Today lion confesses that she may not be so innocent anymore….
What started out as an innocent little vampire movie has led me to some interesting things. Do you have any idea what’s happened to me since I first saw Twilight in July 2009? It’s a sweet little PG-13 thing, right? Uh, no!
Well, for starters, I read porn now. Some people call it fanfic, but it’s actually porn because anything that you read that instantly makes you wanna rip off your clothes to do your DH (of 14 years) in the middle of the day on the kitchen floor, is just porn. Thanks, Rob! I never would have read “fanfic” if it wasn’t for you, and I’m not sorry about any of this, but I am a little worried about myself. Is this normal?
I’ve also taken to reading and watching all of the books that your films are based on, such as “Bel Ami,” “Water for Elephants,” etc…as well as watching films that you’ve mentioned, just in passing, such as Godard’s “Prenom’ Carmen” and “Last Tango in Paris.” Remember, You and Kristen bonded over “Last Tango in Paris,” and although I’d seen it 20 years ago, it took on new meaning when I saw it last week. Can I just say that a stick of butter and a sexual act that is not legal in some states appears in Last Tango? See Rob, more porn. Everything you do or say somehow leads to porn.
Is this your legacy? I don’t even know if it’s possible for you not to be sexy. For example, you tried not to be sexy in “How to Be,” but when I saw you do pushups…sexy. When you talked to yourself in the mirror, again…sexy…and adorable. In Little Ashes, you kiss a man (and other sexual things) and even that did unspeakable things to me. If “Bel Ami” delivers on the sex, I may be in the same Sexual Addiction program as Tiger Woods.
Worried, but not shy or cowardly
To the LTR girls: So has your little crush on Rob lead to harder, more serious things? I’d love to know…or not…
To those of you who have no hit the “harder stuff,” you can at least take a peek at what you’re missing. These fanmade vids are incredible:
From Wide Awake:
From The Office and (NSFW- aka HOT):
UC here- Yes. I saw Rob on Fallon last night. Yes. I saw the back of his head and his ass in between all the photographers running through the crowd at the Remember Me premiere. Yes. I had an amazing time meeting all the new LTT/LTR friends. Yes. My feet hate me and will never forgive me for what I put them through. Yes. I will talk about it more later. Yes. I’m tired. XO