*Rob I sat down to write about you and nothing came (twss) cause, surprised you’re MIA! Maybe you got sucked into the volcano when it erupted or maybe you’re in your parents basement with TomStu on another 3 day game and drinking bender but whatever the reason, there’s NOTHING going on and TooOldForThis wrote you a letter about it*
This was fun but what are you really up to??
Can I be honest with you for a minute? The last couple of weeks have been, well . . . rather boring. I know you’re busy working. And believe me, we all appreciate those wonderful pictures we’ve been getting from the Bel Ami set. It’s fueled our Mr. Darcy fantasies, and for that we’re very grateful. But something’s been missing and I’m trying to put my finger on it.
Despite these set photos we’ve been inundated with, there isn’t any other news on you. Nothing. What are you doing when you’re not filming? Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t want to hear bad things. Please don’t start tearing up hotel rooms or getting into fist fights at the local bars. I don’t want you to turn into Charlie Sheen and start beating up women or visiting whorehouses. But can you throw us a bone and give us something to talk about?
I know it’s not just me that’s feeling this way. When I surf around to other Rob sites, I find that most of them are posting old interviews or old photographs or even the Eclipse poster from different countries (FYI – it’s the exact same poster, just in a different language.) It’s like the entire fandom is struggling for things to discuss. So what do we want? That’s a great question. I had to think long and hard about what I really want from you, Rob. (Besides the obvious!) When I wake up in the morning and check for the latest Rob news, what would make me happy? Well, I’ve put together a short list of things that you might think about doing in order to make your fans happy – because I know how much you love and appreciate us.
Can the sex tape be about a drunken night with RonStu?
1.) Make out with KStew in public so we can finally put the controversy to rest. Now, this has nothing to do with being a Robsten/Nonsten/or I-don’t-give-a-crapsten. I don’t care who your sleeping with (unless it’s me, which, unfortunately it’s not) it would just be interesting to discuss. I’m sure it would keep the fandom buzzing for 2 or 3 days. Plus, we could discuss your non-movie kissing style.
2.) Make out with TomStu in public so we can finally put the controversy to rest. This one would be really fun. You know those gay rumors have been flying around for a while. What better way to “come out” than to be caught planting a big wet one on your BFF? Plus, we could discuss your non-movie kissing style.
3.) “Accidentally” release a sex tape. Everyone’s doing it. I don’t even care who it’s with. Let’s face it, no one would be looking at the girl (or the guy). We would totally be focused on you (while pretending we’re starring with you). Plus, we could discuss your non-movie kissing AND sex style.
4.) Talk with David Slade about releasing ANYTHING Eclipse related. Seriously, what’s with this guy? Why are we 2 months away from this epic movie and all we have are a few “leaked” photographs and a pretty lame trailer? It’s like we went from Chris Weitz, the NM whore, to David Slade, the Eclipse cock-blocker. Most of us would probably like to see a little clip from the infamous “Tent Scene” or (dare to dream) the “Leg Hitch” scene. So if you could arrange that, we would be most grateful.
This is pretty much what he's been up to: chain smoking
So there you have it, Rob. Just a few suggestions as to how to get your fandom jump-started. I know you’ve probably been too busy to notice, but it’s been really dull around here. My house is clean, my laundry is caught up and my family has been enjoying nice, hot home-cooked meals. Something is definitely wrong. Please save us all from the tedious boredom of everyday life.
Thanks in advance,
So let’s start taking bets on what Rob’s been up to since leaving Budapest. And speaking of WHILE in Budapest where was he? You KNOW he went out and night, does Hungary just not have paparazzi or locals you give a crap about Rob? DISCUSS…
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