Posted by: Bekah | May 20, 2010

Rob’s Magicness- not for everyone…

RoblosophyDear Rob,

Tonight I got together with some of my oldest & dearest friends. There were 5 of us and I’ve known 2 of them since birth, one since 1st grade and the other since 8th. We don’t see each other very often, but we’ve been through a lot together. One thing we haven’t been through together is Twilight. Or you. Tonight during the first course (aka fish tacos), I participated in a conversation that went something like this:

Ash: I feel like you’re gonna meet Ryan
Me: (immediately thinking she’s talking about her 9th grade boyfriend) Who?
Ash: Oh! Is his name Edward?
Me: (realizing) No. It’s Rob.

Now mind you, this was after a rousing conversation of trying to explain Robsten vs. Nonsten to the virgins. Beeks, the one old friend who has actually read LTT & LTR, asked, “Is that site still mad at you?”  I asked “Which one!? We piss people off all the time.” Of course after that I had to explain the insanity surrounding the crazy on both ends of the spectrum, complete with hand motions showing “THIS” side vs. “THAT” side. I compared it to Republicans vs. Democrats, Montague vs Capulet, Vampire vs Werewolf & Bieber vs. Efron fans.

So getting back to the initial conversation I shared, after hearing me explain ROBsten, Nonsten & I don’t give a Crapsten, Ash still referred to you as Ryan. And then as Edward. (Which resulted in a hilarious discussion about “RYANsten”)

It got me thinking as I took a bite of cheesecake (the 2nd course)….. are there others out there like Ash?

Turns out there are because not more than 5 minutes later, Lara asked:

Now I know you blog about him, but do you really like Rob? I mean, do you want to DO him?

Green is good. Do me

Is green good? Is purple cool? Did mama say you’re gonna have to make the kitty meow? Of course I wanna DO him. (My real response was something more like: At times, yes.. yes I do. Other times I want to shave off his side burns & take him shopping)

But Rob, hear me out, cause I have a point to all this…… Some people STILL don’t get you. Some people STILL don’t know your name. Some people STILL ask, after I explain how “meh” I felt about the recent pictures on set of your latest movie where you looked like Mr. Darcy, if that’s the movie where you’re a gay painter. Some people STILL haven’t fallen under your spell. And these people SAW Twilight. They saw you strut into the cafeteria just as I did. They watched your cocky smile as you sauntered into the school in your Ray-bans. And NONE of them mentioned a particular affinity for Nikki Reed or knew what the term “Krisbian” meant, so I think we’re safe in saying they’re not gay. These girls LIKE guys. So WHY was the question asked “Do you want to DO him” and WHY weren’t we all holding hands while sharing dessert talking about what to wear when we all DO you together, fighting over who gets to lick cheesecake off what?

I googled the crap out of you the first night I realized you were something. I learned trivia, saw your interviews & decided very early on that no girl in Hollywood would ever be good enough for you. Where were THEY when all this was going on? Beeks even said “I like Jacob more!” I responded, “You mean Taylor.” She said “No- I call him Jacob.” Me, “It’s quite possible he’s gonna end up gay” Beeks “I don’t even care. He’s still pretty to look at” WHAT? These are MY FRIENDS. Pining over someone other than you! Was I drugged when I was first introduced to you and this is all a mistake- a big joke? Or did they take a bathroom break during your pivotal scenes in Twilight and never really felt the connection?


How does one go from me- obsessed enough to the point that I RUN a site about you- to them- a Jacob fan to one girl who would rather know web addresses so she can read about drama in the Robsten & Nonsten world to one who thinks Little Ashes was the movie you just shot to someone who calls you RYAN or worse- EDWARD!?

Have I failed as a blogger in bringing my social circle into my world? They’re even the perfect demographic. I can’t even get my 23 year old sister to read the Twilight books. Should I just give up and go home? Should I be glad that there are still a few out there who haven’t felt the magicness we share? Or should I worry that maybe I’m NOT the normal one- and that they are?


Let’s get Roblosophical today- do you have friends who don’t “Get” it? Do they ask you about Rob? What funny mistakes do they make about him? Why DO some people feel him and others don’t!? DISCUSS!

Don’t forget you have until NOON EST in the US today to submit your “In 20 years” contest entry!!! You can win a Tshirt from our new LTT_LTR Store!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter


  1. I’m sorry, UC. You lost me after “fish tacos”. Ewwwwwww!!!!!

    • But really, I’m glad to hear that your friends aren’t into him. That’s just a few less people in line.

      Now we just have to worry about the other 50 million fans!

      • toooldforthis, I agree with you —‘just a few less people in line’. Let them stay unaware so we have more Rob to share. (hey,I’m a poet & don’t know it) well, you get my gist,right?

  2. “Or should I worry that maybe I’m NOT the normal one- and that they are?”
    — I try not to think about this.

    I was surprised at all the people out there who don’t get it either. I have a little group at work who also loves Twilight, but they don’t even get it. They don’t get Rob AT ALL. They are still (yes, I know) under the stupid misconception that he never showers or washes his hair and smells bad and all that.
    And we all know that’s only half true.

    *shakes head*

    Their loss.

    • these people obviously don’t have Youtube…….and somehow I’m so fine with that, the line is long enough!

      Dear Rob,
      please continue to talk about nits on your head..
      do me this favor
      LTR girls + YOU
      that’s enough!

      • LTR girls and YOU…….that’s enough!!!

        RG……word girl……word!!!

      • win!

    • LOL “only have true” 😀

  3. all I can say about girls who don’t get him…


    I’d DO him anytime, just sayin…..


    • I was just going to comment the exact thing..less people in line the better for me!!! Though I’m NOT delusional enough to think I’m actually even going HAVE him…I did dream of him last night…I called my gf and told her about it::

      me: Guess what I dreamt about last night?
      Jude: I don’t need to guess, Rob. I just know.
      me: What?
      Jude: How can you still dream about him?
      me: WHAT???????????? *slightly annoyed

      obves. she CAN”T understand any of this…these people are not normal.

      • BETTER for US, misty! They’re all welcomed!<3

      • It’s very frustrating when you want to talk about the amazingness of Rob, and you get blank stares or disgusted faces.Right now my biggest ally is my 12 y/o niece.

        • It’s amazing how with some young girls you just know they’ll grow up to be remarkable woman.

          • It takes a remarkable woman to know a remarkable woman in the making. You comments today are incredible, Alice!

          • Aw tnx JR! I try to make up for my real life lameless.

        • here we use to say…”Only fools and kids are able to see the REAL BEAUTY” …and “to be a fool” is obviously the best compliment ever…

          • FOOL FOR ROB!!!

  4. Haha. NONE of my RL girl friends share my obsession. I doubt that any of them even know about Rob’s existence. Sure, some of them heard about “Twilight” and some of them even saw it, but they still would refer to Rob “ah, that guy from twilight movie”.

    >>so I think we’re safe in saying they’re not gay. These girls LIKE guys.

    Here comes the killer part. The only friend who would listen to my babbling about Rob and who actually sat down with me and watched almost all of Rob’s movies, listened to me reading out loud the most hilarious parts of LTR, and got a decent grip on all the lexicon (RobStu, Robsten, Mulletphant etc) is NOT even into guys. I mean, AT ALL. And she is the one who actually called him “HOT”.

    • ha! that’s HOT…
      Rob has that certain something!!!

      • yep, she even went along with my “Rob’s moments” routine (heineken + ciggies + any Rob’s movie / hilarious interviews on youtube). too bad we dont live in the same country anymore.

        the only other person who watched Twi with me was my 40 yo auntie. I dragged her to RM last week and then we also watched Twilight at home. But she is still fond of Johnny Depp , since year 1990 I guess. She said though that Rob reminded her of JD which is a sign of approval I guess.

        • I had a dream about Johhny Depp last night. My husband and I watched Blow, so that’s probably why he was on my mind. I was cheating on someone with him, but can’t remember who. Maybe Rob?

          • *Gasp* Noooo!!!! 😉

    • hi rob how are you’
      im your bigest fan

  5. My bff doesnt get it at ALL . When we were younger she liked Ricky Martin (!!!)- Does that explain things.

    There are times even I dont understand my “acute fondness” for the Robert.Not to mention the hubs is at a complete loss about it. Thats why I had to scan the Webs far and wide to find people who understand me and are at times just as baffled as I am. LTR = Home
    (tears up)

    Now I can wear cool shirts to declare an inside joke and not feel like a ….Twi mom!!! (shudders)

  6. Everyone I know
    a: doesn’t who Rob is
    b: hasn’t read twilight
    c: only vaugely remembers Rob when I mention he played Cedders in HP, or only just agrees to try and shut me up.

    I don’t mind. I like disillusioning myself by myself. And you awesome gals of course!
    Mr. Plaid knows strictly what he needs to know, but tried to out me to his friend whilst sat on a quiet commuter train the other night, unfortunately he forgot Robs name and the friend had no clue, although did say ” look at YOU! Why have you gone red?”

    Dear Rob
    thanks for minimal PR and trying to keep out of the public consciousness in your home country.
    Love me.x.

    • Everyone I know wouldn’t know about Rob if I didn’t mention him. Maybe a couple of them saw Twi because they see mostly everything that’s screened in cinemas. And they have the same ridiculous opinion about it as I do. And for them “that guy” is another Zack Efron. That’s why noone believes me when I do a drunk joke. But I think it’s for the better.

      • Mr Plaid must NEVER watch Twi. Ever. He would have enough ammunition to survive a nuclear holocaust. I stupidly told him the Ballet lesson story last night. His reaction whilst scarfing padthai “Gay, Simples”

        • You walked right into that one GGGP!!!

        • I tell my husband all the Robnews too.He pretends to pay attention, like I do when he talks about records. I told him about the haircut, and he said “so did you buy it on Ebay?”.

          • LMAO!!! omg….

          • If I had I would share a few strands with all the LTR ladies-mwah!

      • Exactly. No one I know in RL knows who he is. Many of them probably never even heard of Twilight, or remembered that they ever heard anything about it. They do not follow any celebrity stuff at all to begin with, so to get sucked into the young adult hollywood racket is just unthinkable.
        I will never, ever bring it up.

        I think they would pity me. And that makes me angry / embarrassed / angry to be so embarrassed.

  7. NO UC….please……NEVA give up!!!!

    Great post….I loved it!!!

    They just don’t get it…..they are all from another planet,
    OR maybe we are…..but I love it!!!

    In real life….I am the “don’t mind Mel…she wants to do a vampire” or even worse “Mel wants to do…younger now”

    LMFAO…..I love it that they don’t get HIM……don’t want
    him… cause……..really…..I would be very jealous…very
    jealous……I can share him only with you LTRgirls…

    Let the others have their Rayans….who cares!!!!

    • Hey Mel!
      Agreed let them keep Rayans!!
      I’ve never had an acute fondness for a stranger before, not even during the zygote years. Rob’s one of a kind alright.

  8. Sad panda face GQ Rob cracks me up all the time, now whe know that he was thinking …………….just NOTHING!!!

    BUT…that looks quite good , honi, keep on thinking nothing, it works! 🙂

  9. I work in an office with young 20-somethings…let’s jusy say I am a wee bit older than that:)…yesterday I was showing them the interview with Ellen on YouTube…one girl said: He has a British accent?? And NITS? EWWW! The other said: Well, he looks better with the short hair than any other look I have seen him in…WTF? What about the sex hair??? They don’t get it—and laughed and exchanged “I think she might be nuts” look with one another when they saw my screen saver was Rob…so I changed it to a foto of Rosie. I need to go back into my Rob closet at work I think:(

    • lol…sounds like my office..I have more Rob pics than my hubby!

  10. Yeah, I feel ya…FEW people in my life get it either. Luckily, I work with one who “gets” it.

    Mostly, I just have to repress my feelings (except for here and LTT THANK GOD!) and/or listen to my husband mumble…

    “that dude looks SO gay”


    PS – I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, Edward is what drew me to Rob. He was “ehhh” looking to me till I read the book. Then saw the movie. Then SOLD. 😉

    • I was the same way! I had seem pics of Rob before I saw Twilight or read any of the books and just didn’t get it- didn’t think he was hot at all- definitely not my type as I go for tall athletic guys (like my husband)! I thought this whole thing was for pre-teens! One day I decided to rent Twilight to see what all the fuss was about and understood why people liked Rob! I read all the books the next week and finally GOT the whole Twilight thing! And it’s certainly wasted on young teens/ pre-teens! Now I think Rob is HOT as Edward and HOT just as ROB!

      Unfortunately no one in my RL cares anything about Twilight…..

      • That’s exactly what happened to me. I totally didn’t get Rob or Twilight until I rented Twilight, immediately read all the books, and was officially obsessed. Luckily my sister-in-law is into Twilight, but she isn’t as into him as I am. Thank god for all of you, it makes me not feel so pathetic.

  11. Most of my friends and family know that I have “a thing for the vampire guy”. But they just don’t know the extent of it…. lol. I don’t think they’d understand so I keep my acute fondness a secret as much as possible.

    And the fact that most people I know mispronounce his last name (Patterson) makes me wanna choke somebody!

    • my husband has said Rob Patterson at least 5 times now and that’s usually before he says “is gay”…

      • LOL. My husband says that too…

        • mine too….rotf

          • And mine…sigh.

      • Count me in. My husband walked by as I watched the Rob/Ellen clip posted on LTR last night. The first words out of his mouth – “OMG, what did he do with his hair. He looks like a big dork.” Laughing to himself (he thought he was amusing), “He has a Vanilla Ice hair cut, what a dork.” Needless to say, he did not get any last night ;oP

      • I think that’s the standard jealous husband response-“he’s gay.”

      • Yes, my boyfriend insists on calling him Pattson…and it annoys me and then he normally does allude to him being gay.

      • My husband said “oh no, not that vampire guy again … he’s so ugly” QUITE loudly in an absolutely full cinema, waiting to watch Remember Me, whilst the trailer for Eclipse was being shown.

        I shrank down into my seat in embarassment saying nothing – cinema was full of young attractive women who would defs not share that sentiment with my husband and he was outnumbered 50 : 1 by women (he declared it would be a great place to pick up a woman if you were single and that he was going to tell the young single guys at work to go see Remember Me).

        He tried to continue the conversation (alas, I fear I am a bit busted on my Robsession) and by the end of it I think my toenails had curled off and my legs had shrivelled up to my knees. Nothing like being interrogated by your own husband in the company of hundreds of young women about the beauty of your obviously not so secret crush.

        No way I’m taking him to Eclipse …

    • My friends are the same, they know very little! And one of them keeps calling Rob, Edward Patterson, so annoying. I think now she just does it to annoy me.

  12. My friends reactions:
    The ones I told about Rob while out drinking. They still think I’m joking after all these months. Because I usually do stupid jokes so that’s like part of the not true sex jokes.

    The select very few who took it a bit serious and are kinda shocked. They tell me I’m completely crazy and it’s kinda sad. It is, knowing that I haven’t done anything new and spectacular professionally in months and that’s the opposite of my lifelosophy. Which seems to be the opposite of the Roblosophy.

    I’m sure Rob’s magicness would work with most of them if they would give him the chance. Because he is so much like my friends. But they don’t, because it is stupid to have crushes on people who live on the other side of the world. Also I cannot confess to any of them (myself included) the extent of this thing and how it was a major time vacuum. They have no idea of the time spent on my phone the first months while out with them just to know the lastest news. And I prefer not to know it either.

    You asked for tweed UC, you asked for it. That’s it for the depression moment of the day.

    • I too have a couple of friends who know but treat it as a laugh. But I’ve curbed ANY mention since they like to give me trashy tabloid news re: mullephants.

      • My husband like to taunt me with the mullephant. “why don’t you like her? she’s not that bad-why do you care anyway?” Eff off-I just do.

        • “Eff off-I just do.”

          I want THAT on a T-shirt!

    • my friends don’t know him/get him = I don’t care
      my time = I care, that’s the part where YOU get ME
      sad face 😦
      BUT on a positive note: I made friendships with other Robgirls from parts of the world where I never was = GREAT!!! Thank you all!


        I don’t care if my friends get it or not…I have you girls, you get me w/o the judgment and do I hear We Are the Rob playing right now????

        • Thumbs up RG and misty!!!
          Love you sistas!!! (I think I’m gonna cry…really :D)

          • luv you too

          • luv you too!

          • You love me two times babe???? LOL….

          • But of course, Mel!

  13. Nobody in my world has a clue about Rob. Well, no, my mother thinks he is disgustingly ugly, and of my two closest friends, one hates everything Twilight with and passion and the other thinks Rob is nothing special.

    Thank you, internet world for being NORMAL!

    Btw, first time commenter on LTR =)

    • WHOO HOO!!!! let’s celebrate your first comment- I’ll give a fake prize.. for EVERYONE.. Drinks- for everyone! Yes… in the morning..

    • HI! 🙂

      • It’s afternoon in Greece UC….so I can drink!!!


        • That was a reply to UC….

          RG you distruct me honey…(with the voice of Rob) 😀

    • Hey there!!!
      My good friend that I’m trying to convert thinks he’s ugly too. WTH? She also makes fun of him wearing lipstick in Twilight. I’m like “if you would read the books you’ll know it’s supposed to be like that according to Stephenie”
      PS- the lipstick will rub off during a good make out session #Duh

    • waves hello!!!! 🙂

      • Aw you’re all so friendly!

        Thanks for the welcome! ^.^

    • *taking my beanie off and waves hello*

  14. “WHY weren’t we all holding hands while sharing dessert talking about what to wear when we all DO you together, fighting over who gets to lick cheesecake off what?”

    We would be GREAT rl friends!

    It’s getting better for me now, but whenever I used to talk with some friends about Rob and they’d be like “Yeah he is ok-looking, I guess”, I felt like smoke started flowing from my nostrils and I started breathing fire. But I think it is very important to do the adult thing in situations like these:

    I remained calm and polite when she changed the subject. Smiling whenever she finished another anekdote about a guy she didn’t even feel like doing behind a dumpster. Let’s not judge her. When we went home I forgot to inform her about the fact that a cute guy was checking her out the entire time. I also forgot to forward her an email to get a free Chanel sample. I also may have stolen her chocolate when they delivered her coffee and she was in the bathroom, but that could also be someone else… Anyway, you see that it’s perfectly possible to love Rob and accept that people might not share that universal truth opinion knowing that the devil will be waiting for them at the gates of HALE.

    • I like your style!!!
      She totes deserved it.

      • well played!

    • This is hilarious Alice!!!
      “…the devil will be waiting for them at the gates of Hale”….
      the Medusa in me loved that…….seriously……Medusa and aaaalll her snakes!!!!
      But we are all ladies here……we just accept….different taste…like drooling over Zac

    • Alice- ILY ❤ ❤ ❤

  15. If he’d been on Lost, more people would know him.

    (Sorry. You know where my head is.)
    I love Ron. And @Janetrigs.

    • if he would be on LOST, he would be LOST a lot…

      • I would gladly explain LOST to him…gladly…just send the man to me!!!
        Am a LOSTexpert….no kidding!!! Hahaha…

    • I keep wondering if Emilie being on Lost got Lost fans to see Remember Me. Or if it was all Rob… or peeps that wanted to see a really good movie.

      • I liked Emily in “Brick” – which is in my top 20 fav movies – a lot, so that was another reason to watch RM. Had no idea that she played in Lost.

  16. All my friends are lesbians. No. Really. Or loud flaming gay guys. I am the token straight girl. They haven’t even seen twilight, and probably never will… they know about my robsession, and refer to him as “the Dali guy in Little Ashes” cause he scored major homo points with all my friends for that (thanks Rob!) My BFF in LA even agreed to go w me to jimmy kimmel if I, by some miracle, score tickets (pleeeeeeeease God!!!) which is sweet of her because she will only be doing it for me.. although I did sit through 3 years of her being SUPER obbsessed with Sarah McLachlan and having to hear about how hot she was and hear her detail everything she would do to her… and then she got obsessed with Tilda Swinton… and she had to share fantasy details about that..

    let’s just say it’s my turn damn it.

    She doesn’t know the extent of my … uhhhh.. interest… but she does know I read waaaay too much FF and that every time I am driving around LA with her, I am in half stalk mode..

    but she will never “get” rob.. though I may be able to talk her into an interest in Kristen… hehehe

    • q.v. my comment above

      my lesbian friend is the only friend who showed me some understanding and actually was willing to listen about Rob on a daily basis. she watched almost all of his movies with me and half of the interviews on youtube 🙂

      meanwhile my gay (guy) friend is gushing his despise and hate every time he hears about “Robert Pattinson”. he said things about Rob that almost made me reconsider my friendship with him.

      • my loud flaming gay guy friend likes rob a bit.. although, honestly, he likes any fit guy at all.. I think he commented something about Rob probably having a great big uncut crayon, and him being really good at coloring (we had to modify all our sex talk cause my daughter is usually a room away playing… now instead of c**k we say crayon.. and sex is coloring… it’s sooooo wrong, I know I know…mom fail!) but I don’t gush to him about it, I really don’t gush anywhere but here… thank goodness for LTR

        • about colouring and crayons – i think it was in one of the episodes of “sex and the city”.

          my gay guy friend is disgusted that i like very “feminine’ guys who look like girls at times. Messy long hair + fringe included. He also insists that Rob looks like every second guy in London, or other way around. (that gay friend lives in London).

          • lol.. maybe my gay friend stole that from sex in the city.. I’ve never seen it, but I’m sure he has.. lol..

          • I’ve never watched Sex in the city either, so I’ll just assume that it was owlie’s genious friend that came up with crayon and coloring. 🙂

          • “I cant color enough. I could colour all day, every day if I had my way. I would use every crayon in my box..

            – We get it. You love to COLOR”

          • I am totally calling queer boy out on the Sex in the City thing… probably in front of his new boyfriend.. then I’ll ask about the new boys crayon … are we talking deluxe box or basic colors?? … ::::evil laugh::::

        • Crayon? That is effing hilarious! Coloring?

          I want to see Rob’s crayon up close and I sooooo want to color him.

          • “Color me happy” please!

  17. This is why we love Rob:: because when he goes on Ellen he isn’t even aware that his collar and shirt are tucked in on national TV…..he’s just so cute! swooooooooon

    Hoe could you not find this HWAT?!?

    • I’ve no clue, it’s soooo endearing! Gawd!!!!!!!!!!!

      • lol is sooooooooo loveable!!!

      • He’s sooo cute and soooo hot…..
        and I think….he knows……
        about the collarthing…….he knows we looooove it!!!

        • do you really think he knows? and uses it to create an ‘image’? oh no! i hope it is sincere dorkiness!

          • Nah…honey…..he’s just himself…comes natural…
            but he must have read on LTR (just sayin) that we love it right???
            So he does it for US……we are his girls 😀 right????
            I’ve lost it….clearly!!! it’s the crisis in Greece…lol…it has a sideaffect on me!!!

    • WOW just reading over all my comments…FTR from now on, when I have spelling mistakes it’s because I’m in a hurry….bell times, kids asking questions, staff asking to borrow materials…..will June ever be here??

    • is it VERY bad that every time I hear/read the word ‘tuck’ in reference to Rob I think about something completely different?

      • bhahahahahah

  18. Bloody hell, I’ve got friends who actually make jokes about my Robssession. To the point that we don’t mention it. Of course the main culprit has traveled the world to see U-2, like, 6 or 7 times. But that’s different…I guess it’s ok if they’re Irish.

    We don’t discuss it over dinner anymore. In fact, when she posted an NPR segment on Facebook, that ridiculed S. Meyer’s writing ability, it’s been strained ever since. Real friends don’t diss Twilight.

    She did like “Little Ashes” but not because of Rob’s performance. A point she drives home at every opportunity.

    Some friends just want to rain on your parade. We’ve all had them. Like the kid who delighted in telling you that your mom and dad are the real Santa. Or the one who breaks her neck to tell you she saw your ex making out with the class slut behind the bleachers. Why do we keep these toxic pals? Guess we just like “keepin’ it real!”

    • But I diss Twilight all the time!

  19. As we say in Mexico. Less donkeys, more corns.
    Most of my friends only said, yes he is handsome, and thats it, and that because they havent see him in his interviews, because when you alredy saw him for example with Oprah, it s imposible that you dont adore him.

    I totally understand that most teen agers prefer Jacob or Taylor, at that age you cant really apreciate good things in life, and Rob is far more that only just a beautiful guy.

    • claro que si!!!!

    • Less donkeys, more corns.

      Rob likes corn. I like Rob’s cornporn. Or is it Rob’s cob?

      This is an excellent saying.

      Thank you for sharing it!

  20. And speaking of who gets to lick cheesecake off of what:

    Mountainlion, do you recall our conversation about cherry pie? Ummm…

    • I do remember cherry pie…and it was great.


  21. Dear Rob,

    It’s my birthday. Can I ask one thing? DO. ME. *eyebrow* Behind the dumpster, after one too many Heinekens, with nits, without nits, with that gold silk robe, with the shiteous khakis, DrunkRob style, Ron style, preferably GQ style, I don’t care. Just make it happen. thx.


    p.s. – My mom never understood Rob’s appeal until I had her watch Ellen with me last night. Oh, she knows now.

    • Happy Birthday, Katie!!!

    • Happy birthday!!xx.

    • Happy birthday!!!! 😀

      • Happy Birthday honey!!! Lot of love!!!

        • I clearly have a problem with my buttons today!!!

          Katie S you know this was for you….right???

          • Haha, yes. 🙂 Thank you!!

          • katie – I wished you happy birthday a month ago. Is it real this time? huh? is it?

          • @Jules, yes, it’s real this time! 😉 And thank you!

    • Happy Birthday!

    • Hppy birthday Katie!!!<3

    • Happy birthday & many Rob returns!

      • Oh my! Thank you, ladies!!! A million hugs to the best girls in the interwebz!!! 😀

    • Happy Birfday, Katie!!!

    • Happy birthday!!!

      P.S. THE ROBE! The god awfull gold silky robe! Why couldn’t he have had the blue or red one?! Has it been spotted on ebay yet?

      • Thank you Keisha and Alice!

        So um… you think you can buy it on eBay? Not that I would or anything…

        • Happy birthday, Katie!

          • Thank you, Rob’s mouth.. er.. allryans! 🙂 xoxo

        • I’ll go and look, and if I can nab it, I’ll send it to you for your B-day, Katie S. It can be the Rob Birthday Robe, and we’ll each get to wear it on our birthday, before sending it on.

          • Do you card? It’s gonna be my birthday A LOT.

          • That is an amazing idea. Can someone embroider? I think there should be a big “That’s Normal” embroidered on the back.

          • And just like that the Sisterhood of the Travelling ROBe is born!

    • Happy Birthday KatieS! Our bdays are just 10 days apart..*squee*
      And I just sent you a request on twitter.. 😀
      Hope you have a great day!

      • So many birthdays lately, yes? Perhaps it’s in the stars for us too…..

    • Happy birthday dear!

      • Than you, ladies!!! xoxox

    • Happy b’day Katie! Have a fun day!

      • Thanks, sweet SB! 🙂

  22. Amazingly enough, there are people who just don’t get it. I got a girlfriend hooked on the books, she’s seen the movies, and I even loaned her some of my Robporn. I thought I had her, but I took it slow, not telling her the amount of time I spend on Rob-related things or about LTR and fanfiction. I did very excitedly tell her all the shows Rob would be on, thrilled that I would have someone in RL to drool over Rob with. But my hope was shattered when, after watching all the promo for NM, she said “er, he acts kind of..weird,right?” And I could tell she didn’t mean weird in a good way. She didn’t get it.

    I don’t understand people who don’t get it. When I see snarky comments calling Rob ugly or saying he has a foot face (wtf??) I wonder what they consider good looking. And I’m sure I wouldn’t get it.

    • I don’t have one single real world friend that shares my love of Rob. So, I feel for you (and everyone else on LTR). But, great attempt at trying to sneak up on your friend with your Roblove. I have a few good friends who know about my love of Rob, they are supportive (I drag them to his movies) but they also like to tease me about it. Then there are those outside friends that I know they like Twilight but I’m afraid to come of the closet with my Roblove. I did get excited for one little milisecond the other day, when a girl at work said that Rob was really funny after watching him on Ellen! Then she completed the sentence with “but I still don’t think he is very good looking”. WTF!! He’s adorkable and Hawt!

  23. So my SIL follows me on Twitter and texts me daily asking me who Ron is. I’m about to block her ass bc clearly she doesn’t get Rob.
    And while I’m 100% hot for him when he’s looking pretty, he moves dangerously close to off my list when he’s not.

    • I agree – Rob does have his extremes.

    • I adore Rob because he’s real. If I wanted a plastic perfect Hollywood type then I would get a mini Edward or adore Efron or any other PR-ready clone. *why yes Taycob I am looking at you*

  24. It’s easy to forget that not everyone keeps a mental inventory of Rob’s wardrobe and knows what a Rome Rob is. Yesterday my close friend and co-worker came in while I was watching Rob on Ellen and said, “Oh, his accent! Is he British?” WHUT? The weird part is that I felt like a failure because I hadn’t ensured that she knew it.

  25. The only reason I “found Rob” was because I was procrastinating on work stuff. I was also trying to decide if I was REALLY going to read some YA books about romantic vampires and sh*t. I really, really needed some brain-off time. The movie had already been released on DVD for awhile. So I googled the movie and watched the trailer on YouTube. Didn’t think anything of him from that. But I, for some inexplicable reason (damn it–damn it all), then clicked on a Rob interview link in the side bar. Don’t even remember which one it was. But the damage was done. No turning back.

    It’s not his looks that drew me in. But his looks are now a part of what keeps me here.

  26. Whats wrong with all the girls out there who just don’t get you Rob?! It’s just not normal. I’m always hoping that eventually when Bel Ami comes out they will be like *oh yea!! I get it now!* I hate the fact that they are not at this amazing party with all of us *normal* women. God they have no idea what their missing.

    • Amen Sista!

  27. I have exactly one RL friend/acquaintance. We communicate via message on Facebook. No need to declare our fandom on wall pages. So, feeling like a Twilight missionary I set out to conform my oldest and dearest BFF. I gave her the Twilight book for Christmas. She peeked in the bag, chuckled, and didn’t even pull it out = FAIL. That knocked her down a notch on my ever expanding list of friends. She called me following her trip out to Seattle. Excitingly, she told me that she “saw” where those movies were being shot. I responded with, “OMG – did you visit Forks?” (I promptly corrected her regarding shooting locations and the history behind Forks). She shot back with, “No” and I could hear her thinking (I can do that), “Why the heck would I take time away from Seattle to go out THERE???” I curtly responded with, “IF you would’ve read the book I GAVE YOU for Christmas, you could’ve enjoy the mission trip to Mecca and reported back to me with plenty of pics.” So, I crawled back into my Twidom shell only to come out to discuss my love during coffee and virtual conversation with my LTR friends. I will have to give her some points for good taste, as she agrees that Rob is “yummy.”

  28. btw….is it just me……or is that picture of him with the
    glasses reaaaaaly hot….!!!

    Myyy…Prof.Pattinson…I think I need some privat lessons!!!

    • oh god yes…Professor Masen. Could someone add a beret? That just about killed me.

    • that’s a manip, btw. i don’t remember if i found it or if i made it.

    • Not just you. I was going toask if that was a manip. God…Rob in glasses=history teacher sex.

      Can someone write a fan fic about Rob as a history teacher getting it on with one of his students? Or has it been done? I’ve been on the twilight/rob train for a while, but I’m just starting to discover the joy/obsession of fanfic.

      • It exists: The University of Edward Masen.

        ” “. . . Miss Swan?”

        The professor’s velvet voice laved across the seminar room to the brown eyed young woman who was seated at the back. Lost in thought, or lost in translation, her head was down as she scribbled furiously in her notebook.

        Ten pairs of eyes swung to her, to the pale face and long lashes, the small, white fingers clutching at a pen. And then ten pairs of eyes swung back to the professor, who stood perfectly still and began to scowl. . . .”

  29. I have several friends who love the Twilight books, one of whom may not have even seen New Moon yet. I tried to get her to go with me when it was in theaters, but she kept begging off. This is the same friend who wanted to have a Twilight night at her home to watch the movie & moon over Edward, but it never happened.
    I’m starting to wonder if she is Robsessed and afraid of outing herself. (She has a son older than Rob.)
    I was telling another friend in our circle about Bobby Long & Sam Bradley. She was mildly interested until I brought up that they are BFFs with Rob. She gasped and I saw the ‘look’ in her eyes. Oh, yeah, she’s one of us! Unfortunately, she’s been having RL issues lately so I haven’t been able to get into a discussion with her.
    My kids’ friends think I’m Twi-obsessed & bring me Twilight candies & tell me things they read/heard about the films. It’s always old news to me. I did talk several of them into seeing Remember Me. Most were affected by the film; don’t know if I converted any to come over to the RobSide.
    Mr. Tatt doesn’t say a word about all the RobPr0n on my comp. I hope I’ve thrown him off by mixing in a bunch of stills from Rob’s different films as well as pictures of Sam, Bobby, Marcus & Tom, but I doubt it. Do I feel guilty that his screen savers are pics of beach vacations with me & the kids? Nope.
    My sis has an old BFF who is a widow & very much into the singer, Rain. She apparently travels to Japan or somewhere at least once a year to meet up w/ other Rain fans & see his shows. My sis thinks this is sad as her friend is much older than Rain & even though she’s met him several times, wonders why she doesn’t do something more constructive with her life? :/
    This is why I am so glad to have this lovely home to come to, where people ‘get me’ and my ridiculous desire to shag the shit out of a 24 year old who in reality wouldn’t give me a second look on the street.
    I like my version of Normal. Reality is so over-rated!

    • I only wish I could take off that darn pic of Disney World and replace a hot pic of Rob on our computer.

      “This is why I am so glad to have this lovely home to come to, where people ‘get me’ and my ridiculous desire to shag the shit out of a 24 year old who in reality wouldn’t give me a second look on the street. I like my version of Normal. Reality is so over-rated!” – BINGO, my thoughts exactly. I tell myself, it never hurts to dream.

      • Let us be ‘dream besties’. We can swoon and perv all we want and never judge!

        • Count me in. BTW – I ❤ your avatar. I like muscular tat Rob.

  30. Okay–confession time. I work as a nurse on the night shift at the hospital. And in the nurses lounge we each have a locker to put our shiz in during our shift. well, all the other nurses have pics of their kids, husband, or grandkids–whatever– taped to the outside of their locker. I however, see my kids and husband all day long, so I have never felt inspired to put photos of them on my locker. Don’t judge. I do however, have a beautiful picture of “Vanity Fair Rob” hanging proudly on my locker door.
    This is when I realized that not everyone understands the “magicness” that is Rob. I get comments from other nurses all the time about how they saw “that vampire guy you like” on t.v. or something. ARE THEY ALL BLIND? Can they not feel the sex appeal rolling off him in enormous waves? Do they not see that he is sex on legs? And want to DO him at any given moments? I will never understand when someone says, “Jacob is so much hotter”. Blasphemy!! (Tay-tay makes me seriously sick to my stomach. Have they seen his fingernails? Gag! If you haven’t–don’t look! You’ll never be the same. Let’s just say he isn’t sportin’ the finger porn like Rob!)
    Thank goodness for all of the LTT and LTR girls who make me realize–It’s not me, it’s “Them” who have serious problems.

  31. I get Rob, I think he’s hilarious & endearing…but I have no desire to do him. The wolf on the other hand…
    Am I still allowed to come to LTR?

    • You are allowed by me for sure… elf!!! You can have the wolf…no problem
      lol…….keep your hands off of our Rob!!!

    • In my book you’re actually the BEST type of fan! open arms for you..CONGRATS and for him to comfort him nice and slowly! Poor Rob 🙂

      • “In my book you’re actually the BEST type of fan! Win for the day!!!”

        BHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH mine too 🙂

        p.s. eatmyjorts HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWL!!! enjoy xo

    • and this is what I don’t get, I mean, nice man for sure, but Letters to kellan? Nahhhh…lol

      • yeah I’m not getting that one either…call me weird. To me he looks like a cat, just sayin’, but he does good things for animals…so cheers Kellan Lutz fot that!

        • Watch it!

          My beautiful cat looks nothing like that thing.

      • EEEK. Kellan is wearing a SLEEVELESS BUTTON-UP SHIRT in those pictures. Noooo.

    • yes. i like you

      • Did UC just say she likes me? Swoooooooooooooooooooooooon. You are my Stephenie!

        Like you more. XXX

  32. UC- I applaud you for coming out of the Robcloset for your oldest and dearest friends! We’re not all there yet.

    I do have 1 RL Twi-friend. She created this monster so she has to put up with it. 🙂
    However, when I have to Squee about Rob or have questions about his hair or Australian flight attendants, I run here or to Twitter. I have “met” some of the most amazingly wonderful people because of this man, another reason to love him x infinity.

    • Oh – I’m so jealous you have on RL friend who shares Roblove.

      You can come here anytime and Squee! I will listen and squeeeee! with you!

    • LOL, I have 2 RL Robfans, one is kind of so-so and one is over the top but is waivering between Taylor and Rob….so like you if I need to fangirl I go to twitter and here! Thank God for this outlet!

  33. Have to get my ass of to work ladies…was great today!!!

    Don’t stop the dance…with him…..

    • I think we are all “supposed” to be working… pffft… 😉


  34. I think Ryan might be friends with Ron….I will ask Janetrigs and get back to you.

    UC, I am in the same boat with you my friends don’t really get it….but we always get into conversations where they want me to “explain” Twi/Rob stuff….sometimes it’s exhausting. ha!

    • we should make up an educational pamphlet, complete with Rob attraction flow chart.. the stages.. the signs… LOL you could carry it in your purse, and hand it out when it’s time to explain..

      • Yes, where is that fabulous Rob chart that was posted a while back?

  35. I forget that there is an entire vocabulary related to Rob (and even LTT) that my RL friends don’t know or understand.

    I mentioned jorts the other day to my small group and everyone looked at me like I had lost my mind.

    I was gchatting during Oprah with my bff (who DOES love Rob) and mentioned something like “boning Kstew” and she replied, “I have no idea what that means.” Despite her love for Rob and Edward, she has no idea who TomStu is, didn’t understand why I wanted to go see Bobby Long the other night, and is completely unaware of the term Nonsten. It’s like another world to her.

    • Allryans: So did you go see Bobby on Monday? I really wanted to but didn’t. All my friends kept asking: who’s he? I should have just went by myself. *pouts*

      • I *did* go … with Ang, even! And he was sweet and gracious and he visited Graceland and said it was “fucking great,” which makes him damn near perfect.

    • Hehe.. I throw out Rob/LTR phrases sometimes to my friends. They’re OK with it because I have a tendency to make up words anyway so it’s nothing new. Sparklepeen kind of threw them but they liked it. (I mean who doesn’t like sparklepeen?! 😉 )

      • Who doesn’t like sparklepeen?! Love that! (Lit’rally). So true!

  36. F*cktastic blog today! Well-written, made me LOL! Even though you’re ‘different’ among those friends, you are def normal considering there are lit’rally thousands of other women who agree that Rob is sex on legs.

  37. Bbbrinngg!!! I hate having to explain why I have Rob on google alert. The weird looks my friends give me when I frantically check my phone to see what’s going in the world of Rob. They think I’m nuts. Whatever b*tchzz!! They all think he’s ugly!!! The nerve of some people huh?! Bite Me!!

  38. I’m still trying to come up with a plausible explanation for my extended family (my immediate family puts up with my er “Twilight” obsession) and real life friends as to why I’m flying back to LA, June 22, after being there three weeks earlier for a wedding.
    I was reading WFE outside and so many women stopped me to say what an excellent book it was and I proceeded to tell them that it was going to be made into a movie and spilled all the deets. Every single one of them looked at me like I had two heads for knowing so much about it and it’s star. My thought-you don’t know what you are missing.

  39. I know what you mean UC. I have come out of my Twi/Rob closet in front of 3 of my RL best friends. One of them gets all wide-eyed at the mention of his name and she’s the one I share RobpOrn with.. The 2nd friend of mine thinks he’s pretty hot, squees at all the right scenes but that’s just it. The third, well she doesn’t think he’s, in her words, ‘all that attractive.’

    WHAAAATTT? Blasphemy, I know.

    She thinks he’s too hairy and not right. Whatever that means. Phff.

  40. I get Rob. I’d do him too simply based on that first picture. I’m just thankful there is a person like you who writes what I think – only a heck of a lot funnier. I’ve found too there are some people who think they get Rob but just don’t. I came across some really creepy peeps on Twitter – naughty Bella and company… Very weird.

  41. I have never been a club-type, joiner person, never wanted to convert anyone to anything. I always think if you like or don’t like something, good for you, why do you have to convince anyone else of it? I like my snobbish exclusivity: the smaller the club, the better. This also goes for Rob. If friends or the general public are uninterested, believe me, I’m not going to try to change anybody’s mind. I like my little LTR club, and that’s all I need.

    The poor boy has enough attention as it is, don’t you think? The screaming fans, the hiding from paparazzi must get really old. I hope for him it dies down and the public masses wake up from the Twilight mania and go on to something else, and he can get on with doing whatever he wants to do with his life and career. I, however, will always be a fan, when his hair disappears like Jack Nicholson’s, when he gets flabby around the middle, because I love his personality. The good looks are a bonus now, of course, and believe me, I’m enjoying them!

    OK, this is going on very tweedishly, but I think the happy brain chemicals produced by viewing movies/photos or thinking about Rob, or reading LTR, could probably be replaced by Prozac, and thereby free up a lot of time for more productive activities, but l for one do not want to be cured.

    • “… I think the happy brain chemicals produced by viewing movies/photos or thinking about Rob, or reading LTR, could probably be replaced by Prozac, and thereby free up a lot of time for more productive activities, but l for one do not want to be cured.”
      Amen, Sister! Prozac would probably wind up being cheaper, as well, but not nearly as damn much fun.

      • Does Prozac mess with your libido?
        Rob has the opposite effect.

        • Good question. If it does, I would definitely opt for the Rob-chemicals over Prozac any day.

        • Yes, yes it does. Hmmm, could this explain my letter above? Or not seeing as I have the hots for Jacob.

  42. There are people who don’t GET Rob? Whoa, that’s just crazy talk!

  43. I’m pretty much the same.

    My BFF appreciates the Pretty, especially in RM, and there are a couple of girls at work I share Robporn with (and I always feel very smug that I know and have found all this stuff on the interwebz and they know nothing about it) so I KNOW that they don’t spend all their spare time on LTR or wherever!

    I have dragged my other 3 BFFs to see RM and slowly converted 2 of them into the Twi Universe but I just feel like… they, well they just don’t FEEL the same as me!!

    My sister first told me about Rob’s hotness back in Nov 08, as I hadn’t a clue about him, or the fillm. I didn’t even see twi at the cinema. Saw pics of him and though (god forgive me!) Nah, I just don’t get him! Then saw Twi on a flight to Disneyland and that was it… HOOKED! Got home and googled him and Youtubed him and my god, couldn’t believe I had missed sooo much pretty!! Said sister doesn’t even share my passion, even though she thinks he’s rather lovely.

    Hubs knows about my obsession – sorta, but he thinks I spend all evening on Facebook, he doesn’t know I spend all evening scouring the net for Rob!!

    I just think WHY WHY WHY can you not see how wonderfully gorgeously beautiful this man is? Why don’t you want to DO him all day long? But my conclusion is they’re not normal and I am!

  44. My sister and cousin are both Team Jacob/Taylor. And I have a friend who doesn’t like Rob as Edward. They are all crazy.

  45. I haven’t come out with my RobFondness, except to my mom (I sent her the taxman photo on April15. She said, “Oh he’s cute- is that one of those Twilight people”) and to my Dinner Club friends… because, well, we drink a lot and stuff comes up, like “Top 5 Lists”, etc.

    DH doesn’t even know about Robporn- I said the “Details” magazine was “for work” and the Pocket Edward is our daughter’s Barbie.

    I mask my RobFondness under a veil of affection for Russell Crowe (I know that’s an odd crush but he’s old and easier to endure ridicule for) and Mike Rowe (from Dirty Jobs).

    • Snow,

      If you haven’t seen Robin Hood yet – don’t bother. Unless you really just want to stare at RCrowe and forestry for 2.20 hrs and not even get an Eclipse trailer beforehand.

      • Boo! My Iron Man 2 didn’t have an Eclipse trailer like everyone else’s. I was pissed but at least the movie was great. You got double jipped, pumagirlsf *HUGS*

      • Good to know! Maybe I can splice a Forks background into my Gladiator DVD.

        Sorry to hear the movie wasn’t great and that there wasn’t an Eclipse trailer!

  46. My entire RL is full of people who don’t get him or how I feel about him.

    That’s fine.

    Frankly, I don’t think I’d want them to because then it’d feel more “real” and watered down and less “forbidden” and something all my own, like my dirty (boy) little secret. I’m territorial enough that I want to keep this all for myself and not share my fangirling w/my RL friends. I have a great group here and that is perfect for me.

    I don’t even know if that makes sense. I’m hungover. ‘evs.

  47. Oh and I have found an ally (or is that allie – spell fail!!) in my 13 year old niece, who I wowed with my Twilight Directors book and the other movie companion books. I even dared to show her my Robsessed DVD! Oh the shame!!!!!

    • I was talking to my hairdresser a few months back. He (is very straight, go figure) has 4 tween/ teenage daughters so I thought I may be safe asking him nonchalantly if any of them were into “that Twilight stuff”.

      HAIRDRESSER: “Well the older ones are not into it at all, but the two younger ones see the movies. The second to youngest said her younger sister got all red, giggly and embarassed when the boy she liked came onscreen.”

      *I then got all red and embarassed because, well, that’s how we all feel when HHH is onscreen.*

      But then I asked, even though I assumed it was for Rob,

      ME:”Is she Team Jacob or Team Edward”
      HAIRDRESSER: “Huh? I don’t know” *kind of looking at me strangely, like I know too much about this*
      ME: “Come on T, the werewolf or the Vampire?”
      HAIRDRESSER: bwahhahahahahah.

      I sank back in my chair feeling Not NORMAL that I have the same reaction to Him as a 10 year old.

  48. I think Rob looks so do-able in that first pic with the glasses on…like in a den, with a bear skin rug on the floor and a fireplace goin’ and a thunderstorm and lots of old classic books on the shelves……..oh wow I’ve lost it now!

    p.s. Rob if your reading this, my apologies

    * whispers not really

    • You know that’s on an LTR shirt… jus sayin 😉

  49. Well this is my 1st LTR comment. I to am afraid to admit the depth of my Rob obsession! I have 1 RL friend that gets it, but prefers Kellan over Rob! However she is a fabolous friend & made me a colander decked with Ron pics for Christmas! Love her for that! She also has watched almost all of his movies with me! I think Robs hardcore fans are very normal! I would by all means Do Rob at any time & any where! I am so jealous of the fan on Ellen getting to feel Rob up! My boyfirend by all means thinks I’m crazy over Rob! Espically for the fact that I have about 10 pics of Rob saved on my blackberry & very often he is my home screen pic! To other people I try not to reveal my true Rob obsession, for fear of being made a mockery! I will be a Rob fan for life! This is my only celebrity obsession since I was 10! When I told my friend yesterday that Rob had cut his hair her question was “did you cry?”. I told her no! I am only a little over a year older than Rob, so in my dream world anything is possible! I Love You Rob! And I love sites like LTT & LTR for being there for all of Twi fans & Rob fans!

    • WELCOME!!

  50. Damn blackberry misspelled Rob to Ron & calander.

    • Girl- we all misspell Rob! We just started referring him to Ron in tweets & texts b/c it’s easier!

      • I also like Rib!

        • and Rod *snicker*

          • Pahahahaha, you said rod.

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