Tonight I got together with some of my oldest & dearest friends. There were 5 of us and I’ve known 2 of them since birth, one since 1st grade and the other since 8th. We don’t see each other very often, but we’ve been through a lot together. One thing we haven’t been through together is Twilight. Or you. Tonight during the first course (aka fish tacos), I participated in a conversation that went something like this:
Ash: I feel like you’re gonna meet Ryan
Me: (immediately thinking she’s talking about her 9th grade boyfriend) Who?
Ash: Oh! Is his name Edward?
Me: (realizing) No. It’s Rob.
Now mind you, this was after a rousing conversation of trying to explain Robsten vs. Nonsten to the virgins. Beeks, the one old friend who has actually read LTT & LTR, asked, “Is that site still mad at you?” I asked “Which one!? We piss people off all the time.” Of course after that I had to explain the insanity surrounding the crazy on both ends of the spectrum, complete with hand motions showing “THIS” side vs. “THAT” side. I compared it to Republicans vs. Democrats, Montague vs Capulet, Vampire vs Werewolf & Bieber vs. Efron fans.
So getting back to the initial conversation I shared, after hearing me explain ROBsten, Nonsten & I don’t give a Crapsten, Ash still referred to you as Ryan. And then as Edward. (Which resulted in a hilarious discussion about “RYANsten”)
It got me thinking as I took a bite of cheesecake (the 2nd course)….. are there others out there like Ash?
Turns out there are because not more than 5 minutes later, Lara asked:
Now I know you blog about him, but do you really like Rob? I mean, do you want to DO him?
Is green good? Is purple cool? Did mama say you’re gonna have to make the kitty meow? Of course I wanna DO him. (My real response was something more like: At times, yes.. yes I do. Other times I want to shave off his side burns & take him shopping)
But Rob, hear me out, cause I have a point to all this…… Some people STILL don’t get you. Some people STILL don’t know your name. Some people STILL ask, after I explain how “meh” I felt about the recent pictures on set of your latest movie where you looked like Mr. Darcy, if that’s the movie where you’re a gay painter. Some people STILL haven’t fallen under your spell. And these people SAW Twilight. They saw you strut into the cafeteria just as I did. They watched your cocky smile as you sauntered into the school in your Ray-bans. And NONE of them mentioned a particular affinity for Nikki Reed or knew what the term “Krisbian” meant, so I think we’re safe in saying they’re not gay. These girls LIKE guys. So WHY was the question asked “Do you want to DO him” and WHY weren’t we all holding hands while sharing dessert talking about what to wear when we all DO you together, fighting over who gets to lick cheesecake off what?
I googled the crap out of you the first night I realized you were something. I learned trivia, saw your interviews & decided very early on that no girl in Hollywood would ever be good enough for you. Where were THEY when all this was going on? Beeks even said “I like Jacob more!” I responded, “You mean Taylor.” She said “No- I call him Jacob.” Me, “It’s quite possible he’s gonna end up gay” Beeks “I don’t even care. He’s still pretty to look at” WHAT? These are MY FRIENDS. Pining over someone other than you! Was I drugged when I was first introduced to you and this is all a mistake- a big joke? Or did they take a bathroom break during your pivotal scenes in Twilight and never really felt the connection?
I DON’T UNDERSTAND
How does one go from me- obsessed enough to the point that I RUN a site about you- to them- a Jacob fan to one girl who would rather know web addresses so she can read about drama in the Robsten & Nonsten world to one who thinks Little Ashes was the movie you just shot to someone who calls you RYAN or worse- EDWARD!?
Have I failed as a blogger in bringing my social circle into my world? They’re even the perfect demographic. I can’t even get my 23 year old sister to read the Twilight books. Should I just give up and go home? Should I be glad that there are still a few out there who haven’t felt the magicness we share? Or should I worry that maybe I’m NOT the normal one- and that they are?
Dun, dun, DUNNNNNNNN,
Let’s get Roblosophical today- do you have friends who don’t “Get” it? Do they ask you about Rob? What funny mistakes do they make about him? Why DO some people feel him and others don’t!? DISCUSS!