Posted by: Bekah | March 4, 2010

The Five Stages of Robsession

Sparklepants (um, best name ever) has done some research for us on the 5 stages of Robsession…

Dear Rob,

I’m a huge fan of the site LTR and their “mission” [UC Note: You can call us missionaries from Β now on]. It’s been nice to find a place where I can enjoy my Robsession out in the open. (Okay, well in a small browser on my desktop behind an excel spreadsheet, but you get the point). I realized that, as a sane person, I am conflicted. There’s my inner tween squealing with fangirly delight toting her Team Edward backpack around. And then there’s independent strong woman who dates serious guys, like guys with jobs in finance. What happened to me? It was then I realized that the Kubler-Ross model is not the 5 stages of death, but rather the 5 stages of Robsession. Get on the couch, grab your Snuggie and read on.

Stage 1: Denial…It ain’t just a river in Egypt.

"So you're saying there's a chance"

I denied my addiction at first . Well, it’s wasn’t a full-blown addiction at first, but denial is the the first rung on the downward spiral that leaves you up at 2am, suckling at your Details magazine in the dark, drinking Chardonnay out of a box Googling, “rob pattinson girlfriend” to ensure you’re single, cause then I have a chance. I was a powder blue tux away from being Jim Carey in ‘Dumb and Dumber’. In some small part of my brain, where reading too much fan porn fiction had rotted away my sanity, I believed we were going to meet, fall in love and have sparkly, bouffanted babies. Cue Wayne’s World dream sequence….bloodeedebloooboo…..We’re in the frozen foods section of the grocery store. We both reach for the same box of Pepperoni & Sausage Hot Pockets and BAM. Fireworks.

Stage 2: Anger

So why are we not together Rob? We could be rummaging through the dollar bin at Goodwill right now. I’ve spent so much time investing in our relationship that I barely see my friends anymore and I’m on the verge of losing my job. I’ve even taken up smoking. I’ve made so many sacrifices for you. And how do you repay me? By cavorting with nude models and mullets? And then profess your immortal love for…your dog? That’s my competition? What’s the hold up Rob? Allergic shmergic. Take some Claritin, lace up the Nike’s and get your (*hackingcough*) ass over here. Now.

Stage 3: Bargaining

"So I've got you for down Tuesdays and Thursdays. KStew on Fridays and Wednesdays...waittaminute, where's TomStu?"

Okay, okay. So I get it, I’m not going to run into you at my local Piggly Wiggly. I mean you have Dean/Steve to satiate your all your Hot Pockets desires. Fine. And so what I’m a little older…not Betty White old, just more…mature (read: experienced). Maybe Alice won’t throw us a fairy tale wedding replete with white gardenias but I still think we could have mindblowing sex a blast together. I don’t need forever…just some shits and giggles over a few Heinekens. Blast some Clare de Lune, make some prank calls to Cougar Cathy. That’s all. See I’m not greedy. I can share.

Step 4: Depression

We’re not getting married. We’re not having bouffant babies. We’re not friends. Heck, you don’t even know I exist. I just wanna crawl under the covers and not shower or wash my hair for days, even weeks on end…but (sigh) that only reminds me more of you. I don’t even care. What’s the point of life without you? Nothing makes me happy. Not Press Rob, all curled up on a chair in the fetal position, fondling a microphone. Not Plaid Rob, or 8-Layers of Shirts Rob. Or even Underwearless Oscar Rob…okay, wait that still makes me happy.

Step 5: Acceptance

"It took all the strength I had not to fall apart. Kept trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart."

Fine. I’m merely one of the hundreds of millions of females on the planet who live under the same crazy psychotic one-step-away-from-the-looney-bin pretense that you’re attainable. That you’re “one of us”. But regular people don’t have 759,427 blogs and websites dedicated to them. Not just dedicated, but DEDICATED. Like fly-around-the-world-to-get-a-glimpse-of-the-back-of-your-head dedicated. How do I compete with that? I was better off when it was just Patti. So Rob, I concede. We gave it a go, but obviously there are just too many obstacles keeping us apart. The not-knowing-I-exist is a pretty big one. I just don’t see how we can move past that. I’m sorry Rob…it’s over. That is unless I end up getting tickets to a premiere and we happen to be at the popcorn stand reaching for the same bag of Sour Patch Kids….(and now back to Stage 1…)

You had me at “Cheeseburger”.

– Sparklepants

This is pretty much my daily inner-monologue. I just thought if there was one person out there that I could help this would be worth it.

Thanks Sparklepants, it WAS worth it. Now, which stage are YOU in? Still think you’re gonna tap that someday? Depressed that you never will? I am working on a letter with the stage I am in, so you’ll just have to wait πŸ™‚

So…. Rob is in a new movie. Have you heard? Did you buy your tickets yet? You can buy them in advance on Fandango.

Anndddddd there’s a campaign going around to make Saturday March 13th, “Remember Me Saturday.” The idea is to go back and see the movie again (assuming you’re seeing it Friday night) and bring your family and friends- yes, even your grandpa. Having trouble getting the man in your life to give a crap about this movie? How about printing a picture out of Emile De Ravin, who has been looking smokin’ lately, and telling him that he’ll get to see her in some sex scenes? Oh, and make sure NOT to mention that Rob is in the movie. Then he’ll probably go with you for sure! Check out the Remember Me Saturday website for more details

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter

Advertisements

Responses

  1. Dear Sparklepants-
    you’ve got it. There’s cycle of Robsession and once you reach stage 5- back you go to Stage 1. Around and around we go.

    Did you know that one of the definitions of insanity is repeating the same events over and over and expecting a different result?

    However, the support group that is LTR is great- helps with the stages very nicely.

    And BTW- ‘Cue Wayne’s World dream sequence….bloodeedebloooboo’.
    You get my vote for the best written sound effect!

    you’re not alone-
    drsaka

    • Oh draska!! We were sharing a brain this morning. My post is almost identical to yours πŸ™‚

      • Hi toooldforthis, we’ve the same topic, so its inevitable! There’s been so much Rob in the last few days- I’m in a Robhaze.

        Did you see this?
        Drunk Rob back in London with TomStu!
        http://www.robsessedpattinson.com/2010/03/robert-pattinson-spends-his-first-night.html

        The comments are funny there is one that says he spilled a drunk on hs crotch!

        And the beanie is back AND the jacket he has on has a plaid lining!!!!

        MP is going to be jealous!

        Our Rob is back (and we’re back at Stage 1!!!).

        • “OUR Rob is back!”
          I love you for that comment, I’m hopefully NOT in stage 1 with you, that would be too much for me!!!
          πŸ™‚

        • Love those photos!

        • Haha, yeah funny. I would have spilled that drink on his crotch too!

          • I LOVE the photos!! He looks either tired or a bit tipsy but who care?! He looks great!! The best part was that there is no sign of Stewpot anywhere so he gets all the glory…which is how it should be!!!!!

            I love that he takes time to acknowledge his fans. It really does make him seem ‘attainable’. Guess I’m back to stage 1! (crap πŸ˜‰ ) oh well. Back through the crazy Robssessed stages for me!! I must say, there are much worse stages I could be in so I’ll def take Stages of Rob any ol’ day!! πŸ˜€

    • Today I’m on Step 4 (Depression) because yet again I wasn’t in the right place at the right time…….that bloody man was out drinking in ISLINGTON at The Garage, at the bloody Garage…..and what was I doing last night? Was I out? NO, I stayed in to watch the sodding football!!!!!!

      I can’t take much more of this……..Am now trying to track down friends who may or may not have been at ‘The (bloody, buggering) Garage or up Holloway Road end of Angel drink and could have possibly seen him……*hysterical weeping*

      • M!- it is too bad that you missed him again. I believe that the odds will be in your favor soon! Don’t despair!!

        • I saw those pictures on Robsessed this morning, and the first thing I though when I looked a that those pics, was..

          ‘hmmm that place looks familiar’…..*more hysterical weeping*

          • M!- it must be very frustrating.

            However, if your weeping, yesterday, Cath, SB and I decided to form a band called ‘The Weeping Ovaries’. Would you join us?
            Funny- the name sounds like we’ll be continually PMSing!!!!

          • M!M!M! sorry about your frustration. I’ll look for a cheer up something for you in a bit.
            Drsaka, you missed all the BIJ refs yesterday. There is a BINYC (not the tight gray pants). I’ll find it for you, it’s a fan pic. Feed the Robsession a bit more.

          • Hi Jules, I got the pin striped trouser pic! Thanks for thinking of me!

      • @mine this is destiny ok,just wait for the right moment,it’s still on planing ;to get to the best result for your first meet.it won’t be casual, it’ll be something special.
        be patient ,keep the fait. the day will come,eventually
        ❀ πŸ™‚

        OT:go england!

      • Mine! Just 😦
        the garage, the garage! Damn! Feeling bad for you!

        • I’m feeling bad for me 😦

          Yet another Bobby Long gig, though I’ve read since that RP and Marcus didn’t turn up until after. TomStu also there.

          • TomStu was there…DOUBLE damn!!! Rob, the ghost in the night…..

      • 😦 From now on try and go to all of his friend’s gigs, you’re bound to run into him that way.

        • M! there must be some sort of nightlife listings that says in advance when a Rob-friend or Rob-sister will be performing somewhere? Get on that list, girl, and realize you’re going to have to give up your evenings to drinking in random pubs where HHH may or may not turn up! We’re depending on you, ‘cos we can’t be there!

          • Or she can just sign up on the websites of Rob’s friends to be notified when there’s gonna be another gig and as to where it is gonna be. That will help a lot.

            None of his friends have been here to KY, otherwise I would have gone if they were in the neck of the woods.

          • Mine!, are you listening to SB? Sign up now!

          • What does it say about us that we’re resorting to “Fake-Friending” Rob’s friends in order to see Rob in person? It’s like, “heeeey….boy…you’re hot! love the gig! now…where’s Rob? not coming…b-bye-ya!”

            Kinda sad… guilty of thinking about doing this… but still kinda sad.

    • Best written sound effect! WORD!

      • I’m going to have that sound in my brain all day long now-

    • Thanks. I figured I wasn’t alone. Glad to know we can commiserate together.

  2. This letter was fantastic!

    It was also educational and informative, which makes me feel slightly less lazy for spending time on a Rob blog.

    I just have one question – Is it possible to go through the 5 stages more than once?
    ‘Cause I swear I’ve reached the Acceptance level, just to be suckered back into Denial when he talks about loving older women.

    Or is that what they call Robinsanity?

    • I think it is possible, because I’ve gone through the cycle at least 3 times, and that was just this morning. lol

    • I feel all 5 stages almost every day. And they sometimes changed really quickly. So it’s like the emotional rollercoster most of the time, from 1 to 5 in one minute. Sometimes i just want to forget, and not think or feel,…but i can’t. But at least i know what’s wrong with me, and that i’m not alone.

  3. Such a good letter hilarious

    “not shower or wash my hair for days, even weeks on end…but (sigh) that only reminds me more of you.” Lmao

    I am at stage 5 it ain’t never gonna happen !

    • You’re on the speed cycle, Watch out for shortness of breath, inability to focus, having anything remind you of Rob, oh wait that’s part of the normal speed cycle. Your the lady with the spinning head!

      (oblique U2 ref for Cath- not sure if she’ll be here today, but had to do it anyway).

      • gah- that was supposed to be under not bears comment above- sorry.

  4. You had me at “bloodeedebloooboo”. And on that note, “He will be mine. Oh yes, he will be mine.”

  5. Love it, Sparklepants.

    I think I go through each of these stages on a daily basis. I’m in a great mood right now, so that probably means I’m at stage 1. Again.

  6. Sparklepants,
    Thanks for the letter…I think it’s great that you took the time to research our Robssession. I love the Dumb and Dumber reference: “So you’re saying there’s a chance” LMFAO!!!!

    Personally, I jump from Step #5 Acceptance to Step #4 Depression….I think I should check myself in……….perm.

    What step is everyone else at?????

    • I want the rehab, but I don’t want to go!

      I am on the vicious cycle stage – it never ends!

      • Jenn, I’ll go to rehab if Rob is my perscription to getting better…if not, I’ll pass to..I’d rather be in hell than off my Rob Drug.

  7. I would like to add a Step #3.5 CANDIDATE
    This is when I feel like Rob and I could totes hang out and I would be a BETTER candidate than Mullsten (the cock blocker) because I will smile when he joke and be HAPPY to be next to him.

    • Misty, is stage 3.5 the stage where we’re the most hot and BOTHERED by Rob???

      • drsaka:: BOTHERED + HOT = LTR GIRL (aka Rob’s Golden Girls) because of his LONG LEGS IN TIGHT, GREY PANTS!!!!!!! TWSSSSSSSSSSSSS

        • that’s all the definition we need!

    • Oo, ‘candidate.’
      I like that one, Misty! I’m very familiar.

  8. Love this! Organised stuff turns me on. Throw Rob in the mix and I’m all smiles :).

    • All it needs is a color-coordinated flow chart, no?

      • Yes!

      • Hey was that u who said hi to me on FB? If so, sorry I forgot to reply!

        • SB is this a post to me? (mine!mine!mine!) if so, I don’t know what FB is so me thinks that maybe it wasn’t me? What is FB? πŸ™‚

          • Mine – sorry that post was for Obava. FB is Facebook.

          • Arrr….mystery solved! And why on earth didn’t I realise you were talking about Facebook…doh!

      • uhyesplease.

      • Obava,
        In your spare time, maybe you can create said chart. jkjk I know you are swamped…but so glad to see you here again.

        xoxox
        me

  9. thank u Sparklepants
    u got the point .and yes this is kinda
    “my daily inner-monologue” too
    i was at the stage 4 then 5 when i saw him at JFK with mullet but then with the whole RM press junket and those grey trousers(yes GREY TROUSERS):) i’m at stage 1 again, damn it!

    • that whole gray suit was great. I haven’t been able yet to look through all the gray suit pics- is there one similar to the infamous BIJ pic? if so, please direct me to it!

      (I think we need a collage of the all the ‘Big in….” pics).

      • draska, The pinstripe pants photo from ‘RP meeting with fans outside the daily show’ on Robsessed…. is sooooo BIJ.

        • yes @mine it’s just BIJ

          http://pics.livejournal.com/brandnewluv/pic/006a0ty3/g2824

          click to get bigger

          • che- that’s it and I’ve got it now, thanks. See my comment below.

          • Damn! I didn’t get this far before posting my previous comment.
            Here is the pics Drsaka:
            http://twitpic.com/161gfb

          • Jules…….hahahahahahahahahah

            Still LMAO…..am soooooo loving this picture. BRILL. I want this pic for my screensaver.

          • Oh Jules, that’s a different one! We’ve got quite the collection now! Refer to my comment about a coffee table book of pics with Rob in …every city/country. He’s lurking and providing us with material! Or he’s just very excitable!

          • Girls, it’s our mission!

            M!M!M! – You task is to get a BIL. I mean, you both live there for godsakes! Enough of these misses. (did you get the cheer up note I left you on fri? I think you may have signed off by then).
            Drsaka – You’ve got Boston covered, right?
            Min – has Paris and possibly London, if M!M!M! fails. AGAIN!
            RG – Got ALL of Germany and possibly London, if M!M!M! and Min fails.
            Cath – Has Amsterdam, she can give him a Heine bath as an incentive.
            SB- Got all of the south
            I don’t know where T.O.O., TOFT, Milfy and everyone else live but I’m sure they’re camera ready.

            We are Proud Pervs

          • Omg you girls are cracking me up today!

            SB got all the south? Ok! I’m game!!!

            Love this idea!!!

            PS I’m still thinking of those tight gray pants. *hangs head in shame*

          • Che,
            Click to get bigger?

            I heart you for that.

            lion

          • LMAO! Jules…you sound “high-on Rob” and I love it!!! ❀

            Dear Rob
            NO escape, there might be a "mission"..lol
            hopefully "possible" this time
            me
            πŸ™‚

          • SB – Don’t forget you, Cath and Drsaka have to go on tour as The Weeping Ovaries as well.

            ML – I don’t know where you are. What area of the BIJ mission will you be covering?

          • RG – Yup, I’m high on drunkRob pics!
            But, I’m really just rounding up the troops, is all.

          • hahaha
            yes cuz as u know we need to get ‘bigger’
            i heart u too lion

            p.s. @jules i saw this pic other day but was too embarrassed to send it
            don’t know why,as if i’m that naive and innocent:)

          • Hey Jules,
            I’ve got the southwestern part of the country covered (i.e. Colorado, New Mexico for Unbound Captives, Arizona and Utah).

            I’m going to hire a Native American to help me track him down.

          • OMG, I can’t believe I used a Native American stereotype…sorry about that…once I started thinking of tracking Rob…I got all stupid.

            lion

          • Jules – Haha on the Weeping Ovaries! Yah we are coordinating, LOL, as to what types of song/music/outfits to wear.

            Drsaka thinks that we will be scaring most of the male population with the band name though! And I said, yes because we sound like we are perpetually PMSing!!!

            Cath, where are you??????

          • ML – That’s a huge area to cover.

            SB – I like the band name, besides, the goal is to get only one man as a groupie, non?
            I say, keep the name and change the title of the first single. We don’t want the reminder πŸ˜‰

          • My camera is ready any time he wants to “appear” in Northern California or Oregon. I see all these promo events where he will stand next to a fan while she raises her camera to take a pic of the 2 of them. I can just see myself:
            T.O.O.: “Rob, Rob, can I have a pic?!!”
            He sees me, is immediately attracted because, you know, “the more age the better” and stands next to me for the picture. I hold the camera down low, say, below-waist height, instead of up high overhead.
            Rob: “what are you doing?”
            T.O.O.: “Getting a picture for the LTR coffee-table book–think about Betty White for minute, OK? A-a-a-nd, great, got it, thanks!”
            Voila, Big in SF.

          • TOO, that freaking hilar.
            God, can you imagine such a thing? WHAT would Rob do?

            You will present said pic in a “camera ready” format, right? A PDF would would best for printing.

          • One of these days, I will proof read before posting. I will.

        • Got that one! There was some talk about a showing in the gray trousers- I can’t find it. Need help.

          The funny thing is that when we started posting the BIJ pic a lot, we suggested that we needed a pic of Rob big in every city and that we’d make a coffee table book of it.
          So we have LA (commando Oscar Rob), BIJ, and now pinstripe trousers (NYC) and maybe gray trousers (also NYC),

          Rob, are you lurking and wanted to help us with this project? Hmmmmm….
          I really really don’t want to obectify you, but you’re not helping in that regard!

          I (we) still love your heart and especially your brain-
          Yours in book preparation,
          drsaka

          • that’s objectify, gah

          • Drsaka, he wore that FAMOUS grey suit on the “VIEW”, just watch the show and you’ll get many impressions! lol

          • RG- I’ll have to watch again. All I saw was his face, but I did notice the fantastic gray suit!

          • can u give a link to the commando oscar rob you’re referring to? I don’t think I’ve seen it & I’m terribly curious!! thanks

          • I’ll see if I can find it, Melinda.

        • those pinstripe pants was just bonus or too much after the grey ones.
          so what do u think trousers or jeans?in which one Rob is hotter?
          for those lovely days i’m ganna go with trousers

          • That gray suit killed me, but I’ll be happy to examine any look he gives us. But I think that so far, the trousers have given us more to examine.

          • He looks hellish good in everything he wears, but drsaka you are 100% right the trousers do give us ‘more to examine’ and I freely admit that I often find myself ‘examining’ his pants more closely than necessary.

        • Funny, Drsaka and I had this discussion last night.

          I think we are all thinking the same ladies!!!!! *blushing*

      • Hey Jules, I can cover Tennesse & Georgia!! I live in TN, but my family lives in Ga so I don’t have to come up with a ‘cover story’ to go there!! I’d be more than willing to have the camera ready! All I need is for Rob to make an appearance in our part of the country!! πŸ˜‰ Come on Rob, we NEED you to come down south! We love you here too ya know!! πŸ˜€

        • For sure, Rob southern girls are very nice and hospitable!!! πŸ˜‰

          Come on over!

          • That’s right, RG, who hasn’t heard of a little thing we call southern hospitality?!?!?!

            Hey RG, where are you? Apparently you’re from my general ‘neck of the woods’!!

          • I really should pay attention. Sorry, my last post was SUPPOSE to be to SB. I’m an idiot!! πŸ˜€ I’m going to blame it on Robssession. I just looked through some pics of him in those glorious pants!! And as for my question to SoutherBelle, I suppose if I had read a bit further, I would know where you are since you mentioned Louisville a bit farther down. Again, sorry!!

        • Mel, noted! You and SB have things under control in the south

  10. Great letter, great name! Thanks for articulating what I guess most of us go through on a daily basis. I’m in the Depression stage right about now.

    @mine! I feel like I’m being teased and tortured everytime there’s a Rob sighting in London. Everytime I get on the tube and have quick look at anyone remotely Hobo-esque I want give my brain a big fat slap. what would I even say?! I really want him to just be a complete Bastard and then I may be ‘cured’, but even then I don’t think that would work and/or happen- he’s just too adorkable.
    *SIGH*

    • GGGP……I’m getting to the point where I don’t want to know where he’s been cos just recently the sightings have all been in places I go/have been on more than one occassion, but never when he’s there!

      It’s all getting too much, I don’t think my sanity can take much more.

      Back in January (13th) Bobby Long was at the Hoxton Bar and Grill, and I seriously thought about going (I work really close) and apparently RP was there then (this didn’t appear on the interweb) but I’m believing who told me he was there.

      I AM CURSED!!!!!!

      • Sorry :-(. That would bother me too. If he ever shows up here in Louisville though, I hope I’ll find out. I’ll be there if that means I have to take my family with me(a husband and a daughter).

    • ohh @Goodgirlgoneplaid
      pls see him on the tube or somewhere,he becomes a bastard and u save us from this robsanity
      nooo this is a lie!!!

      by the way “Did you know that one of the definitions of insanity is repeating the same events over and over and expecting a different result? ”

      yes i know. this is i guess my life philoshopy so this could be my excuse for my robsession or an alarm to go to theraphy πŸ™‚

      • Jinx! I referred to that as a definition of insanity as well!

        • yes i got that from u
          thx for defenition
          good to know what i’m dealin’ with

  11. Hi girls, love LTR…don’t feel lonely anymore, we are all together in this Robsession. Well I’m in stage 4 depression, I’m talking about major pain here…mostly because yeah…he will never even know that we exist…
    can’t really deal with that one, can’t stop either…this is the circle to hell I tell you…

  12. Yeah, I’m in stage 4. Depressed that while he occupies soooooooooooooooooo much of my time and thoughts—he has absolutly no idea that I’m alive and would probably think I’m lame for being a fangirl in hiding.

    Now, I have to go eat some chocolate.

  13. nice one SP, are you me? – you described it perfectly!
    – I barely see my friends anymore
    – I’m on the verge of losing my job.
    – I’ve even taken up smoking.
    Yup!

    its not really over thou is it?, see this is the problem,

    • Hi Robzanne,
      I barely see my friends anymore, too, but I’ve made some great new ones who really “get me.”

    • Hahaha. All of this came from somewhere very real. I knew the only place I could share would be here. We’re like Robaholics Anonymous.

    • Please tell me the smoking thing is a joke….

      • That was to Robzanne…

  14. Love. This. Letter.
    We obviously all need some form of 12 step program. Robaholics the lot. Somebody find the name of Tiger’s therapist. Perhaps we can have him/her write a liitle something as a guest contributor. I believe admission is the first step so we have hope…

    • Perhaps I just speak for myself, but I don’t want a 12-step program.
      I’m quite content with my status as a Robaholic πŸ™‚
      And frankly, I don’t know what I would do with my time if I put an end to this obsession!

      • Well said, Jess. Well said.

  15. I’m in stage 6? 7? 15? with THIS MAN, hopelessly addicted without any return, he just makes me happy everytime I get a glimpse of him !

    Call me a fool……….I cannot help myself and I LOVE IT!

    • aww that’s so sweet.

      I fluctuate between stage 2 and 4, pretty much on a hourly basis….it’s quite tiring really. Sometimes I long for my pre-rob life back, but it’s been such a long time since I was sane that I can’t remember how I used to fill in my time….

      oh that’s right, now I remember, I used to do some work!!!!!

      • OT @mine do u like your avatar? i’ve so settled for..it became like my part ,this little green thing
        so i’m considering to use that at my ID or something
        sorry but i really consubstantiate u with your yellow one too πŸ™‚

        • @Che – I don’t mind it, it’s quite true to my RL look….I have three eyes and very little hair!!!! πŸ™‚

          Actually I have thought about changing it, I’ve got a rather unpleasant picture of my knees which I believe may make for an interesting avatar? What do you think?

          • hahaha i’m sure u’re as beautiful as this one
            your knees? interesting..
            but i think hard to compete with 3 eyes

            <3<3<3

      • Mine! The work…lol…..what work? I’m ready to live under the bridges of London unless somebody will invite me to live at her place…
        ????
        πŸ™‚

        • “I’m ready to live under the bridges of London”
          lol..RG
          luv that idea,i’m ready too, maybe we can found a colony there
          and Rob would find out and tweet about us like he did about remeber me saturday πŸ™‚

        • I’ll go w/ you. Live under the London bridge, stick to the plan honey :-).

        • you can all come live in my flat. There’s always room for a few more. And when the wind is blowing in the right direction you can hear Big Ben chime which, as you all know is on westminster bridge….so you would kinda be living near/under bridge…sort of…..ok, not really.

          SB – London Bridge not that interesting or pretty, if you’re going to go for living under a bridge could I suggest you try Tower Bridge….much pretty πŸ™‚

          • MINE! NEVER put “blow” and “big” in one sentence again, lol
            Thanks for the forced invite, you’re really sweet! ❀
            P.S. Aside from Rob, I love London sooo much, it's the coolest city I know!!!

          • @mine u’re not just offerin’ to stay at your flat but also suggesting some good bridges
            u’re so generous
            ❀ thx πŸ™‚

          • Mine – Oh I know, I’m being sarcastic! Be careful in offering your flat! We will come flooding over there!

            But ok I’ll take your advice on the Tower Bridge, if Rob frequents that place. πŸ™‚

    • You’re not a fool. πŸ™‚ You’re just being normal.

  16. pls enlighten us about advanced stages 6,7,15,…?so we can be prepared πŸ˜€
    who am i kiddin’, there’s no preparation or treatment

    • I’m not able to enlighten you..I just LOVE him all the time!
      It’s that simple!
      πŸ™‚

  17. See, now THIS is reason why I come here every day. Sometimes I just need to feel “normal” in my acute fondness.

    I know that Rob is concerned about “over-saturation”, but I just don’t feel that way. Which makes me think that I’m vacillating between the Anger and Bargaining stage.

    “Take some Claritin, lace up the Nike’s and get your (*hackingcough*) ass over here. Now.”

    Seriously, Rob, I’m waiting….

  18. Sparklepants, that was an amazingly hilarious (true) letter. I’m back at stage 2 after a trip around a few times. Actually… I think I’ve been at stage 2 for some time now… What? I just got through a really difficult break up! Damnit, Rob! FIX IT!

    • Rob can fix anything! πŸ™‚

  19. This letter is all sorts of wins. I go through these stages on an hourly basis, especially if Stewey is in the mix. *depression* Rob, I could wear your shirt AND smile. Talented like that.

    P.S.–Sooooo glad that having bipolar conversations with the HHH is total norm.

    • “I could wear your shirt AND smile.”
      her sourpuss single handedly puts me back into stage 4, explain it please rob why?!!!!!

  20. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: I am so glad that I’m not the only one out there with these feelings toward this COMPLETE and TOTAL stranger!!! Thanks for putting it down for reals, sparklepants.

    He had me at “candy.” Or maybe it was “sidewalk.”

  21. Remember me Saturday how about the rets of the week too. New Moon Twilight and Remember Saturday could be a wild one. Lets hope Rob can act his way out of this paper bag. http://defutebol.net

    • Don’t doubt the Rob, Bobbygee! I hope you’ll be taking your wife to this one!

  22. Denial works for me.Occasionally anger or depression slip in, usually when I see the perma-scowl on the mullet, but I push them back and take up my mantra:lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala.

    • Hey, that’s my mantra, too!

  23. Awesome letter Sparklepants! And best.fake.name.ever! Your five stages are totally recongnizable… and the longer you spend in the fandom, the faster you start going through the cycle. Again. And again. And again.

  24. Love the letter Sparklepants. Too true.

    I think I’m in depression again. Every burst of Robmania gets me so high, but then it is followed by such a big crash.

    Well, I’ll just have to hope for more Rob-TomStu pictures. They make me feel better.

    • THUMBS UP!

      • Jules – I’m still laughing at Rob BINY link…….hahahahaha thanks for cheering me up once again. BRILL.

        Milfy…..there’s a pic of Rob with TomStu in the background over at Robsessed (from last nights visit to The Garage) if that helps. Though if you really need cheering up I suggest you go to the link above that Jules posted to see a rather splended fan pic of Rob BINY.

    • Milfy -You said it well! That’s what I mean and that’s how I feel too. I get on this super high and then it’s followed by a violent crash :-(.

      I think it’s worth it though.

  25. Love your post Sparklepants!!!! Don’t worry girl, you’re in great company!

    Well I think I’m in stage 4 now. I go through these cycles, I don’t know how many times now but it varies! I just feel so far away and I feel he is so “not one of us” though. He feels so distant and yeah the fact that he doesn’t know I even exist. That just makes it all bad, like a bad taste in your mouth.

    The stage I’m in depends on what time of the month. πŸ™‚

    But I’m not giving up, hoping someday fate will intervene and we will have some random bump in at Starbucks or Heine Brothers(oh this may be a southern thing though). Sorry to say I can’t have a Hotpocket but there are other things we can share. Chat, drinks, music, jamming….anything Rob? I’m not hard to please.

  26. Sparkle – Thanks for this letter, it helps to know I’m not alone.
    I’ve been through these stages several times in the last 1.5 yrs. I’ve really tried to quit Rob, it’s no use.

    Now, I visit LTR for some support (enabling).

  27. I love being involved with a blog that uses the Kubler-Ross model applied to the 5 Stages of Robsession

    I vascillate between denial and anger then back to denial, then acceptance, then bargaining, then back to acceptance, but I’m not crazy AT ALL.

    Great letter, Sparklecakes.

    • Not crazy… That’s Normal!

      I will also agree that the letter is GREAT! Though how or why anyone could get past Stage 1 is a mystery to me.

    • None of us are crazy!

    • let’s try some Rob-calculation
      (1= denial, 2= anger, 3=acceptance, 4=bargaining)and I’m just following your sentence…I’ll get THIS equation:

      1 + 2 – 1 + 3 +4 – 3 = SEX ahemmm SIX …

      LION-honi, you’re such a perv!!!!

      πŸ™‚

      • Thanks, RG.

        Today is a big day. I’ve never been called a PERV before, but considering the context…I’m delighted and amused.

        xoxox
        me

        • stage “six” = one step further ….don’t know to what, but FURTHER!!!
          “perv” is the new “cool” so……<3

    • Wait. This model has a fancy name? Could this post BE any better????
      *dry humps ImaginationRob who just jumped out of her screen* Uhm, that would be a yes.

      • dry humps ImaginationRob? Thanks for the visual, Alice! Really, thanks!

  28. Nice! “You had me at ‘Cheeseburger’ “. Love it.

  29. Awesome post!!

    There’s nothing better than starting my day with A) Rob wallpaper welcoming me every morning as I turn on my laptop at work and 2) reading that we’re all in this together, giggling like 14 year old girls and nodding in solidarity at all of the great letters and comments. SO glad I stumbled across this site at last! I may be late to the party, but at least I made it πŸ™‚

    • Hey Pumagirl,
      Welcome to crazy.
      lion

      • Thanks for having me!!

        Ain’t no party like a Robsessed party, cause a Robsessed party don’t stop.

        Like, ever.

    • Hi…! and you’re not late to nothing!!!

    • Welcome Pumagirl!!!!!

  30. I don’t know about any of you, but I’m fairly certain that if I keep up at my current pace of admiration (not obsession, not obsession, not obsession) that I will surely be fired from my job for lack of productivity.

    • normal fear here around………lol

      • This mornings paranoia surrounded my sister (who also works at the same company as me) coming into my office while I was starting up my computer and realizing she’d see my desktop wallpaper of him. I frantically tried to open Outlook before she walked in. FAIL.

        She rolled her eyes (she’s 6 years YOUNGER than me) and walked back out. πŸ˜€

        • lol, another normal story, I guess this could be YOUR place ❀

        • You are definately in the right place Pumagirl!

          Welcome!

        • Haha, that sounds like my sister, 1 yr younger than me. Such a hater, pfft. When she says stupid stuff to me about Rob, I then continue to remind her that she looks 6(or more) yrs older than me!!!! That usually makes her shut up! πŸ™‚

    • Good, then you have more time to blog from home and your job won’t interfere with our favorite subject, right?

      I really don’t want you to lose your job.

  31. Sparklepants – Great name; great letter.
    Since we’re all sharing what stage we’re in, I’d say I’m somewhere between 4 and 5. And I skipped right over Denial and went to Anger. I never even entertained the idea that it was possible. Not once. I’m a smart, reasonable gal. But still I find myself not giving two sh*ts. He’s just too good to give up cold turkey. Won’t. Do. It. They can commit me, strap me down, drug me up…but they can’t get in here (taps head).
    In my head, it’s just me a Rob. Sometimes my hubby makes an appearance, too, but it’s mostly Rob. My poor hubs really has no idea of the depths of my insanity.

  32. I wonder if this is what Rob’s life is like currently:

    – gets of plane
    – goes home to put on different, dirty, $1 shirt
    – goes out to hear friends concert
    – is a cheap drunk from lack of food
    – sleeps on couch with shoes & beanie on
    – goes to Bel Ami set at 5:30 am in hope that make up team can make him look other than zombie
    – works 12 hours having sex with several women
    -adjusts the patch (ugh!)
    – goes home to put on diff dirty shirt

    p.s. Rob, if you lurk here, I’m joking about all of it except for adjusting the patch and sex all day.

    • Bahahahhahahahhahahhahhhhahahaa!!!

      1000 thumbs up Lion for BEST
      “first-day-of-Rob-is-back-in-London-summary”

      Dear Rob,
      it’s just GREAT to be 23y old!
      I know that!
      me

    • It’s a tough job, but someone’s got to do it, right?
      Didn’t you hear, he’s dispensed with the modesty patch, because it wouldn’t stay on (and why is that, do I hear you ask? The action was too vigorous, perhaps? Too much to hold back?) and he’s feeling “liberated” from having to be modest on set. And that was only after one tame scene in “Remember Me”. Imagine how “liberated” he must be now, after the Details shoot (“I wanted to get naked, too, but they wouldn’t let me”) and all the Bel Ami sex sex sex! I’m fainting now.

      • You are so right, T.O.O.

        Thanks for reminding me of the “liberation” comment.

      • TOO- I caught that detail as well- nothing could contain him (oops- that was a little too dirty)

        • He doesn’t need to contained, nuh uh.
          As SB said, he should just ditch the patch.
          I wouldn’t mind seeing BI Bel Ami. Just saying…

        • Too dirty for whom? Consider your audience here, dr.

          • may be too dirty for me!
            TOO- I think you were the only one who got my Sue Ann Nivens ref yesterday. What did you think of my sitcom idea?

          • Well, I’d watch it, if we got Kstew paired off with Lou Grant, they could huff and grouch at each other to their hearts’ content. But if Sue Ann Nivens went after Rob the copyboy, he would be happy to reciprocate, and Rhoda and Mary would only be able to watch in jealousy. Comedy indeed!

          • Hummmm…

            Running a copier can be more complicated then nuking a carrot in a mircowave.

          • Imagine the hijinks when the kids decide to photocopy their naughty bits and “something” gets caught in the machine and they can’t get it unstuck!

          • I think we just wrote our sitcom pilot! Thanks TOO and tigerkitten! We’ve go the material.

          • LTR has spawned a whole multi-media franchise here, dr. We’ve got a band (the Weeping Ovaries), a sitcom, and a coffee table book in the works!

          • We are enterprising, aren’t we?

    • The yellow shirt and the POW one definitely looks like they were from Goodwill!

      But he’s hot no matter what.

      As far the as modesty patch, just ditch it Rob! πŸ™‚

      • It takes a real man to wear bright yellow and our man Rob did it!

  33. I’m thinking I’d really like that coffeetable book. I’d be willing to pay BIG money for that….. and if you need my help for any other projects I can cover Scandinavia (I live in Sweden).

    • great, almost the whole Europe is Rob-zone!

      • I’ll cover California, I’m 2hrs from LA!

        Woohooo!

        Okay, so what exactly do I need to participate?

    • Everybody like the coffee table book idea! We’ve got a good starting collection and most of the US and a lot of Europe is covered.
      BTW- my suggestion of the book was an oblique Seinfeld ref!

      • I got it, Drsaka. Kramer’s coffee table book about coffee tables. HAHA
        I would buy your coffee table book, though. Okay, I’d buy two, one for daily usage and one to laminate for posterity.

      • Aren’t there some Australian and Asian gals hanging around here that we haven’t heard from yet? Like the Boy Scouts, we must Be Prepared to catch the “big” moments wherever they occur.

        • Well I’m part-Asian, does that count? LOL

        • Hey TOO – I’m in SF, also — we can tag team him to get the best shot possible! Ohhh, tag team. Hrm. Didn’t mean to go there. (OR DID I?)

          • Hi Pumagirl! Good to know I have backup for the “big” job, if you know what I mean. I always thought Rob had never been to SF until someone reminded me the other day about that Hot Topic appearance. He was not on my radar then, although I remember hearing about the crowds they hadn’t expected. He may have zipped there from the airport and back, and not into SF proper. I think he would enjoy SF as kind of a cross between London and LA, and people here are not obsessed with celebrity so they’d probably leave him alone. Just sayin’, Rob, in case you want to call me and arrange a visit!

  34. The coffeetable book must be made!!! I’ll help with pics from the Southeast region (TN, GA, AL, N.C) just send Rob this way!! ( I am now singing Red Rover, Red Rover, send Rob right over!!) Sorry. Guess I am a bit crazy after all!! πŸ˜€

  35. I am proud to announce you I am currently at the stage “Rob who? Don’t even care!” but probably because I am high on white powder, aka the adrenaline of the slopes. And will be probably back to my other junkie condition, aka Robsession, once back in Paris. But for the moment, I am enjoying my freedom!!! Feels so good!

    • hey MP- have a great time, but come back to us!!!

    • lucky girl
      so did u miss whole big in ny pics?
      waiting to add some pics for coffeetable book MP not the same without u

    • Enjoy your freedom honi, although I miss you sooooo much! and who knows, perhaps the white snow blanked totally out of your brain the Rob-addiction, the hope is the last to die, but I have a feeling that like every drug once you got back to normal surroundings,…… as you said….like crack!
      I ❀ you!

    • Min, you’ll be back. We ALL come back.

      Enjoy skiing, hun, lots to discuss on your return.

    • MP when you said white powder a certain controlled substance came to mind…and then I realized you meant snow!!! LOL

      Have fun!

    • Addicts have tried that before, Minuit, trading one rush for another. But it never works! You’ll be back, just wait and see. If I tried to trade addictions the only one really available to me is alcoholism, and reallly, who wouldn’t rather have Rob-oholism instead? Jogging? No, I don’t think so.

      • If that doesnt work …theres always cliff jumping.

        justsayin’

        πŸ˜‰

  36. SP- I had to come out of lurkdom to thank you for this letter. My obsession is relatively new and very intense. I’ve not yet made it to the Acceptance stage and I’m not sure if I want to. I’m excited about RM, but have a feeling that the tiny shred of sanity I’m currently clinging to will fly out the window when I see Rob(sigh) play this more “mature” role. Thank God I’m going to have more time to process all of this before Bel Ami!

    I’m on board to help with the book–got Alabama covered!

    • Welcome, Glynna- its fun here.

    • Hi Glynna,

      Welcome! I’m another who is relatively new and with the same insanely obsessive intensity. It’s almost unnerving, right??

    • Hi… πŸ™‚ all coming out today…….lol

    • Welcome, Glynna. We’re glad to have you here in our Robssessed little world!!!

      Where about are in ‘Bama?

      • Thanks everyone! I’m so glad to know that normal people, with real lives and reponsibilities are as obsessed as I am. LTR/LTT=free therapy!

        Melinda–I’m in S. Alabama. Just north of Pensacola, FL. You a southern girl too?

        • Yep. Born in Atlanta, lived there til I was 10, lived in Europe til I was 16 (Army Brat via my stepdad) & have lived in southeast TN for almost 16 yrs now. I consider myself from TN since I’ve lived here longer than I’ve lived anywhere!! I live in a small boring little town called Cleveland (our ‘claim to fame’ is Lee University…whoopty doo). I’m about 90 miles south of Knoxvile (GO VOLS!!), 30 miles north of Chattanooga, & about 2 hours north of Atlanta (Go Braves!)

          • See if Rob would just come down here, between you, SouthernBelle, & myself we’ve got the South pretty much covered!! ;-D

            Dear Rob,
            If your lurking here, please talk to your people & arrange a visit to the South (Tennesse, Alabama, Kentucky, Georgia, etc!!) Those of us from the South are quite certain you’ll be rather pleased with Southern Hospitality!!
            Love,
            Mel πŸ˜€

          • I live in the same small boring town I was born in but I love to travel. If it weren’t for having to come out to husband/family about my Robsession I woulda jumped on a plane to NYC! Am going to London for the first time in June. You’d better believe my eyes are gonna be peeled looking for that needle in a haystack!

  37. Thank you for the warm welcomes!

    A place to feel sane, accepted and understood — it IS like Robaholics Anonymous!

    (Should someone write a new serenity prayer devoted to Him? And yes, I capitalized Him on purpose.)

    • YOu mean, like this:

      Rob, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (ie. you and kstew)

      Courage to change the things I can (i.e. my relationship with you)

      And the wisdom to know the difference. (i.e. get tomstu and kstew to hook up)

      • AMEN!

      • BINGO!!

        • and welcome, pumagirlsf, it a lot of fun here.

      • AMEN. πŸ™‚

  38. OMG this is so for the win! HAHAHAHAHAHA
    So true..

  39. TOTALY OFF TOPIC But im excited i just noticed in re watching the lady GaGa video paparazzi (for the 100th time)that it was filmed in the same villa where the details shoot with HHH was done! I have no idea why this thrills me but it does. maybe its because in the video you get to see more of the place (also it is the LTR home office right?) perhaps it will inspire some bizare lady G and Rob fanfic and come on who doesnt want to see more wicker toilets!

    • completely don’t understand the wicker toilet- I think TOO and I agreed that the outside of it would be impossible to clean!!!

      • you would have to use like a presure washer or some shiz! lol

  40. Tupelohoney where are you? Please come out and play with us!!!!

    • Yes, Tupelo, Singlestrand and Snapped, where are you? Please don’t lurk…

  41. Hilarious letter sparklepants! Loved it. So true too, so true πŸ™‚

  42. My favorite highlights:

    (Okay, well in a small browser on my desktop behind an excel spreadsheet, but you get the point). **This is SOO me! If I’m feeling really daring its fanfic.

    Allergic shmergic. Take some Claritin, lace up the Nike’s and get your (*hackingcough*) ass over here.

    Awesome job sparklepants!

  43. Amazing job Sparklepants, flying the flag for ‘Team THAT’S NORMAL!’

    I was so glad to hear my daily stroll through steps 1-5 is normal.

    I watch a vid/look at a pic and go from watching this – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8LmTaVrPl8

    to this – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ovW5HmRoGE

    Yep, thats right…daily. at least 3 times. (Please feel free to feel second hand embarressed for me)

    one fine day Rob, one fine day **sigh** πŸ™‚

  44. Have been too overwhelmed with Rob goodness these last few days to have the time to comment, but have wanted to so badly. Loved yesterdays Golden Girls post!

    And LOVE your letter sparklepants!

    I think I have permanently settled in the Depression/Acceptance stage with regard to Rob meeting and falling into insane lust with me. Also, I truly would never cheat on my hubs. I know *gasp*–what kind of Rob fan am I???

    However, I continually cycle through the stages with regard to my new fantasy where I am “discovered” by some casting agent while sneaking a second sample at Trader Joes when that sample guy steps away. Said casting agent decides I would be perfect as the MILFY neighbor love interest in Rob’s next film, entitled, The Den of Sin.

    Filming would take place mostly in the bedroom. Rob’s modesty patch would fall off. Our sex scenes would incredibly convincing ’cause I’m such an amazing actress!

    It could happen, right???

    • wow, you’ve got that all planned out, whyamidoingthis! ‘The Den of Sin’ as a movie- we’ve got a sitcom, a band, a coffee table book, and now a movie! We’ve got a lot to do!

      • drsaka,

        HHH is our muse. Such creativity he inspires!

        I’m gonna dress up at the TJ’s on Sat. πŸ˜‰

        • Where’s your TJ’s??


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: