Dear Rob,
Since you’re filming Water for Elephants about an hour away from me (I’m tied to my chair right now by my roommates who said I couldn’t drive there) and there hasn’t been any new info since you debuted Farmward/Jacobward/Circusward last week. Well, I’ve recovered and like a good junkie I’m out trolling for my next fix and here what I found…
You’ve up for the Popsugar 100 (whatever that is) for the second year in a row. They say you debuted on it last year at number one and you’re currently in the final two with SANDRA BULLOCK. I’m not going to even give out the link to vote because it’s SANDRA BULLOCK. You’re up against the women who found out her husband cheated on her the week after she won her Oscar. You’re up against the woman who adopted a child from Katrina ravaged New Orleans. You’re up against the women who’s husband cheater on her with a girl who’s a crazy tattooed, nazi lover. You’re up against SANDRA BULLOCK. You’re not going to win. All you’ve done this year is make Ray Bans a best seller, wore some dirty clothes and got drunk a couple times. Now send Sandy a muffin basket to congratulate her.
You won something called a National Movie Award yesterday, which I have ZERO clue what that is (Educational Moment! Someone tell us) and all I can think about is how the clip montage used EMF’s Unbelievable! Welcome back to 1990. Good job National Movie Award people for staying on top of the musical charts there, truly amazing. PS does Jacob Janksowski has some sort of weird stutter, stop speech? “It… means so… much to… me that… you…” or was the chick just not moving the cue cards fast enough?
If we received this once, we received this a eleventygabillion times today. So it’s not that fact that you drew a peen in a balloon as part of a children’s charity auction that’s alarming, it’s the fact you created this with YOUR MOM!!! You drew a penis with your MOM! And not just any ol JR High boy drawing, this peen has pizazz! Look at it go. Man, you are sooo effed up.
By now we all know your not-so-secret love for the Stamos. We can’t blame you for crashing Bob Saget’s party with your agent in an attempt to steal some of his leftover Uncle Jesse clothes for the upcoming MTV Movie Awards. And because Twifans are crazy and if nothing else, persistent: John responded to the question about you. But what I think is most important about this tweet is not that he was gracious and lied about how cool you were, what we really care about is that hot sweaty, squinty Uncle Jesse picture he’s using as his Twitter profile background. Please go to more John Stamos/Bob Saget/Full House cast members parties. Thanks.
So that’s it for news that needed to be talked about but didn’t render an entire letter. Oh and Rob, I also promise to learn how to spell Jacob Jankowski before you stop filming Water for Elephants.
Srsly, it’s Sandra Bullock!
Themoonisdown
What did you learn new about Rob this week? How bad is Rob going to lose to Sandra Bullock. Will you print out a copy of Rob’s “art work” for your “private collection?”
Letters to Rob 
NMA – is a british (nominated by the general public). Lots of people there last night, and the public get to go also, but they have to sit ‘up in the gods’
Twilight one three awards.
Rob – best actor
Twilight – most anticipated movie of the summer
Twilight – best fantasy movie
The highlight of the evening (for me anyway) was when Kyle Minogue introduced the award for best movie series to HP – she asked the crowd – now that the series was coming to an end what were we all going to do – to which someone from the balcony (and it was a man) shouted out ‘watch twilight’….*smirk*
By: mine!mine!mine! on May 27, 2010
at 8:12 am
lots of spelling fails here
sorry
‘Twilight won’ not ‘one’ doh
By: mine!mine!mine! on May 27, 2010
at 8:14 am
OMG! no they didnt! poor kids. i always forget rob came from hp! so crazy!
By: themoonisdown on May 27, 2010
at 2:13 pm
Dear Rob,
Congratulations for winning the best actor award in the
NMA…
I am very proud of you!!!
I have a question though.
Why did Jacob Jankowski had to be…hairless???
In a circus??? Back then??? Waxed???
Dunno understand!!!
Love you
no matter what
Mel
By: melronin on May 27, 2010
at 8:17 am
They manscaped his caterpillar eyebrows too *sniff*
By: Rob's slow mo' strut on May 27, 2010
at 9:26 am
i gotta say im glad… he needs to be manscaped every few months so things dont get too overgrown, ifyaknowhwatimsaying
By: themoonisdown on May 27, 2010
at 2:14 pm
He gets waxed I bet.. brazilian waxed..
heh
By: Hermes on May 28, 2010
at 1:02 am
I didn’t know the context for the balloon thing and maybeh he didn’t either. Maybeh he didn’t make it through visio conf with Clare but more likely through bottles of Heines by the dumpster. And what does he think about when drunk by the dumpster? Us of course.
So he draw us the sparklepeen along with a more abstract version of smth resembling the Moulin Rouge girls of Toulouse Lautrec (that he discovered with Bel-Ami). So what are you telling us Rob? I mean I can be as easy (going) as them, just name the place and country.
By: minuit passé on May 27, 2010
at 8:30 am
Win MP!!! Toulouse Lautrec!!! exactly…now I see the resemblence too.
And because there have to be a lot of Moulin Rouge girls…to dance
I’m in!!! 😀
By: melronin on May 27, 2010
at 8:35 am
“La Troupe de Mlle Eglantine”…lol…..right???
Ah Rob…..you keep amazing me baby!
Keep that up!!!
By: melronin on May 27, 2010
at 8:43 am
That or he just knows how I love “good” jokes like the ones when you draw a peen on smb’s arm when they don’t pay attention. Yes, I still do that.
BTW, I’ve watched the awards (reading & acting natural exercise)…ahem… accepting speech, hahaha. Reminds me of an early Twi interview when he was reading fan questions, 10 yo style (and major adorkableness).
Why is it that so many actors don’t seem to be able to read smth in a less basic scholar way? I mean, that’s not normal, right?
By: minuit passé on May 27, 2010
at 12:47 pm
@MP
Maybe Rob didn’t actually make this “art” but rather stole it from a museum, since I hear that’s what people do there in Paris! lol
By: misty on May 27, 2010
at 2:18 pm
Those Picasso fans are even more passionate than the Twhards since apart for the recent stolen paintings, some Picasso drawings were stolen from his museum last year I think.
By: minuit passé on May 27, 2010
at 4:06 pm
That art work is a secret message to me – If you hold it up in front of a mirror and read the reflection it says.
“Baby I am on my way be ready love Rob”
Or perhaps it says :
“Oi you loser you have a family and a job, stop reading about me on the internet and go finish the ironing love Rob”
Yeah I reackon it’s the first one 🙂
By: h2oforelephants on May 27, 2010
at 8:37 am
You made me laugh really hard. Thanks.
By: Robjunkie on May 27, 2010
at 9:57 am
LOVE IT—this site it the best support group,,I was watching Little Ashes at midnight last night on my laptop..I can’t get enough of him.
By: dionrenee on May 27, 2010
at 11:38 am
Well damn. This IS a support group, isn’t it?! And watching How To Be for the 57th time at 2:19 a.m. is NOT f-ing normal, either is it?! Now I’m just pissed.
By: HowToBe on May 28, 2010
at 2:21 am
defs not the 2nd!
By: themoonisdown on May 27, 2010
at 2:15 pm
Will you print out a copy of Rob’s “art work” for your “private collection?”
yes i’ll
By: che on May 27, 2010
at 8:42 am
THX for the link….
By: robgirl86 on May 27, 2010
at 8:54 am
I found that “artwork” can someone please explain to me WTF is that???
By: misty on May 27, 2010
at 8:54 am
LOL…misty darlin…it’s Toulouse Lautrec jr. or Picasso jr…if you prefer.
It’s Robart…..pure Robart!!!
And naaaahhh girls……come on….that’s a tree…..a weirdlooking tree/flower/bush…
something!!!
Absolutly no peen in that balloon…
By: melronin on May 27, 2010
at 9:02 am
No idea…..try relaxing your eyes, see if that helps 🙂
By: mine!mine!mine! on May 27, 2010
at 9:02 am
did Rob really make that with his Mom???
…bc that’s just weird. And I’m not sure if what’s weird is that he made it with his mom, or the strange peen on it or if the weirdest part is if he even made this in the first place, how did this rumor start anyway???? weird.
By: misty on May 27, 2010
at 12:19 pm
Well, what did I learn? Something totally new to me….
He wins an award
and
he can look DAMN SAD receiving it!
wtf !!!
and that’s SO NOT what I wanted to learn this week…
By: robgirl86 on May 27, 2010
at 8:59 am
RG
His speech was really underwhelming, not what you usually get or expect from Rob.
Wonder what was wrong?
By: mine!mine!mine! on May 27, 2010
at 9:05 am
He’s going to cry due to the pressure of working non stop and misses London
By: niahid on May 27, 2010
at 9:09 am
Something in his eyes, his shoulders and he was trying a bit to hard to smile!
Not his natural easycoming smile at all.
MMM…I think we all have an idea what might be wrong, but let’s wait and see.
Or…he could be just tired
Rosie is too demanding!!!
By: melronin on May 27, 2010
at 9:10 am
@mel
I have no idea what may be wrong?!
Pray tell, to what do you allude? 🙂
By: mine!mine!mine! on May 27, 2010
at 9:20 am
@Mine!x3
MAYBE, one of the phone calls that Mullsten got on her cell during the ELLE interview was Rob BREAKING up with her and Rob is still getting over it. That’s why he was so not himself during the interview. not likely.
or MAYBE
Mullsten tolf him that he smiles too much in interviews and things so they practiced making bitch-faces (you know, she’s an expert at bitch-faces). So he was just trying to act more like her. eww…I hope not.
Dear Rob,
If you need help finding your happy place, call me I got a few tips for you (or at least one major tip).
I miss my happy-go-lucky Rob, where is he??
Love,
Me.
By: misty on May 27, 2010
at 12:25 pm
Misty! What you really mean is:
Dear Rob if you need help with a happy ending…
By: Jules on May 27, 2010
at 2:22 pm
@misty – I like when the words “tip” “lucky” and “rob” are in the same paragraph. Well done.
By: pumagirlsf on May 27, 2010
at 2:36 pm
Jules: you read b/w my lines!!!!!!!!!!!
pumagirl: mmm….me toooooo!!!!
By: misty on May 27, 2010
at 3:21 pm
@Mel
“Rosie is too demanding!!!”
correction: Mullephant is too demanding!!!
By: misty on May 27, 2010
at 12:35 pm
You have to red between my lines misty honey!!! 😀
By: melronin on May 27, 2010
at 2:16 pm
read……not red!!!
By: melronin on May 27, 2010
at 2:17 pm
Honey Rob’s sad because I am not there with him! haha.
Well he could be tired, that’s a BIG(twss) possibility. I don’t expect him to be all smiles 24/7, he’s human.
That’s my 2 cents. I’m just happy to see him yesterday and I know he’s doing ok.
By: southernbelle on May 27, 2010
at 3:52 pm
I miss EMF . DAMN ! That Ginny Weasley sure had grown up nice pair of boobs. Edward Cullen should be jealous of Harry Potter for those. 😉
By: niahid on May 27, 2010
at 9:15 am
they should all be jealous of gay vamp jamie campbell bower! he put a ring on it!
By: themoonisdown on May 27, 2010
at 2:17 pm
I cannot tell you how pleased I am that so many other girls pointed out the peen in his charity scribble. I “lit-rally” glanced at the pic thinking, “Oh, that’s nice of… wait! WHAT!” And Now that I know he drew this with his MOM?? Oh Claire, honey… Maybe it was meant to be a little shout out to Dick.
I like how the awards show had EMF’s Unbelievable and LASERS!
By: Katie S on May 27, 2010
at 9:19 am
hahahah shout out to dick!
By: themoonisdown on May 27, 2010
at 2:18 pm
I must be totally in love or something because I don’t notice a stutter, I don’t care that they seem to have waxed him (though I DO prefer his manfur and I’m sure I’ll get it back when this movie is over), I love his hair (and that surprises even me!), I think his speech was short, sweet and sincere, and I’ll even forgive him his “interesting” drawing because it is very “Dali-esque” and so must have some deep, personal meaning. I can live with that. Yes, yes I can!
By: IM1LuckyWoman on May 27, 2010
at 9:22 am
Oh…just checked out the bidding for Rob’s balloon on E-Bay. Most everyone else’s balloons have bids of 2 pounds (British). The bid on Robert’s is 310 pounds!
By: IM1LuckyWoman on May 27, 2010
at 9:31 am
That’s so great! And no surprise at all to me.
Good job Rob!!!
By: melronin on May 27, 2010
at 9:40 am
Why are we blaming Rob for the peen in the drawing? I think that is SO Clare. A person that dances like that on Ellen, ALWAYS draws peens for charity. Always.
And about him being ‘sad’ or ‘weird’, come on people, maybe he was tired, maybe he was nervous about talking to his fellow british people, or MAYBE he just needed to go to the bathroom right bad! Not everything has a big underlying reason!
By: DanySpike on May 27, 2010
at 9:42 am
He had to pee. Def broke the seal before his acceptance speech and had to go.
By: Katie S on May 27, 2010
at 9:53 am
@Danyspike
He was not himself, but I’m not trying to make a drama out of it, I was just wondering what the matter was?! He def seems less himself, could be that Rosie just stood on his foot! Just having a wonder that’s all.
Nobody said there was a big underlying reason, though I’m still waiting for Mel to explain what she meant? Enquiring minds and all that Mel 🙂
By: mine!mine!mine! on May 27, 2010
at 9:59 am
That Rosie thing seems entirely possible! If Rob read the book, he should know by now that you don’t mess with Rosie LOL
P.s Oh, and on my first comment it must say ‘really bad’ and not ‘right bad’. 🙂
By: DanySpike on May 27, 2010
at 10:04 am
Hahahaaaa……you’re waiting for me MMM?
No enquiring minds at all honey…
and not an underlying biiiig reason either…
I’m sure it’s the damn big elephant…Rosie I mean….she squesed the juices
out of the man!!!
He was just tired!!!
By: melronin on May 27, 2010
at 10:04 am
And you know I’m a dramaqueen (who deosn’t) and aaaall tragedy
and greek on top of that…what a combination…
so I see drama everywhere….
but…that’s just me!!!
By: melronin on May 27, 2010
at 10:19 am
Lol! *crying* “I can’t help it!” hehehe
By: DanySpike on May 27, 2010
at 10:23 am
Hi Mel,
Never change that Greek dramatic side of you!
Love,
Me
P.S. LOL at Rosie squeezing the juices out of our boy! 😉
By: Cath on May 27, 2010
at 12:16 pm
Hiiiii Cath… 😀
Neeeeva…….drama is my middlename!!!
Love ya
XOXO
By: melronin on May 27, 2010
at 2:20 pm
Mel~
She squeezed the juices out him?
*died*
By: mountainlion on May 27, 2010
at 11:46 am
Looooove it……that you love…his juices!!!
By: melronin on May 27, 2010
at 2:19 pm
Mel, that’s very hot and sexy….about the ummm juices.
*Fans self*
By: southernbelle on May 27, 2010
at 3:37 pm
Hi honey…
His juices are always hot…..hooot…
and it’s very hot here in Greece…
XOXO
By: melronin on May 27, 2010
at 3:43 pm
Ummm I want some….oh sorry. I’m thinking out loud!
By: southernbelle on May 27, 2010
at 3:48 pm
@Mine!x3
I answered your question, look up and find it! lol
xoxo
By: misty on May 27, 2010
at 12:40 pm
I like you. that is all.
By: Robjunkie on May 27, 2010
at 10:15 am
This was meant for DanySpike
By: Robjunkie on May 27, 2010
at 10:16 am
Aww and now I like you too! Lol why aren’t we twitter friends? Or maybe we are and you use a different name there? 🙂
By: DanySpike on May 27, 2010
at 10:26 am
No, you don’t follow me. I’m @Adelilly. I must warn you though, I am a complete fail at Twitter. I never tweet. Like, never. Still waiting for inspiration to strike. So now that I’ve excited you with with my lameness, feel free to follow me. Or not. xoxo
By: Robjunkie on May 27, 2010
at 12:11 pm
Done!
By: DanySpike on May 27, 2010
at 1:01 pm
I was just so excited to see him and hear him speak at the Movie Award thing! I’m going to guess that his humble acceptance speech has to do with the fact that he is embarrassed by winning fan-voted awards. He wants to be accepted as an actor not just a hot piece of ass.
And good work, Rob, on all the free advertising you are giving WFE by mentioning it often!
By: Keisha on May 27, 2010
at 11:04 am
Me too, I was aching for more pics of him ala-Jacob and so I was just so happy to see his little taped acceptance speech yesterday, it really made my day, he made me smile :-).
By: southernbelle on May 27, 2010
at 3:47 pm
Has it been addressed that it appears ChestWaxgate has occurred? I don’t see any follicle friends coming out of his (pants) shirt.
By: Keisha on May 27, 2010
at 3:55 pm
He was probably just in the mood of whatever his character was going through at the moment. Rob.goes.deep when he’s
screwingacting.By: Rob's Bitch on May 28, 2010
at 6:12 am
Moon, are you ‘writing’ street now??
“and here what I found”
yo, represent.
By: mariemarie on May 27, 2010
at 11:26 am
Rob’s mom brought that balloon to him when he was drunk and/or sleeping. He scribbled all over it and then drew a penis. Wonder what he was thinking/ dreaming about?
By: dazzledtodeath on May 27, 2010
at 11:28 am
Sparklepeen? lol
By: southernbelle on May 27, 2010
at 3:46 pm
I have to say I actually let out a “ooooh” sound when I was watching last night, it was so loud Mr Deb came out of the kitchen (he’s well trained!) to see what the matter was!!!!!
Thought he was very humble last night and yes, a little serious, but I just think he was probly a bit embarrased, I mean it wasn’t exactly a BAFTA award now was it!! I’m British and I’m not even sure we have the National Movie Awards every year!!
But my god what a load of pretty we got last night – was a pleasant surprise!!!
By: Debward on May 27, 2010
at 11:29 am
Well SOMEONE won a BAFTA and was totally not caring about it because it was a fan-voted award. *bitchfaces*
By: Keisha on May 27, 2010
at 1:48 pm
Sooo true – never thought about that! (award fail!) But i can’t bring myself to talk about that little disaster!!
These national movie awards though – not sure what it was all about and not even sure we’ve ever had them before… maybe Rob was thinking the same!!!I mean, they showed a LOAD of old and new Harry Potter clips as it won an award, but not ONE clip of Cedric – not one I tell you!!
By: Debward on May 28, 2010
at 6:16 pm
No, no. no. Last week, I clearly declared that we are not using “Farmward/Jacobward/Circusward”.
I refer to Ron in WFE as DTR or Dirty Train Rob.
Love it, Learn it.
By: Janetrigs on May 27, 2010
at 11:48 am
DTR, now and always. Goes so well with LTR, doesn’t it?
Of course, this sends my brain into overdrive:
LTR = Lick The Rob; Long Thumb Rob; Lashing Tongue Rob…
Okay… maybe back away from that a minute…
DTR = Do The Rob; Dumpster Thumping Rob; Deep Throat Rob… …
sorry… where am I?
By: kitttatt on May 27, 2010
at 2:40 pm
Whaaa? Thumbs down for DTR? I actually find him hot again for those pictures. They brought me back to his HHH! But whateves. Thumbs down to myself for complaining.
By: Janetrigs on May 27, 2010
at 2:45 pm
You’re not alone honey, those pics of Rob looking dirty are so hot, I just couldn’t stare long enough. He looks so manly and yet so young. I like manly men!
By: southernbelle on May 27, 2010
at 3:43 pm
oh god yes the peen drawing! seriously rob wtf?
and here I thought I was the only weirdo seeing it as that. sick rob really sick.
well maybe it was mrs pattinsons input.^^ you go girl! 😛
By: hici on May 27, 2010
at 11:56 am
soo funny – the peen drawing and the little scratchy sketches are interesting. If i were to critique his art skills I’d have to say that not only is he gorgeous, but also a mental patient – this should go for millions!
By: adrienne on May 27, 2010
at 12:22 pm
@adrienne
If Rob REALLY needed to make ART, then he should have called you not Clair.
Major Fail on his part, if you ask me.
xoxo
By: misty on May 27, 2010
at 12:39 pm
(thanks!) xoxo
i’d be happy to help him do that
By: adrienne on May 27, 2010
at 2:19 pm
My first response to his “artwork” was WTF? Then it was “is that a dildo?” and then I thought “I can’t believe he signed his name to this.” Then I laughed.
By: Rob's Bitch on May 28, 2010
at 6:17 am
We all know that Rob is gorgeous past the possibility of description. He looks mature, but not old. So why, for the love of Rob… I mean God… – and some of you will agree with me here – do the makeup people make him look sooooooooo old in the Twilight movies??? Edward is 17! Why does the characterization make him look 37? It seems like it’s getting worse with each sequel. He looked okay in the first one, but now he’s just looking like a weird college professor.
But… old looking or not, he always looks hot!
By: Madeline on May 27, 2010
at 12:43 pm
I think there was a miscommunication regarding Rob and Clare’s art for the charity. Clare has her OWN balloon up for auction. She didn’t assist Rob with his. That peen (or balloon on a long wavy string next to a foam pool noodle *ahem*) is ALL Rob!
Kinda digging DTR, though I agree that they took the manscaping a little far. Chest hair is Sexxx-aayy.
By: kitttatt on May 27, 2010
at 2:31 pm
Wow if I was an hour away from Rob, I don’t think I’m gonna be able to contain myself, I might just go to that set.
John is so hot, I’ve always liked him in Full House, and even now he still looks handsome!
Rob’s drawing, wow I was looking at it yesterday but didn’t make out the peen on there! LOL. Wow, interesting!
By: southernbelle on May 27, 2010
at 3:42 pm
I saw the HP trinity in that video! heh heh
Also I love the presenter to the right (Domonic Cooper) *swoon*
By: KatOfDiamonds on May 27, 2010
at 8:41 pm
Wow! Had no idea about the “art” project. I found it interesting that there was loads of scribbles and then the peen…my preschoolers can draw better than that, Rob! (although I’d have to call child services!)
I also learned that Rob goes to the gym! WTH, I thought he just hung out playing guitar and drinking!
Oh, and the ballet!? Thoughts, please…
And Moon, I live in the OC. Let me know when you wanna crash the set!!
By: Rob'sFutureMate on May 27, 2010
at 10:34 pm