I’ll admit it, things have felt different. I don’t know if it’s the fact that it’s basically confirmed that you have a girlfriend and we’re no longer in the exciting speculatory “are they-aren’t they” phase of our relationship or your relationship or whoever’s relationship. Or if it’s the fact that I’ve been so inundated with you for the past year and 1/2 and well, it’s only natural that things fade. Oh but don’t get me wrong! I’m not saying that the feelings HAVE faded- they haven’t. Are they as strong as they were on day 1? No. Are they as passionate as the first time our eyes met my eyes looked at your eyes not looking at mine? No. Do things feel as fresh and interesting as they once did? No. Have I watched every single one of your interviews? Or even more than ONE from the Remember Me press tour? No… Sigh… it’s kinda depressing. I miss it. I miss us. I miss the way we were when I was no one you knew (oh wait- that hasn’t changed) and you were SO new. Everything was new- even though you were wearing clothes you had owned for the past 7 years, they were still new to me! And now…. it’s just so normal.
So Rob, what is it? What is it that would light the fire in me again? Ya know- like when you think back to the days when you & I had the butterflies? Well, I started doing some thinking and then some digging because unlike any other relationship (or just like the relationships of crazy-times people who have time for that scrap booking shit), I have a complete record of the past year and 1/2 of our relationship, and luckily I have kept meticulous records. So, today I want to discuss what I miss. What I miss about US/YOU/ME and finding YOU for the first time.
That blue sweater. Sure it was worn back in the Harry Potter days when you were just a cute schoolboy, and then worn when you got confused in front of that church in Vancouver. [HOLD UP- I just checked my meticulous notes from the past year. In front of the church in Vancouver, you were NOT wearing the sweater like I once thought.] Whatever, I miss you getting lost in front of Praise & Worship signs. And I miss that blue sweater. Please wear it on your res-hoots in Vancouver. I don’t care if it’s 1,000 degrees up there right now. I miss it
Your mom. And when we first “met” Clare & when we first “talked” (or when I talked to her and she pretended she didn’t see the letter I wrote come up in her google alerts)
Not knowing the names of your past or present girlfriends and wondering who they were. I miss googling “Robert Pattinson’s girlfriend” and coming up with something other than some sort of combination of the names Robert & Kristen. I miss not being SO very aware of your love life that I feel like I could create the perfect woman for you- (ME). I miss wondering if I am your type (I’m not. I hate the ‘hood)
There being new things to watch– new videos to see- new pictures. I miss feeling like I did when GQ Rob came out. Sure, maybe it’s not even your hottest photo-shoot anymore, but it is by far the most amazing. “Remember where you were?” It’s like when John Lennon was shot or when Hurricane Katrina happened or maybe like in Britain when the Queen dropped her polo stick or something. It’ll go down in history as a MAJOR MOMENT in the Robtimeline- “Remember where you were when the GQ Rob pictures came out?” It’s EPIC.
When I hadn’t see you yet in person and wondering what it might be like to lose my Rob Pattinson virginity. And it WAS amazing, and it WAS magical, and I can’t wait for the 2nd or 2nd-in-a-half time to see you, but there will never again be a first….
Listening to your music & feeling….. I dunno, like I was seeing you for the first time every time I heard your mumblish ways. (Go listen to Rob Radio right now!) I miss literally CRYING because I was an emotional mess and your mumbles just brought the tears while I was so blinded by my love for Twilight that I mistook the first film to be good art OR I was just really, really attracted to you (more likely, although I’ll be honest, there may have been a time when I considered Twilight to be good art but just because I drank the Twilight kool-aid, which is non alcoholic, and Stephenie-Meyer Approved)
Taking the pocket-sized version of a character you portray with me to interesting places and making videos with him and his pocket-sized friend in the middle of a park in Los Angeles and barely even caring what other people thought. That’s like, really embarrassing now.
Why yes- those ARE the very first pictures we posted of Rob EVER!
What do you miss about Rob!?