Posted by: themoonisdown | April 2, 2010

Cougar loose on the set of Water for Elephants! Watch out Rob!

Dear Rob,

I’m so glad you have the time to read my letter, since I know you’re so busy filming these days.  Where are you now?  Budapest?  I hope they aren’t “pest-ering” you in Budapest.  Ha!  Okay, I’ll move on from being lame now, because I have a REAL CONCERN about your film career.

You are going to begin work soon on one of my favorite books EVER.  It’s not too long before you’ll be portraying Jacob Jankowski in the film version of Water For Elephants.  And I’m dying just a little.  (Warning, dear readers, mild spoilers ahead!)  I don’t actually cast people in a film version when I read books, because the characters are just themselves to me, but I know what’s right, and what’s wrong.  And you, starring in a circus-themed film (I’m obsessed with old circuses and sideshows) as the veterinarian, holding hands with a monkey and sweet-talking an elephant?  It’s SO RIGHT.

But here comes the PSA.  Or maybe it should be called the RSA (Rob Service Announcement) because it’s only for you.  The general public doesn’t have to worry about this threat.  But you?  Rob, watch your ass.  (I know, you have a million women doing that for you, but we can’t be there all the time!)

Lemme show you what I call "the pretzel"

You might be wondering “what’s the big danger”?  True, you don’t have to do anything dangerous—there won’t be any trapeze flying for you, or contortionist work (although if you’d like to try it out, I’m available to watch—or participate).  But Rob, there is a cougar on the loose on your Water for Elephants set.  And I’m not talking about the trained animals.

See, I know this, because I happened to see your first film.  The one where you ended up on the cutting room floor, and only got in the DVD extras.  Remember this one?

That’s you, in the movie Vanity Fair.  With Reese Witherspoon, playing your MOTHER.  And now she’s been cast as Marlena, your love interest in WFE?  HOLY OEDIPAL HELL.  Seriously?  REALLY?

Wait you were in Vanity Fair AND you are Edward?! I had NO idea, I swear!

I think, Rob, that Reese may be an original Twi cougar.  She saw how nicely you were growing up from that rosy-cheeked boy wearing what I can only assume is a napkin from dinner around your neck in Vanity Fair. Maybe Reese started thinking “Edward is just so dreamy in tweed” as she watched New Moon with her kids.  Or maybe she was thinking how great it would be for you to push her up against a wall like you did Emilie de Ravin in Remember Me. And maybe the best way to get over Jake Gyllenhaal would be to get under you.  (And who can blame her, really?)  While I’m generally not agist (I’d like you to be accessible to all ages and know that your appeal isn’t limited to screaming teens), the fact that she played your mother makes this movie match-up a little unsavory to me.

For my RSA, I would like to emphasize this point to you, Rob.  Reese is a Southern Girl (a Southern cougar, really, but that’s not an official term).  And Southern Girls are notorious.  They have a full complement of sexy weapons in their arsenal.  I asked my friend and yours, Lula, who is the ultimate Southern Girl, what you need to look out for.  Her quick guide is as follows:

  • Diamonds and pearls on a date?  Of course.
  • Diamonds and pearls in bed?  YES.
  • Lipstick:  It’s not an option.
  • Beer:  Learn to love it.
  • Cleavage, when used in tasteful amounts, is a powerful weapon.
  • Knowledge of SEC football, when used in tasteful amounts, in a powerful weapon.
  • A skirt slit up to there?  Hot.
  • Jeans & boots?  Hotter.
  • The motto:  I gave my heart to Jesus, but my butt’s all yours.

Follow the cut learn the rest of a Southern girls seduction secrets

Reece's tattoo

Gives you chills, right?  So watch out for the Southern Girl seduction tactics.  That Louisiana accent is really cute, but when she says “y’all should stop by my trailer”, be forewarned; it really might be an invitation for you to go “down South”!  Never trust her home cooking—roofies might be the secret ingredient to her delicious pecan pie.  (And butter.  Always butter—right Paula Deen?)  One more thing that I discovered through the magic of Wiki: Reese is an Avon Lady.  (Well, Avon Global Ambassador, whatever.)  Either way, she’ll have an endless supply of Skin So Soft.  Do not allow her to rub you down!  It’s just an excuse to get your pants off.  (Please don’t let her rub you down with butter, either.  That Paula Deen’s a freak!)

I know there’s nothing I can do to recast Marlena.  I am going to just try to push down the mother/son creepy factor while I watch the movie and focus on your portrayal of Jacob.  And you seem to have dodged the Creepiest Cougar of them all, Cougar Cathy, so I’ll have to cross my fingers that you’re able to wiggle your way out of this one, too.  Without the aid of Skin So Soft.

Here’s hoping that Reese never asks you if your “South will rise again”,
Freya

*Special thanks to Lula! for her kick-ass Southern Girl’s Seduction Tips.

Big thanks to Freya and Lula for informing Rob what he should be looking out for on the set of WFE! Give them a hand and then let’s discuss Skin So Soft, did anyone else’s grandma cover them in it during the summer like mine? Other southern gals out there what else should Rob be looking out for?

Special Notes:

Speaking of Water for Elephants… We heard from LTR reader Krystal about an Water for Elephants reading group starting THIS SATURDAY: Check it out

Don’t forget about The Biggest Loser in the Forum: Start losing April 5th!!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter

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Responses

  1. I gave my heart to Jesus, but my butt’s all yours.

    Thats explains alot!!!! Bwahahahaha

    • hilarious.

    • “”I gave my heart to Jesus, but my butt’s all yours””

      SHIZZ-A-LICOUS!

  2. She’s an ambassador for Avon, wow, how classy, what else can a girl dream of (other than NOT getting even close to Avon!)?

    Here’s to hoping that Steam won’t be around when Robs goes South (!).

    • Well, I guess someone feels very passionate about Avon. Or Steam. OMG, is it both?

  3. How apropos that he says, “it’s too late to play the mother now” She obv. agreed 🙂

  4. Reese and I have like 1 degree of seperation, so I can’t say anything bad-she’s my people. Us southern gals like to feed a man up, so she may win him over with her non-hot-pocketness. That would be my strategy.

    • You’re my people.

  5. As a southern girl, I can only give you the appropriate applause and nod sweetly while fanning myself.
    Well said, Freya!

    • I imagine you to be dictating this comment (because typing would ruin your manicure) from your veranda.

    • Freya, from one southern woman to another…

      Bless your heart!

  6. A true Southern girl can make you a perfectly mixed Jack & Coke, while wearing pearls and a sundress, while tailgating with you at a SEC football game.

    She also knows how to butter up (not literally, Paula Deen style) your Mama and your Daddy. Claire and Dick wouldn’t know what hit them and would fall in love with said Southern girl faster than you could say “I love TomStu.”

    A true Southern girl could also whip you up some chicken and biscuits you said you finally tried and liked. We know the way to a man’s heart is through is stomach.

    • Well said Cam!

    • “She also knows how to butter up (not literally, Paula Deen style) your Mama and your Daddy. Claire and Dick wouldn’t know what hit them and would fall in love with said Southern girl faster than you could say ‘I love TomStu.'”

      Truth!

      • but I DO LOVE TOMSTU! (my little cupcake) le sigh.

    • AMEN to that!!! 🙂

    • I’m not exactly Southern, but that doesn’t matter, Rob can sample my chicken and biscuits any time.

      • T.O.O. Girl, you are bad…

        And that’s why we love you!

        • Why, thank yew! (said with a Southern drawl)

  7. My grandma was an Avon lady and yes, there was always Skin So Soft available. It’s greasy and doesn’t do anything to keep bugs away, but I’d be happy to rub you down with it,Rob.

  8. bahahahahah…
    my butt is all yours
    Men don’t want to hear anything else right?

    i have to admit that the whole mother/son thing got me a little concerned aswell. But I’ll just ignore that and crop her face out when he ‘goes down south’ on her in the movie. Maybe there won’t be any sex scenes? Who knows?
    Anyhow it would be another “Rob going at it” recording I’ll gladly add to my iPod folder called ‘h.o.t’…

    • ‘my butt is all yours
      Men don’t want to hear anything else right?’

      **coffeespray**
      oh my dear Bleriana, no truer words were spoken!

      • I read waaay to many fanfic…

        And guys only think about the s-word right?

        I heard that men think about it every 3 seconds… My experience showed me that they think about it constantly though. So imagine what saying THAT to a guy would do to him…

        I wonder if Rob is the same….

    • yes bler there will be a sex scene-at least Marlena and Jacob had sex, like at the top of the empire state bulding-unless i remember wrong

      p.s. u got my mail?

      • wait… what?!
        Marlena and Jacob have sex at the top of the empire state building *imagines it* dayuuum!!
        I guess I need to read that book asap. Not because of the sex… just to understand Robs character better… 😉

        p.s. Yeah I got your mail and I almost died. Those pictures made me shiver. In a good sense. May I use them for today’s Robporn post over at TCS?

        • yes B u can use them

          and yes u(we)should absolutely read it
          plus yes the sex scene isn’t long or steamy
          just starts with a kiss at the top of the empire state, don’t know where ends 🙂

      • Um….no sex scenes at the top of the Empire State Building in Water for Elephants and…though there can, of course, be re-writes as it goes along, the sex scenes in the script don’t seem to be as steamy at all as those described in the book. I demand a re-write!

        • So reading the book is definitly worth it?
          I haven’t read the script and I don’t plan to…
          WaterForElephantsVirgin until the movie comes out!

          • I dont recall any steamy scenes in the book? Since I just finished the book this afternoon.

            Its a nice story and there is sex in the book but hopefully the script writer will take “creative license” with the three sentences and go full out dirrrty so that it would be good for the …..em, movie. LOL

            Someone have the script for WFE? T3chosen@aol.com

    • Hi B, can we be friend ? 🙂

      • Of course… But I warn you. I am a complete PattinPerv.
        You should stay away from me (said in most serious Robward voice)

        • Me too. No one can keep pure thought on the Rob 😉
          I’m from Jakarta, Indonesia. Where you from?

          • Munich, Germany. But I was born someplace different.

            You know what? Let’s exchange e-mails instead of spamming LTR…
            Mine:
            thecoldshower@yahoo.com

  9. OMG! I read WFE yesterday. Didn’t get another thing done! I can see Reese in that role and had heard Sean Penn was to play August, but backed out. Pity. He is perfect only he wouldn’t need to stretch much, as old boy is BAT-SHIT CRAZY already. As long as MiniMe doesn’t play Walter I don’t care. Hope there is a hefty budget for this one…cougars and elephants don’t work cheap!

    • Christoph Waltz is going to play Reese’s husband fresh off his Oscar win in Inglorious Basterds. So Christoph has an Oscar and Reese has an Oscar… this should be a damn good movie!

      • It better be. Can wait to see Rob and Christophe on the ring.
        It will be wiiiild ( in Rob’s voice / Twilight DVD commentary )

        • bahahahahahha @It will be wild.
          That is like my favourite part of the documentary.
          Ok fine. The whole documentary is my favourite…

    • @SWAN—-you read the book YES?
      didnt you love ROSIE?? she was my fav. character.. (and Robbie’s already done some publicity shots with her)… I read she felt him “up” though..
      they didnt get THAT in the photoshoot. haha.

      @ Keisha- Christoph Waltz dropped in and Sean Penn dropped out.. (he dropped out after Robbie signed on) Dunno whats up with that.. but I’m sure it had something to do with acting snobbery (Penn said he only works with “actors” not “celebs”.. and probably Penn’s ego couldnt take it…)
      Penn’s wife, actress Robin Wright, should be nominated for sainthood after sticking with that assh&*e for as long as she did. blea…

      On the other hand.. if Penn came out in the part, he would just play himself.. (probably).. Ok, I’m being mean.. but honestly.

      Bring on Christoph W.! love em!

      • Hermes, your comment “Penn said he only works with “actors” not “celebs”.. and probably Penn’s ego couldnt take it…” intrigues me. Where did you hear he said that?

      • I think Penn’s reason for dropping out prolly had more to do with being arraigned for an assault charge (on a papparazzi) and being up in the air about whether he might have to go to jail! He may not be able to plan any kind of work right now. Penn and Kristen are friends since working together in Into the Wild so I don’t think he would have dropped out to avoid working with Rob…

  10. I must say, I am SHOCKED! Yes, shocked, and appalled that a Southern gal would betray the sistahood by giving away our secrets! The poor thing….

    Anyhoo, you go Reese! Show the Rob what all the tawk is about wif us Southern Belles…nevermind that Momness previously. Ya gotta grab the bull by the horns, uh, maybe not the horns, but you know whut I mean…..

  11. LOVE!!!
    As a southern girl from Alabama, I would have to agree with everything stated above.
    Although, I thought Reese was from Tennessee?

    • Reese is from Nashville.

  12. Fantastic letter Freya (and Lula)!!

    I bet Robbie will print this out and use it as a guide before he starts shooting the film. lol

  13. i’m so exciting for that movie.i read the script and counting days for the book. it’s just amazing.
    and i’m sure Reese will be so impressed by Rob’s evulation.from a rosy cheeked boy(i’m ok with that) to hottest male on the earth
    lucky b*tch

    by the way southernBELLE where are u? this is your day

    • Yeah SB, where are you girl?

    • Hi Che, do you have link for the script?

      • niahid sorry i got it from scriptshadow but it seams they removed it
        but if u write your e-mail i can send it to u

        • Che, would you send it to me? Crazygurl20n8@aol.com.

        • My email is hdy_nia@yahoo.com, Could you send it please?

        • sent it.
          hope like them

    • Hey y’all, I’m back! I was busy, took my dd to an easter playgroup thing this morning, got back and now we have family coming over. I miss LTR!

      I haven’t read the post yet, it’s too hectic here right now. I’m trying!

      Love y’all.
      Sb

  14. American by birth, Southern by the grace of God. That’s really Reese’s tattoo.
    Don’t forget the SWEET TEA! She can show that Brit how tea is supposed to be consumed. Cold and sweet enough to rot your teeth.
    Maybe she will bake him a red velvet cake while wearing her push up bra, sundress, heels, pearls, and feed it to him at the halftime of a college football game. Cause you know we all go back to the tailgate for a little extra nip and flask refill during the half.
    Reese may be from Tennessee but I’ll leave Rob with this thought…Carolina girls, best in the world! Come on over Rob and I’ll show you how to Shag. It is our state dance afterall (get your mind out of the gutter ;-p)

    • AMERICAN BY BIRTH, SOUTHERN BY THE GRACE OF GOD! I almost got a tat that said that once. Hell yeah! Instead I’ve put it on the back of my big black Dodge Ram 4 wheel drive! And yeah, I’ve been known to wear pearls to bed….

      Therealrobzilla: Like Reese I’m from Tennesse but I did live in South Carolina too for several years. I think we could definitely teach Rob to shag….

      • You have a big bad ass Dodge Ram??? I am so effing jealous of you right now, tupelohoney!!!!

        • Keisha: Yeah, I got a Bad Ass Dodge Ram! LOL. It’s black with purple pinstripes down the side and has the above mentioned quote custom painted across the tailgate. (I had a bumper sticker that said it but somehow that just wasn’t enough). I’m real short (5’1) so I had to have a U shaped bar installed under the door frame so I could climb up into it!

          It’s just a Southerngirl Thang!

          • I love your purple truck! I can totally picture you climbing up in your truck!

            I just have a mini-van :-). And a Honda Civic.

          • Gah! Sometimes I think of just throwing myself at the next single dude I see with a Dodge Ram just so I can have one. #truckh00r

          • Keisha: Just so long as that single dude is a good ol’ beer drinkin’, flannel shirt and faded levi’s jeans wearin’ southern boy!! Go for it!

          • Well, Rob IS from SOUTH Barnes so he qualifies as Southern 😉
            PS- Iowa girl here. We don’t have many Southern boys here but Midwestern farm boys are kinda similar. They love Jesus, Mama, and John Deere but not necessarily in that order.

          • LOL. Your mid-western farm boys sound very similar to my southern boys…

            And it kinda sounded like I was describing Rob too, right? South Barnes, yeah that qualifies Rob as southern too!

      • Don’t we just love big trucks and cars here in the south? 🙂 And we drive like we mean it too! Woot!

        • Oh and thumbs down for me? What did I say? 😦 Is it because we drive big vehicles?

          • Probably so SB. Some folks just aren’t any fun…

          • What’s wrong w/ driving a big vehicle? Is it bec. of the gas? Well I plan my day accordingly so I can save fuel and not have to drive around constantly.

            How are you today tupelohoneybunchesofoats??? The weather is nice today here, very warm!!!

          • LOL. Never been called that before.

            I’m good. It’s warm here too. Around 80 degrees. I’ve been sittin’ on my porch swing listening to the kids play and watchin’ the big, puffy clouds float on by..

    • Don’t forget to add a pinch of baking soda when you make the tea!

    • I have to agree that Carolina girls are indeed the cream of the southern girl crop 😉 hehehehe

    • I want to hand feed Rob chicken from Bojangles… because once he’s had it he’ll never go back… Yeah, southern girls rule…

  15. Hilarious letter! Although, I’ve never considered Reese as a cougar, isn’t she like in her 30s? Anyway…cougar or not, I’m excited to see her pairing up with Rob, since clearly I hadn’t watched the Vanity Fair DVD extra, where Rob wore, I quote “a napkin from dinner around his neck.”
    Cathy Hardwicke = Creepiest Cougar! WIN WIN!

  16. Lol love the post!

    I have to say, never saw Vanity Fair so I don’t have that mental image of them being cast as mother/son, so not ever having that image forced on me, I guess I don’t have the issue thinking its weird them being cast as love interests…its been a long time since I read the book but wasn’t marlena a bit older than jacob in the book? Or am I just making stuff up in my head again? 🙂

    Plus what’s five-and-a-halfyears age difference?….wait that’s me, ahem, I mean ten.

    • I think Marlena was actually younger than Jacob in the book. She is 17 when she gets married, which is three years prior to meeting Jacob, so that would make her 20. Jacob is 23 at the start of the book. Or at least in his circus memories.

      Why do I know this random crap?

      • Thank you! I’m glad someone remembered!

        I’m actually ashamed at myself that I didn’t remember because I usually tend to absorb the most random things.

        Wonder if they went with her to bridge the age between Marlena and August, since the Christoph guy they cast for him is like 30 years older than Rob/Jacob. Maybe they figured a 20 year difference between him and Reece was a little more believable than if they got someone younger? Just a thought.

        • Yo, people that have read the book- I have several questions but I think I will just ask one for now: What time period does this book take place?

          • The character Jacob is an old man in present time, remembering his youth in the circus in the early 1930s as flashbacks, I believe. I may be wrong. The question is will they have Rob be the old version, like they did with Brad Pitt in Benjamin Button, or will they get another actor?

          • 1930s. During the Great Depression.

          • @The Old One- That’s a good question. Think they should have Rob play the old man Jacob too or do you think they should stick with casting an old actor??

          • TOO no Rob won’t play old Jacob

            http://waterforelephantsfilm.com/2010/03/21/robert-pattinson-will-not-be-transformed-into-an-old-man-in-water-for-elephants/

          • Thanks for the info! Much obliged!
            Squeeee! It’s kind of like The Notebook! (maybe, not really at all probably)
            Yeah, I saw that they will NOT have Rob playing the 90 year old man.

          • che, thanks for that link. It will be interesting to see if they can find the right old guy to play an older version of Rob, or if they will still consider makeup/CGI on Rob. Personally, I’d like to see him try playing an old dude, just to see if he can do it. I have faith that he can.

          • Hmmm…Clint Eastwood is 80 now…tall (6′ 2″), good looking and a pretty great actor. Wonder if he could be an “old” Jacob?

      • Hey there Arizona shortie bestie!!!

        Wow, you got your stuff down pat! I’m impressed!

  17. I’m a Southern gal, but not from The States, haha.

    So I guess that doesn’t count…

    I just wanted to share that I love the fact that Ms Witherspoon’s chin has got his own facebook page:

    http://www.facebook.com/pages/Reese-Witherspoons-Chin/209720232018

    Now I’m seriously starting about setting up a FB account for Rob’s hands. Or his jaw, no wait, maybe his hair…

    Sigh, impossible to choose. I give up.

    😉

    • seriously thinking about setting up one I meant…aargh…

      • Do it! We need a separate page for each of his features!

      • Do it Cath!

  18. What a quiet morning so far… there are usually twice as many comments by the time I log on in the morning!

    Is it due to Good Friday and Easter? Are wicked thoughts being reigned in until Monday? (Not for this lapsed Irish Catholic girl!)

    • Ikr? Everytime I log in everyone has commented and is gone… bahahahha
      I kind of just talk to myself… 😀

    • Yes it’s because it’s Good Friday and lots of people have families visiting and stuff.

  19. Rob needs to be prepared for the “thank you” notes that the momma of any G.R.I.T. (aka girl raised in the South) has trained her to write. According to my momma, there is no such thing as a
    “thank you” email or phone call. It has to be a handwritten note on your personal stationary sent within two weeks of the deed or gift that you are obligated to write the “thank you” for.
    Don’t forget that some even go to the extreme that you write a “thank you” for a “thank you”.

    By the end of filming, Rob will probably get one of my favorite Southern Belle jokes. A southern belle told me this joke – was sorta shocked because she was all prime and proper and pearl wearing.
    Why don’t Southern women have group sex???
    TOO many thank you notes!

    • Too many thank you notes! HILARIOUS! You all make me wish I was a Southern girl, too!

    • Hilarious!
      PS- I always feel the need to write a Thank You note for a Thank You note I receive! But I never do…

      • I do this. I can’t help myself.

    • I’m just like that, a personalized touch to everything. It’s how I was raised. Sometimes I even spray perfume on the card or stationery!

  20. […] LettersToRob are discussing the new cougar in town […]

  21. This letter was written by 2 of my favorite people.
    It screams AWESOME, #Coo & #Goo

    • Dear Janet,
      would you mind explaining me the whole #Coo and #Goo deal?
      I feel like I missed smth…

      • I misstype A LOT! I mean a whole hell of a lot. I don’t like self editing at all, unless I am editing for work, where I have to be vigilant. And, PS I also suck at spelling. Spell Check and Freya Check are my life!
        Anyhow, one day I misspelled Good and then followed it up by saying that “Goo” is like “Good”, only better. The same followed with a misstype of “Cool” and “coo” from Brookelockart. The hashtags, are added just because we do that on twitter sometimes. So, henceforth…….I continue with Goo and Coo. Cause really, who needs that 4th letter? You know what I’m saying?

        • or the last letter in ‘drunke_’ hehe- that was funny that day.

          • Exactly! You feel me! Last letters of words are over rated.

          • There’s no need- I got your point! And feel free to make fun of my typing mistakes- I deserve it!
            But its all goo.

          • I would NEVER tease someone else about typos. One should not throw stones, as they say.

          • It’ on o thos test wher peopl se i yo ca understan sentenc wit missin letter . THIS IS FUN!

        • Hugs to Jane Trigs! Thanks for the sweetness! It’s #coo.

      • oh thanks for clearing that up…
        So #goo and #coo are better than the actual words. I have to keep that in mind!

        Let’s try:

        My girls here at LTR are goo and coo as hell!!!

  22. BTW girls:
    I am celebrating the 100th post over at TCS. With RobPorn… Like plenty.

    So if anyone feels like having some RobPorn feel free to go. And don’t forget to leave me some love!

    http://thecoldshower.wordpress.com/2010/04/02/celebrating-the-100th-post-with-robporn/

    • Seriously can’t stop looking at the Burberry tie pic. It is quite possibly the best pic ever.

      • A thousand thumbsup for the Burberry tie pic…no words for that hand in…you know!

    • Bleriana girl…do you have any idea what day it is today??? Couldn’t resist your site…well you died me…Rob died me…and now I’m of to church!

    • Oooopss… ?!

      Well you girls sure as hell would have gotten your daily dose of Rob. So why not get a good one?

      bahahhaha

      • And it was definitely an awesome dose! Gawd!

        “Bless me Father, for I have sinned.” said the non-Catholic Southern girl!

        • I would kind of change it a bit.

          “Bless me father, for I have sinned. And btw thanks for Robert Pattinson!”

          bahahhaha

          • Bwahahaha – TOTES!!!!

            The other day I heard a co-worker say “Even God rested on the 7th day”… I thought, “No, on the 7th day God created Rob.”

          • My sister (who became a rob fan after watching remember me) changed her former saying from “First god created the man and when he saw what the heck he had done he created the woman.” into “First hod created the man, then the woman and when he saw how sad men were making women he created Rob to make it better.”

            God bless her little heart!

  23. i love Water for Elephants. im way too excited about it and the fact that robs gonna play jacob. omg, im dying…

  24. I gave my heart to Jesus…but I absolutely can’t resist Rob!

    Hey guys…just a quick hallo…wanted to see if you are all ok and make sure that Rob is in good shape 😀 (yep he is)

    Great letter Freya…

    @ Cath and SB…I will very much try to not let ANYTHING come between me and Rob! Thanks for the support girls. Love you!

    • PS…by Southern girl…is a Greek girl southern enough???

      • Definitely southern enough Mel!

      • LOL, I don’t know honey, but you can be an honorary member!

        XO
        Sb

  25. I seriously didn’t want to spoil you with more but ok. Here it is:

    Bella getting Edward nacked!: http://wp.me/pM4fl-l8

  26. Fabulous post, Freya!

    • Why, thank you, kind lady!

  27. Sweet tea IS the house wine of the south, ya know?

    Freya, you are my people. I hope Reese rubs off on Rob. Not in THAT way, of course. You know what I mean.

    • And you are my people. But you should know that already. *hugs*

  28. Okay so I just saw Remember Me as it only came out today in the UK.
    The ending.
    I died. It killed me. The end.
    I cried like a baby and have been in a depressed stupor ever since.

  29. Donning pearls + diamonds and applauding in your general direction ladies. My heart also belongs to Jesus, but…

    Dear Rob,
    Let’s play Last Tango in Paris. Get the butter.
    <3, Me

    Well done Freya and Lula!

    • why is everyone so obsessed with butter today?

      • Have you seen the movie – Last Tango in Paris? There is a sex/rape scene involving butter. Way back when they were filming Twilight, Kristen said in an interview that one of the movies she liked and watched with Rob was Last Tango in Paris. It’s rated N-17 and the chick is naked for most of the movie. It has Marlon Brando in it. It’s a good movie but graphic in some parts.

      • http://www.mtv.com/videos/movies/457580/outtakes-from-mtv-news-first-interview-with-robert-pattinson-and-kristen-stewart.jhtml

        This is the link for the video clip.

        • thanks for explaining!
          I remember seeing that video. She even said thats what they based the whole edward-bella relationship on.
          But I have never seen ‘Last tango in paris’ and I don’t plan to either because I am not a perv… J/k
          I wanted to watch it someday but I kind of forgot…

          But it has rape in it? Never knew that

        • My video store went out of business and was selling everything cheap so I bought Last Tango in Paris for about 30 cents. Uhm, yeah, I wasn’t expecting that.

      • We southerners love butter(see Paula Deen) but I’m assuming they were also referring to a movie that Rob and Kristen saw together.

      • Can someone describe that butter scene -in complete detail?

        • You asked for it:
          Marlon Brando’s character basically butt rapes this girl Jean (who he’s already had lots of consensual sex with) using butter as a lubricant.

          • omg… now I am kind of disturbed.
            First basically rape and then Butter as a lubricant (does that even work?)
            I am in a very very pervy mood today. I should head to sleep now…

  30. I just finished this book this morning. It was so good and I can’t wait to see Rob in the movie! Squee!! I didn’t watch Vanity Fair so won’t have the incest creep factor and I have always liked Reese, so I’m excited to see how it works out!

  31. Water for Elephants is an exellent book. ..read it back a few years ago. Ya’all are gonna love it!

    Christoph Waltz will be playing the nasty mean trainer character (a nazi in circus uniform). Sean Penn was up for the role but he dropped out (oddly after Robbie signed up). whats that about?

    Re: ROSIE – watch out for her… She’s a “character” in the book. I think “Rosie” will be BIG competition for Robbie’s effections..

    I read that he’s already done a photo shoot with ROSIE and is very fond of her.. she took a few liberties though.. she kind of felt him up. (that last part is true by the way)… wink- wink.

    I won’t spoil it by adding more.. But its one of the better written books that has come out in the last years or so.. (sorry Ms. Meyers).
    A good over all satisfying read.
    So theirs a book club around it in the forum? where can i find it? looking.. but nada!!!
    gracias, xH

    • wow hermes ROB’s pic with Rosie can’t wait to see it

      • Rosie’s a BIG character.. and bigger in person.
        You will fall in love with her character too..

        • yes i know the caracter (and get it ,u don’t wanna spoil it)
          but can’t wait to see Rob with her.
          i love the relationship between Rosie and Jacob

  32. As a southern gal, I have to agree with you on the seduction arsenal!

    I have more tricks in my bag Rob, come and get it! 🙂

    Oh and another thing, the jeans and boots. Well how about short-short jean shorts and cowboy boots!? haha. Daisy Duke shorts!

    • Oh and the food….food is the key, yes it’s definitely the way to a man’s heart(is thru his stomach, what my mama told me). Wars have been won because of food….not really but I just thought I’d say that, haha!
      Happy Easter!

  33. Skin So Soft….. pahahaaa!! I love it!! I love you, Frey Frey.

    M

    PS – “…wearing what I can only assume is a napkin from dinner around your neck in Vanity Fair.”

    Seriously… thank you for that line. Period clothing is so fug. Bel Ami pics = fug. I love Rob, but I am not loving the old timey up-to-the-armpits-nut-huggers and his floofy scarves and ties. Just not working for me. Sorry AMBER!! lol Actually, no I will not apologize. :p

    • Oh Myria…

      What can I say? There something about a man wearing those prim and proper period clothing. Maybe it’s because I think they’ll look amazing on the floor, next to my bed. I want to get all dirty with that prim and proper Rob!

      And never complain about nut hugging pants. You need to embrace your Oklahoma roots, where nut hugging Wranglers are a part of life.

      Gah. What am I going to do with you? I think I’m gonna have to take all your TayTay pics away as punishment for this blasphemy!

      • “they’ll look amazing on the floor, next to my bed.”
        You are my people Amber…

        “I wanna get all dirty with that prim and proper Rob!” <<< I will so quote you on that!

      • Listen up, AmberRMW!!

        1) You *really* don’t care what Rob is wearing as long as it ends up on the floor next to your bed. #truth

        2) Wranglars are disgust. I like Southern Thread because they work my hubbs bootay a lot better than Wrangler’s do. #seriousfax

        3) If you go *anywhere* near my TayTay pics you’ll be pulling back a nub. #forserious

        Love you long time,
        M

  34. Which would you choose – break someone’s heart, or getting your heart broken?
    – Simple – even though I shouldn’t say it: break someone’s heart.
    – It takes so long for my heart to heal. Or maybe it gets broken too often. Sometimes it feels like I have my heart broken every day.

    poor baby ,promise i will never ever broke your heart
    try me

  35. and here TOMSTU
    You’re friends with Twilight star Robert Pattinson. How long have you two known each other?
    We went to school together, and then we lived together for a bit, so we’ve been friends and more for what feels like our whole lives.
    Tom’s face suddenly stills and he hurriedly adds more: I mean, we are friends. He’s my best friend, and that’s it. He’s like a brother to me, you know? We have the same group of friends, and I’m friends with all of them, not just him.
    But our curiosity has already been piqued, and we press for more information.
    Have you been more than friends with him? (pause) I really don’t want to talk about him. It’s just weird, you know? I want to respect his privacy, since he doesn’t have much of it anymore. I mean, I’d do the same for any of my friends.

    tell us Tom have u been more than friends?

    😀 😀 😀

    • @che ~ Loving your avatar! I feel the overwhelming need to lick his back up and down his center curve.

    • woo hoo ! Che. 😉

      Interviewer- “Mr. Sturridge have you been MORE than friends with Robert Pattinson ..”

      TomStu “ah, um.. well ahh… So much has already been written, I don’t want to add anymore to it.”

      Rob- ” I’m allergic to VAGINAS”..

      get it?
      haha.

      -H

  36. hahaha @puma
    i luv my avi too and i’m not sure why but i guess it’s my favourite part of his body
    (apart from his lips,eyes,jaw,hands,hair,legs….)

  37. Freya, this is great. My mom lathered me in SSS when I was a kid for the ‘mosquitos’. Uh yeah, Mom, that worked. Geezle.
    Oh and I’m not Southern but I do love me some butter.

  38. LOVING all the Southern Girl love today! Didn’t realize there were so many of us here. I’m a “Bama girl myself, and I totally agree with everything posted here! Although (and I’m sure most of y’all will agree with me), there are different kinds of Southern Girls. Some do the whole pearls and sundress thing, but then there are those (like me) who’d so much rather be in jeans and a t-shirt and drink beer with the boys! I love me some SEC football (Roll Tide) and am a proud tomboy. But I’m also a Daddy’s girl at heart, and I know how to be a good Southern Belle when I need to be. Anyways. I loved Water For Elephants sooooo much! Rob is going to be glorious in it, as Jacob is kind of an awkward character (woah, just realized THAT irony, him playing a character named Jacob…).

  39. hearing Rob make fun of Reese by doing a southern accent would die me for life. let’s pray for some behind the scenes teasing footage.

  40. Fried chicken, La Perla under your sundress, and Jack Daniels.
    Boom

  41. Ah, us southern girls, we are a rare and proud breed. Indeed Robert watch your back, with a sweet “bless his heart…” we can dictate a future.

    Id like to see him some gorgeous Tennessee afternoon with the proud and few southern Ltt-ers. and Elise, yes ma’am on the football – screw the peals, when is football season?! – Go Vols

    Feisty as fire, sweet as pie – rob you are welcome to join us any time… Ill make you some real tea.


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