With award season in full force and Rob’s hair begging us to get the focus off him, we’re exploring a special category for Rob at the upcoming Oscar awards through a fan submitted letter:
I saw the list of actors nominated for Academy Awards and your name was oddly missing from the list. Look, if Sandra Bullock can be nominated, why weren’t you? Isn’t one of the ideas behind receiving an award such as this, that the audience feel something deeply from the performance? I’m shocked that you were overlooked. You delivered, man. You took a difficult vamp role, with practically zero experience and made your character one of the most beloved and sexiest in current cinema.
Did the Academy not see the way you cracked that cell phone while you were in a dingy hotel in Brazil? Is it weird that that scene turned me on. What about the parking lot strut? My breathing hitched during this one. Did they miss the way you recited Romeo and Juliet for your English class in Forks? Yes, I admit it was understated, but I felt “something.” What about the look in your eyes when your skull cracks on the floor during the Volturi fight? Is it wrong that I practically bit through my lip during this scene? Rob, I’m sorry but I love seeing you get your *ss kicked.
Every time I see these scenes, strange things happen to me, and surely this is the mark of great acting. I feel things when I see you on screen that I’ve never felt from any acting performance. Perhaps there should be a special Academy Award called, “Oscargasm,” just for you, Rob.
I felt that “special” feeling during Little Ashes as well and have very high hopes for Remember Me. If Bel Ami delivers on the sex, you will be nominated again and maybe the name of the special Oscargasm will simply be named the Robert Pattinsongasm award, but no will be able to do it the way you do. That’s what she said.
Thanks for doing it for me everytime, Rob,
See you at the Poll:
It’s been awhile since we’ve run one of our famous “See you at the Poll” polls. Today, let’s explore which of the following awards Rob deserves MOST:
What do you think!? What did I miss? Got any better award ideas for Rob?