs 🙂

        • Thanks for clearing that up, Jess!! It’s just that we don’t have bank holidays in the US. We have a few days like today where the banks and everybody else are closed. I keep reading about bank holidays in my british chick lit books and just assumed that’s what they were. But, it sounds like you guys get a lot more than us!!

          • Ah, I see. I’m in Canada 🙂
            I think we have about the same number of holidays as you guys do. Just on different days (ex. July 1 for us, but the 4th for you).

          • No wonder you were confused! Maybe next to our names it should say where we’re from, that way we have a little heads up!!

  7. “Diiiiiirt’ rhymes with ‘shiiiiiirt’ (mis-buttoning from the Jimmy Kimmel show). I now know the exact combination of vowels and consonants that will make me slide off the couch.

    But of course, only when said by Rob.

  8. I watched that clip for 10 times plus and have it saved. Tom cruise really knocked me out , his best performance after Jerry Macguire. Rob needs to learn a lot from him and others. So one day he can act being totally different person like Gary Oldman.
    I never could tell Count Dracula, Sirius Black, Commissioner Gordon was him until the credit title in the end. One great actor . I think he’s better than Jack Nicholson.

    • I think Tom Cruise is now ridiculous and completely crazy with all his scientology shizz but he can act. And yes, I think there is a class acting difference between Rob and Tom Cruise (and it’s not in Rob’s advantage, let’s face it, he’s not the most convincing actor around) but personality wise, there is no competition. TomC is a crazy has been to be actor, while Rob is Rooooob!!!! And it’s his personnality and his tastes who will do his career IMO.

      • just re read my comment, I sometimes amaze myself with my baaaad English!

        • Its better than my baaaaad French!

          • the best is Rob’s must be at least 10 times that i watched this yesterday.priceless

          • ahh, so cute!

          • Greeeeaaaat che!!!
            Rob speeking…foreign languages… LOL
            let’s teach him some turkish and greek!

          • ahh yeah i just wanna call him Bebeğim.. 🙂
            and he just should learn how to say i love u=Seni seviyorum, s ‘agapó

            yeah me too ROB
            ps.he kills me when he say Robearrrr

          • Bebegim??? does that mean… baby???

          • yes it is.
            normally i hate using that word -which my sis use it so much and irritates me a lot.but when it comes to Rob
            it’s just Bebeğimmmmmmmm 🙂

          • I will call him bebegimmmmmmm from now on…
            sounds very sexy…….. 😀

          • @che:
            isn’t he the cutest thing ever. *swoon*
            Salut Robert 😀


          • TomStu (my little cupcake) – le sigh… speaks some french…may be he gave robbie some lessons?
            soo sexxxxyyyy..

      • It’s funny that they made him look so tall, when Tom in reality can barely kiss Rob’s belly…short as he is, BUT the role is good! He can act , but he lost so much credibilty here since jumping on Oprah’s couch…

        • It looks like TC and Rob recorded their parts separately and there are RP and TC doubles. Regardless, its funny and Rob should do more comedy- ‘Bothered’ is another great example.

          And of course his portrayal of Daniel Gale-

        • I don’t think they did that scene together ,same time , same place. Some of the shot kind of been put together . Rob was so dorky there and looking like wanted to cry. 😉
          Just when I thought my love starting to waned.

        • I’ll kiss Rob’s belly!

      • TOM CROOZE 😉 on Tropic Thunder was better than the real thing on Oprah

      • Did you just say that Rob cannot act? Hello? Cruise is double his age and Rob can act very well!!! pfttttttt……

        • PFFFFFFFTTTTT………
          ok…..have just put my boxinggloves on…
          am ready to defend him any time…LOL

        • NOBODY puts BABY in the corner…… 🙂

          • Good one, RG

          • Greeeaaaat one RG…durtyyyyyy!!!!…dancing…with Rob!!!

          • Can I put BABY in a corner, or against a wall, please…?

    • Funny you mention Jack Nicholson : I was under the impression that Tom Cruise chanelled Jack N’s role from Few Good Men in this clip

      • I meant Gary Oldman better than Jack.

  9. The MTV Awards are June 6. Go vote! It’d be nice if Rob won at least one award. I want a chance to see him dork his way through an acceptance speech.

  10. Don’t tell me you all didn’t see Tropic Thunder?

    It saved Tom Cruise from being in my Hollywood hate file (barely).

    “You never go full retard”

    • I don’t know what’s happnd to the thumbs today, but srsly x10000 thumbsup!!

      • As if by magic they just appeared.

  11. Totes adorable and sweet………. durt ……….


  12. Cuter and cuter everyday.
    i luv this boy

  13. Thank you for mentioning the ‘Brazilian blow out.’ I was thinking how could anyone miss that? ROb was trying to hold back his giggles. But at times it also seemed that he was trying not to puke. I’m guessing all that hair on Les Gressman’s arms made him nauseous?

    That pic of Tom cruise with the caption “Sooooo disturbing” made me choke on my evening tea. Thanks Moon.

  14. I begin my day by watching this vid since it came out!!!
    I LOOOVE IT…just love it!!!

    and Tom saying “my plaaayyyyaaaa”…..

    I LOVE THIS…..HIM…..
    Absolutly Rob..absolutly adorable…I miss him…absolutly
    my playaaaaa absolutly……
    Come out and play with me Rob!!!

    (was a bit to dramatically greek my comment…I know)!!!


  15. Len Grossman is by a country mile my most fave TomC role, evah.
    Ahh MTV awards, *misty eyes* this time last yr I was in Robscurity, simple times. All that changed after watching a random clip of Rob in the CMB jacket!!
    Damn you Mtv.
    Happy hols to all in the US and in the Uk, it’s a bank holiday weekend here, I’m celebrating by being stuck in london traffic and listening to baaaaadd bank holiday tunes on the radio. #now playing Phil Collins- Easy Lover.

    • GGGP- We’re all waiting to see if Rob can top the CMB jacket from last year (oh please oh please oh please). And Phil Collins? Oh dear-

      • I can’t wait – a girls gotta dream. Normal!

        • Its great having fun with his ‘fashion’ choices!

    • CMB jacket 😉
      Please Rob , Go Green this time.
      “Oooh huuu huuu I wanna sex you up”

  16. HAH!

    It took me the 2nd time around watching that damn clip to realize that it WAS Tom Cruise, too. Scientology must make you a good actor over the years. Mad props to Tom for pulling some “Tom-foolery!” over my eyes…he’s a pretty nasty old man.

    Rob’s poor version of English threw me for a loop, too. I was like…”wait…what? What’s that?” AH. DIRT. Yes. Ohhhhhhhh, Rob.

    The clip was very endearing.
    Just another thing that he’s done that makes me want to squeeze him. He brings this upon himself. lol.

    P.S. I’m working today 😦 😦 😦
    The museum only believes in a few holidays.
    At least traffic won’t be bad?

    <3. Ash xoxo

  17. “Make one false move, I’ll take ya down…get back, mofo, you don’t know me like that…”

    The usage of “Get Back” would’ve made it for me…’cause you now how I feel about Luda. But then Len Grossman had to go and mention Space Camp and I was DONE.

    My complete undoing.

    p.s. Rob’s reeeeeeeally arrived…a promo with Tom Cruise? YES.

  18. Okay, this isn’t right at all.

    • axe murder……

      • ahahahahahahahahahahah.

        1. did you say “axe murder” because Rob described Edward that way?
        2. did you say “axe murder” because you’d like to hack that thing into pieces?
        3. did you say “axe murder” because that thing looks like an axe murderer?

        You kill me daily, RG.


        • 1+2+3 = all true…

    • I really need to use a lot of greek words to express
      my feelings for that……unspeakable shit…thing……

      Drsaka…..I think you will need to dig deap in your greek knowledge…
      ti malakies…..malakies!!!

      • an insult?
        Ha! I think RG is right- the silicon head looks like that of an axe murderer!

        • Hahaaaa….you did not just post wikipedia for MALAKAS drsaka!!!
          You crack me up…….
          you want another insult for that….thing????
          Axe murderer sais it all….

          • I did just post wikipedia! It worked, didn’t it?? hahaha

        • I just think that THING looks like Rob described once the worse part of Edward…….creepy, poor Edward, who pays more than 1000 dollar for that?

          • It wasn’t me!

      • Mel, Are you really Melbie Toast from youtube?

        love ya,

        • Haha…..lion……well I wish, I guess…
          nahhhh am just a crazy girl from far away Greece
          with a crazy musename (seriously…ancient greek…no toast at all)

          love ya back

  19. That whole clip is one big bowl of awkward.

  20. “that’s my dirty dog!”

    I think Tom meant “dirty train rob”!!! Love this!
    And where, oh where is DTR anyways?

  21. That clip rocks! It made me adore Rob even more (if possible) and hate Tom Cruise a little less…I know, right??!(thx Jessica Stanley for that immortal memory!)

  22. this skit is obviously inspired by real life. During the twilight promo, Rob says that summit Told him ” don’t cut your hair, the fans like it”. Rob answer ” I don’t care”. He cut his hair after Twilight promo before getting back to London for the holidays.

    TC role was different than the usual knight in shining amour roles he use to do, it was a time where his carrer was going down and he took a risk and become an actor for the 1st time.

    Rob facial expressions was hilarious and spot on, love it, Rob doesn’t need SNL, they need him.

  23. I can’t stand Tom Cruise, but that video promo cracked me up. Thanks for posting!

  24. haha.. I don’t want to admit how many times I watched him say “dirt”.. is so adorable

    hope every one in the US is having a good holiday weekend!

    • Love yr new avi, Owl!

  25. So, how do you pronounce “dirt” in US English then? I’m wracking my brains (well make that the 3 cells still existent up there) to understand why the pronounciation is so different?

    Oh, and we don’t call what you call “dirt” dirt, we call it mud, or earth.

    • English Girl, I’ve been trying to figure out how to describe “dirt” to you. We use the hard “rr” sound, if that makes any sense!! It sounds like he’s using more of a “uhh” sound and ours is more like “drrr”. This is really weird to explain, but hope it helps!

      So, what is dirt then?!

      • After listening to it again you can hear Tom say “dirty dog.” That’s pretty much how we say dirt!!

        • I’ll listen again rfm! I think you have a little growl in the “r”. I really should know – I mean I lived in the US long enough and have had enough american friends, but it elludes me presently ….

          And to a Brit “dirt” means general grubbiness eg dirt around the house, ie your house is dirty – it’s not clean. Your clothes are dirty, or you got dirt on them. Or even a word is dirty – it’s rude or crude or a swear word. But it’s not soil, or earth or mud. Although these are dirty so you might say to your child who is about to go play in the garden (yard) “don’t get dirty”, but that doesn’t mean specifically the mud dirt, it means any grubby dirt!

          Phew! Complicated eh. My 3 brain cells (I think I only have 2.5 left now) need to go to sleepy as verrrrrrrry late in the UK (although did have a Bank Holilday nap this afternoon, hence awake now).

          I love US/UK culture/language differences – they fascinate me!

          • Thanks English Girl for trying to clear that up! Hopefully you’ll be reading this after a good night’s sleep! I love the culture/lang difference as well. I’ve been reading british chick lit for a while so I think I’m getting the hang of it, but some things still elude me. As the Bank Holiday, it seems like you guys have a lot of those! Sorry, my brain is on overdrive since I had a lie-in today. (See, I know me some British lingo!)

          • I think we have 8 “Bank Holidays” a year (public holiday for those that don’t know the term. And if they fall on a weekend, we get them on the Monday instead which is really cool.

  26. One more query before bedtime … what is with that jacket Rob is wearing in this (and seen in the Oprah BTS vids) with the wing logo/print on the back. Did he borrow it becase he got his other jacket “dirty” (ha ha ha)? Did he think “aw, noone will ever see this funny logo on the back”, I mean it is soooo not a Rob item of clothing based on the back (from the front it’s fine). I cannot for the life of me think that, even if it were a freebie, Rob picked it up and went, “ooh, cool jacket, so under the radar and casual – love the wings, can’t wait to put it on”. Nope. Maybe he didn’t even notice the back …

    Bring back the bird plop jacket – that was scrummy.

    ps I do think this Rob/Tom vid is genius and Rob’s facial expressions are beyond priceless, he looks like he’s about to burst into tears and poop his pants which is hopefully what he was aiming for.

    • Re: Rob’s jacket

      drsaka and I were discussing this the other day! We were wondering who he stole it from! He had it before Saget’s bday party, so it’s not Uncle Jesse’s!! Who did he see before Oprah and after Bel Ami. Maybe he made a new friend on the set of BA!! It definitely doesn’t scream “rob”! Just something more to ponder!

  27. Interesting clip 1- Regarding the Bella Jump
    Sequence (producer of new moon).

  28. Producer discusses Breaking Dawn:

  29. See if this works:

  30. bummer you’ll have to go here to look at what the producer says of breaking dawn.

  31. A few new eclipse clips… perhaps you’ve seen them perhaps not..

  32. […] all pissed off or fighting. We’ve talked about it like a billion times here before and I even mentioned how someone should make a video with all your fight moments put with my favorite pissed off song “Get Back” by Ludacris […]

  33. I think and know that Tom Cruise is the best actor been a fan since he started out. He is a hot man. I’m a gay guy. Knowing he is my number 1 top actor…

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